Destiny Sacrifice: The Clone Wars Season 6 Episodes 12 and 13

Yoda is on a spirit quest and arrives at a Force cloaca that is spewing the living Force into the galaxy (Oh shit! Is that Ego the Living Planet’s music?). Yoda passes the corpse of J.N. Reynolds and lands in what can only be called Grandfather Nurgle’s Summer estate. Yoda is approached by a Force Spirit, and follows it into the jungle. The force spirit is joined by her sisters Melpomene, Thalia and, I don’t know, Terpsichore and Clio? I might be overthinking some of this stuff. They start to teach Yoda.

Yoda’s first trial is to face off against his own personal gollum. Yoda decides that his best bet in a time of spiritual crisis is to fall back on the gospel of Austin, specifically chapter 3, verse 16. New Yoda break down that a dark side is part of all life, even Yoda Classics’. Then to emphasize the point New Yoda unleashes a 100 move combo. Yoda finally admits his hubris.

The force spirits naming themselves as: confusion, anger, sadness, joy and serenity. I’m batting .400. Yoda is thrust into a second vision, surrounded by dead Jedi and younglings. Yoda is tempted with relief from sorrow, confusion and anger and is incepted into a more pleasant vision where the Jedi are alive, Ahsoka is still a Jedi, there is no war, and even Dooku is still a Jedi Master. Yoda chooses hard truths over easy lies and passes the trial.

The Force Spirits give Yoda his final trial, sending him to Moraband which, for legal purposes, is definitely not Korriban. Go ahead Bioware, try to sue Disney.

Yoda arrives on Moraband, walks through the desert wasteland and is surrounded by some Deatheaters from Azkaban. As Yoda defeats them, Dooku awakens from meditation… Did he sense Yoda? We’ll soon find out as Sidious summons Dooku to Coruscant.

Yoda enters a temple and meets Darth Bane, and ancient Sith lord that created the “rule of two.” Yoda defeats him by pulling a reverse Tinkerbell and telling Bane he doesn’t believe in fairies.

Back on Coruscant Sidious and Dooku use Dooku’s connection to Yoda to see through time and space. Sidious telepathically reemerges on Moraband as Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, someone Yoda would be happy to see still alive.

Sifo-Dyas offers to tell Yoda who the Sith lord is. Yoda refuses the all-to-good offer. He suddenly wakes up on a transport ship on Coruscant, with Anakin and some clones, that is headed towards a secret rendezvous between Dooku and Sidious… However, Yoda is confused how he got here, and what the mission is, even though it is “his mission” according to Anakin. (Is Yoda still in the bacta tank? Is this all a dream? Is he still on Moraband? Stay tuned to find out!)

Yoda tells Anakin he wants to capture the two, but kill them if it is necessary because this must end here. Anakin fights Dooku, gaining the advantage, taking Dooku’s saber, and beheading him over Yoda’s objections.

Yoda pursues Sidious. A lightsaber battle ensues. Anakin joins in, but is knocked unconscious. Yoda continues his fight with Sidious, but must save Anakin as the bridge they are on is collapsing. Both Yoda and Sidious fall from the bridge. They slap fight in freefall, a Yoda manages to pull back the hood and reveal that Sidious is… an empty hood.

Yoda wakes up on Moraband. He is greeted by one of the sisters who proceed to tell him there is another Skywalker. We hear familiar sounds from movie Episodes 3-6 to foreshadow what is to come.

Yoda and R2 fly back to Coruscant. There, he tells Obi-Wan and Mace Windu that he’s seen a path to victory… not for the Clone Wars, but for all time…

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