October 28, 2025 • 19 mins
For years, women in leadership have been told to “find balance” — as if the secret to thriving careers, healthy families, and full lives could fit neatly into a color-coded planner. But what if balance isn’t the goal at all? What if it’s the trap?
In this solo episode of Clover, I unpack the myth of balance — how it was sold to women as a shiny standard we could never meet, and why it’s time to let it go for good.
From early-morning Zoom calls in yesterday’s t-shirt to late-night Slack pings and school newsletters, I take you inside the messy, over-caffeinated reality of leadership and the impossible expectations women face to do it all.
We’ll dig into:
- Why “balance” is often just code for “don’t let anything slip.”
- The difference between balance and clarity — and why clarity wins every time.
- How real women leaders decide what to protect, what to let go of, and what truly matters.
- Five practical strategies to ditch the balance myth and lead with intention instead.
This episode is for every woman who’s ever felt like she’s failing at balance — when in reality, she’s succeeding at prioritizing what matters most.
Because the truth is, you’re not here to do it all. You’re here to lead — clearly, powerfully, and unapologetically.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Announcer,
Erin Geiger (00:10):
hello and welcome back to Clover. This week's
episode is all about the myth ofbalance. I know for many of you,
balance is a four letter wordthat is really a 1234567, letter
word. So let me walk you througha day that could be really any
time during my career that I'monly slightly embarrassed to
(00:31):
admit is not really unusual. Itcould start with a 7:30am zoom,
call camera off, because I'mstill in like, let's say I don't
know an old concert t shirt. Ihave a green day one that I
really love, hair in a bun thatI might have slept in holding a
mug of tea. I prefer Chai thatI'll probably reheat three times
but never actually finish. Sowhile my team is doing their
(00:54):
stand up, I'm texting back apediatrician about a late last
minute schedule. I might beanswering a Slack ping from a VP
who absolutely could haveemailed and side eyeing the
school newsletter my inbox thatsays we still need four more
parents to volunteer for the funrun. So by 9am I've already
failed that balance. I didn'tmeditate, I didn't journal, I
(01:16):
didn't make the protein packedbreakfast. I saw where I would
eat instead of cold stringcheese. I didn't respond to that
one lingering email from my bossthat now feels radioactive, and
yet, I've somehow managed tolead a team, manage a few
clients, triage a familycalendar and figure out how to
move a dentist appointmentagain, because the q3 strategy
meeting got moved again. Doesthat sound familiar? Welcome to
(01:38):
leadership in the real world.
It's messy, it's reactive, it'sprobably over caffeinated and
nothing close to the wordbalanced. And honestly, I'm done
pretending balance is even thegoal. So let's just say it out
loud. Balance is a myth. It's abranding exercise. It's a pretty
word slapped on an impossiblestandard. It's the glossy cover
of a magazine that tells you howto manage it all with 12 time
(02:00):
blocking hacks and a face maskthat costs more than your weekly
groceries. It's the corporateplatitude tossed around and all
hands meetings right before theygive you five new projects and a
30 minute wellness setup numberon your lunch break balance, as
it's been sold to us, it couldbe seen as a gas light, quite
honestly, and women, especiallywomen in leadership, are the
(02:23):
primary targets we're told tostrive for it, schedule it,
meditate our way into it. But noone tells us what it actually
looks like when you're afounder, a director, senior
exec, or a single mom trying tojuggle slack notifications and
daycare pickup without losingyour mind. We're expected to
leave like we don't have apersonal life, and parent like
(02:45):
we don't have a professionalone, and if we drop any ball
along the way, we feel likewe've failed. I've been in rooms
where women leaders apologize,actually apologize for being
late to a meeting they scheduledbecause they were helping their
team. I've seen execs give upPTO because they're afraid
taking time off will make themlook uncommitted. I've sat
(03:08):
across from brilliant, burnt outwomen who asked me if they're
doing something wrong becausethey can't find balance. So let
me say this, clearly you're notdoing it wrong. The system is
just not set up for you tosucceed at everything all the
time with a smile on your faceand a salad in your lunch bag.
And more importantly, balanceisn't the prize. It really could
(03:30):
be seen as the trap. So intoday's episode, we're going to
unpack the whole thing. Not justtalk about the myth of how
balance hurts us, but get realabout what women in leadership
actually prioritize when they'rethriving, not what the LinkedIn
influencers say, not what theglossy profiles of female CEOs
edited by their PR team say, I'mtalking about the unfiltered
(03:53):
version. We'll dig into howwomen leaders decide where their
time really goes, what theyprotect, what they're okay,
letting drop, and how they leadteams, raise families, build
companies and live lives withouttrying to pretend it's all
perfectly balanced. Because ifyou've ever looked at your
calendar and thought, I'mholding it all together with
duct tape and dry shampoo,you're not alone and you're not
(04:15):
failing and you're notprioritizing incorrectly, and
that's what real leadershiplooks like. So let's get into
it. Let's talk about where thiswhole balance thing came from.
Because the word itself soundslovely, right? Like a yoga pose
or a clean inbox or a neutraltone living room with no clutter
and lots of natural light,serenity. Except most women I
(04:36):
know don't live in a lifestyleblog. They live in spreadsheets,
Slack channels, drop off, lines,meal prep, madness, endless
meetings and emotional labor. Noone put on the calendar, but
somehow became their job anyway.
So where did this whole balancemyth come from? It came from the
same people who sold us diet,culture, anti aging serums and
(04:58):
effortless productivity. It'scapitalism, maybe with a side of
guilt, the myth of balancestarted to show up in a big way
When more women entered theworkforce. In the 70s and 80s,
we were supposed to go to workand keep the house clean and
raise kids and smile while doingit, and instead of the system
adapting to support us, theyjust handed us a new expectation
(05:19):
to find balance translation,make it all work, but quietly
and with a really good planner.
And here's the truth, no onelikes to say out loud, balance
is often a code word for don'tlet anything slip. To be
excellent at work, be availableat home, be present,
professional, polished andpreferably not complaining. And
if you can't, well, you must notbe managing your time right.
(05:41):
Maybe you need to wake upearlier. Maybe you need to do
more self care. Maybe you shouldjust try harder to be less
overwhelmed. It's not justcondescending. It's weaponized
wellness, and it's exhausting,especially for women in
leadership, because not only arewe juggling all the regular life
stuff, we're also managingteams, making decisions that
affect people's livelihoods, andoften doing it in environments
(06:04):
where we're still outnumbered orunderestimated. Let me tell you
how this shows up in real life.
You're in back to back meetingsall day, finally getting five
minutes to pee and check yourtext and there's a message from
your kids' school asking if youcan just swing by to help with
something because you're so goodat organizing things cool. Love
that for me, or you're reading ahigh stakes project, leading
(06:27):
high stakes project and crushingit, but someone still mentions
that you seem a littledistracted lately because you
didn't attend a happy hour ormissed a Slack thread about team
trivia night. You're expected toperform at full throttle
professionally, be totallypresent personally and still
show up like you've got it allbalanced. It's unrealistic, it's
unfair, and it's boring, right?
Because the truth is, no one, noman, no woman, no non binary.
(06:50):
Magical Unicorn is balancing allof it all the time. We're all
making trade offs every day,consciously or not. The real
harm of the balance myth is thatit makes us feel like we're
doing something wrong when we'reactually when we're actually
making really smart, value baseddecisions. You chose to stay
late and finish that deck sodinner was frozen pizza. That's
not failure. That's a choice.
(07:12):
You skipped a networking eventbecause you wanted to lay in bed
and watch trash TV and sweatpants. Again, a choice. You said
no to a stretch assignmentbecause her calendar already
looks like a game of Tetris onfire. That's not a missed
opportunity. That's capacitymanagement. But the myth of
balance doesn't leave room forthat. It tells you you should be
able to do all of it seamlesslywith dewy skin and a great
(07:35):
attitude. And if you can't, thensomething must be wrong with
you. That's the scam. So let'sjust clear the air right now.
You're not broken, you're notbad at balance, you're not
behind. You're living in a worldthat still hasn't figured out
how to support ambitious womenwith complex lives, and the
sooner we let go of the lie thatwe're supposed to juggle
everything perfectly, the soonerwe can start making smarter,
(07:55):
more sustainable choices withoutguilt, because balance might
look at on an Instagraminfographic, but in real life,
what we're actually aiming foris clarity, capacity,
intentional trade offs, andthose don't come from a color
coded planner. They come fromknowing what matters and what
you're willing to let go of. Solet's talk about what actually
matters when you're leading, notjust surviving, and you finally
(08:18):
accepted that balance isn't thegoal, because once you stop
trying to make your life looksymmetrical, you get to make it
intentional. And that's whenthings start to shift from
burnout to clarity, from chaosto something that looks like
alignment, not ease,necessarily, but alignment. I've
talked to dozens, probablyhundreds, of women in
leadership, and the through lineisn't that they've hacked some
(08:40):
magical version of balance isthat they figured out what to
prioritize on purpose. So let'swalk through a few of the things
I hear over and over again, thestuff women leaders actually
double down on when they'rethriving. Number one, energy
over time. First big mindsetshift is prioritizing energy,
not time. We're taught to obsessover our calendars, time
(09:02):
blocking, optimizing, stackingmeetings, like we're playing
scheduled Jenga. But time is afixed resource. Energy is not it
ebbs and it flows. It's affectedby sleep, by stress, by that
weird, offhand comment someonemade in a meeting three days ago
that you still haven't let goof. Smart Women Leaders know
this, they ask, what drains me,what fuels me, what deserves my
(09:24):
best energy and what can't getmy good enough. It's not about
doing more with less. It's aboutdoing the right things with the
energy you actually have. Here'sa pro tip, block your highest
energy hour of the day and useit for what matters most, not
just what's loudest. Number two,quality over quantity. Let's
(09:46):
kill the myth of doingeverything well. Women in
Leadership don't do everything.
They do the right things withexcellence, whether it's
meetings, clients, time withfamily or friendships, what
matters is the depth, not thevolume. That might mean a.
Attending fewer meetings, butbeing fully present in the ones
that count, spending one techfree hour with your kid instead
of three distracted ones sayingno to one more coffee date that
(10:08):
feels like a drain and yes tothe one friend who always tells
you the truth. Women leaderslearn how to edit. They know
their attention is currency, andthey stop handing it out like
couponsand then number three, one is
boundaries over availability.
You cannot lead from burnout,and if your calendar looks like
(10:28):
a crime scene every week, it'sprobably not your to do list.
It's your lack of boundaries.
Women leaders who last know howto say no, not because they're
mean or cold or unhelpful, butbecause they understand their
capacity and boundaries aren'tjust about protecting your
peace. They're about protectingyour impact. That means you
don't answer emails at 10pmunless you choose to. You
decline meetings withoutagendas. You don't justify
(10:51):
saying no with a monolog aboutyour personal life. That doesn't
work for me. Is enough.
Boundaries create clarity, andclarity creates trust, and trust
makes you a stronger leader.
Number four, alignment overachievement. This one's big.
When you're climbing, it's easyto chase achievement, titles,
promotions, accolades. It's whatwe've been conditioned to do,
(11:12):
checks all the boxes. But thewomen who feel the most powerful
in their roles, they don't justask what's next. They ask, Does
this align with who I am andwhat I want? Now, because
Leadership isn't just what youdo, it's really about how much
of you is actually in it, andsometimes alignment means
stepping away from a role thatlooks great on paper. Sometimes
(11:33):
it means saying no to a seat atthe table that no longer fits
the way you want to lead.
Sometimes it means choosingrests instead of another stretch
goal. And it's not alwaysglamorous, but it's real.
Alignment doesn't always feelexciting. Sometimes just feels
like breathing easier. So thethrough line is women leaders
aren't doing it all. They'rechoosing what to do and what to
(11:55):
let go of with intention.
They've swapped guilt fordiscernment. They've stopped
asking, How do I do everything?
And started asking, what's worthdoing? Well, they're not
striving for balance. They'restriving for clarity. Then
they've learned that droppingthe ball doesn't mean you
failed. It means you're human,you're strategic. You decided
which balls are rubber and whichones are glass. So if balance is
(12:17):
the scam and clarity is the realgoal, what does it actually look
like in practice. I mean, itsounds great to say I prioritize
energy over time, or I lead withalignment, but when your
calendar looks like a game ofWhack a Mole, and your inbox has
become its own species, you needsomething concrete. So let's
talk about five strategies toditch this balance myth. So
number one is redefine balanceas integration, not perfection.
(12:40):
So first we need to reclaim theword. Let's stop thinking of
balance as the perfectly dividedpie chart where your career,
family, health, hobbies,friendships and hydration all
get exactly 16.6% of you everyday, forever. That's nonsense.
Instead think of integration.
What parts of your life supporteach other? Where can you
combine instead of divide? Whatseason are you in and how can
(13:00):
your priorities shiftaccordingly? Some weeks your
work is in launch mode andyou're all in other weeks, you
pull back and focus more on homeor health or creativity. That's
not failure. That's strategy.
Balance says do it all.
Integration says do what mattersmost right now and adjust when
it doesn't. Second one isidentify your non negotiables.
This one's personal andpowerful. Your non negotiables
(13:21):
are the things that, no matterhow chaotic life gets, you
protect. These are the anchorsof your leadership and your
life. For me, it's things liketime alone in the morning before
I pour into anyone else,creative time without meetings
because I'm useless if I'm justin reactive mode, phone off at
dinner, or at least face downand guilty about it. Your list
(13:42):
might include movement therapy,family dinners, creative play,
spiritual practice, or just notbeing in meetings past 4pm on
Fridays. Whatever it is, nameit, write it down, put it on
your calendar like it's sacred,because it really is. Number
Three practice, saying nowithout the apology paragraph.
So let's talk boundaries.
(14:02):
Boundaries aren't just aboutsaying no, they're about what
you say yes to instead, here's aphrase I love that doesn't work
for me right now, not I'm sosorry. I just have a lot going
on, and I really wish I couldhelp but not. Maybe next time,
let me know if you still needme. Just that doesn't work for
me right now, period. Nojustification, no emotional
labor, no guilt trip. A simplesentence is a leadership skill,
(14:26):
so use it number four, use the8020 rule like a ladder, not a
martyr. You've probably heard ofthe Pareto Principle. 80% of
your results come from 20% ofyour efforts. Cool. Use that
like a laser pointer. What arethe 20% of actions that drive
the biggest impact in your work,your leadership, your life,
which meetings actually movethings forward, what tasks are
(14:46):
truly tied to your goals andwhat's just busy work? Who are
the one to two people who alwayspour energy into you versus
drain it? Start filteringeverything through that lens.
Ask, is this high impact or justhigh effort? And then act in
core. Finally, number five, letthe ball drop. On purpose. This
might be the most radical thingI say today. Let the ball drop.
(15:07):
Not every ball is glass, someare rubber. They'll bounce. Not
every opportunity is urgent. Notevery ask deserves your Yes, not
every moment needs yourperfection. Sometimes clarity
means choosing what not to doand yes, someone might be
disappointed. Someone mightthink you're not doing at all.
Someone might even judge you forbeing less available than you
used to be. Let them theirexpectations are not your
(15:27):
priority. Look leading withclarity instead of balance.
Doesn't mean you've got to allfigure it out. It doesn't mean
your calendar is pristine, oryour house is Instagram worthy.
It just means you're makingdecisions based on what actually
matters, not what looks good orkeeps everyone else happy, and
that kind of leadership doesn'tburn out, actually builds. So I
hope you take these, you know,musings to heart, and like once
(15:52):
you've ditched the myth we'vereclaimed our priorities, we'll
let some of those rubber ballsbounce right? Let's talk about
the ripple effect, because thisisn't just about you. When you
lead with clarity, when you stopchasing balance and start making
intentional, human, sustainabledecisions, you give other women
permission to do the same, yourchoices signal what's normal,
what's allowed and respected,and that's leadership in its
(16:15):
most powerful form. We've allseen what happens when leaders
pretend they're perfectlybalanced. Teams feel pressure to
over perform and under rest.
Burnout becomes a badge ofhonor. Taking PTO becomes a sign
of weakness. Everyone's smilingthrough gritted teeth and
answering emails at midnight,because that's just how things
are done. But when a woman inleadership says, No, I don't do
back to back meetings all day,no, I protect my time for deep
(16:37):
work and deep rest, no, I won'tapologize for being unavailable
when I'm with my family. Itshifts the room, because that's
not flakiness, that's clarity,that's the kind of leadership
that creates culture, not justdeliverables. So think about it
this way, when you modelboundaries, your team feels safe
setting their own. When you dropthe balance performance, your
colleagues feel less pressure topretend. When you lead from
(16:59):
alignment, you inspire trust,not just compliance. That's how
you build healthy teams. That'show you build resilient
organizations, and that's howyou build careers that don't
chew people up and spit themout. And no, it won't always be
easy. You will have momentswhere you feel guilty, where you
wonder if you're doing enough,or where someone expects you to
be available, 24/7, and you haveto disappoint them. Or some guy
(17:21):
named Greg tells you he justmanages his time better, and you
want to scream into a throwpillow. But you also have
moments where someone on yourteam says, Hey, I noticed you
blocked him off to workuninterrupted, and I started
doing that too. Or thanks forencouraging us to take real
vacations. I finally did that'simpact, because balance was
never the goal. Sustainabilityis clarity is showing up with a
(17:44):
whole human who makes smart,value based decisions. That's
really the work, and that work,especially when done publicly,
consistently andunapologetically, is the work
that changes the system. So thenext time someone asks you how
you balance it all, you have myfull permission to laugh and
say, Oh, I don't. I justprioritize like hell, and I'm
really good at letting go of therest, because you're not here to
(18:06):
do it all. You're here to lead.
So here's the big truth I wantyou to walk away with today.
You're not feeling at balance.
You're succeeding atprioritizing even when it's
messy and imperfect and itdoesn't look professional on the
outside, because the women Iadmire most in leadership are
not juggling everythingflawlessly. They're letting go.
They're saying no, they'redropping the balls that don't
(18:27):
matter and they're catching theones that do. They've stopped
chasing balance, and theystarted chasing clarity. And
that's your invitation today.
Here's your challenge. What onething this week can you let go
of without the guilt. It couldbe a task, a meeting, a self
imposed rule, a piece ofemotional labor you've been
carrying that it's even yours.
Let it drop. Watch what happens.
(18:50):
Spoiler alert, the world willkeep spinning and ask yourself,
What's one thing you're going toprotect like it's sacred, your
workout, your family, dinner,two uninterrupted hours of work
time. Protect it like the CEO ofyour life. You don't owe anyone
balance. You owe yourself.
Clarity. If this episoderesonated, send it to a woman
who needs to hear that she's notbehind. She's just building her
(19:11):
leadership on her own terms. Andnext time on clover, we're going
to dig into something I knowyou've experienced, what it
means to be the only woman inthe room and how to lead when
all eyes are on you. It's moreabout being ready than it is
about being fearless. But untilthen, drop the guilt. Hold what
matters, and lead like it'syours, because it is you.
Announcer,
Erin Geiger (00:10):
hello and welcome back to Clover. This week's
episode is all about the myth ofbalance. I know for many of you,
balance is a four letter wordthat is really a 1234567, letter
word. So let me walk you througha day that could be really any
time during my career that I'monly slightly embarrassed to
(00:31):
admit is not really unusual. Itcould start with a 7:30am zoom,
call camera off, because I'mstill in like, let's say I don't
know an old concert t shirt. Ihave a green day one that I
really love, hair in a bun thatI might have slept in holding a
mug of tea. I prefer Chai thatI'll probably reheat three times
but never actually finish. Sowhile my team is doing their
(00:54):
stand up, I'm texting back apediatrician about a late last
minute schedule. I might beanswering a Slack ping from a VP
who absolutely could haveemailed and side eyeing the
school newsletter my inbox thatsays we still need four more
parents to volunteer for the funrun. So by 9am I've already
failed that balance. I didn'tmeditate, I didn't journal, I
(01:16):
didn't make the protein packedbreakfast. I saw where I would
eat instead of cold stringcheese. I didn't respond to that
one lingering email from my bossthat now feels radioactive, and
yet, I've somehow managed tolead a team, manage a few
clients, triage a familycalendar and figure out how to
move a dentist appointmentagain, because the q3 strategy
meeting got moved again. Doesthat sound familiar? Welcome to
(01:38):
leadership in the real world.
It's messy, it's reactive, it'sprobably over caffeinated and
nothing close to the wordbalanced. And honestly, I'm done
pretending balance is even thegoal. So let's just say it out
loud. Balance is a myth. It's abranding exercise. It's a pretty
word slapped on an impossiblestandard. It's the glossy cover
of a magazine that tells you howto manage it all with 12 time
(02:00):
blocking hacks and a face maskthat costs more than your weekly
groceries. It's the corporateplatitude tossed around and all
hands meetings right before theygive you five new projects and a
30 minute wellness setup numberon your lunch break balance, as
it's been sold to us, it couldbe seen as a gas light, quite
honestly, and women, especiallywomen in leadership, are the
(02:23):
primary targets we're told tostrive for it, schedule it,
meditate our way into it. But noone tells us what it actually
looks like when you're afounder, a director, senior
exec, or a single mom trying tojuggle slack notifications and
daycare pickup without losingyour mind. We're expected to
leave like we don't have apersonal life, and parent like
(02:45):
we don't have a professionalone, and if we drop any ball
along the way, we feel likewe've failed. I've been in rooms
where women leaders apologize,actually apologize for being
late to a meeting they scheduledbecause they were helping their
team. I've seen execs give upPTO because they're afraid
taking time off will make themlook uncommitted. I've sat
(03:08):
across from brilliant, burnt outwomen who asked me if they're
doing something wrong becausethey can't find balance. So let
me say this, clearly you're notdoing it wrong. The system is
just not set up for you tosucceed at everything all the
time with a smile on your faceand a salad in your lunch bag.
And more importantly, balanceisn't the prize. It really could
(03:30):
be seen as the trap. So intoday's episode, we're going to
unpack the whole thing. Not justtalk about the myth of how
balance hurts us, but get realabout what women in leadership
actually prioritize when they'rethriving, not what the LinkedIn
influencers say, not what theglossy profiles of female CEOs
edited by their PR team say, I'mtalking about the unfiltered
(03:53):
version. We'll dig into howwomen leaders decide where their
time really goes, what theyprotect, what they're okay,
letting drop, and how they leadteams, raise families, build
companies and live lives withouttrying to pretend it's all
perfectly balanced. Because ifyou've ever looked at your
calendar and thought, I'mholding it all together with
duct tape and dry shampoo,you're not alone and you're not
(04:15):
failing and you're notprioritizing incorrectly, and
that's what real leadershiplooks like. So let's get into
it. Let's talk about where thiswhole balance thing came from.
Because the word itself soundslovely, right? Like a yoga pose
or a clean inbox or a neutraltone living room with no clutter
and lots of natural light,serenity. Except most women I
(04:36):
know don't live in a lifestyleblog. They live in spreadsheets,
Slack channels, drop off, lines,meal prep, madness, endless
meetings and emotional labor. Noone put on the calendar, but
somehow became their job anyway.
So where did this whole balancemyth come from? It came from the
same people who sold us diet,culture, anti aging serums and
(04:58):
effortless productivity. It'scapitalism, maybe with a side of
guilt, the myth of balancestarted to show up in a big way
When more women entered theworkforce. In the 70s and 80s,
we were supposed to go to workand keep the house clean and
raise kids and smile while doingit, and instead of the system
adapting to support us, theyjust handed us a new expectation
(05:19):
to find balance translation,make it all work, but quietly
and with a really good planner.
And here's the truth, no onelikes to say out loud, balance
is often a code word for don'tlet anything slip. To be
excellent at work, be availableat home, be present,
professional, polished andpreferably not complaining. And
if you can't, well, you must notbe managing your time right.
(05:41):
Maybe you need to wake upearlier. Maybe you need to do
more self care. Maybe you shouldjust try harder to be less
overwhelmed. It's not justcondescending. It's weaponized
wellness, and it's exhausting,especially for women in
leadership, because not only arewe juggling all the regular life
stuff, we're also managingteams, making decisions that
affect people's livelihoods, andoften doing it in environments
(06:04):
where we're still outnumbered orunderestimated. Let me tell you
how this shows up in real life.
You're in back to back meetingsall day, finally getting five
minutes to pee and check yourtext and there's a message from
your kids' school asking if youcan just swing by to help with
something because you're so goodat organizing things cool. Love
that for me, or you're reading ahigh stakes project, leading
(06:27):
high stakes project and crushingit, but someone still mentions
that you seem a littledistracted lately because you
didn't attend a happy hour ormissed a Slack thread about team
trivia night. You're expected toperform at full throttle
professionally, be totallypresent personally and still
show up like you've got it allbalanced. It's unrealistic, it's
unfair, and it's boring, right?
Because the truth is, no one, noman, no woman, no non binary.
(06:50):
Magical Unicorn is balancing allof it all the time. We're all
making trade offs every day,consciously or not. The real
harm of the balance myth is thatit makes us feel like we're
doing something wrong when we'reactually when we're actually
making really smart, value baseddecisions. You chose to stay
late and finish that deck sodinner was frozen pizza. That's
not failure. That's a choice.
(07:12):
You skipped a networking eventbecause you wanted to lay in bed
and watch trash TV and sweatpants. Again, a choice. You said
no to a stretch assignmentbecause her calendar already
looks like a game of Tetris onfire. That's not a missed
opportunity. That's capacitymanagement. But the myth of
balance doesn't leave room forthat. It tells you you should be
able to do all of it seamlesslywith dewy skin and a great
(07:35):
attitude. And if you can't, thensomething must be wrong with
you. That's the scam. So let'sjust clear the air right now.
You're not broken, you're notbad at balance, you're not
behind. You're living in a worldthat still hasn't figured out
how to support ambitious womenwith complex lives, and the
sooner we let go of the lie thatwe're supposed to juggle
everything perfectly, the soonerwe can start making smarter,
(07:55):
more sustainable choices withoutguilt, because balance might
look at on an Instagraminfographic, but in real life,
what we're actually aiming foris clarity, capacity,
intentional trade offs, andthose don't come from a color
coded planner. They come fromknowing what matters and what
you're willing to let go of. Solet's talk about what actually
matters when you're leading, notjust surviving, and you finally
(08:18):
accepted that balance isn't thegoal, because once you stop
trying to make your life looksymmetrical, you get to make it
intentional. And that's whenthings start to shift from
burnout to clarity, from chaosto something that looks like
alignment, not ease,necessarily, but alignment. I've
talked to dozens, probablyhundreds, of women in
leadership, and the through lineisn't that they've hacked some
(08:40):
magical version of balance isthat they figured out what to
prioritize on purpose. So let'swalk through a few of the things
I hear over and over again, thestuff women leaders actually
double down on when they'rethriving. Number one, energy
over time. First big mindsetshift is prioritizing energy,
not time. We're taught to obsessover our calendars, time
(09:02):
blocking, optimizing, stackingmeetings, like we're playing
scheduled Jenga. But time is afixed resource. Energy is not it
ebbs and it flows. It's affectedby sleep, by stress, by that
weird, offhand comment someonemade in a meeting three days ago
that you still haven't let goof. Smart Women Leaders know
this, they ask, what drains me,what fuels me, what deserves my
(09:24):
best energy and what can't getmy good enough. It's not about
doing more with less. It's aboutdoing the right things with the
energy you actually have. Here'sa pro tip, block your highest
energy hour of the day and useit for what matters most, not
just what's loudest. Number two,quality over quantity. Let's
(09:46):
kill the myth of doingeverything well. Women in
Leadership don't do everything.
They do the right things withexcellence, whether it's
meetings, clients, time withfamily or friendships, what
matters is the depth, not thevolume. That might mean a.
Attending fewer meetings, butbeing fully present in the ones
that count, spending one techfree hour with your kid instead
of three distracted ones sayingno to one more coffee date that
(10:08):
feels like a drain and yes tothe one friend who always tells
you the truth. Women leaderslearn how to edit. They know
their attention is currency, andthey stop handing it out like
couponsand then number three, one is
boundaries over availability.
You cannot lead from burnout,and if your calendar looks like
(10:28):
a crime scene every week, it'sprobably not your to do list.
It's your lack of boundaries.
Women leaders who last know howto say no, not because they're
mean or cold or unhelpful, butbecause they understand their
capacity and boundaries aren'tjust about protecting your
peace. They're about protectingyour impact. That means you
don't answer emails at 10pmunless you choose to. You
decline meetings withoutagendas. You don't justify
(10:51):
saying no with a monolog aboutyour personal life. That doesn't
work for me. Is enough.
Boundaries create clarity, andclarity creates trust, and trust
makes you a stronger leader.
Number four, alignment overachievement. This one's big.
When you're climbing, it's easyto chase achievement, titles,
promotions, accolades. It's whatwe've been conditioned to do,
(11:12):
checks all the boxes. But thewomen who feel the most powerful
in their roles, they don't justask what's next. They ask, Does
this align with who I am andwhat I want? Now, because
Leadership isn't just what youdo, it's really about how much
of you is actually in it, andsometimes alignment means
stepping away from a role thatlooks great on paper. Sometimes
(11:33):
it means saying no to a seat atthe table that no longer fits
the way you want to lead.
Sometimes it means choosingrests instead of another stretch
goal. And it's not alwaysglamorous, but it's real.
Alignment doesn't always feelexciting. Sometimes just feels
like breathing easier. So thethrough line is women leaders
aren't doing it all. They'rechoosing what to do and what to
(11:55):
let go of with intention.
They've swapped guilt fordiscernment. They've stopped
asking, How do I do everything?
And started asking, what's worthdoing? Well, they're not
striving for balance. They'restriving for clarity. Then
they've learned that droppingthe ball doesn't mean you
failed. It means you're human,you're strategic. You decided
which balls are rubber and whichones are glass. So if balance is
(12:17):
the scam and clarity is the realgoal, what does it actually look
like in practice. I mean, itsounds great to say I prioritize
energy over time, or I lead withalignment, but when your
calendar looks like a game ofWhack a Mole, and your inbox has
become its own species, you needsomething concrete. So let's
talk about five strategies toditch this balance myth. So
number one is redefine balanceas integration, not perfection.
(12:40):
So first we need to reclaim theword. Let's stop thinking of
balance as the perfectly dividedpie chart where your career,
family, health, hobbies,friendships and hydration all
get exactly 16.6% of you everyday, forever. That's nonsense.
Instead think of integration.
What parts of your life supporteach other? Where can you
combine instead of divide? Whatseason are you in and how can
(13:00):
your priorities shiftaccordingly? Some weeks your
work is in launch mode andyou're all in other weeks, you
pull back and focus more on homeor health or creativity. That's
not failure. That's strategy.
Balance says do it all.
Integration says do what mattersmost right now and adjust when
it doesn't. Second one isidentify your non negotiables.
This one's personal andpowerful. Your non negotiables
(13:21):
are the things that, no matterhow chaotic life gets, you
protect. These are the anchorsof your leadership and your
life. For me, it's things liketime alone in the morning before
I pour into anyone else,creative time without meetings
because I'm useless if I'm justin reactive mode, phone off at
dinner, or at least face downand guilty about it. Your list
(13:42):
might include movement therapy,family dinners, creative play,
spiritual practice, or just notbeing in meetings past 4pm on
Fridays. Whatever it is, nameit, write it down, put it on
your calendar like it's sacred,because it really is. Number
Three practice, saying nowithout the apology paragraph.
So let's talk boundaries.
(14:02):
Boundaries aren't just aboutsaying no, they're about what
you say yes to instead, here's aphrase I love that doesn't work
for me right now, not I'm sosorry. I just have a lot going
on, and I really wish I couldhelp but not. Maybe next time,
let me know if you still needme. Just that doesn't work for
me right now, period. Nojustification, no emotional
labor, no guilt trip. A simplesentence is a leadership skill,
(14:26):
so use it number four, use the8020 rule like a ladder, not a
martyr. You've probably heard ofthe Pareto Principle. 80% of
your results come from 20% ofyour efforts. Cool. Use that
like a laser pointer. What arethe 20% of actions that drive
the biggest impact in your work,your leadership, your life,
which meetings actually movethings forward, what tasks are
(14:46):
truly tied to your goals andwhat's just busy work? Who are
the one to two people who alwayspour energy into you versus
drain it? Start filteringeverything through that lens.
Ask, is this high impact or justhigh effort? And then act in
core. Finally, number five, letthe ball drop. On purpose. This
might be the most radical thingI say today. Let the ball drop.
(15:07):
Not every ball is glass, someare rubber. They'll bounce. Not
every opportunity is urgent. Notevery ask deserves your Yes, not
every moment needs yourperfection. Sometimes clarity
means choosing what not to doand yes, someone might be
disappointed. Someone mightthink you're not doing at all.
Someone might even judge you forbeing less available than you
used to be. Let them theirexpectations are not your
(15:27):
priority. Look leading withclarity instead of balance.
Doesn't mean you've got to allfigure it out. It doesn't mean
your calendar is pristine, oryour house is Instagram worthy.
It just means you're makingdecisions based on what actually
matters, not what looks good orkeeps everyone else happy, and
that kind of leadership doesn'tburn out, actually builds. So I
hope you take these, you know,musings to heart, and like once
(15:52):
you've ditched the myth we'vereclaimed our priorities, we'll
let some of those rubber ballsbounce right? Let's talk about
the ripple effect, because thisisn't just about you. When you
lead with clarity, when you stopchasing balance and start making
intentional, human, sustainabledecisions, you give other women
permission to do the same, yourchoices signal what's normal,
what's allowed and respected,and that's leadership in its
(16:15):
most powerful form. We've allseen what happens when leaders
pretend they're perfectlybalanced. Teams feel pressure to
over perform and under rest.
Burnout becomes a badge ofhonor. Taking PTO becomes a sign
of weakness. Everyone's smilingthrough gritted teeth and
answering emails at midnight,because that's just how things
are done. But when a woman inleadership says, No, I don't do
back to back meetings all day,no, I protect my time for deep
(16:37):
work and deep rest, no, I won'tapologize for being unavailable
when I'm with my family. Itshifts the room, because that's
not flakiness, that's clarity,that's the kind of leadership
that creates culture, not justdeliverables. So think about it
this way, when you modelboundaries, your team feels safe
setting their own. When you dropthe balance performance, your
colleagues feel less pressure topretend. When you lead from
(16:59):
alignment, you inspire trust,not just compliance. That's how
you build healthy teams. That'show you build resilient
organizations, and that's howyou build careers that don't
chew people up and spit themout. And no, it won't always be
easy. You will have momentswhere you feel guilty, where you
wonder if you're doing enough,or where someone expects you to
be available, 24/7, and you haveto disappoint them. Or some guy
(17:21):
named Greg tells you he justmanages his time better, and you
want to scream into a throwpillow. But you also have
moments where someone on yourteam says, Hey, I noticed you
blocked him off to workuninterrupted, and I started
doing that too. Or thanks forencouraging us to take real
vacations. I finally did that'simpact, because balance was
never the goal. Sustainabilityis clarity is showing up with a
(17:44):
whole human who makes smart,value based decisions. That's
really the work, and that work,especially when done publicly,
consistently andunapologetically, is the work
that changes the system. So thenext time someone asks you how
you balance it all, you have myfull permission to laugh and
say, Oh, I don't. I justprioritize like hell, and I'm
really good at letting go of therest, because you're not here to
(18:06):
do it all. You're here to lead.
So here's the big truth I wantyou to walk away with today.
You're not feeling at balance.
You're succeeding atprioritizing even when it's
messy and imperfect and itdoesn't look professional on the
outside, because the women Iadmire most in leadership are
not juggling everythingflawlessly. They're letting go.
They're saying no, they'redropping the balls that don't
(18:27):
matter and they're catching theones that do. They've stopped
chasing balance, and theystarted chasing clarity. And
that's your invitation today.
Here's your challenge. What onething this week can you let go
of without the guilt. It couldbe a task, a meeting, a self
imposed rule, a piece ofemotional labor you've been
carrying that it's even yours.
Let it drop. Watch what happens.
(18:50):
Spoiler alert, the world willkeep spinning and ask yourself,
What's one thing you're going toprotect like it's sacred, your
workout, your family, dinner,two uninterrupted hours of work
time. Protect it like the CEO ofyour life. You don't owe anyone
balance. You owe yourself.
Clarity. If this episoderesonated, send it to a woman
who needs to hear that she's notbehind. She's just building her
(19:11):
leadership on her own terms. Andnext time on clover, we're going
to dig into something I knowyou've experienced, what it
means to be the only woman inthe room and how to lead when
all eyes are on you. It's moreabout being ready than it is
about being fearless. But untilthen, drop the guilt. Hold what
matters, and lead like it'syours, because it is you.
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