The Dark Side | #ClownCollegeComedyPodcast | Ep 43 W/ Jake Muncey - Clown College Comedy

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This week on clown college

(00:08):
Many people are in the world
How many billion so if there's
How many billion are in the world, okay
I said or trillion a trillion. He said a trillion. He said a trillion
Billion are in the world. Okay, probably what?

(00:30):
365 billion
We'll average it out to a hundred
There's seven billion people in the world. He said one trillion
Billion all that shit
No, there are a trillion people. They're when traffic bad. It's true. There's a lot of people

(01:02):
Okay, Brandon final answer how many people are in the world right now, okay, probably
96 billion
Welcome to clown college we have profound knowledge in many ways to elevate and make his own polish
So if you want to hear a little honest few takes on a ways to make it as a comic stick around for a while
If you're down to clown, we got the guests right now just to show you how

(01:25):
Let's all go to clown college baby
It's with Brandon, Wanda, Scott and JJ

(02:12):
Do that don't do that I don't support that you can't can't even not smoke for two seconds
You got a real problem
I don't like drugs. I don't do drugs. I don't support drugs right Brandon
Yeah, man, since I'm on this camera. Yeah, I don't do drugs

(02:35):
Your glasses need to be adjusted
So badly. How's it looking now? Why?
Look at the right side is two inches lower than the left side, dude. Yeah
Just like my nipples. It's like my balls man
Good that means you're fertile. Yeah, there you go. It's perfect now. Yeah, that fixed that fixed it

(02:55):
That really did you could be an optician. There's a little magic touch. Yeah, we were rolling. Hell. Yeah
It's been a crazy week, huh? Yeah, it's been fun. Who's this fucker right here?
That's the guy that's gonna beat your ass
Fuck it coming for the belt dude. I
Will have a comedian will have a comedian belt, dude

(03:17):
I still think we should do it with lightsabers, but that's just me lightsabers. Yes
Lightsaber we could get like mask or something or just like headgear
I would take a lightsaber to the face out of the pursuit of glory
I've got a nice one dude
Really? Yeah me and Charlie have a bit about this about how lightsaber technology is getting out of control

(03:38):
So like nowadays if you just like saw somebody with one of those Instagram lightsabers, you'd be like, whoa, dude
Yeah, I've got like a 350 dollar one. That's too much
You were 15
Too much
You're 28 talking about fighting you didn't have parents dude, like you had a $300

(04:04):
$350 lightsaber lit up and everything you didn't have to press that button if fucking better light
What's the first part of the word lightsaber?
Just pop out like a dick or something
Like
Those little ones the cheap ones yeah, so you're talking about fighting with the just light

(04:31):
Sounds gay when you say it like that
Fighting I didn't know Star Wars was gay. The bullets are light too. That's crazy. They're not gonna shoot
I saw this fucking water gun on Instagram
Today actually it shoots like it has a light on then and it looks like actual like

(04:52):
Star Wars
Laser bullets you spend too much money on that, too
Dude, I fucking feel it would come in the face if you wouldn't like it so much
Just a orange come tease me like why is it orange dude? That was the color of the light man my bed
I should have clear from all the Guthrie's do
I do shout out shout out Guthrie's do that racist guy. I was gonna say

(05:17):
They're like which one even that racist all of it. Yeah, some hospitality. It's good. I think the racism southern hospitality
No, well, yeah felt like that a little bit a little bit did it?
Yeah, I was cuz I was sitting there was so I didn't I didn't know I didn't know what was going on

(05:38):
Hey
What is it? I need to hear this story Brandon's saying I might be on the news. Okay, man
So we don't know none of us know this. All right, so what's he what happened to me on Friday because you know
He doesn't have internet. He was homeless. He was walking. So he always walks
Listen I don't know who he is, but he knows who I am

(06:00):
This dude always walks from my neighborhood and he always has like this like wife
He has a shirt that's cut out so you just see it's like sleeveless. He has walk free as a beard and white hair
And he's homeless. I remember one time he was walking through and I was trying to like be like nice to do that little southern hospitality
Oh, you know what? How are you doing today? Talk to the straight and he stopped. Oh man. I'm doing good, bro

(06:21):
Hey, thanks for checking on me. I was like, thanks may say but you know, uh
You know, I've been homeless for about three years now for real damn. He's like, yeah, man my foot
It was so bad. I had to call my brother cuz my foot got frozen then he had to saw it out for me
I was like for real. Yeah, he was like, yeah
Yeah, like I just said outside my house cuz there's black mold in there, you know, the people won't fix it for me

(06:43):
I was like really okay. He was like, yeah, and then they keep putting setting on my food
Yeah, man, uh, actually the police they're the devil and then they got a black guy that actually looks just like you and I was like
No
Actually, I didn't even say no I was like damn that's crazy man. He was like me for real. He's like, yeah

(07:05):
Yeah, they just sneak in there and they always spray it and then you know, uh
I'm also God's calling me right now cuz he told me that they're all Satanist
Everybody's Satanist and he's telling me that I'm going to have to kill some of these people
I like you got to kill some people he's like yes, like all the cops in Huntsville all that stuff
I'm going to have to go after them and then he was like, you know what? I like you. What's your name?
I said, oh my name's Brandon. He was like, yeah, okay Brandon

(07:26):
But let me tell you something if you ever need me and shit goes down because these cops come in everybody's house and put
Fentanyl everywhere. I'm three houses down you can come in here and we'll blow these people up together
Do you get what I'm saying? I was like, oh man, that's great. All right, and they like yeah, man shake my hands. I
Hesitated after dude, I shouldn't

(07:46):
Do he was definitely on fentanyl and I just did this still
Thank you. Still stung and shit names like a man by the way, you smoke weed knows like I
May dabble in it
It was like if you go down there, you know that cloud a store which is the store I go to every week
I was like no man never heard

(08:07):
Any made it sound like it was gold. He's like man, it'll get you. Hi you come to my house
I'll set you up. I'm like, no, I'm good now
I called my mom she was like dude that dude is crazy
Everybody's been talking about him then my uncle was talking to me told him the same shit
I was like this dude just told me that he's a prophecy to kill people man
He's like looking around like he even looked at my mom's car. I was like this your mom's car. I was like, yeah, he was like

(08:30):
mmm
Satanist I was like, what the fuck you talking about weird
Very terrifying shit like he's definitely gonna kill some people. He told me about his guns. It's weird
Yeah, I would avoid that yeah
You don't have to talk to them. I was too fucking so I was like, yeah the whole time. Oh hell yeah

(08:50):
But where does the where does the news come in?
Because I know he's going to kill some people sometime
He keeps on telling me and that's how you know, it's gonna be on the news what they might cover it up
He was talking about cops
You believe him?
He was telling me he was like he was like they're scared of me
Yeah, man, I battled them by myself with no guns. Just my hands. Yeah, whatever man. It's probably something he did

(09:13):
I
You don't say dude
Tell you where he lost me in the story. Let me let you know. So his foot froze, huh?
And he's recently homeless. Well, sir, it is August so when exactly does your feet freeze?
They said he was homeless for three years and he said he just sits outside his house cuz I got mold in it

(09:34):
He's like I got nice house. I was like, oh you gonna get a apartment. He's like, no, fuck that man. I like houses
I got a house. Oh
Who would choose a frostbite over?
so nice fucked up cuz now whenever he see me problem, but hey, man and I
Just might die
Shit that was weird

(09:56):
Just don't talk to strangers. I guess man. How the fuck are you a real person?
But that was wild as shit. I
Love you
My girl cuz I was like I was like, I don't know that's not what I would be late. I was like
Dude off what we just pull out something you know, I fucked this

(10:19):
Yeah, Brennan I want to get shot in the back I can show you how to handle that situation
So like I'm you right? So hit me with the first thing he said. Oh, hey, man. Yeah, I'm doing good
I'm doing good. It's kind of whether it's kind of hot, you know, I'm homeless have been like this for three years
I'm doing good. It is pretty hot. Hey, you take it easy

(10:40):
I'll see you brother brother
What's your name click?
I'll be here when you get back, huh?
What gone gone?
Man, I was holding on to the doors. Well that happens sometimes I
Don't think this is the police report type of dude, you know, yeah

(11:01):
Yeah, and plus how does even know I hit him do with that frozen foot? Oh, yeah
Shake a lot. I don't know maybe don't put that in the pod y'all asked him to tell the story. Yeah
Something already happened that you were saying it like something already happened
He was telling me he was trying to kill people for the like people the prophet of God

(11:22):
So he's just on drugs a homeless person on drugs. Oh, yeah. Yeah
Yeah, I like to imagine he was just playing jackpot with a bunch of kids and then he caught the ball and they were like freeze
He's just went around thinking that that's the fun version
What do you thought those were the cops like they are saying free like yeah, I scared him off when he yelled

(11:45):
Kids gonna run fucking tiny-ass demon cups, dude. That was wild as shit
Man, that was I shouldn't have shook his hand. I should have fist-bunked what we had that sitting on the fan
You probably got AIDS dude. I was thinking maybe have when he touched my baby. Yeah, that's fentanyl. You definitely
You're how did you feel after the car? Did you watch your eyes? I put some ass in time

(12:06):
You say what you drive after that had to yes
You didn't you haven't been within six feet of Athena since touching this guy. Have you? Yes
I hope you can have it do man. Damn it. Yeah
Wash my hands and stuff
And sometimes I got that you didn't wash your hands right away or did you put your you put hand sanitizer before you touch your
Stem will yes. Okay

(12:29):
It's pretty good. That's what at what point do you exit that conversation?
I know you immediately roughly when do you hop out it?
What it wouldn't even get it would it I mean it would just be like he'll come up and looking at me
I just look at him a certain way to keep him walking. Yeah when a homeless guy approaches me and Dom Dom always puts it on me
Yeah, always puts it on me

(12:49):
Like if we'll be out there smoking a homeless guy will approach us and be like y'all got cigarette masks
And I'll be like I get it from him knowing that I always get it from him
If a dude comes up for a ride Dom's just like Dom's like sorry man, I'm going that way Jake's going east
Gone he's like I can get that right with you and I'm be like man. I got a vacuum in my car

(13:13):
This actually happened. That's the dude that
Painted the thing in my house
Pass him off mm-hmm pass the rock to somebody else. I think Alex end up giving that guy a ride home. He did yeah
Okay, yeah, it was a rough time. I always feel bad about that. I'm sorry dude. I was like the hotel right there
He was like yeah, but I need to go to the gas station and then come back

(13:35):
So you want somebody take you somewhere and then bring you back now, dude
How Alex is about to be an uber x-driver in that new whip yeah, he's got that can we put a piss down right here?
He's got the short bus
Memories look at
What year 1996 see how I remember that they got the Han Solo fucking squirt gun, dude

(14:01):
That ain't got shit on the fucking thing I saw oh
shit
You guys watch Star Wars
Look at that when I saw that walk-in. I was like this is the most Asian thing I've ever seen
As it look at this fucking slick sideways to see wagon
Kill those are with that thing dude. That's nice. He's gonna go straight through the Orion

(14:31):
Oh
God dude
I get out tight that caught my eye and I the first person I thought of was you
I would think of Brandon
The joy that this vehicle brings me this I like that little fire truck would

(14:53):
Oh, yeah, I was eyeballing that this has to be like a collector's a Japanese fire truck. I like the fire truck
People do you think that the same did Fukushima dude is a negative number?
bombings of Tokyo
Those are driving around even during their emergency to that's the fucking clown college car right here

(15:19):
You could put like literally it's a clown the mobile wet t-shirt contest dude. I saw one last night. I saw one last night
Not good dude we went to we went to do a show at a biker rally in Tuscumbia
Oh, yes, the only one and

(15:42):
Lot of rebel flags dude
Lot of rebel flags and straight-up people walking around naked in leather like assless chaps tits out
multiple multiple breast available, you know
Dude, these are some of these breasts last days in the Sun, you know
They were going bad tomorrow like
This is their last chance to show off dude, and they were out and

(16:07):
They had a wet t-shirt contest with like four whores a couple of moms two biker ladies and like one beautiful
beautiful like young lady and
At first she wasn't gonna show her tits, but those bikers got aggressive
She showed him dude she did not make a good decision that night dude
We were in the middle of a field like the stars like I haven't seen in a long time

(16:31):
You could see like the Milky Way cloud zero zero light pollution
Dude, it was sick and we opened up for the Velcro pygmies and we did alright, dude
We did alright
It went good. It went good. Yeah, dude. It was a killer fucking show man one of the wildest one the wildest

(16:53):
Wildest places I've ever been you just can't do a wet t-shirt contest nowadays, man
It's it's all over everybody's Instagram story. That girl's crying. Oh, yeah, she's been crying all fucking day
I mean, yeah, I got I got I got video of it. So, you know, it's like you would never there's no way that
I'm the only one yeah, dude. I wouldn't do that again and

(17:14):
you know
Yeah, hopefully she'll be as famous as the Hawk to a whore, you know, I just want
Dude that's just that's just lightning in a slippery bottle, you know
Who's that?
Is that oh dad he just shown his tits

(17:37):
What are you doing man? Those that was these dudes are always the quality at the wet t-shirt contest was that quality?
Yeah, what?
What lumber calls thrift store their store pussy
No, I can't I just don't want to say thrift store pussy and I'll say a lot of shit

(17:59):
I said type shit at the end. Yeah, I should have pushed you type. Hey, that is a lot better. Yeah Wow. So it's not pussy type shit. You should write a song. Hell yeah, dude
football

(18:19):
Brandon over there with the Miami Vice look
Yeah with them straight glasses on oh, yeah
Yeah, yes, yes. I Miami special victims
Special is underlined
Yes, yep

(18:45):
You still you still with them still what do you competing this year? No, you would but she was working for
I was in your auntie see I had no I was just a dude making sure everything went right
That's what I say you work for. Oh, no. No, I was I was volunteered that one time with your TC. Yeah, they don't pay him
No, I went down there with some girl to look like Dora made sure that everything was good

(19:08):
She didn't run off then my friend almost got molested man
Oh fucked up my one his dude dude kept on trying to kiss him and hug him and shit up fucked up
My friend thankfully I was safe watching people
Yeah

(19:31):
He was in a situation yeah, they give you free condoms there too
That Olympian fuck village is something though, man. Oh, dude, they should just breed
They should humans Dom's been on Dom's been on this weird eugenics kick man

(19:53):
Talking about who should be fucking who that's how they made. Yeah. I mean was in the Olympic Village
They just they just you know, but they did that they didn't X2 tall-ass motherfuckers like let us you'll be the best possible player
We I don't think they were in love
You know it doesn't breathe for the children. Yeah for the future, but I don't like

(20:13):
I don't like that either breed for the children. I think that they yeah, they should never be in the same sentence together and
You breathe so you can have yeah mutated children that are better
Like Chernobyl kids
This is your German side coming out three Mile Island children Plum Island babies do

(20:36):
I don't know Fukushima babies. I knew it sure double. I knew a lady. That was a Chernobyl baby
She had one of those fucking t-rex arms, you know, yeah kind of hot. Yeah, they can be hot
They can be hot dude, you know
They just putting that out there. Yeah, what do you mean?
Cripples Cripples are

(20:57):
Deformity they are people with deformities or people really. No, they're not yeah
I
Didn't laugh I didn't I didn't let the record show I did not laugh. Yeah, dude. I
Don't know man Special Olympics. I love that. That's dope
Yeah, they couldn't they should have that for the Special Olympics the fuck village the breeding village

(21:21):
Yeah, well now you can't do that no more
they can
Well, no more I think you used to be able to but now you can't you're not gonna water down these fucking people
I do have I do have genuine questions about reproductive rights with
the mentally disabled
Yeah, I know Jake was on there

(21:48):
Clean it up. I probably shouldn't do I probably shouldn't
Because that could be about the rain man Messiah
Documentary oh, dude, I almost watched this the other night
Oh, yes, we throw that's my dude right there

(22:09):
Go to all
It was oh it just came out to February 3rd. It's not out yet. Fuck. Yeah. It's about a guy who couldn't communicate and oh
Yes, yes, this is telling me this guy's about something communication
No, he was literally nonverbal and his therapist ends up just like molesting him. Oh, no

(22:33):
Yes, she just faked this whole thing and just fucking touch
Yeah, we talked about this a while ago because my girlfriend told me about this documentary. This is fucked up
Yeah, she's like there's this guy with a hammer in this therapist. It's like some bullshit
She could have just been touching him the whole time

(22:54):
Damn yeah, you walk
No, I'm pretty sure he's he's kind of that's the angle she should have gone with I think he's veggie tails, bro
I'm always full veggie tails
But he can talk with like his mind is something
Well, it's what that's what the lady is claiming. It's something something communication
It's been proven bullshit since then but it was a respected science at the time and this lady was just touching this poor dude, bro

(23:19):
Although you know, I don't know how he felt. How does she look but then he started jerking off all the time
I think after that so he won. Yeah, he was there had to be but not until after it couldn't have been horrible
First she bit of the forbidden fruit. You just can't do that man
Something he can't get okay

(23:44):
She's fine
You were the best a to stay with the pixie cut yeah, this Starbucks barista you think this is okay good fucking time. No, I'm a man. Do we have any?
His shirts fit just like yours

(24:08):
And it's not even a specific college
College
College 20 she's still defending herself. I like that. She's holding the damn. Okay click on the picture
Brandon in the bottom right click on
Dom okay, he can move around so what exactly that's Jeremiah cotton. Yeah

(24:31):
What what exactly what exactly did she do to chocolate peanut butter Falcon
She's dude. She's they started finding like
bruises and shit on him because she's riding him like on the ground as I scratches all on his back and shit
You can't do that man. Tell it be this guy. I'm thinking she's at that. He yeah, he

(24:55):
He can't talk
He can move
Okay, his mind is all there man
Look at this it was the adult though
I mean not really you know what I mean his mind is not an adult and an average adult mind

(25:18):
Yeah, I'm trying to find the nicest way to say this you know
It's basically pedophilia. Yeah
Well you are
As you are and if you are a child in your mind, and you're asleep
It's pedophilia type shit
It is pedo type shit and it's pedo adjacent type

(25:42):
If he's 20 fucking five it's pedo type shit dude if you have the mind of a nine-year-old, but it's a guy
I
Wasn't supposed to

(26:03):
That's like a teacher mess with student
They have a ramp they have a ramp okay, yeah
With the infrastructure at their house cuz he probably can't move that way yeah, yeah
Yeah, you also can't think that well. Yeah, yeah can't consent to this fucking

(26:26):
Go through his whole life without getting done. He could do better than her
Yeah
Kmart polo on
Fine I don't like that dude. I'm not a fan of this shit. I'm beyond if you were his brother
Maybe you let that happen one time, but then you get him out his brother is involved in the thing somehow

(26:48):
I know I'm I remember bits and pieces because Maddie explained the whole thing to me, but I don't I didn't watch it myself
Look at this summary. We did talk about this
He was fucking
TikTok was upset about this man
She seems photogenically evil
I click on the reddit click on the reddit. That's where you're that's where you'll hear a fake shit

(27:09):
That sounds real that we're gonna promote okay
It says tell them you love me left a lot out should have been a serious series
No, you the spoiler man. Let's see you the spoiler dude. I bet he left a lot
It says views put in the middle
In the middle the middle

(27:31):
Oh
The middle of upper mid where you just read it right below right area. Yes, that's it I
Don't think they were able to properly tell this story in a feature length
Documentary there was so much more they could have covered you know we only see a snippet of Annie's trial
It started or it stated that all of their messages from the keyboard were saved

(27:56):
But we barely see them they barely scratch the surface of how?
Factulated communication has led to number of sexual assaults
This was a hundred percent relevant to this story or to the story and would have provided more background
They gave that rapist Anna so much airtime

(28:20):
Any hard-hitting questions like what did she do?
I mean, what does she think about double-blind experiment? I got dyslexia. I feel like
Hey, that's all right, man
I heard Morgan Freeman's voice
But that's the bullshit field is facilitated

(28:45):
It's not it's not written well, it's probably written with AI that's probably why it seems weird and
I don't know you did great great great and you know
But because it was written like that and speed which you had to read it sounded like you were like for and it sounded like
You were Russian. It sounded like we only see snippet of Anna trial is only stated in their message from keyboard

(29:07):
We've saved but barely see them. It was kind of like that. He just wanted to do is that I really did
I have a long time nobody wants to hear him anymore. Yeah
All right, we got
That was perfect

(29:28):
We gotta find something else to talk about you. We talked about this shit. What about the Victoria Secret model? Who was a retard?
Whoa, well, they first of all they made money off her so it's okay
I get it capitalism above all, but she just had Down syndrome. I think we're splitting hairs

(29:52):
Nah, I mean, I don't know dude, it's not up to me really well you could that probably could happen
I don't go to the fucking hospital. I think I'm on the way. I'm on the way dude
Yeah, I think you probably should be wearing headphones either. No, he probably shouldn't be out right now. No, I can't even see you
You should keep the sunglasses on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, but you're the light sensitivity. Yeah
I I got rear-ended by a drunk driver last night nice base

(30:18):
He hit the car behind me and like pull shotted it into my car my head went forward
Hit my occipital lobe on the back headrest turn on the lights this morning threw up everywhere
Did this motherfucker calls me last night like if nothing's wrong. He comes in the day. He's like, yeah
I probably should have went to the hospital been throwing up
I got off the phone with you and I parked my car and I started like falling asleep

(30:40):
Like I had it running in the garage
And I was like something's wrong dude, I started driving to the new ER like standalone ER
They built by my house. I went to Taco Bell instead went home called it a night
Did you have a concussion and whiplash lost to Kentucky twice?
Dude, you you were throwing up you have light sensitivity, you know, and you shouldn't have gone to sleep last night

(31:03):
Yeah, you could have really done yeah dude, but here I am bro
I live by faith not by fear
That's why I'm a white guy for Harris, all right, I'm voting for if I could
I'm I know no, I'm not these ER copays are getting out of fucking hands

(31:25):
How much I don't even know more than a hundred more than I get more than it's probably less than a lightsaber, dude
Well, yeah
Sell that thing to me dude for 200. It's only fair. Oh, he's just jealous. Yeah, he wants a little bit a little bit
How about we all get lightsaber? It's not it's not a shiny metal. Can we please?
No, I don't like I won't take part of this

(31:49):
Side of what I'll take like a green or a red lightsaber do they have green ones, too? Yeah
What are the main ones
All the color of your lightsaber is determined by the kyber crystal
They click out when you're being trained as a padawan sis always get red because they corrupt the crystal
They corrupt the crystal though, and it becomes red. It becomes red now gray Jedi's they usually have

(32:13):
Red or not red orange or yellow because they're kind of on the cusp. They're kind of like a anti-hero type shit
Yeah, and then I'm doing all the Jedi's like the scholars and the Jedi temples have yellow because it's like yeah
They're the guardians their sentinels sentinels have yellow light sabers dude and of course

(32:33):
Bitch ass what you know
Windu dude the most powerful Jedi has fucking great when dude mace Windu Samuel Jackson. Yeah, he's the most powerful Jedi
He's one of them. Yeah
Well, he got his hands cut off by Anakin Skywalker
20,000 medichlorians per cell he surprised him he surprised him

(32:57):
He surprised him. He was in the middle of something. He was fighting a Sith Lord. Yeah, dude. He was fighting palpatine
Lord yeah, look at that
In there, that's the guy that Brandon talked to outside of his house
He's gonna kill all the fucking Satanist actually he look like the dude from pineapple express, you know the one that broke his neck
Come on say, well, who looks like it? No, no, no, no, he's talking about he's talking about Danny McBride

(33:30):
No, I'm talking about the dude that the homeless guy he know
Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought you were saying to it no, no, no, Danny McBride is sitting right there. Oh
Dude how good was Talladega nights man, so good. Talladega. Nice is so good. He calls him. He's like the house is

(33:53):
Oh, I rewatch the other guys
Like nice guys, yes, I'm a more nice guys guys, too. I haven't seen it. What I haven't seen nice

(34:14):
It's tight
Right there is the shit. No, it looks good as fuck
I mean
Yes, dude, I'd fuck it. Okay. It's like they're doing a cover for a porn studio thing too. So it's nice
I can see the sexual the bill for both. Yeah, you see that little that little kid right there on the bicycle

(34:35):
You would like it Jake. He talks. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, you gonna love him. Jay. Oh, of course. Yeah, y'all got the same hair
Must be a real charming lad. That's how Ryan Gosling is dressed. That's how Jake thinks he looks
with the European cut
That is how I hold a cigarette
Russell Crowe was wearing that same size outfit. That's what I look like Russell Crowe wearing Ryan Gosling's outfit

(35:06):
Yeah, yeah
Yeah with the broke that the bandage on the arm and everything it's scarily accurate dude
It's the wrong arm. It's the wrong arm
Oh, I'm sorry I have no no I for showbiz appreciate you no problem

(35:30):
Oh, yeah, before Dom Henry, huh? This one right here. Yes, I am right. This is yeah
All right
Already, yeah, come on you with your pineapple dress practical pineapple fresh lunch. Hey
Hey gang gang gang gang I'm innocent. Oh

(36:04):
Shit
I feel great. That was nice. Yeah
Refreshing I bet you feel refreshed right now. Yeah, dude
It's like a little trip to the fucking Bahamas that we stills coconut, dude
We still smoke cigarettes on the podcast dude you bring him in or did Harris win

(36:27):
At a rally you tell us dude, we're all wearing sunglasses
Yes, we are. Yeah, the sunglass show because we're all one our sunglasses more trumps brother. Hell. Yeah
Trump than yeah, we got it
From glasses, they're blue. I'm good right now. Thank you man. Yeah, thank you

(36:48):
You do look like a movie star. No you do
You look damn good
Yeah
Dude
teaches from some
Mostly sniped from prison
No, no, no even a little bit taxes will get you dude

(37:12):
You get off more sin bad, you know, you'd be like like Titus from unbreakable Kimmy Smith
What's that? Let me search it up though. Let me see Titus breakable. Mm-hmm
I want that shirt. I want it

(37:33):
One of the funniest people I'm telling you
Just watching him you can watch like a supercut of just a bit. It's hilarious
I know this guy when I first saw him I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna go to the bathroom
I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom
It's hilarious. I know this guy when I saw this is who I thought he was

(37:56):
Yes. Yeah, that's what I first met Dante is like this is the guy like yeah
Like I thought that was gonna be his whole vibe. No, and dude, if only it was
Squirting and pussy farts and no he's down in that
Fabricamers remember the Febreze when he do that little unstoppable thing where he squeeze it and put it in a little laundry

(38:20):
That's obscure as fuck. Yeah, he was in this guy was in that. Yeah, how do you know that?
I used to I grew up watching that
What's his name that's his real name okay Titus Burgess Titus me this is
Can you look up his tight to see
Oh, he probably does that oh my god might be the best thing ever

(38:52):
All the shit I've said you like that
Then I go home and hang myself
I'm gonna get another drunk guy to run into my car. No the jokes yesterday on hacking for for great. Oh, yeah
Oh, don't let's not know but the people people might not laugh at him. Yeah
But they were they were the best jokes of

(39:21):
Dom just went up there and didn't say anything. Yeah
I mean I let them all Dom was just blank you just look at his eyes. There's nothing going on
Yeah, that didn't work. Yeah, I didn't work at all because somebody called you out on it. Was it Tyler? He was like undead

(39:42):
Yeah, he was too drunk. He doesn't I wasn't there. I wasn't there. No, I'm saying I remember what you're talking
He did call. Yeah, he was like undead don't you mean dead?
Yeah, you're like no you said zombies. Yeah
Yeah, zombies. I agree. I was out of it. I but luckily they carry that shit
That was fun. Tyler and what's his name? John? John?
Yeah, they were the fucking beast at that hacker for

(40:04):
Yeah, they did good
Somebody said that Blake Russell looks like Worlington if he never did drugs. Yeah, dude, that's spot-on
That's so good. Who is Worlington? Keenan Worlington?
Keenan Worlington. Worlington. Worlington. My bad. Yeah, Worlington.
Worlington Co-Factory. He's funny as fuck. I love him and his body

(40:26):
Not there doing it
Hell yeah
Alright
I like how Brandon's Eddie grew up watching this. It was 2022
No, no, let me show you. Look, it's right there. 2016
Oh, okay, my bad Brandon
That looks like Kid President
He's always trying to get what up

(40:46):
You guys remember Kid President?
Kid President? That looks like Kid President
He grew up and you know
It's ahead of that time
That was like 2014
Right, you got that
It's too old for that
There's Kid President dude
I mean he's grown to hell now
Is that sci-fi?
Oh yeah, that's him now

(41:08):
That's him now
Well that's Dante, Typhoon, Syphon
Pat, take your pick
He looks like he got a little something going on
What? Downs or something like that?
No
You remember Cory in the House?
The first black president?
Hell yeah

(41:30):
Isn't it crazy that they made a show Cory in the House and didn't make his dad the president?
Because that was so unlikely that that would happen
They made him the chef
Well he was the chef
How would a chef become president?
To play White Devil's Advocate
If you didn't know this, this is a TV show
I knew it dude
This is fictional, you could have made the president black

(41:53):
But they were like that would never happen
This is fictional
It would never happen
So they made his dad the fucking chef
Dude, yeah
Why he could have been the president's kid?
He could have been Baron Trump dude
But he wasn't
We showed him next year though, hell yeah
First of all, Baron Trump for president in 2028 right?

(42:14):
What?
He's younger than I am
He's 17, I only got 5
He's trying to run now
Is he trying?
I don't know about that
I'm not putting in existence
If Dom says something
It's not right
It's probably not correct
But he said he is running in 38

(42:36):
He didn't say that
He's not going to be older
He just came out and said it on Theo Vance Podcast
We haven't seen it because it just dropped today
Baron Trump was on Theo Vance Podcast
For real? Is this true?
I don't believe him
Who the fuck names their kid Baron?

(42:58):
You see they just sitting right next to each other
That's Donald Trump
Yeah because that's what's been on the last couple of weeks
I've been looking on videos
It's nothing
This isn't even a funny joke
It's not even a funny trick
It's like Baron Trump
I mean maybe the dad talked about him

(43:20):
I don't know if you can just interview a minor on the podcast
How old is she?
You just shouldn't
How old is Hawk Tua?
Oh she's 22 I think right?
She's old enough
That's what we call the scout
No we're getting there
Brandon's like she was born in September 2017
Fuck yeah I know

(43:42):
Hey ladies
He's going to be trouble when he gets older
He looks Eastern European as fuck
He's going to run America
Because it's Melania's health
You got Melania and Trump together
Dude he's 6 foot 9?
What damn
Oh he's tall as shit
That's crazy as hell
Aren't they both shit?

(44:04):
That's crazy as hell
Aren't they both short?
No Trump is 6'3
God damn
That's like Jack Skeleton type
That's fucked up
I mean that's cool
Fucking shit dude
He's got the blue tie on?

(44:26):
He's got nothing to do with this
He's got the blue tie, he's White Guys for Harris
Oh my gosh
That little rebellion
He gets a purple one
Because he's like third party
That'd be tight
That's cool
I personally think
The lightsaber colors should
Convert to tie colors in politics

(44:48):
I think the Secret Service should wear
Yellow ties
They're already pretty gay
Why not go the extra mile?
Because that mile's on a slow
The Secret Service is gay?
Dude do you see what they almost let Trump die?
Get based
I mean it's based in a way
But also kinda gay
Dude if they would have killed Obama I would have been so mad

(45:10):
Oh yeah they would have been mad too
They would have pushed Obama
To the crowd
My thing is how is it the Secret Service
That I can see you right there
Exactly dude, they don't even wear camouflage
That's a really good point Joe
That's a nice black suit
Let me search
Your Secret Service right now
See if we can see him

(45:32):
Who's the head of the Secret Service now?
How are they so secret if they got a wig on?
How are they so secret if he right fucking here?
Oh my gosh that looks like a dude
Hold on let me show you some more
Four, they all around now
Damn
Hodor
That's a crazy
That's crazy
They got the picture of the bullet whizzing by instead of the hair

(45:54):
Oh my gosh
Let me just look at it
Damn, that's wild shit
It's not any of those on the screen
People think he's ordained
People think he's ordained by God
Dude after that
There are people out there
I thought he had a slam dunk though but it seems like it's coming back down
Yeah it seems like it's coming back down
It's coming back down from almost getting shot as a

(46:16):
President
Former president and then
Running for office
That should automatically
Who controls the media?
You guys
We know
I don't know
Do other people think it was staged or something?
Nah, I mean people do
I get it dude

(46:38):
I get why you would think that but what
Getting shot as a president kind of hack bro
It's been done before
And he didn't even go all the way
Like some people did
Some have failed, some have succeeded
Reagan did it, you know he came back
Now that guy is making SoundCloud music
So that's fun
Abraham Lincoln did it the best
JFK, they really

(47:00):
Yeah they failed
Bush did dodge that shoe dude
He moved, he was quick
He got out of the way
He should have done a shoeie out of it
Nah, he should have been like I'll show you
You know he has a Corz banquet in his pocket
The Hawk Tour girl is missing it
She's a baby but she still
She goes Hawk Tour
Dude

(47:22):
Who wants a loogie spat on their cock by some fucking dumb whore dude?
Damn
Everybody
Not a loogie spitting yeah
But not like a snot
If you're going Hawk Tour that's snot dude
No it's not
It's flim
If somebody flimmed on your dick you'd slap them in the face

(47:44):
Especially if it was a white lady
You're not talking to the right guy
It would never happen, I don't date Jewish women
Baruch atah
So you like dry mouth
No I don't
No I'm not a
Who what?
He wants a cat tongue
Oh sandpaper
I don't want a cat tongue

(48:06):
Sandpaper tongue
I just don't want you to hawk a loogie on my
Schvanz, my shvek
She looks like she smells bad
Really?
She definitely uses nature dude
No she uses
She uses powder deodorant
Oh she uses powder
She uses fucking old spice
Back in the day

(48:28):
Old spice
She uses deodorant she stole from her boyfriend
It's 100% true
You know that other girl in the video
They're not friends anymore cause she's not famous
Oh my god
You know it dude
It's how it goes
Oh my gosh
But a loogie but snot
Just spit

(48:50):
Hotooey
Shit
People say they want you to
Just spit
I guarantee like I don't think I've watched
A porn where somebody's gone
What kind of porn are you watching?
Gay?
You know the amount of spitting in gay porn
Is probably astronomical
First of all

(49:12):
Jake watches solo male masturbation
That's not true
He can basically just turn on
The camera app and face it outwards
And that's the porn he's watching
That's not true dude
He's trying to see like what's his stroke pattern like
He's got the fucking advanced
Next gen stats
Why is he so under par?
Wait Jake you don't watch gallons of gags

(49:34):
I don't watch gallons of gags
Or guzzles of dugs
Yeah what is that
It sounds like it's real
But it did
So does you know triple XL Hunter
That sounds real
Alex what's the one piece
Can't just do one piece
Immobile suit Gundams
I love how you go for Alex for the point of view

(49:56):
This is his joke
This is a joke
Triple XL Hunter
Triple XL Hunter
Can't just have one piece
Immobile Suit Gundam
Immobile Suit Gundam is still my favorite dude
That's so good
Immobile Suit Gundam
Yeah but I don't understand it because I don't know any of these animes
You told them about the anime joke

(50:18):
You can relate pretty hard to the other aspect
Of that joke though
Fat
Oh my god dude
Yeah
I got it
Sorry man that was mean
I shouldn't have said that I feel bad
Son of a bitch
Your porn history
Is the only way to prove that you're not

(50:40):
Like gay
It is
You can always, I'm not gay, but until you show your
Porn history
That's the only way you can find out a lot about somebody
You can find out a lot from somebody's porn search history
Imagine if you had somebody's entire
Porn search history
You can find out are they gay
Are they racist
Are they a pedophile

(51:02):
How the fuck do you find that out
I think Jake
Find their porn search history
And you can learn those things
Are they gay racist or a pedophile
Who keeps their
Search history for their porn
I'm not saying you keep it, I'm saying if you're like a government entity
Or something
You're like is Alex
Racist we know

(51:24):
I don't see the racist part though
What's the last three things you looked up
For porn
What are your last three porn searches
I feel like
Alex
Alex chimes in with a
Fucking just a big one dude
No pun intended
I have watched that, it's probably in recently
I have watched that

(51:46):
Cheating wife cuck, BBC anal
BBW
BBW
BBW
Disrespectful, it's hard to find but
Disrespect the BBWs
Dom will you please tell them what you told me
About big women
Did you see that Brandon said
Back in the day yes
Back in the day yeah

(52:08):
Back in the day it was some BDMSM
Solo
Solo, male
Masturbation
Popular
Because I couldn't see like no other dudes dick
Get the fuck out of here
They come in there, nah man I'm good
So when you watch it
You don't like to see any guy in there
Yeah back then nah man

(52:30):
But now you like a little dick
Now it's all guys
No I'm talking about when I did watch it
When I did watch it
You don't watch porn anymore
I thought you were porn reform
You know porn at all
You don't watch porn
Brandon shut the fuck up
I don't either
I've seen you porn dude

(52:52):
You tell me you don't watch that shit
I don't
Brandon
Brandon
Are you not watching porn or you
I mean you're not watching porn
Are you looking at Sydney Sweeney's
Instagram pictures and
Dude I just have to
Wait for the AT&T commercial
To come on

(53:14):
Damn see the AT&T used to pop up
You guys trying to buy some of the best weed
In the state of Alabama
Dude I'm tired of that, you just gotta skip
Through that bitch, suck that bitch
Let me trade some
Nobody wants to see we get the fuck out of here
You make me dislike weed for that minute
Bullshit
The fuck
And I bet it's probably really good weed too

(53:36):
That's probably why they do that shit cause there ain't no people to skip through it
That's just Matt's weed dude
Matt came in as soon as that guy got off the camera
He's like did you get it? Good
Not Matt's cool
Shout out the shop
Cannabar and Mercantile
He's gonna be mad at you Jake
He's not gonna like you anymore
Why would you say that? I'll be up all night

(53:58):
I'm gonna fucking DM him
And be like Jake said you're a piece of shit
Jake said you're a fucking
Thai Tussie
I'll just cash app him
I'll be like I forgot to
Tip you the other day
And then I'll have the Israeli flag in it and that's how I'll solve this
He'll like that
I don't know what his views are
I'll tell you

(54:20):
You guys like Israel?
Of course we like Israel
What else do you guys want to talk about?
Israel Adesanya
He lost
He did lose
Israel losing a lot
Dupussy
I'm not gonna fuck up his name Dupussy
That's the champion
Drakis

(54:42):
The real African King
He said Dupussy I'm not gonna mess up his name
That's the heavyweight champion
He's even never messing up dude
Why I mess up his name trying to search you
Look at that
He's from South Africa
Is it racist to say it looks like a gorilla?
No
He does
He has gorilla features

(55:04):
Vanilla Gorilla
That's crazy
I like this
That was Darren Till wasn't it?
Vanilla Gorilla
This dude is way more
For Vanilla Gorilla
Is he half Jamaican half Italian?
He's from South Africa
Fucking colonizer dude
Respectable

(55:26):
No I'm kidding
He's a whore
He sees the videos
He's colored actually
He's so awkward
He's an average colored person
And I think that Sean O'Malley is still the rival
Or not, I think Sean Strickland is still the rival champion
You watch every UFC that comes out?
I believe in Sean Strickland's right of return
I would

(55:48):
I would
I've never
Don't they have one a week?
I've never spent money on any of them
I bought like $80
Not all of them, you have to pay for all of them
But most of them, they're big
The once a month, the numbered cards
The numbered cards
But you have to pay for the ESPN plus
Subscription

(56:10):
And then you have to pay for the pay per view
They also get like fight pass I think
And they also
We pay
Stream Eats has not died
What do you guys think about Paul Tyson?
Should we bleep that out?
Why you blowing up the spot man?
It already got blown up on Twitter
Why you blowing up the spot man?
I don't know what that means exactly

(56:32):
That means it's gone now
They busted it, you know what I mean?
Kapoosh
You never heard that saying before?
You're getting more black friends
Or at least like Matthew Lumbra whites
I don't need anymore of those
Blowing up the spot
I love Lumbra but only him

(56:54):
That's enough
He'll get you enough
I need some W words in your life
W words?
That one's a hard one too
So close
Wig parties
The wigs dude, they're gone
Matthew Lumbra's not what they're talking about
What? He's saying the wigs?
Yeah dude

(57:16):
Brandon's an honorary
Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on
What's an honorary?
What's an honorary?
We'll get you a plaque dude
He's an honorable mention
For his charitable donations to black white culture
Oh no
There was a white totally texture
We really got more in common
Than we do differences

(57:38):
Really?
I mean we do share the same
Polo, it's crazy
I do have that shirt man
Walmart is really stepping up
Don't worry about what Jase talking about
You guys keep on going
Brandon
I like you man
Dude I like you too man, good dude

(58:00):
I would never touch you like those other people did
Okay
Not because I don't think you're a devilishly handsome young man
Thanks man
Thank you
I hope not
That's why I didn't take the test
I don't like those guys over there
I don't
Dude Alex is getting mad

(58:22):
First of all dude
You white folks
Over there
You don't have a say in this
We've got a black guy
With another thing going on
An Asian guy with another thing going on
And a Mexican
Oh
Yeah dude
I'm Mexican as fuck

(58:44):
You should go to the lowest
Whoa
I'm not agreeing with that
Have you shown off the new Mexican tat dude?
If I was that flexible I would
Now did you know that it was the Mexican flag?
At the time I wasn't thinking about it
But it's welcome
It's sick as fuck and it's Americana

(59:06):
I want that
I had this planned this was premeditated Mexican conversion
You want an eagle eating a snake
It chose me
It called to me it screeched at me
Your brother's been whispering in your ear at night dude
It's really a commentary on American imperialism dude
Talons of the eagle
If that's not a metaphor what is dude?

(59:28):
The eagle's winning
Exactly I mean
It takes life
The eagle is winning dude
Those Mexican snakes are getting their heads bitten
We're turning the tide dude
Mexico's gonna blow up dude
Mexico's gonna be huge
Mexico's gonna be huge
The 23rd century is the Mexican century
That's my prediction

(59:50):
The Mexican century
That is the hypothesis that
The population of Mexico is gonna
Just boom while all these like
World powers populations are declining
Mexico's gonna boom
China's supposed to have a big population drop
Really?
Did y'all see the
The American team beating the Chinese team
In math dude

(01:00:12):
Isn't it like the American team is just like
All Asian kids
The American team is just like
Four Koreans like a white girl
And like two Chinese guys
And they just fucking leveled
The Chinese team dude
Hell yeah
America you gotta incorporate the enemy units
The first question was what is the
What is the area of Tiananmen Square

(01:00:36):
You could say it was in the
American family
I'm a fucking
Genius dude
Brain damage won't
Bring me down dude
That's a good positive way to think about it
No the positive way to think about it
Is to go to the fucking hospital

(01:00:58):
Makes you don't have bleeding on the brain
You need Pedialyte
Bob Saget died like that man
I think he was murdered
What's his name dude?
Taitusi
Bob Saget died possibly a murder
Somebody killed him
He maybe died in murder
He maybe slipped
He maybe

(01:01:20):
This is why
It's a perfect crime
But Clintons took him out dude
Danny Tanner
Come on man
It was Mary Kay
I don't think it was Danny Tanner or Mary Kay or Ashley
It was both
When I was a kid I would cry watching this shit
Who would want to kill Bob Saget
I love Full House

(01:01:42):
That was my shit
It is the shit first of all you're right
I remember being a child just watching it all night
I did not picture either of you watching Full House
They did make Fuller House though
Fuller House
Fuller House
I didn't finish it no
I was just sitting there back in the day
Being like man that house looks safe
Oh my god

(01:02:04):
Then when that sad ass music would come on
When they fucked up
They pat him on the
Everything's gonna be okay
It's alright you fucked somebody up
It's okay
You got the pat on the back
Everything's gonna be okay
You get the pat on the back after you got your asshole
Hey son
Duality of man

(01:02:26):
Stop crying
Abused
Low discipline
I love what you did
You needed that asshole
Yes I did
MK Ultra
That's a good way to think about it
When was the last time you got a good asshole
Man
I'm talking about a good one

(01:02:48):
It's been a couple years
I hope a couple years
You could vote
You got beat up
Maybe 12 or 13
You still get little pats
That's the right age
We got a little tap on the hiking stick
It wasn't a serious hit
A hiking stick
Just a little tap

(01:03:10):
Metal rod
Cattle prod
You still get little taps
There ain't nothing wrong with that
The kids need to get their ass beat
I ain't
But 13 is the age
Because then you get bigger than your mama
You still get hit older
It's alright
It doesn't hurt as bad

(01:03:32):
It's okay
My mom would do this weird palm strike thing all the time
My mom would basically punch you with the hand
It was crime of God
It was crime of God
She would always hit me right in the mouth every time
With the palm like that
She would turn over too
She would pop and pop me right in the mouth with her palm
That's not a bad hit

(01:03:54):
That's fair play
That's emasculating
That was like a straight
Hit you with the cobra
Yeah dude
Hit you with the booter palm
She took the soul
She said hey
My grandma did the clavicle crush
She grabbed you right here and then
Stopped fucking playing

(01:04:16):
For real?
She wouldn't curse at me
She's older, she can't be able to tussle with you
No
She could beat me up today
If I tried my absolute hardest
My dad would grab the back of the neck
Like that, like in the store
If you were fucking around
Like a cat dude
He would get you and just be like

(01:04:38):
Fuck around
That's how he would handle it
That's not a bad one either
My dad would hit
She was like once you grow up
You graduate to the gun now
You do something out of hand, you get shot
Let's switch up the confidence
She did put the target on the frame
She put the target on the frame
That's crazy

(01:05:00):
I can't even imagine that
I can't control you, I just gotta do it
I'm not firing a warning shot
I'm shooting to kill
She will
She got that thing where she did all those headshots
On her door
She'll get you man
She'll get you
I don't want to fuck around and find out
Just at the gun range with a fentanyl pet

(01:05:22):
She's good
She's good
She's tough man, I'm good
Yeah I like that
You need strong female figures in the West
Yeah she was strong
She was strong
Yeah
You need that though
You need to get shot sometimes when you're older
Thankfully it never happens

(01:05:44):
But if you get out of line you know what good happens
Have y'all ever been shot at dude?
Nah, I mean just a BB gun
I'm a dude trying to shoot me in the head
If I had my phone I'd call my boy right now
He shot at me
When I say probably is about
He shot like no bullshit
He shot at me and almost killed my boy Sal
Wow
Before the diabetes impressive

(01:06:06):
Yeah
Yeah
When we get the cameras
I'll call him and we'll have the conversation on air
Because this really happened
And people don't believe it whenever
I tell it sometimes
But yeah, well as soon as we get the cameras
I'll get my phone out
Did you catch it?
He shot like literally right in front

(01:06:28):
Of that
You know like on the curb it's the sidewalk
It's like your house the sidewalk and then that little grass
He shot in that grass area while I'm in there
And he was like you scared now huh?
I'm like yeah, you're shooting at me
Of course I'm scared
I somehow know
This was over half a sandwich
I somehow know
This was a food deal going wrong

(01:06:50):
Holy shit
You fucking scared now?
Give me that
Give me that meatball sub
And it would be a meatball
Because that's the best one
The only one to kill it
A guy that wears those gold frame aviators
Meatball sub
Once a week bare minimum
Wife beater

(01:07:12):
Yeah
But nothing crazy
What do you say how do you find out the rule of thumb
That's what I heard
The rule of thumb term originated
You can't get a stick bigger in diameter
Than your thumb to beat your wife
And that's you know what
Bring it back
Did you guys have grandparents
That would make you get a switch

(01:07:34):
Yes one time
Did you ever have to get a switch
Once
He's going to take your time
You gotta take your time
You just want to test it out on yourself
And you think the smaller one
Is the better one but it's not
You want the bigger one
They go get their own
Fuck that

(01:07:56):
They'll get a perfect one too
You don't want to get one of those ones where you open it up
And it's still green on the inside
When you're getting
When you're getting your switch
You can see the one that she'll pick
You can see it
If you're smart you'll destroy that one
Real quick while you're there
She'll get that one
Do you think that's what Adrian Peterson did

(01:08:18):
Probably
Dude imagine Adrian Peterson
Beating you up as a child
With a stick
I'd be terrified
His son probably should have acted right
I agree
I mean if your dad's some fucking deadbeat
Do whatever you want
He's got some fucking NFL dude
He won MVP as a running back

(01:08:40):
The speed and power behind this guy
He would destroy 90% of the men on the planet
With a small stick
At the speed he was running he would just hold it out
And let them be hit with it
This guy played for the Redskins
Not the Washington football team
This guy played for the Redskins
I miss the Redskins dude
I miss them

(01:09:02):
I don't think the natives were mad about it
It was white people who was mad about it
Nah I wasn't mad
Well not you kind of whites
Women
The main argument is that
It's just literally a slur
It is a slur though right
It is a slur but it's a good one
The Cleveland Brownskins
That might have been not great

(01:09:24):
That'd been not good
We got the Browns
The Brownskins though
That's what this meant
Wait is the Browns really meant to be
The Indians no more
They're the guardians
And they've been since like 2020 or 2021
But the Cleveland Indians
Logo was
Little dicey

(01:09:46):
It was like firetruck
Red
And his name was Chief Wahoo
They're gonna keep the Chiefs though
Well that one's not
Because Chief is like a high position
What are you gonna change it to
The CEOs
So is Redskin really a slur
It sounds pretty sure
But what about the Redman 2

(01:10:08):
What
Like the chewing tobacco
Did they change that
You know tobacco ain't changing shit
They better not happen
They kill people
Give a fuck
But that looks tight
If I was a Native American I would want that
Still on there
No? Nobody else?

(01:10:30):
You fucking took all the land
Might as well give them something you get the fucking
There's like ways
And it's not enough but there's like way we honor
Native Americans like all the attack helicopters
They're like Apache and shit
You know who's
I'm a member of the
Kiowa tribe
I am a member of the Kiowa tribe
I was inducted with that eagle feather

(01:10:52):
And that buffalo hide blanket
Sick dude when do you get your casino
I got it I'll bring it in
Can't touch it
You're not chosen
But yeah you know who's offended
By the Redskins names
The white women that say they're 116th Cherokee
Yeah I got a bit about them
Elizabeth I'm not red
I call them the Navajos

(01:11:14):
Have you seen
Brandon
Thank you
White women now they have this tanning
App where you can
Track the progression of your skin color
And they have like cute little names
For the shade so you go from like pearly
White to espresso
And they track it by color
Wow

(01:11:36):
That makes me so fucking mad
You're getting a little dicey dude
Does it let you go as far to the left
Color wise or does it stop
At still white
It gives you an alert when you're bordering
Blackface when you're about to hit
Blackface it's like warning you'll get kicked out
Of Delta Sigma
Cancel warning
Are you trying to do politics later on

(01:11:58):
If so just say
You're Indian and not actually be Indian
Elizabeth Warren
Hell yeah
Elizabeth Warren
So that's it
That's been the pot
We're trying to be inclusive
Just say
Fucking yay and be for real about it
I know yay doesn't like y'all

(01:12:20):
Oh shit what you talking about Kanye
Do you like Kanye West
Do you think he's the best
Is he a genius
You're asking this fucking Yakuubi
An artistic genius
Yes
You think he's right about the Jews
Of course not
Maybe is he right about
Sure sure

(01:12:42):
But does he paint it in the right light
No does he like paint what the opposition is doing
No it's fine
I think he should box Taylor Swift
Dude I
I hate Taylor Swift
Really
You have her love story dude
I think it's just that every woman I've ever met
Is just so fucking gay for Taylor Swift
That it just I can't stand it anymore

(01:13:04):
I can't stand it anymore
I can't stand it
It's just nothing but Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift Taylor Swift Taylor Swift
I can't
Why is she so fucking famous dude
Look at her
Yeah I see her
Nobody's gone farther with Les I don't think
I'm with you JJ
She has one song out of all the

(01:13:26):
CDs that she has
She has a few bangers but what I'm saying is like
There's other artists that are
Just as good if not better
I don't think that's a wild statement
To make Kanye West
Yeah but he's in a different league
Than this fucking bitch
No I mean but they're probably both
Same celebrity
Like celebrity

(01:13:48):
She's the biggest celebrity in the world by far
You think she's bigger than Kanye
I don't know if she's bigger than Kanye
She can go to any country in the world
She can go to North Korea and they'd be like
Taylor Swift
I think she's a billionaire now
She's a billionaire now after Big Taylor Swift
Oh yeah let's see if you want to see her net worth
She has to be a billionaire if she's not
What is she doing with her money dude

(01:14:10):
If she started doing coke I'd be way bigger
I would bet anything that she's on Adderall
What are you talking about
She grew up in Hollywood
She's doing tour after tour after tour
She's from Pennsylvania
Look at that nose and body
She has Michael Jackson's nose and body
That's exactly what Michael Jackson and Hitler wanted everyone to look like

(01:14:32):
I'm not a fan
Yeah
That's what Michael Jackson was
He was trying as hard as he could to be Taylor Swift
Yeah next time Hitler
How do you think Hitler would have felt about Meg Thee Stallion though
Do you think that would have made him
He didn't dislike black people we've already talked about this
I don't think he liked Jesse Owen
He didn't dislike that's a nice voluptuous woman
I don't think he liked him

(01:14:54):
Who? Jesse Owens
He was cool with Jesse
He sent them a letter
Don't you dare try to spread this propaganda on this show
Don't you dare try to spread this propaganda on this show
This is propaganda
He sent Jesse Owens a letter
He sent Jesse Owens a letter
Look Adolf Snubs US lads
Told you
What do you think that means

(01:15:16):
He says Hitler was reprimanded
Just because you proved you can read doesn't mean you won the argument
He said told you
Hitler was reprimanded
Hitler was reprimanded
I said reprimanded

(01:15:38):
Shame on you
The Jews are fair game
But Jesse Owens
He didn't meet with him because he lost
Not because Jesse Owens was black
Not because Jesse Owens was black
I'm sticking
If I was racist I'd have a form of vote to pick with him
Let me check on here
I'm sticking with my stance
I'm sticking with my stance of being staunchly anti Hitler

(01:16:00):
I don't think I'm going to switch up on that
He was a complicated guy
I'm more of a Hideki Tojo man
He was snubbed
I don't know dude
I don't know dude
I like his name
You would
Wow
He said he didn't
It is true that Hitler did not shake hands with Owens

(01:16:24):
In fact he did not congratulate any gold medalist after the first day of competition
What did I tell you
What do you think this is doing
He didn't like anybody who didn't
Because all the Olympians were black
Look at the podium
No that's just that one
I would love to defend Hitler with Dom all day
Yeah

(01:16:46):
Right
But I won't
I'm not defending Hitler man
He looks horrible
He's bad Brandon
He's bad
He's bad
We already talked about this
6 million
6 million really
Go look up the size

(01:17:08):
Maybe 11 million
This is a slippery slope
How big is Germany compared to Texas
Texas is bigger than Germany
That doesn't prove a single thing
That's not what we're talking about right here JJ
Texas is bigger than Germany
That doesn't prove anything
Look at the images
Don't look at images
Alright you see that

(01:17:30):
Okay let's see right there
So Texas is way bigger but they're talking about 6 million
But Germany also took over France and Poland
And several other
So like a lot of the death camps
Were like Treblinka and Sobobor
Which were in their Ukraine
Yeah and so you gotta take a million off the top
Of that
There's just that
You got to

(01:17:52):
Don't let them pollute your mind
Okay you see how big that
Now you think
You looking at this picture
Do you think 6 million people can fit in there
That's a continent Brandon
That's a fucking continent
But look
Google third rike empire at height
Wait you said third rike
Yeah the third one

(01:18:14):
The third one
Third rike hold on
Empire at what
Damn
This will be on the podcast
Hold up
No go back to the images
We just saw the map
The map where the red the top middle
Top middle
So that's literally the same

(01:18:36):
That's big
You think Texas has 6 million people in it
They also had France
Brandon click on this one
Yeah the one to the left
Third from third one
That's right after they took over
Norway and Mike
That's bigger than Texas for sure
Also
You can mix the United States up

(01:18:58):
With Japan and Europe and all that
That's what that's saying
That's allies
Only the dark red is Germany
Remember they beat the
So there was a time they hold France
They beat the fuck out of France super quick
They were on fucking meth and cocaine
They blew through Italy was their ally
They blew through the world
Germany is under ours right now

(01:19:20):
That's what that's saying
That's why we were fighting in North Africa
They took Norway unfortunately
Everything else is just allies
Under German occupation
The same way
That the fucking Philippines
Is under US occupation
We own that shit
We could have that tomorrow
They're doing whatever they do over there

(01:19:44):
They're singing karaoke
Yeah man
No harm no foul
That's fine
They're not living by our law
They had room to work
Two death camps were in the Ukraine
So Brandon all I'm saying is
This might tell you 6 million
There was definitely 6 million people
In Germany at this time

(01:20:06):
Germany alone
You may search it up
No no no
Let's not look at the numbers
That's what we're talking about
I actually think it was 7 million
It was more like 11
If you include like
Who else did they fucking kill? Gypsies, Armenians
Do you think there's 6 million people in there?
6 million people in Texas right now

(01:20:28):
Okay not in Texas
Not in Texas
This conversation is over
Can't be a Brandon having a conversation
Can I say one thing?
6 million Jews but they're only counting
Them as half a person
So it's really 12
So you believe that now?
Do I believe 12?
The only thing I'm saying is you can't believe

(01:20:50):
You know it ain't 6 million people
In Texas
In Texas yes
Not in Texas
How many people do you think are in the world?
God damn
If I have to say this again I'm going to lose my shit
How many people do you think are in the world?
Only
2 Billions
Trillions

(01:21:12):
Not trillions
So if there's trillions of people
Brandon how many billion are in the world?
Okay I feel like
He said or trillions
He said a trillion
2 billion are in the world
Okay probably what?
365 billion
100 billion
We'll average it out to 100 billion

(01:21:34):
There's a lot of people
There's 7 billion people in the world
He said 1 trillion
I'm taking that a trillion
It's 7 billion
You can't even get through nowhere
There are a trillion people
He said the traffic
When traffic is bad
There's a lot of people here
Where do you think they go when there's not a traffic?

(01:21:56):
They go to bed
Go to sleep
Okay Brandon final answer
How many people are in the world right now?
Probably
96 billion
Why are you laughing?
5 billion
That's closer
5 billion
How many Jews died though?

(01:22:18):
7 billion
But back then you gotta take away for inflation
Okay
So you gotta take it back
Inflation on people too cause they had less people back then
Great depression
How many people do you think live in Texas right now?
People did sell their kids
Probably
36 million
That's actually

(01:22:40):
You just said there wasn't 6 million there
Hold on let me think about it
Just the state of Texas
You gotta remember that
Maybe
Maybe like
5 million
So 5 million in the whole state of Texas
But they're saying
They kill 6 million
That was a long war

(01:23:02):
So you're gonna wipe out everybody and bring another million people in
And wipe them out again?
It's a rotation
They were doing rotations
It's like when you graduate class
They go to the next class
You get more people
So I think the main thing we established here
That doesn't need to be disputed
Is 4 million people
Or 5 million people in Texas right now

(01:23:24):
And there are 1 trillion in the world
And there's 1 trillion in the world
That's the end of the podcast guys
Thank you so much

(01:24:00):
Tied to see

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The Dark Side | #ClownCollegeComedyPodcast | Ep 43 W/ Jake Muncey

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Dark Side | #ClownCollegeComedyPodcast | Ep 43 W/ Jake Muncey