Co-Parent Dilemmas

Claire writes in and asks what to do about a co-parent who takes more than 5 minutes to say goodbye to their daughter at each exchange. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of  taking care during exchanges to send the message that parents will be okay, no matter which house the child 

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Listener Amanda writes to Diane & Rick regarding her co-parent’s complaint about their daughter’s activities being too inconvenient for him and his spouse to endure. The hosts discuss the concept of time with children being the co-parents’ “turn” to be responsible, not their time to dominate the child’s interests. They also explore alternative language to their parenting plan regarding major decision making. 

WE HAVE ...

Listener Ashley is frustrated by both her husband and her co-parent. She frequently finds herself caught between them, and none of it is helpful to her 12-year-old son. Diane & Rick explore the difficulties of navigating this  dilemma, and discuss both sides of the equation.

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Diane & Rick respond to a listener’s question about withholding parenting time due to a history of domestic violence and continued toxicity in their other home. What are the steps to determine safety issues? How do parents balance protecting children with the risk of being accused of parental alienation? The co-hosts break it down.

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Diane and Rick answer listener Carlos’ question about the confusing paragraph in his parenting plan regarding the summer schedule. His co-parent is attempting to manipulate the schedule to get more time than the plan intends. The hosts discuss alternative ways to structure a plan like this and the importance of minimizing conflict for the children so they can enjoy their summer vacation. 

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Listener Colleen wants to stop communicating with her co-parent so she can get emotional relief. Diane & Rick revisit the importance of following the structured email protocol and talk about the pitfalls of going silent or ignoring the impossible co-parent.

WE HAVE A NEW RESOURCES PAGE ON THE WEBSITE! Visit www.CPDilemmas.com/resources to view the email protocol, 20 Responses to Difficult Co-Parents, and other documen...

Diane & Rick address Zachary’s question about how to get his co-parent to stop bringing her toxic boyfriend to the children’s activities. He worries the children will get in the middle of the conflict. They discuss the purpose of setting a boundary is for proactive self-protection, not to manage the other parent’s behavior. 

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Diane & Rick address listener Danny’s question about the top three issues facing high-conflict parents and how to resolve them. The hosts discuss the fact that the issues are not the problem, but what lies underneath them, such as the fears and threats that drive the conflict. They explore the idea that some conflicts are not worth fighting for if the feared outcome is merely possible, but not probable. 

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Shawn asks a question about how to help her 19-year-old daughter repair her relationship with her father. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of acting parental no matter how old the child is. The discuss the daughter’s dilemma of not only competing for her father’s time, but dealing with the fact he married someone close to her age.

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Sometimes approaching your court case without an attorney can leave you vulnerable and without all the information you need to make good decisions. Diane & Rick explore a listener’s frustrations about her parenting plan language and how things may have been different if she had not run out of money and had to act pro se.

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Diane & Rick answer listener Ryan’s question about which therapist he and his co-parent should choose for their daughter. The one nearest dad or mom? What really matters? Is it possible to have a “harmonious” discussion, as their parenting plan orders them to do? You might be surprised by their answers.

CLICK HERE to access the paragraph about Final Decision Making mentioned in this episode.

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Diane & Rick discuss the mental health issues that are connected to someone with an extremely self-focused personality disorder, also known as a Narcissist. They differentiate the clinical information from what is promoted on social media and help listeners to determine how to respond to a narcissistic co-parent with good boundaries and not as a victim.

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Diane & Rick explore the phenomenon of children engaging in  “gaslighting” as a strategy to either survive their parents’ conflict or to manipulate a parent to get what they want. Is it a learned behavior from an alienating parent, or is it part of something deeper? The hosts break it down.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmai...

Listener Heather shares a paragraph from her parenting plan entitled “Special Considerations”. Diane& Rick explore how you can go too far in trying to explain an abstract phrase and find yourself right back into the conflict that prompted the language to begin with! Ultimately, they settle on the simple concept of doing what is right without expecting reciprocation, which always benefits the child. 

This episode is sp...

Diane & Rick address listener Shary’s dilemma about parenting time with an infant. How much does the co-parent relationship determine the best schedule? The hosts break it down, as well as discuss the similarities between toddlers and teens when it comes to co-parenting issues.

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If you have a problematic paragraph in your paren...

In another episode in the parenting plan disaster series, Diane & Rick review Camile’s parenting plan language about 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends. They discuss the problems with wording that seems fair in its attempt, but destined to create all kinds of unnecessary conflict. They provide a definition of “good faith” that would confuse the most astute legal scholar. Diane also shares her “Five Parenting Plan Commandments”.

Listener Michael shares his problematic parenting plan language about birthday parties with Diane & Rick. They discuss not only the problem with the wording, but what really matters to the child — the one being honored by the celebrations. The hosts warn against creating language to manage co-parent conflict at the expense of the child.

This episode is sponsored by SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE....

Diane & Rick address a listener’s question about the meaning of dinner  in his parenting plan. They discuss how some co-parents go to great lengths to misinterpret parenting plan language to interfere with the other parent’s time with the children. Discussed are ways to avoid these common traps and the unrealistic fears parents can have when their co-parent makes baseless threats about parenting plan language.

If you ...

Listener Colleen writes to get advice on how to manage her emotions and not answer her co-parent’s lying emails and texts. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of becoming desensitized to the other parent’s trigger attempts. As well as practice resisting the temptation to respond as a coping skill for the anxiety. Also discussed are strategies to begin the desensitization process.

If you have a problematic paragraph in...