Ever wonder about the unsung heroes who make those first few bewildering weeks with a newborn a little less daunting? Listen in as we chat with Terese Flores, with FikaNewborn. a remarkable doula whose admirable work offers a lifeline of support to new parents navigating the turbulent seas of parenthood. As the eldest of triplets and a seasoned nanny, she brings a wealth of firsthand experience to her role, providing invaluable assistance with newborn care as well as postpartum recovery.
This episode will tug at your heartstrings as Terese shares her personal journey of fostering and adopting children, and her own experience with a pregnancy marked by a life-limiting condition. She speaks candidly about the struggles and triumphs, and how her own encounter with a postpartum doula inspired her to extend the same support to others. We will delve into her mission to ensure all mothers receive the assistance they need, regardless of their circumstances. You won't want to miss her amusing anecdotes from her experiences working with a range of different families - including a story that involved a cat psychic and a little Prozac! Tune in for an enlightening conversation that celebrates empathy, resilience, and the power of support.
You can reach Terese at- FikaNewborn
Please stop by our Youtube channel for fun with our guests - Coach Mikki and Friends
We look forward to seeing you succeed! - www.KeepOnSharing.com - Code - KOS
www.CoachMikkiandFriends.com
Join my guests on my YouTube Channel
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coach Mikki (00:00):
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey and I'm so glad that
you've joined us, and if this isyour first time joining us,
come on in and make yourselfcomfortable.
And for those of you thatjoined us on a regular basis, we
are so glad that you do.
And I love the fact that youguys connect with all of our
guests and reach out to me withyour comments, your questions
and your suggestions of peopleto have on as guests.
You guys have been so much funand thank you so much for
(00:23):
connecting me on my new YouTubechannel.
I love the fact that my guestsare coming back and sharing all
their information and we'regoing to have some fun during
this holiday season and we havegot some great upcoming guests
Today.
I am really you guys know I'malways excited to have my guests
on.
That's why I have them on, butI am very excited to have on
(00:45):
this guest.
She offers something that isjust so cool and when I was a
mom especially as a new mom Iwould have given anything to
know about her and I am going tojust jump right in real quick
and tell you guys what she does,who she is, and let her tell
you her story and for those ofyou that are listening anywhere
in the world.
The good news is you're goingto be able to connect with her
(01:08):
anywhere in the world Once youfind out what you need.
I guarantee her phone is goingto be ringing off the hook, so
I'm going to jump right in.
Teres Flores is a doula, butfor those of you that know what
doulas are, she's got a littledifferent bit of a twist,
because she's going to help youwith newborns and postpartum and
she is going to help teach,educate and help you with that
(01:32):
new mom experience that wealways have, that we don't know
because they don't come with amanual.
So I'm just going to jump rightin and into and have you come
in and tell your story.
Thank you so much for joining metoday.
How are you?
I'm doing well.
Thank you, Mikki.
I am so glad to have you.
So when I heard what you do andyour passion, I was thrilled
(01:54):
because, like I said, for myselfI've got two children and they
don't come with a manual.
And you come in, especially ifyou come in as a mom who's had a
C-section and you're trying totake care of yourself and take
care of your family and takecare of a new child, Having
someone like you that comes inand offers this spectrum of a
gift and for no other words toput on it.
(02:14):
Tell me how you got startedwith this.
Teres Flores (02:19):
Absolutely.
So you know I've always beenaround newborns.
I'm the oldest of threesiblings that are triplets.
I was a toddler when they wereborn, so we had a, we went in
full swinging, had a live innanny.
So you know newborns are notsomething that was ever unknown
territory to me.
So I so, and then after that Iworked for at a family, a family
(02:44):
member, as a in-home day care.
So I worked there and thenduring my formal education I was
a nanny for a few families withthe newborns up until they were
five years old.
And I still keep in touch withthem today.
Nice yeah.
(03:06):
How do you connect with thefamilies?
Okay, so where?
Where does it start?
when you, when you come intosomeone's life?
Sure.
So I have mothers that book meand reach out and book me as
early as nine weeks pregnant.
Some mothers book me, you know,a month before their due date
and I absolutely try toaccommodate them on my schedule
(03:26):
in any way that I can if I haveavailability.
But to be quite honest, I'mright now I'm booked, you know,
for in-person through July of2024, but I do offer virtual and
your virtual and video supportthat I'm very flexible on.
So that's always an option foranyone interested in booking as
(03:48):
of now.
But you know I do so I do bookthem and then I they do have 24
seven access to me after priorto book sorry, following booking
, and they might come to me withquestions to relay back to
their OB, questions aboutpregnancy induction, c-section,
(04:10):
recovery if they're anticipatinga C-section.
So these are all things that wecan work on together and
collaborate on and create a planwith each family during their
time prior to baby's arrival.
So also right before usuallythey're due date, I'll pop in
and I'll do a meet and greet attheir home and go over the lay
(04:32):
of the land, show me baby'snursery, show me around the
kitchen, and it just relieves alittle bit more, less stress
after arriving home from thehospital and I show up at your
door we're not scrambling, so itjust helps ease the transition
of things.
And of course, if there is anolder sibling, I introduce
myself to the older sibling andwe work on a little bit of
(04:52):
sibling integration and how thatmight look.
And then I do keep two weeksopen, so I'm on call for the
birth two weeks before and aftertheir due date, of course, and
I hop on over the moment.
I'm there on the front lines assoon as they arrive home from
the hospital.
Coach Mikki (05:12):
That's amazing, especially to have somebody
that's available to come inBecause, like you said, that
moment, that timeframe,especially after having a child
I mean whether it's a naturalbirth or a cesarean that time of
healing and having that extraperson to be available is
definitely helpful, especiallyif you have a spouse that has to
work and they can't beavailable to be there again and
(05:35):
again.
That spouse too, if they areworking, it's up to the mom to
be able to get up, like you say,every two hours and have to be
there for a child.
But having that extra hand, Iknow there was one point with my
daughter.
Oh my gosh, she had colic and Iremember it was nights and
nights and nights of just hercrying and you're walking with
(05:56):
this child, and I remember thiswoman was a godsend.
So it was like two o'clock inthe morning and I hear a knock
at my front door and I look overand I see it's my neighbor.
Now I kind of knew her, but Ididn't.
And she came up, she's knockingon the door and I'm thinking,
oh my gosh, I probably woke herup, I probably woke up her kid
and she said Mick, let me helpyou, let me take her for a while
(06:19):
.
Go sit down, go relax.
She came into my house andwalked with my daughter for
almost three hours just so Icould sit and just relax and I
cannot tell you just that threehours alone was such a gift.
So having somebody like youthat is available to a new mom,
that can help them through allof these things, is definitely
(06:42):
priceless.
I have to ask how did you getstarted?
I know prior to us being on air, you had shared that you had
traveled through Europe and thathelped you with a little bit of
insight to bring your companytogether.
Teres Flores (06:57):
Absolutely yes.
So I took a trip in EasternEurope.
I have a friend that lives overthere and during 2014 and 15, I
stayed with her for a month ortwo and she happened to get
engaged to someone in Sweden.
She had been dating a man inSweden and upon their engagement
, they both flew back to Romaniaand I was staying with her
(07:18):
family and anticipating herarrival and some of the things
you know.
Obviously, I learned about eachculture, but something I
learned that the Swedish didthat I really liked the
tradition was it was called Fika, and Fika is the gathering
together of everyone in the home, just randomly, sporadically,
(07:44):
throughout the day.
They usually meet up in theafternoon.
They'll come to the living roomtable and enjoy coffee and tea
and a few sweets and just a timeto recoup and reconnect with
one another.
And that's what Fika is reallyall about is reconnecting,
taking the time to savor themoment, feeling well rested so
you can be there for your childand savor the moments with your
(08:06):
child, with your new baby thatyou brought home.
Coach Mikki (08:10):
Oh, I love that.
I know it's funny, becauseEurope has moments like that
where they just like to justdecompress and regroup.
So having that ability to dothat and incorporate it into
what you do as a family reallygives it a nice flow, a nice
easy way and a comforting zone.
(08:32):
You know comforting flow,excuse me.
So, wow, that is pretty awesome.
So, and again, and I know youhad shared something that was
kind of intimate and within yourjourney in doing this and if
you would be so kind to shareyour story, because I know I
(08:52):
think what you do first of allis amazing, but what really
navigated me towards you to haveyou here as my guest is the
fact that you took somethingthat transpired and you've
you've brought it into what youare doing now.
So would you mind sharing thatstory?
Teres Flores (09:11):
Absolutely.
I will share a little bit aboutmy journey to parenthood, which
is, I would consider,absolutely unconventional
Unconventional.
So my husband and I were gotbecame married in 2015.
And in 2017, we we both knew welove children and always wanted
a big family, and so weactually became foster parents
(09:37):
and we fostered one little girland then we took a few month
break and then we have.
We were placed with a siblingset of boy and a girl and they
were two and three years old andwe, in the sense of past,
adopted them.
So we adopted them in January2023.
And, like, going back to what Ihad said, we always wanted a
(10:00):
large family.
We always wanted to make sureof bio children with adoptive
children.
We just weren't sure how wewere going to get there and when
and what combination.
So we actually adopted our didfinalize our adoption this past
January and, just in a goingback to 2021, I did become
pregnant with our first born andher 20 week ultrasound she was
(10:25):
diagnosed with a life limiting,extremely rare condition.
It was non genetic, it'sactually limb body wall complex
If any listeners out there haveever come across it or have any
connection to it and so we knewthat she was not going to
survive after after pregnancy.
(10:47):
So that became evident and wedid decide to carry her.
So we carried her.
Unknowingly, when I would givebirth at 31 weeks, my body went
into labor and because I hadexcess fluid and so I gave birth
to her via C section.
She did pass away at the birthwhen her umbilical cord was cut
(11:10):
and following that it becameextremely evident to me as I
arrived home and in the midst ofgrief and postpartum healing
and established, trying to keeptrack of your mental health and,
you know, managing two childrenthat are still in the foster
care system, that weren't yetadopted, it was a lot and people
(11:30):
didn't really know how to showup.
You know I had a few friendsstop over for a visit and they
brought over some gifts andactivities for the kids and that
was so wonderful.
I know my love language is isgifts, and so I really felt
loved by them.
But there was definitely somedark moments in the, you know,
(11:50):
the month and the the yearafterwards where there's really
no reference point for this typeof situation.
So people don't know how torespond and you know we we
didn't have a lot of familysupport or help.
So following my postpartumperiod I was left doing a lot of
in-home tasks, you know, on myown.
I remember, probably on day twoarriving home after my C-section
(12:14):
, I was walking around the houseand picking up laundry with my
toes and putting it in thewashing machine, just the
motherly instinct and me to keepthe home tidy, even though it
probably helped distract me aswell.
But you know, I feel that itreally left me in a dark space,
just not having a bunch ofsupport or any support.
Postpartum I had a wonderfulpostpartum doula that
(12:37):
volunteered 14 hours of her timefor bereavement services and
this is something that she doesas well.
She comes home after a familyarrives home without bringing
their baby and she offered me 14hours and it was a godsend and
she helped me with a few tips,with pumping a few suggestions,
but ultimately, you know, justhelp me with companionship tips,
(12:57):
just chatted with me and knewhow to ask questions and
acknowledge my baby's life andthat was so comforting for me,
you know, opposed to people thatwere close to me and didn't ask
, people who knew me and wereclose to me but didn't
necessarily know what to ask orif they should even mention my
baby's name.
So to have a professional in myhome for those very few short
(13:20):
hours was very comforting, andjust knowing she knew how to
navigate the situation wasreally wonderful, and that's
something that I strive for.
I don't want any mom to ever goback to, to ever be in the dark
space that I was in followingtheir birth, regardless of the
circumstance, whether it's alive birth or not, I think that
(13:41):
every mother deserves support,and that is something that I
strive to do and that has beenmy mission.
Coach Mikki (13:50):
Wow, I know, when you had originally told me the
story, I was speechless becauseyou're right, I don't think
people know how to react tosomething like that, or even
know what to say, and obviouslymy first thing I said to you was
I'm sorry for your loss, but Imean, that's just such a
statement to say because youtruly mean it.
But on the other hand, I wasfor lack of better word.
(14:13):
I was blown away by the factthat you have taken something so
, personal and intimate, and youhave taken it and structured
and used it for yourself, butnot only for you, but for other
people to be able to, to be ableto, if they you know, god
forbid they have to go throughthis or they do go through this
(14:35):
and show them hey, you're notalone, let me be there to help
you.
I guess what I'm trying to sayis offer the things to other
moms that you needed at the timewhen you were going through it
and you knowing exactly what tosay, exactly what to do, what to
be able to offer and help them,even just to give that gift of
(14:57):
saying, hey, you're not alone.
And I think sometimes, as humanbeings, having that it's just,
that little thing is, can beenough and it's just, it's just
amazing.
Someone like you I love havingon as my guest because it tells
other people out there that youknow what, there are people out
(15:17):
there that do really care andthat do understand and you're
not alone in your situation, andthe fact that you've even taken
it now to be able to help you.
You know moms later on, youknow with the, postpartum, the
place you help them.
You know what to buy and whatto do and educate them and help
them with the siblings, and thenyou know if they have to do
(15:39):
with something.
That's more on an emotionallevel.
I mean, you're like the wholepackage, girlfriend.
Teres Flores (15:44):
I try, I try to be .
It's something that says a lotabout you, because I think
sometimes, when we deal withsuch situations, that where we
get thrown towards us, and thefact, the choices that you've
made, you know, to bring you towhere you are, says a lot about
you too, and it just my gosh, Imean, your heart is bigger than
(16:07):
your body!.
And also to be able to go outand help other people With this.
You have your own children,which is awesome, and being able
to incorporate having your ownfamily.
So what are some of the funthings that you really enjoy
about?
About what you do?
I mean, what really like whenyou come home, you're just
(16:29):
smiling.
Oh, I have stories .
I mean you know you are meetingthe families and their most
vulnerable, vulnerable periods.
So there's lots of little.
You know funny things that goon and you know things that
probably everyone sort of braindead.
So I really enjoy connectingwith the parents.
The dads are really great.
(16:50):
I love the dads that are handson and super involved.
I really love working with thegrandparents.
They are so sweet I love.
You know a lot of thesefamilies have grandparents that
come into town and they mightfly in and stay with the family
when the baby arrives home.
And I think a lot of them havesort of become aware that you
(17:11):
know grandparents are there andthey want to hold the baby and
be grandparents and notnecessarily physically, maybe
help around the home andpractical areas and educate.
So that's where I come in and Ilove working alongside the
grandparents and incorporatingthem as well.
You know, if I help them withbabies first bath, the
grandparents love doing that.
I'll offer I'll shadow thegrandparents and I'll offer to
(17:32):
take some photos of them withbaby and they just love it.
So I really love learning.
Every family dynamic is sodifferent and you know work is
constantly changing, which Ilove, and you never know what
you're gonna walk into.
Coach Mikki (17:48):
I can hear the smile in your voice.
I can definitely tell you lovewhat you do and working with
these families.
You have been absolutelyamazing.
Well, let me ask you we got afew more minutes Do you have a
funny story you can share?
You don't have to say any namesor anything, but do you have
one good story that really justit's off the top of your head.
That's really funny.
Teres Flores (18:11):
Yes, I, actually I do.
I had a family this last springand, poor thing, it was not a
fun situation to go into, buttheir cat actually attacked
their house cleaner and sincethe cat had so much going on, a
(18:31):
new baby arriving home the housecleaner that was there, myself,
that was in and out of the homeand so the poor cat was just
overwhelmed and he was used tobeing the baby prior to baby's
arrival.
And these three other new, youknow, grew another team of new
people that were in the home.
So you know, this familyactually hired a cat psychic to
(18:55):
communicate with the cat and tolearn the cat's behavior.
So you know, it was quiteentertaining sort of relaying
information back to myself andlearning what the cat had
communicated to the family andwhat the true reason was while
he acted out that in addition to, you know, a good dose of
Prozac for the cat.
(19:16):
I think you can get to thetrick here here, like I said,
you never know what you arewalking into.
Coach Mikki (19:27):
Okay, I have to ask .
Well, first of all, I'm notlaughing about the cat psychic,
because I do know there arepeople I've met personally that
do work with animals and Itotally respect that and I think
that is an amazing thingbecause we all have our own
connections and our own gifts.
Why I'm laughing is becausethis poor woman she's not only
(19:48):
dealing with a newborn, but nowher poor cat is just in
emotional termoil and, like yousaid, you've got all these
other people Okay to follow upwith this story.
I have to know what was the endresult with the cat.
So what was communicated backto you that helped the situation
to fix this?
Teres Flores (20:09):
So the cat was nervous that the couple had been
talking about moving back tothe East Coast, so he had heard
them chatting, so he hadcommunicated with the animal
communicator I believe is whatthey call animal communicator
that he is nervous if anothermove is coming in his future and
(20:30):
he didn't want any more babiesto arrive in the home.
Okay, so, like I said, that wasaddition of Prozac.
He calmed down and he earnedhis keep and the family, the
family sent them back to theEast Coast and they're doing
great and I hope Locke, the catnamed Locke, is doing well as
well.
That is so sweet.
Coach Mikki (20:51):
That is so sweet.
Well, I'll tell you what youhave got the patience of an
angel you really do foreverything that you have to deal
with.
But you're right, you're cominginto people's homes and you're
dealing, and I didn't even thinkabout that.
I think about the siblings andgrandparents and other people
that are involved and you've gota completely different family
(21:14):
dynamic.
But you're right, I neverthought about it.
Now you've got to throw inanimals, because I know, even
for me, when I brought my sonhome, I had two corgis and one
of them was very close to me.
Her name was Holly, and Ididn't know how she was going to
react when I brought him homeand she never left my side.
She never left my side, shenever left his side, she
(21:36):
protected him, she wanted to benext to him and if I, because I
had a cesarium, so a lot oftimes it was easier for me to
sleep in the living room and beup and do what I needed to do,
and right next to me, right nextto him, she had to be close to
him.
So you're right, I mean, you'vegot other things and other
elements that you have to takeinto consideration.
(21:57):
But getting back to you as adoula and what you do to help
these families is, oh my gosh.
Like I said, if I had known youexisted, I definitely would
have had you in my house Becauseit, like I said, it's very
difficult the first couple ofweeks.
You know, like I said, even thehealing process, so we got a few
(22:18):
more minutes.
As you guys know, all theinformation and her website and
everything is going to be inembedded into the podcast and I
highly highly recommend that youguys reach out to Terese and be
able to connect with her ifyou're having a baby.
You know somebody's having ababy, but how can everybody
reach you?
Teres Flores (22:38):
Absolutely.
You can find me on Instagram atFika Newborn and online at
FikaNewborncom.
Coach Mikki (22:45):
Awesome, okay, and I highly recommend you guys
connect and you do virtual too,so someone else in the world
would like to reach out to you.
You're available.
Teres Flores (22:53):
Absolutely.
I have an online video platformthat I do video consultations
and meetups with, as well as onthe telephone.
Coach Mikki (23:02):
Right, and I'm so excited that you were with us
and thank you so much forsharing your story and your
insight.
I wish you an abundance ofsuccess.
I know, I know, one thingyou're always going to have
availability and work, because,as long as women are having
babies and they know that you,that someone like you, was out
(23:24):
there for them, I guaranteeyou're, you're always going to
have a full schedule.
Thank you so much for beingwith us, Teres, I appreciate you
.
Teres Flores (23:32):
You're very welcome, mickey.
It was a pleasure.
Coach Mikki (23:35):
All right, you guys , thank you so much for joining
us today.
Again, please reach out toTerese Flores and I will put all
that information into thepodcast.
And for those of you that areexcited about some of our other
new guests, I highly recommendyou reach out to them and keep
your comments, your questionsand please, please, please,
connect with me on my newYouTube channel, coach Mickey
(23:55):
and friends, and you can findthat on coach Mickey and
friendscom, and we have got somereally fun stuff coming up for
the holidays, and you guys knowthat we always have a good time,
especially now that it'spumpkin spice season and
everything else that followsafter that.
All right, remember, the mostcourageous thing you can do is
be yourself.
I love you guys and I will lookforward to seeing you next time
(24:17):
.
Bye.
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey and I'm so glad that
you've joined us, and if this isyour first time joining us,
come on in and make yourselfcomfortable.
And for those of you thatjoined us on a regular basis, we
are so glad that you do.
And I love the fact that youguys connect with all of our
guests and reach out to me withyour comments, your questions
and your suggestions of peopleto have on as guests.
You guys have been so much funand thank you so much for
(00:23):
connecting me on my new YouTubechannel.
I love the fact that my guestsare coming back and sharing all
their information and we'regoing to have some fun during
this holiday season and we havegot some great upcoming guests
Today.
I am really you guys know I'malways excited to have my guests
on.
That's why I have them on, butI am very excited to have on
(00:45):
this guest.
She offers something that isjust so cool and when I was a
mom especially as a new mom Iwould have given anything to
know about her and I am going tojust jump right in real quick
and tell you guys what she does,who she is, and let her tell
you her story and for those ofyou that are listening anywhere
in the world.
The good news is you're goingto be able to connect with her
(01:08):
anywhere in the world Once youfind out what you need.
I guarantee her phone is goingto be ringing off the hook, so
I'm going to jump right in.
Teres Flores is a doula, butfor those of you that know what
doulas are, she's got a littledifferent bit of a twist,
because she's going to help youwith newborns and postpartum and
she is going to help teach,educate and help you with that
(01:32):
new mom experience that wealways have, that we don't know
because they don't come with amanual.
So I'm just going to jump rightin and into and have you come
in and tell your story.
Thank you so much for joining metoday.
How are you?
I'm doing well.
Thank you, Mikki.
I am so glad to have you.
So when I heard what you do andyour passion, I was thrilled
(01:54):
because, like I said, for myselfI've got two children and they
don't come with a manual.
And you come in, especially ifyou come in as a mom who's had a
C-section and you're trying totake care of yourself and take
care of your family and takecare of a new child, Having
someone like you that comes inand offers this spectrum of a
gift and for no other words toput on it.
(02:14):
Tell me how you got startedwith this.
Teres Flores (02:19):
Absolutely.
So you know I've always beenaround newborns.
I'm the oldest of threesiblings that are triplets.
I was a toddler when they wereborn, so we had a, we went in
full swinging, had a live innanny.
So you know newborns are notsomething that was ever unknown
territory to me.
So I so, and then after that Iworked for at a family, a family
(02:44):
member, as a in-home day care.
So I worked there and thenduring my formal education I was
a nanny for a few families withthe newborns up until they were
five years old.
And I still keep in touch withthem today.
Nice yeah.
(03:06):
How do you connect with thefamilies?
Okay, so where?
Where does it start?
when you, when you come intosomeone's life?
Sure.
So I have mothers that book meand reach out and book me as
early as nine weeks pregnant.
Some mothers book me, you know,a month before their due date
and I absolutely try toaccommodate them on my schedule
(03:26):
in any way that I can if I haveavailability.
But to be quite honest, I'mright now I'm booked, you know,
for in-person through July of2024, but I do offer virtual and
your virtual and video supportthat I'm very flexible on.
So that's always an option foranyone interested in booking as
(03:48):
of now.
But you know I do so I do bookthem and then I they do have 24
seven access to me after priorto book sorry, following booking
, and they might come to me withquestions to relay back to
their OB, questions aboutpregnancy induction, c-section,
(04:10):
recovery if they're anticipatinga C-section.
So these are all things that wecan work on together and
collaborate on and create a planwith each family during their
time prior to baby's arrival.
So also right before usuallythey're due date, I'll pop in
and I'll do a meet and greet attheir home and go over the lay
(04:32):
of the land, show me baby'snursery, show me around the
kitchen, and it just relieves alittle bit more, less stress
after arriving home from thehospital and I show up at your
door we're not scrambling, so itjust helps ease the transition
of things.
And of course, if there is anolder sibling, I introduce
myself to the older sibling andwe work on a little bit of
(04:52):
sibling integration and how thatmight look.
And then I do keep two weeksopen, so I'm on call for the
birth two weeks before and aftertheir due date, of course, and
I hop on over the moment.
I'm there on the front lines assoon as they arrive home from
the hospital.
Coach Mikki (05:12):
That's amazing, especially to have somebody
that's available to come inBecause, like you said, that
moment, that timeframe,especially after having a child
I mean whether it's a naturalbirth or a cesarean that time of
healing and having that extraperson to be available is
definitely helpful, especiallyif you have a spouse that has to
work and they can't beavailable to be there again and
(05:35):
again.
That spouse too, if they areworking, it's up to the mom to
be able to get up, like you say,every two hours and have to be
there for a child.
But having that extra hand, Iknow there was one point with my
daughter.
Oh my gosh, she had colic and Iremember it was nights and
nights and nights of just hercrying and you're walking with
(05:56):
this child, and I remember thiswoman was a godsend.
So it was like two o'clock inthe morning and I hear a knock
at my front door and I look overand I see it's my neighbor.
Now I kind of knew her, but Ididn't.
And she came up, she's knockingon the door and I'm thinking,
oh my gosh, I probably woke herup, I probably woke up her kid
and she said Mick, let me helpyou, let me take her for a while
(06:19):
.
Go sit down, go relax.
She came into my house andwalked with my daughter for
almost three hours just so Icould sit and just relax and I
cannot tell you just that threehours alone was such a gift.
So having somebody like youthat is available to a new mom,
that can help them through allof these things, is definitely
(06:42):
priceless.
I have to ask how did you getstarted?
I know prior to us being on air, you had shared that you had
traveled through Europe and thathelped you with a little bit of
insight to bring your companytogether.
Teres Flores (06:57):
Absolutely yes.
So I took a trip in EasternEurope.
I have a friend that lives overthere and during 2014 and 15, I
stayed with her for a month ortwo and she happened to get
engaged to someone in Sweden.
She had been dating a man inSweden and upon their engagement
, they both flew back to Romaniaand I was staying with her
(07:18):
family and anticipating herarrival and some of the things
you know.
Obviously, I learned about eachculture, but something I
learned that the Swedish didthat I really liked the
tradition was it was called Fika, and Fika is the gathering
together of everyone in the home, just randomly, sporadically,
(07:44):
throughout the day.
They usually meet up in theafternoon.
They'll come to the living roomtable and enjoy coffee and tea
and a few sweets and just a timeto recoup and reconnect with
one another.
And that's what Fika is reallyall about is reconnecting,
taking the time to savor themoment, feeling well rested so
you can be there for your childand savor the moments with your
(08:06):
child, with your new baby thatyou brought home.
Coach Mikki (08:10):
Oh, I love that.
I know it's funny, becauseEurope has moments like that
where they just like to justdecompress and regroup.
So having that ability to dothat and incorporate it into
what you do as a family reallygives it a nice flow, a nice
easy way and a comforting zone.
(08:32):
You know comforting flow,excuse me.
So, wow, that is pretty awesome.
So, and again, and I know youhad shared something that was
kind of intimate and within yourjourney in doing this and if
you would be so kind to shareyour story, because I know I
(08:52):
think what you do first of allis amazing, but what really
navigated me towards you to haveyou here as my guest is the
fact that you took somethingthat transpired and you've
you've brought it into what youare doing now.
So would you mind sharing thatstory?
Teres Flores (09:11):
Absolutely.
I will share a little bit aboutmy journey to parenthood, which
is, I would consider,absolutely unconventional
Unconventional.
So my husband and I were gotbecame married in 2015.
And in 2017, we we both knew welove children and always wanted
a big family, and so weactually became foster parents
(09:37):
and we fostered one little girland then we took a few month
break and then we have.
We were placed with a siblingset of boy and a girl and they
were two and three years old andwe, in the sense of past,
adopted them.
So we adopted them in January2023.
And, like, going back to what Ihad said, we always wanted a
(10:00):
large family.
We always wanted to make sureof bio children with adoptive
children.
We just weren't sure how wewere going to get there and when
and what combination.
So we actually adopted our didfinalize our adoption this past
January and, just in a goingback to 2021, I did become
pregnant with our first born andher 20 week ultrasound she was
(10:25):
diagnosed with a life limiting,extremely rare condition.
It was non genetic, it'sactually limb body wall complex
If any listeners out there haveever come across it or have any
connection to it and so we knewthat she was not going to
survive after after pregnancy.
(10:47):
So that became evident and wedid decide to carry her.
So we carried her.
Unknowingly, when I would givebirth at 31 weeks, my body went
into labor and because I hadexcess fluid and so I gave birth
to her via C section.
She did pass away at the birthwhen her umbilical cord was cut
(11:10):
and following that it becameextremely evident to me as I
arrived home and in the midst ofgrief and postpartum healing
and established, trying to keeptrack of your mental health and,
you know, managing two childrenthat are still in the foster
care system, that weren't yetadopted, it was a lot and people
(11:30):
didn't really know how to showup.
You know I had a few friendsstop over for a visit and they
brought over some gifts andactivities for the kids and that
was so wonderful.
I know my love language is isgifts, and so I really felt
loved by them.
But there was definitely somedark moments in the, you know,
(11:50):
the month and the the yearafterwards where there's really
no reference point for this typeof situation.
So people don't know how torespond and you know we we
didn't have a lot of familysupport or help.
So following my postpartumperiod I was left doing a lot of
in-home tasks, you know, on myown.
I remember, probably on day twoarriving home after my C-section
(12:14):
, I was walking around the houseand picking up laundry with my
toes and putting it in thewashing machine, just the
motherly instinct and me to keepthe home tidy, even though it
probably helped distract me aswell.
But you know, I feel that itreally left me in a dark space,
just not having a bunch ofsupport or any support.
Postpartum I had a wonderfulpostpartum doula that
(12:37):
volunteered 14 hours of her timefor bereavement services and
this is something that she doesas well.
She comes home after a familyarrives home without bringing
their baby and she offered me 14hours and it was a godsend and
she helped me with a few tips,with pumping a few suggestions,
but ultimately, you know, justhelp me with companionship tips,
(12:57):
just chatted with me and knewhow to ask questions and
acknowledge my baby's life andthat was so comforting for me,
you know, opposed to people thatwere close to me and didn't ask
, people who knew me and wereclose to me but didn't
necessarily know what to ask orif they should even mention my
baby's name.
So to have a professional in myhome for those very few short
(13:20):
hours was very comforting, andjust knowing she knew how to
navigate the situation wasreally wonderful, and that's
something that I strive for.
I don't want any mom to ever goback to, to ever be in the dark
space that I was in followingtheir birth, regardless of the
circumstance, whether it's alive birth or not, I think that
(13:41):
every mother deserves support,and that is something that I
strive to do and that has beenmy mission.
Coach Mikki (13:50):
Wow, I know, when you had originally told me the
story, I was speechless becauseyou're right, I don't think
people know how to react tosomething like that, or even
know what to say, and obviouslymy first thing I said to you was
I'm sorry for your loss, but Imean, that's just such a
statement to say because youtruly mean it.
But on the other hand, I wasfor lack of better word.
(14:13):
I was blown away by the factthat you have taken something so
, personal and intimate, and youhave taken it and structured
and used it for yourself, butnot only for you, but for other
people to be able to, to be ableto, if they you know, god
forbid they have to go throughthis or they do go through this
(14:35):
and show them hey, you're notalone, let me be there to help
you.
I guess what I'm trying to sayis offer the things to other
moms that you needed at the timewhen you were going through it
and you knowing exactly what tosay, exactly what to do, what to
be able to offer and help them,even just to give that gift of
(14:57):
saying, hey, you're not alone.
And I think sometimes, as humanbeings, having that it's just,
that little thing is, can beenough and it's just, it's just
amazing.
Someone like you I love havingon as my guest because it tells
other people out there that youknow what, there are people out
(15:17):
there that do really care andthat do understand and you're
not alone in your situation, andthe fact that you've even taken
it now to be able to help you.
You know moms later on, youknow with the, postpartum, the
place you help them.
You know what to buy and whatto do and educate them and help
them with the siblings, and thenyou know if they have to do
(15:39):
with something.
That's more on an emotionallevel.
I mean, you're like the wholepackage, girlfriend.
Teres Flores (15:44):
I try, I try to be .
It's something that says a lotabout you, because I think
sometimes, when we deal withsuch situations, that where we
get thrown towards us, and thefact, the choices that you've
made, you know, to bring you towhere you are, says a lot about
you too, and it just my gosh, Imean, your heart is bigger than
(16:07):
your body!.
And also to be able to go outand help other people With this.
You have your own children,which is awesome, and being able
to incorporate having your ownfamily.
So what are some of the funthings that you really enjoy
about?
About what you do?
I mean, what really like whenyou come home, you're just
(16:29):
smiling.
Oh, I have stories .
I mean you know you are meetingthe families and their most
vulnerable, vulnerable periods.
So there's lots of little.
You know funny things that goon and you know things that
probably everyone sort of braindead.
So I really enjoy connectingwith the parents.
The dads are really great.
(16:50):
I love the dads that are handson and super involved.
I really love working with thegrandparents.
They are so sweet I love.
You know a lot of thesefamilies have grandparents that
come into town and they mightfly in and stay with the family
when the baby arrives home.
And I think a lot of them havesort of become aware that you
(17:11):
know grandparents are there andthey want to hold the baby and
be grandparents and notnecessarily physically, maybe
help around the home andpractical areas and educate.
So that's where I come in and Ilove working alongside the
grandparents and incorporatingthem as well.
You know, if I help them withbabies first bath, the
grandparents love doing that.
I'll offer I'll shadow thegrandparents and I'll offer to
(17:32):
take some photos of them withbaby and they just love it.
So I really love learning.
Every family dynamic is sodifferent and you know work is
constantly changing, which Ilove, and you never know what
you're gonna walk into.
Coach Mikki (17:48):
I can hear the smile in your voice.
I can definitely tell you lovewhat you do and working with
these families.
You have been absolutelyamazing.
Well, let me ask you we got afew more minutes Do you have a
funny story you can share?
You don't have to say any namesor anything, but do you have
one good story that really justit's off the top of your head.
That's really funny.
Teres Flores (18:11):
Yes, I, actually I do.
I had a family this last springand, poor thing, it was not a
fun situation to go into, buttheir cat actually attacked
their house cleaner and sincethe cat had so much going on, a
(18:31):
new baby arriving home the housecleaner that was there, myself,
that was in and out of the homeand so the poor cat was just
overwhelmed and he was used tobeing the baby prior to baby's
arrival.
And these three other new, youknow, grew another team of new
people that were in the home.
So you know, this familyactually hired a cat psychic to
(18:55):
communicate with the cat and tolearn the cat's behavior.
So you know, it was quiteentertaining sort of relaying
information back to myself andlearning what the cat had
communicated to the family andwhat the true reason was while
he acted out that in addition to, you know, a good dose of
Prozac for the cat.
(19:16):
I think you can get to thetrick here here, like I said,
you never know what you arewalking into.
Coach Mikki (19:27):
Okay, I have to ask .
Well, first of all, I'm notlaughing about the cat psychic,
because I do know there arepeople I've met personally that
do work with animals and Itotally respect that and I think
that is an amazing thingbecause we all have our own
connections and our own gifts.
Why I'm laughing is becausethis poor woman she's not only
(19:48):
dealing with a newborn, but nowher poor cat is just in
emotional termoil and, like yousaid, you've got all these
other people Okay to follow upwith this story.
I have to know what was the endresult with the cat.
So what was communicated backto you that helped the situation
to fix this?
Teres Flores (20:09):
So the cat was nervous that the couple had been
talking about moving back tothe East Coast, so he had heard
them chatting, so he hadcommunicated with the animal
communicator I believe is whatthey call animal communicator
that he is nervous if anothermove is coming in his future and
(20:30):
he didn't want any more babiesto arrive in the home.
Okay, so, like I said, that wasaddition of Prozac.
He calmed down and he earnedhis keep and the family, the
family sent them back to theEast Coast and they're doing
great and I hope Locke, the catnamed Locke, is doing well as
well.
That is so sweet.
Coach Mikki (20:51):
That is so sweet.
Well, I'll tell you what youhave got the patience of an
angel you really do foreverything that you have to deal
with.
But you're right, you're cominginto people's homes and you're
dealing, and I didn't even thinkabout that.
I think about the siblings andgrandparents and other people
that are involved and you've gota completely different family
(21:14):
dynamic.
But you're right, I neverthought about it.
Now you've got to throw inanimals, because I know, even
for me, when I brought my sonhome, I had two corgis and one
of them was very close to me.
Her name was Holly, and Ididn't know how she was going to
react when I brought him homeand she never left my side.
She never left my side, shenever left his side, she
(21:36):
protected him, she wanted to benext to him and if I, because I
had a cesarium, so a lot oftimes it was easier for me to
sleep in the living room and beup and do what I needed to do,
and right next to me, right nextto him, she had to be close to
him.
So you're right, I mean, you'vegot other things and other
elements that you have to takeinto consideration.
(21:57):
But getting back to you as adoula and what you do to help
these families is, oh my gosh.
Like I said, if I had known youexisted, I definitely would
have had you in my house Becauseit, like I said, it's very
difficult the first couple ofweeks.
You know, like I said, even thehealing process, so we got a few
(22:18):
more minutes.
As you guys know, all theinformation and her website and
everything is going to be inembedded into the podcast and I
highly highly recommend that youguys reach out to Terese and be
able to connect with her ifyou're having a baby.
You know somebody's having ababy, but how can everybody
reach you?
Teres Flores (22:38):
Absolutely.
You can find me on Instagram atFika Newborn and online at
FikaNewborncom.
Coach Mikki (22:45):
Awesome, okay, and I highly recommend you guys
connect and you do virtual too,so someone else in the world
would like to reach out to you.
You're available.
Teres Flores (22:53):
Absolutely.
I have an online video platformthat I do video consultations
and meetups with, as well as onthe telephone.
Coach Mikki (23:02):
Right, and I'm so excited that you were with us
and thank you so much forsharing your story and your
insight.
I wish you an abundance ofsuccess.
I know, I know, one thingyou're always going to have
availability and work, because,as long as women are having
babies and they know that you,that someone like you, was out
(23:24):
there for them, I guaranteeyou're, you're always going to
have a full schedule.
Thank you so much for beingwith us, Teres, I appreciate you
.
Teres Flores (23:32):
You're very welcome, mickey.
It was a pleasure.
Coach Mikki (23:35):
All right, you guys , thank you so much for joining
us today.
Again, please reach out toTerese Flores and I will put all
that information into thepodcast.
And for those of you that areexcited about some of our other
new guests, I highly recommendyou reach out to them and keep
your comments, your questionsand please, please, please,
connect with me on my newYouTube channel, coach Mickey
(23:55):
and friends, and you can findthat on coach Mickey and
friendscom, and we have got somereally fun stuff coming up for
the holidays, and you guys knowthat we always have a good time,
especially now that it'spumpkin spice season and
everything else that followsafter that.
All right, remember, the mostcourageous thing you can do is
be yourself.
I love you guys and I will lookforward to seeing you next time
(24:17):
.
Bye.
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