Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey
and I'm so glad that you've
joined us, and if this is yourfirst time joining us, come on
in to make yourself comfortable.
As you can see, I'm prettycomfortable today because I am
really thrilled that I have gotback on this guest.
Her and I have had anopportunity to collaborate and
do some great things, and shehas got some amazing insight
that is not only just gonna helpyou with whatever you're doing,
(00:23):
but even as a person, and Ilove these conversations.
So I was so glad that she saidhey, let me stop by and let's
just run some things through andtalk, and I'm like so I got my
coffee, I'm in my sweatshirt andwe are gonna have fun so and
learn a little bit of somethingand I'm sure I will too, but I
know it's gonna give you someincredible insight.
So thank you for coming backand reaching out to me and going
(00:45):
hey, mick, let's do this.
Welcome, sensei Nancy.
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm fabulous thank
you, and I have to say that I
have on my peacock color.
This reminds me of a peacockand the reason is, when I went
on my mindfulness walk today Ido that every day I was walking
and my mindfulness walk is allabout looking around me.
You know like I take my phonebut that's usually because I
(01:11):
wanna take a picture ofsomething, but the ringer's off
and all of that, so I'm totallyjust looking around.
It's asking the universe, likewhat am I supposed to see today?
What are you gonna share withme today?
And like, out of the corner ofmy eye, I saw something kind of
like pop up and I looked oh mygosh, the most beautiful peacock
was just walking around myneighborhood.
(01:33):
And I was, I know.
I was like what?
And what's really cool is lastSaturday or Sunday, when I was
on my walk, I ran into myneighbor's down the street and
the husband was saying to mehave you seen the peacock that's
been walking around theneighborhood?
And I said no, I really wannasee it.
Oh, I hope I see it.
(01:54):
And he goes yeah, we haven'tseen it for a couple months, but
it usually comes aroundsometime.
And I said I'm gonna be on thelookout for it.
And today, there you go.
So like I'm in peacock modetoday, how's that.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I love it.
I love it.
Now I can ask were you wearingthe shirt before or did you put
it on after?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
No, I put it on in
honor of the peacock sighting
today.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I love it.
That's awesome.
Well, you've had some greatstories because you've shared
with me on and off air, with howyour walks have actually opened
up insight to you or downloadsand giving you answers, and we
had that discussion aboutsometimes just being peaceful
and doing what we enjoy the mostopens up the doors.
(02:37):
We didn't expect.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Exactly.
Yes, of course it's good for me, the exercise wise, but I don't
like try to fast walk, I don'ttry to get in a certain amount
of steps, I just go with theflow.
And there's this beautifulBanyan tree down the street for
me that I pass it every day onmy walk and I have found myself
(03:00):
like I actually walk past thetree and look up at her I think
it's a hymn and say good morning, your Majesty.
I mean it's so big and you knowit's been there for years and
years and years, and I can'thelp but feel like, what are you
sharing with me today?
And you know not to sound likeI'm all you know talking to the
(03:20):
trees, but maybe I am.
It's all good, but we get somuch from nature and when we
talk about being grounded, thathappens when you are on a
mindfulness walk, meaning thatyou're not, you know, listening
with earbuds in and you're notcanceling out things around you,
because I actually walk out mydriveway, I walk out the gate
(03:42):
and I say what do you wannashare with me today?
And it's so interesting how,like bam, I get this download or
these thoughts come to me andI'm like, oh okay, so that's
what we're going to think abouttoday, and that's what happiness
is all about.
Right, it's like when you stayin the moment and you realize
(04:07):
what am I thinking about and howam I feeling about what I'm
thinking about?
Now you realize, okay, I'meither no-transcript you really
strongly connected with my innerbeing, or I'm kind of like
drifting away.
And so we always, we have allthe power we do, but we think,
you know, oh, something's gottahappen in order for me to feel
(04:30):
really wonderful.
But it's not, it's simply achoice every second, every
second, and I'm especially tunedinto that when I go on my
mindfulness walk.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I love the fact that
you say mindfulness walk,
because a lot of times people goout and their brain is still on
work, it's still on what'shappening, instead of just
allowing things to just relaxand come to you the way they do.
And you and I were talkingbefore we came on about how we
always wait for things to be ourperfect selves.
You know how we always want, wealways wear these masks that
(05:06):
you know.
We want people to see us in acertain way, in a certain light,
and that's not reality.
That's not who we are as people, and I think we're coming to
understand that.
It's just allowing yourself tojust feel and be who you are and
surround yourself with those,and you offer an incredible
environment.
Besides teaching this about themindfulness and you know them,
(05:29):
understanding you're in yourselfbut you also offer a program
that you have people come to ona regular basis where they
allows them just to be who theyare.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Exactly, yeah, and I
call it the dojo in honor of my
martial arts background, andsometime last year I felt guided
to create this online space forwomen to show up every week,
and there's a different topicevery week that we discuss about
mindfulness or reminding us ofwhy we are so powerful, and then
(06:02):
we have a conversation as agroup around this topic.
So it's not just me like saying, oh, let me talk to you today.
It's me sharing a topic, andthen we all chime in and talk
about how it's lighting us up orhow it's impacting us in the
moment.
And the cool thing about thatis is we are getting this
(06:24):
feedback from everyone who is onthe conversation.
And so, because you know, likeI might say something and
someone else might, their mindmight go in a completely
different direction that Ididn't think about, and it's
about having a space for womento show up, much like we do in
the karate dojo.
(06:44):
You know all about that.
You know when we're going fromwhite belt to black belt, what
do we do?
We show up every day, and thereare times when we're like, oh,
I can't figure this out, or Idon't know what I'm doing, or oh
, I don't really feel like beinghere today, and it's not just
us showing up, it's everyoneelse that showed up that is
(07:06):
creating that energy for oursuccess and that's the mindset
that I created with this onlinegroup that we meet every week.
And you know I could, you knowwe've talked, I could talk about
martial arts all day long, so,but that's it's really exciting
for me.
(07:26):
And I had someone call me justthis morning and she had
attended one of the dojomeetings a couple of weeks ago
and she said I'm calling toapologize to you because that
day that I showed up, I wasreally in, you know, this low
space and not feeling very goodabout myself.
I'm going through something andI said before you keep going,
(07:49):
I'm just gonna stop you rightthere and let you know there is
nothing for you to apologize for.
That's what this group is allabout.
It's about us being allowed toshow up authentically and
however you're feeling, you'refeeling Maybe you're there
because you need to be picked upand maybe you're there to pick
somebody else up.
It's just like I don't know,maybe Saturday or Sunday, when I
(08:10):
was on my mindfulness walk, Iwas towards the end of the walk
and I was in front of this bigbanyan tree and I had this idea
to oh, I'm right now I need toshare this thought on video, and
normally that's not what I do.
Like I said, I have the phonewith me because there's
oftentimes I want to takepictures of something, but I
(08:32):
felt so strongly to show thismessage so I said, okay, I'm
gonna do this right now.
So I'm holding up the phone andI'm taking this video.
And it didn't really dawn on meuntil afterwards and I watched
the video again, that I'm like,oh my gosh, I've got on my sun
hat and it's crooked, and mysunglasses and I'm kind of like
I'll sweaty and my face is redand everything and I'm like that
(08:54):
doesn't exactly like.
And then I thought, no, I knowthat this message came to me for
a reason, so I'm going to putit out there.
However, it came to me and it'sreally it's time for women to
stop thinking and believing thatwe have to show up like June
Cleaver.
You know when Ward comes homefrom work, you know it's about
(09:14):
being authentic and whateverthat looks like for you.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And you're so right,
because I think, see, look, look
, I'm looking at this now andwhen you were talking, I'm like
I can feel this, you know, okay,but you know what?
Though?
You've got a gift, and when youhave something that you have to
offer and it needs to come out,honestly, looking past, we're
all.
We look at ourselves and go Iwant everything to be perfect, I
want my hair to be good, I wantmy makeup, and there's so many
(09:41):
times I've gone on or I've donevideos and I'm like, looking
back and going, maybe mycamera's blurry or something
happened, and I put the messagewas so strong that if you're
getting caught up that mycamera's blurry and there was, I
sneezed, or I got a kid cryingin the background, or whatever
you know for my guests then youknow you're missing the whole
point, and I think so.
(10:01):
You know, I was writing down acouple of days ago and it came
to me and I thought you know,even a perfect rose still has
thorns.
There is no such thing asperfection, you know, and I was
writing that down when I waswriting in my journal, my book,
and I was like this is so true.
And I want to back up a littlebit, because for those of you
that maybe don't not aware ofthe martial arts dojo, dojo
(10:24):
means learning place.
It also means place of peacepeace for yourself, and it's
also for a place for you tolearn.
Now, you know Nancy goes bySensei Nancy, and rightfully so,
because she is a teacher.
So she is teaching you, youknow, in her dojo, how to find a
place of peace within yourself,and I think that's brilliant
(10:47):
because, as we know, martialarts is more than just kicking
and punching.
It's also finding your owninner strength and who you are
and being able to bring that tothe world too and build
character.
So I love how you did that,that brilliance of doing that,
but also, like you said,realizing that you know it would
(11:07):
be perfect.
You've got a gift.
You're unique.
Whoever you are, there's nobodyelse like you, and it doesn't
matter if you're wearing asweatshirt, you're wearing a
suit or you're wearing yogapants.
You have got an incredible giftand let it shine.
Let it shine.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
And you know what
came to me when you were saying
that, mickey, is that you know,there was a period of time when,
okay, women didn't really goout in public and do public
things, and then they starteddoing that.
And then they had to, you knowkind of dress, the part, the
business part, and they had towear the suits and skirts.
And then it was like, okay, nowI can wear pants, suits.
(11:44):
And you know, gradually we'relike, no, I'm gonna be
comfortable, I'm gonna do this.
But when you think about whathappened during COVID, the whole
world shut down and everyonegot really comfortable.
Yeah, there was a lot going on,but we were sequestered and
after the world opened up and westarted coming out of our, you
(12:07):
know, sequestered space, werealized like I like that
feeling of being comfortable, Iwant to show up being
comfortable and I feel that abig part of that is because so
much energy shifted during thattimeframe and it was much like
(12:27):
the energy when we went from thedark ages to the Renaissance
era.
I don't know what we're callingthis shift of energy that is
taking place right now, but it'sreally about being authentic,
really loving yourself, reallyasking yourself in the moment,
how am I feeling and is thiswhat's best for me?
(12:50):
And being selfish and if thatfeels harsh to people, maybe you
could replace that word withself-preserving.
But self-preserving to me kindof sounds like you know, I don't
know, like you're puttingsomething on hold.
But we're not used to beingselfish and we're all here to be
selfish.
(13:10):
But the thing is it's reallyimportant to remember everyone
is here to be selfish.
So what I'm doing selfishly forme and what you're doing
selfishly for you, like rightnow, we're both doing what's
selfish for both of us.
And because we're so alignedenergetically and vibrationally,
we're having this beautifulconversation and that's the
(13:33):
allowing part of flow and lovingwho you are and paying
attention to what energy blocksare you coming up against and
what are they teaching you andletting it go and feeling good
in the moment and we hold allthe power.
The thing is is we've beentaught to give our power away to
(13:54):
other people and we think, oh,I have to please you before I
can please me, and that's notbeing selfish.
So it's always about what areyou doing, what am I doing for
me, what are you doing for you?
And when we're all doing what'sbest for our highest, most
expanded self that we canpossibly feel in the moment.
We really are making changesthat we probably don't even
(14:18):
realize we're making.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Well, and you were
grasping at the word and I agree
with you and my head was didyou see the smoke?
Because I was thinking Ithought you were saying it and I
came up with it.
You know what I thought?
No, we're not being selfish.
Self care, exactly.
And I think of it in this waybecause I know you're helping so
many people, I know you give somuch time and energy to other
(14:42):
people and you are the mostgenerous and kindest and
outgoing person.
I know that is the first onealigned to say how can I help,
what can I do?
So I don't selfish, doesn't?
It just doesn't fit, becausepeople think of selfish as
you're self-preserving, youdon't do anything, and that's
not true.
So I think self care is anotherelement that we can look at and
(15:06):
kind of replace that word, butit's vital.
It's crucial because if we'renot taking care of ourselves and
I did a podcast a while with myfriend Jackie and she was
talking about how she wasgetting in touch with herself
and she knew to start takingcare of herself and she said it
reminded me of the airplane youknow that was the first thing
they tell you to do Put theostrich mask on yourself first,
(15:28):
then take care of other people.
Well, if you're stuck in air andcan't breathe, you're not gonna
be able to help anybody else.
Exactly, and it's the samething with self care.
You know, if you're not takingcare of yourself and you're not
finding your own peace.
And you've done your own selfwork and you've evolved as a
person I mean you and I have hadsome intense conversations and
(15:51):
it's been years and insight andwork to go.
This is how I was, this iswhere I you know how I thought,
and now we've come to thisevolution emotionally.
You know that has helped uswithin ourselves, but also
physically, but also the outsidepeople we surround ourselves
(16:12):
with, and I know that for thepeople that you work with,
because that's what you offer-yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And you know
something else that came up for
me when you were saying that isself loving.
We could go from selfish toself care, to self loving and
you know, really think aboutwhat are we doing to be self
loving.
And all of the work that I do,everything is a compilation of
where I came from to where I amright now.
And you know, my childhood wasvery traumatic.
(16:43):
I had experienced mental abuse,verbal abuse, physical abuse
that escalated to sexual abuseby the age of 12.
So when you think about thatspace of time and what my child
self took on and what shebelieved about not being worthy,
(17:03):
and you know the shame and theguilt and the obligation and all
of those feelings, those aresomething that we take on, our
child self takes on as ouridentity, and then we create
beliefs around that, beliefsbased on how we view the world.
And that's why I really lovetalking to people about
(17:27):
mastering their beliefs, becausewe bring those beliefs with us
into adulthood and then we don'teven realize that that's what's
keeping us from the self care,the self love, and it's a choice
, though at any given momentit's a choice Do I want to
believe this about me or do Iwant to believe that about me?
(17:48):
And we have a choice about whatwe want to believe.
But if we're still beingtriggered by the emotions,
that's where we're being giventhe opportunity to do the inner
work.
So I think, too a lot of people, I feel that a lot of people
fear inner work because theythink, oh, I'm going to have to
get in touch with something Idon't want to look at or I don't
(18:10):
know, talk about something thatI'm ashamed of.
And, first of all, it's aboutfinding the right person to talk
to when you're doing the innerwork.
But second of all, it's themost freeing thing you can do
for yourself, and what a gift ofself love that is.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You're right.
You're right, and it takes alot of courage to talk about
something that's transpired andhappened, you know, for you to
be able to share and say this iswhat happened to me and this is
how I've dealt with it and howit's affected my life.
That takes a lot of courage andsome people are afraid.
However, offering a safe spaceis the most important thing and
(18:49):
that's what you do in your dojo,because I do know you offer
that safe space.
You know, whether it's one onone or within a group, and
finding that is the most crucialpart of what you want to do and
be able to do that.
And I've noticed over the yearsdealing and talking about
things that have happened in mylife, being able to talk about
it.
The more you talk about it, themore you share.
(19:11):
It heals, it's healing in itself, it's, you know, it's get it
out, let it purge, because whenyou hold it in, you're just all
you're doing is you're creating.
You know, first of all,physically, it's not going to
help you.
I mean, it's like what do theysay?
Stress is like little razorblades in your body.
You know, emotionally, it'salways in the back of your mind
and that's not, you're not goingto grow from that.
(19:32):
It's whether it's journaling,whether it's, you know, meeting
being a safe spot, whether it.
But the acknowledgement, likeyou said, is the most crucial
and important thing.
But then you take somethinglike you've been through and,
instead of allowing it to be thedetriment and hold you back,
you've empowered yourself to useit as something and you're in
(19:55):
control of what happened.
That feeling and that situationis no longer controlling you.
That's huge.
That's huge.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
It is, and when
you're still being impacted by
those negative emotions.
And you understand thatemotions are energy and motion.
So it's that energy in the bodythat's creating all those
negative feelings.
It's like you're shootingyourself from the inside out
over and over and you're like,oh my gosh, when is this going
(20:25):
to be done?
And that's what led me tomartial arts, because I thought,
okay, I need to go findsomething where I can kick ass
and take names, instead ofpeople kicking my ass and, you
know, doing things to me.
And I just thank God every dayfor martial arts and what it's
done for me.
And but we know, the more youstudy, the more you start to
(20:48):
grasp the philosophy and themindset and the energy and the
Chi.
And you start to ask yourselfdifferent questions like, well,
it's not just about being ableto fight physically, it's about
knowing your inner strength,like you talked about earlier.
And I'm telling you, whensomeone can you know, when I
(21:09):
work with someone it's like,okay, you can skip all the years
of martial arts that I take,let me just bring you right here
where you are right now.
And it's just, I love my life,I love that I get to share these
philosophies and this mindsetand and I say that a lot that I
(21:30):
share it.
And I learned that years andyears and years ago from a book
called Zen in the Martial Artsby Joe Himes, and at that time,
you know, he was studying withMr Perker, who is the you know,
kempo Karate, my style of karateand I was so enamored by his
(21:52):
book.
And one of the things that hesaid is I'm going to share my
art with you.
I'm not going to teach you todo it my way, because when I
share something, we're walking apath together and I'm
paraphrasing here.
But but he said, when I teachyou, then you feel like you have
to do it my way.
And I've always tried toremember that.
(22:13):
I've not tried to.
I always remember that.
You know, when I'm working withsomeone, when I'm having a
conversation with someone, it'snot about me.
It's not about me saying, well,I think it should be this way,
or if you did this, this wouldhappen.
It's really about sharing thisjourney together, of this
conversation together, and whatare we both getting out of it?
(22:34):
And because everything we dowith someone else, whether it's
something that we're posting onsocial media or whether it's a
conversation we're having with aperson.
However we're showing up, thereis someone else being impacted
or something else being impacted, and that has a ripple effect.
(22:54):
So how we're showing up forourselves, it's a gift for
ourselves and it's a gift forothers.
Now you're right?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
well, first of all,
it's very rare that you ever
hear somebody say I love my life.
I mean that's rare, it's a rarequality and I cannot tell you
how many years it took me to go.
I actually like who I am, Iactually like me.
I mean, that took years andyou're right, it's like we have
something to offer and your jobis we're just giving you the
(23:25):
tools.
Whatever you decide to do withit is up to you.
When I was coaching one of myteams at the end of the year,
they gave me a gift and theygave me a plaque that said a
good coach wins game.
A great coach changes lives, andit's not just as a coach, it's
as a teacher, it's who youpeople look up to you.
(23:45):
You're gonna have somebody inyour life that looks up to you
as a mentor, because they go toyou for insight and information.
Could be your friends, could beyour kids, could be your family
, could be just even yourself.
You have got to be your ownmentor to go.
Hey, what am I available forand what am I not?
And within that, but what agift.
(24:07):
I mean, like I said, it's sucha rarity for somebody to say I
love my life.
I mean that's and you know, andthis didn't happen overnight
for you.
I mean, this was a lot of.
This was a journey.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
It was?
Yeah, it was.
And then, just when I thought Iwas getting where I needed to
be, my marriage of 32 yearsimploded and fell apart and I
went through a divorce andliterally lost everything.
I'm saying everything when Isay everything, I'm telling you
everything and you think toyourself gosh, how can this be
(24:39):
happening?
Right when I feel like I'mgetting everything together?
But the thing is is that it'sreally shift things that are
shifting for you and again,nothing has meaning other than
the meaning you're going to giveit.
So we look at a situation andwe say, oh, I'm giving this.
The meaning of my life isfalling apart and you know, when
(25:02):
you're being negativelyimpacted emotionally, it's very
difficult to say, oh, we, I'mgoing through a divorce, oh what
?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
am I gonna learn here
you?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
know we don't do that
kind of stuff, but so we have
to sit through it.
However long we have to sitthrough it, and that's good,
because that's teaching ussomething as well.
But something that came to meon one of my walks was hindsight
is really the opportunity tosee something that was always
(25:34):
there but we couldn't see at thetime.
And I'm like gosh, that isreally powerful.
You know, when you think aboutit, it's like it's a reminder
that the universe is alwaysthere for us, we're always being
supported, everything is alwaysworking out for us, and it's
(25:54):
the stories that we tellourselves that either propel us
forward or keep us goingbackwards.
And that's why I love I haveone workshop that I teach.
It's called Going Beyond yourStory, because it's like okay,
so what story are you tellingyourself now?
All right, so how can we gobeyond that?
And when you keep askingyourself now how can I go beyond
that?
And how can I?
(26:15):
Until you really get up to thatresistance of like look, all
right, now I'm at the point thatI'm the queen of England and I
just don't know where else I cango.
You know, and it's really, it'sfun.
I mean, everything happens inthe mind first anyway.
So if you're going to createsomething negative in your mind,
you might as well learn how tocreate something positive, you
(26:37):
know, master your beliefs andcreate something positive.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Very powerful.
That's so true because you'reright, everything we do is based
on our thoughts.
It's like what are you sayingto yourself?
You know, and if you'reconstantly telling yourself the
same story, you know you mightas well do this.
You might as well go recordhere, just listen.
I don't need to say it again,it's already recorded.
Yeah, but you've got.
You have the ability to changethat recording.
(27:01):
You know, I find myselfsometimes when I'm thinking
about my past or somethingtriggers something in me and I
go wait a minute, this isn'ttrue.
Why am I still believing thisand I'll go delete?
No, rewrite it.
Rewrite it.
This is not gonna doesn't workfor me anymore.
I'm not gonna keep believingthis.
(27:21):
And but then again, it comesdown to to the knowledge and
understanding that you know Iwanna.
We're so close in time and Ican sit and talk for hours with
you.
That's why I love having youcome back.
You know, I want you to comeback because we need to have
more conversations like this,just to sit and have a cup of
coffee and do this.
However, with that being said,I know there's gonna be people
and I that wanna reach out toyou, and I really want people to
(27:43):
reach out to you because youoffer a safe space and you've
got such a welcoming way with nomatter what anybody's been
through, they can easily sit andtalk to you and you.
You sit there with a kind heartand an open mind.
So how can and the links willall be down below too, but how
can people reach out to you?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
The best way to get
ahold of me is go to my website.
Everything is theremasteringyourbeliefscom.
Every way you wanna get aholdof me, it's right there.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
All right, well,
thanks, nancy, that was fun.
We gotta get together and dothis again.
I definitely wanna get togetherand do this on a regular basis,
because you've got a lot ofinsight and just sitting and
having good conversations, likeyou know, we need this.
I think we need it as friends,we need it as women, we need it
as people Exactly.
Thank you, mickey.
(28:33):
All right, thank you so much,you guys.
I will look forward to seeingyou on our next episode, and I
don't know if you can hear thatin the background because I've
got my windows open and I've gotmy truck going by, so if you've
heard it, I apologize.
Thank you so much.
If you didn't hear what Nancysaid, please the information
will be down below Please reachout to her.
(28:53):
Until then, remember, the mostcourageous thing you can do is
be yourself.
Until our next episode, I'llsee ya.