Reflective Coaching: The Power of Pause

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Reflective coaching is not what it sounds like, at
least in terms of the way we'reabout to describe it.
When you take the time to think, reflect, absorb, digest
especially when you havesituations where you're in the
heat of the moment, such asgetting feedback or you just
heard of a major change, justheard of a major change when we

(00:27):
reflect, when we think, when wereally give careful
consideration to how we're goingto react, I think most people
would agree we're going to bemore rational, more logical and
think through things more deeply.
In Progress Coaching, we havelaunched our own approach to
coaching that involvesnon-calendar-based coaching
called cadence, and cadence is acombination of three main

(00:49):
things Content.
We use content videos, quotes,statements, documents, questions
and that will prompt the personto think, absorb.
We use it to fuel their mindand then they answer something
called question sets.
The question sets areessentially coaching questions

(01:11):
we could ask in person or in avirtual setting.
And then the third thing thatis really interesting is we then
see how they're thinking, weview their question sets and
then what we do is we respond,and then we have what we call an
asynchronous coachingconversation.
Now why do we call itreflective coaching?

(01:33):
It's really called cadencecoaching.
In this podcast I'm going tocall it reflective coaching.
Let me give you an example.
Recently we had somebody gothrough a seven-day mini cadence
coaching initiative onmotivation and we put in all
these really inspiring videosand one of them is by Denzel

(01:54):
Washington and he has a greatvideo that's called I think it's
called Fall Down Seven Times,get Up Eight, and he talks about
this and motivation and howwork is hard and life is hard.
And after seven days you knowwe had sent really a piece of
content in their software thatwe use in cadence and they would

(02:18):
get something every two days.
So the program really went over14 days.
And then this person would askanswer question sets, really
coaching questions like what didyou take from the video?
What did you learn aboutyourself?
What are you committed tolearning?
What are you committed to doing?
What are two things you'regoing to do starting tomorrow
morning?
And what we started to noticeis that the answers became more
robust.

(02:39):
And then we would collaborateand we always collaborate by
sending a video or an audiomessage, speaking directly to
the client in terms of whatthey're achieving.
And after 14 days I called thisgentleman.
I said how are you feeling?
He said, honestly, was thatimpactful, somewhat impactful?
Not impactful, he saidimpactful.

(03:00):
He said I felt different afterevery video and I said how did
you feel after the questions?
He said, well, I took yoursuggestion.
I did not respond right away, Idigested.
And then you told me to digestwhen you give me coaching, more
coaching questions, or maybefeedback via video or audio, and
I found myself really thinkingmore deeply myself really

(03:27):
thinking more deeply.
So one of the best things thatwe can do is to give people
content, provocative thoughtquotes, to give them different
ways to think, look at things,to gain perspective and
ultimately, what happened?
Was it allowed at least thisperson and certainly many of our

(03:47):
clients to find the thing?
Why do I share all of thisunder the guise of reflective
coaching?
You know, our famous example isthis when you think about
reflection and what time doesfor you, if you ever had that
argument with a friend, and youboth say things you don't mean
and you're upset with each otherand all of a sudden you bump

(04:08):
into each other and what do youdo?
You end up saying things like,hey, I'm really sorry about what
I said last week.
I shouldn't have said that theother person goes.
Oh yeah, I owe you an apologytoo.
I'm really sorry.
What was the difference?
They hadn't talked up to thatpoint.
What was the difference?
They hadn't talked up to thatpoint?
It's time, and so most of usdon't take time.
So when you're in a coachingsession and, by the way, we do

(04:35):
in-person coaching, we dovirtual coaching.
I am a big fan of that type ofcoaching.
This is just a different way toalso supplement that coaching,
and the idea behind it is isthat it gives people time to
think how to answer.
See, when you're in front of acoach or you're in front of your
boss who's coaching you, youhave to come up with the answers
right away, because you'reright there, or at least you
feel you do.
So think about using content,get some software, think about

(05:00):
giving people time to reflect,and you'll notice a major
difference in your people.