September 17, 2024 • 27 mins
What if your Go-To Statement doesn't work? What if positive self-talk feels fake, forced, or you just don't believe it? In this episode, we tackle the tough questions athletes face when self-talk strategies seem to fall flat. We dive deep into how to convince the part of your brain wired to fix problems that, yes, you have earned the right to be confident in competition.
You’ll learn practical ways to shift your mindset when self-doubt creeps in, helping you push past those mental roadblocks. It’s not just about repeating feel-good phrases—it’s about backing your self-talk with evidence, preparation, and real effort. We explore how to make your Go-To Statements authentic, so they resonate with you in high-pressure situations, and how to use self-talk to genuinely build confidence, not just cover up anxiety.
Join us as we provide solutions that will help you stay mentally strong and focused, even when doubt tries to take over.
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/academy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast from MentalTraining Plan.
We help teams and individualsperform at their best through
online and in-person training.
So glad that you have chose tolisten to this episode, joining
in on episode three of ourdeeper dive into the focus cycle
.
Kind of the foundation of whatI do with athletes Started back
(00:24):
in 2013 when we went down tostate championship and realized
our entire team needed somethingdifferent.
Some guys were physically justshaking, lost physical control.
We had guys lose emotionalcontrol, crying on the sidelines
, some guys couldn't thinkclearly, some guys couldn't
focus, and so how do we figureout what's going on and help
(00:49):
athletes control their mind andbody?
If you have not listened toepisode number 119, it was on
the focus cycle If you don'tknow what the focus cycle is, if
this is new, please pause thisepisode right now and go back
and listen to 119.
If you're familiar with thefocus cycle, welcome back.
(01:10):
Today we're going to befiguring out what if the
self-talk doesn't work.
I've had athletes before that wecome up with this plan and then
they go and put it intopractice and they come back and
they're like my go-to statementdidn't work and it's like okay,
(01:31):
let's dive a little bit deeper,cause we've got to figure out
what's going on.
Uh, the the first thing that Ialways ask if my athlete is
saying it this didn't work iswell, what is your go-to
statement?
My athlete is saying it thisdidn't work is well, what is
your go-to statement?
Because I've had quite a fewathletes that were like um, I,
(01:52):
uh, I put in the uh, put it, put, put the time in and the work,
and it's like okay, well, you,you obviously didn't do the
activity correctly or you didn'ttake it seriously, or you
didn't say it 50 times a daybecause it should be.
If you, if you really, a weekago, came up with I put in the
(02:14):
time, I put in the work, I'm thebest quarterback in the state
and you said it 50 times a day.
I mean you, you've said thisnow hundreds and hundreds of
times, so it should roll offtongue pretty quick.
I always like to keep the HarryPotter analogy in my back pocket
because I want athletes to knowthis isn't a magical spell.
(02:37):
You're going to have to saythis and you're going to have to
say it over and over, to thepoint where the part of your
brain that wants to fix thingsstarts to believe it, and so
it's going to take a little bitof work.
And Kalen Henderson actuallywrote me a letter in January we
(03:01):
had started working togetherthat summer and I keep this
because I think it's such agreat reminder.
It says I can honestly say Ibelieve myself every time.
You say it one time andmagically all the stuff
disappears.
And so you know, there is thereis this expectation that you're
(03:34):
going to have to put in somework, convincing yourself that,
yes, you know what I have put inthe time, or I do have the
toughness, or I'm not going toquit, or I do have the toughness
, or I, I'm not going to quit.
So that that's kind of the.
The first part is let's makesure that, one, they they've
committed to this and they knowwhat their statement is.
Um.
Two, let's make sure they knowthat this isn't a magical spell,
(03:58):
that they're going to have toconvince their mind that, yes,
they've earned the right to beconfident.
Convince their mind that, yes,they have earned the right to be
confident.
Another thing that that Ialways like to point out is you
know, this isn't something whereyou just say it one time and
poof, everything is better.
Sometimes that might be thecase, but that's not how it's
(04:19):
going to be all the time.
I'll give you a one of theexamples that I love to use is
an MRI machine.
So I don't like tight spaces.
It's less like claustrophobic,it's more like getting stuck
terrifies me Like I used to haveto pull my helmet up during
(04:39):
football practice to convincemyself that I was not going to
be permanently stuck inside ofthis helmet.
Yes, I know it's weird, it'sfine, it's who I am.
So I'm in, I'm getting shovedinto this MRI tube and I'm not.
I'm not a little guy, myshoulders don't fit in this
thing to begin with.
(04:59):
And all of a sudden I'm like I'mstarting to freak out, I'm
starting to panic a little bitand all of a sudden I'm like I'm
starting to freak out, I'mstarting to panic a little bit,
and I don't have some MRImachine statement ready to go.
So I just started saying I cando all things through Christ who
strengthens me, except it wasmore like I can do all things
through Christ who strengthensme.
I can do all things throughChrist who strengthens me.
(05:20):
I can do all things throughChrist who strengthens me for
about 15 minutes and all of asudden I stopped and slowed down
and it was like, oh my goodness, this, this actually is working
.
And then they moved the tableand I felt my.
I felt the side of my arm brushagainst the, the inside of the
MRI tube and I started.
I just all these emotions justrushed back through my body and
(05:47):
so I started saying I I canthings Christ brings to me.
I can do all things Christbrings to me, and that was how I
made it through that MRImachine experience without
having a complete panic attack.
And so there's going to to betimes where the the go to
statement maybe doesn't fixeverything, but maybe saying the
(06:10):
go to statement remindingyourself I've put in this time,
I put in this work, I have whatit takes, I deserve to be on
this court, whatever that is,maybe it's just not letting
things get worse, even if it'snot making things better.
So that's something that Ithink athletes can see value in
(06:31):
and I want them to understand.
The more you do this, the morecomfortable you get with this,
the more you believe this, themore effective and powerful it's
going to be.
So I don't want to just bail onthis because you've been saying
it for two days and you triedit at a tournament one time and
it didn't make you feel the waythat you were hoping to feel.
(06:52):
That's not how this works.
Ask them what's your go-tostatement?
And it's I put in the time andI put in the work and I'm the
best player in the state.
And it's like well, I don'tbelieve that.
How in the world are you goingto believe that?
(07:14):
And sometimes it can bepowerful to say you need to say
this in the mirror and you needto look yourself dead square in
the eye and I'll give them twoexamples.
And you need to see and feeland hear the difference between
I put in the time, I put in thework, I'm the best player in the
(07:35):
state and I put in the time Iput in the work, I'm the best
pitcher in the state.
Those are two very differentthings.
And so the tone saying it inthe mirror, speaking maybe a
little bit more aggressively.
One story that I love to pullout here if an athlete is
(07:55):
struggling with this is a storyabout David Goggins.
So he's doing this ultramarathon through the desert Most
incredibly just, physically,mentally, emotionally tough
human that I know and have haveever heard of and he's running
through the desert and he's gotshattered bones in his feet and
(08:17):
he's screaming.
And it kind of caught theattention of people, obviously,
because here's this madmanrunning through the desert
screaming and he was talking tohim afterwards and he was like
what I've got to know, like whatwas going on.
And goggin said the voices inthe back of my mind were telling
(08:39):
me you can't finish this race,you can't do this, you won't be
able to do this.
Why are you doing this?
Who are you trying to provethis to?
He said the only way I couldget them to shut up he used a
little more colorful languagewas to speak over them.
And so he literally got to thepoint where he's yelling out
(09:00):
loud to drown out these negativevoices in the back of his mind.
And so just saying I put in thetime isn't necessarily what it's
going to take Sometimes.
You know, if you're on a golfcourse like I'm not saying you
need to scream, but maybe I amsaying this needs to be mumbled
(09:21):
under your breath you need to,like, say this out loud.
I've had some golfers that willuh, that will actually look at
their golf club Like it'ssomebody that they're they're
mad at or they're having a sterntalking to, and they'll
literally look at their club andthey'll talk to it and they'll
say I put in the time, I put inthe work, I belong here, and you
(09:44):
know that's a way that theyfeel.
You know there's a little moreoomph behind this go-to
statement.
So timeline I briefly mentionedit a little while ago.
Timeline is another thing.
If, if I have an athlete thatcomes to me two days before a
(10:04):
huge tournament and then theytell me afterwards it didn't
work, it's like, well, yeah,you're supposed to say it 50
times a day.
I mean you've only said this ahundred times.
I, I didn't believe it for aweek, kalen didn't believe it
for months.
But as you continue to say it,then you know, eventually you
(10:24):
start to buy into this, youstart to believe this a little
bit more and so that you knowtimeline is another one If it
hasn't been at least a week, I'mnot ready to just bail on this
thing and quit.
So those are the areas that Istart.
Have them say the go-tostatement.
Make sure they're not stumblingand stuttering.
(10:45):
Make sure they took it serious.
Make sure they're saying it 50times a day.
Make sure they understand thatyou're going to have to speak in
a way that you're convincingyour mind that you've earned
this right to be confident.
Check their tone, make surethat, timeline-wise, they've had
enough time to actually putthis to work, and then make sure
(11:07):
again just like the MRI storythey don't just say it once, but
they repeat this and they useit multiple times.
Repeat this and they use itmultiple times.
Um, sometimes it's just a matterof ah, shoot, I, just I forgot
to use it.
You know I'll say hey, what'syour go-to statement?
You know I put in the time, Iput in the work.
I'm the best golfer in thestate.
(11:27):
Shoot, yeah, I, just I forgotto use that.
Okay, well, what can we do ingolf?
You got a yardage book.
Let's put a giant neon orangesticker on the inside that says
your go-to statement.
I had a pitcher who, uh, I gotone of those wristbands made for
(11:47):
him that you can put your ownwords on.
Uh, depending on the time ofyear and the tournament you're
playing.
Sometimes you can't havesomething like that.
So he actually wrote it inSharpie on the inside of his
glove.
I've had athletes write it ontheir hand.
I've not had anyone yet tattoothis on their body.
I'm not necessarily advocatingfor that, but somehow, like, get
(12:14):
it on you or in a card or inyour locker or in your bag or on
your phone.
Set a, set an alarm on yourphone on the way to the game,
practice using it duringpractice.
Maybe do some visualizationleading up to the next game
where, okay, here's, you knowI'm going to, I'm going to see
(12:34):
myself getting ready to go outand shoot this free throw.
I'm going to say my go-tostatement as I take my big, deep
, diaphragmatic breath, andthat's something that you can
practice ahead of time.
So that's another one.
If they forgot to do it, how dowe get this on the in the front
(12:55):
of their mind getting a littlebit deeper?
There are some times, though,where maybe the athlete just
doesn't believe it, or even thethe circumstances change.
You know Kaylin talked abouthow, when we worked together the
first time, she came up withthis go-to statement, and you
(13:17):
know it was a little bit closerto I put in the time, I put in
the work.
I'm the best golfer in thestate, that wasn't it, but it
was closer to that, and you knowshe needed to get away from
that because she wasn't.
You know, at this point in herprofessional career, she, maybe
her preparation, looked a littlebit different, what she needed
(13:40):
looked a little bit different,what was going on in her mind
was a little bit different.
And so, you know, circumstanceschange and maybe your go-to
statement needs to grow, needsto adapt, maybe it, for whatever
reason, you didn't like oryou're not committed to what you
have Great.
So let's, let's start there.
(14:01):
The the first part.
Have you really earned?
That is my number one question,because if you were just
copying me and copying myexample and you have put in the
time and you have put in thework, then that should give you
a little bit of confidencereminding yourself of that.
If, on the other hand, youhaven't put in the time and you
(14:24):
know like, yeah, maybe I'm notworking as hard as I should be,
uh, we're going to, we're goingto need to tweak that, we're
going to need to figure out,like, either, a we need to
change how you're practicing andhow you're preparing and you
need to actually earn the rightto be confident.
Because, I'll be honest, thisdoesn't work If there's not kind
(14:45):
of a baseline of ability andeffort and practice and hard
work.
I've never played badmintonbefore in my life.
I can't just positive self-talkmy way into being an Olympic
badminton player.
That's not how it works.
So if you were, if you were kindof copying off the example and
(15:05):
you said I put in the time, andnow you're like, well, maybe I I
haven't put in the time, butmaybe you know you're not going
to quit, but maybe you knowyou're not going to quit.
Well, maybe maybe we need totweak that a little bit.
We need to maybe go a differentdirection.
Maybe we need to change thatfirst part.
So that's where I always start.
Do they believe that first part?
(15:26):
Have they earned that firstpart?
Are they still earning thatfirst part?
Um, and then you know, like Ilike I talked about with Kalen,
she needed to believe somethingdifferent for the second part,
and maybe that's where yourathletes at.
Maybe maybe they're not tryingto be the best player in the
state, maybe they need tobelieve they belong on that
(15:52):
court.
Um, I'm not going to tell youwhat Kalen's new go-to statement
is, because I tell athletes notto tell anyone other than maybe
, like one coach, a positioncoach, something like that,
somebody that you're reallyclose with.
What we don't want is we don'twant this to be broadcasted all
(16:14):
over social media.
And then now you're going intothis game and you're not
performing at your best.
And now you're thinking in theback of your mind like, oh man,
I wonder if they're they'rejudging me.
They're trying to figure outlike, oh, is your your go-to
statement not working?
Like we don't want to put extrapressure on ourselves, we don't
want to create this environmentwhere we feel like we have to
(16:35):
perform for other people.
So that's why, like I'm, I'mnot interested in telling you
what people's go-to statementsare.
So you know, but you need tomaybe help them go back and
figure out well, if you're nottrying to be the best player in
the state, what are you tryingto do?
Like, are you just trying to bethis unstoppable, unshakable
(16:59):
competitor in the arena that youknow you're not going to back
down?
Is it a you belong here?
Is it a you've earned the rightto be here?
Is what is it that you want tobelieve in that moment,
something that you're workingtowards and I'll help the
athlete kind of think throughthat, maybe brainstorm with them
(17:23):
Sometimes if you can figure outsome of the things that you're
thinking, but you don't love thewords or the phrasing that
you're coming up with.
Chat GPT can be helpful.
You know, you can say, hey, I'mtrying to say this, this or
this.
Give me, you know, three tofive words, or give me a short
(17:45):
sentence that conveys thatmessage.
And then you know, maybe you,maybe you don't love that and
say give me 10 more options topick from.
Maybe it comes up withsomething good, or maybe some of
those examples spark an idea inyour mind.
But we need the athlete.
When they leave this meetingwhere they've said the go-to
(18:07):
statement's not working, theyneed to leave this meeting on
fire like, yes, yes, this is it.
And if we can help them come upwith a statement where they
believe it and they buy into itand they're all in, that's
that's really setting them upfor success.
(18:29):
That's giving them the bestchance for this to do what it's
supposed to do in a highpressure situation.
And then you know the, the lastthing that I that I'll do with
athletes, let's say that they'rejust not.
They're not vibing with thisgo-to statement thing.
They don't like it, they thinkit's silly.
They, you know, fill in theblank with whatever.
(18:50):
If they want to go a completelydifferent direction, then what
I'll have them do is, instead ofreplacing this thought with you
know, so I threw aninterception, oh no, I have all
these negative thoughts, that'sokay, I'm going to replace those
with my go-to statement Instead, what we can do is reframe this
(19:13):
, and so we want to write downfour things.
Number one what's the badsituation?
I throw an interception, I missa wide open layup, I slice the
ball into the water, I serveinto the net, whatever.
What are the negative thoughtsthat roll in, is it?
Oh, no, we're going to lose, isit?
Oh?
I let down my teammates, is it?
(19:34):
You know, maybe some of thethings that they focus on, maybe
some of the negative self-talkthat works its way into their
mind, like, what are thenegative thoughts rolling
through their head?
And just list all of those out,and then how can we come up
with maybe a, maybe, a positivespin to this, a positive spin to
(20:02):
this?
And if they're not ready forthe positive maybe, how can we
even just get to neutral?
And so, you know, I threw aninterception, okay, well, what
are the facts?
We're going to get the ballback with about a minute 35.
We need to go score a touchdown.
Cool, let's do it.
Or you know what are the?
What are the facts?
I missed this putt, okay, well,you know I, I was a little bit
(20:24):
to the right, I wasunderestimating the break.
Uh, you know, I sliced the ballinto the water.
I was under playing the wind alittle bit in my mind, or I was
overthinking about what I'mdoing with my hands, like, how
can we get away from thenegative and maybe just assess
the situation?
What are the facts?
(20:44):
Maybe once we figure out, like,what are the facts, then we can
get to okay, well, what goodcan come from this?
How can you know?
We're not're not thinking like,oh, I threw an interception,
yay, let's all be happy withthat.
No, but instead, like thesituation is, now we need to go
(21:07):
score a touchdown with a minute37 left, and so the positive
spin here could be what if I usethis as an opportunity to
really try out all this mentaltoughness training that we've
been doing?
Like, what if this is a chancefor me to show my entire team,
through my body language andthrough my attitude and through
(21:29):
my effort, that I'm not going tobe rattled by adversity?
Like, oh well, yeah, there'sall kinds of good that can come
from that.
And so what's a new thoughtthat I can have?
Maybe it's prepare to be amazedor get ready to be amazed.
I had a quarterback that whenhe would throw an interception,
(21:53):
his mind immediately goes toI've let down my team, I've let
down my coaches, any recruitersthat are in the stands no longer
want me, and so you know hewasn't ready for.
He wasn't ready for how can weput a positive spin on this?
So we, okay, let's at leastlike, get away from negative,
let's at least get to neutral,like I need to go back out and I
(22:15):
need to perform on the nextdrive.
Okay, is there any kind of goodthat can come from this?
Like, well, yeah, I can, Icould show my teammates I have
what it takes to perseverethrough adversity, what that's
amazing, yeah.
So that's where the get readyto be amazed came from.
And so now, when he throws thatinterception, it's get ready to
(22:39):
be amazed.
Get ready to be amazed.
We had, we had an athlete for6am workouts.
He would show up and just in a,in a bad spot, like he didn't
want to be there, he wasn'texcited about being awake, he
didn't want to lift, he didn'twant anything to do with this.
And so you know, the, the, the,at least getting away from
(23:00):
negative the, how can we atleast get to neutral?
Thought was.
I mean, this is when we'reworking out and this is my
chance to, you know, prepare mybody for competition.
Like, okay, well, is there anygood that can come from this?
Is there any way we can put apositive spin on this?
(23:20):
He's like, well, you know, thisis maybe a chance for me to, to
outwork my opponents.
This is a chance for me to dosomething hard and invest time
and work into my body so thatI'm I'm ready to go next season
when, when regular season rollsaround, it's like, well, yeah,
(23:40):
that's awesome.
Okay, so how?
How are you going to remindyourself of that?
And he came up with it's timeto grind.
And so he's.
Here's this sophomore walkinginto 6am workouts with a whole
bunch of other grumpy peoplegoing.
It's time to grind, time togrind.
And you can see seniors rollingtheir eyes and you can see
(24:02):
seniors telling them to shut up,and you can see people aren't
ready for it's time to grind at545, right before 6 am workouts
begin.
But what was amazing waswatching as that kind of
infectious behavior.
And I'll be honest, he didn't.
He didn't feel it at first.
He said there was a little bitof I'm going to fake it till I
(24:24):
make it.
And you know, we can do a wholenother podcast about arguing
about whether there's validityin that, because I do think
there's times that it is and Ithink there's times that it's
not, but that's a whole notherpodcast episode.
In this case, I'm telling you, Iwatched this kid's attitude
completely turn around by sayingout loud it's time to grind,
(24:46):
it's time to grind.
And by the end of that offseason it was almost like a
rallying cry for the entire teamwhere they were coming around
this idea of you know what.
It is time to grind, it's timeto outwork our opponents.
Even though it's early, eventhough this is going to be hard,
we're here and we're ready tomake the most of it.
So you know.
(25:07):
That's whether you want toreplace these negative thoughts
by using the go-to statement oryou want to reframe the
situation.
We have this bad situation,okay, well, can we at least
think about it neutrally insteadof negative?
And then, okay, can we put apositive spin on this at all?
Can any good come from this?
Okay, how are we going toremind ourselves.
(25:28):
Let's reframe this situation,with it's time to grind, or
prepare to be amazed.
Those would be the ways that Iwould help out the athletes who
are maybe stuck on this go-tostatement and they just don't
love it.
So if you have questions andyou're like, hey, I'm trying
this, it's not working, pleasereach out to me.
(25:50):
I have had two people.
One is a coach who wanted toactually use this herself, and
another is one of the MTPAcademy coaches who was trying
to do this with an athlete butwas still struggling.
If you need specific help withthis, please don't hesitate to
reach out to me.
I can either get you someresources, I can point you in
(26:14):
the right direction.
I can give you some tips ortools or send you a worksheet or
point you to hey, go try this.
Please don't hesitate to reachout.
I've got a passion for helpingpeople with the mental side of
the game.
It's why I do this.
It's why everything we have isavailable for free on the
podcast, because if you findyourself in this spot where
(26:35):
you're stuck and you need helpand you can't perform at your
best, I want to help you.
And so if you decide like, hey,I'm a coach.
I want to do this year roundwith my team.
I want to get them access tosome more of these tools.
I want to have more of acomplete program where, year
(26:55):
round, we're going to be able totrain our athletes.
You want to get some help fromme.
You want to get somecustomization ideas, tips.
How do we make this work aroundour calendar, based on the size
of our team and what we need?
Check out the MTP Academy.
You can go tomentaltrainingplancom.
Just click on coaches up at thetop and, until next time, make
(27:18):
your plan and put it to work.
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast from MentalTraining Plan.
We help teams and individualsperform at their best through
online and in-person training.
So glad that you have chose tolisten to this episode, joining
in on episode three of ourdeeper dive into the focus cycle
.
Kind of the foundation of whatI do with athletes Started back
(00:24):
in 2013 when we went down tostate championship and realized
our entire team needed somethingdifferent.
Some guys were physically justshaking, lost physical control.
We had guys lose emotionalcontrol, crying on the sidelines
, some guys couldn't thinkclearly, some guys couldn't
focus, and so how do we figureout what's going on and help
(00:49):
athletes control their mind andbody?
If you have not listened toepisode number 119, it was on
the focus cycle If you don'tknow what the focus cycle is, if
this is new, please pause thisepisode right now and go back
and listen to 119.
If you're familiar with thefocus cycle, welcome back.
(01:10):
Today we're going to befiguring out what if the
self-talk doesn't work.
I've had athletes before that wecome up with this plan and then
they go and put it intopractice and they come back and
they're like my go-to statementdidn't work and it's like okay,
(01:31):
let's dive a little bit deeper,cause we've got to figure out
what's going on.
Uh, the the first thing that Ialways ask if my athlete is
saying it this didn't work iswell, what is your go-to
statement?
My athlete is saying it thisdidn't work is well, what is
your go-to statement?
Because I've had quite a fewathletes that were like um, I,
(01:52):
uh, I put in the uh, put it, put, put the time in and the work,
and it's like okay, well, you,you obviously didn't do the
activity correctly or you didn'ttake it seriously, or you
didn't say it 50 times a daybecause it should be.
If you, if you really, a weekago, came up with I put in the
(02:14):
time, I put in the work, I'm thebest quarterback in the state
and you said it 50 times a day.
I mean you, you've said thisnow hundreds and hundreds of
times, so it should roll offtongue pretty quick.
I always like to keep the HarryPotter analogy in my back pocket
because I want athletes to knowthis isn't a magical spell.
(02:37):
You're going to have to saythis and you're going to have to
say it over and over, to thepoint where the part of your
brain that wants to fix thingsstarts to believe it, and so
it's going to take a little bitof work.
And Kalen Henderson actuallywrote me a letter in January we
(03:01):
had started working togetherthat summer and I keep this
because I think it's such agreat reminder.
It says I can honestly say Ibelieve myself every time.
You say it one time andmagically all the stuff
disappears.
And so you know, there is thereis this expectation that you're
(03:34):
going to have to put in somework, convincing yourself that,
yes, you know what I have put inthe time, or I do have the
toughness, or I'm not going toquit, or I do have the toughness
, or I, I'm not going to quit.
So that that's kind of the.
The first part is let's makesure that, one, they they've
committed to this and they knowwhat their statement is.
Um.
Two, let's make sure they knowthat this isn't a magical spell,
(03:58):
that they're going to have toconvince their mind that, yes,
they've earned the right to beconfident.
Convince their mind that, yes,they have earned the right to be
confident.
Another thing that that Ialways like to point out is you
know, this isn't something whereyou just say it one time and
poof, everything is better.
Sometimes that might be thecase, but that's not how it's
(04:19):
going to be all the time.
I'll give you a one of theexamples that I love to use is
an MRI machine.
So I don't like tight spaces.
It's less like claustrophobic,it's more like getting stuck
terrifies me Like I used to haveto pull my helmet up during
(04:39):
football practice to convincemyself that I was not going to
be permanently stuck inside ofthis helmet.
Yes, I know it's weird, it'sfine, it's who I am.
So I'm in, I'm getting shovedinto this MRI tube and I'm not.
I'm not a little guy, myshoulders don't fit in this
thing to begin with.
(04:59):
And all of a sudden I'm like I'mstarting to freak out, I'm
starting to panic a little bitand all of a sudden I'm like I'm
starting to freak out, I'mstarting to panic a little bit,
and I don't have some MRImachine statement ready to go.
So I just started saying I cando all things through Christ who
strengthens me, except it wasmore like I can do all things
through Christ who strengthensme.
I can do all things throughChrist who strengthens me.
(05:20):
I can do all things throughChrist who strengthens me for
about 15 minutes and all of asudden I stopped and slowed down
and it was like, oh my goodness, this, this actually is working
.
And then they moved the tableand I felt my.
I felt the side of my arm brushagainst the, the inside of the
MRI tube and I started.
I just all these emotions justrushed back through my body and
(05:47):
so I started saying I I canthings Christ brings to me.
I can do all things Christbrings to me, and that was how I
made it through that MRImachine experience without
having a complete panic attack.
And so there's going to to betimes where the the go to
statement maybe doesn't fixeverything, but maybe saying the
(06:10):
go to statement remindingyourself I've put in this time,
I put in this work, I have whatit takes, I deserve to be on
this court, whatever that is,maybe it's just not letting
things get worse, even if it'snot making things better.
So that's something that Ithink athletes can see value in
(06:31):
and I want them to understand.
The more you do this, the morecomfortable you get with this,
the more you believe this, themore effective and powerful it's
going to be.
So I don't want to just bail onthis because you've been saying
it for two days and you triedit at a tournament one time and
it didn't make you feel the waythat you were hoping to feel.
(06:52):
That's not how this works.
Ask them what's your go-tostatement?
And it's I put in the time andI put in the work and I'm the
best player in the state.
And it's like well, I don'tbelieve that.
How in the world are you goingto believe that?
(07:14):
And sometimes it can bepowerful to say you need to say
this in the mirror and you needto look yourself dead square in
the eye and I'll give them twoexamples.
And you need to see and feeland hear the difference between
I put in the time, I put in thework, I'm the best player in the
(07:35):
state and I put in the time Iput in the work, I'm the best
pitcher in the state.
Those are two very differentthings.
And so the tone saying it inthe mirror, speaking maybe a
little bit more aggressively.
One story that I love to pullout here if an athlete is
(07:55):
struggling with this is a storyabout David Goggins.
So he's doing this ultramarathon through the desert Most
incredibly just, physically,mentally, emotionally tough
human that I know and have haveever heard of and he's running
through the desert and he's gotshattered bones in his feet and
(08:17):
he's screaming.
And it kind of caught theattention of people, obviously,
because here's this madmanrunning through the desert
screaming and he was talking tohim afterwards and he was like
what I've got to know, like whatwas going on.
And goggin said the voices inthe back of my mind were telling
(08:39):
me you can't finish this race,you can't do this, you won't be
able to do this.
Why are you doing this?
Who are you trying to provethis to?
He said the only way I couldget them to shut up he used a
little more colorful languagewas to speak over them.
And so he literally got to thepoint where he's yelling out
(09:00):
loud to drown out these negativevoices in the back of his mind.
And so just saying I put in thetime isn't necessarily what it's
going to take Sometimes.
You know, if you're on a golfcourse like I'm not saying you
need to scream, but maybe I amsaying this needs to be mumbled
(09:21):
under your breath you need to,like, say this out loud.
I've had some golfers that willuh, that will actually look at
their golf club Like it'ssomebody that they're they're
mad at or they're having a sterntalking to, and they'll
literally look at their club andthey'll talk to it and they'll
say I put in the time, I put inthe work, I belong here, and you
(09:44):
know that's a way that theyfeel.
You know there's a little moreoomph behind this go-to
statement.
So timeline I briefly mentionedit a little while ago.
Timeline is another thing.
If, if I have an athlete thatcomes to me two days before a
(10:04):
huge tournament and then theytell me afterwards it didn't
work, it's like, well, yeah,you're supposed to say it 50
times a day.
I mean you've only said this ahundred times.
I, I didn't believe it for aweek, kalen didn't believe it
for months.
But as you continue to say it,then you know, eventually you
(10:24):
start to buy into this, youstart to believe this a little
bit more and so that you knowtimeline is another one If it
hasn't been at least a week, I'mnot ready to just bail on this
thing and quit.
So those are the areas that Istart.
Have them say the go-tostatement.
Make sure they're not stumblingand stuttering.
(10:45):
Make sure they took it serious.
Make sure they're saying it 50times a day.
Make sure they understand thatyou're going to have to speak in
a way that you're convincingyour mind that you've earned
this right to be confident.
Check their tone, make surethat, timeline-wise, they've had
enough time to actually putthis to work, and then make sure
(11:07):
again just like the MRI storythey don't just say it once, but
they repeat this and they useit multiple times.
Repeat this and they use itmultiple times.
Um, sometimes it's just a matterof ah, shoot, I, just I forgot
to use it.
You know I'll say hey, what'syour go-to statement?
You know I put in the time, Iput in the work.
I'm the best golfer in thestate.
(11:27):
Shoot, yeah, I, just I forgotto use that.
Okay, well, what can we do ingolf?
You got a yardage book.
Let's put a giant neon orangesticker on the inside that says
your go-to statement.
I had a pitcher who, uh, I gotone of those wristbands made for
(11:47):
him that you can put your ownwords on.
Uh, depending on the time ofyear and the tournament you're
playing.
Sometimes you can't havesomething like that.
So he actually wrote it inSharpie on the inside of his
glove.
I've had athletes write it ontheir hand.
I've not had anyone yet tattoothis on their body.
I'm not necessarily advocatingfor that, but somehow, like, get
(12:14):
it on you or in a card or inyour locker or in your bag or on
your phone.
Set a, set an alarm on yourphone on the way to the game,
practice using it duringpractice.
Maybe do some visualizationleading up to the next game
where, okay, here's, you knowI'm going to, I'm going to see
(12:34):
myself getting ready to go outand shoot this free throw.
I'm going to say my go-tostatement as I take my big, deep
, diaphragmatic breath, andthat's something that you can
practice ahead of time.
So that's another one.
If they forgot to do it, how dowe get this on the in the front
(12:55):
of their mind getting a littlebit deeper?
There are some times, though,where maybe the athlete just
doesn't believe it, or even thethe circumstances change.
You know Kaylin talked abouthow, when we worked together the
first time, she came up withthis go-to statement, and you
(13:17):
know it was a little bit closerto I put in the time, I put in
the work.
I'm the best golfer in thestate, that wasn't it, but it
was closer to that, and you knowshe needed to get away from
that because she wasn't.
You know, at this point in herprofessional career, she, maybe
her preparation, looked a littlebit different, what she needed
(13:40):
looked a little bit different,what was going on in her mind
was a little bit different.
And so, you know, circumstanceschange and maybe your go-to
statement needs to grow, needsto adapt, maybe it, for whatever
reason, you didn't like oryou're not committed to what you
have Great.
So let's, let's start there.
(14:01):
The the first part.
Have you really earned?
That is my number one question,because if you were just
copying me and copying myexample and you have put in the
time and you have put in thework, then that should give you
a little bit of confidencereminding yourself of that.
If, on the other hand, youhaven't put in the time and you
(14:24):
know like, yeah, maybe I'm notworking as hard as I should be,
uh, we're going to, we're goingto need to tweak that, we're
going to need to figure out,like, either, a we need to
change how you're practicing andhow you're preparing and you
need to actually earn the rightto be confident.
Because, I'll be honest, thisdoesn't work If there's not kind
(14:45):
of a baseline of ability andeffort and practice and hard
work.
I've never played badmintonbefore in my life.
I can't just positive self-talkmy way into being an Olympic
badminton player.
That's not how it works.
So if you were, if you were kindof copying off the example and
(15:05):
you said I put in the time, andnow you're like, well, maybe I I
haven't put in the time, butmaybe you know you're not going
to quit, but maybe you knowyou're not going to quit.
Well, maybe maybe we need totweak that a little bit.
We need to maybe go a differentdirection.
Maybe we need to change thatfirst part.
So that's where I always start.
Do they believe that first part?
(15:26):
Have they earned that firstpart?
Are they still earning thatfirst part?
Um, and then you know, like Ilike I talked about with Kalen,
she needed to believe somethingdifferent for the second part,
and maybe that's where yourathletes at.
Maybe maybe they're not tryingto be the best player in the
state, maybe they need tobelieve they belong on that
(15:52):
court.
Um, I'm not going to tell youwhat Kalen's new go-to statement
is, because I tell athletes notto tell anyone other than maybe
, like one coach, a positioncoach, something like that,
somebody that you're reallyclose with.
What we don't want is we don'twant this to be broadcasted all
(16:14):
over social media.
And then now you're going intothis game and you're not
performing at your best.
And now you're thinking in theback of your mind like, oh man,
I wonder if they're they'rejudging me.
They're trying to figure outlike, oh, is your your go-to
statement not working?
Like we don't want to put extrapressure on ourselves, we don't
want to create this environmentwhere we feel like we have to
(16:35):
perform for other people.
So that's why, like I'm, I'mnot interested in telling you
what people's go-to statementsare.
So you know, but you need tomaybe help them go back and
figure out well, if you're nottrying to be the best player in
the state, what are you tryingto do?
Like, are you just trying to bethis unstoppable, unshakable
(16:59):
competitor in the arena that youknow you're not going to back
down?
Is it a you belong here?
Is it a you've earned the rightto be here?
Is what is it that you want tobelieve in that moment,
something that you're workingtowards and I'll help the
athlete kind of think throughthat, maybe brainstorm with them
(17:23):
Sometimes if you can figure outsome of the things that you're
thinking, but you don't love thewords or the phrasing that
you're coming up with.
Chat GPT can be helpful.
You know, you can say, hey, I'mtrying to say this, this or
this.
Give me, you know, three tofive words, or give me a short
(17:45):
sentence that conveys thatmessage.
And then you know, maybe you,maybe you don't love that and
say give me 10 more options topick from.
Maybe it comes up withsomething good, or maybe some of
those examples spark an idea inyour mind.
But we need the athlete.
When they leave this meetingwhere they've said the go-to
(18:07):
statement's not working, theyneed to leave this meeting on
fire like, yes, yes, this is it.
And if we can help them come upwith a statement where they
believe it and they buy into itand they're all in, that's
that's really setting them upfor success.
(18:29):
That's giving them the bestchance for this to do what it's
supposed to do in a highpressure situation.
And then you know the, the lastthing that I that I'll do with
athletes, let's say that they'rejust not.
They're not vibing with thisgo-to statement thing.
They don't like it, they thinkit's silly.
They, you know, fill in theblank with whatever.
(18:50):
If they want to go a completelydifferent direction, then what
I'll have them do is, instead ofreplacing this thought with you
know, so I threw aninterception, oh no, I have all
these negative thoughts, that'sokay, I'm going to replace those
with my go-to statement Instead, what we can do is reframe this
(19:13):
, and so we want to write downfour things.
Number one what's the badsituation?
I throw an interception, I missa wide open layup, I slice the
ball into the water, I serveinto the net, whatever.
What are the negative thoughtsthat roll in, is it?
Oh, no, we're going to lose, isit?
Oh?
I let down my teammates, is it?
(19:34):
You know, maybe some of thethings that they focus on, maybe
some of the negative self-talkthat works its way into their
mind, like, what are thenegative thoughts rolling
through their head?
And just list all of those out,and then how can we come up
with maybe a, maybe, a positivespin to this, a positive spin to
(20:02):
this?
And if they're not ready forthe positive maybe, how can we
even just get to neutral?
And so, you know, I threw aninterception, okay, well, what
are the facts?
We're going to get the ballback with about a minute 35.
We need to go score a touchdown.
Cool, let's do it.
Or you know what are the?
What are the facts?
I missed this putt, okay, well,you know I, I was a little bit
(20:24):
to the right, I wasunderestimating the break.
Uh, you know, I sliced the ballinto the water.
I was under playing the wind alittle bit in my mind, or I was
overthinking about what I'mdoing with my hands, like, how
can we get away from thenegative and maybe just assess
the situation?
What are the facts?
(20:44):
Maybe once we figure out, like,what are the facts, then we can
get to okay, well, what goodcan come from this?
How can you know?
We're not're not thinking like,oh, I threw an interception,
yay, let's all be happy withthat.
No, but instead, like thesituation is, now we need to go
(21:07):
score a touchdown with a minute37 left, and so the positive
spin here could be what if I usethis as an opportunity to
really try out all this mentaltoughness training that we've
been doing?
Like, what if this is a chancefor me to show my entire team,
through my body language andthrough my attitude and through
(21:29):
my effort, that I'm not going tobe rattled by adversity?
Like, oh well, yeah, there'sall kinds of good that can come
from that.
And so what's a new thoughtthat I can have?
Maybe it's prepare to be amazedor get ready to be amazed.
I had a quarterback that whenhe would throw an interception,
(21:53):
his mind immediately goes toI've let down my team, I've let
down my coaches, any recruitersthat are in the stands no longer
want me, and so you know hewasn't ready for.
He wasn't ready for how can weput a positive spin on this?
So we, okay, let's at leastlike, get away from negative,
let's at least get to neutral,like I need to go back out and I
(22:15):
need to perform on the nextdrive.
Okay, is there any kind of goodthat can come from this?
Like, well, yeah, I can, Icould show my teammates I have
what it takes to perseverethrough adversity, what that's
amazing, yeah.
So that's where the get readyto be amazed came from.
And so now, when he throws thatinterception, it's get ready to
(22:39):
be amazed.
Get ready to be amazed.
We had, we had an athlete for6am workouts.
He would show up and just in a,in a bad spot, like he didn't
want to be there, he wasn'texcited about being awake, he
didn't want to lift, he didn'twant anything to do with this.
And so you know, the, the, the,at least getting away from
(23:00):
negative the, how can we atleast get to neutral?
Thought was.
I mean, this is when we'reworking out and this is my
chance to, you know, prepare mybody for competition.
Like, okay, well, is there anygood that can come from this?
Is there any way we can put apositive spin on this?
(23:20):
He's like, well, you know, thisis maybe a chance for me to, to
outwork my opponents.
This is a chance for me to dosomething hard and invest time
and work into my body so thatI'm I'm ready to go next season
when, when regular season rollsaround, it's like, well, yeah,
(23:40):
that's awesome.
Okay, so how?
How are you going to remindyourself of that?
And he came up with it's timeto grind.
And so he's.
Here's this sophomore walkinginto 6am workouts with a whole
bunch of other grumpy peoplegoing.
It's time to grind, time togrind.
And you can see seniors rollingtheir eyes and you can see
(24:02):
seniors telling them to shut up,and you can see people aren't
ready for it's time to grind at545, right before 6 am workouts
begin.
But what was amazing waswatching as that kind of
infectious behavior.
And I'll be honest, he didn't.
He didn't feel it at first.
He said there was a little bitof I'm going to fake it till I
(24:24):
make it.
And you know, we can do a wholenother podcast about arguing
about whether there's validityin that, because I do think
there's times that it is and Ithink there's times that it's
not, but that's a whole notherpodcast episode.
In this case, I'm telling you, Iwatched this kid's attitude
completely turn around by sayingout loud it's time to grind,
(24:46):
it's time to grind.
And by the end of that offseason it was almost like a
rallying cry for the entire teamwhere they were coming around
this idea of you know what.
It is time to grind, it's timeto outwork our opponents.
Even though it's early, eventhough this is going to be hard,
we're here and we're ready tomake the most of it.
So you know.
(25:07):
That's whether you want toreplace these negative thoughts
by using the go-to statement oryou want to reframe the
situation.
We have this bad situation,okay, well, can we at least
think about it neutrally insteadof negative?
And then, okay, can we put apositive spin on this at all?
Can any good come from this?
Okay, how are we going toremind ourselves.
(25:28):
Let's reframe this situation,with it's time to grind, or
prepare to be amazed.
Those would be the ways that Iwould help out the athletes who
are maybe stuck on this go-tostatement and they just don't
love it.
So if you have questions andyou're like, hey, I'm trying
this, it's not working, pleasereach out to me.
(25:50):
I have had two people.
One is a coach who wanted toactually use this herself, and
another is one of the MTPAcademy coaches who was trying
to do this with an athlete butwas still struggling.
If you need specific help withthis, please don't hesitate to
reach out to me.
I can either get you someresources, I can point you in
(26:14):
the right direction.
I can give you some tips ortools or send you a worksheet or
point you to hey, go try this.
Please don't hesitate to reachout.
I've got a passion for helpingpeople with the mental side of
the game.
It's why I do this.
It's why everything we have isavailable for free on the
podcast, because if you findyourself in this spot where
(26:35):
you're stuck and you need helpand you can't perform at your
best, I want to help you.
And so if you decide like, hey,I'm a coach.
I want to do this year roundwith my team.
I want to get them access tosome more of these tools.
I want to have more of acomplete program where, year
(26:55):
round, we're going to be able totrain our athletes.
You want to get some help fromme.
You want to get somecustomization ideas, tips.
How do we make this work aroundour calendar, based on the size
of our team and what we need?
Check out the MTP Academy.
You can go tomentaltrainingplancom.
Just click on coaches up at thetop and, until next time, make
(27:18):
your plan and put it to work.
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