November 4, 2024 • 32 mins
High school volleyball coach Lucy Grenda reached out to me with a simple text after I completed a team session with the high school team she helps coach, "Sometimes when I use my self talk in those anxious moments, I feel like it doesn't work to calm me down because I 'know all the tricks' I tell my students to do."
Discover her journey through mental training techniques both on and off the court, as she uncovers the power of wearable technology in understanding and managing stress in real-time.
In our conversation, we explore a treasure trove of practical strategies for taming stress and anxiety. From the calming rituals of reading the Bible and prayer to the grounding practice of journaling through a nightly "brain dump," listeners will gain actionable insights. We dive into the power of breathwork and the liberating concept of giving oneself "permission to forget," especially crucial in high-pressure environments like teaching. Emphasizing the role of purpose and the importance of professional counseling, this episode is a holistic guide to mental wellness.
As life's pace quickens, we reveal the art of balance through rest and mindfulness practices. Discussing the struggle of carving out Sabbath moments or mere quiet minutes amid chaos, we highlight how habit stacking small routines can yield significant changes. With personal anecdotes and stress-tracking success stories, we encourage listeners to prioritize self-care and mental health, offering a strategic blueprint for enhancing both life and athletic performance. Tap into the episode for insights that could redefine your approach to balancing life's demands.
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/academy
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan, today joined by a
very special guest.
We are wrapping up the end ofour focus cycle series and we've
been talking you know what isthe focus cycle, how do we apply
that?
And we talked last time aboutwhat's that look like with
(00:22):
actual athletes.
You got to hear an example ofthis being implemented in real
life and, super excited abouttoday's conversation.
Lucy, I'm going to go ahead andjust let you introduce yourself
and tell us a little bit aboutwho you are and how you got here
.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, well, thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to talk abouteverything and what I've
learned from you.
I'm Lucy Grenda.
I am a Westfield high schoolvolleyball coach, so I've known
you, I think, since you were myteacher and then, when I
graduated from college, cameback home and I started coaching
(00:59):
and I also teach here in thecommunity, so, and then you
recently just worked with ourgirls, which is kind of how we
got reconnected, and then that'swhen I gave you a call.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Just from a background standpoint.
You know obviously started, youguys started working with the
MTP Academy pretty early.
You started doing it in the offseason.
Last year.
I came in and did a livesession with you guys and we put
your team through the focuscycle how do you control your
mind, how do you control yourbody in these high pressure
(01:29):
situations?
And would love for you to justgive the audience a little bit
of background on why you reachedout to me because, I'll be
honest, I thought your text thatyou sent me was incredibly
honest, and it was.
It was, to be honest, a littlebit different than than most
communication I get from coaches, I think, which is why it was
(01:51):
so intriguing to me.
Take it, take us through alittle bit of maybe that
background.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah.
So it was that session that youcame in with our girls and I
was in that session as well, andso I was going through
everything that you wereteaching our girls and you got
to the point where you weretalking about their statement
and you went through differentkinds of statements that the
girls could choose from and yousaid pick one statement and it's
going to work.
And it does work.
(02:17):
And then you went through theresearch and everything to prove
how it works, and then you saidif your statement doesn't work,
give me a call.
I'm wide open.
And so I was like okay, I'mgoing to give you a call after
this and I texted you sayingbasically what I just said hey,
my statement doesn't work.
(02:38):
I am noticing that I get anxiousfeelings when I'm teaching and
I don't know how to control it,because sometimes I will, or you
know, we walk kids throughanxiety and nerves and um life
factors that happen, and so Ifelt like the things that I walk
(02:58):
my students through, I knew Ilooked at it almost as like a
trick, and so then my brain knewokay, you can calm students
this way down, but we actuallyknow why we're doing this and
we're not going to calm downthis way, and so then, that's
basically what I told you I waslike, yeah, I just I want to
read this text.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay, the I feel like it doesn't work to calm me down
because I quote, know all thetricks that I tell my students
to do.
Do you have any bookrecommendations to help with the
coaching, the mental side,which I'm sure you didn't mean
it, but I was like, oh yeah,your, your self-talk nonsense
(03:39):
doesn't work.
You have like a book that I canread that's actually going to
get this to work, like a bookthat I can read that's actually
going to get this to work.
Tell us a little bit more aboutwhat you know.
We don't need to go intospecific details about what you
were struggling with as far as,like, the situations.
You know that I don't think thecomparison game does anybody any
(03:59):
good, because then we startgetting into oh you lost this
person, or you're dealing withthis.
Well, what about me?
I'm dealing with, so I'muninterested in that.
But maybe just a little bitdeeper, dive into the specifics
of maybe some of the sideeffects.
Yeah, because I've also not.
(04:21):
I would say the wearabletechnology Do you have a whoop
band?
I did wear a whoop band.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I did wear a whoop.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I wear an aura ring now, okay, yeah, Because
obviously the wearablestechnology is kind of taking
this to a whole different level,where we can track these things
in real time and you can seevisual representations of what's
going on.
Tell us just a little bit moreabout maybe some of those
(04:46):
effects that you were feelingand what you were noticing
tracking stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Right, and I think you said it perfect.
Like everyone has a stressfuljob, right, like everyone has
something that's going to eithercause stress or, um, you know
that workload.
I mean, I'm a person who I wantto give a hundred percent to
everything, so naturally I justfeel like that's going to happen
.
That's who I was as an athlete.
I noticed that as a teacher, um, and sometimes that's hard for
(05:12):
me to turn it, know when to turnit off and know when to kind of
put myself into a lessstressful, um mindset, and so
when that happens, I would justkind of like let myself keep
going in that like mindset orthat mind track, and so I didn't
know how to, how to kind ofbreak that up.
(05:35):
I knew how to do it as anathlete, but then as a teacher,
I was noticing that I wasn'table to kind of not work myself
up over things that I knew Icould just put to the side later
, yeah.
So, um, that's kind of why Icalled you.
I was like I need something, Ineed a tool not to use again
(05:55):
Like I'm I'm a coach now, not anathlete, I'm not playing, so I
don't need, I don't need thatright now.
You know what you put theathletes through.
I need this for my what Iconsider my game day right,
going in and teaching Um, andthere were certain times of the
day where I would notice ithappening more so than not, kind
of like in my morning time, um,and I've done.
(06:16):
I'm super passionate about likehealth and fitness, so I've also
kind of, I think, correlatedthat a little bit to like with
nutrition and and everythingthat's going on there.
So I was noticing a certaintime of day that I was telling
you that I was getting superworked up about and I didn't
know how to calm myself down.
And then, um, we had aconversation and you gave me so
many great pieces of advice overwhat, um, I need to start
(06:40):
incorporating into my day.
And at first, when I washearing this, I was like, okay,
yes, I know that I should dothis Right, but then I wasn't
actually doing it.
And so when, um, we went overall of those things and then I
went over it myself and then Ijust started slowly
incorporating it each day.
I think the easiest one for mewas the breathing technique, the
belly breathing, and, um, thatwas just kind of eyeopening to
(07:00):
me because you know, we thinkdeep breaths, and then that was
just kind of eye-opening to me,because you know we think deep
breaths and then we naturallyjust do it from the chest versus
from the belly, um, so that wasthe easiest thing, that kind of
helped me in the moment.
And then the journaling, whatyou were saying, like just brain
dump at the end of the night,um, so I started doing that a
(07:21):
lot and noticed a big difference.
So the so the aura ring, ittracks your stress, it tracks a
bunch of like, it tracks yoursleep and your HRV, which is a
reflection over your nervoussystem as well, and then, but it
also tracks your stress which.
So when I called you and wewere having this conversation, I
(07:42):
said, ben, my stress levelsfrom my aura ring are about four
or five, six hours every day.
The only days that it wasn'tthat high was maybe the weekends
when I wasn't coaching, um, andso then I think it was I'm
looking back yeah, it was thenext day or two after we had our
conversation and I startedimplementing what you were, what
(08:04):
we talked about, and my stress,uh was, on a Monday, 45 minutes
and restored was 30 minutes,and I had never seen a restored
level, meaning, like my body was, you know, kind of kind of
balancing that out?
Um, so that you know, that's anumber that I would maybe see on
a Saturday when I'm justsitting on the couch not doing
(08:26):
anything.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's, that's awesome.
Um, I know when, when Pepeo gotout to the Dodgers, literally
one of the first things they didwas put him in a whoop band
because they wanted to see whathis recovery was like.
They wanted to be intentionalabout tracking some of those
metrics From my perspective, tokind of catch up the audience.
It sounded to me as you were,you know, because you sent me
(08:50):
that text as you were, you knowcause.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You sent me that text and I was like this isn't a
quick text fix conversation.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Um, I said we we need to hop on a phone call and
basically, you know, at thatpoint said all right, kind of
take me, take me through whatall you're experiencing
throughout the day.
And you know, I would say froma focus cycle standpoint, we
teach that to all our athletesso that when in that moment
(09:17):
where there's a reaction, andyou know I drop a pass, I get
blocked, I serve into the net,whatever, what is my body
automatically doing?
And how do I take back control?
Right, and so we talk about howthe lower part of the brain
reacts, just like if we steppedoff a curb and a car laid on its
horn, we wouldn't think wewould automatically jerk back up
(09:39):
onto the curb.
And then how do we use the toppart of the brain to basically
take back control?
But you weren't just dealingwith one moment right.
You were dealing with the entirelower part of your brain and
that middle part of your brain.
Your amygdala are basically onhigh alert Right All the time.
(10:01):
And you're just living in thisstressed state, and so in my
mind it was like, okay, well, ifwe want to change the lower
part of the brain, that's goingto go a little bit deeper.
Like I, I can show you thescience to prove that the focus
cycle works.
That's not my opinion.
It works.
But if we want to change, if we, if we want to go deeper than
(10:25):
that and you needed to go deeperthan that then we've got to get
a lot more intense.
It a lot more intense.
And so I just want to.
I want to read the text of the.
It was kind of like a quicksummary and it almost reads like
a prescription and like I'mgoing to.
I'm going to, I'm going to comeright out here and say, like
(10:47):
I'm not a psychotherapist, I'mnot a counselor.
That's not what I do.
Um, everything that I shared isjust from in my own struggles
with anxiety.
Here's some things that I didthat worked.
I can show you the research andthe literature behind why they
work, but I like I just want tothrow that out there to the
audience.
Take this for what it is.
(11:09):
Um number one I said reading,reading the Bible in the morning
and throughout the day, anytimesomeone's faith is important to
them.
I think that that that is agreat place to start and I can
show you this book right herehow God changes your brain.
Basically, takes a look at,okay, if someone is spending a
(11:32):
lot of time in scripture orsomeone is spending a lot of
time in prayer, what afunctional MRI machines say is
going on in their brain.
Number two I said journaling.
We talked about the permissionto forget the end of the day,
brain dump.
What can you control?
What can you not control?
Again, just giving you somespecific prompts that would help
(11:54):
you out the Sabbath taking aday off, having a day where you
rest and you recover.
I sent you a link to adifferent podcast.
The midday break was numberfour and we talked about the
video that someone was showingbasically the stress levels and
(12:16):
the cortisol levels throughoutthe course of a day when they
were at work, and it was justthis slow and steady climb,
always getting more stressfuland then they started to have.
You know, how do we, in themiddle of the day, maybe bring
those back down so that, even asthey continue to climb, at
least they're not getting ashigh as what they were?
(12:38):
We talked about the 15 minutesof quiet.
Don't talk, don't read, don'tpray, just be there, be with God
in silence, count your breathsor do nothing like slow down
amygdala activity and do theopposite of PTSD to your brain.
We talked about focus.
What's the purpose of you beingin education?
(13:00):
Why does God have you there?
What's he trying to do with you?
When is Satan trying to disruptthat or steal your peace that
allows you to accomplish thatpurpose?
We talked about counseling.
You know there's a whole bunchof solid therapists out there
that are way more qualified inthis area than me, as a mental
(13:20):
performance coach.
And I'm not going to lie, as, asI'm sitting here looking at
this list and I'm reading allthis stuff to you, to me this
sounds almost like anoverwhelming amount of stuff
that I've just kind of heaped onyou and said, hey, I did all
this and it, it really works,Good luck.
(13:41):
Where the?
Where the heck did you nowbegin on day one?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well, the easiest one for me, like in the moment,
especially because, like to me,teaching, I'm kind of like, okay
, I'm putting on a show now forthese kids, right, Like I'm
going to make it entertaining,but they're going to learn, and
so whenever I would startgetting overwhelmed, I almost
looked at that as like aweakness.
I don't need them to know thatI'm freaking out right now
mentally, right, Like I'msupposed to be that person who's
(14:07):
their safe spot, like duringthe day.
So the easiest thing for methat, um, you know, no one could
really see was the, the bellybreathing that you walked our
girls through.
Um, so I can do that, you know,sitting at my desk or like if
they're reading, I can just takea couple of deep breaths and
kind of do that.
That reset, Um.
(14:29):
So that one I started there.
And then I started with thepermission to forget, Because I
think when we were on the phoneI was telling you I'm forgetting
so many little details that Iknow I should remember.
And then, naturally, I'mcycling.
I'm like, why am I forgettingthis?
Why can't I remember this?
What's going on?
And then you said thepermission to forget, write it
(14:50):
down and then forget, andthere's always something.
In every job.
There's always something morethat you can do.
There's always something thatyou can take home and do.
So it's the stopping.
Write it on the to-do list,journal, it brain dump, whatever
and then go home and dosomething else a part of your
life.
So I started keeping a journalat school writing down certain
(15:13):
things.
I have my to-do list right infront of me and then at night I
keep a journal next to my bedand that's more of like a
reflection over my day.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, so neurologically.
Now what's happened is you'vegot all this junk that's
swirling around inside of yourworking memory and I don't call
it junk to downplay anythingthat you have going on in your
life.
I call it that because whenwe're trying to focus on other
stuff and there's thingscluttering it and clouding, it's
(15:45):
just junk that we need to getrid of and set off to the side.
We're not saying we're nevergoing to deal with it.
We're saying we can't deal withit right now, so we're going to
give ourselves permission toforget about this and then move
on.
What would you say was the mostchallenging part of trying to
(16:08):
implement these changes?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I'm still not good at it, but probably the Sabbath,
that one, because I mean I couldeven throw out a bunch of
excuses why, you know, not togive up a day to not just do
anything.
There's all.
Like I said, there's alwayssomething to do, there's always
something to prepare for.
Um, and then different seasonsof life.
I mean I find more time now,since we're out of season, to
(16:32):
find a little bit more of thatday to just truly give it to God
than in season, when I couldtell you a bunch of reasons why
I'm super busy.
So that one is definitely stillprobably hard.
The 15 minutes of quiet is hard.
I think that kind of goes alittle bit hand in hand with the
Sabbath, like just completelyturning off, of turning off your
(16:54):
brain and your thoughts andletting it actually just
decompress.
The easiest time to do the 15minutes is probably before bed,
though when I can't, I thinkthat's the easiest time yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
So, I think I don't know if you've felt this, but
something that I tell clientsanytime we're having a
conversation anywhere near thisis, if you do one of them, it
might have an impact and itmight help.
Like if you do, if you just dothe breathing that might be
helpful.
(17:27):
If you're just focusing on yourpurpose, that might be helpful.
If you're just taking a 15minute break in the middle of
the day, that could be helpful.
But where I think it becomeslife changing is when we start
to pile these on top of eachother and we sort of start to
stack some of these habits.
Where did you start to realizelike, oh, this is having a way
(17:51):
bigger impact than what I waseven realizing or expecting.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, I definitely noticed it when I saw the
concrete evidence on my auraring.
I think that was.
I could feel different when Idid it, when I started doing
some of those things that youtexted me about.
But then when I looked on myaura ring, I was like no way I
have more restored time than Ihave stress time on a work day.
(18:16):
So that was probably my lightbulb moment of like, oh my
goodness.
And then we were still in season, so I went to my athletes and I
was like, guys, you have to dowhat he's telling you to do,
because this is working.
And then I told them I calledyou for different things in my
life and and I was likeimplementing it.
(18:37):
Um, so I was encouraging them.
And then I was telling otherteachers as well, like, okay, we
just have to, you know, slowdown our thoughts and know that
we can put things to the side.
And it's not.
I mean, it's so importanteveryone's work that people do,
but it's you can't stressyourself out that much, right
(18:59):
About everything.
You have to know when to alsohelp your mental health yeah,
and I think it can be.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I think it can be challenging at times to focus on
ourselves, because I know, likefor me, if I were to, if I were
to right now, you know, let'ssay, go work out at the gym for
an hour, that would mean thatI'm asking my wife to watch our
kids for this, you know thishalf hour, and then I'm going to
(19:28):
drive over there and then I'mgoing to do this and then I'm
going to come back home and nowit's been like two hours and
it's like during that time Icould have been getting stuff
done around the house, I couldhave been doing stuff for work,
I could have been I mean, fillin the blank with 10,000 others,
and that's.
That's not even being a coach inseason, that's just.
That's just like day-to-daylife.
(19:50):
Um, where, how did how?
Did you maybe overcome feelingI don't?
Did you feel guilty at allabout setting aside some extra
time for yourself?
Did it feel inconvenient?
Did you feel I'm too rushed todo this?
Like, what were, what were someof your excuses when you were
(20:10):
like I just I don't know if Ican do this.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I don't know if it was the guilty.
I think it was theinconvenience of like you're
always cause.
That was, you know, part ofthat working memory.
My, it felt like a hamsterwheel inside my brain, like
there's always something whatelse should I do?
Or sometimes I tell otherpeople it's like I have 50 tabs
open in my brain.
You know like every day, where.
Okay, what's the next thing,what's the next tab that I need
to go close?
(20:34):
Um, that I just couldn't stop.
So giving yourself that time tojust forget, or truly saying,
okay, this can wait untiltomorrow or we'll figure this
out later, type of conversations, or you know what, lucy, it's
going to be fine, you don't needto stare at this lesson plan
for two hours when you're onlygoing to teach it for 15 minutes
(20:55):
.
Just those types of permissions.
That's hard and knowing thekids are still going to learn,
like you're still going to standup there and teach.
So I think some.
So I guess, maybe a little bitof guilt too.
So a little bit ofinconvenience, a little bit, I
guess, of that guilt feeling oflike letting yourself kind of, I
(21:16):
guess, unplug from your worklife and then your personal life
.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
And what's that balance look like for you, like
in in reality?
Because with an athlete youknow I work with.
I work with high performingathletes all the time that put
so much pressure on themselvesand prepare at such a high level
and put so much time and workinto their craft that it's like
they don't feel like they'redoing their best if they don't
commit all of that time.
(21:41):
So how do you?
How do you go about let's sayit is that 15 minute lesson?
How do you go through someprocess where you say, okay, now
is enough?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I started a little bit more firm boundaries, I
guess, with myself of like, okay, right now you're at work, so
let's get as much work as we can, you know, in the allotted time
, like my prep, or when I don'thave recess due to you know
other times when I can do stuff.
So like working through that,finding other times to kind of
chip away at what would be on myto-do list, because what I was
(22:16):
noticing is I would be teaching,doing stuff, and then
overwhelmed with, you know, thenext day or the next week or not
feeling prepared enough.
So then what would happen was,especially in season going
coaching that takes up yournight, and then I would feel
like I need to pull back out thecomputer and do it again.
So then my brain was nonstopworking up until what 9, 10, 10,
(22:40):
30 at night, you know, andsometimes I compare that to
myself.
I'm like, okay, in high school,right, like I went to school, I
did volleyball.
The only difference at nightwas the homework part.
But then to not feel guilty, isthat now I'm the adult, right,
I don't.
If I can still show up to workand do my job, well, I don't
(23:00):
need to constantly keep worryingabout the week ahead.
So a little bit more of thosefirm boundaries and finding that
time to get that work doneduring my day.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, so I want to dive a little bit deeper into
some of the data and some of thescreenshots because you sent me
.
To be honest, it was kind ofnew for me because, you know, my
, my tracker just looksdifferent.
Um, talk to us, though, and kindof describe, like, what these
(23:32):
charts looked like beforehandand what they meant and what
they looked like afterwards andwhat that meant.
Because, I'll be honest, therewere, like I know, I know this
stuff works and I believe thisstuff works, but there were some
things that I was looking atthat you were sending me that it
was like holy cow, I didn't, Ididn't know it worked this well
(23:53):
almost.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Right, um, so I'm just reading this text because I
sent you one screenshot and itsaid zero minutes stress, zero
minutes restored, which I hadnever, like I told you, seen
that on my aura on a workday.
And then I sent you literallythe day before and it said four
hours stress, zero minutes,restored.
(24:16):
And it was a workday and Ithink I said, oh, my goodness,
did the brain dump.
Last night Bible, this morninginstrumental worship music
playing softly.
I worked in the pausing pointtoday and I did mindfulness and
breathing activities and thatwas just the difference.
So you'll see the colors onthere are blue is more of a
(24:38):
relaxful day and then thatpurple is more of your stress
day.
So all my stress days my graphwas always purple and like
barely blue, and then on myrestored days it's almost always
blue.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, and when?
When you reached out to me, itwas almost like you know you had
, you had this wearable and itwas almost throwing back in your
face.
You already feel overwhelmed,exhausted, worn, burned out
whatever those words are for you.
You're already having this,this experience that's just
(25:11):
draining you Right.
And then, on top of it, youhave to look at your phone and
then it's like I know I'mstressed.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
You don't need to tell me yeah this just made it
way worse.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, this just made it way worse.
So I would imagine, as youstarted to implement some change
, that when the reverse all of asudden starts popping up on
your phone, that that's maybe alittle bit more encouraging.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes, this is working and this is worth it, and we
need to do this definitely, andnow, even like I look at my
phone and I think since I'vestarted this, maybe my highest
stress day working was an hourand 30 minutes, and so now when
I look at it, I'm like, oh, mygoodness, that's so high, which
(25:57):
compared to a month ago itwasn't, and now, relaxing day
only been stressed out for anhour and a half Right.
So just kind of the differenceof like working through that.
Yeah, it's definitely neat tosee.
Especially I'm such a personwho likes seeing like the
concrete data of seeing that,and so when that was happening I
was like you have to see this.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, tell me, tell me a little bit, a little bit
more about the interactions withathletes, because I know, like
part of the reason I'm such abeliever in the go-to statement
was because I felt it in like aweek.
It completely changed myoutlook on a football game and
my role, what I was doing, wheremy head was at, how I was
(26:37):
feeling my ability to do my job,so much to the point that I
went back to my all the guys inmy position group that next week
.
And I was like you have to dothis.
It works.
I read about it in this sportspsychology textbook and it's now
mandatory.
It's amazing.
Tell me a little bit about howsome of that interaction went.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So all the girls, they wrote their own statement
and then we kind of copied thatfor them and kept it, and then
they had a copy of their own.
When they said it, how theysaid it, that was up to them.
That was from, you know, kindof when you came in and you're
teaching, and then.
But what I noticed when theywere doing it and it was like it
wasn't right away type of thing, it kind of was.
(27:18):
But then it just became morenatural and in the h huddles,
when we would have either asuper exciting moment where we
still needed to stay focused ora moment where we could kind of
feel ourselves disband a littlebit and needed to bring it back
together, we would do, theywould do the FMR release.
Um, and you know it, it would beeither me or another coach or
(27:43):
even some of the other girls.
They would just like come inthe huddle and they would stop
and go FMR, fmr, FMR, and theneveryone would be on board and
then we you would see all thegirls kind of tense up and then
release, and then we could talkabout what we needed to talk
about.
And then they went back ontothe court.
And when we did stuff like that, versus when we didn't always
(28:04):
implement it.
Sometimes whatever we said inthe huddle worked and sometimes
it didn't, but I noticed more ofa positive impact when we would
come into the huddle and eithertake a couple of deep breaths
or do the FMR and then go backout.
We were more successful fromthat huddle and that's.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I know that always.
You know, it's one thing forcoaches to to try and implement
cultural pieces and say, hey,we're going to do this
differently, or here's theexpectation, or here's, you know
what we need you to do.
It's a whole nother animal.
When the girls are bought inand the girls are now leading it
, and now the, the freshmen andthe sophomores are like, oh, oh,
(28:42):
the best player on our team isdoing this, you know.
Or the girls that are onvarsity are saying it, and that
all the other girls in the otherlevels are like, oh well, if
they're doing it.
If you could go back and tell ayounger version of yourself
(29:04):
maybe some advice just whileyou're still as an athlete, what
would that look like?
What do you think that advicewould be?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
As an athlete or as a teacher.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
As an athlete.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
As an athlete.
I would probably tell my pastLucy self to slow down, probably
tell my past Lucy self to slowdown which I guess that
correlates into today as wellSome of those things and habits.
But I would tell her to slowdown, take a couple of those
(29:36):
deep breaths.
I would incorporate thestatement because I think there
was times where I could havedefinitely used that as like a
foundation.
Especially when you're secondguessing yourself over your
ability or you know from what acoach says.
I think that's such a good,strong foundation for you to go
back to.
So I wish I would have had, um,a statement that I could have
repeated to myself, um, and thenI just I love the FMR.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I just like how your body feels when once you do it,
so I wish I would have knownthat as well and then the the
last question, knowing what youknow now, if you could tell a
younger version of yourself,maybe that first year out of
college teacher, coach,professional version of you,
what, what advice would you have?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
you don't have to go a thousand miles an hour all the
time.
Giving your best effort all thetime is going to be exactly
what you need and that it'salways going to work out.
You know it's always going topan out in the end.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, would you have listened to that advice as a
younger version of yourself?
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I mean because it's still hard when you tell
yourself that you know youalways, especially when you're
an achiever type ofone.
My first question is well, dothey want to?
Because?
I feel like this is one ofthose things that, until you
feel like you have that momentwhere you sort of come to the
end of what you're able to doand figure out and handle on
(31:20):
your own and you have to say,okay, I'm going to ask someone
else for help, like I.
I don't know how to necessarilycrack through to to those people
but, you know, I think ascoaches, we can continue to do
our best to equip our athletesand come alongside them as they
(31:41):
fail.
So, yeah, love, absolutely lovetoday's conversation.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Thanks so much for coming on and joining us.
Yeah, it was great, great,thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
If you've got questions or want some help
figuring out how this could be agood fit with your program,
please don't hesitate to reachout.
Check out mental trainingplancom.
You can click on parents,athletes or coaches up at the
top.
If you've got questions ortopics that you would love to
hear discussed on the podcast,please feel free to send those
our way.
(32:11):
And, as always, until next time, make your plan and put it to
work.
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan, today joined by a
very special guest.
We are wrapping up the end ofour focus cycle series and we've
been talking you know what isthe focus cycle, how do we apply
that?
And we talked last time aboutwhat's that look like with
(00:22):
actual athletes.
You got to hear an example ofthis being implemented in real
life and, super excited abouttoday's conversation.
Lucy, I'm going to go ahead andjust let you introduce yourself
and tell us a little bit aboutwho you are and how you got here
.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, well, thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to talk abouteverything and what I've
learned from you.
I'm Lucy Grenda.
I am a Westfield high schoolvolleyball coach, so I've known
you, I think, since you were myteacher and then, when I
graduated from college, cameback home and I started coaching
(00:59):
and I also teach here in thecommunity, so, and then you
recently just worked with ourgirls, which is kind of how we
got reconnected, and then that'swhen I gave you a call.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Just from a background standpoint.
You know obviously started, youguys started working with the
MTP Academy pretty early.
You started doing it in the offseason.
Last year.
I came in and did a livesession with you guys and we put
your team through the focuscycle how do you control your
mind, how do you control yourbody in these high pressure
(01:29):
situations?
And would love for you to justgive the audience a little bit
of background on why you reachedout to me because, I'll be
honest, I thought your text thatyou sent me was incredibly
honest, and it was.
It was, to be honest, a littlebit different than than most
communication I get from coaches, I think, which is why it was
(01:51):
so intriguing to me.
Take it, take us through alittle bit of maybe that
background.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah.
So it was that session that youcame in with our girls and I
was in that session as well, andso I was going through
everything that you wereteaching our girls and you got
to the point where you weretalking about their statement
and you went through differentkinds of statements that the
girls could choose from and yousaid pick one statement and it's
going to work.
And it does work.
(02:17):
And then you went through theresearch and everything to prove
how it works, and then you saidif your statement doesn't work,
give me a call.
I'm wide open.
And so I was like okay, I'mgoing to give you a call after
this and I texted you sayingbasically what I just said hey,
my statement doesn't work.
(02:38):
I am noticing that I get anxiousfeelings when I'm teaching and
I don't know how to control it,because sometimes I will, or you
know, we walk kids throughanxiety and nerves and um life
factors that happen, and so Ifelt like the things that I walk
(02:58):
my students through, I knew Ilooked at it almost as like a
trick, and so then my brain knewokay, you can calm students
this way down, but we actuallyknow why we're doing this and
we're not going to calm downthis way, and so then, that's
basically what I told you I waslike, yeah, I just I want to
read this text.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay, the I feel like it doesn't work to calm me down
because I quote, know all thetricks that I tell my students
to do.
Do you have any bookrecommendations to help with the
coaching, the mental side,which I'm sure you didn't mean
it, but I was like, oh yeah,your, your self-talk nonsense
(03:39):
doesn't work.
You have like a book that I canread that's actually going to
get this to work, like a bookthat I can read that's actually
going to get this to work.
Tell us a little bit more aboutwhat you know.
We don't need to go intospecific details about what you
were struggling with as far as,like, the situations.
You know that I don't think thecomparison game does anybody any
(03:59):
good, because then we startgetting into oh you lost this
person, or you're dealing withthis.
Well, what about me?
I'm dealing with, so I'muninterested in that.
But maybe just a little bitdeeper, dive into the specifics
of maybe some of the sideeffects.
Yeah, because I've also not.
(04:21):
I would say the wearabletechnology Do you have a whoop
band?
I did wear a whoop band.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I did wear a whoop.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I wear an aura ring now, okay, yeah, Because
obviously the wearablestechnology is kind of taking
this to a whole different level,where we can track these things
in real time and you can seevisual representations of what's
going on.
Tell us just a little bit moreabout maybe some of those
(04:46):
effects that you were feelingand what you were noticing
tracking stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Right, and I think you said it perfect.
Like everyone has a stressfuljob, right, like everyone has
something that's going to eithercause stress or, um, you know
that workload.
I mean, I'm a person who I wantto give a hundred percent to
everything, so naturally I justfeel like that's going to happen
.
That's who I was as an athlete.
I noticed that as a teacher, um, and sometimes that's hard for
(05:12):
me to turn it, know when to turnit off and know when to kind of
put myself into a lessstressful, um mindset, and so
when that happens, I would justkind of like let myself keep
going in that like mindset orthat mind track, and so I didn't
know how to, how to kind ofbreak that up.
(05:35):
I knew how to do it as anathlete, but then as a teacher,
I was noticing that I wasn'table to kind of not work myself
up over things that I knew Icould just put to the side later
, yeah.
So, um, that's kind of why Icalled you.
I was like I need something, Ineed a tool not to use again
(05:55):
Like I'm I'm a coach now, not anathlete, I'm not playing, so I
don't need, I don't need thatright now.
You know what you put theathletes through.
I need this for my what Iconsider my game day right,
going in and teaching Um, andthere were certain times of the
day where I would notice ithappening more so than not, kind
of like in my morning time, um,and I've done.
(06:16):
I'm super passionate about likehealth and fitness, so I've also
kind of, I think, correlatedthat a little bit to like with
nutrition and and everythingthat's going on there.
So I was noticing a certaintime of day that I was telling
you that I was getting superworked up about and I didn't
know how to calm myself down.
And then, um, we had aconversation and you gave me so
many great pieces of advice overwhat, um, I need to start
(06:40):
incorporating into my day.
And at first, when I washearing this, I was like, okay,
yes, I know that I should dothis Right, but then I wasn't
actually doing it.
And so when, um, we went overall of those things and then I
went over it myself and then Ijust started slowly
incorporating it each day.
I think the easiest one for mewas the breathing technique, the
belly breathing, and, um, thatwas just kind of eyeopening to
(07:00):
me because you know, we thinkdeep breaths, and then that was
just kind of eye-opening to me,because you know we think deep
breaths and then we naturallyjust do it from the chest versus
from the belly, um, so that wasthe easiest thing, that kind of
helped me in the moment.
And then the journaling, whatyou were saying, like just brain
dump at the end of the night,um, so I started doing that a
(07:21):
lot and noticed a big difference.
So the so the aura ring, ittracks your stress, it tracks a
bunch of like, it tracks yoursleep and your HRV, which is a
reflection over your nervoussystem as well, and then, but it
also tracks your stress which.
So when I called you and wewere having this conversation, I
(07:42):
said, ben, my stress levelsfrom my aura ring are about four
or five, six hours every day.
The only days that it wasn'tthat high was maybe the weekends
when I wasn't coaching, um, andso then I think it was I'm
looking back yeah, it was thenext day or two after we had our
conversation and I startedimplementing what you were, what
(08:04):
we talked about, and my stress,uh was, on a Monday, 45 minutes
and restored was 30 minutes,and I had never seen a restored
level, meaning, like my body was, you know, kind of kind of
balancing that out?
Um, so that you know, that's anumber that I would maybe see on
a Saturday when I'm justsitting on the couch not doing
(08:26):
anything.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's, that's awesome.
Um, I know when, when Pepeo gotout to the Dodgers, literally
one of the first things they didwas put him in a whoop band
because they wanted to see whathis recovery was like.
They wanted to be intentionalabout tracking some of those
metrics From my perspective, tokind of catch up the audience.
It sounded to me as you were,you know, because you sent me
(08:50):
that text as you were, you knowcause.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You sent me that text and I was like this isn't a
quick text fix conversation.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Um, I said we we need to hop on a phone call and
basically, you know, at thatpoint said all right, kind of
take me, take me through whatall you're experiencing
throughout the day.
And you know, I would say froma focus cycle standpoint, we
teach that to all our athletesso that when in that moment
(09:17):
where there's a reaction, andyou know I drop a pass, I get
blocked, I serve into the net,whatever, what is my body
automatically doing?
And how do I take back control?
Right, and so we talk about howthe lower part of the brain
reacts, just like if we steppedoff a curb and a car laid on its
horn, we wouldn't think wewould automatically jerk back up
(09:39):
onto the curb.
And then how do we use the toppart of the brain to basically
take back control?
But you weren't just dealingwith one moment right.
You were dealing with the entirelower part of your brain and
that middle part of your brain.
Your amygdala are basically onhigh alert Right All the time.
(10:01):
And you're just living in thisstressed state, and so in my
mind it was like, okay, well, ifwe want to change the lower
part of the brain, that's goingto go a little bit deeper.
Like I, I can show you thescience to prove that the focus
cycle works.
That's not my opinion.
It works.
But if we want to change, if we, if we want to go deeper than
(10:25):
that and you needed to go deeperthan that then we've got to get
a lot more intense.
It a lot more intense.
And so I just want to.
I want to read the text of the.
It was kind of like a quicksummary and it almost reads like
a prescription and like I'mgoing to.
I'm going to, I'm going to comeright out here and say, like
(10:47):
I'm not a psychotherapist, I'mnot a counselor.
That's not what I do.
Um, everything that I shared isjust from in my own struggles
with anxiety.
Here's some things that I didthat worked.
I can show you the research andthe literature behind why they
work, but I like I just want tothrow that out there to the
audience.
Take this for what it is.
(11:09):
Um number one I said reading,reading the Bible in the morning
and throughout the day, anytimesomeone's faith is important to
them.
I think that that that is agreat place to start and I can
show you this book right herehow God changes your brain.
Basically, takes a look at,okay, if someone is spending a
(11:32):
lot of time in scripture orsomeone is spending a lot of
time in prayer, what afunctional MRI machines say is
going on in their brain.
Number two I said journaling.
We talked about the permissionto forget the end of the day,
brain dump.
What can you control?
What can you not control?
Again, just giving you somespecific prompts that would help
(11:54):
you out the Sabbath taking aday off, having a day where you
rest and you recover.
I sent you a link to adifferent podcast.
The midday break was numberfour and we talked about the
video that someone was showingbasically the stress levels and
(12:16):
the cortisol levels throughoutthe course of a day when they
were at work, and it was justthis slow and steady climb,
always getting more stressfuland then they started to have.
You know, how do we, in themiddle of the day, maybe bring
those back down so that, even asthey continue to climb, at
least they're not getting ashigh as what they were?
(12:38):
We talked about the 15 minutesof quiet.
Don't talk, don't read, don'tpray, just be there, be with God
in silence, count your breathsor do nothing like slow down
amygdala activity and do theopposite of PTSD to your brain.
We talked about focus.
What's the purpose of you beingin education?
(13:00):
Why does God have you there?
What's he trying to do with you?
When is Satan trying to disruptthat or steal your peace that
allows you to accomplish thatpurpose?
We talked about counseling.
You know there's a whole bunchof solid therapists out there
that are way more qualified inthis area than me, as a mental
(13:20):
performance coach.
And I'm not going to lie, as, asI'm sitting here looking at
this list and I'm reading allthis stuff to you, to me this
sounds almost like anoverwhelming amount of stuff
that I've just kind of heaped onyou and said, hey, I did all
this and it, it really works,Good luck.
(13:41):
Where the?
Where the heck did you nowbegin on day one?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well, the easiest one for me, like in the moment,
especially because, like to me,teaching, I'm kind of like, okay
, I'm putting on a show now forthese kids, right, Like I'm
going to make it entertaining,but they're going to learn, and
so whenever I would startgetting overwhelmed, I almost
looked at that as like aweakness.
I don't need them to know thatI'm freaking out right now
mentally, right, Like I'msupposed to be that person who's
(14:07):
their safe spot, like duringthe day.
So the easiest thing for methat, um, you know, no one could
really see was the, the bellybreathing that you walked our
girls through.
Um, so I can do that, you know,sitting at my desk or like if
they're reading, I can just takea couple of deep breaths and
kind of do that.
That reset, Um.
(14:29):
So that one I started there.
And then I started with thepermission to forget, Because I
think when we were on the phoneI was telling you I'm forgetting
so many little details that Iknow I should remember.
And then, naturally, I'mcycling.
I'm like, why am I forgettingthis?
Why can't I remember this?
What's going on?
And then you said thepermission to forget, write it
(14:50):
down and then forget, andthere's always something.
In every job.
There's always something morethat you can do.
There's always something thatyou can take home and do.
So it's the stopping.
Write it on the to-do list,journal, it brain dump, whatever
and then go home and dosomething else a part of your
life.
So I started keeping a journalat school writing down certain
(15:13):
things.
I have my to-do list right infront of me and then at night I
keep a journal next to my bedand that's more of like a
reflection over my day.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, so neurologically.
Now what's happened is you'vegot all this junk that's
swirling around inside of yourworking memory and I don't call
it junk to downplay anythingthat you have going on in your
life.
I call it that because whenwe're trying to focus on other
stuff and there's thingscluttering it and clouding, it's
(15:45):
just junk that we need to getrid of and set off to the side.
We're not saying we're nevergoing to deal with it.
We're saying we can't deal withit right now, so we're going to
give ourselves permission toforget about this and then move
on.
What would you say was the mostchallenging part of trying to
(16:08):
implement these changes?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I'm still not good at it, but probably the Sabbath,
that one, because I mean I couldeven throw out a bunch of
excuses why, you know, not togive up a day to not just do
anything.
There's all.
Like I said, there's alwayssomething to do, there's always
something to prepare for.
Um, and then different seasonsof life.
I mean I find more time now,since we're out of season, to
(16:32):
find a little bit more of thatday to just truly give it to God
than in season, when I couldtell you a bunch of reasons why
I'm super busy.
So that one is definitely stillprobably hard.
The 15 minutes of quiet is hard.
I think that kind of goes alittle bit hand in hand with the
Sabbath, like just completelyturning off, of turning off your
(16:54):
brain and your thoughts andletting it actually just
decompress.
The easiest time to do the 15minutes is probably before bed,
though when I can't, I thinkthat's the easiest time yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
So, I think I don't know if you've felt this, but
something that I tell clientsanytime we're having a
conversation anywhere near thisis, if you do one of them, it
might have an impact and itmight help.
Like if you do, if you just dothe breathing that might be
helpful.
(17:27):
If you're just focusing on yourpurpose, that might be helpful.
If you're just taking a 15minute break in the middle of
the day, that could be helpful.
But where I think it becomeslife changing is when we start
to pile these on top of eachother and we sort of start to
stack some of these habits.
Where did you start to realizelike, oh, this is having a way
(17:51):
bigger impact than what I waseven realizing or expecting.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, I definitely noticed it when I saw the
concrete evidence on my auraring.
I think that was.
I could feel different when Idid it, when I started doing
some of those things that youtexted me about.
But then when I looked on myaura ring, I was like no way I
have more restored time than Ihave stress time on a work day.
(18:16):
So that was probably my lightbulb moment of like, oh my
goodness.
And then we were still in season, so I went to my athletes and I
was like, guys, you have to dowhat he's telling you to do,
because this is working.
And then I told them I calledyou for different things in my
life and and I was likeimplementing it.
(18:37):
Um, so I was encouraging them.
And then I was telling otherteachers as well, like, okay, we
just have to, you know, slowdown our thoughts and know that
we can put things to the side.
And it's not.
I mean, it's so importanteveryone's work that people do,
but it's you can't stressyourself out that much, right
(18:59):
About everything.
You have to know when to alsohelp your mental health yeah,
and I think it can be.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I think it can be challenging at times to focus on
ourselves, because I know, likefor me, if I were to, if I were
to right now, you know, let'ssay, go work out at the gym for
an hour, that would mean thatI'm asking my wife to watch our
kids for this, you know thishalf hour, and then I'm going to
(19:28):
drive over there and then I'mgoing to do this and then I'm
going to come back home and nowit's been like two hours and
it's like during that time Icould have been getting stuff
done around the house, I couldhave been doing stuff for work,
I could have been I mean, fillin the blank with 10,000 others,
and that's.
That's not even being a coach inseason, that's just.
That's just like day-to-daylife.
(19:50):
Um, where, how did how?
Did you maybe overcome feelingI don't?
Did you feel guilty at allabout setting aside some extra
time for yourself?
Did it feel inconvenient?
Did you feel I'm too rushed todo this?
Like, what were, what were someof your excuses when you were
(20:10):
like I just I don't know if Ican do this.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I don't know if it was the guilty.
I think it was theinconvenience of like you're
always cause.
That was, you know, part ofthat working memory.
My, it felt like a hamsterwheel inside my brain, like
there's always something whatelse should I do?
Or sometimes I tell otherpeople it's like I have 50 tabs
open in my brain.
You know like every day, where.
Okay, what's the next thing,what's the next tab that I need
to go close?
(20:34):
Um, that I just couldn't stop.
So giving yourself that time tojust forget, or truly saying,
okay, this can wait untiltomorrow or we'll figure this
out later, type of conversations, or you know what, lucy, it's
going to be fine, you don't needto stare at this lesson plan
for two hours when you're onlygoing to teach it for 15 minutes
(20:55):
.
Just those types of permissions.
That's hard and knowing thekids are still going to learn,
like you're still going to standup there and teach.
So I think some.
So I guess, maybe a little bitof guilt too.
So a little bit ofinconvenience, a little bit, I
guess, of that guilt feeling oflike letting yourself kind of, I
(21:16):
guess, unplug from your worklife and then your personal life
.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
And what's that balance look like for you, like
in in reality?
Because with an athlete youknow I work with.
I work with high performingathletes all the time that put
so much pressure on themselvesand prepare at such a high level
and put so much time and workinto their craft that it's like
they don't feel like they'redoing their best if they don't
commit all of that time.
(21:41):
So how do you?
How do you go about let's sayit is that 15 minute lesson?
How do you go through someprocess where you say, okay, now
is enough?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I started a little bit more firm boundaries, I
guess, with myself of like, okay, right now you're at work, so
let's get as much work as we can, you know, in the allotted time
, like my prep, or when I don'thave recess due to you know
other times when I can do stuff.
So like working through that,finding other times to kind of
chip away at what would be on myto-do list, because what I was
(22:16):
noticing is I would be teaching,doing stuff, and then
overwhelmed with, you know, thenext day or the next week or not
feeling prepared enough.
So then what would happen was,especially in season going
coaching that takes up yournight, and then I would feel
like I need to pull back out thecomputer and do it again.
So then my brain was nonstopworking up until what 9, 10, 10,
(22:40):
30 at night, you know, andsometimes I compare that to
myself.
I'm like, okay, in high school,right, like I went to school, I
did volleyball.
The only difference at nightwas the homework part.
But then to not feel guilty, isthat now I'm the adult, right,
I don't.
If I can still show up to workand do my job, well, I don't
(23:00):
need to constantly keep worryingabout the week ahead.
So a little bit more of thosefirm boundaries and finding that
time to get that work doneduring my day.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, so I want to dive a little bit deeper into
some of the data and some of thescreenshots because you sent me
.
To be honest, it was kind ofnew for me because, you know, my
, my tracker just looksdifferent.
Um, talk to us, though, and kindof describe, like, what these
(23:32):
charts looked like beforehandand what they meant and what
they looked like afterwards andwhat that meant.
Because, I'll be honest, therewere, like I know, I know this
stuff works and I believe thisstuff works, but there were some
things that I was looking atthat you were sending me that it
was like holy cow, I didn't, Ididn't know it worked this well
(23:53):
almost.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Right, um, so I'm just reading this text because I
sent you one screenshot and itsaid zero minutes stress, zero
minutes restored, which I hadnever, like I told you, seen
that on my aura on a workday.
And then I sent you literallythe day before and it said four
hours stress, zero minutes,restored.
(24:16):
And it was a workday and Ithink I said, oh, my goodness,
did the brain dump.
Last night Bible, this morninginstrumental worship music
playing softly.
I worked in the pausing pointtoday and I did mindfulness and
breathing activities and thatwas just the difference.
So you'll see the colors onthere are blue is more of a
(24:38):
relaxful day and then thatpurple is more of your stress
day.
So all my stress days my graphwas always purple and like
barely blue, and then on myrestored days it's almost always
blue.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, and when?
When you reached out to me, itwas almost like you know you had
, you had this wearable and itwas almost throwing back in your
face.
You already feel overwhelmed,exhausted, worn, burned out
whatever those words are for you.
You're already having this,this experience that's just
(25:11):
draining you Right.
And then, on top of it, youhave to look at your phone and
then it's like I know I'mstressed.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
You don't need to tell me yeah this just made it
way worse.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, this just made it way worse.
So I would imagine, as youstarted to implement some change
, that when the reverse all of asudden starts popping up on
your phone, that that's maybe alittle bit more encouraging.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes, this is working and this is worth it, and we
need to do this definitely, andnow, even like I look at my
phone and I think since I'vestarted this, maybe my highest
stress day working was an hourand 30 minutes, and so now when
I look at it, I'm like, oh, mygoodness, that's so high, which
(25:57):
compared to a month ago itwasn't, and now, relaxing day
only been stressed out for anhour and a half Right.
So just kind of the differenceof like working through that.
Yeah, it's definitely neat tosee.
Especially I'm such a personwho likes seeing like the
concrete data of seeing that,and so when that was happening I
was like you have to see this.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, tell me, tell me a little bit, a little bit
more about the interactions withathletes, because I know, like
part of the reason I'm such abeliever in the go-to statement
was because I felt it in like aweek.
It completely changed myoutlook on a football game and
my role, what I was doing, wheremy head was at, how I was
(26:37):
feeling my ability to do my job,so much to the point that I
went back to my all the guys inmy position group that next week
.
And I was like you have to dothis.
It works.
I read about it in this sportspsychology textbook and it's now
mandatory.
It's amazing.
Tell me a little bit about howsome of that interaction went.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So all the girls, they wrote their own statement
and then we kind of copied thatfor them and kept it, and then
they had a copy of their own.
When they said it, how theysaid it, that was up to them.
That was from, you know, kindof when you came in and you're
teaching, and then.
But what I noticed when theywere doing it and it was like it
wasn't right away type of thing, it kind of was.
(27:18):
But then it just became morenatural and in the h huddles,
when we would have either asuper exciting moment where we
still needed to stay focused ora moment where we could kind of
feel ourselves disband a littlebit and needed to bring it back
together, we would do, theywould do the FMR release.
Um, and you know it, it would beeither me or another coach or
(27:43):
even some of the other girls.
They would just like come inthe huddle and they would stop
and go FMR, fmr, FMR, and theneveryone would be on board and
then we you would see all thegirls kind of tense up and then
release, and then we could talkabout what we needed to talk
about.
And then they went back ontothe court.
And when we did stuff like that, versus when we didn't always
(28:04):
implement it.
Sometimes whatever we said inthe huddle worked and sometimes
it didn't, but I noticed more ofa positive impact when we would
come into the huddle and eithertake a couple of deep breaths
or do the FMR and then go backout.
We were more successful fromthat huddle and that's.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I know that always.
You know, it's one thing forcoaches to to try and implement
cultural pieces and say, hey,we're going to do this
differently, or here's theexpectation, or here's, you know
what we need you to do.
It's a whole nother animal.
When the girls are bought inand the girls are now leading it
, and now the, the freshmen andthe sophomores are like, oh, oh,
(28:42):
the best player on our team isdoing this, you know.
Or the girls that are onvarsity are saying it, and that
all the other girls in the otherlevels are like, oh well, if
they're doing it.
If you could go back and tell ayounger version of yourself
(29:04):
maybe some advice just whileyou're still as an athlete, what
would that look like?
What do you think that advicewould be?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
As an athlete or as a teacher.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
As an athlete.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
As an athlete.
I would probably tell my pastLucy self to slow down, probably
tell my past Lucy self to slowdown which I guess that
correlates into today as wellSome of those things and habits.
But I would tell her to slowdown, take a couple of those
(29:36):
deep breaths.
I would incorporate thestatement because I think there
was times where I could havedefinitely used that as like a
foundation.
Especially when you're secondguessing yourself over your
ability or you know from what acoach says.
I think that's such a good,strong foundation for you to go
back to.
So I wish I would have had, um,a statement that I could have
repeated to myself, um, and thenI just I love the FMR.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I just like how your body feels when once you do it,
so I wish I would have knownthat as well and then the the
last question, knowing what youknow now, if you could tell a
younger version of yourself,maybe that first year out of
college teacher, coach,professional version of you,
what, what advice would you have?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
you don't have to go a thousand miles an hour all the
time.
Giving your best effort all thetime is going to be exactly
what you need and that it'salways going to work out.
You know it's always going topan out in the end.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, would you have listened to that advice as a
younger version of yourself?
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I mean because it's still hard when you tell
yourself that you know youalways, especially when you're
an achiever type ofone.
My first question is well, dothey want to?
Because?
I feel like this is one ofthose things that, until you
feel like you have that momentwhere you sort of come to the
end of what you're able to doand figure out and handle on
(31:20):
your own and you have to say,okay, I'm going to ask someone
else for help, like I.
I don't know how to necessarilycrack through to to those people
but, you know, I think ascoaches, we can continue to do
our best to equip our athletesand come alongside them as they
(31:41):
fail.
So, yeah, love, absolutely lovetoday's conversation.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Thanks so much for coming on and joining us.
Yeah, it was great, great,thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
If you've got questions or want some help
figuring out how this could be agood fit with your program,
please don't hesitate to reachout.
Check out mental trainingplancom.
You can click on parents,athletes or coaches up at the
top.
If you've got questions ortopics that you would love to
hear discussed on the podcast,please feel free to send those
our way.
(32:11):
And, as always, until next time, make your plan and put it to
work.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com