July 31, 2025 • 37 mins
In this episode of the Coaching Minds podcast, we sit down with former Baylor pole vaulter Kierstyn Ballard to talk about the real journey behind the highlights — from early gymnastics to Division I athletics, injuries, identity loss, and choosing joy through adversity.
Kierstyn opens up about navigating mental and emotional challenges, her faith, and what it really takes to ask for help when things feel like they’re falling apart. Whether you’re an athlete, coach, or parent, her insight will challenge you to rethink what toughness means — and how to grow through setbacks.
Topics we cover:
- Transitioning from gymnastics to pole vaulting
- The mental side of committing in high-risk performance
- The identity crisis of injury and retirement
- Asking for help and breaking the stigma
- Her faith and mindset through four chaotic years
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/teams
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan here today with a
very special guest, kirstenBallard.
Kirsten, thank you so much forjoining us today.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
So, before we get started, would love for you to
just kind of catch us up.
Tell us a little bit about you,your story and how you got to
where you're at today.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
So I was a gymnast for as long as I could remember,
up until my junior year of highschool, Moved around a ton so
went to a bunch of differentgyms, had a ton of different
coaching experiences and alsoworked with a ton of different
athletes.
After many injuries I ended upquitting gymnastics, retiring, I
(00:41):
guess, my junior year, andstarted pole vaulting.
I didn't really know what polevaulting was going into high
school and then once I quitgymnastics and COVID was around,
we weren't really doinganything.
My coach strength coaches at myhigh school were like you
should try pole vaulting and Iwas like okay, like I don't
really know what I'm doing.
And let me tell you it was likethe most humbling sport I've
(01:02):
ever done in my entire life.
But I was convinced that Iwanted to compete D1.
So I trained super hard mysenior year and ended up
vaulting at Baylor University inWaco, Texas.
So I've been there the pastfour years, just completed my
undergraduate degree and now I'mofficially retired and I'm no
longer an athlete and sonavigating that now and going in
(01:25):
to get my master's still atBaylor and working part time.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Love that.
So you were a gymnast for mostof your life.
Is that fair to say?
Yes, sir.
And talk to us a little bitabout how did that background
maybe play a big role in how youapproach pole vaulting?
Because, I'll be honest, likethe thought of vaulting myself
10 feet up in the air is justseems absolutely terrifying to
(01:50):
me.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yes, yes it's.
I would say it's more thrilling.
Most people think it'sterrifying, but I think, because
I was so used to just throwingmy body around all the time and
gymnastics, I kind of had thisfearless aspect to me that I
wasn't ever totally scared ofpole vaulting.
Even though it really is amental game that you're playing
out there, it's way more mentalthan people think.
(02:11):
You're doing things with yourbody that goes against what it
naturally wants to do.
Everyone always says you haveto be a little bit crazy to pole
vault which.
I mean I guess is very fair tosay.
But I mean, yeah, I think thebiggest thing would probably
just be the fearlessness aspectof it and just being able to
like go all in, because if youdon't, you mess up one thing and
(02:34):
then it could end terribly, andso you have to kind of do
everything to the best that youcan, with no hesitations.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, and I know, with with a lot of the golfers
that I work with, committing toa shot is a big deal.
And you know, with with a lotof the golfers that I work with,
committing to a shot is a bigdeal.
And you know, with a with apitcher even committing to that
pitch, going all in, like we'renot second guessing, not doing
any of that, not well, you know,maybe it's this kind of shot or
maybe it's that kind of clubLike you got to commit.
(03:00):
I would imagine that commitmentis even more intense in
something where you're literallyhurling yourself 12 feet up in
the air.
Talk a little bit about, likewhat was the coaching that you
got maybe leading up to?
Hey, here's how you go all inand do this crazy thing with
your body.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So I mean, you're completely relying on another
object to do what you wantyourself to do.
You're trying to get the poleto fling you up into the air and
so, but in order to do that,you have to go 100% and commit.
Like you were talking about anda lot of the coaching cues that
I would get.
They would give us words thatwe would be given, and I
remember in high school one ofthem was attack, and if I didn't
(03:49):
attack it, then you go in lazyand you could end up not on the
mat and you could end up on thetrack just because you didn't go
100% in.
Attack was one of them.
Just anything that was going toget my body to actually react
well and not be complacent, andso that was the biggest.
I even brought that intocollege just because you wanted
that aggressiveness and youwanted to just commit the whole
time.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, Speaking of college, what was that like?
Packing up, moving across thecountry to Texas.
Was that that transitiondifficult for you?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Yes, my first one year was it was quite hard,
harder than I was anticipating.
I feel like a lot of peopledidn't warn me going into
college.
They didn't tell me how hard itwas going to be.
You could obviously probablyassume that going away to Texas
would be hard, but I kind of wasvery naive going into it.
I think it's because I hadmoved around so much growing up
that I just figured, oh, this isjust another move and I'm going
(04:41):
to be completely fine, and Ididn't realize that I wasn't
going to be with my family and Iwas going to be in a completely
new area with all these peoplethat I was going to need to meet
, and I was doing that alone ina sense.
So it was challenging, but Ifeel like the Lord taught me a
lot through especially thatfirst semester of college of
just like being my faith issuper important to me.
(05:03):
So being dependent on him andalso making the effort to reach
out to people in therelationships that I did have,
but also making an effort tobuild new relationships in the
place that I was in.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, what did you love the most about being a
division one athlete?
And then on the on the flipside of that maybe, what part
was way harder than you?
You ever realized?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I would have to say the best part about being a
division one athlete would be Imean, this might be a cliche
answer, but the team aspect ofit, um track is.
It's interesting because it isan individual sport technically
but everyone in their eventgroups gets really close and I
was very thankful to have acoach that led my group super
well, coach Brandon Richards.
He's one of the most incrediblemen that I've ever met in my
(05:49):
entire life just humans ingeneral and he led us very well
and so we were able to bondreally well as a group and I got
really close with people thatwere older than me and the
people that were younger with me, and so that team camaraderie
was super cool thing to be apart of Um.
I think the hardest thing wouldjust be the performance Um.
A lot of people don't talk aboutthe pressure I feel like it's
(06:10):
talked about more that comeswith being at D one athlete and
especially when you're not goingto be like ranked, like in the
top 10, top whatever, you're notgoing to be high performing
athlete and I would strugglewith this idea of being mediocre
and I had to come to realize atthe end of my career that me,
being a division one athlete initself is not mediocre, like I'm
(06:32):
not average for that.
But I did struggle with theconcept of performing averagely,
which would then translate tobecause sports is such a big
part of my life, I wouldstruggle with my identity and
all of that kind of stuff and Iknow for me in, you know I
didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I didn't play division one football.
I played D3 football at Wabashcollege and even there it was an
entire team made up of guys whothey were the captains of their
high school team.
They were the best player ontheir high school team.
They were you're you're notsurrounded by.
There is no mediocre, or theywouldn't be playing at all.
What do you think was for thelisteners that are dreaming
(07:13):
about maybe someday achievingthat goal?
What's something about thecollege athlete lifestyle that
you think would maybe surprisemost high school athletes that
are still dreaming about that?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I mean being a division one athlete and just a
college athlete in general is afull time job.
Like you are constantly on thego.
It consumes every part of yourlife.
If you're in the classroom,you're thinking about track,
even if you don't want to bethinking about track.
If you are just at home hangingout with your friends and
roommates, you're thinking abouttrack.
What am I going to be doing atpractice the next day?
(07:47):
How can I get the best sleep?
And so I think in high schoolyou almost Obviously you don't
think about it as often.
You're in school majority ofthe day.
You go to your practices atnight, sometimes lifts in the
morning, but it's not somethingthat you've grounded yourself in
completely.
But in college I feel like itjust means a lot more because
(08:07):
you are now performing at such ahigh level, at such a high
stage.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, thinking back to your time at Baylor, what
maybe stands out as a favoritemoment of yours?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I kind of want to turn it away from track a little
bit.
I loved every single trip thatI got to take with track.
I think that could be just ageneral memory that I have with
them.
But one thing that I was likesuper blessed to have at Baylor
was I have an incredible justgroup of friends that was
sporting me on the outside oftrack and so I lived with six
(08:41):
other girls, which normallywould come with a bunch of drama
, but they're my best friendsand whenever I would come back
from I had two knee surgeriesthroughout college and whenever
I would come back from Indy fromhaving my surgeries, they were
always there taking care of meand giving me rides.
And those are just littlethings that honestly were my
favorite memories because Ithink that it brought me closer
to them and just showed like howstrong those friendships and
(09:03):
relationships were.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And those are going to be long lasting relationships
in the future, For sure.
Which kind of kind of brings usup to the next section of maybe
some not so pleasant memories,some not such fun times.
I know you dealt with injuriesand had seasons where you
weren't able to compete.
Let's talk a little bit aboutlike.
What was that like mentally andemotionally for?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
you.
I mean, it's never fun beingthe one sitting on the sidelines
watching everyone else do thething that you love.
I think that the injury initself, while it sucked, it was
just.
It was more of the aspect of Iconstantly was comparing myself
to what my teammates were doing,and obviously comparison is the
(09:46):
thief of joy.
However, like it's, it's veryeasy to look at someone that has
that was in the same spot as mebefore I was injured and now
it's like completely excellingwhile I'm still over here trying
to rehab and get back to likewhere I was before and even try
to get better than what I wasdoing before.
I mean rehab in general.
I I wouldn't have taken it back.
(10:07):
I think that it taught me a lotand it gave me a head that is
very stubborn and I'm verydetermined to like reach goals
once I set them, and I thinkthat those injuries taught me
that.
But again, it just it justsucks.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, for sure, and there's a.
I mean, there's a piece of itthat's tied to your identity,
right, and there there's a pieceof it that it's like this is
what I've committed my life to,this is what my my time has gone
toward.
All this physical and mentaland emotional effort has been
poured into this.
What's that feel like when, allof a sudden, that's taken away
(10:44):
or put on pause?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I we talked about this briefly, um in the past but
this idea that, like now, thattrack is completely done for me
I'm going through like a wholegrieving process of this part of
my identity is almost died andI feel like, looking back on the
injuries that I had and beingtaken away from my sport so
often, that was almost likepreviews as to what was to come.
(11:08):
And so I think, while I'm stillnavigating that loss and being
taken from my sport, I kind ofwas prepped for like this moment
.
But I mean, it doesn't neglectthat it's still hard and there's
going to still be moments whereI am, I miss the track and I
miss, like, what I'm doing, butjust have to keep moving forward
(11:31):
.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, and I know we talked ahead of time about you
were.
You were raised in a home wherethe mindset was put your head
down and get to work.
How did how did that help you?
Maybe you know that mindsetgetting you to college and even
while you were at college, maybedealing with some of that.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
My parents are incredible and they've pushed us
to do things beyond our limitsour entire life and I'm super
thankful for that.
And that whole put your headdown and just keep going is it
helped?
It helped all of us through ourinjuries that we face, because a
lot of the times, that's whenpeople quit.
I remember someone told me towrite down every aspect of my
(12:11):
life where, like there is timeswhere I could have quit, and I
remember I took went throughfreshman, through senior year,
and I wrote down every singletime that I like struggled with
something, adversity hit, andthen she was like star.
Every time that you could havelike someone else would have
quit, and I just started about20 of them.
I was like this is crazy, but Imean I think about my parents
(12:31):
and then how they just continueto continuously are pushing us
to keep moving forward and tojust while it does suck like
embrace the suck almost, and Iknow some people don't like that
phrase, but I mean it.
It does suck like embrace thesuck almost, and I know some
people don't like that phrase,but I mean it is what it like
things happen and you, just youhave to keep going forward and
there's no really another option.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, were there.
Were there any times where justput your head down and work
harder wasn't enough and youneeded maybe to to reach out and
get some, some help fromsomewhere else.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
No, definitely.
Especially with this pastinjury, the, my second knee
surgery didn't go exactly assmoothly as my first one.
So, first one, I was back in amatter of five to six months,
jumping completely normallyright.
My right leg ended up being Ishould have been back with
within five to six months, butmy quad wasn't working.
(13:22):
I was doing everything that Ipossibly could have been doing
to get back and there was justthings out of my control where
my body just simply wasn'tletting me.
So the whole mentality of keepmy head down and just get over
and do it, I really couldn't doit because my body wouldn't let
me.
And so then obviously thatcomes with some mental struggles
that you'll get, and so I endedup going to see someone.
(13:44):
We ended up talking through itand she helped me a ton through
the beginning of the season, theend of that rehab, and I was
doing PT throughout the rest ofmy senior season and she was a
huge encouragement to me inorder to just process everything
that I was feeling and alsotranslate to like physically
doing things again.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, did you feel like there was?
Do you feel like there was anykind of a like a stigma battle
there?
Like I know when, when KirkHerbstreet was talking about he
was playing at Ohio state and hewent to go meet with a I think
he said a sports psychologistmaybe, and it was like it was
almost like he was looking overhis shoulder on the way into the
(14:23):
office because he didn't wantpeople to to perceive him as
weak or as not able to do it onhis own or something like that
Was.
Was there anything in the backof your mind that maybe caused
you to hesitate to reach out?
Or was it kind of like no, thisis, this is what I need to do.
This is, this is the next rightstep.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Oh no, I was.
I was terrible.
I was so stubborn.
I'm very much one of thosepeople that I want to try to
figure it out myself.
I'll bottle it all in and Iwill just let again, ignore
everyone else and what they haveto say and the advice they're
giving me, and try to just likedo it myself, because that's
just how I want to do it.
So freshman year, when I wasgoing through my first surgery,
dealing with being alone from myfamily and also dealing with a
(15:04):
lot of family loss, I wasrecommended to go see someone
and I was like no, but then itwas a requirement, I had to.
So I went in there.
I told them everything that wasgoing on in my life and they
were like oh wow, would you liketo come back?
And I was like nope.
I was like actually I wouldn't.
So I didn't go back for fouryears, ended up going to see the
(15:26):
same lady and I remember usending our time together and she
was like I'm so thankful thatyou came back.
And I was like me too, she goes.
You came in with a brick wallin front of you and now it's
broken down and you're able toactually like, articulate, like
what you're feeling, and that'shelped me a lot with everything
else.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Do you feel like you?
Almost Things had to be broken.
Almost that wall had to beshattered by a big enough event
for you to be able to realize,like oh, maybe there are things
in life that are big enough thatI need some outside help.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yes, I think there is so many big like big things
that happened in my four yearsat Baylor that I they should
have, just I should have knownto go see someone at the
beginning.
But again, like over and over,again, and again, I just think
God was trying to teach me like,all right, like you can't do
(16:22):
this by yourself, you need somehelp.
You can't do this by yourself,you need some help.
You can't do this by yourself,you need some help.
And so I'm thinking, everysingle time he tried to knock me
down, he was trying to point meinto a different direction,
which I eventually got there.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
But I don't think that there was.
I mean, the last surgery?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
yes, that was a pretty, a pretty big one uh, to
get me to go, but there wasother events that led to getting
there.
Yeah, and you talked a littlebit about experiencing loss and
we don't have to go too far intothat.
But I am kind of curiousbecause there are going to be
other athletes listening on herethat either A they just got
(17:01):
injured and their sport has kindof been been taken away from
them or put on pause, um, or youknow, or B they graduate and
now all of a sudden this thingthat's been all consuming in
their life and almost started toeven become kind of who they
are, has been taken away in inyour experience with you know
(17:21):
whether it's injuries, whetherit's graduating in in your
experience with you know whetherit's injuries, whether it's
graduating, comparing that withloss and comparing that with,
like grief and having to sort ofgo through a process what,
what's that?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
what's that relationship like maybe in your
mind and in your experience I Imean just reflecting on the
different types of loss I'vegone through.
I mean I've gone through I'velost my very close cousin and
when I was a freshman, and thenwe've all gone through breakups,
all the things.
(17:55):
And then a sport is just Idon't even, I don't even know
how to describe it it just is,it becomes a part of you and
it's hard for people to be like,all right, my sport is not who
I am, and that's something thatwas ingrained in me from the
very beginning, especially withmy Baylor coach.
That was something that he toldus all the time.
He was like your priorities areone, your faith to school, and
(18:16):
then family, and then family,obviously in school are a little
interchangeable there but sportwas last.
He was like pole vaulting last,and, yes, we all listened to
that.
But, like subconsciously, we'reobviously going to put this
thing that we've put so muchtime into and we love so much in
our identity, and so when thatgets taken away, you just your
(18:39):
mind feels lost and then you'retrying to replace it with other
things, and so it's definitelywhen people go through it, I
feel like they just need to taketheir time, and I think that's
one thing.
It's not.
You can't rush the process oflosing your sport, especially if
it's taken away from yousuddenly because you've put so
(19:01):
much effort into it and this issomething that you love, and so
you're just going to have totake your time and process the
way that you need to.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
For sure.
So the you know.
Another topic that we kind ofwe talked about a little bit
before coming on here was thefact that your dad is obviously
very public figure.
You know GM for the Colts andthere you know if, if my dad
quote unquote does a really goodjob at work or doesn't do a
(19:32):
really good job at work, youknow, no one's no one's going to
have any idea about it, noone's going to talk about it,
whereas you can turn on ESPN anygiven day and they're talking
about someone that you love.
You know, maybe in reallypositive ways, maybe in not so
positive ways.
How do you you've talked about,you know all of the lessons
(19:54):
that were passed on to you aboutyou know mindset, about
toughness about how to getthrough things, toughness about
how to get through things.
What were maybe some of thelessons growing up that you
learned, maybe with dealing somepositives and some negatives in
that public forum?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean growing up, my dad first of all.
I mean it's funny, because mybrothers and I were actually
talking about this the other day.
Sometimes we look at my dad andwe're like we can't, we forget
that you're the jam of the Coltsbecause he just at home he's
doesn't even act like he hasthat high of a role, which is
really funny.
So anytime I get these ESPNalerts or see anything on social
(20:35):
media, it is it's hard for meto see those things.
But also, at the same time,he's always told us don't read
the comments, don't do this.
And of course I'm going to, butI mean he told us not to for a
reason, because these peopledon't really know what they're
talking about.
Sure, granted, there's going tobe positives and negatives and
it's really cool to read all thepositive things.
(20:56):
But I think one thing that I'velearned from my dad there's
many things that I've learned,but especially in this past year
he has.
He would tell me if you couldwake up every day and look at
yourself in the mirror and tellyourself that you're doing the
absolute best that you can andthat's all that matters.
And I know that he does thatevery single day and I see it in
his work.
He works his butt off and heputs a lot of time into what he
(21:17):
does, and I want to be my dad inevery way that he is, and he's
just someone that I.
He exemplifies toughness andgrit and perseverance,
especially like in the NFL.
With everything that getsthrown at him, he keeps his head
up and doesn't?
He just blocks out all thenoise that's around him, and I
think that we should do the samething, especially if he is
(21:40):
excelling the way that he is.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
For sure I don't.
We didn't.
We didn't talk about this aheadof time.
But I actually have a quotefrom him that I use in one of my
team trainings and it's thewhole objective is helping
athletes realize how they can bein control of confidence and
positivity not other people andoutside circumstances.
(22:02):
And we talk about you know,like, who are the people in your
inner circle that really careabout you, for who you are?
And we talk about you know thepeople that are on your board of
directors, that you know yourstrength and conditioning coach,
your head coach, your trainers,things like that.
And then we talk about, likewhat do we do with maybe some of
the some of the extra outsidenoise, opinions, things like
(22:23):
that.
And he he said I, I don't.
I don't remember what thesituation was or what, what
transaction maybe had occurredthat led to this.
But some reporter asked him aquestion.
He said what I think you alwayshave to ask yourself is the
criticism fair?
I'll take it in If it's fair.
(22:44):
If it's not fair, then what amI doing?
I'm not wasting my headspace onthat, but if the criticism is
fair, then we've got to be ableto look internally and accept
that and grow from that, and Ithink that's so powerful.
Let's shift this into life,like where, where have there
been times where maybe there wassome outside noise and you had
(23:08):
to decide you know what, here'show I'm going to handle this, or
here's how I'm going to goanother direction?
Or, you know not read thecomment like what's?
What's that look like for youin real life?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
yeah, well, let me tell you, my dad is very wise
for saying that.
I actually don't even rememberwhen he said that, um, but he
did tell us that at home, soit's crazy.
Um, I would say that I meanthere was a lot of times,
especially growing up andlooking at the situation with my
dad too, I would have.
I've had instances where I'vehad coaches be like you're only
(23:41):
here because of your last name,you're only going to Baylor
because of who your dad is, thattype of thing, and obviously
those are things that my dadnever wanted us to hear, ever,
especially because he wants usto pave our own path.
And so that's when you have to.
That criticism you just have totake to the side.
I ignored all of it because Imean there's I know who I am, I
(24:04):
know what my goals are, I knowwhat I can control and the
mindset that I have and theeffort that I can put towards
things, and that doesn't haveanything to do with what anyone
else is saying.
However, like you were saying,there are certain things that I
need to take into account that Icould be coachable on, or
there's different criticismsthat I can take in that are
going to help me to be better atwhatever I'm doing in the
(24:27):
future, but at the same time,like just addressing the noise
and being able to discern what'sgoing to be useful to me and
what's just going to hinder me,and knowing that I'm going to
just control my emotions and howI react to the outside noise.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah for sure.
So the example that I talkabout with athletes when I'm
working with them one-on-one, islike LeBron James right If he.
Everybody's got an opinionabout LeBron love him, hate him,
whatever.
There's very few people in thebasketball world that are like,
eh, he's all right, right.
And so we talk about how, if heresponded to every comment on
(25:05):
social media, literally thatwould just be his full-time job.
All he would do is respond tothings like that.
We know, at that level youcan't respond to all the
thoughts and the criticism andthe comments.
You just can't.
It would consume your life andI think it's easy.
You know I'm not LeBron James.
In high school I wasn't LeBronJames.
(25:26):
People weren't talking trashabout me for the most part.
You know, on shoot, we didn'teven have social media back then
.
But now we're we're in adifferent day and age, like
there were.
There were high school golferson Westfield's team this year
who they won a statechampionship and for the past
(25:47):
three seasons they were back toback to back state runner up.
And there was literally a Idon't know.
I would assume it was a kidfrom another school, I would
hope it wasn't an adult, butsomebody created this account
where literally all they weredoing was talking trash about
high school golfers and so thethe reality is, people are
(26:10):
having to learn how to deal withsome of this public criticism
way earlier than than they everhave in the past.
If if you had some advice, foryou know a high school or a
college athlete who's maybedealing with some of that on
their own right now.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I mean I can't say anything because I mean I'm on
social media.
But, truthfully, social mediais such a distraction and, like,
when you think about it, Iguess the piece of advice that I
would give is like put yourtime into the thing that you're
like actually working towards,because if you're putting your
time into the thing that you'reactually working towards,
because if you're putting yourtime into social media, then
obviously you're going to feedinto all the comments and all
(26:49):
the things that it's bringing toyou, instead of investing time
into things that are actuallygoing to better you and grow you
.
Yes, while social media can beused to, I feel like maybe help
you in certain ways, I feel likeit can be more of a hindrance,
especially now with all of likethe criticism that comes with it
(27:11):
.
But I just I feel like it's adistraction to especially
athletes, because you're justtaking your time to like invest
into something that's just goingto bring you down, when you
could be spending that elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah, and you brought up your faith before.
I'd love to just dive into thata little bit.
When you're, when you'restruggling like what, what
helped you stay grounded, whatmaybe gave you a little bit
deeper purpose, like I wouldlove to just hear a little bit
about how does, how does yourfaith show up for you in times
(27:45):
like that?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
It's.
I feel like, especially withinmy past four years, my faith has
grown in ways that I wouldn'thave anticipated it to.
I would have said that my faithwas very strong going into
college, but I feel like it'skind of become my own Ultimately
, like my, I feel as of mypurpose in life is to serve God
and serve others.
And, uh, my one of my favoriteBible verses is Colossians three
(28:10):
, two say your mind on thethings that are above, not on
the things that are on thisearth.
And I feel like, as I reflect onthat daily, um, just being able
to set my dependence on God andknowing that, like his plan, is
greater than anything that Icould do ever on my own, just
helps me to recenter myself,especially when things are going
wrong.
Because, again, I'm a controlfreak.
(28:31):
I like to have do things my way, and if it's not, then I'm
going to still try to figure outhow to do it my way, even if
that's not what God has plannedfor me.
And so just having to recentermy mind, reframe my mind, to
refocus on what my purpose isand what, and just pray for what
the Lord has set for me insteadof what I have set for myself,
yeah, how's that?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
how's that maybe grown or changed, as, as you've
been faced with some of the kindof the real life adversity that
you've gone through over thelast five years?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Um, I, I mean, mean I could literally I feel like
freshman year I think the firstlike level of adversity was so
minor it was I had a terribleroommate.
I was just it's not a goodroommate situation, you know I
was like, all right, you knowwhat god like, it's okay, like
this is fine, it's just the test.
And so I was, like you know,feeling quite strong then.
(29:25):
And then my I go home forwinter break, I get COVID, and I
was like all right, I'm goinginto my first season, this is
not a good start.
And then things just keptgetting harder and harder.
My cousin passed awayunexpectedly out of nowhere and
he was just taken, no goodbye.
And that's when I was was like,oh, like I don't even know what
(29:46):
to do right now.
And so I just felt like I wasgetting hit after hit after hit
and then end of my track season,my freshman year this is kind
of funny.
Now I got hit by a car, whichis how?
Yeah, yeah, got hit by a car.
We can talk about that more ifyou want, but that's how I had
my first knee surgery, and so Iliterally told myself I was like
(30:11):
you know what we're, this is,this is it.
And so I like almost turned myemotions off because I was like
I don't even want to feel thepain of everything that I've
gone through this past year,because it hurts too bad to even
feel anything else.
And then, after that summer, Irealized this is not healthy,
this is not helping me getbetter, and I wasn't relying on
God in the way that I should,especially since he had proved
(30:34):
to be faithful throughout it all.
I made it out of all of thosethings and I was okay.
I still had everyone around methat I loved supporting me, and
so from then on, as, like, moreadversity came my way, I was
able to have a differentperspective and go back to the
whole recentering and just beingcoming almost to a place of
(30:56):
gratitude rather than a place ofwhat was me.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's all right.
So.
So I heard you had a couple ofknee surgeries and I'm thinking,
oh, like, yeah, she was runningand she went flying 12 feet in
the air and she like hurt herknee and then you just sort of
casually breezed through, I gothit by a car, which so like that
that's that had to have beenlike a whole nother level of
(31:23):
emotion.
Like, in that moment I wouldthink it's pretty easy to slip
into some victim mindset of,like what was me?
Why has this happened to me?
Why, like?
I would love to maybe just heara tiny bit more about that.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, so basically I was, we were traveling um in big
twelves and I was going tostudy for an exam and I decided
to go to this coffee shop.
I was on one of those, justlike the public, like lime
scooters that they had in thearea, and a car didn't see a
stop sign and hit me.
And so it wasn't my fault.
(31:56):
It wasn't my fault I have toremind people of that sometimes
but hit me, but I being the waythat, I was convinced that I was
still going to compete that daybecause it was the morning of
the competition, and so Iattempted to make it back to the
hotel and compete and they werelike, yeah, no, you're not
(32:16):
jumping.
And I was like awesome, but mykneecap had dislocated, which I
had had that issue in the past.
But the problem was that thisone slipped a little bit more
than it normally would.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So so that, uh, I I don't need like I, I got nothing
, I have no transition to mynext question.
Well, that is uh that.
That is certainly anunfortunate uh event.
I'm glad it didn't end up worsethan that.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, it could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It certainly could have.
Definitely cool, though, tohear about how, through all of
that, I mean, that story kind ofended with gratitude and a
complete shift in your mindset,your perspective, how you were
seeing those things as you kindof think about now, all right
now.
You were seeing those things asyou kind of as you kind of
think about now, all right nowthat I'm kind of headed off on
(33:09):
my own and I'm getting ready topave my own journey here, what
do you, what do you think thenext next few years, next decade
, looks like for you?
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Um well, I'm excited because I, while my athletic
career has officially ended, Iam choosing to stay within the
sports world and want tocontribute to that in as much as
like in a lot of ways.
So I am currently, like I said,getting my master's in sport
management at Baylor, and then Iam going to be working for the
(33:38):
AFCA, the American FootballCoaches Association, and I'm
just a graduate assistant.
I'm just going to be doing alot of different things.
I told my supervisor that I waswilling to try anything,
because just trying to figureout what I'm good at, what I
like, I'm pretty unafraid tomake mistakes.
I mean, one of my favoritespeeches is the man in the arena
and one of my favorite linesfrom Teddy Roosevelt was that
(34:01):
there's no effort without errorin shortcoming.
And so I'm going to just takethat into the next few years and
just figure out what I'm goodat and how I can best contribute
to the sports world.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Love that.
As we kind of wrap up, just gota few short kind of rapid fire
questions for you.
What advice would you give ahigh school athlete going
through a tough injury right now?
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Keep your head up and choose joy I mean, joy is
choice and go, just center yourheart towards gratitude, find
out like this injury has takensomething away from you that you
love.
But hey, at least you havesomething that you love, that
you're doing.
And just to keep your head,keep your head up and focus on
like what you're going to bereturning to.
Best advice you've ever receivedfocus on like what you're going
(34:46):
to be returning to best adviceyou've ever received.
I mean, I I mentioned it before, but I keep going back to it
because it just keeps being truewhat my dad said about being
able to look in the mirror.
And if you can, if you're doingthe best that you can, then
that's good enough.
Because you're going to again,like we've talked about, you're
going to have outside voicestelling you you're not good
enough, You're not doing wellenough.
In your mind is going toconstantly be trying to beat you
(35:06):
down.
But if you know who you are andyou stay true to who you are
and you're giving your full selfto whatever you're doing, then
that's going to be good enough.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
One word to describe the past four years.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Chaotic, uh, chaotic, let's see, I would just say a
challenge, but in in like thebest way possible.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
What are you most grateful for today?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
um, I'm most grateful for just the support system
that has been built around me,whether that's my family that
has constantly been there for me, my friends, the team that I
got to be around at Baylor, andeven just the future teams that
I'm going to get to work with.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Let's say I am a high school athlete or I am a
college athlete and I have gonethrough some loss, or I've gone
through some major event and I'mnow.
I'm now thinking maybe I shouldgo talk with somebody about
this.
Maybe I don't have all of theanswers, maybe I would benefit
from working with somebody elseor somebody with a different
(36:19):
perspective, but I'm still youknow, whether that's I'm scared
and I don't know if I reallywant to do this, or I'm just
thick headed, stubborn.
I want to do it my way.
I'm not quite convinced.
What would you tell thatathlete?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I mean we all have pride that I feel like we need
to drop, because when you lookat yourself and you and you
think you can do it on your own,there's so many things around
you that are showing you thatyou can't.
I mean, god is constantlyshowing me that I can't do it on
my own without Him and I can'tdo it on my own without the
people around me not always allabout you and that you do need
(37:03):
to reach out for someone tosupport you along the way,
because that's going toultimately help you get further
than you ever would anticipatedoing on your own.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well, Kirsten, thank you so much for joining us today
.
It's been awesome to hear aboutyour story.
If people want to want tofollow along, want to just see
where you're at in your journey,what's the what's the best way
that they can do that?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Um.
Follow me on Instagram, KirstenBallard, and I think that's my
social media for everything.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Fair enough.
Well, thank you so much foryour time today.
It's been awesome getting tohear a little bit about your
story.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Thank you so much for having me.
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan here today with a
very special guest, kirstenBallard.
Kirsten, thank you so much forjoining us today.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm super excited.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
So, before we get started, would love for you to
just kind of catch us up.
Tell us a little bit about you,your story and how you got to
where you're at today.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
So I was a gymnast for as long as I could remember,
up until my junior year of highschool, Moved around a ton so
went to a bunch of differentgyms, had a ton of different
coaching experiences and alsoworked with a ton of different
athletes.
After many injuries I ended upquitting gymnastics, retiring, I
(00:41):
guess, my junior year, andstarted pole vaulting.
I didn't really know what polevaulting was going into high
school and then once I quitgymnastics and COVID was around,
we weren't really doinganything.
My coach strength coaches at myhigh school were like you
should try pole vaulting and Iwas like okay, like I don't
really know what I'm doing.
And let me tell you it was likethe most humbling sport I've
(01:02):
ever done in my entire life.
But I was convinced that Iwanted to compete D1.
So I trained super hard mysenior year and ended up
vaulting at Baylor University inWaco, Texas.
So I've been there the pastfour years, just completed my
undergraduate degree and now I'mofficially retired and I'm no
longer an athlete and sonavigating that now and going in
(01:25):
to get my master's still atBaylor and working part time.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Love that.
So you were a gymnast for mostof your life.
Is that fair to say?
Yes, sir.
And talk to us a little bitabout how did that background
maybe play a big role in how youapproach pole vaulting?
Because, I'll be honest, likethe thought of vaulting myself
10 feet up in the air is justseems absolutely terrifying to
(01:50):
me.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yes, yes it's.
I would say it's more thrilling.
Most people think it'sterrifying, but I think, because
I was so used to just throwingmy body around all the time and
gymnastics, I kind of had thisfearless aspect to me that I
wasn't ever totally scared ofpole vaulting.
Even though it really is amental game that you're playing
out there, it's way more mentalthan people think.
(02:11):
You're doing things with yourbody that goes against what it
naturally wants to do.
Everyone always says you haveto be a little bit crazy to pole
vault which.
I mean I guess is very fair tosay.
But I mean, yeah, I think thebiggest thing would probably
just be the fearlessness aspectof it and just being able to
like go all in, because if youdon't, you mess up one thing and
(02:34):
then it could end terribly, andso you have to kind of do
everything to the best that youcan, with no hesitations.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, and I know, with with a lot of the golfers
that I work with, committing toa shot is a big deal.
And you know, with with a lotof the golfers that I work with,
committing to a shot is a bigdeal.
And you know, with a with apitcher even committing to that
pitch, going all in, like we'renot second guessing, not doing
any of that, not well, you know,maybe it's this kind of shot or
maybe it's that kind of clubLike you got to commit.
(03:00):
I would imagine that commitmentis even more intense in
something where you're literallyhurling yourself 12 feet up in
the air.
Talk a little bit about, likewhat was the coaching that you
got maybe leading up to?
Hey, here's how you go all inand do this crazy thing with
your body.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So I mean, you're completely relying on another
object to do what you wantyourself to do.
You're trying to get the poleto fling you up into the air and
so, but in order to do that,you have to go 100% and commit.
Like you were talking about anda lot of the coaching cues that
I would get.
They would give us words thatwe would be given, and I
remember in high school one ofthem was attack, and if I didn't
(03:49):
attack it, then you go in lazyand you could end up not on the
mat and you could end up on thetrack just because you didn't go
100% in.
Attack was one of them.
Just anything that was going toget my body to actually react
well and not be complacent, andso that was the biggest.
I even brought that intocollege just because you wanted
that aggressiveness and youwanted to just commit the whole
time.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, Speaking of college, what was that like?
Packing up, moving across thecountry to Texas.
Was that that transitiondifficult for you?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Yes, my first one year was it was quite hard,
harder than I was anticipating.
I feel like a lot of peopledidn't warn me going into
college.
They didn't tell me how hard itwas going to be.
You could obviously probablyassume that going away to Texas
would be hard, but I kind of wasvery naive going into it.
I think it's because I hadmoved around so much growing up
that I just figured, oh, this isjust another move and I'm going
(04:41):
to be completely fine, and Ididn't realize that I wasn't
going to be with my family and Iwas going to be in a completely
new area with all these peoplethat I was going to need to meet
, and I was doing that alone ina sense.
So it was challenging, but Ifeel like the Lord taught me a
lot through especially thatfirst semester of college of
just like being my faith issuper important to me.
(05:03):
So being dependent on him andalso making the effort to reach
out to people in therelationships that I did have,
but also making an effort tobuild new relationships in the
place that I was in.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, what did you love the most about being a
division one athlete?
And then on the on the flipside of that maybe, what part
was way harder than you?
You ever realized?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I would have to say the best part about being a
division one athlete would be Imean, this might be a cliche
answer, but the team aspect ofit, um track is.
It's interesting because it isan individual sport technically
but everyone in their eventgroups gets really close and I
was very thankful to have acoach that led my group super
well, coach Brandon Richards.
He's one of the most incrediblemen that I've ever met in my
(05:49):
entire life just humans ingeneral and he led us very well
and so we were able to bondreally well as a group and I got
really close with people thatwere older than me and the
people that were younger with me, and so that team camaraderie
was super cool thing to be apart of Um.
I think the hardest thing wouldjust be the performance Um.
A lot of people don't talk aboutthe pressure I feel like it's
(06:10):
talked about more that comeswith being at D one athlete and
especially when you're not goingto be like ranked, like in the
top 10, top whatever, you're notgoing to be high performing
athlete and I would strugglewith this idea of being mediocre
and I had to come to realize atthe end of my career that me,
being a division one athlete initself is not mediocre, like I'm
(06:32):
not average for that.
But I did struggle with theconcept of performing averagely,
which would then translate tobecause sports is such a big
part of my life, I wouldstruggle with my identity and
all of that kind of stuff and Iknow for me in, you know I
didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I didn't play division one football.
I played D3 football at Wabashcollege and even there it was an
entire team made up of guys whothey were the captains of their
high school team.
They were the best player ontheir high school team.
They were you're you're notsurrounded by.
There is no mediocre, or theywouldn't be playing at all.
What do you think was for thelisteners that are dreaming
(07:13):
about maybe someday achievingthat goal?
What's something about thecollege athlete lifestyle that
you think would maybe surprisemost high school athletes that
are still dreaming about that?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I mean being a division one athlete and just a
college athlete in general is afull time job.
Like you are constantly on thego.
It consumes every part of yourlife.
If you're in the classroom,you're thinking about track,
even if you don't want to bethinking about track.
If you are just at home hangingout with your friends and
roommates, you're thinking abouttrack.
What am I going to be doing atpractice the next day?
(07:47):
How can I get the best sleep?
And so I think in high schoolyou almost Obviously you don't
think about it as often.
You're in school majority ofthe day.
You go to your practices atnight, sometimes lifts in the
morning, but it's not somethingthat you've grounded yourself in
completely.
But in college I feel like itjust means a lot more because
(08:07):
you are now performing at such ahigh level, at such a high
stage.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, thinking back to your time at Baylor, what
maybe stands out as a favoritemoment of yours?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I kind of want to turn it away from track a little
bit.
I loved every single trip thatI got to take with track.
I think that could be just ageneral memory that I have with
them.
But one thing that I was likesuper blessed to have at Baylor
was I have an incredible justgroup of friends that was
sporting me on the outside oftrack and so I lived with six
(08:41):
other girls, which normallywould come with a bunch of drama
, but they're my best friendsand whenever I would come back
from I had two knee surgeriesthroughout college and whenever
I would come back from Indy fromhaving my surgeries, they were
always there taking care of meand giving me rides.
And those are just littlethings that honestly were my
favorite memories because Ithink that it brought me closer
to them and just showed like howstrong those friendships and
(09:03):
relationships were.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And those are going to be long lasting relationships
in the future, For sure.
Which kind of kind of brings usup to the next section of maybe
some not so pleasant memories,some not such fun times.
I know you dealt with injuriesand had seasons where you
weren't able to compete.
Let's talk a little bit aboutlike.
What was that like mentally andemotionally for?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
you.
I mean, it's never fun beingthe one sitting on the sidelines
watching everyone else do thething that you love.
I think that the injury initself, while it sucked, it was
just.
It was more of the aspect of Iconstantly was comparing myself
to what my teammates were doing,and obviously comparison is the
(09:46):
thief of joy.
However, like it's, it's veryeasy to look at someone that has
that was in the same spot as mebefore I was injured and now
it's like completely excellingwhile I'm still over here trying
to rehab and get back to likewhere I was before and even try
to get better than what I wasdoing before.
I mean rehab in general.
I I wouldn't have taken it back.
(10:07):
I think that it taught me a lotand it gave me a head that is
very stubborn and I'm verydetermined to like reach goals
once I set them, and I thinkthat those injuries taught me
that.
But again, it just it justsucks.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, for sure, and there's a.
I mean, there's a piece of itthat's tied to your identity,
right, and there there's a pieceof it that it's like this is
what I've committed my life to,this is what my my time has gone
toward.
All this physical and mentaland emotional effort has been
poured into this.
What's that feel like when, allof a sudden, that's taken away
(10:44):
or put on pause?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I we talked about this briefly, um in the past but
this idea that, like now, thattrack is completely done for me
I'm going through like a wholegrieving process of this part of
my identity is almost died andI feel like, looking back on the
injuries that I had and beingtaken away from my sport so
often, that was almost likepreviews as to what was to come.
(11:08):
And so I think, while I'm stillnavigating that loss and being
taken from my sport, I kind ofwas prepped for like this moment
.
But I mean, it doesn't neglectthat it's still hard and there's
going to still be moments whereI am, I miss the track and I
miss, like, what I'm doing, butjust have to keep moving forward
(11:31):
.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, and I know we talked ahead of time about you
were.
You were raised in a home wherethe mindset was put your head
down and get to work.
How did how did that help you?
Maybe you know that mindsetgetting you to college and even
while you were at college, maybedealing with some of that.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
My parents are incredible and they've pushed us
to do things beyond our limitsour entire life and I'm super
thankful for that.
And that whole put your headdown and just keep going is it
helped?
It helped all of us through ourinjuries that we face, because a
lot of the times, that's whenpeople quit.
I remember someone told me towrite down every aspect of my
(12:11):
life where, like there is timeswhere I could have quit, and I
remember I took went throughfreshman, through senior year,
and I wrote down every singletime that I like struggled with
something, adversity hit, andthen she was like star.
Every time that you could havelike someone else would have
quit, and I just started about20 of them.
I was like this is crazy, but Imean I think about my parents
(12:31):
and then how they just continueto continuously are pushing us
to keep moving forward and tojust while it does suck like
embrace the suck almost, and Iknow some people don't like that
phrase, but I mean it.
It does suck like embrace thesuck almost, and I know some
people don't like that phrase,but I mean it is what it like
things happen and you, just youhave to keep going forward and
there's no really another option.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, were there.
Were there any times where justput your head down and work
harder wasn't enough and youneeded maybe to to reach out and
get some, some help fromsomewhere else.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
No, definitely.
Especially with this pastinjury, the, my second knee
surgery didn't go exactly assmoothly as my first one.
So, first one, I was back in amatter of five to six months,
jumping completely normallyright.
My right leg ended up being Ishould have been back with
within five to six months, butmy quad wasn't working.
(13:22):
I was doing everything that Ipossibly could have been doing
to get back and there was justthings out of my control where
my body just simply wasn'tletting me.
So the whole mentality of keepmy head down and just get over
and do it, I really couldn't doit because my body wouldn't let
me.
And so then obviously thatcomes with some mental struggles
that you'll get, and so I endedup going to see someone.
(13:44):
We ended up talking through itand she helped me a ton through
the beginning of the season, theend of that rehab, and I was
doing PT throughout the rest ofmy senior season and she was a
huge encouragement to me inorder to just process everything
that I was feeling and alsotranslate to like physically
doing things again.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, did you feel like there was?
Do you feel like there was anykind of a like a stigma battle
there?
Like I know when, when KirkHerbstreet was talking about he
was playing at Ohio state and hewent to go meet with a I think
he said a sports psychologistmaybe, and it was like it was
almost like he was looking overhis shoulder on the way into the
(14:23):
office because he didn't wantpeople to to perceive him as
weak or as not able to do it onhis own or something like that
Was.
Was there anything in the backof your mind that maybe caused
you to hesitate to reach out?
Or was it kind of like no, thisis, this is what I need to do.
This is, this is the next rightstep.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Oh no, I was.
I was terrible.
I was so stubborn.
I'm very much one of thosepeople that I want to try to
figure it out myself.
I'll bottle it all in and Iwill just let again, ignore
everyone else and what they haveto say and the advice they're
giving me, and try to just likedo it myself, because that's
just how I want to do it.
So freshman year, when I wasgoing through my first surgery,
dealing with being alone from myfamily and also dealing with a
(15:04):
lot of family loss, I wasrecommended to go see someone
and I was like no, but then itwas a requirement, I had to.
So I went in there.
I told them everything that wasgoing on in my life and they
were like oh wow, would you liketo come back?
And I was like nope.
I was like actually I wouldn't.
So I didn't go back for fouryears, ended up going to see the
(15:26):
same lady and I remember usending our time together and she
was like I'm so thankful thatyou came back.
And I was like me too, she goes.
You came in with a brick wallin front of you and now it's
broken down and you're able toactually like, articulate, like
what you're feeling, and that'shelped me a lot with everything
else.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Do you feel like you?
Almost Things had to be broken.
Almost that wall had to beshattered by a big enough event
for you to be able to realize,like oh, maybe there are things
in life that are big enough thatI need some outside help.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yes, I think there is so many big like big things
that happened in my four yearsat Baylor that I they should
have, just I should have knownto go see someone at the
beginning.
But again, like over and over,again, and again, I just think
God was trying to teach me like,all right, like you can't do
(16:22):
this by yourself, you need somehelp.
You can't do this by yourself,you need some help.
You can't do this by yourself,you need some help.
And so I'm thinking, everysingle time he tried to knock me
down, he was trying to point meinto a different direction,
which I eventually got there.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
But I don't think that there was.
I mean, the last surgery?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
yes, that was a pretty, a pretty big one uh, to
get me to go, but there wasother events that led to getting
there.
Yeah, and you talked a littlebit about experiencing loss and
we don't have to go too far intothat.
But I am kind of curiousbecause there are going to be
other athletes listening on herethat either A they just got
(17:01):
injured and their sport has kindof been been taken away from
them or put on pause, um, or youknow, or B they graduate and
now all of a sudden this thingthat's been all consuming in
their life and almost started toeven become kind of who they
are, has been taken away in inyour experience with you know
(17:21):
whether it's injuries, whetherit's graduating in in your
experience with you know whetherit's injuries, whether it's
graduating, comparing that withloss and comparing that with,
like grief and having to sort ofgo through a process what,
what's that?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
what's that relationship like maybe in your
mind and in your experience I Imean just reflecting on the
different types of loss I'vegone through.
I mean I've gone through I'velost my very close cousin and
when I was a freshman, and thenwe've all gone through breakups,
all the things.
(17:55):
And then a sport is just Idon't even, I don't even know
how to describe it it just is,it becomes a part of you and
it's hard for people to be like,all right, my sport is not who
I am, and that's something thatwas ingrained in me from the
very beginning, especially withmy Baylor coach.
That was something that he toldus all the time.
He was like your priorities areone, your faith to school, and
(18:16):
then family, and then family,obviously in school are a little
interchangeable there but sportwas last.
He was like pole vaulting last,and, yes, we all listened to
that.
But, like subconsciously, we'reobviously going to put this
thing that we've put so muchtime into and we love so much in
our identity, and so when thatgets taken away, you just your
(18:39):
mind feels lost and then you'retrying to replace it with other
things, and so it's definitelywhen people go through it, I
feel like they just need to taketheir time, and I think that's
one thing.
It's not.
You can't rush the process oflosing your sport, especially if
it's taken away from yousuddenly because you've put so
(19:01):
much effort into it and this issomething that you love, and so
you're just going to have totake your time and process the
way that you need to.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
For sure.
So the you know.
Another topic that we kind ofwe talked about a little bit
before coming on here was thefact that your dad is obviously
very public figure.
You know GM for the Colts andthere you know if, if my dad
quote unquote does a really goodjob at work or doesn't do a
(19:32):
really good job at work, youknow, no one's no one's going to
have any idea about it, noone's going to talk about it,
whereas you can turn on ESPN anygiven day and they're talking
about someone that you love.
You know, maybe in reallypositive ways, maybe in not so
positive ways.
How do you you've talked about,you know all of the lessons
(19:54):
that were passed on to you aboutyou know mindset, about
toughness about how to getthrough things, toughness about
how to get through things.
What were maybe some of thelessons growing up that you
learned, maybe with dealing somepositives and some negatives in
that public forum?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean growing up, my dad first of all.
I mean it's funny, because mybrothers and I were actually
talking about this the other day.
Sometimes we look at my dad andwe're like we can't, we forget
that you're the jam of the Coltsbecause he just at home he's
doesn't even act like he hasthat high of a role, which is
really funny.
So anytime I get these ESPNalerts or see anything on social
(20:35):
media, it is it's hard for meto see those things.
But also, at the same time,he's always told us don't read
the comments, don't do this.
And of course I'm going to, butI mean he told us not to for a
reason, because these peopledon't really know what they're
talking about.
Sure, granted, there's going tobe positives and negatives and
it's really cool to read all thepositive things.
(20:56):
But I think one thing that I'velearned from my dad there's
many things that I've learned,but especially in this past year
he has.
He would tell me if you couldwake up every day and look at
yourself in the mirror and tellyourself that you're doing the
absolute best that you can andthat's all that matters.
And I know that he does thatevery single day and I see it in
his work.
He works his butt off and heputs a lot of time into what he
(21:17):
does, and I want to be my dad inevery way that he is, and he's
just someone that I.
He exemplifies toughness andgrit and perseverance,
especially like in the NFL.
With everything that getsthrown at him, he keeps his head
up and doesn't?
He just blocks out all thenoise that's around him, and I
think that we should do the samething, especially if he is
(21:40):
excelling the way that he is.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
For sure I don't.
We didn't.
We didn't talk about this aheadof time.
But I actually have a quotefrom him that I use in one of my
team trainings and it's thewhole objective is helping
athletes realize how they can bein control of confidence and
positivity not other people andoutside circumstances.
(22:02):
And we talk about you know,like, who are the people in your
inner circle that really careabout you, for who you are?
And we talk about you know thepeople that are on your board of
directors, that you know yourstrength and conditioning coach,
your head coach, your trainers,things like that.
And then we talk about, likewhat do we do with maybe some of
the some of the extra outsidenoise, opinions, things like
(22:23):
that.
And he he said I, I don't.
I don't remember what thesituation was or what, what
transaction maybe had occurredthat led to this.
But some reporter asked him aquestion.
He said what I think you alwayshave to ask yourself is the
criticism fair?
I'll take it in If it's fair.
(22:44):
If it's not fair, then what amI doing?
I'm not wasting my headspace onthat, but if the criticism is
fair, then we've got to be ableto look internally and accept
that and grow from that, and Ithink that's so powerful.
Let's shift this into life,like where, where have there
been times where maybe there wassome outside noise and you had
(23:08):
to decide you know what, here'show I'm going to handle this, or
here's how I'm going to goanother direction?
Or, you know not read thecomment like what's?
What's that look like for youin real life?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
yeah, well, let me tell you, my dad is very wise
for saying that.
I actually don't even rememberwhen he said that, um, but he
did tell us that at home, soit's crazy.
Um, I would say that I meanthere was a lot of times,
especially growing up andlooking at the situation with my
dad too, I would have.
I've had instances where I'vehad coaches be like you're only
(23:41):
here because of your last name,you're only going to Baylor
because of who your dad is, thattype of thing, and obviously
those are things that my dadnever wanted us to hear, ever,
especially because he wants usto pave our own path.
And so that's when you have to.
That criticism you just have totake to the side.
I ignored all of it because Imean there's I know who I am, I
(24:04):
know what my goals are, I knowwhat I can control and the
mindset that I have and theeffort that I can put towards
things, and that doesn't haveanything to do with what anyone
else is saying.
However, like you were saying,there are certain things that I
need to take into account that Icould be coachable on, or
there's different criticismsthat I can take in that are
going to help me to be better atwhatever I'm doing in the
(24:27):
future, but at the same time,like just addressing the noise
and being able to discern what'sgoing to be useful to me and
what's just going to hinder me,and knowing that I'm going to
just control my emotions and howI react to the outside noise.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah for sure.
So the example that I talkabout with athletes when I'm
working with them one-on-one, islike LeBron James right If he.
Everybody's got an opinionabout LeBron love him, hate him,
whatever.
There's very few people in thebasketball world that are like,
eh, he's all right, right.
And so we talk about how, if heresponded to every comment on
(25:05):
social media, literally thatwould just be his full-time job.
All he would do is respond tothings like that.
We know, at that level youcan't respond to all the
thoughts and the criticism andthe comments.
You just can't.
It would consume your life andI think it's easy.
You know I'm not LeBron James.
In high school I wasn't LeBronJames.
(25:26):
People weren't talking trashabout me for the most part.
You know, on shoot, we didn'teven have social media back then
.
But now we're we're in adifferent day and age, like
there were.
There were high school golferson Westfield's team this year
who they won a statechampionship and for the past
(25:47):
three seasons they were back toback to back state runner up.
And there was literally a Idon't know.
I would assume it was a kidfrom another school, I would
hope it wasn't an adult, butsomebody created this account
where literally all they weredoing was talking trash about
high school golfers and so thethe reality is, people are
(26:10):
having to learn how to deal withsome of this public criticism
way earlier than than they everhave in the past.
If if you had some advice, foryou know a high school or a
college athlete who's maybedealing with some of that on
their own right now.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I mean I can't say anything because I mean I'm on
social media.
But, truthfully, social mediais such a distraction and, like,
when you think about it, Iguess the piece of advice that I
would give is like put yourtime into the thing that you're
like actually working towards,because if you're putting your
time into the thing that you'reactually working towards,
because if you're putting yourtime into social media, then
obviously you're going to feedinto all the comments and all
(26:49):
the things that it's bringing toyou, instead of investing time
into things that are actuallygoing to better you and grow you
.
Yes, while social media can beused to, I feel like maybe help
you in certain ways, I feel likeit can be more of a hindrance,
especially now with all of likethe criticism that comes with it
(27:11):
.
But I just I feel like it's adistraction to especially
athletes, because you're justtaking your time to like invest
into something that's just goingto bring you down, when you
could be spending that elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah, and you brought up your faith before.
I'd love to just dive into thata little bit.
When you're, when you'restruggling like what, what
helped you stay grounded, whatmaybe gave you a little bit
deeper purpose, like I wouldlove to just hear a little bit
about how does, how does yourfaith show up for you in times
(27:45):
like that?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
It's.
I feel like, especially withinmy past four years, my faith has
grown in ways that I wouldn'thave anticipated it to.
I would have said that my faithwas very strong going into
college, but I feel like it'skind of become my own Ultimately
, like my, I feel as of mypurpose in life is to serve God
and serve others.
And, uh, my one of my favoriteBible verses is Colossians three
(28:10):
, two say your mind on thethings that are above, not on
the things that are on thisearth.
And I feel like, as I reflect onthat daily, um, just being able
to set my dependence on God andknowing that, like his plan, is
greater than anything that Icould do ever on my own, just
helps me to recenter myself,especially when things are going
wrong.
Because, again, I'm a controlfreak.
(28:31):
I like to have do things my way, and if it's not, then I'm
going to still try to figure outhow to do it my way, even if
that's not what God has plannedfor me.
And so just having to recentermy mind, reframe my mind, to
refocus on what my purpose isand what, and just pray for what
the Lord has set for me insteadof what I have set for myself,
yeah, how's that?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
how's that maybe grown or changed, as, as you've
been faced with some of the kindof the real life adversity that
you've gone through over thelast five years?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Um, I, I mean, mean I could literally I feel like
freshman year I think the firstlike level of adversity was so
minor it was I had a terribleroommate.
I was just it's not a goodroommate situation, you know I
was like, all right, you knowwhat god like, it's okay, like
this is fine, it's just the test.
And so I was, like you know,feeling quite strong then.
(29:25):
And then my I go home forwinter break, I get COVID, and I
was like all right, I'm goinginto my first season, this is
not a good start.
And then things just keptgetting harder and harder.
My cousin passed awayunexpectedly out of nowhere and
he was just taken, no goodbye.
And that's when I was was like,oh, like I don't even know what
(29:46):
to do right now.
And so I just felt like I wasgetting hit after hit after hit
and then end of my track season,my freshman year this is kind
of funny.
Now I got hit by a car, whichis how?
Yeah, yeah, got hit by a car.
We can talk about that more ifyou want, but that's how I had
my first knee surgery, and so Iliterally told myself I was like
(30:11):
you know what we're, this is,this is it.
And so I like almost turned myemotions off because I was like
I don't even want to feel thepain of everything that I've
gone through this past year,because it hurts too bad to even
feel anything else.
And then, after that summer, Irealized this is not healthy,
this is not helping me getbetter, and I wasn't relying on
God in the way that I should,especially since he had proved
(30:34):
to be faithful throughout it all.
I made it out of all of thosethings and I was okay.
I still had everyone around methat I loved supporting me, and
so from then on, as, like, moreadversity came my way, I was
able to have a differentperspective and go back to the
whole recentering and just beingcoming almost to a place of
(30:56):
gratitude rather than a place ofwhat was me.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's all right.
So.
So I heard you had a couple ofknee surgeries and I'm thinking,
oh, like, yeah, she was runningand she went flying 12 feet in
the air and she like hurt herknee and then you just sort of
casually breezed through, I gothit by a car, which so like that
that's that had to have beenlike a whole nother level of
(31:23):
emotion.
Like, in that moment I wouldthink it's pretty easy to slip
into some victim mindset of,like what was me?
Why has this happened to me?
Why, like?
I would love to maybe just heara tiny bit more about that.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, so basically I was, we were traveling um in big
twelves and I was going tostudy for an exam and I decided
to go to this coffee shop.
I was on one of those, justlike the public, like lime
scooters that they had in thearea, and a car didn't see a
stop sign and hit me.
And so it wasn't my fault.
(31:56):
It wasn't my fault I have toremind people of that sometimes
but hit me, but I being the waythat, I was convinced that I was
still going to compete that daybecause it was the morning of
the competition, and so Iattempted to make it back to the
hotel and compete and they werelike, yeah, no, you're not
(32:16):
jumping.
And I was like awesome, but mykneecap had dislocated, which I
had had that issue in the past.
But the problem was that thisone slipped a little bit more
than it normally would.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So so that, uh, I I don't need like I, I got nothing
, I have no transition to mynext question.
Well, that is uh that.
That is certainly anunfortunate uh event.
I'm glad it didn't end up worsethan that.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, it could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It certainly could have.
Definitely cool, though, tohear about how, through all of
that, I mean, that story kind ofended with gratitude and a
complete shift in your mindset,your perspective, how you were
seeing those things as you kindof think about now, all right
now.
You were seeing those things asyou kind of as you kind of
think about now, all right nowthat I'm kind of headed off on
(33:09):
my own and I'm getting ready topave my own journey here, what
do you, what do you think thenext next few years, next decade
, looks like for you?
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Um well, I'm excited because I, while my athletic
career has officially ended, Iam choosing to stay within the
sports world and want tocontribute to that in as much as
like in a lot of ways.
So I am currently, like I said,getting my master's in sport
management at Baylor, and then Iam going to be working for the
(33:38):
AFCA, the American FootballCoaches Association, and I'm
just a graduate assistant.
I'm just going to be doing alot of different things.
I told my supervisor that I waswilling to try anything,
because just trying to figureout what I'm good at, what I
like, I'm pretty unafraid tomake mistakes.
I mean, one of my favoritespeeches is the man in the arena
and one of my favorite linesfrom Teddy Roosevelt was that
(34:01):
there's no effort without errorin shortcoming.
And so I'm going to just takethat into the next few years and
just figure out what I'm goodat and how I can best contribute
to the sports world.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Love that.
As we kind of wrap up, just gota few short kind of rapid fire
questions for you.
What advice would you give ahigh school athlete going
through a tough injury right now?
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Keep your head up and choose joy I mean, joy is
choice and go, just center yourheart towards gratitude, find
out like this injury has takensomething away from you that you
love.
But hey, at least you havesomething that you love, that
you're doing.
And just to keep your head,keep your head up and focus on
like what you're going to bereturning to.
Best advice you've ever receivedfocus on like what you're going
(34:46):
to be returning to best adviceyou've ever received.
I mean, I I mentioned it before, but I keep going back to it
because it just keeps being truewhat my dad said about being
able to look in the mirror.
And if you can, if you're doingthe best that you can, then
that's good enough.
Because you're going to again,like we've talked about, you're
going to have outside voicestelling you you're not good
enough, You're not doing wellenough.
In your mind is going toconstantly be trying to beat you
(35:06):
down.
But if you know who you are andyou stay true to who you are
and you're giving your full selfto whatever you're doing, then
that's going to be good enough.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
One word to describe the past four years.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Chaotic, uh, chaotic, let's see, I would just say a
challenge, but in in like thebest way possible.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
What are you most grateful for today?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
um, I'm most grateful for just the support system
that has been built around me,whether that's my family that
has constantly been there for me, my friends, the team that I
got to be around at Baylor, andeven just the future teams that
I'm going to get to work with.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Let's say I am a high school athlete or I am a
college athlete and I have gonethrough some loss, or I've gone
through some major event and I'mnow.
I'm now thinking maybe I shouldgo talk with somebody about
this.
Maybe I don't have all of theanswers, maybe I would benefit
from working with somebody elseor somebody with a different
(36:19):
perspective, but I'm still youknow, whether that's I'm scared
and I don't know if I reallywant to do this, or I'm just
thick headed, stubborn.
I want to do it my way.
I'm not quite convinced.
What would you tell thatathlete?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I mean we all have pride that I feel like we need
to drop, because when you lookat yourself and you and you
think you can do it on your own,there's so many things around
you that are showing you thatyou can't.
I mean, god is constantlyshowing me that I can't do it on
my own without Him and I can'tdo it on my own without the
people around me not always allabout you and that you do need
(37:03):
to reach out for someone tosupport you along the way,
because that's going toultimately help you get further
than you ever would anticipatedoing on your own.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well, Kirsten, thank you so much for joining us today
.
It's been awesome to hear aboutyour story.
If people want to want tofollow along, want to just see
where you're at in your journey,what's the what's the best way
that they can do that?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Um.
Follow me on Instagram, KirstenBallard, and I think that's my
social media for everything.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Fair enough.
Well, thank you so much foryour time today.
It's been awesome getting tohear a little bit about your
story.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Thank you so much for having me.
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