September 8, 2025 • 44 mins
Confidence doesn’t come from hype—it comes from work. In Episode #2 of our Confidence Series, we break down how athletes, coaches, and parents can build earned confidence through three critical “bricks”:
- Reps – putting in the work with intention
- Evidence – gathering proof of growth and wins
- Preparation – creating routines that build stability
You’ll hear stories from the field, practical tools (like the Rep Tracker and Confidence Journal), and the science behind why deliberate practice and routines create real, lasting belief.
📖 Following along with the Confidence book? Grab your copy on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4pfeU5a and be sure to download the free workbook that comes with it!
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/teams
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan.
So excited to be back with youguys, continuing our series on
confidence, going through mynewest book, confidence Tools to
Build Belief for Athletes,coaches and Parents.
If you have not listened to thefirst episode, would encourage
(00:21):
you to pause this and just goback real quick, give it a
listen so that you've got someof the background information.
Today we are hopping straightinto part two.
It's all about earnedconfidence, confidence that's
built through reps, preparationand proof.
I had somebody ask me why didyou write this book?
(00:43):
And, to be honest, we're now inthe thousands plural of
athletes that we've worked withacross 100 plus different
schools in 14 different states.
That's just me.
That's not including some ofthe certified coaches and some
of the coaches that we work withthat then go and train.
They're athletes and I've heardI can't tell you how many times
(01:08):
I'm not confident or my son ormy daughter are just not
confident.
When this happens duringcompetition and on the coaching
side of things, you know my jobis to try and figure out.
Well, why not?
(01:28):
Because there are a wide, widerange of reasons for someone to
not be confident and all toooften we just say, oh, you just
got to believe or you got to beconfident in yourself, but we
don't actually know how to teachthat, how to coach that.
I'll be honest, I didn't.
(01:50):
When I started doing this adecade plus ago, and I was
working with a quarterback who Ifelt like should be confident,
I was confident in theirpreparation.
I believed that they had thetools they needed to succeed.
I believed that they had put inthe time and put in the work,
but for some reason they werenot, and so it didn't matter
(02:13):
what my level of confidence was.
It mattered did they believethat they have what it takes to
succeed?
I would say, just going backthrough every athlete that I
have ever worked with, this bookincludes the tools that I would
need to be able to work withthat athlete and help them build
their confidence the right wayor repair the holes in their
(02:37):
confidence that are eithermissing or were damaged or just
weren't put there to begin with.
I absolutely believe that thereis a place for therapy on the
mental health side of things.
I love my therapist.
She's awesome at what she does,and I also think that there's a
time and a place for mentalperformance coaching, because
(03:02):
there was some deep work that Ineeded to do with my therapist
and be able to, you know, workthrough some emotions and
process some things that hadhappened in the past.
But then there were also sometimes where it was like, okay,
but now I need to like, go getto work.
And now I I want some actionsteps so that I can start seeing
(03:24):
results.
And there've been plenty ofathletes who I'm working with
and it's like I've got thistournament coming up and we need
to get rolling, like, let's getto work.
We need a plan so that I can beconfident in this moment.
And so one of my, one of myformer coaches, jake Gilbert,
called it our Friday nightproduct, and the concept was
(03:45):
simple.
It was on Friday night,everyone in the community is
going to come out and they'regoing to see this product that
we put on the field and in thatmoment we're going to be
evaluated as coaches, asathletes.
Do we have what it takes?
Were we quote, quote, unquotesuccessful?
(04:08):
That's going to.
That's going to look differenttimes.
That doesn't always mean winner, loss, but at the end of the
day, there's going to be a game,there's going to be a product
put out there on the field andeveryone's going to see who is
more prepared, who is moretalented, et cetera.
And so what?
What I'm trying to do with thisbook is help you with your
(04:30):
Friday night product, whetherthat's in the business side of
things, and you need to beconfident going into close a
sale, going into to lead a groupof people that you're in charge
of.
Whether that's in the arena ofperformance I've got
professional singers that I'veworked with, actors and
actresses, musicians whetherthat's you're an athlete
(04:51):
yourself and you are trying tobuild your confidence.
You want to go out therebelieving and knowing that you
have what it takes to besuccessful.
You're a coach who's trying tobuild confidence in the men and
women or the boys and girls thatyou are coaching, or it's a
parent, which, I've got to say,I'm starting to realize that's
(05:14):
maybe one of the toughest roles,because there's so many times,
even with my own kids, that Iknow what they need and I know
how to fix it.
They don't always necessarilywant to hear it from me.
Sometimes it needs to come fromsomewhere else.
Sometimes it's more impactfulwhen someone else says it, just
(05:37):
because there are times thatthey get tired of hearing the
same things over and over fromme.
I think watching my son orwatching one of my daughters
struggle is way more challengingand way more difficult than
anything that I've ever had togo through.
So, no matter who you are, nomatter why you picked up this
book, no matter why you'relistening to this podcast, my
(06:00):
hope is that I can give youadditional value, which kind of
brings me to the whole purposeof this podcast series.
I'm making the assumption thatyou have the book.
This is not an audio book.
I'm not going to just read thisthing to you.
Everybody would be bored out oftheir mind because hopefully
you've all have a copy of thisand have at least started
(06:21):
reading through it.
I'm also making the assumptionthat you have the workbook.
For those of you that arewatching the video version of
this podcast, I mean, here'smine.
I literally printed out each oneof the worksheets.
I three-hole punched them andthey're in a binder.
If you have not downloaded that, the link to do so is in the
(06:46):
book.
I would encourage you to getthose because, again, they're
not the exact same thing.
The idea in the book is it goesa little bit deeper.
The idea on the worksheets is.
It goes a little bit quickerand we'll talk about, you know,
in some ways, how do weintegrate this, how do we use
(07:06):
this?
You can almost think of this,these podcast episodes, as, like
a I don't know.
My wife's in a book club andthey sit around and sometimes
they talk about the book.
Other times I feel like it'sjust social.
But that's a.
That's a side topic In my mind.
If you were to buy this book,you were to read this book and
(07:26):
then you and I sat down and hada conversation about it.
My hope is that this podcastsort of reflects that.
It's got some additionalcontent.
It's got some ways that you canimplement this.
It's got some stories about thewhy behind this or how I've
seen this, how I've used thiswith different athletes.
(07:47):
Format wise, we're going to gothrough kind of the main idea of
each chapter, or what we calleach brick, and we'll give you a
little bit of the science.
We're trying to abide by theGoldilocks principle here.
If we have no science, you knowit's that that chair is too
small and Goldilocks principlehere.
If we have no science, you knowit's, it's that that chair is
too small and Goldilocks didn'twant to sit in it.
(08:09):
But on the other side we alsothat chair can't be too big or
that porridge can't be too hot,like we don't want this to turn
into a neuroscience textbook.
And if you're one of thosefolks like me who kind of nerds
out on that stuff and you dowant to read more, all of those
resources are in the back of thebook, so have at it.
(08:30):
You can keep digging to yourheart's content.
But what I'm trying to do issay here's just the right amount
and that's not going to beperfect for everyone.
Certainly I'm just going off ofkind of the average of all the
athletes and all the coaches andall the parents that I've
(08:51):
talked with and worked with.
I think when we don't presentany of the science, it comes
across as fake or made up.
That's where we get theresistance to.
Well, I don't want to bepositive.
How could I be positive?
There's nothing to be positiveabout in this situation.
I just fill in the blank withsomething that you screwed up
(09:12):
during competition.
You know, I just threw aninterception, I just got a bogey
, I just lost my race.
There's nothing to be positiveabout.
And so just telling everyonehey.
And so just telling everyone,hey, be positive feels fake.
(09:41):
But when we can say, look, ifyou allow yourself to spiral
into this negativity, here'ssome of the research about what
that does to your muscle memory.
Here's what that does tocortisol levels.
Here's why you're no longermaking as good of decisions.
So, instead of being happy withbeing mediocre or just
accepting failure, instead we'regoing to direct our focus and
our attention somewhere else.
We're going to intentionallychoose not to spiral into
negativity so that we cancontinue performing at a high
(10:04):
level.
Here's the science behind whyit's important, a little bit of
the science behind how we do it.
But, more importantly, here'sthe action steps that you can
take during competition the nexttime.
Now we've got our athletes, nowthey're hooked.
Now it's like, oh okay, well,maybe that is actually legit.
Maybe I should give this a try.
(10:24):
Okay, well, maybe that isactually legit, maybe I should
give this a try.
So that's going to be.
That's going to be kind of theformat moving forward.
That's my goal is to giveadditional value and add on to
the book and add on to theworksheets.
So, without further ado, parttwo.
So part two is is basicallythis concept that confidence is
(10:44):
built through reps andpreparation and proof.
There's going to be threebricks or three chapters where
we basically talk through how dowe build confidence?
Well, to start off, we've gotto take some action and starting
on page 28, it's chapter three,the rep brick.
(11:06):
This is kind of the idea thatit doesn't matter how positive
your self-talk is, it doesn'tmatter what breathing techniques
you use, it doesn't matter allthe rest of the stuff that we
get to later.
None of that matters if youdon't do the work.
And I'll be honest, there havebeen plenty of athletes who I
(11:29):
just kind of assume, because ofthe school that they're at or
the program that they'reparticipating in, that they are
preparing the right way andthey're putting in reps.
And you know, there've been,there've been times where I
didn't check this early enoughand I just kind of made some
assumptions and it came back tobite me in the butt and, to be
(11:49):
honest, had we started here, hadwe evaluated this a little bit
better, the the improvement inthose athletes that I was
working with, that theimprovement in their confidence,
would have been expedited quitea bit.
But I I've skipped that brickbefore.
It's kind of the idea that ifyou're a basketball player, that
(12:13):
brick before.
It's kind of the idea that ifyou're a basketball player and
you want to be better atshooting a three-pointer, you're
going to have to practice thatIf you want to be confident at
the end of a game that you cancatch that pass, step back and
drain that three, it needs to besomething that you've done over
and over and over and even thenit's not going to be a
(12:35):
guarantee that it's going tohappen.
But you know, hey, I'veintentionally put in the work,
I've done what's required of meto be good enough to do this.
And sometimes we come up short.
Sometimes we think we're doingenough work, we think we're
practicing hard enough, we thinkwe're putting in the work in
(12:57):
the weight room and the work inthe film room and the work you
know all of those things.
But that Friday night productreveals to us, or that
competition moment reveals to ushey, you know it's not good
enough.
I heard Alex Hermosi quote uh,on one of his podcast episodes
(13:18):
that I absolutely loved and itwas I'm not going to do my best,
I'm going to do what's required.
And you know just kind of thisidea that it doesn't matter, it
doesn't matter how good I am,it's going to take whatever it
takes to accomplish a certainlevel, to reach a certain level,
(13:40):
accomplish a certain dream,things like that.
And so if my best isn't goodenough, sometimes I've got to go
back to work, I've got to putin the time, I've got to put in
the reps to be able to improvein that area.
Just a little bit of the science.
Remember?
We talked about deliberatepractice.
I think that's a reallypowerful one that if I was a
(14:04):
coach who was responsible for aprogram, I would want to figure
out.
What is deliberate practice?
How are we doing that and howcan I bring attention to that so
(14:37):
that my athletes also see howdeliberate we're being about
practice, how we're evaluatinghow practice went, not confusing
activity with productivity.
We are being intentional, everysingle rep, every single day.
In this chapter we talked aboutself-efficacy, or basically Dr
Bandura's work on this conceptof how people build belief in
their ability to succeed.
I think it's important ascoaches that we show the
athletes what this progressionlooks like.
(14:58):
If I was an individual athletewho was listening to this and
you know, maybe you don't have agreat coaching staff, maybe
they're not preparing you aswell as they should be, okay,
well, that's unfortunate.
What are you going to do aboutit?
How are you know, what are,what are the skills that you
(15:19):
need to develop from the bottomup, and how are you going to
practice those skills?
Is that going to be, you know,getting extra lessons?
Is that going to be extra work?
Can you just go have aconversation with your coach and
say, hey, I think I need toimprove in these areas.
How can I do that?
You know?
Can we stick around afterpractice?
(15:41):
Can we come in before practice?
Are there things that I can doon my own?
Because, you know, ultimatelywe talked about, you know?
The next one was neuroplasticity.
We talked about this idea andthis concept that our brains can
grow, our ability to beconfident can change.
(16:02):
We can rewire our, we canrewire neural pathways so that
there is more confidence, thegrowth mindset.
All of these things sort ofplay into.
There is a process to buildconfidence, and I think it's
important that we start thereand that we're making sure that
(16:24):
we're not cutting any corners inour preparation.
One of the things that JoshMiracle talks about all the time
is, when you cut corners, youcut confidence, and so I think
we need to be intentional,either as individuals or as
coaches, to point out the factthat, look, if you're not doing
(16:45):
everything that you can everysingle time you step onto that
practice field, then ultimatelyyou're cutting your confidence.
And so in the book, you know, wetalked about some different
tools like the rep tracker.
You know an individual athletecould certainly use something
like that.
I've done that before withathletes who don't feel like
(17:07):
they're prepared enough.
Uh, the, the confidence journalis is something that's similar.
Some athletes like journaling alittle bit more, others don't.
Uh, we actually have a wholepodcast episode called does
journaling actually do anything?
Uh, yes, is spoiler alert, isthe answer.
(17:29):
Um, you know, but but if Ican't get an athlete to journal,
maybe I can get them to justwrite down what were three wins
from.
Today was one of the othertools.
Somehow, if I'm working with anathlete and they don't feel
confident because they're notputting in enough reps quantity
(17:50):
wise, good enough reps, qualitywise you know they're not.
They're not doing it over along enough period of time to
where they burn it into theirmuscle memory.
I think the the big takeawayhere is not only do they need to
put in the work, but somehow weneed to document that.
Somehow we need to documentthat.
Somehow we need to point thatout, somehow they need to see
(18:13):
that building so that they canpiece together in their mind.
Oh, I have earned the right tobe confident.
Which kind of?
Next brings us to the worksheet.
If you downloaded the workbook,brick number one reps we've got
some different sections on eachone of these worksheets.
So the first one is learn.
(18:33):
We need athletes to knowconfidence doesn't come from
hype.
We need them to know it comesfrom work and that each rep you
put in really becomes a brick inthis wall that we're building.
And so if they don't havemeaningful reps, we want to help
them recognize that and we wantto help them do something about
(18:57):
it.
So you know, I'll be honest,just handing this worksheet to
an athlete, there will be sometimes where you know they maybe
have enough personal awarenessto be able to analyze themselves
with a younger group ofathletes.
You know, instead of justreading these two sentences and
(19:20):
thinking that, that's going tohelp them realize how important
confidence is, you know, maybeyou need to tell a story, maybe
you need to talk about your ownexperience.
So the learn section, I thinkyou need to look at that you
need to be aware of.
You know where are my athletesat?
Do they know this?
Do they believe this?
Do they think this is just madeup a bunch of hokey, fake stuff
(19:43):
?
The second section is connect.
So you know, asking them somequestions to get them to connect
the dots.
Have there been times wherereps in practice carried over
into a game in terms ofconfidence?
Can we help them connect intheir head?
Oh yeah, when I do this, itmakes me feel like this.
(20:05):
And then we always have anevaluate section where we want
to ask them OK, now that, nowthat you know why this is
important and we've started toget your brain thinking about
you know, have I been doing this?
Have I seen this in real lifeOn a scale from one to 10?
Let's sort of evaluate where amI at right now and then, if
this is an area that I'm lackingand this is an area where you
(20:30):
know what I get a lot of bangfor my buck doing some
improvement here then let's takeaction.
So you know whether you want touse the activity that's on the
worksheet or you want to usesome of the tools that are in
the book.
Some of them are a little morecomplex.
Some of them are a little bitsimpler and shorter.
At the end of the day, we needour athletes to know that if
(20:53):
they cut corners duringpreparation, they are cutting
their confidence.
So if they need to improve inthis area, we've got a tracker
that you can use on thatworkbook.
They can do this in their ownjournal.
You can come up with your ownworksheet.
Just like we say at the end ofliterally every podcast episode
make a plan and put it to work.
Having the knowledge, havingthe information, is a great
(21:15):
first step, but now we got to dosomething about it.
There are also some coachingcorner questions in the book.
There are some coaching cornerquestions on the worksheet.
If I was doing this in a teamsetting, I would absolutely want
the individuals to have aconversation about.
You know, am I confident?
(21:35):
Am I destroying my confidenceby cutting corners?
Am I putting in the reps andputting in the work that it
takes?
I would want to know who arethe athletes on my team or in my
program that feel like they'redoing a really great job, so
that I could have conversationswith them and recruit them and
say hey, you're doing awesome inthis area?
(21:58):
How can we help bring some ofyour teammates along?
Where are some of the times orwhere are some of the areas that
we're maybe cutting somecorners or we're not putting in
the reps, or what are the thingsyou know when people are
talking in the locker room?
What are the things peopledon't really believe in yet or
they're not confident in yet?
These questions are helped.
(22:19):
These questions are designed tohelp you have some cultural
change conversations.
These questions are built foryou to get a pulse on the
heartbeat of your team, onwhat's actually going on.
Figure out who are my athletesthat are scoring really high in
this area.
(22:39):
Who are my athletes that arescoring really low in this area?
Is it?
There's just a few stragglers?
Okay, well, let's get themcaught up.
Is it?
More of you know?
Our entire team is feeling thisway.
Maybe we thought we werepreparing as coaches.
Maybe we're doing what we thinkis enough, but we're not doing
(22:59):
what the players think is enough.
These questions are designed tohelp you have those
conversations, and that kind ofwraps up chapter three, or the
first brick, reps.
The second brick is evidence,and I just I want to go back to
this story that I that I startthe chapter off with.
(23:20):
I mean chapter off with.
I mean, the names haveobviously been changed.
This was an actual golfer whowas convinced in his mind that
he was not good at somethingthat in reality he was really
good at, and I don't think thatit would be too much of a
stretch to assume that there areplenty of athletes out there,
(23:44):
and or plenty of athletes maybeon teams of some of the coaches
that are listening, who are inthat same spot, who all they
remember, because of thenegativity bias that they've got
going on in their head, are thetimes that they've screwed up.
All they think about and youknow, they beat themselves up
(24:06):
over.
Am I holding myself to thisexpectation of perfection?
And so, just like it talks abouton page 46, I think, as coaches
and as individuals, it'simportant to gather some of this
information.
You know the wins, momentswhere we were successful
(24:28):
score-wise, we were victorious,especially highlighting ones
where we had to overcome somesort of adversity to make that
happen.
Survival times where you knowwe didn't win but we held it
together.
We battled, we fought, weshowed some mental toughness, we
(24:49):
showed grit, we showed resolve,we showed some of this family
togetherness, we lifted eachother up, we finished.
Another one would be struggle,maybe the painful games that
taught you something, where weadjusted, we grew, we changed
because of those.
Feedback is another type ofevidence that we can gather.
(25:12):
You know somebody that youtrust notices some growth and
says so.
I think we can have a tendencyso many times to downplay that
and we've got to be careful thatwe celebrate these wins along
the way, because if we don'tever celebrate these wins along
the way, the polar frontalcortex and the front part of
(25:32):
your brain that's responsiblefor long-term, meaningful change
is going to say I don't know ifthis is worth it because it's
really hard and it's reallyuncomfortable.
But if we can have some ofthese wins and maybe we can get
some feedback along the way froma trusted outside source who's
saying, yes, you're doing theright things, you're growing the
(25:52):
right way, you're improving inthe right areas, that can be so
powerful.
That can be just what thatfront part of your brain needs
to say yeah, maybe this is goingto be worth it, maybe we can
actually do this.
Let's keep going.
And patterns is the last onethat we talk about there.
You know, just consistenthabits that show you're becoming
(26:12):
who you want to be, even if themaybe the winds aren't there
yet, maybe the results aren'tflashy yet.
Like what are the patterns thatwe're seeing, that are changing
, and how do we point those outto our girls?
How do we point those out toour guys?
On page 48, we start gettinginto some of the science.
I love that.
I love that attribution theory.
(26:34):
Confident people tend to explainsuccess in terms of things they
can control, like effort,preparation and strategy.
Unconfident people oftenattribute success or failure to
things that are outside theircontrol, like luck, natural
talent, how good the opponent is, weather refs, calls, all of
(26:54):
that kind of stuff.
I think, as coaches, we need tobe aware of that.
We need to be aware of the factthat our athletes are going to
have a negativity bias.
There are a lot of times where,as coaches, we think we just
need to, you know, during atimeout, we need to hammer hey,
I can't believe you did this.
What was wrong?
Why were you?
(27:15):
And we bring up some of thesepast things that have happened
just a little bit ago because wefeel like it's our job to teach
and to correct and to coach,but there's times where we've
got to know our players.
We've got to know who are theathletes, that they already know
what they did wrong and they'realready beating themselves up
(27:35):
and they already feel likethey're not good enough.
I think, just like you know, inthe next book that's going to be
all about focus.
That'll hopefully be coming outsooner rather than later.
You know, one of the things,one of the things that we talk
about is, like, what mattersright now Are there?
Are there things that, yeah, weneed to fix and we need to
(27:55):
correct?
But could we do it after thegame?
Could we not do it right in themiddle of this time out, like,
could we not beat our guys down?
Could we, you know?
Going back to the, the selfaffirmation theory, could we
help our guys instead of justbeating them over the head with
mistakes?
Could we point out like valuesor strength or personal growth
(28:18):
or the the things that we cancontrol?
We've got to remember that ourwords are powerful.
We've got to be intentionalabout building our guys up, not
to just accept mistakes andgloss over them, but about being
intentional on how and when wecorrect them.
There were two tools in thebook the confidence resume We've
(28:41):
talked about before on pastpodcasts about having a success
board.
It's kind of a similar ideawhere we're trying to document
some things in the past, we'retrying to show some patterns,
we're trying to gather some ofthat evidence.
We're trying to prove to ourbrain that we know is going to
intentionally be biased towardnegativity.
(29:04):
And we're going to gather someof that evidence, we're going to
get it in front of ourselves.
We're going to get it in frontof our team.
Don't just hope that they'regoing to somehow magically do
that on their own.
I like the post-game reframegrid.
That's on page 51.
You know just what went well.
What did I learn?
What did I prove to myself?
What's one thing that I'llcarry forward.
You can obviously modify thatto to your age, your level, your
(29:28):
sport, but I think there'spower in Jake Gilbert talked
about all the time.
Sometimes you win, sometimesyou learn, and when we don't win
, it's okay if we learn fromthat, like I.
Like I will die on the hill ofin 2016,.
If we don't lose those twogames pretty early on in the
(29:51):
year, I don't think we win astate championship Because those
two losses showed us we weren'tquite preparing hard enough.
Maybe we weren't quite hydratedenough.
We didn't have quite enoughsleep.
We didn't have quite enoughsleep.
We didn't study quite enoughfilm.
We didn't maybe have quiteenough physicality during
(30:11):
practice.
At that point I think we playedat our best, but our best
wasn't good enough.
So we had to improve, we had toget better, and we did so,
helping our girls and helpingour guys realize this loss was
not failure.
This was just a reflection ofwhere we're at right now, so
that we know, moving forward,where we're trying to get to and
(30:35):
what needs to improve.
So on the worksheet, you know,there's the learn section.
Somehow we've got to get themto realize, hey, we've got to
gather some evidence here.
We can't just downplay everytime we do something.
Well, we know there's going tobe this negativity bias.
How can we show like, yes,we're earning this, yes, we're
(30:57):
doing this the right way, yes,we're moving in the right
direction, yes, we can beconfident that we're on the
right track.
Just keep going.
Somehow help them connect thatwith have they seen that on the
field?
Do they feel like that'slacking in their game, in their
mind?
Have them evaluate themselvesand then take some action.
(31:19):
I love this coaching corner atthe bottom of the worksheet.
I love what are three thingswe've done as a team that prove
we're growing.
And what I love even, maybeeven more, is the conversation
that's happening as we're tryingto narrow down and we're you
know we're.
I'm standing up there at thewhiteboard and I'm saying I want
(31:40):
the top three things that showwe're growing and just write
down every single idea off tothe side, all around on this
whiteboard.
And now, man, we've got thiscollection of all this stuff
that we're doing.
That's earning the right to beconfident, that's building our
confidence.
That's showing us, yes, we'reheaded in the right direction as
(32:03):
a program.
Here's why our culture isdifferent than it was.
Here's the expectation, here'swhere we're headed.
And then you know, weeventually hopefully narrow it
down to three things.
But, man, that thatbrainstorming leading up to that
is just as powerful.
So, brick one we got to do thereps.
(32:23):
Brick two we've also got togather some proof along the way,
some evidence along the way,that, yeah, we're doing this the
right way and we're earning theright to be confident.
Which brings us to our lastbrick in this section, the
preparation brick.
And the core concept on page 57, just flat out lays it right
(32:46):
out there.
Confidence loves predictability.
I think some of this science ispretty powerful.
I think there are so many kidsout there that have, you know, a
free throw routine because theyheard sometime on some TikTok
video that you should do it.
And they watch an NBA game andthey see guys doing it every
(33:06):
single time, but they don'tunderstand the science behind.
Hey, there's a way that you canget your mind and your body and
your emotions in the best placeto be successful and I think
showing them some of the scienceof routines is powerful.
(33:27):
You know it goes into a littlebit about routines being able to
do things automatically.
You know muscle memory,anchoring through repetition,
psychological readiness, gettinginto that flow state or getting
in the zone.
We want our girls and we wantour guys to be at their best
(33:49):
when competition starts, reallywhen practice starts.
So how are they gettingphysically prepared for practice
?
What are they focusing on?
How are they controlling theirself-talk, how are they
controlling their physicalenergy levels?
You know, at the time of thisrecording it was college
football, opening weekend waslast week and Urban Meyer was at
(34:13):
Ohio State, number threeplaying number one Texas, one of
the, if not the biggest, seasonopeners, and you know he was
talking about, in the lockerroom there is no pregame speech.
The pregame speech before thatmoment, before that crowd, with
the anticipation leading up tothat moment, and that
(34:35):
environment was just let's dothis together.
Relax, do your job, let's goexecute.
You're ready for this, this?
But on the other hand, thereare times where we've got
athletes that are showing up toour practice who just got in a
fight with their boyfriend orgirlfriend.
There's times where we've gotathletes coming to practice and
(34:57):
they're exhausted and they'reworn out and their brain hurts.
We've got athletes that areshowing up that are dealing with
all kinds of junk at home, orthey're dealing with a diagnosis
or a death or an illness, oryou fill in the blank with the
adversity that your team'sdealing with.
How do we get them to, on aregular basis, set aside all
(35:24):
those big, heavy burdens of theworld and be able to, just for a
couple hours, go out and focusall of their effort and all of
their energy and all of theiryou know, mental and all of
their focus just onto this taskat hand, and of their focus just
(35:48):
onto this task at hand?
And routines can play a bigrole in that.
I think one of the things thatI that I left out early on in my
career on page 65 was the postcompetition routine.
I think I think we did a prettygood job of getting guys ready
to practice and they saw thevalue in that and being able to
improve at a faster level thanour competition, and I think we
(36:08):
did a good job with getting guysready to perform.
But I think that we wasted someopportunities for growth when
we didn't have any kind of aroutine afterwards to help them
rest, to help them rest, to helpthem recover, to help them
evaluate what went well, whatdidn't go well, being
(36:31):
intentional about the wholeidentity piece, separating who
you are from what you do,helping them not tie up all of
their self-worth into theirperformance and man, that's hard
but it's so powerful.
Along with teaching them theseroutines, in my mind we have to
(36:54):
teach them the differencebetween superstition and routine
.
If you don't wear the samesocks or enter the field a
certain way, bad things happen.
And you know, is there somecomfort in you know when you do
(37:15):
everything the right way?
Sure, maybe a little bit, butthe second that things get out
of order, the second you have aweather, delay, a bus breaks
down, something goes wrong,somebody gets injured, a coach
has to leave or the second.
Things change.
Now you're in big trouble.
(37:36):
Now.
Anxiety is skyrocketing and Iwould argue in that moment it's
worse than if you would havejust not had a routine in the
first place.
But instead, instead ofsuperstition, if we can help
them see, look, routine is builton preparation and trust.
It's not about magical thinking, it's about stability, about
(38:01):
predictability, about familiaractions that signal to your
brain and body it's time to lockin, it's time to go.
And I think, helping them thinkthrough.
You know, it looks verydifferent if you're traveling
the night before and you'regoing to have an overnight and a
(38:22):
hotel stay.
It looks very different.
If you've got a three-hour busride, it looks very different if
you've got a 10 hour bus ride.
It looks very different ifyou've got a 10 minute bus ride
where you're going to hop offthe bus and be ready to go.
It looks very different ifyou've got a home game and there
is no bus ride.
But I think being intentionalabout you know, maybe you start
(38:45):
at kickoff or you start at thatfirst whistle or that first
first shot on that first tee box.
How do I get my mind and bodyready 10 minutes before that, 20
minutes before that, an hourbefore that, four hours before
that, the day before that?
How do I make sure I get sleepthe night before?
(39:07):
And then realizing that whenthings change, it's not like
we're held captive by ourroutine.
No, I would say, our teams andour athletes have to believe
that this is a tool for them, tohelp them, and so, no matter
what is thrown our way, we'regoing to be ready.
(39:30):
We're going to be prepared,we're going to know.
Yes, we have what it takes.
We know what the next step is.
We know how to get, how to movefrom I'm relaxed to I'm
starting to get engaged to I'mlocked in and I'm ready to go.
So, again, you know, on theworksheet, it's got the learn
you got to figure out.
(39:50):
How do I get this messageacross?
How do I teach my level, mysport, my, my program?
I think this is a reallypowerful one too that, if you've
ever done this before, havesome former athlete come back
and talk about it?
Have you know one of the teamcaptains stand up and say this
is just how I've done it?
Find a YouTube clip from someprofessional athlete in your
(40:14):
sport.
That's talking about why theydo it Somehow.
Get your kids to buy in that,yes, this is important.
And then help them connect.
Help them connect the dots intheir head hey, have I done this
?
Do I do this?
How do I feel beforecompetition?
What do I do when things change?
Get their mind thinking aboutthose things and connecting
(40:36):
those dots, and then have themevaluate themselves, have them
give themselves a score.
So we've got something that's alittle bit more objective.
Now.
Who are the people scoringreally high that can maybe bring
others along with them?
Who are the people that arescoring really low that need a
lot of help in this area?
Maybe you've been hammered onthis all last offseason and so
(41:00):
you're good to go.
For the majority of the peopleon your squad, they're set in
this area.
Or maybe you've never talkedabout this before and as an
entire program, you need toaddress this.
You need to teach this,integrate this.
I love the coaching cornerquestions on here, where you
know it's talking about what arethe routines that we already
(41:22):
have?
Because, just like individualshave routines, teams have
routines also, and so you know,especially before the first game
, especially, you know, before atournament game or before
postseason play starts, how isthe routine going to be a little
bit different?
(41:42):
I'll be honest, in 2013,.
That completely caught us offguard.
We had no idea how short ourpregame warmup was going to be,
and so it wrecked the confidenceof some of our players, and
they even talk about it to thisday.
So that's something that, in mymind, is absolutely worth
(42:05):
having a conversation on theteam level, not just the
individual level.
That wraps up part two.
Next time, we'll be hoppinginto part three, chosen
confidence.
If you have questions, ifyou've got feedback, I would
love to hear from you guys.
Do you like this format?
Is this format helpful?
Should we spend more time?
(42:26):
Should we spend less time?
What are you looking for?
How can I deliver value to you?
How can I help you get yourteam prepared?
How can I help you believe thatyou have what it takes to go
out and to succeed?
That's been my entiremotivation, from writing this
book, to putting this workbooktogether, to recording these
(42:50):
episodes.
There were times as a player inmy own life where I wasn't
confident and I didn't alwaysknow how to fix it.
There were times, especiallyearly in my coaching career,
when I felt like my athletesshould be confident, but for
some reason they weren't, and Ididn't know what to do about it.
(43:11):
And so this book, and reallythis entire series, is just me
continuing this mission ofhelping no one to have to go
through that terrible feeling ofoh my goodness, what do I do
next?
And having no idea how to fixthese problems, how to address
(43:31):
some of these things that wehave to deal with.
If you enjoyed this, if youfound it helpful, would love for
you to share, leave a comment.
Right now, the book doesn'thave any reviews on Amazon.
If you find this book helpfuland you'd be willing to go in
and write a review and justexplain so that other people and
so that the algorithm can seewhat did this help you do?
(43:53):
How did this help you improve,would be super appreciative if
you'd be willing to do that,just so that other people can
find these resources alsoAppreciate you guys being here.
Until next time, make your planand put it to work.
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the
official podcast of MentalTraining Plan.
So excited to be back with youguys, continuing our series on
confidence, going through mynewest book, confidence Tools to
Build Belief for Athletes,coaches and Parents.
If you have not listened to thefirst episode, would encourage
(00:21):
you to pause this and just goback real quick, give it a
listen so that you've got someof the background information.
Today we are hopping straightinto part two.
It's all about earnedconfidence, confidence that's
built through reps, preparationand proof.
I had somebody ask me why didyou write this book?
(00:43):
And, to be honest, we're now inthe thousands plural of
athletes that we've worked withacross 100 plus different
schools in 14 different states.
That's just me.
That's not including some ofthe certified coaches and some
of the coaches that we work withthat then go and train.
They're athletes and I've heardI can't tell you how many times
(01:08):
I'm not confident or my son ormy daughter are just not
confident.
When this happens duringcompetition and on the coaching
side of things, you know my jobis to try and figure out.
Well, why not?
(01:28):
Because there are a wide, widerange of reasons for someone to
not be confident and all toooften we just say, oh, you just
got to believe or you got to beconfident in yourself, but we
don't actually know how to teachthat, how to coach that.
I'll be honest, I didn't.
(01:50):
When I started doing this adecade plus ago, and I was
working with a quarterback who Ifelt like should be confident,
I was confident in theirpreparation.
I believed that they had thetools they needed to succeed.
I believed that they had put inthe time and put in the work,
but for some reason they werenot, and so it didn't matter
(02:13):
what my level of confidence was.
It mattered did they believethat they have what it takes to
succeed?
I would say, just going backthrough every athlete that I
have ever worked with, this bookincludes the tools that I would
need to be able to work withthat athlete and help them build
their confidence the right wayor repair the holes in their
(02:37):
confidence that are eithermissing or were damaged or just
weren't put there to begin with.
I absolutely believe that thereis a place for therapy on the
mental health side of things.
I love my therapist.
She's awesome at what she does,and I also think that there's a
time and a place for mentalperformance coaching, because
(03:02):
there was some deep work that Ineeded to do with my therapist
and be able to, you know, workthrough some emotions and
process some things that hadhappened in the past.
But then there were also sometimes where it was like, okay,
but now I need to like, go getto work.
And now I I want some actionsteps so that I can start seeing
(03:24):
results.
And there've been plenty ofathletes who I'm working with
and it's like I've got thistournament coming up and we need
to get rolling, like, let's getto work.
We need a plan so that I can beconfident in this moment.
And so one of my, one of myformer coaches, jake Gilbert,
called it our Friday nightproduct, and the concept was
(03:45):
simple.
It was on Friday night,everyone in the community is
going to come out and they'regoing to see this product that
we put on the field and in thatmoment we're going to be
evaluated as coaches, asathletes.
Do we have what it takes?
Were we quote, quote, unquotesuccessful?
(04:08):
That's going to.
That's going to look differenttimes.
That doesn't always mean winner, loss, but at the end of the
day, there's going to be a game,there's going to be a product
put out there on the field andeveryone's going to see who is
more prepared, who is moretalented, et cetera.
And so what?
What I'm trying to do with thisbook is help you with your
(04:30):
Friday night product, whetherthat's in the business side of
things, and you need to beconfident going into close a
sale, going into to lead a groupof people that you're in charge
of.
Whether that's in the arena ofperformance I've got
professional singers that I'veworked with, actors and
actresses, musicians whetherthat's you're an athlete
(04:51):
yourself and you are trying tobuild your confidence.
You want to go out therebelieving and knowing that you
have what it takes to besuccessful.
You're a coach who's trying tobuild confidence in the men and
women or the boys and girls thatyou are coaching, or it's a
parent, which, I've got to say,I'm starting to realize that's
(05:14):
maybe one of the toughest roles,because there's so many times,
even with my own kids, that Iknow what they need and I know
how to fix it.
They don't always necessarilywant to hear it from me.
Sometimes it needs to come fromsomewhere else.
Sometimes it's more impactfulwhen someone else says it, just
(05:37):
because there are times thatthey get tired of hearing the
same things over and over fromme.
I think watching my son orwatching one of my daughters
struggle is way more challengingand way more difficult than
anything that I've ever had togo through.
So, no matter who you are, nomatter why you picked up this
book, no matter why you'relistening to this podcast, my
(06:00):
hope is that I can give youadditional value, which kind of
brings me to the whole purposeof this podcast series.
I'm making the assumption thatyou have the book.
This is not an audio book.
I'm not going to just read thisthing to you.
Everybody would be bored out oftheir mind because hopefully
you've all have a copy of thisand have at least started
(06:21):
reading through it.
I'm also making the assumptionthat you have the workbook.
For those of you that arewatching the video version of
this podcast, I mean, here'smine.
I literally printed out each oneof the worksheets.
I three-hole punched them andthey're in a binder.
If you have not downloaded that, the link to do so is in the
(06:46):
book.
I would encourage you to getthose because, again, they're
not the exact same thing.
The idea in the book is it goesa little bit deeper.
The idea on the worksheets is.
It goes a little bit quickerand we'll talk about, you know,
in some ways, how do weintegrate this, how do we use
(07:06):
this?
You can almost think of this,these podcast episodes, as, like
a I don't know.
My wife's in a book club andthey sit around and sometimes
they talk about the book.
Other times I feel like it'sjust social.
But that's a.
That's a side topic In my mind.
If you were to buy this book,you were to read this book and
(07:26):
then you and I sat down and hada conversation about it.
My hope is that this podcastsort of reflects that.
It's got some additionalcontent.
It's got some ways that you canimplement this.
It's got some stories about thewhy behind this or how I've
seen this, how I've used thiswith different athletes.
(07:47):
Format wise, we're going to gothrough kind of the main idea of
each chapter, or what we calleach brick, and we'll give you a
little bit of the science.
We're trying to abide by theGoldilocks principle here.
If we have no science, you knowit's that that chair is too
small and Goldilocks principlehere.
If we have no science, you knowit's, it's that that chair is
too small and Goldilocks didn'twant to sit in it.
(08:09):
But on the other side we alsothat chair can't be too big or
that porridge can't be too hot,like we don't want this to turn
into a neuroscience textbook.
And if you're one of thosefolks like me who kind of nerds
out on that stuff and you dowant to read more, all of those
resources are in the back of thebook, so have at it.
(08:30):
You can keep digging to yourheart's content.
But what I'm trying to do issay here's just the right amount
and that's not going to beperfect for everyone.
Certainly I'm just going off ofkind of the average of all the
athletes and all the coaches andall the parents that I've
(08:51):
talked with and worked with.
I think when we don't presentany of the science, it comes
across as fake or made up.
That's where we get theresistance to.
Well, I don't want to bepositive.
How could I be positive?
There's nothing to be positiveabout in this situation.
I just fill in the blank withsomething that you screwed up
(09:12):
during competition.
You know, I just threw aninterception, I just got a bogey
, I just lost my race.
There's nothing to be positiveabout.
And so just telling everyonehey.
And so just telling everyone,hey, be positive feels fake.
(09:41):
But when we can say, look, ifyou allow yourself to spiral
into this negativity, here'ssome of the research about what
that does to your muscle memory.
Here's what that does tocortisol levels.
Here's why you're no longermaking as good of decisions.
So, instead of being happy withbeing mediocre or just
accepting failure, instead we'regoing to direct our focus and
our attention somewhere else.
We're going to intentionallychoose not to spiral into
negativity so that we cancontinue performing at a high
(10:04):
level.
Here's the science behind whyit's important, a little bit of
the science behind how we do it.
But, more importantly, here'sthe action steps that you can
take during competition the nexttime.
Now we've got our athletes, nowthey're hooked.
Now it's like, oh okay, well,maybe that is actually legit.
Maybe I should give this a try.
(10:24):
Okay, well, maybe that isactually legit, maybe I should
give this a try.
So that's going to be.
That's going to be kind of theformat moving forward.
That's my goal is to giveadditional value and add on to
the book and add on to theworksheets.
So, without further ado, parttwo.
So part two is is basicallythis concept that confidence is
(10:44):
built through reps andpreparation and proof.
There's going to be threebricks or three chapters where
we basically talk through how dowe build confidence?
Well, to start off, we've gotto take some action and starting
on page 28, it's chapter three,the rep brick.
(11:06):
This is kind of the idea thatit doesn't matter how positive
your self-talk is, it doesn'tmatter what breathing techniques
you use, it doesn't matter allthe rest of the stuff that we
get to later.
None of that matters if youdon't do the work.
And I'll be honest, there havebeen plenty of athletes who I
(11:29):
just kind of assume, because ofthe school that they're at or
the program that they'reparticipating in, that they are
preparing the right way andthey're putting in reps.
And you know, there've been,there've been times where I
didn't check this early enoughand I just kind of made some
assumptions and it came back tobite me in the butt and, to be
(11:49):
honest, had we started here, hadwe evaluated this a little bit
better, the the improvement inthose athletes that I was
working with, that theimprovement in their confidence,
would have been expedited quitea bit.
But I I've skipped that brickbefore.
It's kind of the idea that ifyou're a basketball player, that
(12:13):
brick before.
It's kind of the idea that ifyou're a basketball player and
you want to be better atshooting a three-pointer, you're
going to have to practice thatIf you want to be confident at
the end of a game that you cancatch that pass, step back and
drain that three, it needs to besomething that you've done over
and over and over and even thenit's not going to be a
(12:35):
guarantee that it's going tohappen.
But you know, hey, I'veintentionally put in the work,
I've done what's required of meto be good enough to do this.
And sometimes we come up short.
Sometimes we think we're doingenough work, we think we're
practicing hard enough, we thinkwe're putting in the work in
(12:57):
the weight room and the work inthe film room and the work you
know all of those things.
But that Friday night productreveals to us, or that
competition moment reveals to ushey, you know it's not good
enough.
I heard Alex Hermosi quote uh,on one of his podcast episodes
(13:18):
that I absolutely loved and itwas I'm not going to do my best,
I'm going to do what's required.
And you know just kind of thisidea that it doesn't matter, it
doesn't matter how good I am,it's going to take whatever it
takes to accomplish a certainlevel, to reach a certain level,
(13:40):
accomplish a certain dream,things like that.
And so if my best isn't goodenough, sometimes I've got to go
back to work, I've got to putin the time, I've got to put in
the reps to be able to improvein that area.
Just a little bit of the science.
Remember?
We talked about deliberatepractice.
I think that's a reallypowerful one that if I was a
(14:04):
coach who was responsible for aprogram, I would want to figure
out.
What is deliberate practice?
How are we doing that and howcan I bring attention to that so
(14:37):
that my athletes also see howdeliberate we're being about
practice, how we're evaluatinghow practice went, not confusing
activity with productivity.
We are being intentional, everysingle rep, every single day.
In this chapter we talked aboutself-efficacy, or basically Dr
Bandura's work on this conceptof how people build belief in
their ability to succeed.
I think it's important ascoaches that we show the
athletes what this progressionlooks like.
(14:58):
If I was an individual athletewho was listening to this and
you know, maybe you don't have agreat coaching staff, maybe
they're not preparing you aswell as they should be, okay,
well, that's unfortunate.
What are you going to do aboutit?
How are you know, what are,what are the skills that you
(15:19):
need to develop from the bottomup, and how are you going to
practice those skills?
Is that going to be, you know,getting extra lessons?
Is that going to be extra work?
Can you just go have aconversation with your coach and
say, hey, I think I need toimprove in these areas.
How can I do that?
You know?
Can we stick around afterpractice?
(15:41):
Can we come in before practice?
Are there things that I can doon my own?
Because, you know, ultimatelywe talked about, you know?
The next one was neuroplasticity.
We talked about this idea andthis concept that our brains can
grow, our ability to beconfident can change.
(16:02):
We can rewire our, we canrewire neural pathways so that
there is more confidence, thegrowth mindset.
All of these things sort ofplay into.
There is a process to buildconfidence, and I think it's
important that we start thereand that we're making sure that
(16:24):
we're not cutting any corners inour preparation.
One of the things that JoshMiracle talks about all the time
is, when you cut corners, youcut confidence, and so I think
we need to be intentional,either as individuals or as
coaches, to point out the factthat, look, if you're not doing
(16:45):
everything that you can everysingle time you step onto that
practice field, then ultimatelyyou're cutting your confidence.
And so in the book, you know, wetalked about some different
tools like the rep tracker.
You know an individual athletecould certainly use something
like that.
I've done that before withathletes who don't feel like
(17:07):
they're prepared enough.
Uh, the, the confidence journalis is something that's similar.
Some athletes like journaling alittle bit more, others don't.
Uh, we actually have a wholepodcast episode called does
journaling actually do anything?
Uh, yes, is spoiler alert, isthe answer.
(17:29):
Um, you know, but but if Ican't get an athlete to journal,
maybe I can get them to justwrite down what were three wins
from.
Today was one of the othertools.
Somehow, if I'm working with anathlete and they don't feel
confident because they're notputting in enough reps quantity
(17:50):
wise, good enough reps, qualitywise you know they're not.
They're not doing it over along enough period of time to
where they burn it into theirmuscle memory.
I think the the big takeawayhere is not only do they need to
put in the work, but somehow weneed to document that.
Somehow we need to documentthat.
Somehow we need to point thatout, somehow they need to see
(18:13):
that building so that they canpiece together in their mind.
Oh, I have earned the right tobe confident.
Which kind of?
Next brings us to the worksheet.
If you downloaded the workbook,brick number one reps we've got
some different sections on eachone of these worksheets.
So the first one is learn.
(18:33):
We need athletes to knowconfidence doesn't come from
hype.
We need them to know it comesfrom work and that each rep you
put in really becomes a brick inthis wall that we're building.
And so if they don't havemeaningful reps, we want to help
them recognize that and we wantto help them do something about
(18:57):
it.
So you know, I'll be honest,just handing this worksheet to
an athlete, there will be sometimes where you know they maybe
have enough personal awarenessto be able to analyze themselves
with a younger group ofathletes.
You know, instead of justreading these two sentences and
(19:20):
thinking that, that's going tohelp them realize how important
confidence is, you know, maybeyou need to tell a story, maybe
you need to talk about your ownexperience.
So the learn section, I thinkyou need to look at that you
need to be aware of.
You know where are my athletesat?
Do they know this?
Do they believe this?
Do they think this is just madeup a bunch of hokey, fake stuff
(19:43):
?
The second section is connect.
So you know, asking them somequestions to get them to connect
the dots.
Have there been times wherereps in practice carried over
into a game in terms ofconfidence?
Can we help them connect intheir head?
Oh yeah, when I do this, itmakes me feel like this.
(20:05):
And then we always have anevaluate section where we want
to ask them OK, now that, nowthat you know why this is
important and we've started toget your brain thinking about
you know, have I been doing this?
Have I seen this in real lifeOn a scale from one to 10?
Let's sort of evaluate where amI at right now and then, if
this is an area that I'm lackingand this is an area where you
(20:30):
know what I get a lot of bangfor my buck doing some
improvement here then let's takeaction.
So you know whether you want touse the activity that's on the
worksheet or you want to usesome of the tools that are in
the book.
Some of them are a little morecomplex.
Some of them are a little bitsimpler and shorter.
At the end of the day, we needour athletes to know that if
(20:53):
they cut corners duringpreparation, they are cutting
their confidence.
So if they need to improve inthis area, we've got a tracker
that you can use on thatworkbook.
They can do this in their ownjournal.
You can come up with your ownworksheet.
Just like we say at the end ofliterally every podcast episode
make a plan and put it to work.
Having the knowledge, havingthe information, is a great
(21:15):
first step, but now we got to dosomething about it.
There are also some coachingcorner questions in the book.
There are some coaching cornerquestions on the worksheet.
If I was doing this in a teamsetting, I would absolutely want
the individuals to have aconversation about.
You know, am I confident?
(21:35):
Am I destroying my confidenceby cutting corners?
Am I putting in the reps andputting in the work that it
takes?
I would want to know who arethe athletes on my team or in my
program that feel like they'redoing a really great job, so
that I could have conversationswith them and recruit them and
say hey, you're doing awesome inthis area?
(21:58):
How can we help bring some ofyour teammates along?
Where are some of the times orwhere are some of the areas that
we're maybe cutting somecorners or we're not putting in
the reps, or what are the thingsyou know when people are
talking in the locker room?
What are the things peopledon't really believe in yet or
they're not confident in yet?
These questions are helped.
(22:19):
These questions are designed tohelp you have some cultural
change conversations.
These questions are built foryou to get a pulse on the
heartbeat of your team, onwhat's actually going on.
Figure out who are my athletesthat are scoring really high in
this area.
(22:39):
Who are my athletes that arescoring really low in this area?
Is it?
There's just a few stragglers?
Okay, well, let's get themcaught up.
Is it?
More of you know?
Our entire team is feeling thisway.
Maybe we thought we werepreparing as coaches.
Maybe we're doing what we thinkis enough, but we're not doing
(22:59):
what the players think is enough.
These questions are designed tohelp you have those
conversations, and that kind ofwraps up chapter three, or the
first brick, reps.
The second brick is evidence,and I just I want to go back to
this story that I that I startthe chapter off with.
(23:20):
I mean chapter off with.
I mean, the names haveobviously been changed.
This was an actual golfer whowas convinced in his mind that
he was not good at somethingthat in reality he was really
good at, and I don't think thatit would be too much of a
stretch to assume that there areplenty of athletes out there,
(23:44):
and or plenty of athletes maybeon teams of some of the coaches
that are listening, who are inthat same spot, who all they
remember, because of thenegativity bias that they've got
going on in their head, are thetimes that they've screwed up.
All they think about and youknow, they beat themselves up
(24:06):
over.
Am I holding myself to thisexpectation of perfection?
And so, just like it talks abouton page 46, I think, as coaches
and as individuals, it'simportant to gather some of this
information.
You know the wins, momentswhere we were successful
(24:28):
score-wise, we were victorious,especially highlighting ones
where we had to overcome somesort of adversity to make that
happen.
Survival times where you knowwe didn't win but we held it
together.
We battled, we fought, weshowed some mental toughness, we
(24:49):
showed grit, we showed resolve,we showed some of this family
togetherness, we lifted eachother up, we finished.
Another one would be struggle,maybe the painful games that
taught you something, where weadjusted, we grew, we changed
because of those.
Feedback is another type ofevidence that we can gather.
(25:12):
You know somebody that youtrust notices some growth and
says so.
I think we can have a tendencyso many times to downplay that
and we've got to be careful thatwe celebrate these wins along
the way, because if we don'tever celebrate these wins along
the way, the polar frontalcortex and the front part of
(25:32):
your brain that's responsiblefor long-term, meaningful change
is going to say I don't know ifthis is worth it because it's
really hard and it's reallyuncomfortable.
But if we can have some ofthese wins and maybe we can get
some feedback along the way froma trusted outside source who's
saying, yes, you're doing theright things, you're growing the
(25:52):
right way, you're improving inthe right areas, that can be so
powerful.
That can be just what thatfront part of your brain needs
to say yeah, maybe this is goingto be worth it, maybe we can
actually do this.
Let's keep going.
And patterns is the last onethat we talk about there.
You know, just consistenthabits that show you're becoming
(26:12):
who you want to be, even if themaybe the winds aren't there
yet, maybe the results aren'tflashy yet.
Like what are the patterns thatwe're seeing, that are changing
, and how do we point those outto our girls?
How do we point those out toour guys?
On page 48, we start gettinginto some of the science.
I love that.
I love that attribution theory.
(26:34):
Confident people tend to explainsuccess in terms of things they
can control, like effort,preparation and strategy.
Unconfident people oftenattribute success or failure to
things that are outside theircontrol, like luck, natural
talent, how good the opponent is, weather refs, calls, all of
(26:54):
that kind of stuff.
I think, as coaches, we need tobe aware of that.
We need to be aware of the factthat our athletes are going to
have a negativity bias.
There are a lot of times where,as coaches, we think we just
need to, you know, during atimeout, we need to hammer hey,
I can't believe you did this.
What was wrong?
Why were you?
(27:15):
And we bring up some of thesepast things that have happened
just a little bit ago because wefeel like it's our job to teach
and to correct and to coach,but there's times where we've
got to know our players.
We've got to know who are theathletes, that they already know
what they did wrong and they'realready beating themselves up
(27:35):
and they already feel likethey're not good enough.
I think, just like you know, inthe next book that's going to be
all about focus.
That'll hopefully be coming outsooner rather than later.
You know, one of the things,one of the things that we talk
about is, like, what mattersright now Are there?
Are there things that, yeah, weneed to fix and we need to
(27:55):
correct?
But could we do it after thegame?
Could we not do it right in themiddle of this time out, like,
could we not beat our guys down?
Could we, you know?
Going back to the, the selfaffirmation theory, could we
help our guys instead of justbeating them over the head with
mistakes?
Could we point out like valuesor strength or personal growth
(28:18):
or the the things that we cancontrol?
We've got to remember that ourwords are powerful.
We've got to be intentionalabout building our guys up, not
to just accept mistakes andgloss over them, but about being
intentional on how and when wecorrect them.
There were two tools in thebook the confidence resume We've
(28:41):
talked about before on pastpodcasts about having a success
board.
It's kind of a similar ideawhere we're trying to document
some things in the past, we'retrying to show some patterns,
we're trying to gather some ofthat evidence.
We're trying to prove to ourbrain that we know is going to
intentionally be biased towardnegativity.
(29:04):
And we're going to gather someof that evidence, we're going to
get it in front of ourselves.
We're going to get it in frontof our team.
Don't just hope that they'regoing to somehow magically do
that on their own.
I like the post-game reframegrid.
That's on page 51.
You know just what went well.
What did I learn?
What did I prove to myself?
What's one thing that I'llcarry forward.
You can obviously modify thatto to your age, your level, your
(29:28):
sport, but I think there'spower in Jake Gilbert talked
about all the time.
Sometimes you win, sometimesyou learn, and when we don't win
, it's okay if we learn fromthat, like I.
Like I will die on the hill ofin 2016,.
If we don't lose those twogames pretty early on in the
(29:51):
year, I don't think we win astate championship Because those
two losses showed us we weren'tquite preparing hard enough.
Maybe we weren't quite hydratedenough.
We didn't have quite enoughsleep.
We didn't have quite enoughsleep.
We didn't study quite enoughfilm.
We didn't maybe have quiteenough physicality during
(30:11):
practice.
At that point I think we playedat our best, but our best
wasn't good enough.
So we had to improve, we had toget better, and we did so,
helping our girls and helpingour guys realize this loss was
not failure.
This was just a reflection ofwhere we're at right now, so
that we know, moving forward,where we're trying to get to and
(30:35):
what needs to improve.
So on the worksheet, you know,there's the learn section.
Somehow we've got to get themto realize, hey, we've got to
gather some evidence here.
We can't just downplay everytime we do something.
Well, we know there's going tobe this negativity bias.
How can we show like, yes,we're earning this, yes, we're
(30:57):
doing this the right way, yes,we're moving in the right
direction, yes, we can beconfident that we're on the
right track.
Just keep going.
Somehow help them connect thatwith have they seen that on the
field?
Do they feel like that'slacking in their game, in their
mind?
Have them evaluate themselvesand then take some action.
(31:19):
I love this coaching corner atthe bottom of the worksheet.
I love what are three thingswe've done as a team that prove
we're growing.
And what I love even, maybeeven more, is the conversation
that's happening as we're tryingto narrow down and we're you
know we're.
I'm standing up there at thewhiteboard and I'm saying I want
(31:40):
the top three things that showwe're growing and just write
down every single idea off tothe side, all around on this
whiteboard.
And now, man, we've got thiscollection of all this stuff
that we're doing.
That's earning the right to beconfident, that's building our
confidence.
That's showing us, yes, we'reheaded in the right direction as
(32:03):
a program.
Here's why our culture isdifferent than it was.
Here's the expectation, here'swhere we're headed.
And then you know, weeventually hopefully narrow it
down to three things.
But, man, that thatbrainstorming leading up to that
is just as powerful.
So, brick one we got to do thereps.
(32:23):
Brick two we've also got togather some proof along the way,
some evidence along the way,that, yeah, we're doing this the
right way and we're earning theright to be confident.
Which brings us to our lastbrick in this section, the
preparation brick.
And the core concept on page 57, just flat out lays it right
(32:46):
out there.
Confidence loves predictability.
I think some of this science ispretty powerful.
I think there are so many kidsout there that have, you know, a
free throw routine because theyheard sometime on some TikTok
video that you should do it.
And they watch an NBA game andthey see guys doing it every
(33:06):
single time, but they don'tunderstand the science behind.
Hey, there's a way that you canget your mind and your body and
your emotions in the best placeto be successful and I think
showing them some of the scienceof routines is powerful.
(33:27):
You know it goes into a littlebit about routines being able to
do things automatically.
You know muscle memory,anchoring through repetition,
psychological readiness, gettinginto that flow state or getting
in the zone.
We want our girls and we wantour guys to be at their best
(33:49):
when competition starts, reallywhen practice starts.
So how are they gettingphysically prepared for practice
?
What are they focusing on?
How are they controlling theirself-talk, how are they
controlling their physicalenergy levels?
You know, at the time of thisrecording it was college
football, opening weekend waslast week and Urban Meyer was at
(34:13):
Ohio State, number threeplaying number one Texas, one of
the, if not the biggest, seasonopeners, and you know he was
talking about, in the lockerroom there is no pregame speech.
The pregame speech before thatmoment, before that crowd, with
the anticipation leading up tothat moment, and that
(34:35):
environment was just let's dothis together.
Relax, do your job, let's goexecute.
You're ready for this, this?
But on the other hand, thereare times where we've got
athletes that are showing up toour practice who just got in a
fight with their boyfriend orgirlfriend.
There's times where we've gotathletes coming to practice and
(34:57):
they're exhausted and they'reworn out and their brain hurts.
We've got athletes that areshowing up that are dealing with
all kinds of junk at home, orthey're dealing with a diagnosis
or a death or an illness, oryou fill in the blank with the
adversity that your team'sdealing with.
How do we get them to, on aregular basis, set aside all
(35:24):
those big, heavy burdens of theworld and be able to, just for a
couple hours, go out and focusall of their effort and all of
their energy and all of theiryou know, mental and all of
their focus just onto this taskat hand, and of their focus just
(35:48):
onto this task at hand?
And routines can play a bigrole in that.
I think one of the things thatI that I left out early on in my
career on page 65 was the postcompetition routine.
I think I think we did a prettygood job of getting guys ready
to practice and they saw thevalue in that and being able to
improve at a faster level thanour competition, and I think we
(36:08):
did a good job with getting guysready to perform.
But I think that we wasted someopportunities for growth when
we didn't have any kind of aroutine afterwards to help them
rest, to help them rest, to helpthem recover, to help them
evaluate what went well, whatdidn't go well, being
(36:31):
intentional about the wholeidentity piece, separating who
you are from what you do,helping them not tie up all of
their self-worth into theirperformance and man, that's hard
but it's so powerful.
Along with teaching them theseroutines, in my mind we have to
(36:54):
teach them the differencebetween superstition and routine
.
If you don't wear the samesocks or enter the field a
certain way, bad things happen.
And you know, is there somecomfort in you know when you do
(37:15):
everything the right way?
Sure, maybe a little bit, butthe second that things get out
of order, the second you have aweather, delay, a bus breaks
down, something goes wrong,somebody gets injured, a coach
has to leave or the second.
Things change.
Now you're in big trouble.
(37:36):
Now.
Anxiety is skyrocketing and Iwould argue in that moment it's
worse than if you would havejust not had a routine in the
first place.
But instead, instead ofsuperstition, if we can help
them see, look, routine is builton preparation and trust.
It's not about magical thinking, it's about stability, about
(38:01):
predictability, about familiaractions that signal to your
brain and body it's time to lockin, it's time to go.
And I think, helping them thinkthrough.
You know, it looks verydifferent if you're traveling
the night before and you'regoing to have an overnight and a
(38:22):
hotel stay.
It looks very different.
If you've got a three-hour busride, it looks very different if
you've got a 10 hour bus ride.
It looks very different ifyou've got a 10 minute bus ride
where you're going to hop offthe bus and be ready to go.
It looks very different ifyou've got a home game and there
is no bus ride.
But I think being intentionalabout you know, maybe you start
(38:45):
at kickoff or you start at thatfirst whistle or that first
first shot on that first tee box.
How do I get my mind and bodyready 10 minutes before that, 20
minutes before that, an hourbefore that, four hours before
that, the day before that?
How do I make sure I get sleepthe night before?
(39:07):
And then realizing that whenthings change, it's not like
we're held captive by ourroutine.
No, I would say, our teams andour athletes have to believe
that this is a tool for them, tohelp them, and so, no matter
what is thrown our way, we'regoing to be ready.
(39:30):
We're going to be prepared,we're going to know.
Yes, we have what it takes.
We know what the next step is.
We know how to get, how to movefrom I'm relaxed to I'm
starting to get engaged to I'mlocked in and I'm ready to go.
So, again, you know, on theworksheet, it's got the learn
you got to figure out.
(39:50):
How do I get this messageacross?
How do I teach my level, mysport, my, my program?
I think this is a reallypowerful one too that, if you've
ever done this before, havesome former athlete come back
and talk about it?
Have you know one of the teamcaptains stand up and say this
is just how I've done it?
Find a YouTube clip from someprofessional athlete in your
(40:14):
sport.
That's talking about why theydo it Somehow.
Get your kids to buy in that,yes, this is important.
And then help them connect.
Help them connect the dots intheir head hey, have I done this
?
Do I do this?
How do I feel beforecompetition?
What do I do when things change?
Get their mind thinking aboutthose things and connecting
(40:36):
those dots, and then have themevaluate themselves, have them
give themselves a score.
So we've got something that's alittle bit more objective.
Now.
Who are the people scoringreally high that can maybe bring
others along with them?
Who are the people that arescoring really low that need a
lot of help in this area?
Maybe you've been hammered onthis all last offseason and so
(41:00):
you're good to go.
For the majority of the peopleon your squad, they're set in
this area.
Or maybe you've never talkedabout this before and as an
entire program, you need toaddress this.
You need to teach this,integrate this.
I love the coaching cornerquestions on here, where you
know it's talking about what arethe routines that we already
(41:22):
have?
Because, just like individualshave routines, teams have
routines also, and so you know,especially before the first game
, especially, you know, before atournament game or before
postseason play starts, how isthe routine going to be a little
bit different?
(41:42):
I'll be honest, in 2013,.
That completely caught us offguard.
We had no idea how short ourpregame warmup was going to be,
and so it wrecked the confidenceof some of our players, and
they even talk about it to thisday.
So that's something that, in mymind, is absolutely worth
(42:05):
having a conversation on theteam level, not just the
individual level.
That wraps up part two.
Next time, we'll be hoppinginto part three, chosen
confidence.
If you have questions, ifyou've got feedback, I would
love to hear from you guys.
Do you like this format?
Is this format helpful?
Should we spend more time?
(42:26):
Should we spend less time?
What are you looking for?
How can I deliver value to you?
How can I help you get yourteam prepared?
How can I help you believe thatyou have what it takes to go
out and to succeed?
That's been my entiremotivation, from writing this
book, to putting this workbooktogether, to recording these
(42:50):
episodes.
There were times as a player inmy own life where I wasn't
confident and I didn't alwaysknow how to fix it.
There were times, especiallyearly in my coaching career,
when I felt like my athletesshould be confident, but for
some reason they weren't, and Ididn't know what to do about it.
(43:11):
And so this book, and reallythis entire series, is just me
continuing this mission ofhelping no one to have to go
through that terrible feeling ofoh my goodness, what do I do
next?
And having no idea how to fixthese problems, how to address
(43:31):
some of these things that wehave to deal with.
If you enjoyed this, if youfound it helpful, would love for
you to share, leave a comment.
Right now, the book doesn'thave any reviews on Amazon.
If you find this book helpfuland you'd be willing to go in
and write a review and justexplain so that other people and
so that the algorithm can seewhat did this help you do?
(43:53):
How did this help you improve,would be super appreciative if
you'd be willing to do that,just so that other people can
find these resources alsoAppreciate you guys being here.
Until next time, make your planand put it to work.
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