March 20, 2025 • 52 mins
Weekly chaos ensues as workplace drama unfolds with a difficult client who refuses to communicate properly and wastes everyone's time with hypothetical questions. A frustrating meeting highlights the disconnect between different company systems and the challenges of getting everyone on the same page.
• Client Brandon holding a meeting hostage for an hour with hypothetical questions and the follies that follow
• Standing desk finally delivered and perfect for working from bed
• Tracy Morgan's courtside vomiting incident delaying an NBA game
• Jonathan Majors controversy with resurfaced audio admitting to assault
• NASA astronauts returning after nine months in space looking dramatically aged
• Review of found footage horror film Apollo 18 about moon aliens
• Detailed breakdown of "Missing Couple" about influencers disappearing in nowhere Mississippi
• Quick reviews of "Cursed Friends" and "Novocaine" as movie recommendations
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
happy thursday, peeps .
Here we are again.
Another Thursday, another day,I guess.
Another week of nonsense,another week of you know what's
funny is I haven't had a lot toreport back lately to you guys,
and what's funny is that thisweek I have a whole bunch of
nonsense to say.
But again it still might beanother short episode.
(01:03):
I know one time I was able todo an hour Lately.
It's become less and less.
A couple things to report fromwork should be stupid to tell
you, but I had a meeting with aclient yesterday and this is the
one that's been dicking aroundand not giving me the paperwork
I need and just, you know, lyingon their backs about everything
(01:23):
and just pretending sorry,you're going to hear a lot of
movement here Just pretendingthat they don't know that I've
asked for information severaltimes and it's the same
information every time and theystill pretend like they don't
know that I need this shit.
You know what I mean.
(01:44):
Like they seem to forget thatif you don't give me the
information I need, I can't domy job.
That's the only thing.
So if you hold me up, you'reholding up your entire process,
and I have examples of that forthe rest of the day.
But I'm going to start with thesimple one, which was yesterday
.
This client that's been fuckingwith me.
(02:05):
We finally all got on a meetingand before I get into the
details of the conversation ofthis meeting, I just want to
preface this by saying thatmyself and the project manager
who had issues this is the one Ibeefed with her on saying, with
her saying that I was reallyaggressive to the client, which,
no, my tone is veryprofessional at work.
And also like, if you don'tlike how I'm speaking to
(02:27):
somebody, tell my manager, justlet my manager deal with it.
She's pretty chill, she knowsI'm not an aggressive person and
it's just I don't know she shecan't get with the program or it
was an off day or whatever itwas.
So this is that client.
We fought over that client Notreally fought, but like had a
(02:48):
disagreement, and then she likesmiles in my face like bitch,
you said what you said.
Now you want me to be yourfriend, anyway.
So my manager's been out thisweek.
Haven't really been takingadvantage because there's no
need to.
The workload is still prettyconsistent, still getting
clients assigned to me on aweekly basis.
At one point it was almostevery other day and I was like
(03:09):
what in the fuck's going on?
Like me and this other girl onmy team were like hey, how many
clients do we have together?
Like me and her and I was likeI don't know, it feels like
every other day we're gettingsome bullshit assigned to us.
And she just laughs because sheknows I'm right.
One week we had like fourclients assigned to each other.
It's ridiculous.
So hold on.
(03:32):
Yeah, so this client we had ameeting yesterday and me and the
project manager who beefed, wehad a call.
We had a moment where we werelike I can't get anywhere with
this guy.
His name's Brandon, he's thestage rep Can't get anywhere
with him.
He doesn't volunteerinformation, he's not helpful,
he doesn't assist with anythingand he tries to back out of
(03:55):
things that are actually hisresponsibility.
And it's like it's yourresponsibility to do your job,
like it's my responsibility todo my job.
And you know what's funny, I'mhearing this and I'm having such
a fucking deja vu where I'veprobably mentioned this a
million times on this podcastnow, but it's like I'm not going
to stop because I know what Ineed to do on my end.
Do you know what you need to doon your end.
(04:17):
So I think he got pissed offthat we kind of went over his
head and we're telling hissupervisor that look, listen, in
order for us to do what we needto do on the ADP side, he has
to work with us from the SAGEside.
We can't do both.
So I think he was pissed offabout that.
So he came into the callyesterday guns blazing and he
basically held me hostage for anhour, me and Angie Angie's
(04:39):
awesome.
He held us hostage for an hourin which he kept asking
hypotheticals and Angie and Iare like no, we need something
in black and white.
We don't do hypotheticalsbecause it doesn't work.
We can't just do ifs and maybesand shit and then it just not
be.
And the client is just likesitting in the background doing
nothing, probably picking theirnose or something or like
(05:01):
whatever.
And then of course you knowthey would interject, but
they're talking amongstthemselves.
But it's like okay, bitches,mute yourself.
You guys are in like officesacross the hall from each other
If y'all have something to say,because then he starts getting
mad.
Brandon starts getting pissedoff that these people are
talking while he's trying toconvey something to us.
Like he even got to the pointwhere he said to them okay, guys
(05:21):
, really stop doing that,because you're throwing other
variables at the question.
And my main question hasn'teven been answered yet and I was
like, oh fuck.
I was like this guy's hadenough of this whole shebang.
Okay, this call was supposed tobe 30 minutes or less.
Usually they're less becausehe's never on them.
(05:44):
30 minutes or less Usuallythey're less because he's never
on them.
So, like I said, I got heldhostage for like 45 minutes to
an hour and then had toimmediately run to my next one.
And the worst part is is thatthe project manager, megan,
fucking left.
She left after like 35 minutes.
Like she hit up the chat andwas like sorry, I have to go, I
have another call that I'mrunning late too, and she made
(06:05):
me co-host, so that means I'mstill running the meeting while
she's gone.
So I'm in charge of anythingelse and I'm not a project
manager.
So it's like, bro, you can't dothat.
Okay, you have to like sideping me and let me know you're
doing that.
This is like poor communication.
So I'm fucking sitting there,I'm dealing with these
hypotheticals and he's asking mequestions about like the cost
(06:27):
string numbers, which is howitems get delegated in a general
ledger, is there's a coststring number and it goes to a
specific account, yada, yada,yada.
I won't bore you with thedetails.
So he's asking me and Angie,hypotheticals, and we're like,
well, we're not, I'm not reallyeven sure what you you're
talking about, because what Iwas provided on the template.
And he goes what are you eventalking about a template for?
(06:48):
I'm like, well, I provided atemplate to the client and they
gave me account numbers and hewas like well, what are these
even what are these accountnumbers?
And I wanted to be like bitch,are you fucking kidding?
I sent this template over andyou were supposed to look at
this with Robert, which I wastold a million times you guys
were going to do in your calls,did you or did you not do your
fucking job?
That's what it comes down to.
And I was side pinging Angieand I was like, bro, this guy
(07:11):
has not done anything he said hewas going to do in his emails
and that was clearly evident andI hope it's in the recording.
I even told her I was like I'venever been made to feel so
incompetent in my entire lifeand she was like oh, don't feel
like that.
And I'm like it's not even that, it's like.
You know my brain's not whereit should be.
This conversation went on waytoo long.
(07:31):
He's confusing me with thewording, because his wording is
sage wording, my wording is ADPwording and he knows that.
He acknowledged that.
He's like but I'm not with ADP,I'm with Sage.
So I'm trying to like there'slike a disconnect.
Okay, so we finally got down toit where we started, just
answering him with yes, itshould, it should work that way.
(07:53):
And he was like well, can youconfirm that it will?
And I'm like not, withoutseeing it, no.
So he was like well, we're,what we're trying to do is we're
trying to confirm ADP'scapability?
And me and Angie are like andthat's fine, but you're not
really giving us anythingconcrete to work with.
So once we have concreteinformation in front of us, we
can surely give you an answer.
I even told him at one point.
(08:14):
I was like can I research thisand circle back with you on it?
And he was like like he didn'tknow what to do with that answer
.
And I'm like but, bro, you'vebeen jumping down our fucking
throat this whole time, so whenI give you an answer.
That's not straightforward.
Now you're going to get upsetand confused, bitch.
You know what I said.
What I said is I don't knowright now that's what that
answer is.
(08:34):
I have your email, I'll reachout to you and of course you
know, um, towards the end of it,when we finally got to an
answer, you know the client thenjumps in and is like well, we
don't really need any of that.
Like he made a big stink.
He put in a whole show foreverybody because he got
probably butt hurt.
That me and Megan were likehe's not helpful.
(08:56):
He's never on any of the callswith us.
He's never da da, da, da da.
It's not that he's never, hejust doesn't volunteer to do
anything.
So it's like we can't doanything without you, bud.
We're supposed to work togetherLike nevermind the client.
The client gives me theinformation, that's fine.
But if Sage and ADP aresupposed to talk to each other,
everything's supposed to lookthe same Okay, and if it doesn't
(09:17):
, it's not going to work.
So if you're not activelycommunicating with us and I've
been trying to reach out to youto get you to help me and you
don't answer, what do you think?
That means the project doesn'tget done Timely, by the way,
because these clients are goinglive in April and we are almost
done with March.
So if we could figure out ourfucking lives, our horoscopes,
(09:37):
whatever you have to get yourchakras aligned, whatever you
have to do to make this projectgo on time, do it, motherfucker,
because I'm not going to sitthrough another 45-minute
meeting with you for you to tryand fucking bash me in my role,
even after the client interjectsand finally says, hey, we don't
need this.
Like I was laughing becauseAngie goes yeah, why did the
(10:00):
client wait till now to just saysomething?
Let me see, she said everyclient's a learning opportunity.
She made me feel so much betterabout what was happening
yesterday Cause I was like bro,I feel so overwhelmed with
everything he's saying to me.
Let's see, why does he not knowwhat what the need is?
This is his role with them, notwith us.
Tell us what you need and thenwe can speak to it.
(10:22):
That's what I'm saying.
That was the thing yesterday.
He's giving us like thesehypothetical shits, like don't
you know what the client needs?
Haven't you sat with them?
That's all you have done is satwith them, not us, and she's
like she was like hishypothetical is going to
convolute this.
Tell him to ask it again.
And I was like can you repeatthat?
Let me see?
I even asked her.
(10:43):
I was like wasn't he supposed toreview the GL analysis template
with the client?
That's why I sent it.
And she was right thishypothetical does not work for
us, I said that's why I wasconfused as to what his
confusion was.
He's supposed to have all theseaccount numbers and everything
all together.
Like I sent cop, like he had.
He should have access to itbecause Robert has access to it.
And Robert is like the head toit because Robert has access to
(11:07):
it.
And Robert is like the headperson in charge okay, the head
bitch in charge, and heapparently has been left in the
dark about everything.
And I've given everybody accessto every document they're
supposed to have access to.
That has to do with GeneralLedger, anyway.
So that was the thing that mademe mad is that the client
should be involved.
And just because Brandonvolunteered saying that he was
going to be the voice for theclient, that doesn't mean he's
the voice for the client oneverything.
Because towards the end of themeeting the client was like,
(11:30):
yeah, we don't need all thatextra shit.
And I was like, oh my God, wereally just sat through this for
an hour for this guy to be afucking drama queen and yes, I
mean drama queen.
So cancel or not, let me see.
Yes, that was pretty much itLike the client just sat back
again flicking boogers orwhatever, and me and this
(11:54):
fucking guy, me Angie and thisfucking guy are going at it
while they just sit there instunned silence.
And I need to talk to Meganabout this.
Megan is out today, so when shecomes back I'm gonna be like
hey, bruh, what is this?
A status call?
Good, they moved it.
What's this?
Thursday, march 27th?
That's better.
(12:14):
Someone scheduled a fuckingcall at 4.30 and I'm like I
leave at 4.30.
So give me some notes, I guess,because I'm not staying an
extra half an hour, because youguys don't know how to schedule
things, like look at everybody'sschedule and confirm Okay.
(12:35):
So I finally.
So my complaints, which was liketwo days ago, um, was that my
desk was supposed to bedelivered.
My standing desk, it's like um,it's one of the things you see
on TikTok a lot.
It's uh, it's an over the beddesk, like you just swing the
legs underneath it and you canwork from your bed or whatever's
comfortable, your couch,whatever.
It also stands up so I can gopretty high with it.
I was in the kitchen thismorning making my breakfast,
(12:56):
cleaning up and whatnot, likeputting away dishes and whatnot.
This thing is fucking perfect.
This thing has me on lazy inbed for sure.
Tomorrow anyway, if I didn'thave to record the podcast today
, I would definitely still be inbed with my cup of coffee.
But here we are and I don'tfeel bad because I feel good.
I feel energetic today, soprobably going to bust through
(13:17):
some video games in a little bit.
My next meeting is at 12.
But let me see, is it important?
I don't even know if we'regoing to keep it, because the
client has not reached back outto me as to whether or not they
have done anything with thetemplate I sent them last week.
Like I sent the template on the11th, which isn't even last
week, is it?
What the fuck was the firstLast Tuesday?
(13:39):
That's what it was.
Okay.
So last Tuesday I sent them thetemplate and I don't know
what's going on with theseclients, that it takes them
forever to get something done.
But it's just significantly wayworse for me to get my shit
done if they don't do it.
This is see.
This is why I keep repeatingthis shit.
I'm quick about mine, okay.
(13:59):
So when you give me somethingto do and it has to not that it
has to be done ASAP, it justneeds to be done timely,
efficiently, good, the firsttime around I don't have a
problem with doing my job.
Do yours.
I'm asking you to do one thing.
You've had this template over aweek now.
You also have not answered meas to whether or not you were
(14:20):
able to access it.
If there's any issues with thetemplate, nothing.
I've heard, absolutely nothing.
So hopefully this 12 o'clockgets canceled, because this 12
o'clock isn't really with theclient.
It's really with Points North,which is their third party,
which is another ledger they'reusing, which, I was told, isn't
really a thing.
That's like two ledgers for noreason.
(14:42):
I was told that ADP should justbe the only one.
But Fuck it, none of mybusiness, I don't work for them.
The other part of it is that Ilike megan.
She's good backup, she's tough,okay.
So I think she and I have anunderstanding of how each other
works now.
Um, but it's just so funnybecause it's like she came over
(15:05):
to me after the meeting we hadlast week and she goes.
So what are we doing?
I was like it sounds like wejust proceed as usual.
I send them the template forthem to complete and I wait for
this guy to send me whateverhe's going to send me from
points North that he needs to dohis mapping.
So I actually did some researchon this and this is interesting
because I'm very havingtransitioned from Upmarket to
(15:28):
this a lot of research isinvolved.
When you do customer service forthat company, for this company,
what you do is there's a wholelike Wikidocs thing for those
employees, for employees thatwork for ADP, and you use it
like it's Wikipedia.
You search for the thing you'relooking for.
It's in one centralizedlocation and that's it.
(15:51):
It's all the information youneed to answer.
Your question is right there,but you have to know the right
keywords.
That's the problem.
Less is more, so, um, a lot ofresearch goes into it.
You have to play a lot ofdetective work.
You have to like get your handsdirty and figure out what's
going on.
I know what I'm looking forwhen things happen, so I think
(16:13):
I'm probably what I was told inthe interview is that I'm a
really good fit for the rolebecause I know from a payroll
service perspective which iswhat they call what I did before
, from the service side of thisto now being implementation,
which puts things together andbuilds it that I know what I'm
asking for, what I'm looking forNot true?
(16:36):
Not true at all.
There's a different process tothings, but it's basically
almost the same.
So if someone gives me aquestion and it's not GL related
, I'm always like tempted toanswer the question.
Now, when it comes to gettinginformation, two points north,
(16:56):
this is where I was going withthis.
This client, this third party,was asking for information and I
was like well, how am Isupposed to come about this?
So I did some research inanother program that we use to
communicate with new clients andthere's a document in there
that has their general ledgersummary up till like February
(17:16):
15th.
Some of it is line by line,some of it is a summary, like
the last 10 pages were summary.
So of course, I go to Megan andI'm like all right, what should
we do?
Because they're getting alittle stupid and impatient in
my inbox and I kept telling her.
I'm like did you see his lastresponse, because sometimes they
put stank on it for whateverreason, because they think
that's going to frighten me.
(17:37):
And everybody who's listened tothis knows that I'm not afraid
to deal with stupid ass clients.
So, um, sorry about that.
So he, uh, so he's asking forinformation.
(18:00):
He's asked, he sent me aspreadsheet and he goes hey, I
need this separated out by this,this and this, like there's
columns of shit he's looking for.
So I told Megan I'm like listen,okay, um, I really don't know
if I should be putting thistogether because I don't know
exactly what they're looking for, or should I give them the
option to do it themselves andgive them the data they're
looking for?
(18:20):
And she was like well, I'll letyou respond to the email, um,
cause I'm a little tied up.
And she goes and you decide howyou want to move forward.
So I said okay.
So I basically emailed theclient and was like uh, I
emailed the third point.
The third point the third partycompany points North and was
(18:41):
like hey, so I have what you'relooking for, but if I'm to do
this spreadsheet it might takesome time, whereas I can just
send you the data in a PDF andyou guys can pick it apart
willy-nilly, and they chose tonot answer me Friday.
And they answered me Mondaysaying that they would prefer me
(19:05):
to send over the data.
And I was like, exactly becauseI don't work for you guys and I
don't know what you're lookingfor.
So, yes, a good call there.
So that was good.
I have my good buddy, mary,bothering me about some shit.
Yesterday, even though I toldher how to do everything, she
doesn't listen or, you know,doesn't take notes or anything
(19:28):
like that, because I've shownher how to do the things she's
asking to do.
So now I have to get on a callwith her today and her questions
don't make sense to me.
So that'll be fun at oneo'clock to fuck around with this
lady for an hour.
In any case, some other thingshave come up in the news.
Tracy Morgan delayed an NBAgame by throwing up on in court
(19:50):
side seats.
I'm like bro in courtside seats.
I'm like bro, keep it together,bitch, let's look this up,
tracy Morgan.
Vomit, vomit, vomit.
Nicks is the craziest thing tocome up as a first Google search
.
Let's see, stop, that's crazy.
So on ESPN, let's just go rightto some sports shit.
(20:13):
That's crazy.
So on ESPN, let's just go rightto some sports shit.
Tracy Morgan says food poisoningwas to blame for his taking ill
during Monday's Heat-Knicksgame at Madison Square Garden
and that he's doing okay.
Bro, this picture is phenomenal.
The actor-comedian posted anupdate on Instagram on Tuesday
morning, along with a smilingphoto from a hospital bed,
thanking fans for their concern.
Morgan also suggestedhumorously that perhaps his
(20:36):
health episode spelled good luckfor the Knicks.
Throwing up all over thebasketball court is good luck.
I don't think so.
Let's see.
Thank you all for your concern.
This is from the post itself.
Thank you all for your concern.
I'm doing okay now and doctorssay it was food poisoning.
Appreciate my MSG family fortaking such good care of me and
I need to shout out the crewthat had to clean that up.
(20:56):
Bro, the picture of himthrowing up is just a fucking
stream of vomit.
He said appreciate you.
More importantly, the Knicksare now 1-0 when I throw up on
the court, so maybe I'll have tobreak it out again in the
playoffs.
It's fucking nasty Hashtag goKnicks.
I'm doing okay now and doctorssay blah, blah, blah, yep.
Morgan vomited in the secondhalf of Monday night's
(21:19):
Heat-Knicks game, interruptingthe action at Madison Square
Garden with six minutes and nineseconds left in the third
quarter while workers cleaned upthe area around his seat.
The delay lasted more than 10minutes.
The Knicks went on to win116-95.
All right, more than 10 minutes.
The Knicks went on to win116-95.
Longtime Knicks fan, morgan 56,was featured prominently during
(21:41):
the Saturday Night Live 50thanniversary weekend events at
both the SNL 50 Homecomingconcert and the live SNL 50
anniversary celebration special.
He also has an upcominguntitled comedy pilot on NBC
opposite Daniel Radcliffe, inwhich he plays a disgraced
former football player lookingto remake his image.
He struggled with health issuesin the past, including a 2010
kidney transplant and atraumatic brain injury from a
2014 accident with a tractortrailer that put him in a coma.
(22:03):
He's got too much stuff goingon and the fact that the stream
of vomit is insane and someonecaught it and it just looks like
it went everywhere.
Caught it and it just lookslike it went everywhere.
I just like how someone threwthe vomit emoji next to Tracy
Morgan shit.
Like we know he threw up bruh.
We know he threw up.
Hold on a second, let me see.
(22:24):
Had some orders order passedoff to you?
I don't, james.
I'm not really in the mood.
I'm not really interested atall.
Uh, jonathan majors and Megangood got married.
Um, I know, we all know that hedoesn't seem like a good guy.
Um, let me see Jonathan majorsassault oh, I can't spell his
(22:51):
name.
That's cool, let's see.
So here's the first thing, bro.
Hold on, hold on.
That's so crazy.
So stop.
I don't want this shit.
Jonathan Majors reportedlyadmits to assaulting ex Grace
Jabari and resurfaced audio.
First of all, there was videoof it happening, so we don't
(23:13):
need your audio for that.
So let's see.
Jonathan Major's tumultuousrelationship with Grace Jabari
is back in the spotlight, as aresurfaced audio clip seemingly
shows the former Marvel starconfessing to assaulting his ex
yeah, former Marvel star becauseof this.
In the newly released audioclip obtained by Rolling Stone
(23:34):
and published on Monday, majorsreportedly can be heard
admitting to strangling Jabariand pushing her against the car
during a conversation with aBritish dancer and movement
coach.
Majors was convicted in late2023 for attacking Jabari in a
different incident during a carride in Manhattan, which is a
video I saw Per Rolling Stone.
The couple's conversation wascaptured in the aftermath of a
(23:57):
days-long fight between Majorsand his then-girlfriend.
The release of the audio comesjust days before the
much-anticipated premiere ofMajors' film magazine Dreams his
(24:17):
assault.
I'm ashamed.
I've ever Okay, I've never beenaggressive with a woman before.
I've never aggressed a woman.
I aggressed you.
Stop just saying words.
Following his March 2023 arrestover domestic violence
altercation, majors faced eightmisdemeanor counts at trial
involving assault, aggravatedharassment and harassment.
(24:39):
At the time, jabari alleged hestruck her in the head with his
open hand, twisted her armbehind her back and squeezed her
middle finger until itfractured.
You strangled me and pushed meagainst the car.
Jabari says to Majors in theclip, to which Majors replies
yes, all those things areunder-aggressed.
Yeah, that's never happened tome.
What the fuck does that mean?
(25:01):
Jabari later probes Majors foran explanation for the assault,
asking the Ant-Man and the WaspQuantumania star if he attacked
her because she said somethingsarcastically in your eyes.
In response, majors says well,clearly it's more than that.
Okay, go on.
We're missing some story here,something inside of you.
(25:22):
Jabari says as a follow-up.
Major's reply yeah, towards you.
What the fuck is happening withthis conversation?
Am I in a fucking call, like ateam's call that's just breaking
up because there's no reception?
What the fuck is happening with?
Release the clip, for fuck'ssake, because reading it feels
like I'm going to have a stroke.
I don't know what any of thatmeans.
I don't know what it translatesto.
(25:43):
Bitches are crazy.
That's all I'm going to say.
Bitches and that homie is crazy, anyway.
So I also saw that they finallygot these fucking people out of
space.
I think I talked about this acouple episodes ago.
They finally got them out ofspace.
They spent nine months.
Nine months in space yeah, myallergies are kicking bruh.
(26:05):
Before and after photos ofstranded astronauts back on
Earth reveal shocking impact ofbeing stuck in space for nine
months.
That's so crazy.
After a grueling nine months inspace, it might not come as a
surprise that the NASAastronauts that were stuck in
orbit look a bit different.
Yeah, they look like they're 90.
Yeah, they look like they're 90.
(26:27):
On Tuesday, march 18th,astronauts Barry Butch Wilmore
and Sunita Suni Williams werebrought back home to Earth
aboard the SpaceX Dragonspacecraft after being stranded
on the International SpaceStation since June of last year.
Again, would rather pass away.
Also saw a movie we're going todiscuss in a second.
Being away from home for solong is bound to have an adverse
effect on their health, whichNASA is clearly aware of, as we
(26:50):
saw the team taken away onstretchers before they could
even take a single step on landafter their splash landing off
the Gulf Coast near Tallahassee.
Brett, they look good here.
Let's see how they look on theway out.
Yet aside from breathing actualoxygen from the air, wilmore and
Williams are also feelinggravity against their bones for
the first time in nine months,which comes with a long list of
(27:10):
potential health worries.
In itself, issues range fromchicken legs and baby feet to an
increased risk of cancer, asper the Daily Mail, with the
astronauts not quite out of thewoods yet from health
complications.
Now they are on home soil.
While the pair are enduring aseries of medical tests at
NASA's Johnson Space Center inHouston, some experts warn there
are already some telltale signsthat indicate a possible
(27:32):
decline in their health.
Some onlookers claimed beforeand after photographs of Wilmore
and Williams appeared to showthem as gaunt and having perhaps
lost weight.
Perhaps, perhaps Williamscouldn't walk when she came out
of the spacecraft.
Insane, she looks 90.
Under the surface, experts saythey could have a buildup of
(27:53):
fluids in their head due topressure on their eyes and
optical nerves which couldaffect their appearance.
There's even a term for thisSpace flight associated
neuroocular syndrome, sans,which is responsible for
swelling in the optic nerve andcausing blurry or fuzzy vision.
While many astronauts' eyesreturn to normal when they come
to Earth, nasa says some sideeffects.
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
(28:14):
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
Jesus Christ, hold on, wherewas I now, bitch?
Okay, now they got me fucked up.
While many astronauts' eyesreturn to normal when they come
to Earth, nasa says some sideeffects could be permanent and
(28:34):
depends on how long the team canremain in space, which is
concerning for the pair giventheir extended mission.
As for their cognitivefunctions, the changing
pressures in the brain, coupledwith stress and lack of sleep,
could lead to decline, as seenbefore in some astronauts.
You know fucking shit, butmicrogravity presents the
largest risk to the pair, as,without the Earth's pull,
astronauts' muscles weaken overtime and can mean they struggle
(28:55):
to maintain a healthy weight.
This also explains why the pairwere unable to walk when they
first landed on Earth.
Despite their intense exerciseregime and high-calorie diet
aboard the ISS, they can stillsuffer from muscle atrophy,
which could also be contributingtowards their frail appearance.
Towards their frail appearance.
Then there's also SVTspaceflight venous thrombosis,
(29:16):
which involves an upward fluidshift and can make the face look
puffy, which is propelled byessentially hanging upside down
Insane.
Unfortunately.
Nasa says most astronautsreturn to their pre-mission
fitness levels after 45 days,though in severe cases it can
take months or even a year torecover.
Retired British astronaut TimPeake said on Radio X for me
going into space was no problemat all, but for the first two
(29:37):
days on Earth I felt prettyrough.
I think Butch and Suni will befeeling a bit rough right now.
You know, the whole body isjust getting used to gravity.
The vestibular system's a bitmessed up.
You feel dizzy, a bit nauseous.
So it'll take them a couple ofdays to get over that Couple of
days.
(29:57):
Couple of days to get over that.
A couple of days.
A couple of days is crazy,crazy.
Ad blockers fucking the amountof ads, bro.
That just like realign me onthis page is stupid, but that's
crazy.
Sucks, would never go to space.
And that segues into anotherperfect thing that happened.
So yesterday, myself andDaniel-san over there, we
(30:18):
watched fucking Apollo 18, amovie from 2011, which is a
found footage, and Mike Flanagansaid that this was a pretty
creepy movie, okay.
And then I found another onethat me and the boyfriend are
watching, but it's it's calledhashtag missing couple.
But we'll get into that in asecond.
So this movie had two I can'teven hold on Apollo 17.
(30:41):
Here we go.
Was the last us sponsored lunarvoyage or was it?
Hours of found footageclassified for decades point to
a subsequent moon mission,apollo 18.
That ended very badly, badly.
Astronauts John Gray and NathanWalker and Benjamin Anderson, on
a mission to install radarscanners, discover a Soviet
space capsule nearby.
The men also discover a deadcosmonaut and, unfortunately for
(31:04):
them, learn how he died.
It's aliens.
It's aliens.
Spoiler alert, as if anyoneneeded that.
Now, whenever we go to space,what's the actual problem?
Aliens, bitch Aliens, aliens,aliens.
Okay, you don't need to guess.
You're like, oh, what couldhave happened?
Like you, look at this fucking.
(31:24):
First of all, if you look atthe fucking movie poster, it's
someone getting dragged away bywhat, or it's someone getting
dragged away by what, aliens?
So one guy gets infected,brings it aboard, starts getting
crazy, then the thing getsloose in the fucking ship,
compromising the unit, and then,of course, you know, the guy
(31:49):
thinks he's going to save thisother dude.
Meanwhile, me and Dan areyelling at the screen like just
poking holes in everything.
Because, to be honest with you,the first question I ask is how
the fuck did it get in his suitif it didn't puncture anything?
Because if his suit ispunctured, he really shouldn't
(32:11):
be going out in space.
Yeah, yes, I'm working tomorrow.
Fucking James, bro, leave mealone, bro.
Um, just got asked if I'mworking tomorrow.
It's fucking Friday, isn't it?
What's happening tomorrow thatI shouldn't be working?
Um, so, yeah, so the guy thinksthat he's going to be goody.
Two shoes and I'm gonna saveyou, bro, we're going to go home
(32:31):
.
We're going to go home.
He's like nah, you got to leaveme shoes and I'm going to save
you, bro, we're going to go home.
We're going to go home.
He's like now, you got to leaveme here, I'm going to die.
Like you can see, like hetransforms instantly from a
human looking person to someonethat's maybe smoked too much
weed in their lifetime.
That's what you see.
His eyes go crazy bloodshot.
His pupils are super dilated,like it just looks insane.
(32:56):
I'm not saving you, okay, the?
When I tell you that if someone, if I go to space which is
never going to happen becauseI've common sense.
If I go to space and Dan iswith me and this happens to Dan,
dan dies.
He gets left out in space untilhe just does that walk like in
kill bill.
When she does that five pointstunner heart shit to him at the
end he takes like five paces orthree paces, however many it is
, and his heart explodes in hischest.
(33:18):
I'm watching Dan do that inspace On the moon it looked like
I'm watching him do it.
And if I was to ever come off myship that I'm on and see
footsteps that are not mine andsee footsteps that are not mine,
I need to be like Houston.
We have a larger than lifeproblem, okay.
We have the Jolly Green Giantsdick size of an issue, okay.
(33:41):
And you need to get me now.
I need to be lifted off thisbitch.
Someone come get me.
Like I'm not doing it, I'm notgetting stuck out here, I'm not
hanging out with this homie inhere.
Well, homie is going to be deadoutside, so it won't matter.
So my thing is is they went andexplored way too much for
people who have seen way toomuch on that planet.
Okay, you're going to have toget me out.
(34:03):
Just get me out.
I'm not dealing with any of it.
Like I said, smart people don'tgo to space, or the smartest
people do think they'll surviveit, and just this shit happens.
But I think I'm a big fan offound footage shit.
I like it because there's adifferent kind of intrigue there
(34:25):
.
Like I know, blair Witch wasone thing, but I didn't fall
into that craze Like I probablyshould watch it because it was
iconic for its time and peoplestill talk about it and there's
even a game about it.
That kind of made me weak, butI never fell into.
Oh, I need to see Blair Witch.
But that brings me to my nextpoint, which is there's this
(34:46):
movie called Hashtag MissingCouple and it's about a couple,
man, man and wife, who are bothinfluencers and they go off,
they, they decide to hunker downin an actual cabin in
Mississippi, no less.
So I was poking fun at theboyfriend last night about that.
Um, because that's where hisyou know, I guess his parents,
(35:10):
dad lives over there, whatever.
Uh, he's got family over there,I think.
You know what, I don't evenknow, because as much as we say,
hey, you're gonna go back toMississippi or homeland, and
he's like, no, no, I grew up inPine Hills, florida and I'm like
, okay, well, you know what,pick something, bruh or lose the
accent.
Are you faking this?
Is this accent fake?
Is this how you tried to get me?
(35:31):
You got me already.
You can pull it off, stop,anyway.
So they go to, they buy thislike rundown looking place that
they plan on fixing up, and then, like a whole bunch of weird
shit starts happening.
But you don't see it at first.
So we, uh, we see this coupleand they're living their lives
whatever.
(35:51):
They give us like 10 minutes offootage of them.
You know they lived van life sothey could travel and fund
their lifestyle and all thatshit and they kept posting
whatever, whatever.
Then they finally, I guess, gotenough money to buy a house.
So they buy this broken downshit they're going to fix.
Then it cuts out and it goes umat found people something.
Hold on, I got a fucking.
I'm sorry, I'm all over theplace with this.
(36:12):
Give me one second Missingcouple.
Here it is.
So it says at Austin and Jana,that's their TikTok.
And what's funny is things likethis you know symbols and shit
now and they blur them outanyway.
So that's what I always thoughtwas funny.
This didn't get good reviews,but I watched bullshit anyway.
(36:34):
Austin at Austin and Jana werea real life, hashtag van life
couple on an adventure torenovate an abandoned farm in
the middle of nowhere inMississippi, cameras blazing.
They chronicled their projecton social media, but the farm
was full of disturbing surprises, especially at night, someone
or something was stalking thecouple.
So this guy comes and he'sfriends with them.
(37:01):
Everybody's fucking making athing out of it.
It's crazy.
This guy who's supposedlyfriends with them Apparently.
I said there's a great ending,so I can't wait.
So this guy who finds peoplethat's what he does has his own
page and he said it says rightafter they show them smiling and
(37:23):
whatever it says.
Immediately afterwards, uh,austin and janna went dark on
social media and I was like,holy shit, babe, this starts off
fast, huh.
And it's the I think it's afound people report or some shit
.
That's the guy that goeslooking for them.
And it's one dude by himselfwho said hey, if anybody is
interested in helping me findthese people and is serious
(37:45):
about it, I will DM you theaddress and you can come help me
figure this out.
But he goes by himself and I'mlike does anyone have a weapon
in this shit?
Austin and Jana didn't,apparently, because they went
dark on social media.
Then this fucking guy shows up,doesn't have a gun, but at
least Austin and Jana had a dog,so what happens to the dog?
Okay, the way that angles areshot in this shit makes me so,
(38:09):
it makes me angry.
But it's also like, bro, youare out in wilderness, look
behind you a little bit.
Okay, and I know you're doingit on purpose and you're not
looking behind you, but lookbehind you anyway.
Um, my grandma saying goodmorning.
Anyway, uh, my cousin Nikki ishaving some issues.
She's in the hospital right now, uh, for a carotid dissection.
(38:30):
So good vibes everybody.
So, yeah, so this guy goes sofar.
We've watched maybe half of itbefore we passed out yesterday.
And this guy goes, he uses adrone to scan the property.
It's a lot of acreage.
They have their own little lake, which they keep calling a pond
, which I need to know.
(38:51):
What quantifies a pond versus alake, because that shit is huge
to be a pond.
A pond is like something Ithink that's in.
You know those koi ponds yousee in front of, like hibachi
places.
They're small.
What I'm seeing as what thisbitch keeps referring to as a
pond is not a pond.
That shit could be an ocean ifit wanted to.
That's how big it is.
It's not because no ships, butlike it's too big to be
(39:15):
considered a damn pond.
Okay, they show them swimmingin it too, and something grabs
the dude and we're like, whatthe fuck?
What would have grabbed him atthe bottom?
An octopus?
I'm stupid.
Uh, the other thing, um, oh, myGod.
So the guy is by himself.
He does the drone footage.
They see everything.
(39:35):
And he goes oh, there's theircar.
It doesn't look like there'sbeen any human activity in a
while.
Let's go take a look.
This man leaves his car at thegate and walks down this long
ass probably mile long drivewayto get to the house.
Finally, and I'm like, bro,take the car.
Why would you leave the carthere?
You just droned over thisentire fucking property and you
(39:59):
know it's a long walk.
What are you doing?
This is why I can't watch these.
So he gets to the house, thefront doors unlocked, which the
hell no, and he starts walkingaround.
He's like, oh, a little bit ofdirt here, like a thin layer of
dirt right here, and we're likeokay, bro, stop cleaning, stop
cleaning and get to it.
He just like walks around thehouse, he looks for anything he
(40:21):
could find.
He actually found, walking upto the house, he found Jana's
iPhone, and this is why I laugh.
It's because they blurred outthe Apple symbol when he finally
was able to get a charge on it.
Like we don't know it's aniPhone.
I'm like what are y'all doing?
Do you just stop?
Like it's so obvious it's aniPhone.
What are you blurring it out?
For what?
Only Apple phones turn on thisway anyway.
(40:44):
So he plugged it in, he got acharge on it.
He starts watching footage.
But this man does not set upshop in the house.
He sets up a tent away from thehouse, a tent, not even
anything to defend himself with.
Like this is like after he'smoved his car off the road and
all this shit.
So he parked, finally in thedriveway, near the house, I
think.
But he was like, let me move mycar away, but that's not the
(41:07):
problem.
So he, he sets up a tent, okay,and like, you set up a tent, he
sets up a fire outside the tentand he's sitting there and he's
watching some of the footagewith his back to nature.
I was like, bro, your back isto the fucking galaxy.
Okay, bro, um, what are youdoing?
(41:29):
Anybody could run up on you atthis point.
We've seen some more footage ofyou know, austin and Jana
getting um accommodated to thehouse.
They start gardening, like theydo, start doing cute shit that
you would do when you first geta house like that, starting to
fix everything up.
The only thing that bothers meis they didn't get any curtains
so like everybody can see intothe house.
So that's fucking weird.
(41:51):
That'd be the first thing I get.
Like even when I movedapartments I was like, okay,
does this one have blinds too?
And it does.
But also I need curtainsbecause the way the sun beams on
my bedroom it looks like I'msleeping on the sun.
So I've even showed pictures tomy mom and she goes do you have
lights on in there?
I'm like, nope, that's justsunlight and I have curtains up
(42:12):
in there.
That's funny.
So she gave me curtains that Ihave yet to put up and I've had
them, I think, for three weeksnow.
I think that's when I saw mygrandmother last, because we all
met up there, yeah, so that'swhat we've seen so far.
(42:34):
The guy was using their trailcameras.
He set up some dog treats tosee if anything comes by.
We got to a part where thehusband Austin because it
flashes back and forth, so itgoes to current time where
someone is looking for them, andthen, previous to that, which
is, you know, flashing back tothe footage of the couples taken
of the house so far.
So they, um, he said, oh, mywife's out on a run, he's like
(42:54):
janna's out on a run right now,and I just want to take a look
at the cameras, because thecameras, the trail cameras, were
set up by austin and janna.
So he goes, so he's looking atthe footage and everything and
he sees nothing.
On the trail he saw a coupledeer.
He said two of them ran off,whatever.
And then, um, he looks at theone that's pointed towards the
house and there's like a darkfucking figure walking toward
(43:14):
the house and earlier in one ofthe previous videos that the
dude that's looking for themfound, the bitch said she
couldn't find her toothbrush.
Where did the guy take hertoothbrush?
I'm like uh-uh, if I know mytoothbrush is in the bathroom
and I never move it from therebecause where am I going?
I'm leaving A random thing likea toothbrush being missing is
(43:38):
insane to me.
And you have all those doorsthat have deadbolts on them.
Which one is unlocked, bitch?
Anyway, the guy who's lookingfor them even points out.
In the first preliminarywalkthrough of the house you can
see a dude's face in the windowand I didn't catch that.
And my boyfriend goes oh shit.
(43:59):
And I'm like what, what?
But I can't wait to finish it.
I think it's going to be good.
I saw something on Redditwithout ruining it for myself
that said that the ending isreally good.
So I hope so, but it got badreviews on Rotten Tomatoes.
But I just watch it anyway.
It's on Tubi, it's for free, soI'm watching it with ads, which
is fine.
But one more movie review andthen I'm done.
We watched Cursed Friendsyesterday and that shit was
(44:22):
ridiculously stupid.
I wish I'm telling you, me andDan should just do a fucking
podcast where we review shit.
It would be dope, it would bereally funny.
We make each other laugh anyway.
So I'm gonna just give you asynopsis of what the movie was
about and we can all slowlygiggle together.
It's called Cursed Friends.
Four childhood friends, now intheir 30s, awaken on Halloween
(44:45):
after a drunken reunion andrealize a future predicting game
of MASH that they played in2002 has become their new
reality.
So this lady who's played byfucking, what is her name now?
God damn it.
I just closed out of it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The cast cursed friends.
Let's see who plays.
So nikki glazer plays is in it.
(45:08):
Kathy griffin plays the ladywho gives them the book.
The mash book by stacyfriendship is what it.
Kathy Griffin plays the ladywho gives them the book.
The mash book by Stacyfriendship is what it's called.
There were so many people in itthat I was like what the fuck?
The Spanish, little Spanish guythat plays Guillermo and what
we do in the shadows, isn't it?
And um, who else?
Isn't it?
Rob Riggle, which, by the way,what a fantastic name.
(45:29):
The way, what a fantastic name,rob Riggle.
Nicole Byer is in it.
Nicole Richie's in it.
Forgot about that.
Joey Fatone being in it was byfar one of the best scenes in
that movie, because Nicole Byerpredicts that she's going to be
a wrestler with really longnails and marries Joey Fatone.
(45:52):
So here's what they did.
They got back together in herhouse that she grew up in and I
forget the chick's name.
God damn it.
I hate not knowing things.
So they all get together.
So it's Jessica Lowe who playsthe main chick, andy, played by
(46:14):
Harvey Guillen, josh is herbrother and Nicole Byers'
character.
All four of them get togetherand they're called the Core
Three, which makes no sensebecause there was four of them.
So they get together and theyrecite the fucking poem in the
front of the book again, whichbasically sets all this in
motion.
They wake up the next day andeverything that they wanted when
(46:35):
they were younger in 2002 comestrue now, in current age.
So if they hadn't done the poem, they would have been fine.
So the funniest part about itwas Joey Fatone being in it,
because he walks into the subshop where Nicole Byers
character is working and it isthe most perverted thing I've
(46:56):
ever seen about an Italiansandwich, an Italian sub, and he
goes.
She goes, he goes.
Is it wet?
I don't know, I don't remember.
She says if I could be orwhatever, it's just so, oh, and
she's like squirting mayoeverywhere.
He's like I'll see you later.
It was the most sexual thingyou could do with a sandwich.
(47:19):
Oh, my God, I was.
So I don't know what'shappening with me, but I get
like so, like my skin hurts.
So watching stuff like that, Iwas even telling Dan and Dan's
like silent but he's probablycackling on mute and I'm like
what the fuck is going on?
This is.
So he goes, I am loving it andhe's like out of breath and
laughing and I'm just like bro,what the fuck are we watching?
(47:42):
This wasn't even like a bangerand this shit turned out.
This is why I watch bullshit.
This is why I watch bullshit.
Watch all the bad things you'renot supposed to watch, because
you get gems like this everyonce in a while.
You get the gems, okay, andthat was a hidden one and I'd
been wanting to watch that for awhile.
I just forgot the name of itand then I found it on Paramount
(48:05):
.
I think it was really funny.
So if you get a chance, it'scalled Cursed Friends.
So the three movies I named, no, apollo 18, missing Couple and
Cursed Friends.
Just watch those.
Those were.
So Apollo 18 was kind of mehbecause we were just pissed off
(48:26):
at all the plot holes in it.
And Missing Couple I'm stillworking through, so I can't tell
you how amazing it's going tobe, but I can't wait to finish
it.
So if I'm excited about it.
It's probably going to be good.
Um, I don't usually tense up inmovies like that, but I also
don't like when people havetheir back to things, like the
guy that's looking for Jana andAustin.
It has his fucking back toeverything, including the front
(48:48):
door, like he sits down in theirkitchen and has his back to a
door.
I currently have my back to adoor, but I'm looking every now
and then.
If I hear something strange,I'm turning around and that's
the other thing.
He's watching video of theirlike video footage by a campfire
.
So you can't hear shit behindyou if you're doing that.
And I kept waiting for fuckinglike eye movements.
(49:10):
I was like, ooh, what was that?
And my boyfriend goes it wasprobably fucking like a
lightning bug, like.
I was like all right, all right, but I'm like trying to see
things, because that's one ofthe things you miss is, if you
don't look at the background,you miss what's going on.
You can't just focus on theperson, because that's how you
get jump scared and I'm alwayslike I'm clocking everything,
clocking, just looking aroundlike hey, what's that?
(49:31):
Hey, what's that, hey, what'sthat, anyway.
So I hope you guys had funlistening.
Sorry that this seemed short,but I'm trying to watch more
movies and stuff.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
What else did I see?
Oh, we watched Novocaine.
One more thing we watchedNovocaine.
Who the hell's coming up withthese things?
Novocaine was ridiculous.
(49:53):
It had um, god damn, I neverremember names anymore.
Novocaine, here it is.
We watched it this past Sundaybecause the boyfriend had to
work on Saturday.
Jack Quaid I never remember hisname, but I know that he's
Dennis Quaid's son.
Dennis Quaid is fine that he'sDennis Quaid's son.
(50:15):
Dennis Quaid is fine.
Jack Quaid is in it.
Didn't realize that JackNicholson's son was in it until
the end, actually, not even tillthe end Yesterday.
It was either yesterday orTuesday that I figured that out.
The guy from Spider-Man, theAsian friend, jacob Batalon Nice
name, betty Gabriel's in it,and she was in.
It wasn't Get Out, was it?
(50:36):
She was?
Oh, fucking shit man.
I don't remember anything foranybody anymore.
She was in, get Out.
Yeah, she was one of the ghostshe kept seeing.
But Novocaine was cool.
Basically, what it is is thisguy has some neurological
disorder where he can't feelanything and he's a assistant
bank manager where there is afucking bank robbery and they
(51:00):
take the girl that he's intothat he finally hooks up with,
but I won't tell you anythingmore than that.
But he gets hurt a lot and theway he gets hurt is really funny
.
Also, if you haven't seen themonkey and you like exaggerated
killings, that's it.
That's a good one, but in anycase.
So that's all I wanted to say.
Novocaine was really good.
(51:20):
So that's four movies Imentioned in this podcast and
that's a lot.
So love you guys so much.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm going to go drink somewater and some more coffee and
that's it.
Love you guys.
Bye, thank you.
happy thursday, peeps .
Here we are again.
Another Thursday, another day,I guess.
Another week of nonsense,another week of you know what's
funny is I haven't had a lot toreport back lately to you guys,
and what's funny is that thisweek I have a whole bunch of
nonsense to say.
But again it still might beanother short episode.
(01:03):
I know one time I was able todo an hour Lately.
It's become less and less.
A couple things to report fromwork should be stupid to tell
you, but I had a meeting with aclient yesterday and this is the
one that's been dicking aroundand not giving me the paperwork
I need and just, you know, lyingon their backs about everything
(01:23):
and just pretending sorry,you're going to hear a lot of
movement here Just pretendingthat they don't know that I've
asked for information severaltimes and it's the same
information every time and theystill pretend like they don't
know that I need this shit.
You know what I mean.
(01:44):
Like they seem to forget thatif you don't give me the
information I need, I can't domy job.
That's the only thing.
So if you hold me up, you'reholding up your entire process,
and I have examples of that forthe rest of the day.
But I'm going to start with thesimple one, which was yesterday
.
This client that's been fuckingwith me.
(02:05):
We finally all got on a meetingand before I get into the
details of the conversation ofthis meeting, I just want to
preface this by saying thatmyself and the project manager
who had issues this is the one Ibeefed with her on saying, with
her saying that I was reallyaggressive to the client, which,
no, my tone is veryprofessional at work.
And also like, if you don'tlike how I'm speaking to
(02:27):
somebody, tell my manager, justlet my manager deal with it.
She's pretty chill, she knowsI'm not an aggressive person and
it's just I don't know she shecan't get with the program or it
was an off day or whatever itwas.
So this is that client.
We fought over that client Notreally fought, but like had a
(02:48):
disagreement, and then she likesmiles in my face like bitch,
you said what you said.
Now you want me to be yourfriend, anyway.
So my manager's been out thisweek.
Haven't really been takingadvantage because there's no
need to.
The workload is still prettyconsistent, still getting
clients assigned to me on aweekly basis.
At one point it was almostevery other day and I was like
(03:09):
what in the fuck's going on?
Like me and this other girl onmy team were like hey, how many
clients do we have together?
Like me and her and I was likeI don't know, it feels like
every other day we're gettingsome bullshit assigned to us.
And she just laughs because sheknows I'm right.
One week we had like fourclients assigned to each other.
It's ridiculous.
So hold on.
(03:32):
Yeah, so this client we had ameeting yesterday and me and the
project manager who beefed, wehad a call.
We had a moment where we werelike I can't get anywhere with
this guy.
His name's Brandon, he's thestage rep Can't get anywhere
with him.
He doesn't volunteerinformation, he's not helpful,
he doesn't assist with anythingand he tries to back out of
(03:55):
things that are actually hisresponsibility.
And it's like it's yourresponsibility to do your job,
like it's my responsibility todo my job.
And you know what's funny, I'mhearing this and I'm having such
a fucking deja vu where I'veprobably mentioned this a
million times on this podcastnow, but it's like I'm not going
to stop because I know what Ineed to do on my end.
Do you know what you need to doon your end.
(04:17):
So I think he got pissed offthat we kind of went over his
head and we're telling hissupervisor that look, listen, in
order for us to do what we needto do on the ADP side, he has
to work with us from the SAGEside.
We can't do both.
So I think he was pissed offabout that.
So he came into the callyesterday guns blazing and he
basically held me hostage for anhour, me and Angie Angie's
(04:39):
awesome.
He held us hostage for an hourin which he kept asking
hypotheticals and Angie and Iare like no, we need something
in black and white.
We don't do hypotheticalsbecause it doesn't work.
We can't just do ifs and maybesand shit and then it just not
be.
And the client is just likesitting in the background doing
nothing, probably picking theirnose or something or like
(05:01):
whatever.
And then of course you knowthey would interject, but
they're talking amongstthemselves.
But it's like okay, bitches,mute yourself.
You guys are in like officesacross the hall from each other
If y'all have something to say,because then he starts getting
mad.
Brandon starts getting pissedoff that these people are
talking while he's trying toconvey something to us.
Like he even got to the pointwhere he said to them okay, guys
(05:21):
, really stop doing that,because you're throwing other
variables at the question.
And my main question hasn'teven been answered yet and I was
like, oh fuck.
I was like this guy's hadenough of this whole shebang.
Okay, this call was supposed tobe 30 minutes or less.
Usually they're less becausehe's never on them.
(05:44):
30 minutes or less Usuallythey're less because he's never
on them.
So, like I said, I got heldhostage for like 45 minutes to
an hour and then had toimmediately run to my next one.
And the worst part is is thatthe project manager, megan,
fucking left.
She left after like 35 minutes.
Like she hit up the chat andwas like sorry, I have to go, I
have another call that I'mrunning late too, and she made
(06:05):
me co-host, so that means I'mstill running the meeting while
she's gone.
So I'm in charge of anythingelse and I'm not a project
manager.
So it's like, bro, you can't dothat.
Okay, you have to like sideping me and let me know you're
doing that.
This is like poor communication.
So I'm fucking sitting there,I'm dealing with these
hypotheticals and he's asking mequestions about like the cost
(06:27):
string numbers, which is howitems get delegated in a general
ledger, is there's a coststring number and it goes to a
specific account, yada, yada,yada.
I won't bore you with thedetails.
So he's asking me and Angie,hypotheticals, and we're like,
well, we're not, I'm not reallyeven sure what you you're
talking about, because what Iwas provided on the template.
And he goes what are you eventalking about a template for?
(06:48):
I'm like, well, I provided atemplate to the client and they
gave me account numbers and hewas like well, what are these
even what are these accountnumbers?
And I wanted to be like bitch,are you fucking kidding?
I sent this template over andyou were supposed to look at
this with Robert, which I wastold a million times you guys
were going to do in your calls,did you or did you not do your
fucking job?
That's what it comes down to.
And I was side pinging Angieand I was like, bro, this guy
(07:11):
has not done anything he said hewas going to do in his emails
and that was clearly evident andI hope it's in the recording.
I even told her I was like I'venever been made to feel so
incompetent in my entire lifeand she was like oh, don't feel
like that.
And I'm like it's not even that, it's like.
You know my brain's not whereit should be.
This conversation went on waytoo long.
(07:31):
He's confusing me with thewording, because his wording is
sage wording, my wording is ADPwording and he knows that.
He acknowledged that.
He's like but I'm not with ADP,I'm with Sage.
So I'm trying to like there'slike a disconnect.
Okay, so we finally got down toit where we started, just
answering him with yes, itshould, it should work that way.
(07:53):
And he was like well, can youconfirm that it will?
And I'm like not, withoutseeing it, no.
So he was like well, we're,what we're trying to do is we're
trying to confirm ADP'scapability?
And me and Angie are like andthat's fine, but you're not
really giving us anythingconcrete to work with.
So once we have concreteinformation in front of us, we
can surely give you an answer.
I even told him at one point.
(08:14):
I was like can I research thisand circle back with you on it?
And he was like like he didn'tknow what to do with that answer
.
And I'm like but, bro, you'vebeen jumping down our fucking
throat this whole time, so whenI give you an answer.
That's not straightforward.
Now you're going to get upsetand confused, bitch.
You know what I said.
What I said is I don't knowright now that's what that
answer is.
(08:34):
I have your email, I'll reachout to you and of course you
know, um, towards the end of it,when we finally got to an
answer, you know the client thenjumps in and is like well, we
don't really need any of that.
Like he made a big stink.
He put in a whole show foreverybody because he got
probably butt hurt.
That me and Megan were likehe's not helpful.
(08:56):
He's never on any of the callswith us.
He's never da da, da, da da.
It's not that he's never, hejust doesn't volunteer to do
anything.
So it's like we can't doanything without you, bud.
We're supposed to work togetherLike nevermind the client.
The client gives me theinformation, that's fine.
But if Sage and ADP aresupposed to talk to each other,
everything's supposed to lookthe same Okay, and if it doesn't
(09:17):
, it's not going to work.
So if you're not activelycommunicating with us and I've
been trying to reach out to youto get you to help me and you
don't answer, what do you think?
That means the project doesn'tget done Timely, by the way,
because these clients are goinglive in April and we are almost
done with March.
So if we could figure out ourfucking lives, our horoscopes,
(09:37):
whatever you have to get yourchakras aligned, whatever you
have to do to make this projectgo on time, do it, motherfucker,
because I'm not going to sitthrough another 45-minute
meeting with you for you to tryand fucking bash me in my role,
even after the client interjectsand finally says, hey, we don't
need this.
Like I was laughing becauseAngie goes yeah, why did the
(10:00):
client wait till now to just saysomething?
Let me see, she said everyclient's a learning opportunity.
She made me feel so much betterabout what was happening
yesterday Cause I was like bro,I feel so overwhelmed with
everything he's saying to me.
Let's see, why does he not knowwhat what the need is?
This is his role with them, notwith us.
Tell us what you need and thenwe can speak to it.
(10:22):
That's what I'm saying.
That was the thing yesterday.
He's giving us like thesehypothetical shits, like don't
you know what the client needs?
Haven't you sat with them?
That's all you have done is satwith them, not us, and she's
like she was like hishypothetical is going to
convolute this.
Tell him to ask it again.
And I was like can you repeatthat?
Let me see?
I even asked her.
(10:43):
I was like wasn't he supposed toreview the GL analysis template
with the client?
That's why I sent it.
And she was right thishypothetical does not work for
us, I said that's why I wasconfused as to what his
confusion was.
He's supposed to have all theseaccount numbers and everything
all together.
Like I sent cop, like he had.
He should have access to itbecause Robert has access to it.
And Robert is like the head toit because Robert has access to
(11:07):
it.
And Robert is like the headperson in charge okay, the head
bitch in charge, and heapparently has been left in the
dark about everything.
And I've given everybody accessto every document they're
supposed to have access to.
That has to do with GeneralLedger, anyway.
So that was the thing that mademe mad is that the client
should be involved.
And just because Brandonvolunteered saying that he was
going to be the voice for theclient, that doesn't mean he's
the voice for the client oneverything.
Because towards the end of themeeting the client was like,
(11:30):
yeah, we don't need all thatextra shit.
And I was like, oh my God, wereally just sat through this for
an hour for this guy to be afucking drama queen and yes, I
mean drama queen.
So cancel or not, let me see.
Yes, that was pretty much itLike the client just sat back
again flicking boogers orwhatever, and me and this
(11:54):
fucking guy, me Angie and thisfucking guy are going at it
while they just sit there instunned silence.
And I need to talk to Meganabout this.
Megan is out today, so when shecomes back I'm gonna be like
hey, bruh, what is this?
A status call?
Good, they moved it.
What's this?
Thursday, march 27th?
That's better.
(12:14):
Someone scheduled a fuckingcall at 4.30 and I'm like I
leave at 4.30.
So give me some notes, I guess,because I'm not staying an
extra half an hour, because youguys don't know how to schedule
things, like look at everybody'sschedule and confirm Okay.
(12:35):
So I finally.
So my complaints, which was liketwo days ago, um, was that my
desk was supposed to bedelivered.
My standing desk, it's like um,it's one of the things you see
on TikTok a lot.
It's uh, it's an over the beddesk, like you just swing the
legs underneath it and you canwork from your bed or whatever's
comfortable, your couch,whatever.
It also stands up so I can gopretty high with it.
I was in the kitchen thismorning making my breakfast,
(12:56):
cleaning up and whatnot, likeputting away dishes and whatnot.
This thing is fucking perfect.
This thing has me on lazy inbed for sure.
Tomorrow anyway, if I didn'thave to record the podcast today
, I would definitely still be inbed with my cup of coffee.
But here we are and I don'tfeel bad because I feel good.
I feel energetic today, soprobably going to bust through
(13:17):
some video games in a little bit.
My next meeting is at 12.
But let me see, is it important?
I don't even know if we'regoing to keep it, because the
client has not reached back outto me as to whether or not they
have done anything with thetemplate I sent them last week.
Like I sent the template on the11th, which isn't even last
week, is it?
What the fuck was the firstLast Tuesday?
(13:39):
That's what it was.
Okay.
So last Tuesday I sent them thetemplate and I don't know
what's going on with theseclients, that it takes them
forever to get something done.
But it's just significantly wayworse for me to get my shit
done if they don't do it.
This is see.
This is why I keep repeatingthis shit.
I'm quick about mine, okay.
(13:59):
So when you give me somethingto do and it has to not that it
has to be done ASAP, it justneeds to be done timely,
efficiently, good, the firsttime around I don't have a
problem with doing my job.
Do yours.
I'm asking you to do one thing.
You've had this template over aweek now.
You also have not answered meas to whether or not you were
(14:20):
able to access it.
If there's any issues with thetemplate, nothing.
I've heard, absolutely nothing.
So hopefully this 12 o'clockgets canceled, because this 12
o'clock isn't really with theclient.
It's really with Points North,which is their third party,
which is another ledger they'reusing, which, I was told, isn't
really a thing.
That's like two ledgers for noreason.
(14:42):
I was told that ADP should justbe the only one.
But Fuck it, none of mybusiness, I don't work for them.
The other part of it is that Ilike megan.
She's good backup, she's tough,okay.
So I think she and I have anunderstanding of how each other
works now.
Um, but it's just so funnybecause it's like she came over
(15:05):
to me after the meeting we hadlast week and she goes.
So what are we doing?
I was like it sounds like wejust proceed as usual.
I send them the template forthem to complete and I wait for
this guy to send me whateverhe's going to send me from
points North that he needs to dohis mapping.
So I actually did some researchon this and this is interesting
because I'm very havingtransitioned from Upmarket to
(15:28):
this a lot of research isinvolved.
When you do customer service forthat company, for this company,
what you do is there's a wholelike Wikidocs thing for those
employees, for employees thatwork for ADP, and you use it
like it's Wikipedia.
You search for the thing you'relooking for.
It's in one centralizedlocation and that's it.
(15:51):
It's all the information youneed to answer.
Your question is right there,but you have to know the right
keywords.
That's the problem.
Less is more, so, um, a lot ofresearch goes into it.
You have to play a lot ofdetective work.
You have to like get your handsdirty and figure out what's
going on.
I know what I'm looking forwhen things happen, so I think
(16:13):
I'm probably what I was told inthe interview is that I'm a
really good fit for the rolebecause I know from a payroll
service perspective which iswhat they call what I did before
, from the service side of thisto now being implementation,
which puts things together andbuilds it that I know what I'm
asking for, what I'm looking forNot true?
(16:36):
Not true at all.
There's a different process tothings, but it's basically
almost the same.
So if someone gives me aquestion and it's not GL related
, I'm always like tempted toanswer the question.
Now, when it comes to gettinginformation, two points north,
(16:56):
this is where I was going withthis.
This client, this third party,was asking for information and I
was like well, how am Isupposed to come about this?
So I did some research inanother program that we use to
communicate with new clients andthere's a document in there
that has their general ledgersummary up till like February
(17:16):
15th.
Some of it is line by line,some of it is a summary, like
the last 10 pages were summary.
So of course, I go to Megan andI'm like all right, what should
we do?
Because they're getting alittle stupid and impatient in
my inbox and I kept telling her.
I'm like did you see his lastresponse, because sometimes they
put stank on it for whateverreason, because they think
that's going to frighten me.
(17:37):
And everybody who's listened tothis knows that I'm not afraid
to deal with stupid ass clients.
So, um, sorry about that.
So he, uh, so he's asking forinformation.
(18:00):
He's asked, he sent me aspreadsheet and he goes hey, I
need this separated out by this,this and this, like there's
columns of shit he's looking for.
So I told Megan I'm like listen,okay, um, I really don't know
if I should be putting thistogether because I don't know
exactly what they're looking for, or should I give them the
option to do it themselves andgive them the data they're
looking for?
(18:20):
And she was like well, I'll letyou respond to the email, um,
cause I'm a little tied up.
And she goes and you decide howyou want to move forward.
So I said okay.
So I basically emailed theclient and was like uh, I
emailed the third point.
The third point the third partycompany points North and was
(18:41):
like hey, so I have what you'relooking for, but if I'm to do
this spreadsheet it might takesome time, whereas I can just
send you the data in a PDF andyou guys can pick it apart
willy-nilly, and they chose tonot answer me Friday.
And they answered me Mondaysaying that they would prefer me
(19:05):
to send over the data.
And I was like, exactly becauseI don't work for you guys and I
don't know what you're lookingfor.
So, yes, a good call there.
So that was good.
I have my good buddy, mary,bothering me about some shit.
Yesterday, even though I toldher how to do everything, she
doesn't listen or, you know,doesn't take notes or anything
(19:28):
like that, because I've shownher how to do the things she's
asking to do.
So now I have to get on a callwith her today and her questions
don't make sense to me.
So that'll be fun at oneo'clock to fuck around with this
lady for an hour.
In any case, some other thingshave come up in the news.
Tracy Morgan delayed an NBAgame by throwing up on in court
(19:50):
side seats.
I'm like bro in courtside seats.
I'm like bro, keep it together,bitch, let's look this up,
tracy Morgan.
Vomit, vomit, vomit.
Nicks is the craziest thing tocome up as a first Google search
.
Let's see, stop, that's crazy.
So on ESPN, let's just go rightto some sports shit.
(20:13):
That's crazy.
So on ESPN, let's just go rightto some sports shit.
Tracy Morgan says food poisoningwas to blame for his taking ill
during Monday's Heat-Knicksgame at Madison Square Garden
and that he's doing okay.
Bro, this picture is phenomenal.
The actor-comedian posted anupdate on Instagram on Tuesday
morning, along with a smilingphoto from a hospital bed,
thanking fans for their concern.
Morgan also suggestedhumorously that perhaps his
(20:36):
health episode spelled good luckfor the Knicks.
Throwing up all over thebasketball court is good luck.
I don't think so.
Let's see.
Thank you all for your concern.
This is from the post itself.
Thank you all for your concern.
I'm doing okay now and doctorssay it was food poisoning.
Appreciate my MSG family fortaking such good care of me and
I need to shout out the crewthat had to clean that up.
(20:56):
Bro, the picture of himthrowing up is just a fucking
stream of vomit.
He said appreciate you.
More importantly, the Knicksare now 1-0 when I throw up on
the court, so maybe I'll have tobreak it out again in the
playoffs.
It's fucking nasty Hashtag goKnicks.
I'm doing okay now and doctorssay blah, blah, blah, yep.
Morgan vomited in the secondhalf of Monday night's
(21:19):
Heat-Knicks game, interruptingthe action at Madison Square
Garden with six minutes and nineseconds left in the third
quarter while workers cleaned upthe area around his seat.
The delay lasted more than 10minutes.
The Knicks went on to win116-95.
All right, more than 10 minutes.
The Knicks went on to win116-95.
Longtime Knicks fan, morgan 56,was featured prominently during
(21:41):
the Saturday Night Live 50thanniversary weekend events at
both the SNL 50 Homecomingconcert and the live SNL 50
anniversary celebration special.
He also has an upcominguntitled comedy pilot on NBC
opposite Daniel Radcliffe, inwhich he plays a disgraced
former football player lookingto remake his image.
He struggled with health issuesin the past, including a 2010
kidney transplant and atraumatic brain injury from a
2014 accident with a tractortrailer that put him in a coma.
(22:03):
He's got too much stuff goingon and the fact that the stream
of vomit is insane and someonecaught it and it just looks like
it went everywhere.
Caught it and it just lookslike it went everywhere.
I just like how someone threwthe vomit emoji next to Tracy
Morgan shit.
Like we know he threw up bruh.
We know he threw up.
Hold on a second, let me see.
(22:24):
Had some orders order passedoff to you?
I don't, james.
I'm not really in the mood.
I'm not really interested atall.
Uh, jonathan majors and Megangood got married.
Um, I know, we all know that hedoesn't seem like a good guy.
Um, let me see Jonathan majorsassault oh, I can't spell his
(22:51):
name.
That's cool, let's see.
So here's the first thing, bro.
Hold on, hold on.
That's so crazy.
So stop.
I don't want this shit.
Jonathan Majors reportedlyadmits to assaulting ex Grace
Jabari and resurfaced audio.
First of all, there was videoof it happening, so we don't
(23:13):
need your audio for that.
So let's see.
Jonathan Major's tumultuousrelationship with Grace Jabari
is back in the spotlight, as aresurfaced audio clip seemingly
shows the former Marvel starconfessing to assaulting his ex
yeah, former Marvel star becauseof this.
In the newly released audioclip obtained by Rolling Stone
(23:34):
and published on Monday, majorsreportedly can be heard
admitting to strangling Jabariand pushing her against the car
during a conversation with aBritish dancer and movement
coach.
Majors was convicted in late2023 for attacking Jabari in a
different incident during a carride in Manhattan, which is a
video I saw Per Rolling Stone.
The couple's conversation wascaptured in the aftermath of a
(23:57):
days-long fight between Majorsand his then-girlfriend.
The release of the audio comesjust days before the
much-anticipated premiere ofMajors' film magazine Dreams his
(24:17):
assault.
I'm ashamed.
I've ever Okay, I've never beenaggressive with a woman before.
I've never aggressed a woman.
I aggressed you.
Stop just saying words.
Following his March 2023 arrestover domestic violence
altercation, majors faced eightmisdemeanor counts at trial
involving assault, aggravatedharassment and harassment.
(24:39):
At the time, jabari alleged hestruck her in the head with his
open hand, twisted her armbehind her back and squeezed her
middle finger until itfractured.
You strangled me and pushed meagainst the car.
Jabari says to Majors in theclip, to which Majors replies
yes, all those things areunder-aggressed.
Yeah, that's never happened tome.
What the fuck does that mean?
(25:01):
Jabari later probes Majors foran explanation for the assault,
asking the Ant-Man and the WaspQuantumania star if he attacked
her because she said somethingsarcastically in your eyes.
In response, majors says well,clearly it's more than that.
Okay, go on.
We're missing some story here,something inside of you.
(25:22):
Jabari says as a follow-up.
Major's reply yeah, towards you.
What the fuck is happening withthis conversation?
Am I in a fucking call, like ateam's call that's just breaking
up because there's no reception?
What the fuck is happening with?
Release the clip, for fuck'ssake, because reading it feels
like I'm going to have a stroke.
I don't know what any of thatmeans.
I don't know what it translatesto.
(25:43):
Bitches are crazy.
That's all I'm going to say.
Bitches and that homie is crazy, anyway.
So I also saw that they finallygot these fucking people out of
space.
I think I talked about this acouple episodes ago.
They finally got them out ofspace.
They spent nine months.
Nine months in space yeah, myallergies are kicking bruh.
(26:05):
Before and after photos ofstranded astronauts back on
Earth reveal shocking impact ofbeing stuck in space for nine
months.
That's so crazy.
After a grueling nine months inspace, it might not come as a
surprise that the NASAastronauts that were stuck in
orbit look a bit different.
Yeah, they look like they're 90.
Yeah, they look like they're 90.
(26:27):
On Tuesday, march 18th,astronauts Barry Butch Wilmore
and Sunita Suni Williams werebrought back home to Earth
aboard the SpaceX Dragonspacecraft after being stranded
on the International SpaceStation since June of last year.
Again, would rather pass away.
Also saw a movie we're going todiscuss in a second.
Being away from home for solong is bound to have an adverse
effect on their health, whichNASA is clearly aware of, as we
(26:50):
saw the team taken away onstretchers before they could
even take a single step on landafter their splash landing off
the Gulf Coast near Tallahassee.
Brett, they look good here.
Let's see how they look on theway out.
Yet aside from breathing actualoxygen from the air, wilmore and
Williams are also feelinggravity against their bones for
the first time in nine months,which comes with a long list of
(27:10):
potential health worries.
In itself, issues range fromchicken legs and baby feet to an
increased risk of cancer, asper the Daily Mail, with the
astronauts not quite out of thewoods yet from health
complications.
Now they are on home soil.
While the pair are enduring aseries of medical tests at
NASA's Johnson Space Center inHouston, some experts warn there
are already some telltale signsthat indicate a possible
(27:32):
decline in their health.
Some onlookers claimed beforeand after photographs of Wilmore
and Williams appeared to showthem as gaunt and having perhaps
lost weight.
Perhaps, perhaps Williamscouldn't walk when she came out
of the spacecraft.
Insane, she looks 90.
Under the surface, experts saythey could have a buildup of
(27:53):
fluids in their head due topressure on their eyes and
optical nerves which couldaffect their appearance.
There's even a term for thisSpace flight associated
neuroocular syndrome, sans,which is responsible for
swelling in the optic nerve andcausing blurry or fuzzy vision.
While many astronauts' eyesreturn to normal when they come
to Earth, nasa says some sideeffects.
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
(28:14):
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
Bitch, get this ad out of myway.
Jesus Christ, hold on, wherewas I now, bitch?
Okay, now they got me fucked up.
While many astronauts' eyesreturn to normal when they come
to Earth, nasa says some sideeffects could be permanent and
(28:34):
depends on how long the team canremain in space, which is
concerning for the pair giventheir extended mission.
As for their cognitivefunctions, the changing
pressures in the brain, coupledwith stress and lack of sleep,
could lead to decline, as seenbefore in some astronauts.
You know fucking shit, butmicrogravity presents the
largest risk to the pair, as,without the Earth's pull,
astronauts' muscles weaken overtime and can mean they struggle
(28:55):
to maintain a healthy weight.
This also explains why the pairwere unable to walk when they
first landed on Earth.
Despite their intense exerciseregime and high-calorie diet
aboard the ISS, they can stillsuffer from muscle atrophy,
which could also be contributingtowards their frail appearance.
Towards their frail appearance.
Then there's also SVTspaceflight venous thrombosis,
(29:16):
which involves an upward fluidshift and can make the face look
puffy, which is propelled byessentially hanging upside down
Insane.
Unfortunately.
Nasa says most astronautsreturn to their pre-mission
fitness levels after 45 days,though in severe cases it can
take months or even a year torecover.
Retired British astronaut TimPeake said on Radio X for me
going into space was no problemat all, but for the first two
(29:37):
days on Earth I felt prettyrough.
I think Butch and Suni will befeeling a bit rough right now.
You know, the whole body isjust getting used to gravity.
The vestibular system's a bitmessed up.
You feel dizzy, a bit nauseous.
So it'll take them a couple ofdays to get over that Couple of
days.
(29:57):
Couple of days to get over that.
A couple of days.
A couple of days is crazy,crazy.
Ad blockers fucking the amountof ads, bro.
That just like realign me onthis page is stupid, but that's
crazy.
Sucks, would never go to space.
And that segues into anotherperfect thing that happened.
So yesterday, myself andDaniel-san over there, we
(30:18):
watched fucking Apollo 18, amovie from 2011, which is a
found footage, and Mike Flanagansaid that this was a pretty
creepy movie, okay.
And then I found another onethat me and the boyfriend are
watching, but it's it's calledhashtag missing couple.
But we'll get into that in asecond.
So this movie had two I can'teven hold on Apollo 17.
(30:41):
Here we go.
Was the last us sponsored lunarvoyage or was it?
Hours of found footageclassified for decades point to
a subsequent moon mission,apollo 18.
That ended very badly, badly.
Astronauts John Gray and NathanWalker and Benjamin Anderson, on
a mission to install radarscanners, discover a Soviet
space capsule nearby.
The men also discover a deadcosmonaut and, unfortunately for
(31:04):
them, learn how he died.
It's aliens.
It's aliens.
Spoiler alert, as if anyoneneeded that.
Now, whenever we go to space,what's the actual problem?
Aliens, bitch Aliens, aliens,aliens.
Okay, you don't need to guess.
You're like, oh, what couldhave happened?
Like you, look at this fucking.
(31:24):
First of all, if you look atthe fucking movie poster, it's
someone getting dragged away bywhat, or it's someone getting
dragged away by what, aliens?
So one guy gets infected,brings it aboard, starts getting
crazy, then the thing getsloose in the fucking ship,
compromising the unit, and then,of course, you know, the guy
(31:49):
thinks he's going to save thisother dude.
Meanwhile, me and Dan areyelling at the screen like just
poking holes in everything.
Because, to be honest with you,the first question I ask is how
the fuck did it get in his suitif it didn't puncture anything?
Because if his suit ispunctured, he really shouldn't
(32:11):
be going out in space.
Yeah, yes, I'm working tomorrow.
Fucking James, bro, leave mealone, bro.
Um, just got asked if I'mworking tomorrow.
It's fucking Friday, isn't it?
What's happening tomorrow thatI shouldn't be working?
Um, so, yeah, so the guy thinksthat he's going to be goody.
Two shoes and I'm gonna saveyou, bro, we're going to go home
(32:31):
.
We're going to go home.
He's like nah, you got to leaveme shoes and I'm going to save
you, bro, we're going to go home.
We're going to go home.
He's like now, you got to leaveme here, I'm going to die.
Like you can see, like hetransforms instantly from a
human looking person to someonethat's maybe smoked too much
weed in their lifetime.
That's what you see.
His eyes go crazy bloodshot.
His pupils are super dilated,like it just looks insane.
(32:56):
I'm not saving you, okay, the?
When I tell you that if someone, if I go to space which is
never going to happen becauseI've common sense.
If I go to space and Dan iswith me and this happens to Dan,
dan dies.
He gets left out in space untilhe just does that walk like in
kill bill.
When she does that five pointstunner heart shit to him at the
end he takes like five paces orthree paces, however many it is
, and his heart explodes in hischest.
(33:18):
I'm watching Dan do that inspace On the moon it looked like
I'm watching him do it.
And if I was to ever come off myship that I'm on and see
footsteps that are not mine andsee footsteps that are not mine,
I need to be like Houston.
We have a larger than lifeproblem, okay.
We have the Jolly Green Giantsdick size of an issue, okay.
(33:41):
And you need to get me now.
I need to be lifted off thisbitch.
Someone come get me.
Like I'm not doing it, I'm notgetting stuck out here, I'm not
hanging out with this homie inhere.
Well, homie is going to be deadoutside, so it won't matter.
So my thing is is they went andexplored way too much for
people who have seen way toomuch on that planet.
Okay, you're going to have toget me out.
(34:03):
Just get me out.
I'm not dealing with any of it.
Like I said, smart people don'tgo to space, or the smartest
people do think they'll surviveit, and just this shit happens.
But I think I'm a big fan offound footage shit.
I like it because there's adifferent kind of intrigue there
(34:25):
.
Like I know, blair Witch wasone thing, but I didn't fall
into that craze Like I probablyshould watch it because it was
iconic for its time and peoplestill talk about it and there's
even a game about it.
That kind of made me weak, butI never fell into.
Oh, I need to see Blair Witch.
But that brings me to my nextpoint, which is there's this
(34:46):
movie called Hashtag MissingCouple and it's about a couple,
man, man and wife, who are bothinfluencers and they go off,
they, they decide to hunker downin an actual cabin in
Mississippi, no less.
So I was poking fun at theboyfriend last night about that.
Um, because that's where hisyou know, I guess his parents,
(35:10):
dad lives over there, whatever.
Uh, he's got family over there,I think.
You know what, I don't evenknow, because as much as we say,
hey, you're gonna go back toMississippi or homeland, and
he's like, no, no, I grew up inPine Hills, florida and I'm like
, okay, well, you know what,pick something, bruh or lose the
accent.
Are you faking this?
Is this accent fake?
Is this how you tried to get me?
(35:31):
You got me already.
You can pull it off, stop,anyway.
So they go to, they buy thislike rundown looking place that
they plan on fixing up, and then, like a whole bunch of weird
shit starts happening.
But you don't see it at first.
So we, uh, we see this coupleand they're living their lives
whatever.
(35:51):
They give us like 10 minutes offootage of them.
You know they lived van life sothey could travel and fund
their lifestyle and all thatshit and they kept posting
whatever, whatever.
Then they finally, I guess, gotenough money to buy a house.
So they buy this broken downshit they're going to fix.
Then it cuts out and it goes umat found people something.
Hold on, I got a fucking.
I'm sorry, I'm all over theplace with this.
(36:12):
Give me one second Missingcouple.
Here it is.
So it says at Austin and Jana,that's their TikTok.
And what's funny is things likethis you know symbols and shit
now and they blur them outanyway.
So that's what I always thoughtwas funny.
This didn't get good reviews,but I watched bullshit anyway.
(36:34):
Austin at Austin and Jana werea real life, hashtag van life
couple on an adventure torenovate an abandoned farm in
the middle of nowhere inMississippi, cameras blazing.
They chronicled their projecton social media, but the farm
was full of disturbing surprises, especially at night, someone
or something was stalking thecouple.
So this guy comes and he'sfriends with them.
(37:01):
Everybody's fucking making athing out of it.
It's crazy.
This guy who's supposedlyfriends with them Apparently.
I said there's a great ending,so I can't wait.
So this guy who finds peoplethat's what he does has his own
page and he said it says rightafter they show them smiling and
(37:23):
whatever it says.
Immediately afterwards, uh,austin and janna went dark on
social media and I was like,holy shit, babe, this starts off
fast, huh.
And it's the I think it's afound people report or some shit
.
That's the guy that goeslooking for them.
And it's one dude by himselfwho said hey, if anybody is
interested in helping me findthese people and is serious
(37:45):
about it, I will DM you theaddress and you can come help me
figure this out.
But he goes by himself and I'mlike does anyone have a weapon
in this shit?
Austin and Jana didn't,apparently, because they went
dark on social media.
Then this fucking guy shows up,doesn't have a gun, but at
least Austin and Jana had a dog,so what happens to the dog?
Okay, the way that angles areshot in this shit makes me so,
(38:09):
it makes me angry.
But it's also like, bro, youare out in wilderness, look
behind you a little bit.
Okay, and I know you're doingit on purpose and you're not
looking behind you, but lookbehind you anyway.
Um, my grandma saying goodmorning.
Anyway, uh, my cousin Nikki ishaving some issues.
She's in the hospital right now, uh, for a carotid dissection.
(38:30):
So good vibes everybody.
So, yeah, so this guy goes sofar.
We've watched maybe half of itbefore we passed out yesterday.
And this guy goes, he uses adrone to scan the property.
It's a lot of acreage.
They have their own little lake, which they keep calling a pond
, which I need to know.
(38:51):
What quantifies a pond versus alake, because that shit is huge
to be a pond.
A pond is like something Ithink that's in.
You know those koi ponds yousee in front of, like hibachi
places.
They're small.
What I'm seeing as what thisbitch keeps referring to as a
pond is not a pond.
That shit could be an ocean ifit wanted to.
That's how big it is.
It's not because no ships, butlike it's too big to be
(39:15):
considered a damn pond.
Okay, they show them swimmingin it too, and something grabs
the dude and we're like, whatthe fuck?
What would have grabbed him atthe bottom?
An octopus?
I'm stupid.
Uh, the other thing, um, oh, myGod.
So the guy is by himself.
He does the drone footage.
They see everything.
(39:35):
And he goes oh, there's theircar.
It doesn't look like there'sbeen any human activity in a
while.
Let's go take a look.
This man leaves his car at thegate and walks down this long
ass probably mile long drivewayto get to the house.
Finally, and I'm like, bro,take the car.
Why would you leave the carthere?
You just droned over thisentire fucking property and you
(39:59):
know it's a long walk.
What are you doing?
This is why I can't watch these.
So he gets to the house, thefront doors unlocked, which the
hell no, and he starts walkingaround.
He's like, oh, a little bit ofdirt here, like a thin layer of
dirt right here, and we're likeokay, bro, stop cleaning, stop
cleaning and get to it.
He just like walks around thehouse, he looks for anything he
(40:21):
could find.
He actually found, walking upto the house, he found Jana's
iPhone, and this is why I laugh.
It's because they blurred outthe Apple symbol when he finally
was able to get a charge on it.
Like we don't know it's aniPhone.
I'm like what are y'all doing?
Do you just stop?
Like it's so obvious it's aniPhone.
What are you blurring it out?
For what?
Only Apple phones turn on thisway anyway.
(40:44):
So he plugged it in, he got acharge on it.
He starts watching footage.
But this man does not set upshop in the house.
He sets up a tent away from thehouse, a tent, not even
anything to defend himself with.
Like this is like after he'smoved his car off the road and
all this shit.
So he parked, finally in thedriveway, near the house, I
think.
But he was like, let me move mycar away, but that's not the
(41:07):
problem.
So he, he sets up a tent, okay,and like, you set up a tent, he
sets up a fire outside the tentand he's sitting there and he's
watching some of the footagewith his back to nature.
I was like, bro, your back isto the fucking galaxy.
Okay, bro, um, what are youdoing?
(41:29):
Anybody could run up on you atthis point.
We've seen some more footage ofyou know, austin and Jana
getting um accommodated to thehouse.
They start gardening, like theydo, start doing cute shit that
you would do when you first geta house like that, starting to
fix everything up.
The only thing that bothers meis they didn't get any curtains
so like everybody can see intothe house.
So that's fucking weird.
(41:51):
That'd be the first thing I get.
Like even when I movedapartments I was like, okay,
does this one have blinds too?
And it does.
But also I need curtainsbecause the way the sun beams on
my bedroom it looks like I'msleeping on the sun.
So I've even showed pictures tomy mom and she goes do you have
lights on in there?
I'm like, nope, that's justsunlight and I have curtains up
(42:12):
in there.
That's funny.
So she gave me curtains that Ihave yet to put up and I've had
them, I think, for three weeksnow.
I think that's when I saw mygrandmother last, because we all
met up there, yeah, so that'swhat we've seen so far.
(42:34):
The guy was using their trailcameras.
He set up some dog treats tosee if anything comes by.
We got to a part where thehusband Austin because it
flashes back and forth, so itgoes to current time where
someone is looking for them, andthen, previous to that, which
is, you know, flashing back tothe footage of the couples taken
of the house so far.
So they, um, he said, oh, mywife's out on a run, he's like
(42:54):
janna's out on a run right now,and I just want to take a look
at the cameras, because thecameras, the trail cameras, were
set up by austin and janna.
So he goes, so he's looking atthe footage and everything and
he sees nothing.
On the trail he saw a coupledeer.
He said two of them ran off,whatever.
And then, um, he looks at theone that's pointed towards the
house and there's like a darkfucking figure walking toward
(43:14):
the house and earlier in one ofthe previous videos that the
dude that's looking for themfound, the bitch said she
couldn't find her toothbrush.
Where did the guy take hertoothbrush?
I'm like uh-uh, if I know mytoothbrush is in the bathroom
and I never move it from therebecause where am I going?
I'm leaving A random thing likea toothbrush being missing is
(43:38):
insane to me.
And you have all those doorsthat have deadbolts on them.
Which one is unlocked, bitch?
Anyway, the guy who's lookingfor them even points out.
In the first preliminarywalkthrough of the house you can
see a dude's face in the windowand I didn't catch that.
And my boyfriend goes oh shit.
(43:59):
And I'm like what, what?
But I can't wait to finish it.
I think it's going to be good.
I saw something on Redditwithout ruining it for myself
that said that the ending isreally good.
So I hope so, but it got badreviews on Rotten Tomatoes.
But I just watch it anyway.
It's on Tubi, it's for free, soI'm watching it with ads, which
is fine.
But one more movie review andthen I'm done.
We watched Cursed Friendsyesterday and that shit was
(44:22):
ridiculously stupid.
I wish I'm telling you, me andDan should just do a fucking
podcast where we review shit.
It would be dope, it would bereally funny.
We make each other laugh anyway.
So I'm gonna just give you asynopsis of what the movie was
about and we can all slowlygiggle together.
It's called Cursed Friends.
Four childhood friends, now intheir 30s, awaken on Halloween
(44:45):
after a drunken reunion andrealize a future predicting game
of MASH that they played in2002 has become their new
reality.
So this lady who's played byfucking, what is her name now?
God damn it.
I just closed out of it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The cast cursed friends.
Let's see who plays.
So nikki glazer plays is in it.
(45:08):
Kathy griffin plays the ladywho gives them the book.
The mash book by stacyfriendship is what it.
Kathy Griffin plays the ladywho gives them the book.
The mash book by Stacyfriendship is what it's called.
There were so many people in itthat I was like what the fuck?
The Spanish, little Spanish guythat plays Guillermo and what
we do in the shadows, isn't it?
And um, who else?
Isn't it?
Rob Riggle, which, by the way,what a fantastic name.
(45:29):
The way, what a fantastic name,rob Riggle.
Nicole Byer is in it.
Nicole Richie's in it.
Forgot about that.
Joey Fatone being in it was byfar one of the best scenes in
that movie, because Nicole Byerpredicts that she's going to be
a wrestler with really longnails and marries Joey Fatone.
(45:52):
So here's what they did.
They got back together in herhouse that she grew up in and I
forget the chick's name.
God damn it.
I hate not knowing things.
So they all get together.
So it's Jessica Lowe who playsthe main chick, andy, played by
(46:14):
Harvey Guillen, josh is herbrother and Nicole Byers'
character.
All four of them get togetherand they're called the Core
Three, which makes no sensebecause there was four of them.
So they get together and theyrecite the fucking poem in the
front of the book again, whichbasically sets all this in
motion.
They wake up the next day andeverything that they wanted when
(46:35):
they were younger in 2002 comestrue now, in current age.
So if they hadn't done the poem, they would have been fine.
So the funniest part about itwas Joey Fatone being in it,
because he walks into the subshop where Nicole Byers
character is working and it isthe most perverted thing I've
(46:56):
ever seen about an Italiansandwich, an Italian sub, and he
goes.
She goes, he goes.
Is it wet?
I don't know, I don't remember.
She says if I could be orwhatever, it's just so, oh, and
she's like squirting mayoeverywhere.
He's like I'll see you later.
It was the most sexual thingyou could do with a sandwich.
(47:19):
Oh, my God, I was.
So I don't know what'shappening with me, but I get
like so, like my skin hurts.
So watching stuff like that, Iwas even telling Dan and Dan's
like silent but he's probablycackling on mute and I'm like
what the fuck is going on?
This is.
So he goes, I am loving it andhe's like out of breath and
laughing and I'm just like bro,what the fuck are we watching?
(47:42):
This wasn't even like a bangerand this shit turned out.
This is why I watch bullshit.
This is why I watch bullshit.
Watch all the bad things you'renot supposed to watch, because
you get gems like this everyonce in a while.
You get the gems, okay, andthat was a hidden one and I'd
been wanting to watch that for awhile.
I just forgot the name of itand then I found it on Paramount
(48:05):
.
I think it was really funny.
So if you get a chance, it'scalled Cursed Friends.
So the three movies I named, no, apollo 18, missing Couple and
Cursed Friends.
Just watch those.
Those were.
So Apollo 18 was kind of mehbecause we were just pissed off
(48:26):
at all the plot holes in it.
And Missing Couple I'm stillworking through, so I can't tell
you how amazing it's going tobe, but I can't wait to finish
it.
So if I'm excited about it.
It's probably going to be good.
Um, I don't usually tense up inmovies like that, but I also
don't like when people havetheir back to things, like the
guy that's looking for Jana andAustin.
It has his fucking back toeverything, including the front
(48:48):
door, like he sits down in theirkitchen and has his back to a
door.
I currently have my back to adoor, but I'm looking every now
and then.
If I hear something strange,I'm turning around and that's
the other thing.
He's watching video of theirlike video footage by a campfire
.
So you can't hear shit behindyou if you're doing that.
And I kept waiting for fuckinglike eye movements.
(49:10):
I was like, ooh, what was that?
And my boyfriend goes it wasprobably fucking like a
lightning bug, like.
I was like all right, all right, but I'm like trying to see
things, because that's one ofthe things you miss is, if you
don't look at the background,you miss what's going on.
You can't just focus on theperson, because that's how you
get jump scared and I'm alwayslike I'm clocking everything,
clocking, just looking aroundlike hey, what's that?
(49:31):
Hey, what's that, hey, what'sthat, anyway.
So I hope you guys had funlistening.
Sorry that this seemed short,but I'm trying to watch more
movies and stuff.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
What else did I see?
Oh, we watched Novocaine.
One more thing we watchedNovocaine.
Who the hell's coming up withthese things?
Novocaine was ridiculous.
(49:53):
It had um, god damn, I neverremember names anymore.
Novocaine, here it is.
We watched it this past Sundaybecause the boyfriend had to
work on Saturday.
Jack Quaid I never remember hisname, but I know that he's
Dennis Quaid's son.
Dennis Quaid is fine that he'sDennis Quaid's son.
(50:15):
Dennis Quaid is fine.
Jack Quaid is in it.
Didn't realize that JackNicholson's son was in it until
the end, actually, not even tillthe end Yesterday.
It was either yesterday orTuesday that I figured that out.
The guy from Spider-Man, theAsian friend, jacob Batalon Nice
name, betty Gabriel's in it,and she was in.
It wasn't Get Out, was it?
(50:36):
She was?
Oh, fucking shit man.
I don't remember anything foranybody anymore.
She was in, get Out.
Yeah, she was one of the ghostshe kept seeing.
But Novocaine was cool.
Basically, what it is is thisguy has some neurological
disorder where he can't feelanything and he's a assistant
bank manager where there is afucking bank robbery and they
(51:00):
take the girl that he's intothat he finally hooks up with,
but I won't tell you anythingmore than that.
But he gets hurt a lot and theway he gets hurt is really funny
.
Also, if you haven't seen themonkey and you like exaggerated
killings, that's it.
That's a good one, but in anycase.
So that's all I wanted to say.
Novocaine was really good.
(51:20):
So that's four movies Imentioned in this podcast and
that's a lot.
So love you guys so much.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm going to go drink somewater and some more coffee and
that's it.
Love you guys.
Bye, thank you.
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