November 21, 2024 • 58 mins
What if social media could skew your priorities and alter your view of family dynamics? We unravel this and more with hilarious anecdotes from my grandmother’s infamous Facebook oversharing, leading to laughable celebrity rumors about Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. As Thanksgiving approaches, we share tales of awkward friendships and reminisce about past relationship quirks, peppered with pop culture musings and a comedic critique of Whoopi Goldberg's public persona.
Ever been stuck behind a "2020 Kia Cigar" with a wheezing horn? My surreal traffic encounter sets the stage for reflections on life's absurdities, from car names to the humor in "Malibu's Most Wanted." This episode also brings a Thanksgiving twist, with gratitude for improving family health and a look back at last year's holiday cooking adventures. And if political debates infiltrating your gaming space annoy you, you’re not alone—we stress our determination to keep certain spaces free of such discussions, all while laughing off social media’s backlash against John Stamos and his bold bald cap move in support of Dave Coulier.
Feeling out of touch with modern slang or nostalgic for simpler times when cursive writing reigned supreme? We poke fun at the ever-evolving language and technology, contrasting those retro school essentials with today’s gadget-centric world. Share laughs over relatable workplace stories, from bonding with a manager over video games to dealing with a disruptive coworker whose antics test my patience. Whether it's the mundane act of microwaving a Lean Cuisine or saving office drama for the Christmas party, brace yourself for a relatable, humorous journey through the quirks of everyday life, communication, and societal norms.
If you like this show and all it's shenanigans, please feel free to give a follow over on Twitch and Tiktok (it's more of this!)
Twitch: qweencocobean
Tiktok: cocoabean34
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
what's up, guys?
We are back with anotherepisode of coco off the grid.
Thanks you, thanks to you allfor joining.
I really just can't speak.
This is legitimately my secondtake of just trying to say hi
and welcome people in, so I'mrecording again.
I told you it was either goingto be wednesday or thursday same
day release.
(00:44):
I'm back on my regular scheduleof work.
It was either going to beWednesday or Thursday same day
release.
I'm back on my regular scheduleof work, so it's going to be
Thursdays.
Moving forward.
Released it early last weekbecause I worked from home for
two weeks and was literallydriving myself crazy.
Back on a regular schedule now.
So that's cool.
So hope everyone's had a goodweek so far, so far.
(01:05):
I am chilling.
I'm back on my weight lossthing.
I'm still going through someallergy shit, so I sound a
little nasally right now.
My hello fresh box gotdelivered, so I already know
what I'm gonna have for dinner.
I have three choices and that'sit.
That works for me.
Um, been trying to be a lot, lotbetter about stuff.
I found a lot of cool shit onthis Lemon 8 app and really dope
(01:26):
stuff, like really cooltutorials, cool dupes from the
Dollar Tree and all that shitand just absolutely fantastic
stuff so far.
You don't even understand thechokehold this fucking app has
on me right now.
If I could speak English todaythat'd be really good because we
have a lot to cover.
But I want to make sure even ifwe don't get to this shit.
(01:48):
We're approaching Thanksgiving,so next week might be a little
tough.
I'm actually off Wednesday, soI might have to do I'll do a
Wednesday recording and releaseit Thursday.
I'm not releasing it beforeThursdays anymore, just moving
forward.
If it is going to happen beforeThursday, it's because
something happened with myschedule where I can't do it on
(02:08):
a Thursday, but my work fromhome days are Thursday Friday,
so it's more than likely goingto be a Thursday, same day
release type of deal.
Sorry, but that's just life andwe got to get over that.
I'm trying to keep consistentwith these and knowing that
Thursdays are the day kind ofhelps me, because I have nothing
going on right now with thistraining and even when I do have
something going on with thisjob, I'm still going to record
(02:29):
from home.
So you're still going to get anepisode Thursday, whether it be
a same day recording or aWednesday recording, into a
Thursday.
Whatever you're, you're goingto get a Thursday.
So we're trying to build backthis community, we're trying to
people involved in places andit's been lackluster lately, but
it's going to be different.
So I'm really excited for thatand I'm recording in a different
(02:50):
room today, so I'm hoping itsounds a little bit different.
There's a lot of stuff happeningin the background.
If you hear a computer oranything, that's because I have
two computers in front of me,one for work and one for play.
Let me see, he is hold on.
My team is looking at.
Oh my God, that dog is so crazy.
This dog is upside down justsleeping like a human.
Anyway, let's not focus on workshit.
(03:11):
I'm not in the mood for thatright now.
I'm in the mood to discussother things I've seen this past
week.
So between last week and thisweek it's been a lot.
Let's discuss how family getsover politics really quick,
because I was talking to mymother about this last week and
the funny thing is is that so myfamily, everybody makes it a
(03:32):
big deal that people vote, okay,and my grandmother made a
comment last week and I kind ofhad to like side chat my mother
to be like hey, is she on drugsor what?
But my grandmother saw someFacebook posts, and my
grandmother's like a FacebookNazi, so she sees something,
she's going to let us know whatit is.
So, with that being said, mygrandmother always takes it upon
(03:57):
herself to show us shit that'snot necessary.
So, for example, she saw a postabout Robert De Niro saying
he's going to leave the countrybecause, um, he doesn't get any
respect in the in you in the U?
S, and I kind of want to belike, well, that's kind of
deserved.
If you have the dick like, whydon't you and Al Pacino get
along Like they've had thelongest feud I've ever heard?
(04:18):
And that's what's funny, isthat?
You know it's cool.
If you want to fucking just bedifficult, to be difficult, the
other side of it is you guyshave to work together and make
millions, you know.
So if you're just going to likeKim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica
Parker, I get that a hundredpercent, because bitches don't
like each other.
(04:38):
Okay, I'm just going to tellyou that right now.
So bitches don't like eachother.
And it's because bitches act upand more than likely not to be
racist, white bitches act up.
Spanish bitches are way worse.
I'm spanish.
Okay, so spanish bitches actway worse because we don't care
about your feelings.
And we'll tell you when I wasyounger I didn't do it, but now
(04:59):
I do it.
I actually had this happen witha friend of mine named melanie
um a couple years ago when Ifirst moved down here, because
it just seemed to me and it'sprobably not what happened, but
it seemed to me that she wasobsessed with being my friend
and just obsessed with keepingthat connection from New York.
But how can I be friends withsomeone who asks me?
(05:20):
She says some crazy shit to me.
She goes if you were a lesbian,would you do me?
And then I was like sure, like,just so you know, just to like
get that question to go away.
And then afterwards she waslike hey, do you want to come
over?
What?
Now?
You asked me a question aboutif my sexuality was different
(05:43):
what I do you and then youinvited me over and then I'm
just supposed to believe youknow that everything's going to
be cool, like we're just goingto hang out, like you didn't ask
me that.
Let a couple days go by and thenask me to hang out, let the
refresh rate happen of my brain,to then be like, oh, she didn't
just ask me that.
And then when I hang out andthen I think something weird is
going to happen, but it justseemed like so it's, it's shit
(06:05):
like that.
So I don't get irked out aboutthat.
I love everybody, everybody'ssexuality is everybody's
business, but you can't ask me astrange question like that and
then me not think that you'regoing to try and put some moves
on me or roofie me or some shitlike that.
That's crazy.
Um, anyway, she was.
Uh, she was pretty chill untilshe wasn't, and it was at that
point, wasn't.
And it was at that pointactually, it was more when I
(06:26):
moved down here, because one ofmy exes tried to make it seem
like I was being a dick to heralso, but he also had some
problems that he wasn'tresolving either.
So I think he was projecting alot of his shit onto me, which
is fine, but also that's whyyou're an ex, so see you later,
bitch.
So, um, hitting the groundrunning really with this.
So back to the Robert De Niroshit.
So my grandmother said she saidthe craziest shit, she goes.
(06:50):
I can't wait to line up allthese celebrities and shoot them
and I want to be like.
First of all, you've never shota gun in your life.
So let's, let's dissect thissentence.
You want to line up celebritiesand shoot them.
This just makes me think ofthat office episode where they
had fucking Toby stand up and awhole bunch of other people Like
(07:11):
.
They were like if it was aHitler of Osama bin Laden and
Toby, who would you kill?
That was like the worst meetingever in an office.
That shit was hilarious.
So of course, they said youknow they would.
They said they would shootsomeone and then shoot Toby
twice, I think, is what happened.
That was fucking so stupid.
So, um, but back to mygrandmother's stupid nonsense.
(07:33):
She, she said that and I was.
I.
I asked my mother.
I was like, is your mother oncrack?
I actually called my mom andwas like, what's going on with
her?
Is she okay?
Like the only thing that sheever finds important is anything
on Facebook.
And it's not that way, bitch.
It's not.
Go touch grass, go touch cementsidewalks outside your
apartment, go smell thatdisgusting air in New York City,
(07:57):
go play with rats in a dumpster.
Find something else to do otherthan be on Facebook.
You know, just go stand intraffic.
No, I'm kidding, that's mygrandmother.
I shouldn't say that that'sfucked up, but like, go do
something outside instead ofworrying about who's leaving
fucking America because offucking Trump and all this,
whatever.
Who even cares?
(08:17):
He probably voted for Trump.
Um, maybe he just wants toleave, to leave.
I didn't read the article causeI don't give a shit, cause it's
Facebook.
So, and then she said somethinglike wait till they take Whoopi
Goldberg.
Who the fuck cares about thatcat lady with no eyebrows?
Who cares?
We're taking her opinion.
And then, first of all, whoopiGoldberg is probably making
money off royalties for shit,and she's lying to the public,
(08:40):
saying she's a working person.
She even said if I had millionsof dollars, do you think you
would see me on this show?
And I want it to be like yes,because what else are you going
to do?
What else are you going toshave off?
Your eyebrows haven't grownback.
I don't think I've never seen aperson.
So, by the way, she looks goodwithout them.
She looks good without them.
(09:00):
My thing is is that who caresabout whoopi Goldberg?
Also, my phone changed WhoopiGoldberg to Whooping Goldberg.
Hey, iphones, get it together.
And do you know why?
Millions of dollars is made bythat company.
Billions, probably trillions Idon't know what's above that but
billions in the billions ofdollars.
(09:24):
And this is what autocorrect isdoing.
If you could change the wordfuck to duck, you should
recognize whoopie Goldberg,unless that's like some petty
slights in which you don't wantto let me spell whoopie Goldberg
because you don't like her.
Maybe she's an Android user andthey have a thing against her,
who knows?
But don't change my shit towhooping Goldberg.
You know what I meant.
You know exactly what I meant,but don't change my shit to
(09:48):
whooping Goldberg.
You know what I meant.
You know exactly what I meant.
So another thing after we'redone with that rant on fucking
politics, celebrities and family, because my mom was like this
is what.
This is what ended it.
So this was the end all be allof the conversation that made me
laugh so fucking hard.
She goes.
I'm not even listening orresponding to her because she
didn't vote.
She goes.
Her opinion's not valid onanything political because she
(10:09):
didn't vote.
And the funny thing is is thatmy mom is right, because there's
no reason why she didn't vote.
Okay, they set that shit up inthe basement like not basement,
the lobby of her apartmentbuilding.
She could have went downstairsnaked and voted Not that anyone
would have wanted to see that,but like she could have went
downstairs nakedly, trotting herway down there whatever, pulled
(10:31):
the lever for justice andfucking went back upstairs in an
elevator.
She's not even climbing stairs,she's in an elevator.
Bitch, you're taking an electricway of movement and fucking
justice pull, just like that.
An American justice pull.
(10:53):
Sorry, if you hear all thatnoise, that's me moving in my
chair.
This is why I do it from thecouch, so y'all can't hear me.
But I feel like there's a lotmore.
It's a lot more condensed,sound wise in here.
But we'll see.
We'll see, oh God.
(11:13):
Anyway.
So American justice pool.
What the fuck Phone?
You're not going to tell methat's not my passcode to get
into my phone, all right.
So there's another thing thathappened this week, and it was
this week.
So I didn't have much trafficlast week in my mind, except for
my grandmother saying crazyshit about celebrities.
So let me tell you somethingthere is hanger in this world
(11:34):
and there's having conversationwhen appropriate, all right.
So here's what happened, andI'm going to tell you this story
from my side, because I don'tknow what this person was
thinking.
So I?
Um, since I'm still fairly newin my position, it hasn't even
been a month yet.
I don't think.
(11:55):
I think next Monday will be amonth since I came into this
role.
Sorry, I have to just click forjustice here.
No, I'm kidding, I have toclick to make sure it looks like
I'm active even though I'm notdoing shit.
Um, I literally don't haveanything to do.
Yet they have me sitting herelooking at videos and all this
other shit and I literally havenothing to do.
So there's that.
So I was.
(12:17):
So I slowly but surelyintroduced myself to people.
I've already spoken to this onedude.
His name's James.
He's really cool.
He's another reporting rep.
I was told as soon as I got mydesk that he would be really
excited that another reportingperson was going to be sitting
over here, so that he would havesomeone, I guess, to talk to or
bounce ideas off of whatever.
So I was excited for that.
And then he comes over.
He's really really nice butreally unobservant.
(12:43):
So one day I was I think it wasMonday, yeah, it was Monday.
So Monday I sit at my desk toeat.
Okay, I would like to be thetype of person that, just you
know, fucks off for my 30minutes.
But I can't do that.
I like to just be in a spacewhere I'm comfortable, because
if I go outside and eat in mycar I'm leaving, and I've
(13:05):
already told people that too.
I'm like, oh, that's a riskygame.
You're playing my coworkerAustin.
He's like that's risky.
You're playing like 50-50chance of not coming back.
So to me I think it's realrisky that you're going outside
to take a break and, just likeyou know, breathing in the air
(13:26):
of freedom, and then having togo back inside to deal with
nonsense.
Because I still see my oldteams chat.
They're fucking.
It's crazy for it not beingyear end that they're dealing
with all the shit they'redealing with.
So, anyway, I warmed up my foodin the break room, I came back
and, uh, I came back to sit downwith my food.
It was seasoned perfectly, likeI salted it correctly, and all
(13:48):
that.
It was turkey tenderloins withsweet, with mashed sweet potato
my fucking favorite from leancuisine right now.
That's one of the ones I'd berocking with.
So I sit down at my desk, Ihave my drink.
I'm about to pop open myfucking LaCroix.
Ooh, I have the limoncello ones.
I got to try.
I have too much LaCroix rightnow.
I keep forgetting when I ordergroceries that I order a case of
(14:09):
LaCroix every time.
I have two, four fucking casesof LaCroix two lime, one lemon,
one limoncello.
I have too much and not enoughroom in my fridge because I
finally restocked everything.
So we're busy.
We're busy in the fridge, soI'm sitting down about to pop
open my LaCroix excuse me and hecomes over and he starts
(14:33):
talking to me like this is himintroducing himself to me.
So this is like day one of memeeting this person.
Very nice but, like I said,very unobservant.
So I'm sitting there and he'slike hey, my name's James.
I didn't catch it in thebeginning row.
I had to literally get upTuesday to see his, his name
(14:56):
played on his desk to be like oh, that's what his name is,
Because I don't, I don't evenremember.
I don't even remember if hefucking introduced himself or
not, like by name.
I think he just came up and waslike oh, are you introduced
himself or not?
Like by name.
I think he just came up and waslike oh, are you Corinne?
I'm like yeah, and he's like,oh, okay, you're another
reporting rep.
And I'm like yep, and he's likeoh okay, and then just word
(15:24):
diarrhea for like five minutes.
Do you know how long that is?
In food years, that's perfecttemp, then room temp.
Then this is going to tastelike you just refrigerated it.
Microwavable food does not lastlong in air in room settings
once you've warmed it up.
So while this man is, you know,talking, talking, talking, I
think I get a break to like takea fork full of something and
(15:47):
then he starts talking again.
I got to put it down.
I'm like, oh my God.
So I'm just sitting there, I'mwide eyeing him.
He's staring me in my fuckingbrain.
It looks like that's how hard.
He's like looking into my faceand I'm staring back like bitch
if we had lasers, we would setthis whole place off.
And back, like bitch, if we hadlasers, we would set this whole
place off.
(16:07):
And he's talking and talking.
I'm like, oh yeah, that'sreally cool.
Yep, yep, doing the whole thing.
Like wow, what?
Like I'm listening.
But I'm also like bro, I'mtrying to eat.
Bro, I'm trying to eat.
Like you see the food in frontof me, do you?
I'm dying, I want to eat myfood.
So then of course, he just likehe goes away and I've.
He's real happy with himself.
(16:27):
And then I'm just looking downlike you're going to be a
pathetic piece of shit, aren'tyou?
To my lean cuisine.
I was like what a travesty of aday.
It's a Monday, it's slow asfuck.
Already.
I'm going to be in sometraining for the rest of the day
, which turned out you know whatit turned out to be okay with
the training, because it wasover a three.
I thought I was going to haveto stay till five, like every
(16:49):
day.
No, we were good.
We were definitely okay.
So again, very nice.
But please, man, if you see foodup like I'm literally about to
just get a sign at my desk thatsays on lunch and just stick it
over my thing, I think I hadthat, oh my God.
Yeah, I used to do that atValley View, the nursing home in
(17:12):
Goshen.
That's so hilarious.
I just remember that I made aname play for myself because
whenever I would step away,people would come up to my desk
and leave me notes like hey,where were you?
And of course I don't.
You know you're an adult, youdon't have to tell your manager
when you go to lunch, you justgo.
So I'm just going to make alittle thing for my desk that
says on lunch, and I'm going tohang it there on that, on the
(17:33):
little glass thing, so thatpeople can see it and not come
up to me, because people do thatall the time.
The only people that didn't dothat were my previous team,
because they knew if I waseating not the time.
So maybe I'll just do that.
Maybe that would just be easier.
It would just solve so manyproblems and then just don't
come up to me when I'm trying toeat.
Okay so, uh, that day, I thinkon my way home, was hilarious,
(17:59):
because what the fuck was?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
So I'm looking at these notesjust trying to make sure that I
know what the fuck's going on.
Okay, yeah, so this is going tobe good.
So I was driving home MondaySorry, I'm making myself laugh
because I'm so stupid I wasmaking my way home on Monday and
(18:23):
I was like, oh okay, traffic'sgoing to be ridiculous on a
Monday, which it always is.
It's not a surprise to me.
What was a surprise wasyesterday, because I got home on
a timely fashion and I was like, no fucking way, because I had
to take a detour.
So that's what pissed me off onmy way home Monday was because
Waze doesn't update its ass toknow that detours are there.
So I had to make a executivedecision and go left instead of
(18:47):
right yesterday, made it home ontime.
My food from Uber eats beat mehome.
That's hilarious.
And then I didn't realize thatTD bank does early pay.
So I got paid.
Um, I got paid early, two daysearly on fucking what you call
it.
I got paid yesterday and mypayday is tomorrow.
(19:08):
So that's cool, that's dope.
Apparently, more banks aredoing that now.
I think that's like the plusside of direct deposit.
I keep hearing weird noises.
I'm forgetting, I'm doinglaundry and I'm like come for it
, ghost, no, anyway.
So I was driving home Mondayand, uh, there's a part that
crosses over I-4, which is likethe main highway that goes East
to West of Florida.
(19:28):
So I'm crossing over this, I'mon this overpass and I'm
literally sorry I'm clicking inthe background, so my bubble
stays green, so nobody asked meshit.
So, uh, um, I'm driving home.
I know I've had a lot of workdone on my car lately and he
even the boyfriend even ran intothe carwash, which was very
(19:50):
nice.
I got to do it again before wego to see my parents, because
this weekend we were supposed todo my breaks, but I don't think
that's going to happen, so, um,so, yeah.
So I'm driving home veryobservant.
I'm looking at everybody's carand I'm like God, that guy's car
is so nice, like it's a littlebit dirty, but it's nice.
And of course he, this guy, hashis hand out and I feel like,
(20:20):
all right, this guy's already adouchebag.
He's got his hand, his lefthand, out the window.
He's got a gold watch on,probably some kind of Rolex or
something.
He's got a gold watch on hishand is out the window and a
stogie is in between his fingers, his pointer and his middle
finger, like a dickhead.
So he has a nice car, is dirtyas shit.
(20:45):
On the outside it's nice,though, besides the dirt, that's
a very nice car.
It's a Kia, something.
Okay, that car has to smell sofucking bad on the inside.
That car has to smell sofucking bad on the inside.
So fucking bad on the insideBecause if it hadn't been a nice
(21:08):
day out, you know that guywould have had his windows up
with the AC blowing the smoke ofthe cigar everywhere.
So it got me thinking about whatI would name that car and I
decided to call it the 2020 Kiacigar.
And I'm stupid for that,because who the fuck thinks of
that?
When they're sitting in traffic?
Who the fuck thinks of justnaming, naming cars, the the
(21:33):
thing that's happening in themLike I don't know it was.
It was just so weird but I waslike wow, that's.
I thought it was really funnyat the time, but right now,
thinking about it, I'm like wow,what a fool to sit in traffic
Like hey, I just bought a 2020Kia cigar and the horn sounds
like you honk the horn and it'sjust a cough and it just wheezes
(21:59):
when you put your foot on thegas, like that's how you
accelerate.
That's so stupid, because ifyou don't laugh in traffic,
you're crying or you're singingthe song from Malibu's Most
Wanted.
It's just traffic, trafficlooking for my chapstick.
That.
That.
(22:19):
That was my favorite part ofthat fucking movie.
Besides the fact that he goesout of all the shorties I
haven't been with you to finest.
That's amazing.
That movie's so dumb.
That was like one of the jamiekennedy's, like top movies, I
feel like.
And then everything else wentdownhill and now he looks crazy.
He looks like he ate jamiekennedy.
I think my dad, my stepdad'sfavorite part of it was that
(22:41):
Snoop Dogg was a rat namedRonnie Rizzat reprises that,
that's what he used to say,anyway, so what a stupid movie.
I'm looking forward toThanksgiving this year and I
have to say it's because I don'thave to do anything this year.
Last year my dad was in thehospital and because he was
going through his leukemia stufflike this this this time last
year there was shit happeningthat was so out of our control.
(23:03):
It was crazy, and we were justlike praying and hoping that
things would work out.
And it did.
He does immunotherapy, uh, oncea week, I think once a week or
once a month, I'm not sure.
I don't know the frequency, buthe does immunotherapy and so
far it's been working.
So, uh, everything seems to beworking out great, and the fact
that I don't have to cook thisyear is even better.
(23:24):
Last year I had to take over theduties because, uh, he was in
the hospital and he was the onethat does everything and my mom
ended up ordering like a Publix,uh Turkey thing, like a Turkey
dinner for like eight people.
So I had to do basicallyeverything and it was crazy, but
I did it and, uh, I was tiredand it it honestly made me sick
at the end of the day, like Iwas so tired that we just got
(23:45):
sick.
Well, I did, he didn't.
My boyfriend did not get sick.
I got sick.
I was enjoying the food and Iwas, like, on the way home I was
like, oh my God, my stomach,like not crying, but just like
holding my stomach, like pleasejust let me get home.
Like not crying, but just likeholding my stomach, like please
just let me get home.
I don't want to shit my pantsin a car.
That's how bad I felt.
But yeah, also, I'm really,really getting sick of having to
(24:10):
, you know, deal with this whole.
Stop with the politics and videogames.
Okay, just stopped.
All right, I'm done with it.
Okay, my server is not a placefor that.
Okay, let's just be chill andplay video games.
All right, everybody's entitledto an opinion, but we're not
(24:33):
doing that, all right.
So I am laughing because one ofmy close people who listens to
this podcast started referencing, you know, gender fluidity.
Ok, I am not entertaining thatconversation.
Ok, I'm not entertaining thatthought process.
Stop it.
Stop it right now.
(24:54):
And you should know by now thatwe're not doing that here and I
love you, but we're not doingthat here and we're not doing
that here and I love you butwe're not doing that here and
we're not doing that here.
So I'm not going to keeptelling you Okay, just come in,
let's play video games, be cool.
You'll probably be butthurtbecause I put it in this episode
, but that's fine, because youknow me by now and you know I
say it out of love.
(25:15):
But cut it out.
Cut it out.
Poor David Coulier and hisfucking cancer, by the way.
And what's crazy about that isthat he is so ready to just be
done with life that that guy ismy fucking hero.
And could you imagine?
Could you imagine that JohnStamos is getting flack for
(25:38):
wearing a bald cap for DaveCoulier?
Let's take a gander at this.
Also, stop with the politics.
We're done with it.
The election happened is cool,let's move on.
Moving on to Dave Coulier,let's see, he's 61.
That's crazy.
Um, so recently Dave Couliercame out and stated that he is
(26:01):
going through, obviously, astage three, not Hodgkin's
lymphoma.
So, in support of his friend,because they were in fucking
full house together uh, johnStamos was wearing a bald cap,
okay, and posted in a picturewith like posed in a picture
with him.
So of course, dave Coulier hasto tell everyone politely to
shut the fuck up, because that'shis friend.
(26:24):
So Dave Coulier defends JohnStamos against negative comments
for wearing bald cap in supportof co-star's cancer journey.
True loving friend, john knowshow to cheer me up and I laughed
out loud when he arrivedwearing a bald cap.
Being a true loving friend andbrother, coulier wrote on
(26:46):
Instagram Dave Coulier isn'ttolerating any hate.
This is what the fuck needs tohappen.
This is what the fuck needs tohappen.
There's too many celebritiesthat come for each other and
then there's this shit, and thisis why they were on Full House
together.
This is it.
On Tuesday, november 19thth, thecomedic actor defended former
full house co-star john stamoson instagram after backlash
erupted the day prior over aseries of photos.
The pair shared.
(27:06):
The images featured john Ican't read the images featured
stamos, 61, wearing a bald capto support coulier, 65, amid his
cancer journey, leading somepeople to call out the general
hospital alum for beinginsensitive, since he could take
the cap off and have his hairback.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm sorry to see a bunch ofnegative comments as I've just
begun my cancer journey.
(27:27):
Kuye's post began.
It's our friendship, me andJohn, and this is how we're
handling a very tough time.
I'm a comedian and humor's whatdrives me.
I know John.
John knows how to cheer me upand I laughed out loud when he
arrived wearing a bald cap,being a true loving friend and
brother.
I've heard from so many peoplewho have been inspired enough by
my words and actions to saythat they are going to check in
(27:48):
with their doctors and getmammograms, a colonoscopy or a
prostate exam.
He continued I'm still going tolaugh in the face of adversity.
When I lost my sister Sharon,my mother Arlen, arlen or Arlene
, I don't know and my nieceShannon to cancer, we tried to
stay positive and we made eachother laugh through the worst of
it.
I'm choosing to spread the wordabout early cancer detection to
help people.
That's just who I am.
Kuye, who also turned thecomments off on the post,
(28:10):
concluded I wish nothing butlove for all of you.
Stamos shared the photos of himin the bald cap alongside Kuye
on November 18th.
The post also included imagesof Stamos shaving his longtime
friend's head and posing withCoulier and his wife Melissa.
Nothing like throwing on a baldcap and flexing some Photoshop
skills to show some love andsolidarity with my bro at D
Coulier.
Stamos wrote in the captionyou're handling this with so
(28:31):
much strength and positivity.
It's inspiring.
I know you're going to getthrough this and I'm proud to
stand with you every step of theway.
I love you.
Ps.
Melissa Kouya is the mostwonderfulest, your true lifeline
, he added.
The comments were quicklyflooded with criticism, with one
person writing so he's notreally supporting him.
He's posing, posting for aphoto op.
Another commented oh, butreally at John Stamos, you
(28:51):
didn't shave your head with him.
Unfortunately, this isn'tbrotherhood.
Your hair isn't that important.
Coming from someone who hasgood hair, I would never not
shave my head.
In true solidarity.
People also came to Stamos'defense, with some noting that
he can't shave his head due tohis acting jobs and others
sharing their own experiences.
As someone who has had cancerthree times, I never wanted
anyone to shave their head forme.
I think this is great andhilarious and I'm sure Dave
(29:14):
didn't really want him to shavehis head.
Couillet revealed his stagethree non-Hodgkin lymphoma
diagnosis on November 13th.
He shared that an upperrespiratory infection on October
led him to get tested.
He would eventually bediagnosed with cancer.
Three days later my doctorscalled me back and they said we
wish we had better news for you,but you have non-Hodgkin's
lymphoma and it's called B-celland it's very aggressive.
(29:34):
I went from I got a little bitof a head cold to I have cancer
and it was pretty overwhelming.
This has been a really fast,rollercoaster ride of a journey.
After receiving the news, heshared the information with his
full house family, includingStamos, candace Cameron Burr,
andrea Barber, jodi Sweeten,lori Loughlin, scott Weinger and
series creator Jeff Franklin.
I didn't want them to hear itfrom someone else, so I sent the
(29:55):
text message out, the actorexplained, adding that their
response from everyone wasimmediate.
It was just this outpouring ofI'll be there, you just name the
time, and I know you're ingreat hands with Mel.
But what can we do?
It really is overwhelming thelove we have for each other.
We've been there for so manyyears of each other and it's
pretty remarkable.
Everybody needs to mind theirfucking business.
You know what I mean.
Like you already know, johnStamos wasn't going to shave his
(30:16):
head, and if they have apersonal inside joke they want
to share with you, you shouldfucking be accepting and
receptive as an audience of whatpeople are trying to do.
I know that if a friend of minehad cancer, I'm not going to
shave my head and it's not outof selfishness.
But they know me and they knowI don't look good bald.
So that's the number one thing.
I actually saw myself in aSnapchat filter of being bald
(30:37):
and I look like my fucking uncle.
So don't ask me to do that,because I'm not going to do it.
I'll be like look, bruh,where's the bald cap at?
But here's the other thing why Idon't understand why people use
social media in such a toxicmanner and bring people down.
That's why, like that was theoh my God.
(30:57):
So the other toxic behavior isthrowing shit at celebrities.
Did anyone else remember thatwhen people were just fucking
attending concerts and throwingshit and hurting celebrities on
stages while either theyperformed or spoke or whatever?
This is the same thing.
You're throwing bottles oftoxic sludge at celebrities who
(31:20):
are sharing a special momentwith you.
And get over it that he didn'tshave his head for his friend.
When I look at that, I'm likeholy shit, he shaved his head
and he was like no bald cap.
And I was like, oh my God,thank God, who would want to see
John Stamos bald?
Who's looking for that?
I'm not looking for that,nobody's looking for that.
(31:40):
So, like if Dave Coulier andJohn Stamos have an
understanding, just fucking keepscrolling, you pieces of shit.
Stop being pieces of shit, justbe cool, scroll through a post
and be like, oh my God, that'sreally sad, dave Coulier has
cancer and move on with your day.
Not, oh fuck, john Stamos, hedidn't shave his head for his
(32:03):
friend.
Like, oh my God, the two thingsare never you know, never in
conjunction with each other.
Like one thing can be withoutthe other.
Like the two things don't needto be together.
We don't need someone.
People on the pros side and onthe cons side of everything Just
be chill.
Just be chill.
(32:24):
This has to be some bored groupof people.
I could not believe that thisis my generation doing that shit
.
I cannot, because my generationis tired.
Do you know why?
Because we work all the time.
We don't have time to makethese sassy remarks.
My generation is me basicallyreading this shit and going
(32:44):
what's wrong with people.
That has to be it.
Because I'm telling you ormaybe it's just my family
Because I'm telling you, if Ibrought this to my mother's
attention, she would be like whocares?
My mother would be like who thefuck cares that John Stamos
didn't shave his head?
Huh, who cares?
(33:06):
Nobody.
And that's my tagline, bro.
When anyone brings a problem tome, I'm so in the mode of who
cares.
It's not even funny, bro.
You ask me something like thething with George with the
overthinking of the email.
My thing with the who caressentence is crazy.
Every, every phrase of thesentence is who cares, because
(33:29):
who cares and who cares and whocares doesn't matter.
Stop attacking celebritiesbefore we have nothing to watch
anymore, before we have nothingto do on social media, but see
recipes and then criticize thoserecipes.
Oh, you should do that Like.
I've posted shit on TikTokbefore about stuff I've cooked.
And let me tell you something,I'm my own worst critic anyway.
(33:51):
So if I post something onTikTok, it's because I want to
share it with no other thingthan oh, look at that, that's
cool.
So I made something one day andsomeone commented on how I made
my, how I did my breading for mycutlets, and they're like oh,
next time you should blah, blah,blah, so it doesn't fall apart.
And you know what I said tothem.
I was like thank you, I'll trythe next time.
Like why don't we just pretend,just play the game with each
(34:14):
other, play the social mediagame.
Stop fucking being hateful.
And you know I need to.
You know I need them to knowthat this is wrong.
That's not how shit works inlife.
That makes people afraid to tryanything or do anything because
they already know they're goingto fail, because there's people
out there hoping against them,pushing back, saying you suck,
(34:36):
stop doing it, stop Unnecessary,anyway.
So like it's just, it's justenough.
Like poor fucking Dave Coulierand fucking John Stamos trying
to do something cutesy and funnyand someone turns it into some
stupid shit oh, he didn't reallyshave his head for him.
Fuck John Stamos.
And it's never going to be fuckJohn Stamos.
(34:56):
I'm sorry to tell you.
It's never going to be fuckJohn Stamos.
You know why?
Because he looks how he looksHim and Rob Lowe.
Never going to be fuck him.
Or Rob Lowe.
Because you know why they lookhow they look.
They're funny and they makegood shit.
Fucking watch Full House.
God damn it if you don't get it.
Just fucking watch Full House,god damn.
(35:23):
This fucking chair is so loud.
I'm getting so mad, also mefeeling old, uh, aging myself
with fucking full house.
By the way, I'm tired of peopleabbreviating shit that does not
need to be abbreviated.
I saw on Facebook the other day, uh, one of my friends that I
used to party with.
She's in my age range.
Okay, so I get it.
(35:43):
Uh, I'm 35.
I don't even know how old sheis.
I think she's younger.
She's recently married with akid, and why are we posting
abbreviations for shit when wecould just use other words?
I saw her post I S O, uggsconnect.
Post ISO, uggs Connect.
(36:07):
So me being me and being old,you know I had to look it up.
So I looked it up.
And ISO means in search of I'venever used it before.
If you've used that phrase forlike, if you use that
abbreviation before, this't foryou.
I S O in search of Uggs connect.
So I looked it up, got insearch of.
(36:28):
Just say you need to knowsomeone who knows someone.
Just say I need an Uggs connect.
We're going to be speaking inabbreviations one day and it's
just going to be so intolerableI'm going to end it, going to
(36:48):
end it for myself and be likethis is the last chapter of my
life.
This is the last page of thelast chapter of my life and it's
going to be called I'm done.
And it's because someoneprobably said, and it's because
someone probably said IMO, iso,asap, fyi, like some stupid shit
to me and I'm just going to belike bang and that's it, not
(37:12):
them myself, because I don'twant to hear it.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
You're not going to keepfucking.
There's so many things.
I watched this streamer.
His name's Sonny Sunset.
He's so fucking funny.
He uses so much lingo where I'mlike, yeah, I'm old, and then I
forget he's 26 and I'm like I'mreal old Cause.
I'm like what is he saying?
What is this?
I have to go on urbandictionary like a fucking old
(37:33):
lady in a library in the middleof the night trying to figure
shit out.
In a library in the middle ofthe night trying to figure shit
out.
I'm like what does cooked mean?
I know perma-fried, because I'mjust like you know what it
feels like.
It feels like when you, whenyou get Rosetta Stone and you're
(37:54):
learning words individually andthen you hear people use it
enough that you start to figureout what it is.
That's what it is for me.
I'm like oh fuck, that's whatthat means.
Yes, figured it out.
I'm like hell.
Yeah, now I know what it means.
Awesome, awesome, you know.
Just like, really quickly overit, like fuck, yeah, figuring it
out.
What a jackass I am.
(38:17):
Oh, man, but yeah, stop using,stop doing this shit.
We need to use words.
You know how we don't usescript anymore, or cursive as
they say, but I had to learn itin fucking what was it?
Middle school or yeah, I thinkit was middle school.
By the way, still waiting tohear back from the world trade
registry, from all theinformation I sent them.
Haven't heard back yet.
(38:38):
Fine, so stop usingabbreviations, because that's
all we're going to be speakingin.
Just like how we don't use anykind of math.
We learned who's using Asquared plus B squared equals C
squared to Pythagorean theoremtheir way out of life.
Who's using it?
I don't have any engineerfriends to tell me what math
(38:59):
they're using to build buildingsor structures or anything like
that.
I don't know who's still usingit, and I love that whole thing
of you know teachers used to sayyou're never going to have a
calculator in your pocket allthe time.
Yes, the fuck, we do.
You know what we got Apple.
You know what we got Android.
You know what we got Samsung.
We have all the shits now wherewe'll never need a calculator
(39:23):
outside of our phone ever again,unless you're taking some kind
of testing where you can't haveyour phone in front of you.
Then you'll need to get like aTexas instrument, something,
something, point oh, and thenthat's fine.
But it's also.
Don't you fucking go to sleepcomputer.
I am still here.
Sorry, my work computer triedto go night nights.
But yeah, the Texas Instrumentdays.
(39:45):
You know who's keeping them in?
The business Schools, schoolsand, like I said, maybe
engineers, because I don't knowanybody who's using that shit.
I really don't.
But yeah, so fucking fuck you.
Texas Instrument.
Those were the most expensiveshits.
When I was in school used to belike, hey, at least the best
(40:06):
thing about going to school wasat least they gave you
specifically down to the, thedetail, the slightest detail,
version line point, whateverthat you needed to have for
paper pencils.
What was that?
You needed like a 2.0 pencil orsome shit, I forget it the lead
type.
The lead type was what youneeded because they wouldn't
(40:28):
accept anything else, which isinsane, because we all use
whatever we want anyway.
I think that's where my penobsession began.
But down to the lead, down tothe lead type of the pencil,
okay.
And then, if you want it to becool and jazz up your life, you
would get a pen case and a wholebunch of other shit and then go
(40:49):
to school and be like, hey,look at my fucking Jan sport,
isn't it cute when you were kids.
Now it's like, oh my God, Ineed that Michael Kors or I need
that coach, or like I needcoach, I have a Dooney and Burke
.
I love it.
It's huge.
Now, and what's funny is I'vejust figured out that I'm
starting to carry less and less,because I have a book bag for
work now and all myextracurricular shit, like my
(41:11):
puzzle books and my book that Ilike to read.
I'm reading the Court of Thornsand Roses series right now and
I'm on the second book.
I really need to get back intoreading, by the way, because
that book is just getting beatup in that backpack for no
reason.
I keep that shit in thatbackpack along with my laptop
headphones and multiple micewireless mice that I've been
using lately.
They're all in that bag.
(41:32):
So we're there.
Yeah.
So thank God for schools withtheir very detailed school
supply list that you had to get.
And here's the worst part,though the the longer you waited
to get your supplies for school, the more that shit looked like
a heist happened, like Walmart,staples, all that shit.
(41:53):
They're like, yeah, we haven'trestocked yet, and I'm like but
you know, we're all startingschool, right, you know that
this is happening.
Why aren't you guys prepared?
I think that's where myfrustration with lack of
preparedness began.
Even though I was the biggestprocrastinator I still am, but I
don't need my parents to helpme do anything like science
projects and shit Like when you.
I don't know if I forgotbecause I didn't care about it
(42:16):
or I just forgot because Iforgot, as being a kid is, but I
always used to forget to tellmy mom about science projects,
and then I had to pull somethingout of my ass like the day
before Anybody else do that.
One day I fucking, oh my God,in like third grade, I made a
science project about waterwaves, and you know what I did?
I pulled out a fucking aluminumtray like one of those
(42:36):
casserole things and I put waterin it and I was like look,
throw the stone in, see how thepebbles create waves.
That was my project and Ipassed.
That was my project and Ipassed.
It was the simplest, most nonpreparedness of fucking projects
there ever was.
And now look at me.
(42:58):
Now look at me.
I have my own podcast now whereI can't shut the fuck up.
Meanwhile, I was always aterrible communications expert.
Well, I took a class on speechin college and it didn't do much
, it just made me sweaty.
I've never been comfortablewith people staring directly at
me while I'm talking Probablywhy I do this shit so that
(43:21):
nobody can see me.
But I do want to add a videoaspect to it at some point so
you guys can see my face.
But I don't think I'm ready forthat yet.
I do have to get back intostreaming, though.
I keep saying it.
I think next Wednesday is goingto be the day, so I might do.
I'm going to do a day streamand just chill, so I think
that'll be cool.
(43:41):
If anyone wants to stop by, youcan stop by.
I put my name, my Twitch name,in everything, every episode, I
think, or I'm going to.
But come on by, I think that'llbe cool.
Everybody say hello, give afollow, just hang out.
I think I'm going to playsomething slow.
I'm probably going to playsomething like story-based so
that I can chill and talk topeople that come in.
(44:02):
Um, I love a good story game,so that's going to be cool.
The phone, no, that's outside.
Okay.
So I had another question.
I wanted to ask you guys thisshit.
Not that you're going to beable to answer me, but I noticed
this in my team chat last week.
Yeah, last week, while I wasworking from home, someone
(44:24):
pinged in my new team chat uh,asking if anyone had any uh
toothpaste or mouthwash, askingif anyone had any toothpaste or
mouthwash.
And I was like, are peoplereally brushing their teeth at
work?
Is this really a thing?
I didn't think so and I, youknow, do whatever you want
(44:47):
hygiene wise.
Like lately, I have beenbrushing my teeth twice a day.
I know that's really stupid toadmit, but I've had bad teeth
hygiene habits and I'm trying toget better with it.
I'm telling you that app Lemon8 has me on such a chokehold
bruh.
I just got a new electrictoothbrush and I bought
mouthwash.
I've been doing that twice aday.
(45:07):
I might see you feel crazy.
Like even my gums are like whatthe fuck's going on with your
buddy.
What the fuck is going on here,buddy?
Um, shut up.
Sorry, I got a text.
Uh, okay, shut up, though.
And then game updates on myphone.
Stop it, bruh.
(45:28):
Um, I don't know for me.
I can't brush my teeth at work.
I think that's too much.
Um, unless you get, stop it.
Unless you get, uh, so, in thein the ladies room.
So I'm going to explain thelayout.
There's about, I think there'sFive stalls, five regular ones,
and then there's the, the biggerone that includes its own sink.
(45:49):
All right, the only way thatbrushing your teeth at work is
acceptable is if, um, the onlyway brushing your teeth at work
is acceptable is if you get thatone, if you get that stall,
okay.
And the only reason why I saythat is because it's private and
I don't want to see you brushyour teeth at work.
Um, you might not have gunk inthere, but if I see something
(46:10):
fall out of your mouth with thattoothbrush, I'm going to throw
up on you.
I'm going to walk up to you andtap you on the shoulder and
fucking throw up on your face.
And that's what's happening,because how dare you bring your
home habits into your office?
You know like I get it.
You want to be clean and shit,but are you making out with
anyone after lunch?
You're not making out withanyone.
(46:33):
You shouldn't even be thatclose to somebody that they can
smell your breath like that.
Like, I've been next to peoplewho I fucking know for sure have
not brushed their teeth afterlunch and their breath does not
smell.
So what are you doing?
Like you know, the only, like Isaid, the only probable way
(46:53):
that I would accept thathappening is if you get the
stall with the sink in it,because I will voluntarily walk
up to you and go hey, did youjust, um, did you just brush
your teeth?
Um, I think I saw a littlesomething, something in the sink
.
It'd be like oh yeah, you knowI had such and such for, and I'd
be like this Okay, hang on asecond, stick my finger down my
(47:14):
throat and go all over them,cause that's what you deserve.
I don't want to see a Scoobysnack fall out of your fucking
mouth.
Okay, leave that shit at home.
Do a little flossy floss actionand pick the garbage out.
No, do it at home.
Keep it to yourself.
Do it at home.
That's a no-no for me.
(47:34):
Get in the stall with the sink,because if you're at the
communal sink area, if you seethat that stall is not available
, wait to brush your teeth untilfucking it's available.
That's it.
And I realized something elseconsidering that this is now
heading in a work-related manner, even though I have no clients
(47:57):
whatever, I still be justchit-chatting about work.
It's very chill right now.
I'm very chilling.
I was laughing because I'mmaking quite the impression at
work, I guess, because I justI'm being like super chill about
everything and hold on a second.
What the fuck's going on here?
(48:17):
Why is it acting like it's notconnected?
It is connected.
Um, it's so silly to me becauseif the, if the sound quality on
this shit is fucked, then we'refucked and that's it.
But I think we should be good,we'll see.
I have that magic mixer on.
I'm going to be so pissed offif this sounds like shit, to be
honest with you, but the thingisn't blinking, so it has to be
(48:41):
connected.
Anyway.
So I just realized that I liketo play around with my phrasing
with people and I realized thatthat's the impression I'm making
on people at work, that I justlike to play.
And the reason I like to playis because what else am I doing
so like.
I had a conversation with mymanager yesterday.
(49:01):
It was my first one-on-one withher.
I made them Wednesdays at like1130 so that we could have some
chill time and she's very nice.
She's very cute, very tiny.
We bombed in on video games andstuff and I just realized you
know everything I say to peoplein this office now it's very
much for play.
Like I just play with people,like I'm like oh yeah, like
(49:22):
being cute and shit, like, yeah,that sounds really fucking
annoying, but it's just.
You know, I can't be seriousall the time, otherwise I won't
make it to breath.
I will not fucking make it inthis place.
So I have a lot of fun.
I talk to people.
There's this one chick thoughthat you know older lady, that
really just gets me so madbecause it's like hey man, can
(49:43):
you just be cool?
Why do you keep looking overhere?
Like she keeps looking at mydirection, which isn't at me,
okay, but again I keep catchingher eyes.
She's looking at the personbehind me who is supporting her
while she's working, which islike another person just
answering questions for you, andit's just bruh.
Bruh, just fucking stop lookingthis way, cause I don't know
(50:06):
who you're looking at and you'redriving me crazy, like cause I
keep looking at her and I'm like, oops, like I have to make this
, oops, I'm sorry face.
And she just does it all thetime she goes.
And what's funny is she's likeyou know she's going to be so
happy to get sick of us.
We are, so I'm so sorry thatyou have to deal with how loud
we are.
And I'm like, oh, my God, bro.
So I look at her and she goes.
(50:35):
She's so quiet over there andwe're making so much noise and
I'm like, oh, you're so cute.
Do you think I'm quiet?
Oh, child, you're older than me, but I'm going to call you old
child.
I'm not quiet, I just don'tknow you or like you.
Yet, like yesterday she had thislong ass, she had this loud ass
conversation about how, oh, Iraised my kids on my own because
(50:57):
I didn't have a husband and Iwas like, oh, fucking, fucking,
fucking, fucking shit.
And I told a coworker of minenamed Jamar and he's like, tell
her to save it for Christmasparty, which seems like that's
the only place that that'sappropriate is when you're drunk
.
I don't believe she was drunkat work.
If she was, praise her, becausethat's amazing.
(51:18):
Praise her for doing that theright way.
I love a good drunk lady atfucking Christmas parties.
They always got the bestfucking stories.
I really don't know why thisthing is blinking at me.
I'm really hoping the shitstayed connected, otherwise I
don't know what the soundquality is going to be like.
I'm going to be really pissedoff.
But yeah, that lady was so loud.
(51:38):
She was like well, you know, ifyou have to like not even just
a loud about her shit, loudabout the other lady too.
Apparently, I just learned fromthe fact that this lady is
pumping breast milk is becausethis lady is just shouting her
shit out.
Hey, this meeting is not untilthat.
That that.
So if you have to go pump, gopump, lady.
Give everyone a break.
(51:58):
Give everyone a break.
Just sit down and work.
All right, just be sit down andbe pissed off that this internet
is cycling, like the rest of us, and stop talking about other
people's shit.
Like that's so crazy to me.
Like bro, we are not here foryou to talk about other people's
shit.
Like that's so crazy to me.
Like bro, we are not here foryou to talk about other people's
business.
All right, so figure it out,settle down.
Sit down, be quiet, be serene.
(52:22):
Be someone who I want to sitnear how about that?
Be someone who I want to sitnear with whatever, or someone
who I want to entertain theirfucking conversation, because
every time she looks at me, Ilike have a headphone in and
she's like stop looking at me,just stop looking in my
direction.
I'm just going to keep my headdown until you fucking know my
(52:42):
name.
Say it and look at me.
All right, all right, let's getit together.
Also, save all your drama forChristmas.
I'm going to sit next to you.
Hear all of it.
Oh, yesterday, during lunchlunch, hmm, this was so good.
I have to end it with this one.
I didn't think this was gonnabe a long one this time.
Uh, I was laughing because I,you know, I grabbed my little
(53:03):
lean cuisine.
I fucking just sit down.
I mean, I microwaved my littlelean cuisine.
This lady came over with like analuminum foil casserole dish
and she fucking starts.
You know, I was like, oh cool,she brought like that might be
leftovers from like something.
Like maybe she brought somelunch for her and someone else.
No, bruh, that entire fuckingcasserole dish thing was her
(53:27):
lunch.
And I'm like ma'am.
I want it to be like ma'am.
You know, tupperware exists,tupperwares exist.
If it doesn't fit in one,there's plenty of other ones you
could have bought to.
You know, compensate for that.
Sorry, I couldn't think of theword.
But like she brought like thatnine by 13 casserole thing.
(53:50):
It was deep and I was like ohGod.
So she pulled out like itlooked like Turkey, like Turkey
and mashed potatoes and stuffingand shit.
And I'm like you knowThanksgiving's last, like next
week, is this from lastThanksgiving?
I was just like Whoa bro, howyou bringing a whole thing like
that.
You obviously know everybody'sgoing to be staring at you
because it looks like thisshould be like a dinner for four
and it's just for you.
(54:11):
And it's little scoopings.
It's not even enough to fillthe casserole dish.
It's little scoopings of herlunch.
I'm like where did she evencome from?
Did she even put that in thefridge?
Like I had so many questionsand I was just like you know
what Life is going to be?
Life, I guess.
And I'm like I guess I'm justdealing with life as everybody
else is.
Because I guess and I'm like Iguess I'm just dealing with life
as everybody else is, cause.
(54:32):
Then my other thing was is thatthe boyfriend sent me a Tik TOK,
hilariously enough, and it hadsome guy getting a Baskin
Robbins Turkey, like, apparentlyBaskin Robbins does this thing,
that where they will make aTurkey that looks like ice cream
in the shape of a Turkey.
It's crazy.
And it's got the brown outsidewhich I'm guessing is like a
(54:53):
hardened caramel shell andwhatever flavor of ice cream you
want in the middle, so itlegitimately looks like a
fucking Turkey.
My problem is not that, becausethat would be a cool ass
dessert.
My problem is the fact that hehad it in a car, number one, so
that shit is slowly meltingwhile he's talking.
And number two, excuse me,number two, dry up over here.
(55:19):
Number two fucking straw, stophitting my fucking computer
monitor, you're making it sticky.
Um, number two he's, he'sfucking.
He pulls out actualThanksgiving sides.
He's fucking.
He pulls out actualThanksgiving sides, all right.
So it's not the fact that he'sgoing to eat dessert, it's the
fact that he is combining thatwith actual mashed potatoes,
(55:39):
corn gravy stuffing.
Sir, this is Big Mac activities.
Show us like.
What he could have done was hecould have made that shit look
like dessert as well.
Like if Baskin Robbins doeslike some dessert, like that
shit, and they have somethingthat looks like fake mashed
potatoes or fake corn or fakegravy.
Why are you combining the mealwith the dessert at the same
(56:01):
time?
That's some big back activity.
Anyway, it just made me so sick.
I was like I was on board.
I was on board Maybe not withthe flavor of ice cream you
chose.
You chose chocolate chip, like alittle freak, because in a
turkey you would never see brownspots like that, black spots
like that, and if you do, youshould throw that turkey out and
(56:22):
go to the hospital.
But like no, we're not mixingice cream turkey with fucking.
We're not mixing ice creamturkey with fucking real mashed
potatoes, real corn, real gravy,real stuffing.
It's not.
It's not how it's going to work.
And you're also not going toeat that in the car, because
that shit should be slip slidingall over the place.
And you should have seen thefucking knife he pulled out.
It was like he was a goddamnsamurai and he couldn't even cut
(56:45):
through it.
He goes damn Timu knife.
And I'm like why are you buyingcutlery off Timu?
Go to the store like regularpeople or you know why are you
carrying a knife in your car tocut ice cream.
Unbelievable.
Excuse me, my throat gets alittle dry, um, but yeah, so
(57:07):
that guy, I don't know, I didn'teven finish it, I was just so
disgusted.
I was like, all right, that'stoo much.
But so people be acting up, Iguess, around the holidays.
Um, we are almost in the lastmonth of the year.
I think that's crazy.
Um, I'm not changing shit aboutmyself.
So everybody forget it.
New Year's resolutionseverybody forget it.
(57:27):
So I love y'all for listening.
Thank you so much and I'm goingto try, and you know, keep
these going on Thursdays.
I am going to record nextWednesday so that I can put it
out on Thanksgiving.
You obviously don't have tolisten to it until you feel like
it, but I am not going to skipa day because of a holiday and
if I do, I'm going to find likean old episode of something else
to stick in between, because Ifound all my episodes from my
(57:49):
other podcast and that's justhilarious.
I couldn't even believe I foundall of them, which is so funny.
I got to figure out what theconnection issues is with this
fucking lavalier mic, but I'llcatch on next week.
Really, love you, guys and Ihope you had fun listening and
enjoyed this time.
I really enjoy spending timewith you all.
You have a great rest of yourday and enjoy your upcoming
(58:10):
weekends, and I'll see you nextweek.
Love you guys, bye.
what's up, guys?
We are back with anotherepisode of coco off the grid.
Thanks you, thanks to you allfor joining.
I really just can't speak.
This is legitimately my secondtake of just trying to say hi
and welcome people in, so I'mrecording again.
I told you it was either goingto be wednesday or thursday same
day release.
(00:44):
I'm back on my regular scheduleof work.
It was either going to beWednesday or Thursday same day
release.
I'm back on my regular scheduleof work, so it's going to be
Thursdays.
Moving forward.
Released it early last weekbecause I worked from home for
two weeks and was literallydriving myself crazy.
Back on a regular schedule now.
So that's cool.
So hope everyone's had a goodweek so far, so far.
(01:05):
I am chilling.
I'm back on my weight lossthing.
I'm still going through someallergy shit, so I sound a
little nasally right now.
My hello fresh box gotdelivered, so I already know
what I'm gonna have for dinner.
I have three choices and that'sit.
That works for me.
Um, been trying to be a lot, lotbetter about stuff.
I found a lot of cool shit onthis Lemon 8 app and really dope
(01:26):
stuff, like really cooltutorials, cool dupes from the
Dollar Tree and all that shitand just absolutely fantastic
stuff so far.
You don't even understand thechokehold this fucking app has
on me right now.
If I could speak English todaythat'd be really good because we
have a lot to cover.
But I want to make sure even ifwe don't get to this shit.
(01:48):
We're approaching Thanksgiving,so next week might be a little
tough.
I'm actually off Wednesday, soI might have to do I'll do a
Wednesday recording and releaseit Thursday.
I'm not releasing it beforeThursdays anymore, just moving
forward.
If it is going to happen beforeThursday, it's because
something happened with myschedule where I can't do it on
(02:08):
a Thursday, but my work fromhome days are Thursday Friday,
so it's more than likely goingto be a Thursday, same day
release type of deal.
Sorry, but that's just life andwe got to get over that.
I'm trying to keep consistentwith these and knowing that
Thursdays are the day kind ofhelps me, because I have nothing
going on right now with thistraining and even when I do have
something going on with thisjob, I'm still going to record
(02:29):
from home.
So you're still going to get anepisode Thursday, whether it be
a same day recording or aWednesday recording, into a
Thursday.
Whatever you're, you're goingto get a Thursday.
So we're trying to build backthis community, we're trying to
people involved in places andit's been lackluster lately, but
it's going to be different.
So I'm really excited for thatand I'm recording in a different
(02:50):
room today, so I'm hoping itsounds a little bit different.
There's a lot of stuff happeningin the background.
If you hear a computer oranything, that's because I have
two computers in front of me,one for work and one for play.
Let me see, he is hold on.
My team is looking at.
Oh my God, that dog is so crazy.
This dog is upside down justsleeping like a human.
Anyway, let's not focus on workshit.
(03:11):
I'm not in the mood for thatright now.
I'm in the mood to discussother things I've seen this past
week.
So between last week and thisweek it's been a lot.
Let's discuss how family getsover politics really quick,
because I was talking to mymother about this last week and
the funny thing is is that so myfamily, everybody makes it a
(03:32):
big deal that people vote, okay,and my grandmother made a
comment last week and I kind ofhad to like side chat my mother
to be like hey, is she on drugsor what?
But my grandmother saw someFacebook posts, and my
grandmother's like a FacebookNazi, so she sees something,
she's going to let us know whatit is.
So, with that being said, mygrandmother always takes it upon
(03:57):
herself to show us shit that'snot necessary.
So, for example, she saw a postabout Robert De Niro saying
he's going to leave the countrybecause, um, he doesn't get any
respect in the in you in the U?
S, and I kind of want to belike, well, that's kind of
deserved.
If you have the dick like, whydon't you and Al Pacino get
along Like they've had thelongest feud I've ever heard?
(04:18):
And that's what's funny, isthat?
You know it's cool.
If you want to fucking just bedifficult, to be difficult, the
other side of it is you guyshave to work together and make
millions, you know.
So if you're just going to likeKim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica
Parker, I get that a hundredpercent, because bitches don't
like each other.
(04:38):
Okay, I'm just going to tellyou that right now.
So bitches don't like eachother.
And it's because bitches act upand more than likely not to be
racist, white bitches act up.
Spanish bitches are way worse.
I'm spanish.
Okay, so spanish bitches actway worse because we don't care
about your feelings.
And we'll tell you when I wasyounger I didn't do it, but now
(04:59):
I do it.
I actually had this happen witha friend of mine named melanie
um a couple years ago when Ifirst moved down here, because
it just seemed to me and it'sprobably not what happened, but
it seemed to me that she wasobsessed with being my friend
and just obsessed with keepingthat connection from New York.
But how can I be friends withsomeone who asks me?
(05:20):
She says some crazy shit to me.
She goes if you were a lesbian,would you do me?
And then I was like sure, like,just so you know, just to like
get that question to go away.
And then afterwards she waslike hey, do you want to come
over?
What?
Now?
You asked me a question aboutif my sexuality was different
(05:43):
what I do you and then youinvited me over and then I'm
just supposed to believe youknow that everything's going to
be cool, like we're just goingto hang out, like you didn't ask
me that.
Let a couple days go by and thenask me to hang out, let the
refresh rate happen of my brain,to then be like, oh, she didn't
just ask me that.
And then when I hang out andthen I think something weird is
going to happen, but it justseemed like so it's, it's shit
(06:05):
like that.
So I don't get irked out aboutthat.
I love everybody, everybody'ssexuality is everybody's
business, but you can't ask me astrange question like that and
then me not think that you'regoing to try and put some moves
on me or roofie me or some shitlike that.
That's crazy.
Um, anyway, she was.
Uh, she was pretty chill untilshe wasn't, and it was at that
point, wasn't.
And it was at that pointactually, it was more when I
(06:26):
moved down here, because one ofmy exes tried to make it seem
like I was being a dick to heralso, but he also had some
problems that he wasn'tresolving either.
So I think he was projecting alot of his shit onto me, which
is fine, but also that's whyyou're an ex, so see you later,
bitch.
So, um, hitting the groundrunning really with this.
So back to the Robert De Niroshit.
So my grandmother said she saidthe craziest shit, she goes.
(06:50):
I can't wait to line up allthese celebrities and shoot them
and I want to be like.
First of all, you've never shota gun in your life.
So let's, let's dissect thissentence.
You want to line up celebritiesand shoot them.
This just makes me think ofthat office episode where they
had fucking Toby stand up and awhole bunch of other people Like
(07:11):
.
They were like if it was aHitler of Osama bin Laden and
Toby, who would you kill?
That was like the worst meetingever in an office.
That shit was hilarious.
So of course, they said youknow they would.
They said they would shootsomeone and then shoot Toby
twice, I think, is what happened.
That was fucking so stupid.
So, um, but back to mygrandmother's stupid nonsense.
(07:33):
She, she said that and I was.
I.
I asked my mother.
I was like, is your mother oncrack?
I actually called my mom andwas like, what's going on with
her?
Is she okay?
Like the only thing that sheever finds important is anything
on Facebook.
And it's not that way, bitch.
It's not.
Go touch grass, go touch cementsidewalks outside your
apartment, go smell thatdisgusting air in New York City,
(07:57):
go play with rats in a dumpster.
Find something else to do otherthan be on Facebook.
You know, just go stand intraffic.
No, I'm kidding, that's mygrandmother.
I shouldn't say that that'sfucked up, but like, go do
something outside instead ofworrying about who's leaving
fucking America because offucking Trump and all this,
whatever.
Who even cares?
(08:17):
He probably voted for Trump.
Um, maybe he just wants toleave, to leave.
I didn't read the article causeI don't give a shit, cause it's
Facebook.
So, and then she said somethinglike wait till they take Whoopi
Goldberg.
Who the fuck cares about thatcat lady with no eyebrows?
Who cares?
We're taking her opinion.
And then, first of all, whoopiGoldberg is probably making
money off royalties for shit,and she's lying to the public,
(08:40):
saying she's a working person.
She even said if I had millionsof dollars, do you think you
would see me on this show?
And I want it to be like yes,because what else are you going
to do?
What else are you going toshave off?
Your eyebrows haven't grownback.
I don't think I've never seen aperson.
So, by the way, she looks goodwithout them.
She looks good without them.
(09:00):
My thing is is that who caresabout whoopi Goldberg?
Also, my phone changed WhoopiGoldberg to Whooping Goldberg.
Hey, iphones, get it together.
And do you know why?
Millions of dollars is made bythat company.
Billions, probably trillions Idon't know what's above that but
billions in the billions ofdollars.
(09:24):
And this is what autocorrect isdoing.
If you could change the wordfuck to duck, you should
recognize whoopie Goldberg,unless that's like some petty
slights in which you don't wantto let me spell whoopie Goldberg
because you don't like her.
Maybe she's an Android user andthey have a thing against her,
who knows?
But don't change my shit towhooping Goldberg.
You know what I meant.
You know exactly what I meant,but don't change my shit to
(09:48):
whooping Goldberg.
You know what I meant.
You know exactly what I meant.
So another thing after we'redone with that rant on fucking
politics, celebrities and family, because my mom was like this
is what.
This is what ended it.
So this was the end all be allof the conversation that made me
laugh so fucking hard.
She goes.
I'm not even listening orresponding to her because she
didn't vote.
She goes.
Her opinion's not valid onanything political because she
(10:09):
didn't vote.
And the funny thing is is thatmy mom is right, because there's
no reason why she didn't vote.
Okay, they set that shit up inthe basement like not basement,
the lobby of her apartmentbuilding.
She could have went downstairsnaked and voted Not that anyone
would have wanted to see that,but like she could have went
downstairs nakedly, trotting herway down there whatever, pulled
(10:31):
the lever for justice andfucking went back upstairs in an
elevator.
She's not even climbing stairs,she's in an elevator.
Bitch, you're taking an electricway of movement and fucking
justice pull, just like that.
An American justice pull.
(10:53):
Sorry, if you hear all thatnoise, that's me moving in my
chair.
This is why I do it from thecouch, so y'all can't hear me.
But I feel like there's a lotmore.
It's a lot more condensed,sound wise in here.
But we'll see.
We'll see, oh God.
(11:13):
Anyway.
So American justice pool.
What the fuck Phone?
You're not going to tell methat's not my passcode to get
into my phone, all right.
So there's another thing thathappened this week, and it was
this week.
So I didn't have much trafficlast week in my mind, except for
my grandmother saying crazyshit about celebrities.
So let me tell you somethingthere is hanger in this world
(11:34):
and there's having conversationwhen appropriate, all right.
So here's what happened, andI'm going to tell you this story
from my side, because I don'tknow what this person was
thinking.
So I?
Um, since I'm still fairly newin my position, it hasn't even
been a month yet.
I don't think.
(11:55):
I think next Monday will be amonth since I came into this
role.
Sorry, I have to just click forjustice here.
No, I'm kidding, I have toclick to make sure it looks like
I'm active even though I'm notdoing shit.
Um, I literally don't haveanything to do.
Yet they have me sitting herelooking at videos and all this
other shit and I literally havenothing to do.
So there's that.
So I was.
(12:17):
So I slowly but surelyintroduced myself to people.
I've already spoken to this onedude.
His name's James.
He's really cool.
He's another reporting rep.
I was told as soon as I got mydesk that he would be really
excited that another reportingperson was going to be sitting
over here, so that he would havesomeone, I guess, to talk to or
bounce ideas off of whatever.
So I was excited for that.
And then he comes over.
He's really really nice butreally unobservant.
(12:43):
So one day I was I think it wasMonday, yeah, it was Monday.
So Monday I sit at my desk toeat.
Okay, I would like to be thetype of person that, just you
know, fucks off for my 30minutes.
But I can't do that.
I like to just be in a spacewhere I'm comfortable, because
if I go outside and eat in mycar I'm leaving, and I've
(13:05):
already told people that too.
I'm like, oh, that's a riskygame.
You're playing my coworkerAustin.
He's like that's risky.
You're playing like 50-50chance of not coming back.
So to me I think it's realrisky that you're going outside
to take a break and, just likeyou know, breathing in the air
(13:26):
of freedom, and then having togo back inside to deal with
nonsense.
Because I still see my oldteams chat.
They're fucking.
It's crazy for it not beingyear end that they're dealing
with all the shit they'redealing with.
So, anyway, I warmed up my foodin the break room, I came back
and, uh, I came back to sit downwith my food.
It was seasoned perfectly, likeI salted it correctly, and all
(13:48):
that.
It was turkey tenderloins withsweet, with mashed sweet potato
my fucking favorite from leancuisine right now.
That's one of the ones I'd berocking with.
So I sit down at my desk, Ihave my drink.
I'm about to pop open myfucking LaCroix.
Ooh, I have the limoncello ones.
I got to try.
I have too much LaCroix rightnow.
I keep forgetting when I ordergroceries that I order a case of
(14:09):
LaCroix every time.
I have two, four fucking casesof LaCroix two lime, one lemon,
one limoncello.
I have too much and not enoughroom in my fridge because I
finally restocked everything.
So we're busy.
We're busy in the fridge, soI'm sitting down about to pop
open my LaCroix excuse me and hecomes over and he starts
(14:33):
talking to me like this is himintroducing himself to me.
So this is like day one of memeeting this person.
Very nice but, like I said,very unobservant.
So I'm sitting there and he'slike hey, my name's James.
I didn't catch it in thebeginning row.
I had to literally get upTuesday to see his, his name
(14:56):
played on his desk to be like oh, that's what his name is,
Because I don't, I don't evenremember.
I don't even remember if hefucking introduced himself or
not, like by name.
I think he just came up and waslike oh, are you introduced
himself or not?
Like by name.
I think he just came up and waslike oh, are you Corinne?
I'm like yeah, and he's like,oh, okay, you're another
reporting rep.
And I'm like yep, and he's likeoh okay, and then just word
(15:24):
diarrhea for like five minutes.
Do you know how long that is?
In food years, that's perfecttemp, then room temp.
Then this is going to tastelike you just refrigerated it.
Microwavable food does not lastlong in air in room settings
once you've warmed it up.
So while this man is, you know,talking, talking, talking, I
think I get a break to like takea fork full of something and
(15:47):
then he starts talking again.
I got to put it down.
I'm like, oh my God.
So I'm just sitting there, I'mwide eyeing him.
He's staring me in my fuckingbrain.
It looks like that's how hard.
He's like looking into my faceand I'm staring back like bitch
if we had lasers, we would setthis whole place off.
And back, like bitch, if we hadlasers, we would set this whole
place off.
(16:07):
And he's talking and talking.
I'm like, oh yeah, that'sreally cool.
Yep, yep, doing the whole thing.
Like wow, what?
Like I'm listening.
But I'm also like bro, I'mtrying to eat.
Bro, I'm trying to eat.
Like you see the food in frontof me, do you?
I'm dying, I want to eat myfood.
So then of course, he just likehe goes away and I've.
He's real happy with himself.
(16:27):
And then I'm just looking downlike you're going to be a
pathetic piece of shit, aren'tyou?
To my lean cuisine.
I was like what a travesty of aday.
It's a Monday, it's slow asfuck.
Already.
I'm going to be in sometraining for the rest of the day
, which turned out you know whatit turned out to be okay with
the training, because it wasover a three.
I thought I was going to haveto stay till five, like every
(16:49):
day.
No, we were good.
We were definitely okay.
So again, very nice.
But please, man, if you see foodup like I'm literally about to
just get a sign at my desk thatsays on lunch and just stick it
over my thing, I think I hadthat, oh my God.
Yeah, I used to do that atValley View, the nursing home in
(17:12):
Goshen.
That's so hilarious.
I just remember that I made aname play for myself because
whenever I would step away,people would come up to my desk
and leave me notes like hey,where were you?
And of course I don't.
You know you're an adult, youdon't have to tell your manager
when you go to lunch, you justgo.
So I'm just going to make alittle thing for my desk that
says on lunch, and I'm going tohang it there on that, on the
(17:33):
little glass thing, so thatpeople can see it and not come
up to me, because people do thatall the time.
The only people that didn't dothat were my previous team,
because they knew if I waseating not the time.
So maybe I'll just do that.
Maybe that would just be easier.
It would just solve so manyproblems and then just don't
come up to me when I'm trying toeat.
Okay so, uh, that day, I thinkon my way home, was hilarious,
(17:59):
because what the fuck was?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
So I'm looking at these notesjust trying to make sure that I
know what the fuck's going on.
Okay, yeah, so this is going tobe good.
So I was driving home MondaySorry, I'm making myself laugh
because I'm so stupid I wasmaking my way home on Monday and
(18:23):
I was like, oh okay, traffic'sgoing to be ridiculous on a
Monday, which it always is.
It's not a surprise to me.
What was a surprise wasyesterday, because I got home on
a timely fashion and I was like, no fucking way, because I had
to take a detour.
So that's what pissed me off onmy way home Monday was because
Waze doesn't update its ass toknow that detours are there.
So I had to make a executivedecision and go left instead of
(18:47):
right yesterday, made it home ontime.
My food from Uber eats beat mehome.
That's hilarious.
And then I didn't realize thatTD bank does early pay.
So I got paid.
Um, I got paid early, two daysearly on fucking what you call
it.
I got paid yesterday and mypayday is tomorrow.
(19:08):
So that's cool, that's dope.
Apparently, more banks aredoing that now.
I think that's like the plusside of direct deposit.
I keep hearing weird noises.
I'm forgetting, I'm doinglaundry and I'm like come for it
, ghost, no, anyway.
So I was driving home Mondayand, uh, there's a part that
crosses over I-4, which is likethe main highway that goes East
to West of Florida.
(19:28):
So I'm crossing over this, I'mon this overpass and I'm
literally sorry I'm clicking inthe background, so my bubble
stays green, so nobody asked meshit.
So, uh, um, I'm driving home.
I know I've had a lot of workdone on my car lately and he
even the boyfriend even ran intothe carwash, which was very
(19:50):
nice.
I got to do it again before wego to see my parents, because
this weekend we were supposed todo my breaks, but I don't think
that's going to happen, so, um,so, yeah.
So I'm driving home veryobservant.
I'm looking at everybody's carand I'm like God, that guy's car
is so nice, like it's a littlebit dirty, but it's nice.
And of course he, this guy, hashis hand out and I feel like,
(20:20):
all right, this guy's already adouchebag.
He's got his hand, his lefthand, out the window.
He's got a gold watch on,probably some kind of Rolex or
something.
He's got a gold watch on hishand is out the window and a
stogie is in between his fingers, his pointer and his middle
finger, like a dickhead.
So he has a nice car, is dirtyas shit.
(20:45):
On the outside it's nice,though, besides the dirt, that's
a very nice car.
It's a Kia, something.
Okay, that car has to smell sofucking bad on the inside.
That car has to smell sofucking bad on the inside.
So fucking bad on the insideBecause if it hadn't been a nice
(21:08):
day out, you know that guywould have had his windows up
with the AC blowing the smoke ofthe cigar everywhere.
So it got me thinking about whatI would name that car and I
decided to call it the 2020 Kiacigar.
And I'm stupid for that,because who the fuck thinks of
that?
When they're sitting in traffic?
Who the fuck thinks of justnaming, naming cars, the the
(21:33):
thing that's happening in themLike I don't know it was.
It was just so weird but I waslike wow, that's.
I thought it was really funnyat the time, but right now,
thinking about it, I'm like wow,what a fool to sit in traffic
Like hey, I just bought a 2020Kia cigar and the horn sounds
like you honk the horn and it'sjust a cough and it just wheezes
(21:59):
when you put your foot on thegas, like that's how you
accelerate.
That's so stupid, because ifyou don't laugh in traffic,
you're crying or you're singingthe song from Malibu's Most
Wanted.
It's just traffic, trafficlooking for my chapstick.
That.
That.
(22:19):
That was my favorite part ofthat fucking movie.
Besides the fact that he goesout of all the shorties I
haven't been with you to finest.
That's amazing.
That movie's so dumb.
That was like one of the jamiekennedy's, like top movies, I
feel like.
And then everything else wentdownhill and now he looks crazy.
He looks like he ate jamiekennedy.
I think my dad, my stepdad'sfavorite part of it was that
(22:41):
Snoop Dogg was a rat namedRonnie Rizzat reprises that,
that's what he used to say,anyway, so what a stupid movie.
I'm looking forward toThanksgiving this year and I
have to say it's because I don'thave to do anything this year.
Last year my dad was in thehospital and because he was
going through his leukemia stufflike this this this time last
year there was shit happeningthat was so out of our control.
(23:03):
It was crazy, and we were justlike praying and hoping that
things would work out.
And it did.
He does immunotherapy, uh, oncea week, I think once a week or
once a month, I'm not sure.
I don't know the frequency, buthe does immunotherapy and so
far it's been working.
So, uh, everything seems to beworking out great, and the fact
that I don't have to cook thisyear is even better.
(23:24):
Last year I had to take over theduties because, uh, he was in
the hospital and he was the onethat does everything and my mom
ended up ordering like a Publix,uh Turkey thing, like a Turkey
dinner for like eight people.
So I had to do basicallyeverything and it was crazy, but
I did it and, uh, I was tiredand it it honestly made me sick
at the end of the day, like Iwas so tired that we just got
(23:45):
sick.
Well, I did, he didn't.
My boyfriend did not get sick.
I got sick.
I was enjoying the food and Iwas, like, on the way home I was
like, oh my God, my stomach,like not crying, but just like
holding my stomach, like pleasejust let me get home.
Like not crying, but just likeholding my stomach, like please
just let me get home.
I don't want to shit my pantsin a car.
That's how bad I felt.
But yeah, also, I'm really,really getting sick of having to
(24:10):
, you know, deal with this whole.
Stop with the politics and videogames.
Okay, just stopped.
All right, I'm done with it.
Okay, my server is not a placefor that.
Okay, let's just be chill andplay video games.
All right, everybody's entitledto an opinion, but we're not
(24:33):
doing that, all right.
So I am laughing because one ofmy close people who listens to
this podcast started referencing, you know, gender fluidity.
Ok, I am not entertaining thatconversation.
Ok, I'm not entertaining thatthought process.
Stop it.
Stop it right now.
(24:54):
And you should know by now thatwe're not doing that here and I
love you, but we're not doingthat here and we're not doing
that here and I love you butwe're not doing that here and
we're not doing that here.
So I'm not going to keeptelling you Okay, just come in,
let's play video games, be cool.
You'll probably be butthurtbecause I put it in this episode
, but that's fine, because youknow me by now and you know I
say it out of love.
(25:15):
But cut it out.
Cut it out.
Poor David Coulier and hisfucking cancer, by the way.
And what's crazy about that isthat he is so ready to just be
done with life that that guy ismy fucking hero.
And could you imagine?
Could you imagine that JohnStamos is getting flack for
(25:38):
wearing a bald cap for DaveCoulier?
Let's take a gander at this.
Also, stop with the politics.
We're done with it.
The election happened is cool,let's move on.
Moving on to Dave Coulier,let's see, he's 61.
That's crazy.
Um, so recently Dave Couliercame out and stated that he is
(26:01):
going through, obviously, astage three, not Hodgkin's
lymphoma.
So, in support of his friend,because they were in fucking
full house together uh, johnStamos was wearing a bald cap,
okay, and posted in a picturewith like posed in a picture
with him.
So of course, dave Coulier hasto tell everyone politely to
shut the fuck up, because that'shis friend.
(26:24):
So Dave Coulier defends JohnStamos against negative comments
for wearing bald cap in supportof co-star's cancer journey.
True loving friend, john knowshow to cheer me up and I laughed
out loud when he arrivedwearing a bald cap.
Being a true loving friend andbrother, coulier wrote on
(26:46):
Instagram Dave Coulier isn'ttolerating any hate.
This is what the fuck needs tohappen.
This is what the fuck needs tohappen.
There's too many celebritiesthat come for each other and
then there's this shit, and thisis why they were on Full House
together.
This is it.
On Tuesday, november 19thth, thecomedic actor defended former
full house co-star john stamoson instagram after backlash
erupted the day prior over aseries of photos.
The pair shared.
(27:06):
The images featured john Ican't read the images featured
stamos, 61, wearing a bald capto support coulier, 65, amid his
cancer journey, leading somepeople to call out the general
hospital alum for beinginsensitive, since he could take
the cap off and have his hairback.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm sorry to see a bunch ofnegative comments as I've just
begun my cancer journey.
(27:27):
Kuye's post began.
It's our friendship, me andJohn, and this is how we're
handling a very tough time.
I'm a comedian and humor's whatdrives me.
I know John.
John knows how to cheer me upand I laughed out loud when he
arrived wearing a bald cap,being a true loving friend and
brother.
I've heard from so many peoplewho have been inspired enough by
my words and actions to saythat they are going to check in
(27:48):
with their doctors and getmammograms, a colonoscopy or a
prostate exam.
He continued I'm still going tolaugh in the face of adversity.
When I lost my sister Sharon,my mother Arlen, arlen or Arlene
, I don't know and my nieceShannon to cancer, we tried to
stay positive and we made eachother laugh through the worst of
it.
I'm choosing to spread the wordabout early cancer detection to
help people.
That's just who I am.
Kuye, who also turned thecomments off on the post,
(28:10):
concluded I wish nothing butlove for all of you.
Stamos shared the photos of himin the bald cap alongside Kuye
on November 18th.
The post also included imagesof Stamos shaving his longtime
friend's head and posing withCoulier and his wife Melissa.
Nothing like throwing on a baldcap and flexing some Photoshop
skills to show some love andsolidarity with my bro at D
Coulier.
Stamos wrote in the captionyou're handling this with so
(28:31):
much strength and positivity.
It's inspiring.
I know you're going to getthrough this and I'm proud to
stand with you every step of theway.
I love you.
Ps.
Melissa Kouya is the mostwonderfulest, your true lifeline
, he added.
The comments were quicklyflooded with criticism, with one
person writing so he's notreally supporting him.
He's posing, posting for aphoto op.
Another commented oh, butreally at John Stamos, you
(28:51):
didn't shave your head with him.
Unfortunately, this isn'tbrotherhood.
Your hair isn't that important.
Coming from someone who hasgood hair, I would never not
shave my head.
In true solidarity.
People also came to Stamos'defense, with some noting that
he can't shave his head due tohis acting jobs and others
sharing their own experiences.
As someone who has had cancerthree times, I never wanted
anyone to shave their head forme.
I think this is great andhilarious and I'm sure Dave
(29:14):
didn't really want him to shavehis head.
Couillet revealed his stagethree non-Hodgkin lymphoma
diagnosis on November 13th.
He shared that an upperrespiratory infection on October
led him to get tested.
He would eventually bediagnosed with cancer.
Three days later my doctorscalled me back and they said we
wish we had better news for you,but you have non-Hodgkin's
lymphoma and it's called B-celland it's very aggressive.
(29:34):
I went from I got a little bitof a head cold to I have cancer
and it was pretty overwhelming.
This has been a really fast,rollercoaster ride of a journey.
After receiving the news, heshared the information with his
full house family, includingStamos, candace Cameron Burr,
andrea Barber, jodi Sweeten,lori Loughlin, scott Weinger and
series creator Jeff Franklin.
I didn't want them to hear itfrom someone else, so I sent the
(29:55):
text message out, the actorexplained, adding that their
response from everyone wasimmediate.
It was just this outpouring ofI'll be there, you just name the
time, and I know you're ingreat hands with Mel.
But what can we do?
It really is overwhelming thelove we have for each other.
We've been there for so manyyears of each other and it's
pretty remarkable.
Everybody needs to mind theirfucking business.
You know what I mean.
Like you already know, johnStamos wasn't going to shave his
(30:16):
head, and if they have apersonal inside joke they want
to share with you, you shouldfucking be accepting and
receptive as an audience of whatpeople are trying to do.
I know that if a friend of minehad cancer, I'm not going to
shave my head and it's not outof selfishness.
But they know me and they knowI don't look good bald.
So that's the number one thing.
I actually saw myself in aSnapchat filter of being bald
(30:37):
and I look like my fucking uncle.
So don't ask me to do that,because I'm not going to do it.
I'll be like look, bruh,where's the bald cap at?
But here's the other thing why Idon't understand why people use
social media in such a toxicmanner and bring people down.
That's why, like that was theoh my God.
(30:57):
So the other toxic behavior isthrowing shit at celebrities.
Did anyone else remember thatwhen people were just fucking
attending concerts and throwingshit and hurting celebrities on
stages while either theyperformed or spoke or whatever?
This is the same thing.
You're throwing bottles oftoxic sludge at celebrities who
(31:20):
are sharing a special momentwith you.
And get over it that he didn'tshave his head for his friend.
When I look at that, I'm likeholy shit, he shaved his head
and he was like no bald cap.
And I was like, oh my God,thank God, who would want to see
John Stamos bald?
Who's looking for that?
I'm not looking for that,nobody's looking for that.
(31:40):
So, like if Dave Coulier andJohn Stamos have an
understanding, just fucking keepscrolling, you pieces of shit.
Stop being pieces of shit, justbe cool, scroll through a post
and be like, oh my God, that'sreally sad, dave Coulier has
cancer and move on with your day.
Not, oh fuck, john Stamos, hedidn't shave his head for his
(32:03):
friend.
Like, oh my God, the two thingsare never you know, never in
conjunction with each other.
Like one thing can be withoutthe other.
Like the two things don't needto be together.
We don't need someone.
People on the pros side and onthe cons side of everything Just
be chill.
Just be chill.
(32:24):
This has to be some bored groupof people.
I could not believe that thisis my generation doing that shit
.
I cannot, because my generationis tired.
Do you know why?
Because we work all the time.
We don't have time to makethese sassy remarks.
My generation is me basicallyreading this shit and going
(32:44):
what's wrong with people.
That has to be it.
Because I'm telling you ormaybe it's just my family
Because I'm telling you, if Ibrought this to my mother's
attention, she would be like whocares?
My mother would be like who thefuck cares that John Stamos
didn't shave his head?
Huh, who cares?
(33:06):
Nobody.
And that's my tagline, bro.
When anyone brings a problem tome, I'm so in the mode of who
cares.
It's not even funny, bro.
You ask me something like thething with George with the
overthinking of the email.
My thing with the who caressentence is crazy.
Every, every phrase of thesentence is who cares, because
(33:29):
who cares and who cares and whocares doesn't matter.
Stop attacking celebritiesbefore we have nothing to watch
anymore, before we have nothingto do on social media, but see
recipes and then criticize thoserecipes.
Oh, you should do that Like.
I've posted shit on TikTokbefore about stuff I've cooked.
And let me tell you something,I'm my own worst critic anyway.
(33:51):
So if I post something onTikTok, it's because I want to
share it with no other thingthan oh, look at that, that's
cool.
So I made something one day andsomeone commented on how I made
my, how I did my breading for mycutlets, and they're like oh,
next time you should blah, blah,blah, so it doesn't fall apart.
And you know what I said tothem.
I was like thank you, I'll trythe next time.
Like why don't we just pretend,just play the game with each
(34:14):
other, play the social mediagame.
Stop fucking being hateful.
And you know I need to.
You know I need them to knowthat this is wrong.
That's not how shit works inlife.
That makes people afraid to tryanything or do anything because
they already know they're goingto fail, because there's people
out there hoping against them,pushing back, saying you suck,
(34:36):
stop doing it, stop Unnecessary,anyway.
So like it's just, it's justenough.
Like poor fucking Dave Coulierand fucking John Stamos trying
to do something cutesy and funnyand someone turns it into some
stupid shit oh, he didn't reallyshave his head for him.
Fuck John Stamos.
And it's never going to be fuckJohn Stamos.
(34:56):
I'm sorry to tell you.
It's never going to be fuckJohn Stamos.
You know why?
Because he looks how he looksHim and Rob Lowe.
Never going to be fuck him.
Or Rob Lowe.
Because you know why they lookhow they look.
They're funny and they makegood shit.
Fucking watch Full House.
God damn it if you don't get it.
Just fucking watch Full House,god damn.
(35:23):
This fucking chair is so loud.
I'm getting so mad, also mefeeling old, uh, aging myself
with fucking full house.
By the way, I'm tired of peopleabbreviating shit that does not
need to be abbreviated.
I saw on Facebook the other day, uh, one of my friends that I
used to party with.
She's in my age range.
Okay, so I get it.
(35:43):
Uh, I'm 35.
I don't even know how old sheis.
I think she's younger.
She's recently married with akid, and why are we posting
abbreviations for shit when wecould just use other words?
I saw her post I S O, uggsconnect.
Post ISO, uggs Connect.
(36:07):
So me being me and being old,you know I had to look it up.
So I looked it up.
And ISO means in search of I'venever used it before.
If you've used that phrase forlike, if you use that
abbreviation before, this't foryou.
I S O in search of Uggs connect.
So I looked it up, got insearch of.
(36:28):
Just say you need to knowsomeone who knows someone.
Just say I need an Uggs connect.
We're going to be speaking inabbreviations one day and it's
just going to be so intolerableI'm going to end it, going to
(36:48):
end it for myself and be likethis is the last chapter of my
life.
This is the last page of thelast chapter of my life and it's
going to be called I'm done.
And it's because someoneprobably said, and it's because
someone probably said IMO, iso,asap, fyi, like some stupid shit
to me and I'm just going to belike bang and that's it, not
(37:12):
them myself, because I don'twant to hear it.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
You're not going to keepfucking.
There's so many things.
I watched this streamer.
His name's Sonny Sunset.
He's so fucking funny.
He uses so much lingo where I'mlike, yeah, I'm old, and then I
forget he's 26 and I'm like I'mreal old Cause.
I'm like what is he saying?
What is this?
I have to go on urbandictionary like a fucking old
(37:33):
lady in a library in the middleof the night trying to figure
shit out.
In a library in the middle ofthe night trying to figure shit
out.
I'm like what does cooked mean?
I know perma-fried, because I'mjust like you know what it
feels like.
It feels like when you, whenyou get Rosetta Stone and you're
(37:54):
learning words individually andthen you hear people use it
enough that you start to figureout what it is.
That's what it is for me.
I'm like oh fuck, that's whatthat means.
Yes, figured it out.
I'm like hell.
Yeah, now I know what it means.
Awesome, awesome, you know.
Just like, really quickly overit, like fuck, yeah, figuring it
out.
What a jackass I am.
(38:17):
Oh, man, but yeah, stop using,stop doing this shit.
We need to use words.
You know how we don't usescript anymore, or cursive as
they say, but I had to learn itin fucking what was it?
Middle school or yeah, I thinkit was middle school.
By the way, still waiting tohear back from the world trade
registry, from all theinformation I sent them.
Haven't heard back yet.
(38:38):
Fine, so stop usingabbreviations, because that's
all we're going to be speakingin.
Just like how we don't use anykind of math.
We learned who's using Asquared plus B squared equals C
squared to Pythagorean theoremtheir way out of life.
Who's using it?
I don't have any engineerfriends to tell me what math
(38:59):
they're using to build buildingsor structures or anything like
that.
I don't know who's still usingit, and I love that whole thing
of you know teachers used to sayyou're never going to have a
calculator in your pocket allthe time.
Yes, the fuck, we do.
You know what we got Apple.
You know what we got Android.
You know what we got Samsung.
We have all the shits now wherewe'll never need a calculator
(39:23):
outside of our phone ever again,unless you're taking some kind
of testing where you can't haveyour phone in front of you.
Then you'll need to get like aTexas instrument, something,
something, point oh, and thenthat's fine.
But it's also.
Don't you fucking go to sleepcomputer.
I am still here.
Sorry, my work computer triedto go night nights.
But yeah, the Texas Instrumentdays.
(39:45):
You know who's keeping them in?
The business Schools, schoolsand, like I said, maybe
engineers, because I don't knowanybody who's using that shit.
I really don't.
But yeah, so fucking fuck you.
Texas Instrument.
Those were the most expensiveshits.
When I was in school used to belike, hey, at least the best
(40:06):
thing about going to school wasat least they gave you
specifically down to the, thedetail, the slightest detail,
version line point, whateverthat you needed to have for
paper pencils.
What was that?
You needed like a 2.0 pencil orsome shit, I forget it the lead
type.
The lead type was what youneeded because they wouldn't
(40:28):
accept anything else, which isinsane, because we all use
whatever we want anyway.
I think that's where my penobsession began.
But down to the lead, down tothe lead type of the pencil,
okay.
And then, if you want it to becool and jazz up your life, you
would get a pen case and a wholebunch of other shit and then go
(40:49):
to school and be like, hey,look at my fucking Jan sport,
isn't it cute when you were kids.
Now it's like, oh my God, Ineed that Michael Kors or I need
that coach, or like I needcoach, I have a Dooney and Burke
.
I love it.
It's huge.
Now, and what's funny is I'vejust figured out that I'm
starting to carry less and less,because I have a book bag for
work now and all myextracurricular shit, like my
(41:11):
puzzle books and my book that Ilike to read.
I'm reading the Court of Thornsand Roses series right now and
I'm on the second book.
I really need to get back intoreading, by the way, because
that book is just getting beatup in that backpack for no
reason.
I keep that shit in thatbackpack along with my laptop
headphones and multiple micewireless mice that I've been
using lately.
They're all in that bag.
(41:32):
So we're there.
Yeah.
So thank God for schools withtheir very detailed school
supply list that you had to get.
And here's the worst part,though the the longer you waited
to get your supplies for school, the more that shit looked like
a heist happened, like Walmart,staples, all that shit.
(41:53):
They're like, yeah, we haven'trestocked yet, and I'm like but
you know, we're all startingschool, right, you know that
this is happening.
Why aren't you guys prepared?
I think that's where myfrustration with lack of
preparedness began.
Even though I was the biggestprocrastinator I still am, but I
don't need my parents to helpme do anything like science
projects and shit Like when you.
I don't know if I forgotbecause I didn't care about it
(42:16):
or I just forgot because Iforgot, as being a kid is, but I
always used to forget to tellmy mom about science projects,
and then I had to pull somethingout of my ass like the day
before Anybody else do that.
One day I fucking, oh my God,in like third grade, I made a
science project about waterwaves, and you know what I did?
I pulled out a fucking aluminumtray like one of those
(42:36):
casserole things and I put waterin it and I was like look,
throw the stone in, see how thepebbles create waves.
That was my project and Ipassed.
That was my project and Ipassed.
It was the simplest, most nonpreparedness of fucking projects
there ever was.
And now look at me.
(42:58):
Now look at me.
I have my own podcast now whereI can't shut the fuck up.
Meanwhile, I was always aterrible communications expert.
Well, I took a class on speechin college and it didn't do much
, it just made me sweaty.
I've never been comfortablewith people staring directly at
me while I'm talking Probablywhy I do this shit so that
(43:21):
nobody can see me.
But I do want to add a videoaspect to it at some point so
you guys can see my face.
But I don't think I'm ready forthat yet.
I do have to get back intostreaming, though.
I keep saying it.
I think next Wednesday is goingto be the day, so I might do.
I'm going to do a day streamand just chill, so I think
that'll be cool.
(43:41):
If anyone wants to stop by, youcan stop by.
I put my name, my Twitch name,in everything, every episode, I
think, or I'm going to.
But come on by, I think that'llbe cool.
Everybody say hello, give afollow, just hang out.
I think I'm going to playsomething slow.
I'm probably going to playsomething like story-based so
that I can chill and talk topeople that come in.
(44:02):
Um, I love a good story game,so that's going to be cool.
The phone, no, that's outside.
Okay.
So I had another question.
I wanted to ask you guys thisshit.
Not that you're going to beable to answer me, but I noticed
this in my team chat last week.
Yeah, last week, while I wasworking from home, someone
(44:24):
pinged in my new team chat uh,asking if anyone had any uh
toothpaste or mouthwash, askingif anyone had any toothpaste or
mouthwash.
And I was like, are peoplereally brushing their teeth at
work?
Is this really a thing?
I didn't think so and I, youknow, do whatever you want
(44:47):
hygiene wise.
Like lately, I have beenbrushing my teeth twice a day.
I know that's really stupid toadmit, but I've had bad teeth
hygiene habits and I'm trying toget better with it.
I'm telling you that app Lemon8 has me on such a chokehold
bruh.
I just got a new electrictoothbrush and I bought
mouthwash.
I've been doing that twice aday.
(45:07):
I might see you feel crazy.
Like even my gums are like whatthe fuck's going on with your
buddy.
What the fuck is going on here,buddy?
Um, shut up.
Sorry, I got a text.
Uh, okay, shut up, though.
And then game updates on myphone.
Stop it, bruh.
(45:28):
Um, I don't know for me.
I can't brush my teeth at work.
I think that's too much.
Um, unless you get, stop it.
Unless you get, uh, so, in thein the ladies room.
So I'm going to explain thelayout.
There's about, I think there'sFive stalls, five regular ones,
and then there's the, the biggerone that includes its own sink.
(45:49):
All right, the only way thatbrushing your teeth at work is
acceptable is if, um, the onlyway brushing your teeth at work
is acceptable is if you get thatone, if you get that stall,
okay.
And the only reason why I saythat is because it's private and
I don't want to see you brushyour teeth at work.
Um, you might not have gunk inthere, but if I see something
(46:10):
fall out of your mouth with thattoothbrush, I'm going to throw
up on you.
I'm going to walk up to you andtap you on the shoulder and
fucking throw up on your face.
And that's what's happening,because how dare you bring your
home habits into your office?
You know like I get it.
You want to be clean and shit,but are you making out with
anyone after lunch?
You're not making out withanyone.
(46:33):
You shouldn't even be thatclose to somebody that they can
smell your breath like that.
Like, I've been next to peoplewho I fucking know for sure have
not brushed their teeth afterlunch and their breath does not
smell.
So what are you doing?
Like you know, the only, like Isaid, the only probable way
(46:53):
that I would accept thathappening is if you get the
stall with the sink in it,because I will voluntarily walk
up to you and go hey, did youjust, um, did you just brush
your teeth?
Um, I think I saw a littlesomething, something in the sink
.
It'd be like oh yeah, you knowI had such and such for, and I'd
be like this Okay, hang on asecond, stick my finger down my
(47:14):
throat and go all over them,cause that's what you deserve.
I don't want to see a Scoobysnack fall out of your fucking
mouth.
Okay, leave that shit at home.
Do a little flossy floss actionand pick the garbage out.
No, do it at home.
Keep it to yourself.
Do it at home.
That's a no-no for me.
(47:34):
Get in the stall with the sink,because if you're at the
communal sink area, if you seethat that stall is not available
, wait to brush your teeth untilfucking it's available.
That's it.
And I realized something elseconsidering that this is now
heading in a work-related manner, even though I have no clients
(47:57):
whatever, I still be justchit-chatting about work.
It's very chill right now.
I'm very chilling.
I was laughing because I'mmaking quite the impression at
work, I guess, because I justI'm being like super chill about
everything and hold on a second.
What the fuck's going on here?
(48:17):
Why is it acting like it's notconnected?
It is connected.
Um, it's so silly to me becauseif the, if the sound quality on
this shit is fucked, then we'refucked and that's it.
But I think we should be good,we'll see.
I have that magic mixer on.
I'm going to be so pissed offif this sounds like shit, to be
honest with you, but the thingisn't blinking, so it has to be
(48:41):
connected.
Anyway.
So I just realized that I liketo play around with my phrasing
with people and I realized thatthat's the impression I'm making
on people at work, that I justlike to play.
And the reason I like to playis because what else am I doing
so like.
I had a conversation with mymanager yesterday.
(49:01):
It was my first one-on-one withher.
I made them Wednesdays at like1130 so that we could have some
chill time and she's very nice.
She's very cute, very tiny.
We bombed in on video games andstuff and I just realized you
know everything I say to peoplein this office now it's very
much for play.
Like I just play with people,like I'm like oh yeah, like
(49:22):
being cute and shit, like, yeah,that sounds really fucking
annoying, but it's just.
You know, I can't be seriousall the time, otherwise I won't
make it to breath.
I will not fucking make it inthis place.
So I have a lot of fun.
I talk to people.
There's this one chick thoughthat you know older lady, that
really just gets me so madbecause it's like hey man, can
(49:43):
you just be cool?
Why do you keep looking overhere?
Like she keeps looking at mydirection, which isn't at me,
okay, but again I keep catchingher eyes.
She's looking at the personbehind me who is supporting her
while she's working, which islike another person just
answering questions for you, andit's just bruh.
Bruh, just fucking stop lookingthis way, cause I don't know
(50:06):
who you're looking at and you'redriving me crazy, like cause I
keep looking at her and I'm like, oops, like I have to make this
, oops, I'm sorry face.
And she just does it all thetime she goes.
And what's funny is she's likeyou know she's going to be so
happy to get sick of us.
We are, so I'm so sorry thatyou have to deal with how loud
we are.
And I'm like, oh, my God, bro.
So I look at her and she goes.
(50:35):
She's so quiet over there andwe're making so much noise and
I'm like, oh, you're so cute.
Do you think I'm quiet?
Oh, child, you're older than me, but I'm going to call you old
child.
I'm not quiet, I just don'tknow you or like you.
Yet, like yesterday she had thislong ass, she had this loud ass
conversation about how, oh, Iraised my kids on my own because
(50:57):
I didn't have a husband and Iwas like, oh, fucking, fucking,
fucking, fucking shit.
And I told a coworker of minenamed Jamar and he's like, tell
her to save it for Christmasparty, which seems like that's
the only place that that'sappropriate is when you're drunk
.
I don't believe she was drunkat work.
If she was, praise her, becausethat's amazing.
(51:18):
Praise her for doing that theright way.
I love a good drunk lady atfucking Christmas parties.
They always got the bestfucking stories.
I really don't know why thisthing is blinking at me.
I'm really hoping the shitstayed connected, otherwise I
don't know what the soundquality is going to be like.
I'm going to be really pissedoff.
But yeah, that lady was so loud.
(51:38):
She was like well, you know, ifyou have to like not even just
a loud about her shit, loudabout the other lady too.
Apparently, I just learned fromthe fact that this lady is
pumping breast milk is becausethis lady is just shouting her
shit out.
Hey, this meeting is not untilthat.
That that.
So if you have to go pump, gopump, lady.
Give everyone a break.
(51:58):
Give everyone a break.
Just sit down and work.
All right, just be sit down andbe pissed off that this internet
is cycling, like the rest of us, and stop talking about other
people's shit.
Like that's so crazy to me.
Like bro, we are not here foryou to talk about other people's
shit.
Like that's so crazy to me.
Like bro, we are not here foryou to talk about other people's
business.
All right, so figure it out,settle down.
Sit down, be quiet, be serene.
(52:22):
Be someone who I want to sitnear how about that?
Be someone who I want to sitnear with whatever, or someone
who I want to entertain theirfucking conversation, because
every time she looks at me, Ilike have a headphone in and
she's like stop looking at me,just stop looking in my
direction.
I'm just going to keep my headdown until you fucking know my
(52:42):
name.
Say it and look at me.
All right, all right, let's getit together.
Also, save all your drama forChristmas.
I'm going to sit next to you.
Hear all of it.
Oh, yesterday, during lunchlunch, hmm, this was so good.
I have to end it with this one.
I didn't think this was gonnabe a long one this time.
Uh, I was laughing because I,you know, I grabbed my little
(53:03):
lean cuisine.
I fucking just sit down.
I mean, I microwaved my littlelean cuisine.
This lady came over with like analuminum foil casserole dish
and she fucking starts.
You know, I was like, oh cool,she brought like that might be
leftovers from like something.
Like maybe she brought somelunch for her and someone else.
No, bruh, that entire fuckingcasserole dish thing was her
(53:27):
lunch.
And I'm like ma'am.
I want it to be like ma'am.
You know, tupperware exists,tupperwares exist.
If it doesn't fit in one,there's plenty of other ones you
could have bought to.
You know, compensate for that.
Sorry, I couldn't think of theword.
But like she brought like thatnine by 13 casserole thing.
(53:50):
It was deep and I was like ohGod.
So she pulled out like itlooked like Turkey, like Turkey
and mashed potatoes and stuffingand shit.
And I'm like you knowThanksgiving's last, like next
week, is this from lastThanksgiving?
I was just like Whoa bro, howyou bringing a whole thing like
that.
You obviously know everybody'sgoing to be staring at you
because it looks like thisshould be like a dinner for four
and it's just for you.
(54:11):
And it's little scoopings.
It's not even enough to fillthe casserole dish.
It's little scoopings of herlunch.
I'm like where did she evencome from?
Did she even put that in thefridge?
Like I had so many questionsand I was just like you know
what Life is going to be?
Life, I guess.
And I'm like I guess I'm justdealing with life as everybody
else is.
Because I guess and I'm like Iguess I'm just dealing with life
as everybody else is, cause.
(54:32):
Then my other thing was is thatthe boyfriend sent me a Tik TOK,
hilariously enough, and it hadsome guy getting a Baskin
Robbins Turkey, like, apparentlyBaskin Robbins does this thing,
that where they will make aTurkey that looks like ice cream
in the shape of a Turkey.
It's crazy.
And it's got the brown outsidewhich I'm guessing is like a
(54:53):
hardened caramel shell andwhatever flavor of ice cream you
want in the middle, so itlegitimately looks like a
fucking Turkey.
My problem is not that, becausethat would be a cool ass
dessert.
My problem is the fact that hehad it in a car, number one, so
that shit is slowly meltingwhile he's talking.
And number two, excuse me,number two, dry up over here.
(55:19):
Number two fucking straw, stophitting my fucking computer
monitor, you're making it sticky.
Um, number two he's, he'sfucking.
He pulls out actualThanksgiving sides.
He's fucking.
He pulls out actualThanksgiving sides, all right.
So it's not the fact that he'sgoing to eat dessert, it's the
fact that he is combining thatwith actual mashed potatoes,
(55:39):
corn gravy stuffing.
Sir, this is Big Mac activities.
Show us like.
What he could have done was hecould have made that shit look
like dessert as well.
Like if Baskin Robbins doeslike some dessert, like that
shit, and they have somethingthat looks like fake mashed
potatoes or fake corn or fakegravy.
Why are you combining the mealwith the dessert at the same
(56:01):
time?
That's some big back activity.
Anyway, it just made me so sick.
I was like I was on board.
I was on board Maybe not withthe flavor of ice cream you
chose.
You chose chocolate chip, like alittle freak, because in a
turkey you would never see brownspots like that, black spots
like that, and if you do, youshould throw that turkey out and
(56:22):
go to the hospital.
But like no, we're not mixingice cream turkey with fucking.
We're not mixing ice creamturkey with fucking real mashed
potatoes, real corn, real gravy,real stuffing.
It's not.
It's not how it's going to work.
And you're also not going toeat that in the car, because
that shit should be slip slidingall over the place.
And you should have seen thefucking knife he pulled out.
It was like he was a goddamnsamurai and he couldn't even cut
(56:45):
through it.
He goes damn Timu knife.
And I'm like why are you buyingcutlery off Timu?
Go to the store like regularpeople or you know why are you
carrying a knife in your car tocut ice cream.
Unbelievable.
Excuse me, my throat gets alittle dry, um, but yeah, so
(57:07):
that guy, I don't know, I didn'teven finish it, I was just so
disgusted.
I was like, all right, that'stoo much.
But so people be acting up, Iguess, around the holidays.
Um, we are almost in the lastmonth of the year.
I think that's crazy.
Um, I'm not changing shit aboutmyself.
So everybody forget it.
New Year's resolutionseverybody forget it.
(57:27):
So I love y'all for listening.
Thank you so much and I'm goingto try, and you know, keep
these going on Thursdays.
I am going to record nextWednesday so that I can put it
out on Thanksgiving.
You obviously don't have tolisten to it until you feel like
it, but I am not going to skipa day because of a holiday and
if I do, I'm going to find likean old episode of something else
to stick in between, because Ifound all my episodes from my
(57:49):
other podcast and that's justhilarious.
I couldn't even believe I foundall of them, which is so funny.
I got to figure out what theconnection issues is with this
fucking lavalier mic, but I'llcatch on next week.
Really, love you, guys and Ihope you had fun listening and
enjoyed this time.
I really enjoy spending timewith you all.
You have a great rest of yourday and enjoy your upcoming
(58:10):
weekends, and I'll see you nextweek.
Love you guys, bye.
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