September 11, 2025 • 35 mins
What happens when the love and emotional safety we needed as children wasn’t there? Ellen is joined by Dr. John Trent and Kari Trent Stageberg to talk about a biblical framework that can lead to emotional and spiritual healing. They unpack the five key elements of the Blessing, share stories of redemption from their own journeys, and offer practical steps for walking forward in faith. Whether you're carrying childhood wounds or helping others heal, this conversation is a hopeful reminder: your broken story isn’t the end — God can write a new one.
Want more? Check out Kari and John's new book, Your Journey from Broken to Blessed: Finding the Love You Didn't Receive
Scriptures referenced:
- Ephesians 1:1-2:10
- Deuteronomy 30:19
- Genesis 27-28
- Deuteronomy 23:5
- Isaiah 43:1
Tim Keller podcast: Why Do We Need Artists?
John's and Kari's faves:
The New Testament in Modern English | Contemporary Comparative Parallel Bible | No Boundaries Books Journal | Blue Letter Bible | Daybreak Coffee | PRAYR
Want more from this conversation?
Join our Coffee and Bible Time Community for exclusive bonus content you won’t hear anywhere else—including extended podcast episodes, behind-the-scenes extras, and our weekly book club led by Ashley, Taylor, Mentor Mama, and special guests. Come grow with us!
📖 Struggling with Bible study? We wrote a book for you. Check out The EASY Bible Study Method, a guide to both enrich and simplify your time in Scripture. Want to read an excerpt? Click here!
💌 We want to stay in touch!! Check out our newsletter here 💞
🤝 To support the work of Coffee and Bible Time, donate here
💗 See what Ellen, Taylor, Ashley, and guests are loving on Amazon
https://coffeeandbibletime.com
Some of the links in this episode may be affiliate links, meaning if you click through and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ellen Krause (00:04):
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and I'mso glad that you're here.
Today's episode touches onsomething incredibly personal,
something that's incrediblyimportant and, for many of us,
(00:45):
incredibly painful.
It's what happens when we growup without the love, affirmation
and emotional safety we longedfor from our parents.
Today, we're diving into theimpact of missing love and
connection in childhood, thecoping strategies that often
(01:06):
follow and, most importantly,how God can bring healing, hope
and a new legacy.
I'm honored today to be joinedby Dr John Trent and Carrie
Trent Stageberg, afather-daughter duo with a deep
passion for helping people healfrom emotional wounds and find
(01:27):
freedom in the love of Christ.
Dr John Trent is the presidentof Strong Families and a
nationally known speaker withmore than 20 best-selling books.
He's also a husband of over 35years, a dad and a very proud
grandfather.
Carrie Trent Stageberg is theCEO of Strong Families and a
(01:49):
speaker in her own right whoseheart for helping others is
shaped not just by her work butby her own journey of healing
and redemption.
She's a wife, a mom to two boysand a powerful voice of hope
for anyone longing for emotionalwholeness.
Together, john and Carrie havespent years guiding people
(02:09):
toward emotional healing,helping them break free from
painful generational patternsand leading them into the kind
of love that only God canprovide.
Please welcome Carrie and John.
Kari Trent Stageberg (02:24):
Wow, that has to be the best.
John Trent (02:26):
Let's just close in prayer.
Kari Trent Stageberg (02:27):
I know I was like we need to hire you to
write our bios.
That was.
I'm gonna go copy down thatthanks, ellen.
John Trent (02:35):
It's an honor to be with you, I feel encouraged.
Ellen Krause (02:39):
You are most welcome, but rightfully so.
I just am thrilled for ourlisteners to be able to get a
glimpse into what you havepoured your life into studying
and helping others, so why don'twe start out with you guys just
introducing yourselves andsharing a little bit about your
(03:00):
ministry and what you do?
Kari Trent Stageberg (03:04):
Yeah, I had the privilege for 10 years
of working with a guy named GarySmalley, who was one of my best
buddies and we did a lottogether.
And then Gary semi-retired, sowe started our own ministry.
It started off as calledEncouraging Words and then,
right before 9-11, okay, on 9-10, I woke up in the middle of the
(03:27):
night and you know, I'm, youknow, pretty Presbyterian, so
the Lord, I wish, woke me upmore than he does, you know.
But I was like we need tochange the name of our ministry.
Encouraging Words is a greatname, but it was like no, you
need to change it to strongfamilies, because that's what is
really needed.
And so we changed our name andthe next day was 9-11, you know,
(03:51):
and the towers fell and it waslike, oh my gosh.
We certainly need encouragingwords from God's word, but, boy,
more than ever I think we needstrong families as well.
And then a few years go by andCarrie joins up.
So, carrie, tell them what wedo now.
Yeah, yeah Well, and I am superblessed to get to do this with
(04:11):
my dad, and I mean, if you hadtold either one of us, I think
even 15, 20 years ago, that wewould be doing this together, I
think we both would have laughedfor very different reasons.
But I was the kid that grew upwith the blessing and with
healthy attachment that ended upwalking away from faith and
family and found myself in themiddle of an abusive
relationship, which is reallywhere I met the Lord, and God
(04:34):
brought me out of that.
A few years later, I ended upmeeting my incredible husband,
Joey, and now we've got ourwonderful boys and I've just
watched God redeem and heal somuch.
But it really was the blessingwhich is the core of what we do
at Strong Families that broughtme home and my parents choosing
to live it out, even when it washard and even when both of them
(04:54):
grew up in homes where theydidn't grow up with it, and so
they really walked this journeyof broken to blessed.
I've walked it in a later seasonand so I don't know.
You know some of you areprobably going, you know, like
maybe you were like me and youwere really blessed to have
truly wonderful parents and awonderful childhood, but maybe
there's something else thathappened that really kind of has
made you question is thatblessing still valid?
(05:16):
Do I still have worth?
Do I still have value?
God, can you really changewhat's happening in this season
of my life?
And so I hope that we can sharesome of that hope, which is
what we try to do at StrongFamilies.
Ellen Krause (05:31):
Yes, oh, it's incredibly helpful and I know it
starts around this concept ofthe blessing.
John Trent (05:39):
Yeah.
Ellen Krause (05:39):
So can you explain for our listeners what it is
and how you first encountered ordeveloped it?
Kari Trent Stageberg (05:47):
Yeah, well , you know you're right.
I mean we hear blessing todayand it's what you do if somebody
sneezes, or it's just used in alot of different ways.
We have blessings in Christ.
I mean when you are in Christ.
Think about the book ofEphesians, read chapter one and
chapter two, and you know hepours out every spiritual
(06:14):
blessing.
You are loved and sealed andadopted and redeemed and
restored and all of thoseamazing things you know.
But it's interesting inDeuteronomy 30, 19,.
It says, boy, the Lord says Iset before you a choice life or
death.
Now choose life in Christ.
Right, I mean that's whereblessing comes.
But once you choose life inChrist, then it says now choose
blessing over curse.
(06:35):
Curse means to subtract, to damup this dream.
Blessing means to add Bow theknee.
That's the word.
Picture behind it, that's anattitude.
Here's somebody that's reallyvaluable.
Now you pick up your kids todayyou don't have to literally bow
to them, but it's that attitudethat they're really valuable.
But then it's also like addinga coin to a scale where you add
(06:57):
to their life.
So when you bless somebodybecause they're so valuable, you
add to who they are, you add totheir life.
You know it's interesting, butGod blesses us first, but then
he calls us to bless others, andthat's what we're really
talking about.
Did you grow up with somebodythat was crazy about you?
So, ellen, let me just ask you,when you were 10 years old, you
(07:21):
come home from school and let'ssay everybody's there.
You know, who was just crazyabout you, there
Ellen Krause (07:32):
anybody there, that was just crazy about you
growing up?
?
You , I would say boy, thiscould be a whole therapy session
, I think, but I'm not going tolet it go there, because I've
had my share of that.
But honestly, and I'll be quitetransparent with you, like that
was a hard season because myparents had just gone through a
(07:52):
divorce, and so I had a strongrelationship with my dad and he
wasn't there and he would havebeen the person, and even though
he wasn't in our home as muchanymore, he definitely was that.
I think my mom was reallystruggling at that time and so
things were hard for her.
But I can think of other peopleyou know, like my next door
(08:16):
neighbor who I thought wasamazing and we spent a lot of
time together.
So it's a mixed bag.
John Trent (08:24):
No, it is, but see, that's the reality, I think,
for a lot of time together.
So it's a mixed bag?
No, it is, but see, that's thereality, I think, for a lot of
us.
So you know, I grew up in asingle parent home.
My mom and dad divorced when Iwas two months old, my dad took
one look at twins.
I had an older brother andtwins and bailed out, you know.
So I never got the blessingfrom my dad.
He wasn't there.
But you know, my mom wasworld-class of blessing but then
(08:45):
she gets rheumatoid arthritisand she was so sick and we had
no money growing up singleparent home, so she ends up in
Indiana getting all thesesurgeries we're raising ourself
with.
My older brother was really,you know, uh, the one that was
taking care of us, and what I'mgetting at is is so for some of
us, man, you know, we, you knowI hope every person here
(09:09):
listening got the blessing fromeverybody around them, including
their pets, kind of a thing.
But for some of us we grew upwithout it.
And, carrie, then you grew upwith it.
But then again that abusivetime, you can have the blessing
ripped out of your life later onas well, right, yeah?
Kari Trent Stageberg (09:27):
absolutely .
And, Ellen, I just wanted tosay thanks for letting us put
you on the spot and beingvulnerable with that question.
And you know, I think we hearthat all the time when we do
coaching with people is that youknow there wasn't anybody, or
it was the dog.
The dog was the only one thatwas excited I was coming home,
or there was that teacheroutside of outside of home.
There was somebody else.
(09:48):
But I mean, for so many of usthat's just the reality.
And then again, like I said,for others, maybe maybe we did
grow up with a home where peoplelit up or we knew people in God
were crazy about us, but westill had a choice to make, or
maybe we're in a season whereit's just really hard to believe
that that's actually real.
John Trent (10:07):
Yeah, right, right so that's really where it
started.
As a counselor, I was in apsychiatric unit working there.
So I'm sitting with this guyfor about four hours.
He's on suicide watch.
He had tried to take his lifeand it was so interesting.
You know, Alan, I just feltlike you know he, he had tried,
he had just got his first B asin boy, not D as in dog as a
(10:30):
senior in college and hecouldn't go home because he felt
like if he went home he'd never, never get his dad's.
But he didn't say blessing, buthe had never.
His dad was straight A's, hewas straight A's.
This was a non-major PE course.
His dad was straight A's, hewas straight A's, this was a
non-major PE course.
And he sucked at PE and he getsa B in PE and he literally
tried to take his life.
(10:51):
And if his roommate I think bythe grace of God hadn't showed
up, it would have beensuccessful.
But I got home that night andthe next day I'm teaching
Genesis 27 and Genesis 28.
In a Sunday school class whichis about Jacob and Esau.
Remember those twins?
I'm a twin and so my mom alwaysliked Jeff best Not really, but
(11:16):
the point is that you know,here's one twin and Jacob gets
the blessing Right.
Okay.
Please come close and hold me,my son, and he kisses him and
tells him see, the smell of myson is like the smell of the
field that the Lord has blessed.
May God give you the dew ofheaven and the fatness of earth
and abundance of grain and newwine.
(11:36):
So he gives him this greatblessing right.
Well, in comes Esau, and hedoesn't get it.
And when Esau heard the wordsof his father that he would
never get the blessing, he criesout with an exceedingly great
and bitter cry.
It says, and he goes bless me,even me also, oh my father.
And he repeats himself.
(11:57):
He says do you have only oneblessing?
Bless me, even me also, oh myfather.
So, so, ellen, that's really.
It was in that moment.
I mean, it was like scales felloff and now I had a name for it
.
What I realized was I wassitting with somebody and all
that hurt, all that, please, dad.
I had said that a thousandtimes Dad, show up.
(12:19):
You know where are you, youknow?
And then, when I did meet him,and he was an angry alcoholic, I
wished I hadn't met him andthen I used to hate my dad and
then I became a Christian andintensely disliked him and then
finally realized, as I began togrow in Christ, I needed to
forgive him because I wasbecoming just like him.
Do you see what I mean?
So it was so interesting.
That was when I thought, oh mygosh, the blessing was when I
(12:48):
thought, oh my gosh, theblessing.
That's what now, again, god'sblessing is phenomenal, but it
is what, I think, what equips us, what fills us up.
We'll be able to get into thisman when you grow up without the
blessing.
It is when you find God'sblessing that you're able to
give it to people, even peopleyou never thought you ever would
give it to.
So that's really where ourwhole ministry has been.
(13:11):
Look, you don't have to beperfect.
You can be like Ellen, you canbe like John, you can be like
Carrie and be broken, and yet inChrist you can move to blessed.
And so that's really what thisbook is about and what we get to
talk to you about today, whichis so much fun.
Ellen Krause (13:33):
Yes, and it's just kind of the whole story of
Christ taking that brokennessand turning it completely around
into something of a blessing.
Wow, okay, so you share that?
There's five elements of theblessing, yeah, why don't you
tell us a little bit about thoseand help us understand why
these particular things are soimpactful in helping someone
(13:53):
feel valued and secure?
Kari Trent Stageberg (13:56):
Yeah, and I can do that.
So the five elements of theblessing the first one is
appropriate, meaningful touch,and it's really.
I mean, there's so many studiesabout the health and physical
and mental and emotional benefitof touch.
Whether it's a baby in a NICUor even somebody who's in
physical pain, if they havesomeone that's holding their
hand, their pain levels go down,their blood pressure lowers.
(14:18):
So there's so many things thatthe Bible and science tell us
about the importance of touch.
But it also can be bright eyes,and the Bible tells us, you
know, bright eyes makes theheart glad.
There's a really phenomenalbook called the Other Side of
Church, our friend Jim Wilderwho helped write this book.
He's a neurobiologist andessentially what happens is if
(14:38):
you walk into a room andsomeone's eyes light up when
they see you, their eyesbrighten.
Our brain translates that asjoy, and so really that's that
appropriate, meaningful touch.
That's the first element.
The second is spoken or writtenwords, which means we need to
hear it, and I think for so manyof us we hear this all the time
.
Well, I knew that they loved me, but they never said it.
(15:00):
Well, they may have been proudof me, but they never said it.
Well, they may have been proudof me, but I never heard it.
And so we need to use our wordsto add, like he was saying, to
add like a coin to a scale, toadd weight to somebody's life,
to add value to their life.
Well, what do we need to add?
Well, we need to attach highvalue, which really is how do we
help them get a picture of theunique way that they were
(15:20):
created?
What are their unique, specific, god-given strengths that God
has given them?
And the beautiful thing aboutthose strengths is they're not
just for them, they're actuallyfor us to be able to use to
bless and encourage others,which brings us to that fourth
element, which is special future.
So how do you see God beingable to use them and use those
(15:40):
unique strengths in a way thathelps them get a picture of what
could be ahead?
And I want to focus on this onereally quick, because not only
do I think that this is the onethat's most under attack today,
because here's the reality Ifthe enemy can convince us that
we don't have a purpose or wedon't have value, he can take us
out of the game, whether that'semotionally or sometimes,
(16:02):
unfortunately, even physically.
He can really warp our mindsaround.
Well, what is there?
Even a future?
And the other side of it is toois sometimes we're hesitant to
want to bless someone in ourlives because maybe they're not
living in the fullness of whothey were created to be.
And I want to tell you thisright now it was my dad choosing
to say hey, carrie, here's whoyou are, here's truths about who
(16:25):
you are.
When I was in a season where Ididn't see him, that allowed me
to begin to walk forward andeventually be able to claim
those as true.
So this is not saying that youthrow boundaries out the window,
but this is saying that youabsolutely can give someone a
picture of who God created themto be and how God can use them
when they choose to make thatdecision.
And then the fifth and finalone is genuine commitment, and
(16:47):
that's really saying I'm goingto be there when things are good
, when things are bad, as longas God gives me breath, I'm
going to be there for you in anyway that I can you know and
help you live out the way thatGod has created you to be in
that special future.
And again, we're not sayingthrow boundaries out the window,
we're not saying becomecodependent, but we are saying
(17:08):
that there is a way to be therefor somebody in a healthy way or
speak life and blessing overthem when they really need it,
even if the relationship isincredibly challenging.
And that's where God and hisgrace coming into our lives
allows us to heal and to forgive, and then we can maybe even go
bless someone who never gave usthe blessing.
Ellen Krause (17:27):
Yes, oh, I just loved reading about that and
learning about these differentthings and, of course, as I was
reading it, I was thinking aboutmyself and different people
that did attach high valueSomeone, a teacher, who was
instrumental in helping mevisualize my future.
(17:51):
And I love the fact that we canlike even if we didn't receive
it.
So, for example, I was given upfor adoption.
So the meaningful touch part Idon't think happened, like since
it was a while until I wasadopted, but I love that.
You know, later on, like now, Icherish every hug that my
(18:16):
husband gives me, like just thatit's redeemable, so to speak.
Yeah, yeah wow, wow.
John Trent (18:25):
Well, and that's.
You know that's so redemptiveand you mentioned earlier you
know it's a story was tim keller?
Did he ever jump on yourpodcast?
uh, do you know, I wish, yes,yeah, yeah well, he, you know
what's interesting, I was, uh,somebody sent me a podcast that
he did of Of course he's withthe Lord now, you know, but he
(18:46):
was such a great thinker andeverything, and it's interesting
that he was with a bunch ofactors in New York City and,
because he was fearless, youknow, he'd go right in the midst
of the world and talk aboutJesus, you know, and bottom line
is, is he talked about how, howimportant they were, because
they tell stories and there'sthat sense in which, as he, you
(19:10):
know, began to talk that all ofus, our, our life is like a
story, you know, written by thehand of God.
And so what we're here to say,the exciting thing is, is that,
okay, that story might havestarted off for a lot of us, or
maybe it is today, not where wewant it to be, but there is a
(19:30):
way.
Deuteronomy 23.5.
Now, I don't have any tattoos,but if I was going to get a
tattoo and I'm not suggestinganybody add any more tattoos
okay, tattoo this on your brain,maybe.
You know.
Deuteronomy 23, five.
Here's where it says but now,the Lord, your God, was not
willing that Balaam.
Now, balaam was this guy thatwas hired by people that didn't
(19:53):
like God's people to curse them.
Right now, most of us hadpeople in our life.
You know, you didn't have topay my dad.
He just bailed out because hechose to.
It wasn't nobody was paying himto do it.
But here's Balaam.
The Lord was not willing to letthat person, whoever it was,
curse you.
The Lord, your God, turned thecurse, all that subtraction,
(20:17):
into a blessing for you becausethe Lord, your God, loves you,
into a blessing for you becausethe Lord, your God, loves you.
And so, as we get into thiswhole broken to blessed part,
I'm so grateful.
For me, it was a young lifeleader, this big six foot four X
Chico State football player,who showed up to me.
I got to see him and his familyall live out God's love, and
(20:37):
he's the one that invited me tomake a choice.
And we get to do that.
We get to choose man once youcome in Christ and you get all
those blessings.
Well, now you're ready to gobless others.
So it's a journey, it's a story, but God can rewrite the story.
Ellen Krause (20:55):
Yes.
Kari Trent Stageberg (20:56):
Absolutely .
Ellen Krause (20:57):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Well, I know that we have somany people listening that could
be anywhere on that spectrumthat you've talked about.
If you could give them onepiece of practical steps that
they could take to start thehealing process, what would that
(21:19):
be?
Kari Trent Stageberg (21:19):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Why don't?
John Trent (21:28):
why don't you go and I'll, I'll add mine, okay?
Well, you know the one thingthat I did.
Now, my dad was an old thirdMarine division guy and never
recovered from the war and camehome as an alcoholic trying to
drink away all the pain.
And after I did meet him he wasstill trying to drink away all
the pain and never could.
Okay, but what's interesting is, have you ever been to in
Washington DC to the VietnamMemorial?
Ellen Krause (21:51):
It's this black thing.
John Trent (21:52):
It's got all the names of everybody you know, and
it's.
People looked at it.
It's not.
It's not of a soldier orsomebody on a horse, it's this
black wall with a bunch of nameson it.
But people find that name andput their hand on that name.
And here's what I'm getting at.
There's a famous statement thatthe beginning of the end of war
(22:17):
is remembrance.
War is remembrance.
And this is where we get peopleto start.
We say, okay, now look, if youmiss the blessing, you have to
say, okay, as far as it is withme, the war's over.
I had to say, okay, I'mforgiving my dad, because I had
a hard time doing that.
You know, my mom was so sickand he never showed up and all
(22:38):
that stuff.
So I think it's when we startand we say, okay, lord, thank
you for forgiving me, I'm readyto move on.
And it's like declaring thewars over on our side.
Now, you can't do it on theother side.
My dad never changed okay, butas far as it is with me, well,
(22:59):
from there, you're ready to moveon.
Kari Trent Stageberg (23:00):
So, carrie , share one thing me well, from
there you're ready to move on.
So, carrie, share one thing.
Yeah, well, I was going toshare two really super quick
things.
I think the first thing that Iwould say is that if you've
never made that choice to sayyou know what I want things to
change, start there.
And you know, for me it reallywas that moment of OK, god, if
you're real, get me out safely.
And 10 minutes later there wasthat knock on the door and I,
(23:23):
you know, I firmly believe thatwhen we say you know what, god,
I am ready, I am ready to moveforward with you because God
wants to lead us, but we have tojoin him on the journey.
So if you haven't really saidyes to the journey or you've
been holding back on that, sayyes and let him have a little
peace each day, because he's sofaithful with what we give him
(23:44):
and he multiplies that.
So I would say, start there.
And the second thing that Iwould encourage you to do is
pick a verse that you feel likereally is important to you.
You know, for dad you sharedthat the Hebrews 13, 5.
For me, I think, every day forabout a year and a half, and
still sometimes on a frequentbasis.
I read Isaiah 43.1, where ittalks about fear, not, for I
have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, youare mine.
(24:06):
Write it on a note card andevery time that you start to
think, can things change?
Is it possible to change?
Pull it out and make a tally onthe back mark and you know,
maybe day one it's 30 times thatyou had to read it.
Day two, maybe it's 10.
And then maybe it's 40, becausehealing is not linear.
But having something tophysically help your brain stop
(24:27):
and say you know what God is,who he says he is, he is in
control and he is going to showup.
For me, those would be tworeally practical things that I
would say to do to just kind ofstart down that path of healing
and watch God take it and runwith it.
Ellen Krause (24:43):
So powerful, right when we release it and put it
in God's hands.
John Trent (24:49):
Yeah, amen.
Ellen Krause (24:52):
Well, John and Keri, we could talk about so
much more, I know, but if peopleare interested in learning more
about you, where can they findyou and the book your Journey
from Broken to Blessed?
Kari Trent Stageberg (25:06):
Yeah Well, you can find us at
strongfamiliescom or on socialmedia at Strong Families, and if
you want to find your journeyfrom broken to blessed, we have
copies on our website, amazon.
Obviously we would love to hearfrom you if you do pick up a
copy of the book.
We'd love to hear if it was ablessing to you.
And we actually run live bookclubs.
(25:29):
We're getting ready to launchour live book club on Journey
from Broken to Blessed.
So if you're interested injoining us on that, where we
actually walk through the booklive with you on Zoom, kind of
like we were doing it over youknow Bible and coffee, but
Broken to Blessed and coffee,then come to strongfamiliescom
and we would love to have youjoin us on that journey.
Ellen Krause (25:49):
Oh, that's incredible.
I love that you're providingpeople that opportunity.
Well, we will make sure weinclude links to all those
things in our show notes.
Before we let you go, we haveto ask you a couple of our
favorite Coffee and Bible Timequestions here.
First of all, what Bible isyour go-to Bible and what
(26:10):
translation is it is?
John Trent (26:12):
it.
Wow.
Well, I'm a New AmericanStandard guy.
You know if I'm doing reallyBible study.
But this one here called theNew Testament, modern English,
it's by JB Phillips.
Now it's out of print.
(26:32):
You got to find it on eBay orwhatever.
It is a wonderful interpretiveparaphrase and Alistair Begg
refers to it all the time.
It's an English author, it'sreally old, but that's my
favorite.
Jb Phillips is my favoritefavorite.
Yeah.
Kari Trent Stageberg (26:44):
Yeah, I didn't think to bring mine down,
which I probably should have,but the one that I'm really,
really into right now it's theContemporary Comparative
Parallel Bible.
It's the ContemporaryComparative Parallel Bible and
so it has four differenttranslations all on the same
page.
So it's got like NIV, newLiving Translation, the Message
and New King James Version, andso it's really fun.
(27:06):
It has them in columns so it'sreally easy to read and I'm
actually really enjoying kind oflooking through all the
different ones and kind of justincreasing hey, wow, when you
read it that way, you know whatdoes the Lord have to say to you
about that?
So that's what I've been intolately, which has been really
fun.
Ellen Krause (27:23):
Okay, I have a parallel Bible, but it's only
two translations.
That's really cool that youhave a four one.
Kari Trent Stageberg (27:30):
Yeah, all right, I don't know if it's too
much or not, but it's beenreally fun.
Ellen Krause (27:34):
It's been fun yeah it's incredibly helpful to look
at multiple translations.
Okay, how about?
Do you have any favoritejournaling supplies that you
like to use for your Bible study?
John Trent (27:45):
Well, there's actually a place in Seattle that
makes these leather journals.
That's going to be somethingthat maybe gets passed down to
generations.
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:00):
Yeah, and I'm with him.
This is uh, there's justsomething about a journal you
really enjoy and there'ssomething about, like the rap
you know where you're having to,like I don't know that that
makes it really fun and reallyspecial.
Ellen Krause (28:08):
Yes, that looks.
That looks really cool.
Okay, you'll have to let usknow where that is so we can
tell our listeners.
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:15):
Yeah, Pike's Place Market in Seattle.
Every time he comes up to visit, we got to go up there and get
new journals.
Ellen Krause (28:21):
Oh, fun Okay.
Love Pike's Place Okay.
Lastly, what's your favoriteapp or website for Bible study
tools?
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:31):
Yeah, that's a good question.
Go ahead, go ahead.
John Trent (28:33):
I love you know Blue Letter Bible is.
You know, just got so manygreat things and you know you
mentioned that I could also.
You know those are kind of ourfavorite Bible things, but you
mentioned that I could also tellyou about my favorite coffee.
Please do, please do coffee,please do, please do.
(28:59):
There's this.
Uh, we're sending you.
You are so kind to have us onand to kick this whole thing off
all over the country.
It starts right here with youand we're so grateful, and so
I'm sending you this becausethis is it's called daybreak
coffee, it's caravan coffee.
They're out of the portlandarea caravan Coffee.
But listen to this, it'schocolate, creamy and buttered
toast.
I don't know about you, but ithad to be buttered toast, not
(29:21):
burnt toast, but buttered toast.
Kari Trent Stageberg (29:24):
It's really good.
I'm really picky and Joey and Ihave switched over and my mom,
who doesn't even drink coffee,will drink it, so I don't want
to oversell it, but it'sactually really really good.
John Trent (29:38):
Yeah.
Ellen Krause (29:38):
Okay, well, you sold me when I heard the word
chocolate?
Kari Trent Stageberg (29:44):
Yeah, exactly, and my favorite app is
actually it's called PrayerP-R-A-Y-R and it is a great
resource for building communitywhile you're also trying to like
actively study things, and soit helps you create a prayer
timeline you can.
It actually lets you setreminders to pray for different
people, and so that's actuallybeen my favorite kind of Bible
(30:04):
study app at the moment, becauseit helps me take what I'm
learning and then actually putit into action where I can set a
reminder to pray for so-and-soduring this time or they've, and
then people can give updates ontheir prayer, and it's really
kind of a neat tool, so thatthat's my favorite one right now
and my friend Julie created it.
So I'm really it's, it's fun tosee that, uh, really be
(30:25):
something that's powerful andthat's so helpful.
Ellen Krause (30:29):
I love that.
Okay, well, very good, we willmake sure we include links to
all those things, includingcaravan coffee.
John and carrie, thank you somuch for being here today, for
being so authentic, for sharingyour words of encouragement.
It's just been a wonderfulexperience oh, thank you so much
(30:53):
.
John Trent (30:53):
Hey, can carrie, can you pray for Ellen and all
these awesome people that havebeen blessed by her as well?
Yeah, absolutely.
Kari Trent Stageberg (31:03):
Lord, we just thank you for coffee and
Bible time.
Lord, we thank you for just theopportunity to slow down and
really get to connect with otherbelievers.
God, even through our phones orthe internet, to just be able
to hear other perspectives aboutyou.
Lord, I just pray that this isa continued place of community
for people, where they wouldcontinue to just be encouraged,
(31:24):
that you would give Ellen wisdomand favor as she continues to
build this, and we just thankyou for the opportunity to get
to share about what you havedone in our lives and what you
are able to do when we say yesto you.
So I just pray that you wouldbring your hope on anyone who is
listening today.
Let them know that you reallyare real, you really can change
(31:45):
the pictures of their story andyou really can move things from
broken to blessed.
And so we just love you and wepraise you in Jesus name, amen,
amen.
Ellen Krause (31:55):
All right.
Thank you so much for thatprayer to our listeners.
If you grew up without the loveand care you needed, or if
you're just now beginning to seehow that has affected your
adult life, I hope thisconversation reminded you that
healing is possible.
You are not too far gone, youare not stuck in your past and
(32:17):
you are never beyond the reachof God's love and restoration.
Thank you again for justjoining us here at the Coffee
and Bible Time podcast.
Until next week, may you restin the truth that you are fully
seen, deeply loved and neveralone.
God bless.
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and I'mso glad that you're here.
Today's episode touches onsomething incredibly personal,
something that's incrediblyimportant and, for many of us,
(00:45):
incredibly painful.
It's what happens when we growup without the love, affirmation
and emotional safety we longedfor from our parents.
Today, we're diving into theimpact of missing love and
connection in childhood, thecoping strategies that often
(01:06):
follow and, most importantly,how God can bring healing, hope
and a new legacy.
I'm honored today to be joinedby Dr John Trent and Carrie
Trent Stageberg, afather-daughter duo with a deep
passion for helping people healfrom emotional wounds and find
(01:27):
freedom in the love of Christ.
Dr John Trent is the presidentof Strong Families and a
nationally known speaker withmore than 20 best-selling books.
He's also a husband of over 35years, a dad and a very proud
grandfather.
Carrie Trent Stageberg is theCEO of Strong Families and a
(01:49):
speaker in her own right whoseheart for helping others is
shaped not just by her work butby her own journey of healing
and redemption.
She's a wife, a mom to two boysand a powerful voice of hope
for anyone longing for emotionalwholeness.
Together, john and Carrie havespent years guiding people
(02:09):
toward emotional healing,helping them break free from
painful generational patternsand leading them into the kind
of love that only God canprovide.
Please welcome Carrie and John.
Kari Trent Stageberg (02:24):
Wow, that has to be the best.
John Trent (02:26):
Let's just close in prayer.
Kari Trent Stageberg (02:27):
I know I was like we need to hire you to
write our bios.
That was.
I'm gonna go copy down thatthanks, ellen.
John Trent (02:35):
It's an honor to be with you, I feel encouraged.
Ellen Krause (02:39):
You are most welcome, but rightfully so.
I just am thrilled for ourlisteners to be able to get a
glimpse into what you havepoured your life into studying
and helping others, so why don'twe start out with you guys just
introducing yourselves andsharing a little bit about your
(03:00):
ministry and what you do?
Kari Trent Stageberg (03:04):
Yeah, I had the privilege for 10 years
of working with a guy named GarySmalley, who was one of my best
buddies and we did a lottogether.
And then Gary semi-retired, sowe started our own ministry.
It started off as calledEncouraging Words and then,
right before 9-11, okay, on 9-10, I woke up in the middle of the
(03:27):
night and you know, I'm, youknow, pretty Presbyterian, so
the Lord, I wish, woke me upmore than he does, you know.
But I was like we need tochange the name of our ministry.
Encouraging Words is a greatname, but it was like no, you
need to change it to strongfamilies, because that's what is
really needed.
And so we changed our name andthe next day was 9-11, you know,
(03:51):
and the towers fell and it waslike, oh my gosh.
We certainly need encouragingwords from God's word, but, boy,
more than ever I think we needstrong families as well.
And then a few years go by andCarrie joins up.
So, carrie, tell them what wedo now.
Yeah, yeah Well, and I am superblessed to get to do this with
(04:11):
my dad, and I mean, if you hadtold either one of us, I think
even 15, 20 years ago, that wewould be doing this together, I
think we both would have laughedfor very different reasons.
But I was the kid that grew upwith the blessing and with
healthy attachment that ended upwalking away from faith and
family and found myself in themiddle of an abusive
relationship, which is reallywhere I met the Lord, and God
(04:34):
brought me out of that.
A few years later, I ended upmeeting my incredible husband,
Joey, and now we've got ourwonderful boys and I've just
watched God redeem and heal somuch.
But it really was the blessingwhich is the core of what we do
at Strong Families that broughtme home and my parents choosing
to live it out, even when it washard and even when both of them
(04:54):
grew up in homes where theydidn't grow up with it, and so
they really walked this journeyof broken to blessed.
I've walked it in a later seasonand so I don't know.
You know some of you areprobably going, you know, like
maybe you were like me and youwere really blessed to have
truly wonderful parents and awonderful childhood, but maybe
there's something else thathappened that really kind of has
made you question is thatblessing still valid?
(05:16):
Do I still have worth?
Do I still have value?
God, can you really changewhat's happening in this season
of my life?
And so I hope that we can sharesome of that hope, which is
what we try to do at StrongFamilies.
Ellen Krause (05:31):
Yes, oh, it's incredibly helpful and I know it
starts around this concept ofthe blessing.
John Trent (05:39):
Yeah.
Ellen Krause (05:39):
So can you explain for our listeners what it is
and how you first encountered ordeveloped it?
Kari Trent Stageberg (05:47):
Yeah, well , you know you're right.
I mean we hear blessing todayand it's what you do if somebody
sneezes, or it's just used in alot of different ways.
We have blessings in Christ.
I mean when you are in Christ.
Think about the book ofEphesians, read chapter one and
chapter two, and you know hepours out every spiritual
(06:14):
blessing.
You are loved and sealed andadopted and redeemed and
restored and all of thoseamazing things you know.
But it's interesting inDeuteronomy 30, 19,.
It says, boy, the Lord says Iset before you a choice life or
death.
Now choose life in Christ.
Right, I mean that's whereblessing comes.
But once you choose life inChrist, then it says now choose
blessing over curse.
(06:35):
Curse means to subtract, to damup this dream.
Blessing means to add Bow theknee.
That's the word.
Picture behind it, that's anattitude.
Here's somebody that's reallyvaluable.
Now you pick up your kids todayyou don't have to literally bow
to them, but it's that attitudethat they're really valuable.
But then it's also like addinga coin to a scale where you add
(06:57):
to their life.
So when you bless somebodybecause they're so valuable, you
add to who they are, you add totheir life.
You know it's interesting, butGod blesses us first, but then
he calls us to bless others, andthat's what we're really
talking about.
Did you grow up with somebodythat was crazy about you?
So, ellen, let me just ask you,when you were 10 years old, you
(07:21):
come home from school and let'ssay everybody's there.
You know, who was just crazyabout you, there
Ellen Krause (07:32):
anybody there, that was just crazy about you
growing up?
?
You , I would say boy, thiscould be a whole therapy session
, I think, but I'm not going tolet it go there, because I've
had my share of that.
But honestly, and I'll be quitetransparent with you, like that
was a hard season because myparents had just gone through a
(07:52):
divorce, and so I had a strongrelationship with my dad and he
wasn't there and he would havebeen the person, and even though
he wasn't in our home as muchanymore, he definitely was that.
I think my mom was reallystruggling at that time and so
things were hard for her.
But I can think of other peopleyou know, like my next door
(08:16):
neighbor who I thought wasamazing and we spent a lot of
time together.
So it's a mixed bag.
John Trent (08:24):
No, it is, but see, that's the reality, I think,
for a lot of time together.
So it's a mixed bag?
No, it is, but see, that's thereality, I think, for a lot of
us.
So you know, I grew up in asingle parent home.
My mom and dad divorced when Iwas two months old, my dad took
one look at twins.
I had an older brother andtwins and bailed out, you know.
So I never got the blessingfrom my dad.
He wasn't there.
But you know, my mom wasworld-class of blessing but then
(08:45):
she gets rheumatoid arthritisand she was so sick and we had
no money growing up singleparent home, so she ends up in
Indiana getting all thesesurgeries we're raising ourself
with.
My older brother was really,you know, uh, the one that was
taking care of us, and what I'mgetting at is is so for some of
us, man, you know, we, you knowI hope every person here
(09:09):
listening got the blessing fromeverybody around them, including
their pets, kind of a thing.
But for some of us we grew upwithout it.
And, carrie, then you grew upwith it.
But then again that abusivetime, you can have the blessing
ripped out of your life later onas well, right, yeah?
Kari Trent Stageberg (09:27):
absolutely .
And, Ellen, I just wanted tosay thanks for letting us put
you on the spot and beingvulnerable with that question.
And you know, I think we hearthat all the time when we do
coaching with people is that youknow there wasn't anybody, or
it was the dog.
The dog was the only one thatwas excited I was coming home,
or there was that teacheroutside of outside of home.
There was somebody else.
(09:48):
But I mean, for so many of usthat's just the reality.
And then again, like I said,for others, maybe maybe we did
grow up with a home where peoplelit up or we knew people in God
were crazy about us, but westill had a choice to make, or
maybe we're in a season whereit's just really hard to believe
that that's actually real.
John Trent (10:07):
Yeah, right, right so that's really where it
started.
As a counselor, I was in apsychiatric unit working there.
So I'm sitting with this guyfor about four hours.
He's on suicide watch.
He had tried to take his lifeand it was so interesting.
You know, Alan, I just feltlike you know he, he had tried,
he had just got his first B asin boy, not D as in dog as a
(10:30):
senior in college and hecouldn't go home because he felt
like if he went home he'd never, never get his dad's.
But he didn't say blessing, buthe had never.
His dad was straight A's, hewas straight A's.
This was a non-major PE course.
His dad was straight A's, hewas straight A's, this was a
non-major PE course.
And he sucked at PE and he getsa B in PE and he literally
tried to take his life.
(10:51):
And if his roommate I think bythe grace of God hadn't showed
up, it would have beensuccessful.
But I got home that night andthe next day I'm teaching
Genesis 27 and Genesis 28.
In a Sunday school class whichis about Jacob and Esau.
Remember those twins?
I'm a twin and so my mom alwaysliked Jeff best Not really, but
(11:16):
the point is that you know,here's one twin and Jacob gets
the blessing Right.
Okay.
Please come close and hold me,my son, and he kisses him and
tells him see, the smell of myson is like the smell of the
field that the Lord has blessed.
May God give you the dew ofheaven and the fatness of earth
and abundance of grain and newwine.
(11:36):
So he gives him this greatblessing right.
Well, in comes Esau, and hedoesn't get it.
And when Esau heard the wordsof his father that he would
never get the blessing, he criesout with an exceedingly great
and bitter cry.
It says, and he goes bless me,even me also, oh my father.
And he repeats himself.
(11:57):
He says do you have only oneblessing?
Bless me, even me also, oh myfather.
So, so, ellen, that's really.
It was in that moment.
I mean, it was like scales felloff and now I had a name for it
.
What I realized was I wassitting with somebody and all
that hurt, all that, please, dad.
I had said that a thousandtimes Dad, show up.
(12:19):
You know where are you, youknow?
And then, when I did meet him,and he was an angry alcoholic, I
wished I hadn't met him andthen I used to hate my dad and
then I became a Christian andintensely disliked him and then
finally realized, as I began togrow in Christ, I needed to
forgive him because I wasbecoming just like him.
Do you see what I mean?
So it was so interesting.
That was when I thought, oh mygosh, the blessing was when I
(12:48):
thought, oh my gosh, theblessing.
That's what now, again, god'sblessing is phenomenal, but it
is what, I think, what equips us, what fills us up.
We'll be able to get into thisman when you grow up without the
blessing.
It is when you find God'sblessing that you're able to
give it to people, even peopleyou never thought you ever would
give it to.
So that's really where ourwhole ministry has been.
(13:11):
Look, you don't have to beperfect.
You can be like Ellen, you canbe like John, you can be like
Carrie and be broken, and yet inChrist you can move to blessed.
And so that's really what thisbook is about and what we get to
talk to you about today, whichis so much fun.
Ellen Krause (13:33):
Yes, and it's just kind of the whole story of
Christ taking that brokennessand turning it completely around
into something of a blessing.
Wow, okay, so you share that?
There's five elements of theblessing, yeah, why don't you
tell us a little bit about thoseand help us understand why
these particular things are soimpactful in helping someone
(13:53):
feel valued and secure?
Kari Trent Stageberg (13:56):
Yeah, and I can do that.
So the five elements of theblessing the first one is
appropriate, meaningful touch,and it's really.
I mean, there's so many studiesabout the health and physical
and mental and emotional benefitof touch.
Whether it's a baby in a NICUor even somebody who's in
physical pain, if they havesomeone that's holding their
hand, their pain levels go down,their blood pressure lowers.
(14:18):
So there's so many things thatthe Bible and science tell us
about the importance of touch.
But it also can be bright eyes,and the Bible tells us, you
know, bright eyes makes theheart glad.
There's a really phenomenalbook called the Other Side of
Church, our friend Jim Wilderwho helped write this book.
He's a neurobiologist andessentially what happens is if
(14:38):
you walk into a room andsomeone's eyes light up when
they see you, their eyesbrighten.
Our brain translates that asjoy, and so really that's that
appropriate, meaningful touch.
That's the first element.
The second is spoken or writtenwords, which means we need to
hear it, and I think for so manyof us we hear this all the time
.
Well, I knew that they loved me, but they never said it.
(15:00):
Well, they may have been proudof me, but they never said it.
Well, they may have been proudof me, but I never heard it.
And so we need to use our wordsto add, like he was saying, to
add like a coin to a scale, toadd weight to somebody's life,
to add value to their life.
Well, what do we need to add?
Well, we need to attach highvalue, which really is how do we
help them get a picture of theunique way that they were
(15:20):
created?
What are their unique, specific, god-given strengths that God
has given them?
And the beautiful thing aboutthose strengths is they're not
just for them, they're actuallyfor us to be able to use to
bless and encourage others,which brings us to that fourth
element, which is special future.
So how do you see God beingable to use them and use those
(15:40):
unique strengths in a way thathelps them get a picture of what
could be ahead?
And I want to focus on this onereally quick, because not only
do I think that this is the onethat's most under attack today,
because here's the reality Ifthe enemy can convince us that
we don't have a purpose or wedon't have value, he can take us
out of the game, whether that'semotionally or sometimes,
(16:02):
unfortunately, even physically.
He can really warp our mindsaround.
Well, what is there?
Even a future?
And the other side of it is toois sometimes we're hesitant to
want to bless someone in ourlives because maybe they're not
living in the fullness of whothey were created to be.
And I want to tell you thisright now it was my dad choosing
to say hey, carrie, here's whoyou are, here's truths about who
(16:25):
you are.
When I was in a season where Ididn't see him, that allowed me
to begin to walk forward andeventually be able to claim
those as true.
So this is not saying that youthrow boundaries out the window,
but this is saying that youabsolutely can give someone a
picture of who God created themto be and how God can use them
when they choose to make thatdecision.
And then the fifth and finalone is genuine commitment, and
(16:47):
that's really saying I'm goingto be there when things are good
, when things are bad, as longas God gives me breath, I'm
going to be there for you in anyway that I can you know and
help you live out the way thatGod has created you to be in
that special future.
And again, we're not sayingthrow boundaries out the window,
we're not saying becomecodependent, but we are saying
(17:08):
that there is a way to be therefor somebody in a healthy way or
speak life and blessing overthem when they really need it,
even if the relationship isincredibly challenging.
And that's where God and hisgrace coming into our lives
allows us to heal and to forgive, and then we can maybe even go
bless someone who never gave usthe blessing.
Ellen Krause (17:27):
Yes, oh, I just loved reading about that and
learning about these differentthings and, of course, as I was
reading it, I was thinking aboutmyself and different people
that did attach high valueSomeone, a teacher, who was
instrumental in helping mevisualize my future.
(17:51):
And I love the fact that we canlike even if we didn't receive
it.
So, for example, I was given upfor adoption.
So the meaningful touch part Idon't think happened, like since
it was a while until I wasadopted, but I love that.
You know, later on, like now, Icherish every hug that my
(18:16):
husband gives me, like just thatit's redeemable, so to speak.
Yeah, yeah wow, wow.
John Trent (18:25):
Well, and that's.
You know that's so redemptiveand you mentioned earlier you
know it's a story was tim keller?
Did he ever jump on yourpodcast?
uh, do you know, I wish, yes,yeah, yeah well, he, you know
what's interesting, I was, uh,somebody sent me a podcast that
he did of Of course he's withthe Lord now, you know, but he
(18:46):
was such a great thinker andeverything, and it's interesting
that he was with a bunch ofactors in New York City and,
because he was fearless, youknow, he'd go right in the midst
of the world and talk aboutJesus, you know, and bottom line
is, is he talked about how, howimportant they were, because
they tell stories and there'sthat sense in which, as he, you
(19:10):
know, began to talk that all ofus, our, our life is like a
story, you know, written by thehand of God.
And so what we're here to say,the exciting thing is, is that,
okay, that story might havestarted off for a lot of us, or
maybe it is today, not where wewant it to be, but there is a
(19:30):
way.
Deuteronomy 23.5.
Now, I don't have any tattoos,but if I was going to get a
tattoo and I'm not suggestinganybody add any more tattoos
okay, tattoo this on your brain,maybe.
You know.
Deuteronomy 23, five.
Here's where it says but now,the Lord, your God, was not
willing that Balaam.
Now, balaam was this guy thatwas hired by people that didn't
(19:53):
like God's people to curse them.
Right now, most of us hadpeople in our life.
You know, you didn't have topay my dad.
He just bailed out because hechose to.
It wasn't nobody was paying himto do it.
But here's Balaam.
The Lord was not willing to letthat person, whoever it was,
curse you.
The Lord, your God, turned thecurse, all that subtraction,
(20:17):
into a blessing for you becausethe Lord, your God, loves you,
into a blessing for you becausethe Lord, your God, loves you.
And so, as we get into thiswhole broken to blessed part,
I'm so grateful.
For me, it was a young lifeleader, this big six foot four X
Chico State football player,who showed up to me.
I got to see him and his familyall live out God's love, and
(20:37):
he's the one that invited me tomake a choice.
And we get to do that.
We get to choose man once youcome in Christ and you get all
those blessings.
Well, now you're ready to gobless others.
So it's a journey, it's a story, but God can rewrite the story.
Ellen Krause (20:55):
Yes.
Kari Trent Stageberg (20:56):
Absolutely .
Ellen Krause (20:57):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Well, I know that we have somany people listening that could
be anywhere on that spectrumthat you've talked about.
If you could give them onepiece of practical steps that
they could take to start thehealing process, what would that
(21:19):
be?
Kari Trent Stageberg (21:19):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Why don't?
John Trent (21:28):
why don't you go and I'll, I'll add mine, okay?
Well, you know the one thingthat I did.
Now, my dad was an old thirdMarine division guy and never
recovered from the war and camehome as an alcoholic trying to
drink away all the pain.
And after I did meet him he wasstill trying to drink away all
the pain and never could.
Okay, but what's interesting is, have you ever been to in
Washington DC to the VietnamMemorial?
Ellen Krause (21:51):
It's this black thing.
John Trent (21:52):
It's got all the names of everybody you know, and
it's.
People looked at it.
It's not.
It's not of a soldier orsomebody on a horse, it's this
black wall with a bunch of nameson it.
But people find that name andput their hand on that name.
And here's what I'm getting at.
There's a famous statement thatthe beginning of the end of war
(22:17):
is remembrance.
War is remembrance.
And this is where we get peopleto start.
We say, okay, now look, if youmiss the blessing, you have to
say, okay, as far as it is withme, the war's over.
I had to say, okay, I'mforgiving my dad, because I had
a hard time doing that.
You know, my mom was so sickand he never showed up and all
(22:38):
that stuff.
So I think it's when we startand we say, okay, lord, thank
you for forgiving me, I'm readyto move on.
And it's like declaring thewars over on our side.
Now, you can't do it on theother side.
My dad never changed okay, butas far as it is with me, well,
(22:59):
from there, you're ready to moveon.
Kari Trent Stageberg (23:00):
So, carrie , share one thing me well, from
there you're ready to move on.
So, carrie, share one thing.
Yeah, well, I was going toshare two really super quick
things.
I think the first thing that Iwould say is that if you've
never made that choice to sayyou know what I want things to
change, start there.
And you know, for me it reallywas that moment of OK, god, if
you're real, get me out safely.
And 10 minutes later there wasthat knock on the door and I,
(23:23):
you know, I firmly believe thatwhen we say you know what, god,
I am ready, I am ready to moveforward with you because God
wants to lead us, but we have tojoin him on the journey.
So if you haven't really saidyes to the journey or you've
been holding back on that, sayyes and let him have a little
peace each day, because he's sofaithful with what we give him
(23:44):
and he multiplies that.
So I would say, start there.
And the second thing that Iwould encourage you to do is
pick a verse that you feel likereally is important to you.
You know, for dad you sharedthat the Hebrews 13, 5.
For me, I think, every day forabout a year and a half, and
still sometimes on a frequentbasis.
I read Isaiah 43.1, where ittalks about fear, not, for I
have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, youare mine.
(24:06):
Write it on a note card andevery time that you start to
think, can things change?
Is it possible to change?
Pull it out and make a tally onthe back mark and you know,
maybe day one it's 30 times thatyou had to read it.
Day two, maybe it's 10.
And then maybe it's 40, becausehealing is not linear.
But having something tophysically help your brain stop
(24:27):
and say you know what God is,who he says he is, he is in
control and he is going to showup.
For me, those would be tworeally practical things that I
would say to do to just kind ofstart down that path of healing
and watch God take it and runwith it.
Ellen Krause (24:43):
So powerful, right when we release it and put it
in God's hands.
John Trent (24:49):
Yeah, amen.
Ellen Krause (24:52):
Well, John and Keri, we could talk about so
much more, I know, but if peopleare interested in learning more
about you, where can they findyou and the book your Journey
from Broken to Blessed?
Kari Trent Stageberg (25:06):
Yeah Well, you can find us at
strongfamiliescom or on socialmedia at Strong Families, and if
you want to find your journeyfrom broken to blessed, we have
copies on our website, amazon.
Obviously we would love to hearfrom you if you do pick up a
copy of the book.
We'd love to hear if it was ablessing to you.
And we actually run live bookclubs.
(25:29):
We're getting ready to launchour live book club on Journey
from Broken to Blessed.
So if you're interested injoining us on that, where we
actually walk through the booklive with you on Zoom, kind of
like we were doing it over youknow Bible and coffee, but
Broken to Blessed and coffee,then come to strongfamiliescom
and we would love to have youjoin us on that journey.
Ellen Krause (25:49):
Oh, that's incredible.
I love that you're providingpeople that opportunity.
Well, we will make sure weinclude links to all those
things in our show notes.
Before we let you go, we haveto ask you a couple of our
favorite Coffee and Bible Timequestions here.
First of all, what Bible isyour go-to Bible and what
(26:10):
translation is it is?
John Trent (26:12):
it.
Wow.
Well, I'm a New AmericanStandard guy.
You know if I'm doing reallyBible study.
But this one here called theNew Testament, modern English,
it's by JB Phillips.
Now it's out of print.
(26:32):
You got to find it on eBay orwhatever.
It is a wonderful interpretiveparaphrase and Alistair Begg
refers to it all the time.
It's an English author, it'sreally old, but that's my
favorite.
Jb Phillips is my favoritefavorite.
Yeah.
Kari Trent Stageberg (26:44):
Yeah, I didn't think to bring mine down,
which I probably should have,but the one that I'm really,
really into right now it's theContemporary Comparative
Parallel Bible.
It's the ContemporaryComparative Parallel Bible and
so it has four differenttranslations all on the same
page.
So it's got like NIV, newLiving Translation, the Message
and New King James Version, andso it's really fun.
(27:06):
It has them in columns so it'sreally easy to read and I'm
actually really enjoying kind oflooking through all the
different ones and kind of justincreasing hey, wow, when you
read it that way, you know whatdoes the Lord have to say to you
about that?
So that's what I've been intolately, which has been really
fun.
Ellen Krause (27:23):
Okay, I have a parallel Bible, but it's only
two translations.
That's really cool that youhave a four one.
Kari Trent Stageberg (27:30):
Yeah, all right, I don't know if it's too
much or not, but it's beenreally fun.
Ellen Krause (27:34):
It's been fun yeah it's incredibly helpful to look
at multiple translations.
Okay, how about?
Do you have any favoritejournaling supplies that you
like to use for your Bible study?
John Trent (27:45):
Well, there's actually a place in Seattle that
makes these leather journals.
That's going to be somethingthat maybe gets passed down to
generations.
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:00):
Yeah, and I'm with him.
This is uh, there's justsomething about a journal you
really enjoy and there'ssomething about, like the rap
you know where you're having to,like I don't know that that
makes it really fun and reallyspecial.
Ellen Krause (28:08):
Yes, that looks.
That looks really cool.
Okay, you'll have to let usknow where that is so we can
tell our listeners.
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:15):
Yeah, Pike's Place Market in Seattle.
Every time he comes up to visit, we got to go up there and get
new journals.
Ellen Krause (28:21):
Oh, fun Okay.
Love Pike's Place Okay.
Lastly, what's your favoriteapp or website for Bible study
tools?
Kari Trent Stageberg (28:31):
Yeah, that's a good question.
Go ahead, go ahead.
John Trent (28:33):
I love you know Blue Letter Bible is.
You know, just got so manygreat things and you know you
mentioned that I could also.
You know those are kind of ourfavorite Bible things, but you
mentioned that I could also tellyou about my favorite coffee.
Please do, please do coffee,please do, please do.
(28:59):
There's this.
Uh, we're sending you.
You are so kind to have us onand to kick this whole thing off
all over the country.
It starts right here with youand we're so grateful, and so
I'm sending you this becausethis is it's called daybreak
coffee, it's caravan coffee.
They're out of the portlandarea caravan Coffee.
But listen to this, it'schocolate, creamy and buttered
toast.
I don't know about you, but ithad to be buttered toast, not
(29:21):
burnt toast, but buttered toast.
Kari Trent Stageberg (29:24):
It's really good.
I'm really picky and Joey and Ihave switched over and my mom,
who doesn't even drink coffee,will drink it, so I don't want
to oversell it, but it'sactually really really good.
John Trent (29:38):
Yeah.
Ellen Krause (29:38):
Okay, well, you sold me when I heard the word
chocolate?
Kari Trent Stageberg (29:44):
Yeah, exactly, and my favorite app is
actually it's called PrayerP-R-A-Y-R and it is a great
resource for building communitywhile you're also trying to like
actively study things, and soit helps you create a prayer
timeline you can.
It actually lets you setreminders to pray for different
people, and so that's actuallybeen my favorite kind of Bible
(30:04):
study app at the moment, becauseit helps me take what I'm
learning and then actually putit into action where I can set a
reminder to pray for so-and-soduring this time or they've, and
then people can give updates ontheir prayer, and it's really
kind of a neat tool, so thatthat's my favorite one right now
and my friend Julie created it.
So I'm really it's, it's fun tosee that, uh, really be
(30:25):
something that's powerful andthat's so helpful.
Ellen Krause (30:29):
I love that.
Okay, well, very good, we willmake sure we include links to
all those things, includingcaravan coffee.
John and carrie, thank you somuch for being here today, for
being so authentic, for sharingyour words of encouragement.
It's just been a wonderfulexperience oh, thank you so much
(30:53):
.
John Trent (30:53):
Hey, can carrie, can you pray for Ellen and all
these awesome people that havebeen blessed by her as well?
Yeah, absolutely.
Kari Trent Stageberg (31:03):
Lord, we just thank you for coffee and
Bible time.
Lord, we thank you for just theopportunity to slow down and
really get to connect with otherbelievers.
God, even through our phones orthe internet, to just be able
to hear other perspectives aboutyou.
Lord, I just pray that this isa continued place of community
for people, where they wouldcontinue to just be encouraged,
(31:24):
that you would give Ellen wisdomand favor as she continues to
build this, and we just thankyou for the opportunity to get
to share about what you havedone in our lives and what you
are able to do when we say yesto you.
So I just pray that you wouldbring your hope on anyone who is
listening today.
Let them know that you reallyare real, you really can change
(31:45):
the pictures of their story andyou really can move things from
broken to blessed.
And so we just love you and wepraise you in Jesus name, amen,
amen.
Ellen Krause (31:55):
All right.
Thank you so much for thatprayer to our listeners.
If you grew up without the loveand care you needed, or if
you're just now beginning to seehow that has affected your
adult life, I hope thisconversation reminded you that
healing is possible.
You are not too far gone, youare not stuck in your past and
(32:17):
you are never beyond the reachof God's love and restoration.
Thank you again for justjoining us here at the Coffee
and Bible Time podcast.
Until next week, may you restin the truth that you are fully
seen, deeply loved and neveralone.
God bless.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.