January 16, 2025 • 18 mins
If you could turn back time, what would you tell your single self? In this podcast, Taylor explores the Christian wisdom and advice she'd give to her younger, single self! From learning to trust God to taking more risks, we're diving into the lessons we've learned along the way and the things we wish we knew back then. In this podcast we discuss,
• Recognizing personal worth beyond romantic validation
• Importance of understanding God’s perception of us
• Validating the desire for relationships without obsession
• Encouraging self-reflection and personal growth
• Being honest about insecurities and social barriers
• Rethinking superficial standards in dating
• Tips for building community and respectful connections
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ellen Krause (00:04):
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
Taylor Krause (00:27):
Hi everyone.
It is so good to be with you.
It's so good to talk to you andjust connect.
Obviously, if you guys arelistening to this podcast, you
are here to learn about what Iwould tell my younger single
self if I could go back and givemyself some pieces of advice.
Obviously, I am not my mothertoday, unless you guys think we
(00:50):
have the same voice, then Well,hello.
This is Taylor.
I am the youngest one here apart of Coffee Revival Time
mentor mama.
My mom usually hosts thispodcast, but today I'm taking
over.
I wanted to share with you guysjust what I shared on our
YouTube channel basically thispast week.
If you guys keep up regularly,then you may have already seen
(01:12):
this, but I basically created avideo sharing with you guys
everything I'm going to besharing with you today.
Only we are sharing it with apodcast because this kind of
ended up being a little bit moreof a popular video than I
expected, so I definitely didn'twant you guys to miss out.
This is fresh, this is new andI hope that you guys enjoy it
Without further ado.
(01:32):
Here is the podcast.
Welcome back to Coffee and BibleTime.
My name is Taylor.
If you're new here, welcome.
We make videos every week tohelp you grow in your
relationship with God and trulyfeel close to him, and a lot of
that is through Bible study,reading God's word, and some of
it is through some of these justlifestyle videos or chit chat
(01:54):
videos, like today's gonna be,which is gonna be on singleness
advice I would give to myyounger single self, but it's
also advice I would give to anyof you guys, and I'm telling you
a lot of these things.
I'm like I could have justhammered this into my head.
I would have saved myself a lotof heartache.
So I'm excited to get into this.
I have five tips that I'm goingto share, but before I do that,
(02:15):
I do want to let you guys knowthat we are going to be reading
through Genesis, kind of doing alittle bit more of an in-depth
dive, and me and my sister andmy mom we're going to be guiding
you guys along through this,but it's going to be on our
community page.
So we're going to be focusing alot of energy this new year
into pouring into in-depth studyand walking alongside of you
(02:39):
guys, like in live bible studyvideo formats.
So it does cost money to be apart of it.
But if you are wanting to kindof invest more into your
relationship with God andstudying your Bible, you know
you have the three of us thatare there to walk alongside of
you and to really be with you,live through video as we walk
through it.
So think of it kind of as likea little bit of like a mentor
(03:02):
type relationship, but alsoyou're in community with other
women who are wanting to do thesame thing and invest in their
relationship with God this newyear.
So yeah, if you're interestedin that, I'll have it linked
down below.
You can learn more about it onour website and today's video is
going to be kind of Christianadvice to my younger single self
and it's also just kind ofgoing to be a chit chat type of
(03:24):
video.
I wrote down a lot of points inmy journal here that I kind of
just wanted to share and be realand honest, that going through
singleness is hard, especiallyas a woman who is desiring to
have a godly relationship and tofind somebody who loves them
for who you are and how you'vebeen made in Christ.
(03:45):
Comment down below where you'reat if you want to share.
I'm sure a lot of us can relateand just kind of, yeah, comfort
each other.
So the first piece of advicethat I would give and if I could
hammer this into my head when Iwas younger, I would is that
you are not less than You're andyou are not unattractive just
(04:09):
because nobody's pursuing you.
And I want to just like putthis first and foremost, because
for some reason, I feel like,especially as women, we just
automatically go to like, oh,people aren't pursuing me.
There must be something wrongwith the way that I look, and
that is, I really just feel somuch of the enemy, like working
(04:32):
through social media and justmaking us really focus on things
that don't really matter.
Like, and when I was in highschool, my first two years of
college, I feel like I was sodown on myself for not being the
right size or not being prettyenough, or like always thinking
like, what can I do to makemyself look more attractive?
(04:55):
And I feel it was just so invain.
The fact that scripture tellsus right off the bat that God
looks at the heart, he's moreinterested in our heart, and
that a woman who is of value andof dignity is somebody who is
honorable, it's like all theseinward qualities right, that's
what matters to the lord.
(05:15):
But when we're single, we'renot being pursued.
We feel less than because allthese you know, quote unquote
beautiful women are beingpursued by attractive men.
I really feel like the devil ismaking us focus on things that
are just not important.
Now that I have met my futurehusband he's my fiance right now
(05:38):
he never made me feel like Iwas the wrong size or that I was
unattractive and like.
The ironic part is, when I waswith him at the beginning of our
relationship and throughout, Iwas probably the heaviest weight
I've ever been in at my life.
I was walking through eatingdisorder recovery, so I was
(06:01):
gaining weight.
I wasn't restricting food andit was such a healing thing for
me to be with a man who affirmedme of my body, told me that he
loved me for who I was, and henever made my weight something
that I should feel ashamed of orconcerned about.
(06:21):
But I'm telling you, whenyou're single and you're
struggling with not beingpursued, our brains race to this
place of well, I must not beattractive, I must be, you know,
overweight.
This is all a problem.
There are men out there thatare ready and willing to love
you for who you are, and if it'snot right in this moment, it
(06:44):
does not mean that it won't everhappen.
Okay, so the second piece ofadvice that I would give to my
younger single self, and anybodywho is single, is to become
more interested in how God seesyou than how men see you.
And I think that this is sotricky because when you're
single or at least how it wasfor me and you can comment down
(07:06):
below, this is if you relate tothis my thoughts were always
preoccupied with what are theseguys thinking of me?
Am I attractive?
Am I beautiful?
Are they finding some worth inme?
Even just like?
The way that I would like dressmyself in the morning was am I
dressing attractive?
Am I?
You know, I was always thinkingabout what could guys think of
me, especially even inconversations.
(07:27):
How am I presenting myself?
Do they think I'm smart?
You know, am I funny enough?
Yada, yada, yada.
I say that because why was I sopreoccupied with what I thought
men were thinking of me and wayless concerned about what God
was thinking of me.
And I'm telling you, when yourmind is so focused on what
(07:50):
people might be thinking of you,it is exhausting and it is so
completely futile because youwill never know.
You will never know what menare thinking of you and it
really doesn't matter I'm sayingthis to myself how many of
these men are going to be inyour life forever?
Very little, and a lot of them,I feel like, were kind of
(08:12):
strangers.
Looking back, I'm like why didI care about what these people
think?
I never talked to them.
It was just a waste of mymental energy and mind reading
like thinking you know what menare thinking.
That's also futile.
You don't know.
You don't know and we probablydon't want to know.
When you catch yourself thinkingabout, or caring over caring
(08:36):
about, what guys might bethinking of you, remind yourself
okay, I want to flip thisswitch.
I want to be thinking about you.
Remind yourself, okay, I wantto flip this switch.
I want to be thinking about you, lord.
I want to be thinking aboutwhat you think of me.
I want to be thinking about myinward qualities and I want to
improve myself.
I want to be the best versionof myself that I can be mentally
, physically, spiritually.
(08:57):
Focus that energy on what youthink people might be thinking
of you, into how you can be thebest that you can be for the
Lord and, as hard as it is,being open to what God has for
you in this season, whether itbe him bringing you somebody or
whether it not be that I feellike if I knew, looking back,
(09:20):
that I was going to be singlethrough our high school, I was
going to be single my first twoyears of college, I wouldn't be
thinking about men.
I would be focusing all thatenergy into who God has made me
to be and how much time would Ihave saved and how much mental
energy and, you know, chasingafter the wind would I be saving
.
Okay, so my third piece ofadvice is this there's nothing
(09:44):
wrong with wanting to be in arelationship.
Essentially, I would just wantto let my younger self know, and
you, any of you guys that aresingle there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be in arelationship.
I think that that is abeautiful desire.
You see immediately in Genesisthat God tells Adam it's not
good for you to be alone and hecreates a woman like.
(10:07):
There's this dynamic, thischemistry between men and women
that creates a beautiful, youknow God, honoring God,
reflective relationship.
We're meant to live incommunity.
It doesn't necessarily mean wehave to have a relationship in
order to reflect the image ofGod or to live in community.
No, you can do that as you'resingle and I do feel like I did
(10:30):
that as I was single.
But all that to say, you don'tneed to like get down on
yourself for wanting to be in arelationship.
On the flip side, I think ifyou are obsessing over wanting
to be in a relationship and wecan just be honest about it
right, because we've all beenthere, but you've got to be
honest if you are obsessingabout being in a relationship,
(10:54):
that is not healthy either,because there's something that
we're hoping in a relationshipis going to fulfill that it's
just not, it just can't and Iwish that I could.
You know, like tell my youngerself like, yes, it's okay to
want to be in a relationship,but you cannot be putting your
hope and striving and everythinginto it.
(11:15):
Like if you wanting to be in arelationship is affecting how
you're living your everyday lifein an unhealthy way.
With all of these thoughts, youshould probably see a counselor
.
I'm saying that to my youngerself.
Okay, my fourth tip Be willingto work on yourself and be
honest about ways that you mightbe holding yourself back.
(11:38):
Okay, I used to hide.
I used to be so insecure aboutwho I was like not only would I
wear baggy clothing because Iwas so insecure about the way
that my body looked, but I wouldhardly hardly talk to boys on
campus.
And in college, in high school,like rarely would I talk to
boys because I was so insecureabout showing people who I was.
(12:02):
I was so afraid of rejection.
Really, I wish I could havelooked back and like been honest
about myself, about ways I washolding myself back potentially
from finding a future partnerbecause I was never getting out.
I was like always in my room oronly with girls.
(12:22):
Like, looking back, I'm likehow would I think that I was
going to find somebody when Iwas literally never talking to
boys?
And the only reason why me andmy fiance are together is
because he reached out to me.
I really didn't even know himthat well, um, but he did work
with me on a video that I did oncampus for my song anxious
(12:46):
devotion.
It's on our channel, um, he wasrecording it, and so that's
kind of how we got connected.
But I was not talking to boyspeople because I was afraid of
them.
So, in ways that I needed to bewilling to work on myself would
have been working on myconfidence, working on getting
out there, working on talking toboys and thinking of them as
(13:10):
friends and not all as potentialfuture somebodies.
Ok, these are just someexamples that I wrote down about
ways that potentially we mightbe holding ourselves back.
Ok, this could be true for you.
This could be true for me.
I've seen it in a lot of people.
I've seen it in myself.
Okay, one do we know how to likereally have conversations with
(13:31):
guys?
In other words, are wedominating conversations?
Are we not able to read theroom?
Are we being rude because we'reso insecure that we're just
rude to boys?
I had that problem where I wasjust like somehow so insecure
myself that I was just rude notgetting out where Christian guys
are.
Like I said, I was always in myroom.
(13:53):
I was only ever with girls.
I didn't have many, many solidrelationships at my church with
guys.
And all this to say like we'renot trying to scheme over here
to find somebody, but it's likemaybe we need to have some
common sense that if we're nevergetting out, we're never being
(14:13):
around guys, our chances aregoing to fall.
Three our conversations withguys don't go past surface level
conversations.
If we're always joking, we'realways keeping things at the
surface, like how are weexpecting people to really get
to know us for who we are?
Four not talking to guysbecause they aren't your type.
I will get more into that on mylast point.
(14:35):
But writing men off because oftheir looks, I think is just
surface level and we've all doneit.
Five not caring at all about ourown physical appearance and
hygiene.
Guys notice when our hygieneisn't the best or when we aren't
taking care of ourselves.
(14:56):
If it's obvious to ourselvesthat we're not really taking
care of ourselves and it'sprobably going to be obvious to
other people.
Five we need to be honest abouthaving unrealistic standards
for men to be perfect.
If we're waiting for a guythat's going to be perfect and I
know we all say we're notwaiting for that but when we see
(15:18):
the first sign of a guy beinghuman, we run because we're
afraid of being hurt or whateveror it triggers something.
Just know that no man is goingto be perfect and so when they
show you the first signs of thembeing human, maybe we shouldn't
(15:39):
run, maybe we should stickaround and see what it looks
like to love them like Christdoes, a little bit longer.
And then my last point here isto stop focusing on looks and
height.
If this is your major firstcriteria, then we've got it all
wrong.
(15:59):
Okay, I don't know what it isabout women.
We do have a double standardwhere we're like we don't want
men to just like us because ofour looks, but that our first
criteria when looking for a guyis are they six feet tall?
Do they have abs?
Do they have facial hair?
You know all this stuff that isjust like so meaningless and
(16:25):
vain.
But if that is not the mostimportant thing to the Lord our
looks then it should not be themost important thing for us in
finding a partner.
It should be who they are onthe inside and to just try to
start thinking of men as made inthe image of God, and I think
(16:45):
that that'll just kind of helpus to stop like thinking of them
as options in a conveyor beltof potential future husbands.
It's like no, they're made inthe image of God.
There is beauty in each andevery one of them and we
shouldn't just write somebodyoff because they aren't blonde
or they aren't XYZ.
(17:05):
That is vain and we need tolook inward as to why we're
doing that.
Alrighty.
So those are my pieces ofadvice.
I hope that they were helpfulfor you.
I love you all so much.
And, of course, please check outour community.
We are so excited about thisnew season and going through
Genesis with you all.
If you've been wanting to studythrough Genesis, take this as
(17:26):
an opportunity to really join usas we teach you guys how to
study the Bible from thebeginning as well.
As don't forget, our communityoffers all of our courses on
there for free.
So if you've been wanting toinvest in your education, for
learning how to study the Biblefor yourself, please take a look
at our website and join us, andyou can even just do it for a
(17:50):
month and see how it feels.
So, with that being said, thankyou so much for enjoying this
podcast.
Please rate our podcast as wellif you like it, and we hope to
see you next week.
Bye.
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
Taylor Krause (00:27):
Hi everyone.
It is so good to be with you.
It's so good to talk to you andjust connect.
Obviously, if you guys arelistening to this podcast, you
are here to learn about what Iwould tell my younger single
self if I could go back and givemyself some pieces of advice.
Obviously, I am not my mothertoday, unless you guys think we
(00:50):
have the same voice, then Well,hello.
This is Taylor.
I am the youngest one here apart of Coffee Revival Time
mentor mama.
My mom usually hosts thispodcast, but today I'm taking
over.
I wanted to share with you guysjust what I shared on our
YouTube channel basically thispast week.
If you guys keep up regularly,then you may have already seen
(01:12):
this, but I basically created avideo sharing with you guys
everything I'm going to besharing with you today.
Only we are sharing it with apodcast because this kind of
ended up being a little bit moreof a popular video than I
expected, so I definitely didn'twant you guys to miss out.
This is fresh, this is new andI hope that you guys enjoy it
Without further ado.
(01:32):
Here is the podcast.
Welcome back to Coffee and BibleTime.
My name is Taylor.
If you're new here, welcome.
We make videos every week tohelp you grow in your
relationship with God and trulyfeel close to him, and a lot of
that is through Bible study,reading God's word, and some of
it is through some of these justlifestyle videos or chit chat
(01:54):
videos, like today's gonna be,which is gonna be on singleness
advice I would give to myyounger single self, but it's
also advice I would give to anyof you guys, and I'm telling you
a lot of these things.
I'm like I could have justhammered this into my head.
I would have saved myself a lotof heartache.
So I'm excited to get into this.
I have five tips that I'm goingto share, but before I do that,
(02:15):
I do want to let you guys knowthat we are going to be reading
through Genesis, kind of doing alittle bit more of an in-depth
dive, and me and my sister andmy mom we're going to be guiding
you guys along through this,but it's going to be on our
community page.
So we're going to be focusing alot of energy this new year
into pouring into in-depth studyand walking alongside of you
(02:39):
guys, like in live bible studyvideo formats.
So it does cost money to be apart of it.
But if you are wanting to kindof invest more into your
relationship with God andstudying your Bible, you know
you have the three of us thatare there to walk alongside of
you and to really be with you,live through video as we walk
through it.
So think of it kind of as likea little bit of like a mentor
(03:02):
type relationship, but alsoyou're in community with other
women who are wanting to do thesame thing and invest in their
relationship with God this newyear.
So yeah, if you're interestedin that, I'll have it linked
down below.
You can learn more about it onour website and today's video is
going to be kind of Christianadvice to my younger single self
and it's also just kind ofgoing to be a chit chat type of
(03:24):
video.
I wrote down a lot of points inmy journal here that I kind of
just wanted to share and be realand honest, that going through
singleness is hard, especiallyas a woman who is desiring to
have a godly relationship and tofind somebody who loves them
for who you are and how you'vebeen made in Christ.
(03:45):
Comment down below where you'reat if you want to share.
I'm sure a lot of us can relateand just kind of, yeah, comfort
each other.
So the first piece of advicethat I would give and if I could
hammer this into my head when Iwas younger, I would is that
you are not less than You're andyou are not unattractive just
(04:09):
because nobody's pursuing you.
And I want to just like putthis first and foremost, because
for some reason, I feel like,especially as women, we just
automatically go to like, oh,people aren't pursuing me.
There must be something wrongwith the way that I look, and
that is, I really just feel somuch of the enemy, like working
(04:32):
through social media and justmaking us really focus on things
that don't really matter.
Like, and when I was in highschool, my first two years of
college, I feel like I was sodown on myself for not being the
right size or not being prettyenough, or like always thinking
like, what can I do to makemyself look more attractive?
(04:55):
And I feel it was just so invain.
The fact that scripture tellsus right off the bat that God
looks at the heart, he's moreinterested in our heart, and
that a woman who is of value andof dignity is somebody who is
honorable, it's like all theseinward qualities right, that's
what matters to the lord.
(05:15):
But when we're single, we'renot being pursued.
We feel less than because allthese you know, quote unquote
beautiful women are beingpursued by attractive men.
I really feel like the devil ismaking us focus on things that
are just not important.
Now that I have met my futurehusband he's my fiance right now
(05:38):
he never made me feel like Iwas the wrong size or that I was
unattractive and like.
The ironic part is, when I waswith him at the beginning of our
relationship and throughout, Iwas probably the heaviest weight
I've ever been in at my life.
I was walking through eatingdisorder recovery, so I was
(06:01):
gaining weight.
I wasn't restricting food andit was such a healing thing for
me to be with a man who affirmedme of my body, told me that he
loved me for who I was, and henever made my weight something
that I should feel ashamed of orconcerned about.
(06:21):
But I'm telling you, whenyou're single and you're
struggling with not beingpursued, our brains race to this
place of well, I must not beattractive, I must be, you know,
overweight.
This is all a problem.
There are men out there thatare ready and willing to love
you for who you are, and if it'snot right in this moment, it
(06:44):
does not mean that it won't everhappen.
Okay, so the second piece ofadvice that I would give to my
younger single self, and anybodywho is single, is to become
more interested in how God seesyou than how men see you.
And I think that this is sotricky because when you're
single or at least how it wasfor me and you can comment down
(07:06):
below, this is if you relate tothis my thoughts were always
preoccupied with what are theseguys thinking of me?
Am I attractive?
Am I beautiful?
Are they finding some worth inme?
Even just like?
The way that I would like dressmyself in the morning was am I
dressing attractive?
Am I?
You know, I was always thinkingabout what could guys think of
me, especially even inconversations.
(07:27):
How am I presenting myself?
Do they think I'm smart?
You know, am I funny enough?
Yada, yada, yada.
I say that because why was I sopreoccupied with what I thought
men were thinking of me and wayless concerned about what God
was thinking of me.
And I'm telling you, when yourmind is so focused on what
(07:50):
people might be thinking of you,it is exhausting and it is so
completely futile because youwill never know.
You will never know what menare thinking of you and it
really doesn't matter I'm sayingthis to myself how many of
these men are going to be inyour life forever?
Very little, and a lot of them,I feel like, were kind of
(08:12):
strangers.
Looking back, I'm like why didI care about what these people
think?
I never talked to them.
It was just a waste of mymental energy and mind reading
like thinking you know what menare thinking.
That's also futile.
You don't know.
You don't know and we probablydon't want to know.
When you catch yourself thinkingabout, or caring over caring
(08:36):
about, what guys might bethinking of you, remind yourself
okay, I want to flip thisswitch.
I want to be thinking about you.
Remind yourself, okay, I wantto flip this switch.
I want to be thinking about you, lord.
I want to be thinking aboutwhat you think of me.
I want to be thinking about myinward qualities and I want to
improve myself.
I want to be the best versionof myself that I can be mentally
, physically, spiritually.
(08:57):
Focus that energy on what youthink people might be thinking
of you, into how you can be thebest that you can be for the
Lord and, as hard as it is,being open to what God has for
you in this season, whether itbe him bringing you somebody or
whether it not be that I feellike if I knew, looking back,
(09:20):
that I was going to be singlethrough our high school, I was
going to be single my first twoyears of college, I wouldn't be
thinking about men.
I would be focusing all thatenergy into who God has made me
to be and how much time would Ihave saved and how much mental
energy and, you know, chasingafter the wind would I be saving
.
Okay, so my third piece ofadvice is this there's nothing
(09:44):
wrong with wanting to be in arelationship.
Essentially, I would just wantto let my younger self know, and
you, any of you guys that aresingle there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be in arelationship.
I think that that is abeautiful desire.
You see immediately in Genesisthat God tells Adam it's not
good for you to be alone and hecreates a woman like.
(10:07):
There's this dynamic, thischemistry between men and women
that creates a beautiful, youknow God, honoring God,
reflective relationship.
We're meant to live incommunity.
It doesn't necessarily mean wehave to have a relationship in
order to reflect the image ofGod or to live in community.
No, you can do that as you'resingle and I do feel like I did
(10:30):
that as I was single.
But all that to say, you don'tneed to like get down on
yourself for wanting to be in arelationship.
On the flip side, I think ifyou are obsessing over wanting
to be in a relationship and wecan just be honest about it
right, because we've all beenthere, but you've got to be
honest if you are obsessingabout being in a relationship,
(10:54):
that is not healthy either,because there's something that
we're hoping in a relationshipis going to fulfill that it's
just not, it just can't and Iwish that I could.
You know, like tell my youngerself like, yes, it's okay to
want to be in a relationship,but you cannot be putting your
hope and striving and everythinginto it.
(11:15):
Like if you wanting to be in arelationship is affecting how
you're living your everyday lifein an unhealthy way.
With all of these thoughts, youshould probably see a counselor
.
I'm saying that to my youngerself.
Okay, my fourth tip Be willingto work on yourself and be
honest about ways that you mightbe holding yourself back.
(11:38):
Okay, I used to hide.
I used to be so insecure aboutwho I was like not only would I
wear baggy clothing because Iwas so insecure about the way
that my body looked, but I wouldhardly hardly talk to boys on
campus.
And in college, in high school,like rarely would I talk to
boys because I was so insecureabout showing people who I was.
(12:02):
I was so afraid of rejection.
Really, I wish I could havelooked back and like been honest
about myself, about ways I washolding myself back potentially
from finding a future partnerbecause I was never getting out.
I was like always in my room oronly with girls.
(12:22):
Like, looking back, I'm likehow would I think that I was
going to find somebody when Iwas literally never talking to
boys?
And the only reason why me andmy fiance are together is
because he reached out to me.
I really didn't even know himthat well, um, but he did work
with me on a video that I did oncampus for my song anxious
(12:46):
devotion.
It's on our channel, um, he wasrecording it, and so that's
kind of how we got connected.
But I was not talking to boyspeople because I was afraid of
them.
So, in ways that I needed to bewilling to work on myself would
have been working on myconfidence, working on getting
out there, working on talking toboys and thinking of them as
(13:10):
friends and not all as potentialfuture somebodies.
Ok, these are just someexamples that I wrote down about
ways that potentially we mightbe holding ourselves back.
Ok, this could be true for you.
This could be true for me.
I've seen it in a lot of people.
I've seen it in myself.
Okay, one do we know how to likereally have conversations with
(13:31):
guys?
In other words, are wedominating conversations?
Are we not able to read theroom?
Are we being rude because we'reso insecure that we're just
rude to boys?
I had that problem where I wasjust like somehow so insecure
myself that I was just rude notgetting out where Christian guys
are.
Like I said, I was always in myroom.
(13:53):
I was only ever with girls.
I didn't have many, many solidrelationships at my church with
guys.
And all this to say like we'renot trying to scheme over here
to find somebody, but it's likemaybe we need to have some
common sense that if we're nevergetting out, we're never being
(14:13):
around guys, our chances aregoing to fall.
Three our conversations withguys don't go past surface level
conversations.
If we're always joking, we'realways keeping things at the
surface, like how are weexpecting people to really get
to know us for who we are?
Four not talking to guysbecause they aren't your type.
I will get more into that on mylast point.
(14:35):
But writing men off because oftheir looks, I think is just
surface level and we've all doneit.
Five not caring at all about ourown physical appearance and
hygiene.
Guys notice when our hygieneisn't the best or when we aren't
taking care of ourselves.
(14:56):
If it's obvious to ourselvesthat we're not really taking
care of ourselves and it'sprobably going to be obvious to
other people.
Five we need to be honest abouthaving unrealistic standards
for men to be perfect.
If we're waiting for a guythat's going to be perfect and I
know we all say we're notwaiting for that but when we see
(15:18):
the first sign of a guy beinghuman, we run because we're
afraid of being hurt or whateveror it triggers something.
Just know that no man is goingto be perfect and so when they
show you the first signs of thembeing human, maybe we shouldn't
(15:39):
run, maybe we should stickaround and see what it looks
like to love them like Christdoes, a little bit longer.
And then my last point here isto stop focusing on looks and
height.
If this is your major firstcriteria, then we've got it all
wrong.
(15:59):
Okay, I don't know what it isabout women.
We do have a double standardwhere we're like we don't want
men to just like us because ofour looks, but that our first
criteria when looking for a guyis are they six feet tall?
Do they have abs?
Do they have facial hair?
You know all this stuff that isjust like so meaningless and
(16:25):
vain.
But if that is not the mostimportant thing to the Lord our
looks then it should not be themost important thing for us in
finding a partner.
It should be who they are onthe inside and to just try to
start thinking of men as made inthe image of God, and I think
(16:45):
that that'll just kind of helpus to stop like thinking of them
as options in a conveyor beltof potential future husbands.
It's like no, they're made inthe image of God.
There is beauty in each andevery one of them and we
shouldn't just write somebodyoff because they aren't blonde
or they aren't XYZ.
(17:05):
That is vain and we need tolook inward as to why we're
doing that.
Alrighty.
So those are my pieces ofadvice.
I hope that they were helpfulfor you.
I love you all so much.
And, of course, please check outour community.
We are so excited about thisnew season and going through
Genesis with you all.
If you've been wanting to studythrough Genesis, take this as
(17:26):
an opportunity to really join usas we teach you guys how to
study the Bible from thebeginning as well.
As don't forget, our communityoffers all of our courses on
there for free.
So if you've been wanting toinvest in your education, for
learning how to study the Biblefor yourself, please take a look
at our website and join us, andyou can even just do it for a
(17:50):
month and see how it feels.
So, with that being said, thankyou so much for enjoying this
podcast.
Please rate our podcast as wellif you like it, and we hope to
see you next week.
Bye.
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