July 3, 2025 • 32 mins
We explore James 1:19 and unpack practical ways to become better listeners, thoughtful speakers, and people who manage anger biblically in our relationships and conversations. Taylor shares about a bug flying in her mouth.
Scripture referenced:
- James 1:19
- James 3:4
- John 15:5
Ellen's Bible: Amplified 'Journal the Word' Bible
Sermon referenced: The Look that Changes Everything (note: Taylor accidentally misquoted this quote to Tim Keller. The original quote is from Gabe Fluhrer.)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ellen Krause (00:04):
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and youknow what.
I wanted to take just a secondbecause some of you might be new
to our podcast and let you knowthat Coffee and Bible Time.
We are a mother-two-daughterstrio and today I'm super excited
(00:47):
to have my daughter, taylor,with us talking about this topic
.
So I want you to think back toa time when you had a difficult
conversation with someone andthey truly listened to you.
How did that make you feel?
Well, in today's episode, we'regoing to talk about how to
(01:09):
become people who really listen,even when conversations get
tough.
James 1.19 says know this, mybeloved brothers let every
person be quick to hear, slow tospeak.
Let every person be quick tohear, slow to speak, slow to
(01:29):
anger.
That might sound simple, but weall know how hard it actually
is, especially when emotions arehigh or when we feel
misunderstood.
Well, taylor is here with metoday to unpack what this verse
means and how we can live it outin our conversations, our
conflicts and even our innerthought life.
Taylor Krause (01:49):
Hi, taylor.
Hi, it's so good to be backwith you.
I love talking with you on thepodcast.
For those of you that arelistening, hi, I want to say hi,
I love talking to you guys andI'm excited for today's topic on
James.
We've been going through thisin our community online.
We'll have a link to that inour show notes if you're curious
(02:10):
.
But it's been a great journeythrough a very practical book,
and this is the type of bookwhere you read it and, if you're
reading it right, the wheelsand the gears will be turning in
your head on how you want yourlife to be transformed.
Ellen Krause (02:31):
Yes, and a lot of things can seem so theoretical
or philosophical, but James isvery practical, very practical
In fact.
I want to start by reading thisverse again, but the amplified
version, because it really Ijust loved this because it goes
back to the original languageand really pulls out what these
(02:55):
important words meant.
So it says understand this, mybeloved brothers and sisters.
Let everyone be quick to hear.
And then it expands on here tosay be a careful, thoughtful
listener.
And it says slow to speak, aspeaker of carefully chosen
(03:18):
words, and slow to anger,patient, reflective and
forgiving.
Taylor Krause (03:25):
I love that.
I love that it helps you reallythink about this verse in a
more in-depth way.
It kind of elaborates on that.
Ellen Krause (03:33):
Yes, for sure.
Taylor Krause (03:34):
I'm excited to dig into it together.
Ellen Krause (03:36):
Okay, Well just Holy Spirit, be with us here
today as we dive into this andhelp us to walk away with some
practical things that we canapply to our life.
Amen, all right.
Well, the book of James, as wesaid, is so practical.
This verse is no exception.
It's short and it packs inthree powerful instructions.
(04:01):
So let's go through them one byone.
The first one is quick to hear.
Why do you think listening isthe first thing James tells us
to focus on.
Taylor Krause (04:19):
That's a great question.
I was actually really intoreading Tim Keller this month
and he was talking a lot aboutthe human heart and our pride
and what it means to be a humbleperson.
And being a good listener istruly foundational to being a
humble Christ follower.
Because when you change yourlife to be from following
(04:41):
yourself, following your ownthoughts, your own passions,
your own intuitions and youswitch and your allegiance
becomes to Christ, you are nowfirst and foremost not the
leader of your own life, you'rea follower.
You're a follower of Christ andbeing attuned to the Holy
Spirit.
And being a good follower ofChrist means really listening
(05:04):
well to what God says, what hisword says, slowing down so that
you can thoughtfully interpretGod's word and what that means
for your life, hearing the HolySpirit speak to you and nudge
you and prompt you to certainthings.
And I love what Tim Keller says.
(05:26):
He kind of talks about Jamesand he says Be quick to listen,
slow to speak.
Why?
Because the gospel is the deathof the primacy of our own
opinions.
In other words, if we're alwaysthinking that our opinions
matter most, the gospel laysthat to waste.
Our opinions matter most, thegospel lays that to waste.
(05:50):
It says the most importantthing we hear is not what comes
out of our own mouths, but whatcomes out of God's mouth to us.
What do you think about that?
Ellen Krause (06:00):
That's incredible and so true.
Taylor Krause (06:04):
I honestly think it doesn't have to be more
complicated than what James saysand that's something I love
about his book is he's straightto the point.
Be quick to listen.
He's saying that first,listening has to come first
before you can speak, before youcan feel justified in getting
angry.
Are you listening, are youreflective in that?
(06:24):
And that is not easy to do.
Ellen Krause (06:27):
No, no, Actually think about some good listeners
in your life.
What qualities do they have incommon?
Taylor Krause (06:39):
They're humble.
They're humble and they're notself-seeking.
They are okay with being wrongsometimes.
Their first priority is notprotecting their self-image or
their ego.
Conflict going on.
(07:01):
There's a conflict, but they'renot trying to turn it into a
fight because their ego is notinvolved.
Ellen Krause (07:04):
I have yet to achieve that.
I was thinking of someone whowas such a good listener, and
that was my dad, and I justremember him just not saying
anything, just truly looking mein the eyes and listening, and
for me, I really struggle withthat.
I think it's the ADD, becausewe're so impulsive that we're
(07:30):
always thinking to the nextthing, and that's something that
I'd really like to be better atand that I have to actually
work very hard at.
And sadly, I remember one time,Tay, when you were little and
you must have learned this atschool or something but you did
like the peace symbol with yourtwo fingers and then you pointed
(07:52):
it at my two eyes, and then youpointed it at your two eyes and
you were like Mom, like do youhear?
Taylor Krause (08:00):
me, do you?
Ellen Krause (08:00):
see me, hello yes.
You know what?
I remember that to this daybecause it taught me a lesson
that I wasn't listening.
Well, right, right.
So even your kids notice Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Taylor Krause (08:17):
Yeah, you can look like you're listening, but
if in your own head you'rethinking about this, that and
the other, especially in aconflict I'll say in a conflict.
Sometimes it'll look like I'mpeacefully listening and I am
gathering thoughts for my owndefense.
Scary, absolutely scary.
That's not listening, that ispride.
Ellen Krause (08:40):
We need to be quick to hear, which means being
careful, thoughtful, trulylistening, and then slow to
speak is a speaker of carefullychosen words.
So what do you think James istelling us about being slow to
(09:02):
speak and the importance of thatpart of it?
Taylor Krause (09:05):
Man, I think.
Well, first of all, I think allof these three pair up being
quick to listen, thoughtfullylistening.
That means you are not rushinginto speaking when you have not
carefully crafted wise words.
Okay, Because the Bible tellsus that your tongue, although it
(09:27):
might be small, it is like therudder of a ship that can steer
conversation into destruction.
And there is something aboutthe heat of the moment when you
are angry that you lose all sortof ability to control yourself
and your words are the firstthing to explode.
(09:51):
Honestly, daggers and and youknow I'm going to say this
because we're going to get on tobeing slow to anger some people
might not be explosive withtheir words and they have other
issues with anger that aren'thelpful or appropriate, like
stonewalling, cutting people off.
That is also letting your angercontrol a situation in a way
(10:12):
that isn't healing to anybody.
But, to begin with, being slowto speak, it's like what we said
before.
It's like what we said before.
Those of us that are followingChrist now have to challenge
ourselves to not prioritize ourown words, thoughts, impulses
over what God desires for us,which is self-control.
(10:36):
I'm not sitting here sayingthat I have self-control,
because that is something thatyou continually be sanctified to
have with the Lord and youwon't have self-control unless
you're abiding in him.
But self-control with the waythat we speak is people.
(11:13):
Both parties are quick tolisten and slow to speak.
You know what I'm saying.
Ellen Krause (11:20):
Absolutely, absolutely, because the danger
of speaking words that are notwell thought out can be so
devastating, and detrimental.
You can't take it back Cannotand things get seared into
people's minds they do, and ofcourse that requires forgiveness
(11:43):
eventually.
But I'm just saying James istrying to avoid that right.
By helping us get a grip on itbefore we do say something that
we regret.
Taylor Krause (11:55):
It's true and I think about, especially today,
in the digital age.
I don't know if it soundscheesy to say that, but the
amount of times that I have,impulsively, I'm mad somebody's
getting on my nerves.
I don't know if it's an emailI'm sending out, if it's text
message and I am typing away.
I am typing away paragraphafter paragraph.
(12:17):
My impulses are just flowingout of of me, okay, and right
before I'm about to click send,I think to myself, well, maybe I
should just read, read overwhat I said.
And and sometimes I'm like okay, taylor, this is a little scary
, okay that that you wereactually that fired up on
(12:39):
emotion.
And nowadays, with chat GPT,sometimes you're sending out an
email and you're upset andyou're like, okay, I'll just
throw this into chat GPT, andchat GPT will make me sound like
I'm not psycho, and chat GPT islike, okay, yeah, we can work
with this.
Let me just, you know, eraseeverything you said and be a lot
(13:03):
more diplomatic, have somedecorum here.
But truly, I think, aside fromthat funny stuff, the Holy
Spirit is really supposed to bewhat we're leaning into to
filter our thoughts and filterour words.
Filter our thoughts and filterour words.
And I've said this before butin your walk with the Lord, this
(13:27):
is not.
It's not a quick fix.
It's not reading a Bible verseand being like, oh yeah, I can
do that.
Like sure, boom, check Done.
I'm slow to speak, quick tohear, just because I've read
this Bible verse and I prayed toGod.
It is an abiding relationship,just because I've read this
Bible verse and I prayed to God.
It is an abiding relationshipwhich means it's like the
(13:51):
analogy of I am the vine, youare the branches.
You can't bear fruit, apartfrom me.
In other words, if you want tolive out these Bible verses, you
want to be quick to listen,slow to speak, slow to anger.
You cannot produce that goodfruit without leaning and
relying on the Lord.
He is what is going to be ableto make your path straight.
And I have said this before too.
(14:14):
And here I go rambling.
I'm always rambling when I'mgetting on these podcasts with
you.
But in the time that we're innow, with instant gratification,
with our phones, with laptops,everything, we do not have the
patience to slowly sanctify ourlife by abiding in Christ,
(14:40):
because it is not an instantgratification thing, it's daily
discipline.
Up in this generation of phones, I've hardly had a time in my
life where technology isn'tthere and I don't have memories
(15:00):
of that, like growing up inchildhood with phones and stuff.
Ipads in school, right, oh mygosh.
As soon as the iPads were outat least in my school district
they were like okay, in middleschool we're giving everybody
iPads and you can take thosethings home.
You can take those things home.
Then it's like okay, well, myattention span is about the size
(15:24):
of a pea, and now I'm lookingat the Bible and I'm like this
isn't looking all thatconvenient to sit down and even
prayer for more than threeminutes.
That sounds a bit inconvenient.
You know, it gets a little bitscary.
Ellen Krause (15:40):
Yes, you know, honestly, for me it's got to
come down to like those breathprayers, because when you're
about to be in the heat of themoment, or you know you're
getting riled up moment, oryou're getting riled up is just
(16:00):
praying in your mind.
Lord, help me here, help mebite my tongue so that I don't
say anything that I regret.
Take a five-minute time out.
I need to just stop, think,reflect before I say anything.
I think those are all pieces ofgood advice.
Well, let's jump into the slowto anger part, because you
started to allude to that resultof all of these things.
(16:27):
Why do you think that Jameslinks all these together in one
verse?
Taylor Krause (16:35):
I think I kind of said a little bit before, but
they all go hand in hand, theydo.
You know what I'm saying?
If you are quick to speak, thenyou're not listening.
If you're not listening, thenyou're probably quick to speak.
If you are exploding in anger,then chances are you're
(16:55):
prioritizing to a degree that'sdisproportionate to the
situation, your own emotions andyour own thoughts and feelings.
And you know I'm going to saythis anger is sometimes a
natural response to things thatare unjust, that you're really
hurt by.
But there has to be boundaries,right, there has to be
(17:17):
boundaries with any emotion thatyou have.
Anything can go overboard, andthat's because we're sinful
human beings, and even goodthings can become sinful, right,
it's not just these things wedeem bad or are unwanted, and so
they all go hand in hand.
(17:38):
You're probably going to beless likely to explode in anger
if you are practicing listeningthoughtfully, if you are
challenging yourself to be slowto speak.
It is not easy to do, which iswhy I said you have to rely on
(17:58):
God for that.
So what do you think, mom, interms of anger being sinful?
Ellen Krause (18:06):
Well, I guess the thing that comes right to my
mind is that it's not alwayssinful.
It's how we respond to it,because anger in certain
situations, when there's been aninjustice, is completely valid
Right.
Taylor Krause (18:25):
It's just how we express that emotion, without
letting it control us Right, andyou know what we talked about
this in our community, just howsometimes people get confused
when scripture shows God beingangry.
Like, oh, should we be afraidGod is angry?
(18:48):
He must be a scary God.
Or if God has the same type ofanger that we have, then is he
just out of control, whiplashingpeople with his anger?
Sometimes people kind ofpicture God as like somebody
who's shooting a lightning boltout of his finger and zapping
somebody if he gets upset.
(19:08):
People kind of picture God tohave human anger and the more
you read scripture, the more youstudy God's character and his
holiness.
Anger is something that poursout of, like you said, mom.
It's a result of there being aninjustice, it's a result of
(19:31):
unholiness, things not beingright.
It flows out of a place ofgoodness, from the Lord.
He is so good and he is so holythat to see injustice, vile,
evil, sinful things makes himfeel a righteous, holy anger
(19:53):
that is justified in his goodcharacter.
Now we don't really have thattype of righteous anger because
of the sinful world that we livein.
Ellen Krause (20:09):
And that's what James goes on to say in the next
verse.
He says let everyone be quickto hear, slow to speak, slow to
anger, for the anger of man doesnot produce the righteousness
of God.
So he knows that our humannature, you know we may be
(20:30):
attempting to have righteousanger, but that can really get
out of control.
Taylor Krause (20:38):
Right, and I'll say this, something that I
learned in my attempting downthat path of counseling.
For those of you that have beenfollowing along, I have been
out of my master's degreeprogram for a little bit now
because my school shut downsadly, and subsequently my
(21:03):
program with it, but Causing abit of anger.
Oh yeah, let's just say that Iwas going to say that anger is
actually a secondary emotion inmost cases, like anger is what
you, what presents, and if youfeel that anger and you dig
deeper, there's an emotionunderneath that presenting
(21:27):
emotion and a lot of times it'ssadness.
And I think that there'ssomething deep to that actually,
because sometimes I feel reallyheated up in anger and in an
argument and even just with mysister I was.
She was telling me the otherday, when you get angry in an
argument, you're very accusatory, you're not actually saying how
(21:49):
you're feeling, and there'ssomething in there where my
anger was just so, it felt sobig and so I felt an injustice,
right, and of course used thatas a means of justifying my
anger.
But when she did say likeyou're not saying how you're
(22:10):
feeling, you're not saying howyou're feeling, yeah, that
annoyed me in the moment.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm like, okay, let's stopgetting to my emotions, let's
move past this.
I'm not in the mood Later tosee like underneath the surface
of this erupting anger is a lotof sadness over whatever
happened.
And that's because we'refragile, right, yeah, and it
(22:35):
really gets down to I mean notto be cheesy, but like the
little person in us, the littlegirl or the little boy that
feels that pain and thatinjustice, and there's something
in us that's like, yeah, let'sprotect ourselves with this
anger, but really we're sad,we're hiding behind that anger
(22:55):
sometimes.
What are your thoughts on that?
Ellen Krause (22:59):
Yeah, I was just thinking when you said that,
that little girl inside, and I'mthinking back just to my own
situation of being adopted andsometimes being angry at you
know why didn't they keep me?
(23:20):
But now that you say that, andif I look back deeper into it,
it is because I have a sense ofsadness.
Although I am truly gratefulthat I had two loving parents, I
think just part of beingadopted wondering where you came
from is a legitimate naturalfeeling, but I can see how that
(23:46):
there is something deeperunderneath that for sure.
Amen, that was deep.
Well, as we start to kind ofwrap this up, how would you
suggest to people like maybe afirst few steps just to live out
this verse?
Taylor Krause (24:06):
That's a great question for all of us to hear,
and I'm saying this to myselftoo, because I need.
All the wisdom that I can getIs being quick to listen, for a
believer starts with you andyour relationship with God
(24:28):
Listening to what he has to sayand going to his word to hear
what he has to say.
If you are like, okay, Ihaven't been really in God's
word lately, start in Jamesactually, because it is a very,
very practical book and it's agreat book for if you're busy
(24:49):
and you only can read a coupleverses at a time to really soak
in and ingest.
Great book for that.
But start with listening towhat God's word says.
People ask us a lot I think Isaid this in a couple podcasts
ago what is God's will for mylife?
I just want to know what godhas to say.
His word was given to us by thelord, divine inspiration,
(25:16):
through the hands of humanauthors.
We do believe here at coffeeand bible time and encourage you
to challenge yourself to seegod's word as the living word of
god.
And if you do that and you readGod's word and you challenge
yourself, even if you'restruggling, coming to him in
prayer, asking Lord, show me,help me listen through your word
(25:38):
.
That is going to be the mosttransformative time in your life
are the times that you wereshaped by God's word in
listening to what he has to say.
That's the first step in beingquick to listen.
With that then is thetransformed life that follows,
and when you really do abidewith the Lord, your
(25:59):
relationships with other peopleand how you interact in terms of
oh hey, when you are getting inconflict, you're probably going
to be more likely to be quickto listen and slow to speak and
slow to get angry, because youare going to look more like
Christ, the more you are reallyin his word and the more you're
praying, especially prayers thatsound like Lord.
(26:22):
Sharpen me or show me the waysthat I can grow.
Show me the ways that I canchange.
Convict me when my anger isgetting out of control.
Ellen Krause (26:31):
I think having another Christian in your life
that can call you out is soincredibly helpful.
It stings, it's painful at thetime, but I think that's also
what really helps us grow iswhen someone sees it in us and
we're like.
Taylor Krause (26:48):
is when someone sees it in us and we're like oh,
I have to say this just becauseit is so on topic.
But yeah, mom, you are that forme.
I think you know that I'll begetting out of the house soon,
so I won't have thisaccountability partner, so I'm
getting off the hook in a littlebit Just kidding.
We can cover that on FaceTime,okay, yeah, and you know, isaac
(27:11):
doesn't let me slide, okay, whenI, when I get nuts, but anyways
, um, this is funny and actuallyis potentially no purpose me
saying this, but yesterday wewere on a walk and I was just
telling her about I was fired upabout something.
Okay, not going to lie, I amPMSing, okay, but I was fired up
(27:33):
about something and I wastelling her.
I was like I was in the middleof this heated argument and like
a bug flew in my mouth.
And then I'm talking, I'mtalking, talking, and then again
a bug flew in my mouth for thesecond time.
And the second bug, it wasn't alittle bug, it was like a fly,
okay.
And the second bug, it wasn't alittle bug, it was like a fly,
okay, I spit that thing out sofast.
I was like you've got to bekidding me Two bugs in one day
(27:56):
in my mouth.
And my mom was like you know,taylor, maybe it's because you
aren't really being slow tospeak, quick, listen.
And I was like, oh my gosh, youknow what?
You might actually be right,and if there were always bugs
(28:21):
flying into my mouth when I wasflying off the handle, that
might just be the accountabilityI need.
Honestly, I was like I hope Idon't contract diseases from
that fly.
Ellen Krause (28:35):
Oh my, I mean, I was like half joking when I said
that too, though, because itwas pretty hilarious it was.
Taylor Krause (28:38):
I did scare you half to death when I was
spitting that fly out.
Yes, you did.
Ellen Krause (28:44):
Oh my Well.
Thank you so much, TA, forbeing here for discussing this,
and I just want to encourageanyone who's listening that
that's what the power of Jesusdoes inside of you.
I have seen people in my lifetransformed from this whole,
(29:08):
being quick to anger, and it hasbeen an incredible God honoring
journey, and so believe thatwhen God says there's nothing
that's impossible for him, it istrue.
Would you mind closing us outin prayer?
Taylor Krause (29:27):
Absolutely, dear Lord, we just praise you for who
you are.
We believe that you are such agood God.
Lord, we want to honor you inthe way that we live out our
lives and interact with otherpeople, and we just take a
moment to confess and lay atyour feet the ways that we have
(29:50):
not honored you with ouremotions and with the way that
we handle our anger.
With that, lord, we ask wouldyou help us to abide in you?
Would you help us to change ourpath and help us to look more
like you?
Help us to glorify you in theway that we interact with other
(30:10):
people, in being quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get
angry.
Lord we ask all these things inyour name, amen.
Ellen Krause (30:19):
Amen.
Thank you so much for beinghere to listen to the Coffee and
Bible Time podcast.
We would love it if you wouldshare this with a friend and
subscribe.
We love you all.
Have a blessed day.
At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
Our goal is to help you delightin God's Word and thrive in
Christian living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and youknow what.
I wanted to take just a secondbecause some of you might be new
to our podcast and let you knowthat Coffee and Bible Time.
We are a mother-two-daughterstrio and today I'm super excited
(00:47):
to have my daughter, taylor,with us talking about this topic
.
So I want you to think back toa time when you had a difficult
conversation with someone andthey truly listened to you.
How did that make you feel?
Well, in today's episode, we'regoing to talk about how to
(01:09):
become people who really listen,even when conversations get
tough.
James 1.19 says know this, mybeloved brothers let every
person be quick to hear, slow tospeak.
Let every person be quick tohear, slow to speak, slow to
(01:29):
anger.
That might sound simple, but weall know how hard it actually
is, especially when emotions arehigh or when we feel
misunderstood.
Well, taylor is here with metoday to unpack what this verse
means and how we can live it outin our conversations, our
conflicts and even our innerthought life.
Taylor Krause (01:49):
Hi, taylor.
Hi, it's so good to be backwith you.
I love talking with you on thepodcast.
For those of you that arelistening, hi, I want to say hi,
I love talking to you guys andI'm excited for today's topic on
James.
We've been going through thisin our community online.
We'll have a link to that inour show notes if you're curious
(02:10):
.
But it's been a great journeythrough a very practical book,
and this is the type of bookwhere you read it and, if you're
reading it right, the wheelsand the gears will be turning in
your head on how you want yourlife to be transformed.
Ellen Krause (02:31):
Yes, and a lot of things can seem so theoretical
or philosophical, but James isvery practical, very practical
In fact.
I want to start by reading thisverse again, but the amplified
version, because it really Ijust loved this because it goes
back to the original languageand really pulls out what these
(02:55):
important words meant.
So it says understand this, mybeloved brothers and sisters.
Let everyone be quick to hear.
And then it expands on here tosay be a careful, thoughtful
listener.
And it says slow to speak, aspeaker of carefully chosen
(03:18):
words, and slow to anger,patient, reflective and
forgiving.
Taylor Krause (03:25):
I love that.
I love that it helps you reallythink about this verse in a
more in-depth way.
It kind of elaborates on that.
Ellen Krause (03:33):
Yes, for sure.
Taylor Krause (03:34):
I'm excited to dig into it together.
Ellen Krause (03:36):
Okay, Well just Holy Spirit, be with us here
today as we dive into this andhelp us to walk away with some
practical things that we canapply to our life.
Amen, all right.
Well, the book of James, as wesaid, is so practical.
This verse is no exception.
It's short and it packs inthree powerful instructions.
(04:01):
So let's go through them one byone.
The first one is quick to hear.
Why do you think listening isthe first thing James tells us
to focus on.
Taylor Krause (04:19):
That's a great question.
I was actually really intoreading Tim Keller this month
and he was talking a lot aboutthe human heart and our pride
and what it means to be a humbleperson.
And being a good listener istruly foundational to being a
humble Christ follower.
Because when you change yourlife to be from following
(04:41):
yourself, following your ownthoughts, your own passions,
your own intuitions and youswitch and your allegiance
becomes to Christ, you are nowfirst and foremost not the
leader of your own life, you'rea follower.
You're a follower of Christ andbeing attuned to the Holy
Spirit.
And being a good follower ofChrist means really listening
(05:04):
well to what God says, what hisword says, slowing down so that
you can thoughtfully interpretGod's word and what that means
for your life, hearing the HolySpirit speak to you and nudge
you and prompt you to certainthings.
And I love what Tim Keller says.
(05:26):
He kind of talks about Jamesand he says Be quick to listen,
slow to speak.
Why?
Because the gospel is the deathof the primacy of our own
opinions.
In other words, if we're alwaysthinking that our opinions
matter most, the gospel laysthat to waste.
Our opinions matter most, thegospel lays that to waste.
(05:50):
It says the most importantthing we hear is not what comes
out of our own mouths, but whatcomes out of God's mouth to us.
What do you think about that?
Ellen Krause (06:00):
That's incredible and so true.
Taylor Krause (06:04):
I honestly think it doesn't have to be more
complicated than what James saysand that's something I love
about his book is he's straightto the point.
Be quick to listen.
He's saying that first,listening has to come first
before you can speak, before youcan feel justified in getting
angry.
Are you listening, are youreflective in that?
(06:24):
And that is not easy to do.
Ellen Krause (06:27):
No, no, Actually think about some good listeners
in your life.
What qualities do they have incommon?
Taylor Krause (06:39):
They're humble.
They're humble and they're notself-seeking.
They are okay with being wrongsometimes.
Their first priority is notprotecting their self-image or
their ego.
Conflict going on.
(07:01):
There's a conflict, but they'renot trying to turn it into a
fight because their ego is notinvolved.
Ellen Krause (07:04):
I have yet to achieve that.
I was thinking of someone whowas such a good listener, and
that was my dad, and I justremember him just not saying
anything, just truly looking mein the eyes and listening, and
for me, I really struggle withthat.
I think it's the ADD, becausewe're so impulsive that we're
(07:30):
always thinking to the nextthing, and that's something that
I'd really like to be better atand that I have to actually
work very hard at.
And sadly, I remember one time,Tay, when you were little and
you must have learned this atschool or something but you did
like the peace symbol with yourtwo fingers and then you pointed
(07:52):
it at my two eyes, and then youpointed it at your two eyes and
you were like Mom, like do youhear?
Taylor Krause (08:00):
me, do you?
Ellen Krause (08:00):
see me, hello yes.
You know what?
I remember that to this daybecause it taught me a lesson
that I wasn't listening.
Well, right, right.
So even your kids notice Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Taylor Krause (08:17):
Yeah, you can look like you're listening, but
if in your own head you'rethinking about this, that and
the other, especially in aconflict I'll say in a conflict.
Sometimes it'll look like I'mpeacefully listening and I am
gathering thoughts for my owndefense.
Scary, absolutely scary.
That's not listening, that ispride.
Ellen Krause (08:40):
We need to be quick to hear, which means being
careful, thoughtful, trulylistening, and then slow to
speak is a speaker of carefullychosen words.
So what do you think James istelling us about being slow to
(09:02):
speak and the importance of thatpart of it?
Taylor Krause (09:05):
Man, I think.
Well, first of all, I think allof these three pair up being
quick to listen, thoughtfullylistening.
That means you are not rushinginto speaking when you have not
carefully crafted wise words.
Okay, Because the Bible tellsus that your tongue, although it
(09:27):
might be small, it is like therudder of a ship that can steer
conversation into destruction.
And there is something aboutthe heat of the moment when you
are angry that you lose all sortof ability to control yourself
and your words are the firstthing to explode.
(09:51):
Honestly, daggers and and youknow I'm going to say this
because we're going to get on tobeing slow to anger some people
might not be explosive withtheir words and they have other
issues with anger that aren'thelpful or appropriate, like
stonewalling, cutting people off.
That is also letting your angercontrol a situation in a way
(10:12):
that isn't healing to anybody.
But, to begin with, being slowto speak, it's like what we said
before.
It's like what we said before.
Those of us that are followingChrist now have to challenge
ourselves to not prioritize ourown words, thoughts, impulses
over what God desires for us,which is self-control.
(10:36):
I'm not sitting here sayingthat I have self-control,
because that is something thatyou continually be sanctified to
have with the Lord and youwon't have self-control unless
you're abiding in him.
But self-control with the waythat we speak is people.
(11:13):
Both parties are quick tolisten and slow to speak.
You know what I'm saying.
Ellen Krause (11:20):
Absolutely, absolutely, because the danger
of speaking words that are notwell thought out can be so
devastating, and detrimental.
You can't take it back Cannotand things get seared into
people's minds they do, and ofcourse that requires forgiveness
(11:43):
eventually.
But I'm just saying James istrying to avoid that right.
By helping us get a grip on itbefore we do say something that
we regret.
Taylor Krause (11:55):
It's true and I think about, especially today,
in the digital age.
I don't know if it soundscheesy to say that, but the
amount of times that I have,impulsively, I'm mad somebody's
getting on my nerves.
I don't know if it's an emailI'm sending out, if it's text
message and I am typing away.
I am typing away paragraphafter paragraph.
(12:17):
My impulses are just flowingout of of me, okay, and right
before I'm about to click send,I think to myself, well, maybe I
should just read, read overwhat I said.
And and sometimes I'm like okay, taylor, this is a little scary
, okay that that you wereactually that fired up on
(12:39):
emotion.
And nowadays, with chat GPT,sometimes you're sending out an
email and you're upset andyou're like, okay, I'll just
throw this into chat GPT, andchat GPT will make me sound like
I'm not psycho, and chat GPT islike, okay, yeah, we can work
with this.
Let me just, you know, eraseeverything you said and be a lot
(13:03):
more diplomatic, have somedecorum here.
But truly, I think, aside fromthat funny stuff, the Holy
Spirit is really supposed to bewhat we're leaning into to
filter our thoughts and filterour words.
Filter our thoughts and filterour words.
And I've said this before butin your walk with the Lord, this
(13:27):
is not.
It's not a quick fix.
It's not reading a Bible verseand being like, oh yeah, I can
do that.
Like sure, boom, check Done.
I'm slow to speak, quick tohear, just because I've read
this Bible verse and I prayed toGod.
It is an abiding relationship,just because I've read this
Bible verse and I prayed to God.
It is an abiding relationshipwhich means it's like the
(13:51):
analogy of I am the vine, youare the branches.
You can't bear fruit, apartfrom me.
In other words, if you want tolive out these Bible verses, you
want to be quick to listen,slow to speak, slow to anger.
You cannot produce that goodfruit without leaning and
relying on the Lord.
He is what is going to be ableto make your path straight.
And I have said this before too.
(14:14):
And here I go rambling.
I'm always rambling when I'mgetting on these podcasts with
you.
But in the time that we're innow, with instant gratification,
with our phones, with laptops,everything, we do not have the
patience to slowly sanctify ourlife by abiding in Christ,
(14:40):
because it is not an instantgratification thing, it's daily
discipline.
Up in this generation of phones, I've hardly had a time in my
life where technology isn'tthere and I don't have memories
(15:00):
of that, like growing up inchildhood with phones and stuff.
Ipads in school, right, oh mygosh.
As soon as the iPads were outat least in my school district
they were like okay, in middleschool we're giving everybody
iPads and you can take thosethings home.
You can take those things home.
Then it's like okay, well, myattention span is about the size
(15:24):
of a pea, and now I'm lookingat the Bible and I'm like this
isn't looking all thatconvenient to sit down and even
prayer for more than threeminutes.
That sounds a bit inconvenient.
You know, it gets a little bitscary.
Ellen Krause (15:40):
Yes, you know, honestly, for me it's got to
come down to like those breathprayers, because when you're
about to be in the heat of themoment, or you know you're
getting riled up moment, oryou're getting riled up is just
(16:00):
praying in your mind.
Lord, help me here, help mebite my tongue so that I don't
say anything that I regret.
Take a five-minute time out.
I need to just stop, think,reflect before I say anything.
I think those are all pieces ofgood advice.
Well, let's jump into the slowto anger part, because you
started to allude to that resultof all of these things.
(16:27):
Why do you think that Jameslinks all these together in one
verse?
Taylor Krause (16:35):
I think I kind of said a little bit before, but
they all go hand in hand, theydo.
You know what I'm saying?
If you are quick to speak, thenyou're not listening.
If you're not listening, thenyou're probably quick to speak.
If you are exploding in anger,then chances are you're
(16:55):
prioritizing to a degree that'sdisproportionate to the
situation, your own emotions andyour own thoughts and feelings.
And you know I'm going to saythis anger is sometimes a
natural response to things thatare unjust, that you're really
hurt by.
But there has to be boundaries,right, there has to be
(17:17):
boundaries with any emotion thatyou have.
Anything can go overboard, andthat's because we're sinful
human beings, and even goodthings can become sinful, right,
it's not just these things wedeem bad or are unwanted, and so
they all go hand in hand.
(17:38):
You're probably going to beless likely to explode in anger
if you are practicing listeningthoughtfully, if you are
challenging yourself to be slowto speak.
It is not easy to do, which iswhy I said you have to rely on
(17:58):
God for that.
So what do you think, mom, interms of anger being sinful?
Ellen Krause (18:06):
Well, I guess the thing that comes right to my
mind is that it's not alwayssinful.
It's how we respond to it,because anger in certain
situations, when there's been aninjustice, is completely valid
Right.
Taylor Krause (18:25):
It's just how we express that emotion, without
letting it control us Right, andyou know what we talked about
this in our community, just howsometimes people get confused
when scripture shows God beingangry.
Like, oh, should we be afraidGod is angry?
(18:48):
He must be a scary God.
Or if God has the same type ofanger that we have, then is he
just out of control, whiplashingpeople with his anger?
Sometimes people kind ofpicture God as like somebody
who's shooting a lightning boltout of his finger and zapping
somebody if he gets upset.
(19:08):
People kind of picture God tohave human anger and the more
you read scripture, the more youstudy God's character and his
holiness.
Anger is something that poursout of, like you said, mom.
It's a result of there being aninjustice, it's a result of
(19:31):
unholiness, things not beingright.
It flows out of a place ofgoodness, from the Lord.
He is so good and he is so holythat to see injustice, vile,
evil, sinful things makes himfeel a righteous, holy anger
(19:53):
that is justified in his goodcharacter.
Now we don't really have thattype of righteous anger because
of the sinful world that we livein.
Ellen Krause (20:09):
And that's what James goes on to say in the next
verse.
He says let everyone be quickto hear, slow to speak, slow to
anger, for the anger of man doesnot produce the righteousness
of God.
So he knows that our humannature, you know we may be
(20:30):
attempting to have righteousanger, but that can really get
out of control.
Taylor Krause (20:38):
Right, and I'll say this, something that I
learned in my attempting downthat path of counseling.
For those of you that have beenfollowing along, I have been
out of my master's degreeprogram for a little bit now
because my school shut downsadly, and subsequently my
(21:03):
program with it, but Causing abit of anger.
Oh yeah, let's just say that Iwas going to say that anger is
actually a secondary emotion inmost cases, like anger is what
you, what presents, and if youfeel that anger and you dig
deeper, there's an emotionunderneath that presenting
(21:27):
emotion and a lot of times it'ssadness.
And I think that there'ssomething deep to that actually,
because sometimes I feel reallyheated up in anger and in an
argument and even just with mysister I was.
She was telling me the otherday, when you get angry in an
argument, you're very accusatory, you're not actually saying how
(21:49):
you're feeling, and there'ssomething in there where my
anger was just so, it felt sobig and so I felt an injustice,
right, and of course used thatas a means of justifying my
anger.
But when she did say likeyou're not saying how you're
(22:10):
feeling, you're not saying howyou're feeling, yeah, that
annoyed me in the moment.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm like, okay, let's stopgetting to my emotions, let's
move past this.
I'm not in the mood Later tosee like underneath the surface
of this erupting anger is a lotof sadness over whatever
happened.
And that's because we'refragile, right, yeah, and it
(22:35):
really gets down to I mean notto be cheesy, but like the
little person in us, the littlegirl or the little boy that
feels that pain and thatinjustice, and there's something
in us that's like, yeah, let'sprotect ourselves with this
anger, but really we're sad,we're hiding behind that anger
(22:55):
sometimes.
What are your thoughts on that?
Ellen Krause (22:59):
Yeah, I was just thinking when you said that,
that little girl inside, and I'mthinking back just to my own
situation of being adopted andsometimes being angry at you
know why didn't they keep me?
(23:20):
But now that you say that, andif I look back deeper into it,
it is because I have a sense ofsadness.
Although I am truly gratefulthat I had two loving parents, I
think just part of beingadopted wondering where you came
from is a legitimate naturalfeeling, but I can see how that
(23:46):
there is something deeperunderneath that for sure.
Amen, that was deep.
Well, as we start to kind ofwrap this up, how would you
suggest to people like maybe afirst few steps just to live out
this verse?
Taylor Krause (24:06):
That's a great question for all of us to hear,
and I'm saying this to myselftoo, because I need.
All the wisdom that I can getIs being quick to listen, for a
believer starts with you andyour relationship with God
(24:28):
Listening to what he has to sayand going to his word to hear
what he has to say.
If you are like, okay, Ihaven't been really in God's
word lately, start in Jamesactually, because it is a very,
very practical book and it's agreat book for if you're busy
(24:49):
and you only can read a coupleverses at a time to really soak
in and ingest.
Great book for that.
But start with listening towhat God's word says.
People ask us a lot I think Isaid this in a couple podcasts
ago what is God's will for mylife?
I just want to know what godhas to say.
His word was given to us by thelord, divine inspiration,
(25:16):
through the hands of humanauthors.
We do believe here at coffeeand bible time and encourage you
to challenge yourself to seegod's word as the living word of
god.
And if you do that and you readGod's word and you challenge
yourself, even if you'restruggling, coming to him in
prayer, asking Lord, show me,help me listen through your word
(25:38):
.
That is going to be the mosttransformative time in your life
are the times that you wereshaped by God's word in
listening to what he has to say.
That's the first step in beingquick to listen.
With that then is thetransformed life that follows,
and when you really do abidewith the Lord, your
(25:59):
relationships with other peopleand how you interact in terms of
oh hey, when you are getting inconflict, you're probably going
to be more likely to be quickto listen and slow to speak and
slow to get angry, because youare going to look more like
Christ, the more you are reallyin his word and the more you're
praying, especially prayers thatsound like Lord.
(26:22):
Sharpen me or show me the waysthat I can grow.
Show me the ways that I canchange.
Convict me when my anger isgetting out of control.
Ellen Krause (26:31):
I think having another Christian in your life
that can call you out is soincredibly helpful.
It stings, it's painful at thetime, but I think that's also
what really helps us grow iswhen someone sees it in us and
we're like.
Taylor Krause (26:48):
is when someone sees it in us and we're like oh,
I have to say this just becauseit is so on topic.
But yeah, mom, you are that forme.
I think you know that I'll begetting out of the house soon,
so I won't have thisaccountability partner, so I'm
getting off the hook in a littlebit Just kidding.
We can cover that on FaceTime,okay, yeah, and you know, isaac
(27:11):
doesn't let me slide, okay, whenI, when I get nuts, but anyways
, um, this is funny and actuallyis potentially no purpose me
saying this, but yesterday wewere on a walk and I was just
telling her about I was fired upabout something.
Okay, not going to lie, I amPMSing, okay, but I was fired up
(27:33):
about something and I wastelling her.
I was like I was in the middleof this heated argument and like
a bug flew in my mouth.
And then I'm talking, I'mtalking, talking, and then again
a bug flew in my mouth for thesecond time.
And the second bug, it wasn't alittle bug, it was like a fly,
okay.
And the second bug, it wasn't alittle bug, it was like a fly,
okay, I spit that thing out sofast.
I was like you've got to bekidding me Two bugs in one day
(27:56):
in my mouth.
And my mom was like you know,taylor, maybe it's because you
aren't really being slow tospeak, quick, listen.
And I was like, oh my gosh, youknow what?
You might actually be right,and if there were always bugs
(28:21):
flying into my mouth when I wasflying off the handle, that
might just be the accountabilityI need.
Honestly, I was like I hope Idon't contract diseases from
that fly.
Ellen Krause (28:35):
Oh my, I mean, I was like half joking when I said
that too, though, because itwas pretty hilarious it was.
Taylor Krause (28:38):
I did scare you half to death when I was
spitting that fly out.
Yes, you did.
Ellen Krause (28:44):
Oh my Well.
Thank you so much, TA, forbeing here for discussing this,
and I just want to encourageanyone who's listening that
that's what the power of Jesusdoes inside of you.
I have seen people in my lifetransformed from this whole,
(29:08):
being quick to anger, and it hasbeen an incredible God honoring
journey, and so believe thatwhen God says there's nothing
that's impossible for him, it istrue.
Would you mind closing us outin prayer?
Taylor Krause (29:27):
Absolutely, dear Lord, we just praise you for who
you are.
We believe that you are such agood God.
Lord, we want to honor you inthe way that we live out our
lives and interact with otherpeople, and we just take a
moment to confess and lay atyour feet the ways that we have
(29:50):
not honored you with ouremotions and with the way that
we handle our anger.
With that, lord, we ask wouldyou help us to abide in you?
Would you help us to change ourpath and help us to look more
like you?
Help us to glorify you in theway that we interact with other
(30:10):
people, in being quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get
angry.
Lord we ask all these things inyour name, amen.
Ellen Krause (30:19):
Amen.
Thank you so much for beinghere to listen to the Coffee and
Bible Time podcast.
We would love it if you wouldshare this with a friend and
subscribe.
We love you all.
Have a blessed day.
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