October 16, 2025 • 31 mins
Sometimes the only thing you can do during profound loss is hold on tight to God. Ellen sits down with Emily Jackson to hear about her ongoing journey through pregnancy loss and infertility, and learn how faith has helped her survive the grief.
Check out Emily's devotional, The Weight of the World: A Devotional for Women in Times of Doubt, Hardship, & Loss in Your Journey to Conceive
Scripture referenced:
- Philippians 4:6-7
- Genesis 18:1-15, 21:1-7
- Genesis 50:20
Learn about Emily:
Website | LinkedIn | Newsletter
Emily's faves:
Want more from this conversation?
Join our Coffee and Bible Time Community for exclusive bonus content you won’t hear anywhere else—including extended podcast episodes, behind-the-scenes extras, and our weekly book club led by Ashley, Taylor, Mentor Mama, and special guests. Come grow with us!
📖 Struggling with Bible study? We wrote a book for you. Check out The EASY Bible Study Method, a guide to both enrich and simplify your time in Scripture. Want to read an excerpt? Click here!
💌 We want to stay in touch!! Check out our newsletter here 💞
🤝 To support the work of Coffee and Bible Time, donate here
💗 See what Ellen, Taylor, Ashley, and guests are loving on Amazon
https://coffeeandbibletime.com
Some of the links in this episode may be affiliate links, meaning if you click through and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ellen Krause (00:04):
The Coffee of Bible Time podcast, our goal is
to help you delight in God'sWord and thrive in Christian
living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times, and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and I'mso grateful that you have joined
us for today's conversation.
If you've ever walked through aseason of waiting, one filled
with longing, uncertainty, andperhaps even grief, today's
(00:47):
episode is for you.
My guest, Emily Jackson, knowswhat it's like to carry the ache
of unanswered prayers whilestill holding on to faith in a
God who sees, hears, and deeplycares.
Emily is a speaker, a careercoach, and a woman of faith who
has journeyed throughinfertility and pregnancy loss.
(01:11):
Above all, she is someone whohas chosen to meet the pain in
her life with honesty,scripture, and hope.
So whether you're navigating asimilar road, supporting a
friend through it, or simplywondering how to trust God in
the midst of unansweredquestions, I truly believe
(01:31):
Emily's words will minister toyour heart today.
So grab your coffee, open yourBible, and let's dive in.
Emily, welcome to the Coffeeand Bible Time podcast.
We're so honored to have youwith us.
Emily Jackson (01:46):
Thank you so much.
I'm so happy to be here.
It's just a blessing to be ableto speak with you and your
listeners today.
Ellen Krause (01:52):
Oh, very good.
Well, tell us a little bitabout yourself to any listeners
who don't know you yet.
Emily Jackson (02:00):
Yeah, so you know, I'm Emily Jackson.
I'm in the professional worldas a sales professional for an
RFID technology company.
Uh we won't dive into thattoday, but that's what I do
professionally.
Um, but yes, I am a careertransition coach and speaker as
well, and the a first-timeauthor, and that's a lot of what
we're talking about today.
(02:21):
I'm in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Um, if you do hear any type ofaccent from me, it's not a
Cincinnati accent.
I'm originally from Louisville,Kentucky.
So there is a little bit ofSouthern accent sometimes in
there.
So if you catch that.
Um I'm definitely catchingthat, but I'm in Chicago, so I
(02:41):
mean, every once in a while itkind of gets in there when I'm
passionate about something orwhen I'm angry about something.
So, you know, you never know.
Um, but yeah, and then a littlemore about me is I, you know, I
am a follower of Christ.
I accepted Christ into my lifeat 11 years old.
My twin sister and I did thattogether.
I haven't always been followingChrist as well as I should
(03:05):
have, and I think we all gothrough journeys of that, but
this experience with pregnancyloss and difficulty conceiving
brought me closer to God thanI've ever been.
And so uh I know that he'sdoing that on purpose.
Ellen Krause (03:20):
Absolutely.
Well, seeking the right timingto become a mother and fertility
challenges are both suchpersonal topics for women.
Would you be willing to shareyour journey of desiring
motherhood and just your storyaround infertility and loss?
Emily Jackson (03:42):
Yeah, you know, as I said, I I struggled in my
faith for a long time, and partof that was was selfishness,
honestly.
I and the reason that I sayselfishness is because I was
putting my career goals and justmy need to be independent in
front of God.
So I was, you know, worshipingthose things instead of God.
(04:03):
And because of those things, Ikind of was falling into that
worldly mindset of, oh, youknow, to be a strong woman,
you've got to be just careerpath ready.
That's all you're focused on.
I'm not gonna have time for afamily.
And then on the flip side ofthat, I I think that the devil
was kind of working in my lifethrough that, telling me that I
wasn't set up to be a mom.
(04:25):
Maybe I wasn't, you know, kindenough.
I wasn't um, didn't have thattype of intuitive nature that
mothers often do.
So I felt, you know, kind ofdouble whammy of I'm not meant
to be a mom, and I just don'tthink it's for me because I'm
working on my career.
So, and through that, uh, I'vebeen married for almost 10
(04:45):
years.
Obviously, in us gettingmarried, we we talked about
children, and I just was like,yeah, yeah, you know, I I want
children, just assuming thateventually I'd be ready.
The years went by and I was notready, or I didn't feel that I
still didn't feel I was gonna bea good mother.
And with difficulties in mymarriage, because of that, I
(05:08):
started to pray just vehementlyto God, just please change my
heart on this topic.
You know, I I don't know how toget past this mindset.
I don't know how to change myfeelings about this.
So I was just praying over andover again for him to change my
heart.
And seemingly overnight, but itwasn't overnight, I'm sure.
I'm sure he was working on mefor years.
(05:29):
I really just decided from hisword, essentially, I want to be
a mom and I'm ready for this,and I'm I'm gonna give it my
all.
And when we started thatjourney, and I do want to share
with the listeners this, youknow, I'm kind of in the
beginning of my journey.
Um compared to a lot of womenI've talked to, we've been
trying to conceive for about ayear and a half or a little over
(05:52):
a year and a half.
So I know I've talked to manywomen out there that have been
trying for years and years.
So um, but however, whateverband you are in your journey,
wherever you are, it's yourfeelings are valid and and you
know, concerns with pregnancyloss and things.
So I just wanted to share my myexperience anyway.
But yeah, unfortunately, oncewe started trying, I I
(06:15):
experienced back-to-backpregnancy losses um and then
some fertility issues as well.
And we're still in thatjourney, we're still trying.
So it's a it's an open-endedquestion or an open-ended
journey at this time.
But through God's word and andprayer, my church family and my
family, um, I've just growncloser to God in this time.
Ellen Krause (06:37):
Mm-hmm.
Thank you so much for justbeing so vulnerable and sharing
that because it does just itgrips at your heart.
It grips at your heart becauseI was in the workforce for a
while too, and I know what it'slike to have your career going
and then deciding, you know, tomake that change.
(06:59):
And I'm sure there was a pointwhere you're actually excited
about it and then just and I Ican imagine um the heartache
that you must be feeling.
What what are somemisconceptions about infertility
or pregnancy loss that you wishyou had known at the beginning
of your journey?
Emily Jackson (07:20):
Yeah, one of the biggest things, I mean, I think
what once any of us are in thistrying to conceive journey, we
we very much hear from eitherdoctors or medical, um, you
know, medical articles andthings, or each other, that
pregnancy loss is common.
But one, I wish I would haveunderstood that the chemical
(07:41):
pregnancy thing is is a thing.
My both of my losses wereearlier on.
And I wish I would have one,understood what that was and
what to look out for there.
And two, I wish I would haveunderstood how difficult even
early losses would beemotionally.
You know, I always thought tomyself, oh, you know, if it was
(08:02):
further along, it would bereally, really hard.
But I, I mean, I was astonishedwith how difficult emotionally
it was to deal with just theearly pregnancy losses.
And and the interesting thingwas, is as I was talking to
women about this, they werelike, oh yeah, I've had I had
that experience too, or mysister did, or my mom did.
(08:22):
And so I realized just howprevalent it is.
And and it's one thing if adoctor's telling you how
prevalent it is, but when you'respeaking to other women in your
network and they're saying thatthey experienced it, that
really makes you feel seen, youknow.
And I wish I had gotten more ofthat maybe before that
happening, but um, but I'm gladI was able to share that with
(08:46):
people that I know and hopefullyif that were to be something
they experience in the futurethat they would feel seen and
but that they're not alone.
Ellen Krause (08:54):
Right, right.
I think if you can go into itwith an expectation that that's
a possibility, yeah.
Um and and to have open handswith God, it's just that that's
not really what anybody wants todo, right?
I mean, you just expect thateverything's gonna go normal and
(09:17):
fine.
And um, I love that you youbrought that to light, even to
someone who's listening todaythat maybe uh isn't aware that
that's relatively common.
Well, how has your faith helpedyou, Emily, process the grief
and the uncertainty that you'veexperienced during this time?
Emily Jackson (09:38):
Yeah, um, gosh, I don't know where I'd be without
my faith in in this time.
Um the, as you can imagine,very, very dark days with those
pregnancy losses and and notjust mentally, but as you all
know, hormonally, up and downand up and down.
And so I was experiencingemotions that I honestly have
(09:59):
never felt in my life.
Um, I'm a very happy-go-luckytype person, a very positive
person, and I was experiencingsome things that I mean I just
didn't even know I had in me.
And without the prayer andGod's word and finding comfort
in that, I don't think I wouldhave been able to keep pushing
(10:19):
through and also to continue tohave hope for my future.
And one verse I'll I'll sharethat's that's in my book that
really, really I think hones inon that is Philippians 4, 6
through 7.
And it says, Do not be anxiousabout anything, but in every
situation, by prayer andpetition with thanksgiving,
(10:40):
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, whichtranscends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and yourminds in Christ Jesus.
And when I read that, I just somuch peace just washed over me.
And and that's what I needed inthat time.
I needed my mind to be calm, Ineeded peace to, you know, maybe
(11:01):
I didn't understand it, but tocome to the realization that God
understands what's happeningand He understands what's in in
store for us in the future, andand it's not my job to
understand, and just coming tothat realization what was really
helped me to keep pushingforward.
Ellen Krause (11:20):
Absolutely.
Just casting all your anxietyon him, yeah, um, gives you that
peace that surpasses allunderstanding, and it's
something that we can't doourselves.
And I'm so glad that your faithhas helped guide you through
this process and is also helpingso many other people now
(11:44):
because out of the depths ofyour own despair, you created a
devotional called The Weight ofthe World to help others
strengthen their relationshipwith God in times of hardship
and loss.
Walk us through the differentparts of the devotional and what
people can learn from them.
Emily Jackson (12:05):
Yeah, so there's five different parts of the
devotional.
And what I wanted to include inhere is part of my personal
story.
So my journey with, you know,as we talked about kind of
figuring out that I wantedchildren or how I kind of
overcame that doubt there.
And so there's a doubt sectiontalking about that and talking
about how I was putting myselfbefore God and not listening to
(12:27):
God, how I overcame that throughhis word and through prayer.
And then the second part isloss, and so it's talking about
my two pregnancy losses and howI was seeking guidance and peace
and understanding from Godduring that time.
The the next section isstrength in God.
So as I was mentioning, it'sjust an emotional roller
(12:49):
coaster.
And and what you need is notjust peace, but also strength to
keep moving forward, strengthto encourage others, strength to
just continue to be strong inyour faith.
And and I found that through mychurch community, I found that
through prayer, I found thatthrough, of course, God's word.
And and it always amazes me,even to this day, that the Bible
(13:12):
is so relevant to what we'regoing through.
And if you just thumb throughthere to whatever ails you right
now, you will find somethingthat will help you be at peace
and not just peace, but let youknow what you can do to move
forward.
So that that's a section of it.
And the last two sections I'llkind of rope together because I
(13:32):
think they kind of go togetheris hope and moving forward.
So how through God's presencein my life I was able to find
hope in the future.
Again, you know, it's beyondour understanding.
He knows what my future is.
He has better plans for my lifethan I could ever imagine.
And coming to thatunderstanding has helped me move
(13:54):
forward and continue to sharemy story and continue in the
journey to conceive.
So in each of my sections,those five different ones, and
each day, I provide a little bitof a journal prompt as well,
just to you for you to writedown your feelings, as I found
that was very needed in myjourney.
Um my thoughts are all jumbledup here, so it's nice to write
(14:17):
it down on a piece of paper andmaybe just prayer concerns as
well in that journal entry.
But um, yeah, I just I hopethat you know, if if you read my
my book, it really guides youthrough some of the things that
you're you possibly could beexperiencing um during this this
time.
Ellen Krause (14:34):
Absolutely.
And you know what, Emily, it'syour personal touches of um
sharing your story at thebeginning of each of those days
of devotionals that I found sotouching and relatable so that
it will be an encouragementbecause you are someone who's
(14:55):
walked in those footsteps andthat can be an encouragement to
someone else.
You know, one thing that youmentioned that I just want to
add on to for our listeners isyou can't underestimate the
value of being in some type of awomen's small group uh or Bible
study group.
You know, I was in one for over20 years of a mom's group, and
(15:18):
I can't tell you how many times,like within those groups, God
put just the people that neededto be there.
And there would be one personwho was going through a
situation similar to what you'dbe going through, and then there
would be another mom who hadalready walked that journey and
was able to just you knowencourage, lift up, share, pray,
(15:42):
and it's just so incrediblyvaluable.
So um you have that part of it.
You know, you mentioned thatthe Bible is not void on this
topic, right?
We learn, we can learn from thewomen who waited, such as
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah,Elizabeth.
(16:03):
Have there been any particularstories of these women that have
given you comfort during harddays?
Emily Jackson (16:12):
Oh, you know, I mean, I think Sarah's is is one
that that absolutely, and I Idid mention her story in my
book, just the the time ofwaiting for her.
And and that's what this is.
This journey is this season ofwaiting, right?
And I I'll tell you, I'm not avery patient person.
So I it it's difficult for meto wait.
(16:32):
Um, but when you really rely onGod and listen to Him and know
that His timing is perfect, Histiming is divine, as we've all
heard.
Um, and even just one thing Iwould encourage the listeners to
do, if you find yourself inkind of a frustrating time of
waiting, look back on otherinstances in your life that
(16:53):
you've been in a time ofwaiting.
What came to fruition after youwaited?
Was it better than you couldhave imagined?
I bet it was, because I knowthat's happened in my life where
I thought I needed something tohappen right now.
And then maybe what I thoughtneeded to happen didn't happen,
but something better happened.
And that's because of God.
(17:13):
That's not just happenstance.
He knew that what was right foryou in your life, and um,
that's what's what's sowonderful about listening to him
and being guided by him inevery aspect.
Ellen Krause (17:28):
So true.
Malie, you've been on thisjourney now for you said over a
year and a half.
What what did you want women tofind in this devotional that
you felt was missing as youstarted this journey?
Emily Jackson (17:43):
I think just simply sharing our stories.
At first, I I felt so alone,and that was the biggest thing
that I had so much sadnessabout.
I just, you know, confused bymy emotions and things, and and
I wasn't sure who hadexperienced in my network the
same thing.
And so I think sharing ourstories is so valuable, um,
especially in you know yourChristian communities.
(18:05):
I mean, we're we're like-mindedwomen, and why not share?
Yes, it's a personal topic, butyou you can't imagine how much
you can help someone if you justshare that you've had this same
experience.
And then, you know, I woulddefinitely want, I've of course
mentioned the Bible many times,but just to um utilize the Bible
as not just something forcomfort, but something that you
(18:28):
can use to guide your feelingsand have understanding of your
feelings in this time.
I'm thinking of a Bible versenow, um, Genesis 50, 20, that I
have in my book.
Let me turn to it, that reallyjust brought it home for me.
It says, You intended to harmme, but God intended it for good
(18:49):
to accomplish what is now beingdone, the saving of many lives.
So by just sharing my story andyou sharing your story of this
type of experience, you could besaving lives.
You could be growingrelationships with God, you
could be bringing people to God,um, maybe people that have
never even opened the Bible,just because they've had this
(19:12):
shared experience with you, theymight say, Hey, maybe this is
where I should turn because Idon't know where else to turn.
And I think that's so special.
And it's just such a way thatwe can be a light for him, um,
which is is a really interestingthing for me because I've
honestly before this not beensomeone who is just, you know,
super, super open with sharingmy personal experiences.
(19:35):
Um but he really pushed me andjust let me know, hey Emily, you
need to share this.
So if you listen to him, he hewill guide you in in this path
and any other paths in yourlife.
Ellen Krause (19:48):
Yes, and I'm so glad that you you did follow the
promptings of the Holy Spiritto do that.
What advice would you give tosomeone who wants to support a
loved one who is going throughinfertility or loss?
Like, are there th things thatyou should say, things you
(20:09):
shouldn't say?
What would you suggest?
Emily Jackson (20:13):
Yeah, I mean, that's it's hard.
Um, I I definitely relied on myfamily quite a bit um, you
know, in this time.
I have two sisters and theywere always very supportive.
I think the biggest thing isnot necessarily giving your
opinions about the matter, um,but actively listening.
If if someone is willing toshare this journey with you,
(20:35):
this this not this difficulttime with you, just being
actively listening and justletting them know that you're
there.
And it's hard to know as as afamily member or a friend to
know what to say.
I mean, you know, in anybody'stime of loss, what do you really
say?
Um, but just letting them knowthat you're there anytime they
do want to talk, that you'reeven just thinking about them.
(20:57):
Um, you know, just my sisterwould message me at random
times, just, hey, I hope you'redoing okay today.
I'm just thinking about you orjust just praying about you.
And and that always means somuch because as I have said many
times, you just feel so alone.
But when people are reachingout and you're not even having
to reach out to them, um, thatmakes you feel like you've got a
(21:18):
support system.
So I think just support is thebiggest thing.
Ellen Krause (21:23):
Absolutely.
And when when you uh um canbring that forward in your own
vulnerability and share thistype of a burden with a trusted
sister in Christ, it just canlighten that load of silence,
loneliness, and all that you'rebearing.
(21:45):
How would you encourage womento keep their faith strong when
the answers or healing orwhatever it might be isn't
coming quickly?
Emily Jackson (22:00):
I would say continue to make your time with
God a habit.
Um, don't just, I mean, yes, ofcourse, in this time of needs,
you're going to be likelyturning to him, but keep it a
habit at all times to whereyou're having conversations with
him every day, you're prayingevery day, you're you're
consulting the Bible.
(22:21):
Don't just, oh, give it fiveminutes.
And I mean, of course,sometimes you may not have a lot
of time, but really dedicateyourself to not just dive into
the word, but really listen towhat he's saying to your heart
in this journey.
And and I know it's verydifficult, and and we've we've
said this on uh today is justgive it all up to God.
(22:41):
Um, that's that's what you youneed to be able to do in order
to continue to be um you knowstrong in your faith and
continue that your path withyour journey with God.
And um, it's hard to do whenyou're you have all these
stresses and worries.
And I know in this trying toconceive journey, I it's very
regimented and you're very muchon a schedule and you're
(23:03):
constantly thinking about it.
But every time that thosethoughts of, oh, will this month
be the month, or am I gonnahave another miscarriage this
month?
I would just take that time.
Okay, I see these thoughtscreeping in.
I'm gonna pray right now, orI'm gonna dive into God's word
right now.
Just even if it's in the middleof the day, just take that time
when those thoughts creep inand and give it all to God.
Ellen Krause (23:27):
Yes, really, just kind of come to Him with open
hands and recognize that God issovereign, He is in control, and
our identity and worth is inChrist and clinging to hope,
right?
Clinging to hope, right?
(23:48):
Well, Emily, tell us where ourlisteners can go to learn more
about you and your newdevotional book called The
Weight of the World.
Emily Jackson (23:58):
Yeah, so my book is now available on Amazon, so
you can find it there.
And if you just look up eithermy name, Emily Jackson
Devotional, or The Weight of theWorld, Emily Jackson, you'll be
able to find it there.
Um, if you don't want to searchon Amazon, you can also go to
my website.
That's a pluswomen.combackslash Emily Dash Jackson.
(24:20):
That website's on my LinkedInas well.
I'm very active on there, soyou could just find me on
LinkedIn.
Um, and my newsletter isanother one that you could find
more about my book on, but thatwould be the link to subscribe
on there, is on my LinkedIn.
So all of those differentavenues are a way that you can
explore my book.
Ellen Krause (24:41):
Fantastic.
Well, we will make sure weinclude all of those links in
our show notes.
Before I let you go, I have toask some of our favorite
questions here that we ask allour guests.
The first one is what Bible isyour go-to Bible and what
translation is it?
Emily Jackson (24:58):
Yeah, so I always do um NIV is my translation.
I've got two Bibles that I kindof go back and forth with.
The first one my mom gave mewhen I accepted Christ into my
life.
And so it's it's pink on theinside, but she also gave me
this like really beautifulcover.
Um, so that's kind of my everySunday I bring this.
(25:19):
But my my daily one is the NIVBible for women.
And so it's got some women'sexperiences throughout that just
resonate with differentexperiences that we all have.
Um, and so I really enjoyedthat one for kind of my study
Bible.
Ellen Krause (25:35):
All right, excellent.
Okay, next, do you have anyfavorite Bible journaling
supplies that you like to usesince you like to journal?
Emily Jackson (25:44):
Yes.
Um, so I like to go old schoolwith a pencil, so I really like
pencils, number two pencils tobe exact.
Um, but I also at times willuse, you know, colorful pens
because I also like the like thepink and the teal and that type
of thing.
Sticky tabs that are alsocolorful just to kind of mark,
you know, where my spot is orhey, I want to come back to
(26:06):
that.
Um, and then I often like tohave a very decorative journal
or notebook.
Um, honestly, I've got way toomany notebooks, but um I love I
love journaling, so I can't helpit.
Um, and I never throw mineaway.
I always keep them.
You never know if you want toreference them later on.
Ellen Krause (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Lastly, what is your favoriteapp or website for Bible study
tools?
Emily Jackson (26:31):
Yeah, I'm I'm pretty simple in that.
I like the Bible app that's onyour phone.
I use that.
I travel a lot for my job, soit's obviously very convenient
to have not just the Bible thereum on my phone, but also
different um Bible studies onthere.
And then I really, reallyprefer physical uh Bible
studies.
So I will very much often usephysical studies.
(26:52):
Up right now, I'm reading TheWomen of the Bible, which is
that year-long Bible study.
Ellen Krause (26:57):
So awesome.
Okay, well, we will find somelinks for all of those things
and put them in our show notesas well so we can have Emily's
favorites.
And Emily, thank you so muchfor your openness and sharing
both your heartbreak and thehope that we have that's been
(27:18):
woven into your story.
I know this is just such awonderful gift to the Coffee and
Bible time community.
Emily Jackson (27:24):
Well, thank you so much, Ellen, for having me.
It's been a pleasure speakingwith you.
And I hope that you know thelisteners are encouraged by my
story and and and just to knowthat you're never alone.
Whether an individual has hadthe same story as you, but you
know what, you've always gotGod.
He's always got your back, andhe's there no matter what trial
that you're experiencing.
Ellen Krause (27:45):
Absolutely.
And to our listeners, I justpray that today's conversation
has reminded you just what Emilysaid, that you're not alone,
whatever season you're in.
God is not distant from yourgrief or your waiting.
He is right there with you,inviting you to bring every
emotion, every question, andevery hope to him.
(28:08):
We'll see you next time on theCoffee and Bible Time podcast.
The Coffee of Bible Time podcast, our goal is
to help you delight in God'sWord and thrive in Christian
living.
Each week, we talk to subjectmatter experts who broaden your
biblical understanding,encourage you in hard times, and
provide life-building tips toenhance your Christian walk.
We are so glad you have joinedus.
(00:25):
Welcome back to the Coffee andBible Time podcast.
I'm Ellen, your host, and I'mso grateful that you have joined
us for today's conversation.
If you've ever walked through aseason of waiting, one filled
with longing, uncertainty, andperhaps even grief, today's
(00:47):
episode is for you.
My guest, Emily Jackson, knowswhat it's like to carry the ache
of unanswered prayers whilestill holding on to faith in a
God who sees, hears, and deeplycares.
Emily is a speaker, a careercoach, and a woman of faith who
has journeyed throughinfertility and pregnancy loss.
(01:11):
Above all, she is someone whohas chosen to meet the pain in
her life with honesty,scripture, and hope.
So whether you're navigating asimilar road, supporting a
friend through it, or simplywondering how to trust God in
the midst of unansweredquestions, I truly believe
(01:31):
Emily's words will minister toyour heart today.
So grab your coffee, open yourBible, and let's dive in.
Emily, welcome to the Coffeeand Bible Time podcast.
We're so honored to have youwith us.
Emily Jackson (01:46):
Thank you so much.
I'm so happy to be here.
It's just a blessing to be ableto speak with you and your
listeners today.
Ellen Krause (01:52):
Oh, very good.
Well, tell us a little bitabout yourself to any listeners
who don't know you yet.
Emily Jackson (02:00):
Yeah, so you know, I'm Emily Jackson.
I'm in the professional worldas a sales professional for an
RFID technology company.
Uh we won't dive into thattoday, but that's what I do
professionally.
Um, but yes, I am a careertransition coach and speaker as
well, and the a first-timeauthor, and that's a lot of what
we're talking about today.
(02:21):
I'm in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Um, if you do hear any type ofaccent from me, it's not a
Cincinnati accent.
I'm originally from Louisville,Kentucky.
So there is a little bit ofSouthern accent sometimes in
there.
So if you catch that.
Um I'm definitely catchingthat, but I'm in Chicago, so I
(02:41):
mean, every once in a while itkind of gets in there when I'm
passionate about something orwhen I'm angry about something.
So, you know, you never know.
Um, but yeah, and then a littlemore about me is I, you know, I
am a follower of Christ.
I accepted Christ into my lifeat 11 years old.
My twin sister and I did thattogether.
I haven't always been followingChrist as well as I should
(03:05):
have, and I think we all gothrough journeys of that, but
this experience with pregnancyloss and difficulty conceiving
brought me closer to God thanI've ever been.
And so uh I know that he'sdoing that on purpose.
Ellen Krause (03:20):
Absolutely.
Well, seeking the right timingto become a mother and fertility
challenges are both suchpersonal topics for women.
Would you be willing to shareyour journey of desiring
motherhood and just your storyaround infertility and loss?
Emily Jackson (03:42):
Yeah, you know, as I said, I I struggled in my
faith for a long time, and partof that was was selfishness,
honestly.
I and the reason that I sayselfishness is because I was
putting my career goals and justmy need to be independent in
front of God.
So I was, you know, worshipingthose things instead of God.
(04:03):
And because of those things, Ikind of was falling into that
worldly mindset of, oh, youknow, to be a strong woman,
you've got to be just careerpath ready.
That's all you're focused on.
I'm not gonna have time for afamily.
And then on the flip side ofthat, I I think that the devil
was kind of working in my lifethrough that, telling me that I
wasn't set up to be a mom.
(04:25):
Maybe I wasn't, you know, kindenough.
I wasn't um, didn't have thattype of intuitive nature that
mothers often do.
So I felt, you know, kind ofdouble whammy of I'm not meant
to be a mom, and I just don'tthink it's for me because I'm
working on my career.
So, and through that, uh, I'vebeen married for almost 10
(04:45):
years.
Obviously, in us gettingmarried, we we talked about
children, and I just was like,yeah, yeah, you know, I I want
children, just assuming thateventually I'd be ready.
The years went by and I was notready, or I didn't feel that I
still didn't feel I was gonna bea good mother.
And with difficulties in mymarriage, because of that, I
(05:08):
started to pray just vehementlyto God, just please change my
heart on this topic.
You know, I I don't know how toget past this mindset.
I don't know how to change myfeelings about this.
So I was just praying over andover again for him to change my
heart.
And seemingly overnight, but itwasn't overnight, I'm sure.
I'm sure he was working on mefor years.
(05:29):
I really just decided from hisword, essentially, I want to be
a mom and I'm ready for this,and I'm I'm gonna give it my
all.
And when we started thatjourney, and I do want to share
with the listeners this, youknow, I'm kind of in the
beginning of my journey.
Um compared to a lot of womenI've talked to, we've been
trying to conceive for about ayear and a half or a little over
(05:52):
a year and a half.
So I know I've talked to manywomen out there that have been
trying for years and years.
So um, but however, whateverband you are in your journey,
wherever you are, it's yourfeelings are valid and and you
know, concerns with pregnancyloss and things.
So I just wanted to share my myexperience anyway.
But yeah, unfortunately, oncewe started trying, I I
(06:15):
experienced back-to-backpregnancy losses um and then
some fertility issues as well.
And we're still in thatjourney, we're still trying.
So it's a it's an open-endedquestion or an open-ended
journey at this time.
But through God's word and andprayer, my church family and my
family, um, I've just growncloser to God in this time.
Ellen Krause (06:37):
Mm-hmm.
Thank you so much for justbeing so vulnerable and sharing
that because it does just itgrips at your heart.
It grips at your heart becauseI was in the workforce for a
while too, and I know what it'slike to have your career going
and then deciding, you know, tomake that change.
(06:59):
And I'm sure there was a pointwhere you're actually excited
about it and then just and I Ican imagine um the heartache
that you must be feeling.
What what are somemisconceptions about infertility
or pregnancy loss that you wishyou had known at the beginning
of your journey?
Emily Jackson (07:20):
Yeah, one of the biggest things, I mean, I think
what once any of us are in thistrying to conceive journey, we
we very much hear from eitherdoctors or medical, um, you
know, medical articles andthings, or each other, that
pregnancy loss is common.
But one, I wish I would haveunderstood that the chemical
(07:41):
pregnancy thing is is a thing.
My both of my losses wereearlier on.
And I wish I would have one,understood what that was and
what to look out for there.
And two, I wish I would haveunderstood how difficult even
early losses would beemotionally.
You know, I always thought tomyself, oh, you know, if it was
(08:02):
further along, it would bereally, really hard.
But I, I mean, I was astonishedwith how difficult emotionally
it was to deal with just theearly pregnancy losses.
And and the interesting thingwas, is as I was talking to
women about this, they werelike, oh yeah, I've had I had
that experience too, or mysister did, or my mom did.
(08:22):
And so I realized just howprevalent it is.
And and it's one thing if adoctor's telling you how
prevalent it is, but when you'respeaking to other women in your
network and they're saying thatthey experienced it, that
really makes you feel seen, youknow.
And I wish I had gotten more ofthat maybe before that
happening, but um, but I'm gladI was able to share that with
(08:46):
people that I know and hopefullyif that were to be something
they experience in the futurethat they would feel seen and
but that they're not alone.
Ellen Krause (08:54):
Right, right.
I think if you can go into itwith an expectation that that's
a possibility, yeah.
Um and and to have open handswith God, it's just that that's
not really what anybody wants todo, right?
I mean, you just expect thateverything's gonna go normal and
(09:17):
fine.
And um, I love that you youbrought that to light, even to
someone who's listening todaythat maybe uh isn't aware that
that's relatively common.
Well, how has your faith helpedyou, Emily, process the grief
and the uncertainty that you'veexperienced during this time?
Emily Jackson (09:38):
Yeah, um, gosh, I don't know where I'd be without
my faith in in this time.
Um the, as you can imagine,very, very dark days with those
pregnancy losses and and notjust mentally, but as you all
know, hormonally, up and downand up and down.
And so I was experiencingemotions that I honestly have
(09:59):
never felt in my life.
Um, I'm a very happy-go-luckytype person, a very positive
person, and I was experiencingsome things that I mean I just
didn't even know I had in me.
And without the prayer andGod's word and finding comfort
in that, I don't think I wouldhave been able to keep pushing
(10:19):
through and also to continue tohave hope for my future.
And one verse I'll I'll sharethat's that's in my book that
really, really I think hones inon that is Philippians 4, 6
through 7.
And it says, Do not be anxiousabout anything, but in every
situation, by prayer andpetition with thanksgiving,
(10:40):
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, whichtranscends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and yourminds in Christ Jesus.
And when I read that, I just somuch peace just washed over me.
And and that's what I needed inthat time.
I needed my mind to be calm, Ineeded peace to, you know, maybe
(11:01):
I didn't understand it, but tocome to the realization that God
understands what's happeningand He understands what's in in
store for us in the future, andand it's not my job to
understand, and just coming tothat realization what was really
helped me to keep pushingforward.
Ellen Krause (11:20):
Absolutely.
Just casting all your anxietyon him, yeah, um, gives you that
peace that surpasses allunderstanding, and it's
something that we can't doourselves.
And I'm so glad that your faithhas helped guide you through
this process and is also helpingso many other people now
(11:44):
because out of the depths ofyour own despair, you created a
devotional called The Weight ofthe World to help others
strengthen their relationshipwith God in times of hardship
and loss.
Walk us through the differentparts of the devotional and what
people can learn from them.
Emily Jackson (12:05):
Yeah, so there's five different parts of the
devotional.
And what I wanted to include inhere is part of my personal
story.
So my journey with, you know,as we talked about kind of
figuring out that I wantedchildren or how I kind of
overcame that doubt there.
And so there's a doubt sectiontalking about that and talking
about how I was putting myselfbefore God and not listening to
(12:27):
God, how I overcame that throughhis word and through prayer.
And then the second part isloss, and so it's talking about
my two pregnancy losses and howI was seeking guidance and peace
and understanding from Godduring that time.
The the next section isstrength in God.
So as I was mentioning, it'sjust an emotional roller
(12:49):
coaster.
And and what you need is notjust peace, but also strength to
keep moving forward, strengthto encourage others, strength to
just continue to be strong inyour faith.
And and I found that through mychurch community, I found that
through prayer, I found thatthrough, of course, God's word.
And and it always amazes me,even to this day, that the Bible
(13:12):
is so relevant to what we'regoing through.
And if you just thumb throughthere to whatever ails you right
now, you will find somethingthat will help you be at peace
and not just peace, but let youknow what you can do to move
forward.
So that that's a section of it.
And the last two sections I'llkind of rope together because I
(13:32):
think they kind of go togetheris hope and moving forward.
So how through God's presencein my life I was able to find
hope in the future.
Again, you know, it's beyondour understanding.
He knows what my future is.
He has better plans for my lifethan I could ever imagine.
And coming to thatunderstanding has helped me move
(13:54):
forward and continue to sharemy story and continue in the
journey to conceive.
So in each of my sections,those five different ones, and
each day, I provide a little bitof a journal prompt as well,
just to you for you to writedown your feelings, as I found
that was very needed in myjourney.
Um my thoughts are all jumbledup here, so it's nice to write
(14:17):
it down on a piece of paper andmaybe just prayer concerns as
well in that journal entry.
But um, yeah, I just I hopethat you know, if if you read my
my book, it really guides youthrough some of the things that
you're you possibly could beexperiencing um during this this
time.
Ellen Krause (14:34):
Absolutely.
And you know what, Emily, it'syour personal touches of um
sharing your story at thebeginning of each of those days
of devotionals that I found sotouching and relatable so that
it will be an encouragementbecause you are someone who's
(14:55):
walked in those footsteps andthat can be an encouragement to
someone else.
You know, one thing that youmentioned that I just want to
add on to for our listeners isyou can't underestimate the
value of being in some type of awomen's small group uh or Bible
study group.
You know, I was in one for over20 years of a mom's group, and
(15:18):
I can't tell you how many times,like within those groups, God
put just the people that neededto be there.
And there would be one personwho was going through a
situation similar to what you'dbe going through, and then there
would be another mom who hadalready walked that journey and
was able to just you knowencourage, lift up, share, pray,
(15:42):
and it's just so incrediblyvaluable.
So um you have that part of it.
You know, you mentioned thatthe Bible is not void on this
topic, right?
We learn, we can learn from thewomen who waited, such as
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah,Elizabeth.
(16:03):
Have there been any particularstories of these women that have
given you comfort during harddays?
Emily Jackson (16:12):
Oh, you know, I mean, I think Sarah's is is one
that that absolutely, and I Idid mention her story in my
book, just the the time ofwaiting for her.
And and that's what this is.
This journey is this season ofwaiting, right?
And I I'll tell you, I'm not avery patient person.
So I it it's difficult for meto wait.
(16:32):
Um, but when you really rely onGod and listen to Him and know
that His timing is perfect, Histiming is divine, as we've all
heard.
Um, and even just one thing Iwould encourage the listeners to
do, if you find yourself inkind of a frustrating time of
waiting, look back on otherinstances in your life that
(16:53):
you've been in a time ofwaiting.
What came to fruition after youwaited?
Was it better than you couldhave imagined?
I bet it was, because I knowthat's happened in my life where
I thought I needed something tohappen right now.
And then maybe what I thoughtneeded to happen didn't happen,
but something better happened.
And that's because of God.
(17:13):
That's not just happenstance.
He knew that what was right foryou in your life, and um,
that's what's what's sowonderful about listening to him
and being guided by him inevery aspect.
Ellen Krause (17:28):
So true.
Malie, you've been on thisjourney now for you said over a
year and a half.
What what did you want women tofind in this devotional that
you felt was missing as youstarted this journey?
Emily Jackson (17:43):
I think just simply sharing our stories.
At first, I I felt so alone,and that was the biggest thing
that I had so much sadnessabout.
I just, you know, confused bymy emotions and things, and and
I wasn't sure who hadexperienced in my network the
same thing.
And so I think sharing ourstories is so valuable, um,
especially in you know yourChristian communities.
(18:05):
I mean, we're we're like-mindedwomen, and why not share?
Yes, it's a personal topic, butyou you can't imagine how much
you can help someone if you justshare that you've had this same
experience.
And then, you know, I woulddefinitely want, I've of course
mentioned the Bible many times,but just to um utilize the Bible
as not just something forcomfort, but something that you
(18:28):
can use to guide your feelingsand have understanding of your
feelings in this time.
I'm thinking of a Bible versenow, um, Genesis 50, 20, that I
have in my book.
Let me turn to it, that reallyjust brought it home for me.
It says, You intended to harmme, but God intended it for good
(18:49):
to accomplish what is now beingdone, the saving of many lives.
So by just sharing my story andyou sharing your story of this
type of experience, you could besaving lives.
You could be growingrelationships with God, you
could be bringing people to God,um, maybe people that have
never even opened the Bible,just because they've had this
(19:12):
shared experience with you, theymight say, Hey, maybe this is
where I should turn because Idon't know where else to turn.
And I think that's so special.
And it's just such a way thatwe can be a light for him, um,
which is is a really interestingthing for me because I've
honestly before this not beensomeone who is just, you know,
super, super open with sharingmy personal experiences.
(19:35):
Um but he really pushed me andjust let me know, hey Emily, you
need to share this.
So if you listen to him, he hewill guide you in in this path
and any other paths in yourlife.
Ellen Krause (19:48):
Yes, and I'm so glad that you you did follow the
promptings of the Holy Spiritto do that.
What advice would you give tosomeone who wants to support a
loved one who is going throughinfertility or loss?
Like, are there th things thatyou should say, things you
(20:09):
shouldn't say?
What would you suggest?
Emily Jackson (20:13):
Yeah, I mean, that's it's hard.
Um, I I definitely relied on myfamily quite a bit um, you
know, in this time.
I have two sisters and theywere always very supportive.
I think the biggest thing isnot necessarily giving your
opinions about the matter, um,but actively listening.
If if someone is willing toshare this journey with you,
(20:35):
this this not this difficulttime with you, just being
actively listening and justletting them know that you're
there.
And it's hard to know as as afamily member or a friend to
know what to say.
I mean, you know, in anybody'stime of loss, what do you really
say?
Um, but just letting them knowthat you're there anytime they
do want to talk, that you'reeven just thinking about them.
(20:57):
Um, you know, just my sisterwould message me at random
times, just, hey, I hope you'redoing okay today.
I'm just thinking about you orjust just praying about you.
And and that always means somuch because as I have said many
times, you just feel so alone.
But when people are reachingout and you're not even having
to reach out to them, um, thatmakes you feel like you've got a
(21:18):
support system.
So I think just support is thebiggest thing.
Ellen Krause (21:23):
Absolutely.
And when when you uh um canbring that forward in your own
vulnerability and share thistype of a burden with a trusted
sister in Christ, it just canlighten that load of silence,
loneliness, and all that you'rebearing.
(21:45):
How would you encourage womento keep their faith strong when
the answers or healing orwhatever it might be isn't
coming quickly?
Emily Jackson (22:00):
I would say continue to make your time with
God a habit.
Um, don't just, I mean, yes, ofcourse, in this time of needs,
you're going to be likelyturning to him, but keep it a
habit at all times to whereyou're having conversations with
him every day, you're prayingevery day, you're you're
consulting the Bible.
(22:21):
Don't just, oh, give it fiveminutes.
And I mean, of course,sometimes you may not have a lot
of time, but really dedicateyourself to not just dive into
the word, but really listen towhat he's saying to your heart
in this journey.
And and I know it's verydifficult, and and we've we've
said this on uh today is justgive it all up to God.
(22:41):
Um, that's that's what you youneed to be able to do in order
to continue to be um you knowstrong in your faith and
continue that your path withyour journey with God.
And um, it's hard to do whenyou're you have all these
stresses and worries.
And I know in this trying toconceive journey, I it's very
regimented and you're very muchon a schedule and you're
(23:03):
constantly thinking about it.
But every time that thosethoughts of, oh, will this month
be the month, or am I gonnahave another miscarriage this
month?
I would just take that time.
Okay, I see these thoughtscreeping in.
I'm gonna pray right now, orI'm gonna dive into God's word
right now.
Just even if it's in the middleof the day, just take that time
when those thoughts creep inand and give it all to God.
Ellen Krause (23:27):
Yes, really, just kind of come to Him with open
hands and recognize that God issovereign, He is in control, and
our identity and worth is inChrist and clinging to hope,
right?
Clinging to hope, right?
(23:48):
Well, Emily, tell us where ourlisteners can go to learn more
about you and your newdevotional book called The
Weight of the World.
Emily Jackson (23:58):
Yeah, so my book is now available on Amazon, so
you can find it there.
And if you just look up eithermy name, Emily Jackson
Devotional, or The Weight of theWorld, Emily Jackson, you'll be
able to find it there.
Um, if you don't want to searchon Amazon, you can also go to
my website.
That's a pluswomen.combackslash Emily Dash Jackson.
(24:20):
That website's on my LinkedInas well.
I'm very active on there, soyou could just find me on
LinkedIn.
Um, and my newsletter isanother one that you could find
more about my book on, but thatwould be the link to subscribe
on there, is on my LinkedIn.
So all of those differentavenues are a way that you can
explore my book.
Ellen Krause (24:41):
Fantastic.
Well, we will make sure weinclude all of those links in
our show notes.
Before I let you go, I have toask some of our favorite
questions here that we ask allour guests.
The first one is what Bible isyour go-to Bible and what
translation is it?
Emily Jackson (24:58):
Yeah, so I always do um NIV is my translation.
I've got two Bibles that I kindof go back and forth with.
The first one my mom gave mewhen I accepted Christ into my
life.
And so it's it's pink on theinside, but she also gave me
this like really beautifulcover.
Um, so that's kind of my everySunday I bring this.
(25:19):
But my my daily one is the NIVBible for women.
And so it's got some women'sexperiences throughout that just
resonate with differentexperiences that we all have.
Um, and so I really enjoyedthat one for kind of my study
Bible.
Ellen Krause (25:35):
All right, excellent.
Okay, next, do you have anyfavorite Bible journaling
supplies that you like to usesince you like to journal?
Emily Jackson (25:44):
Yes.
Um, so I like to go old schoolwith a pencil, so I really like
pencils, number two pencils tobe exact.
Um, but I also at times willuse, you know, colorful pens
because I also like the like thepink and the teal and that type
of thing.
Sticky tabs that are alsocolorful just to kind of mark,
you know, where my spot is orhey, I want to come back to
(26:06):
that.
Um, and then I often like tohave a very decorative journal
or notebook.
Um, honestly, I've got way toomany notebooks, but um I love I
love journaling, so I can't helpit.
Um, and I never throw mineaway.
I always keep them.
You never know if you want toreference them later on.
Ellen Krause (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Lastly, what is your favoriteapp or website for Bible study
tools?
Emily Jackson (26:31):
Yeah, I'm I'm pretty simple in that.
I like the Bible app that's onyour phone.
I use that.
I travel a lot for my job, soit's obviously very convenient
to have not just the Bible thereum on my phone, but also
different um Bible studies onthere.
And then I really, reallyprefer physical uh Bible
studies.
So I will very much often usephysical studies.
(26:52):
Up right now, I'm reading TheWomen of the Bible, which is
that year-long Bible study.
Ellen Krause (26:57):
So awesome.
Okay, well, we will find somelinks for all of those things
and put them in our show notesas well so we can have Emily's
favorites.
And Emily, thank you so muchfor your openness and sharing
both your heartbreak and thehope that we have that's been
(27:18):
woven into your story.
I know this is just such awonderful gift to the Coffee and
Bible time community.
Emily Jackson (27:24):
Well, thank you so much, Ellen, for having me.
It's been a pleasure speakingwith you.
And I hope that you know thelisteners are encouraged by my
story and and and just to knowthat you're never alone.
Whether an individual has hadthe same story as you, but you
know what, you've always gotGod.
He's always got your back, andhe's there no matter what trial
that you're experiencing.
Ellen Krause (27:45):
Absolutely.
And to our listeners, I justpray that today's conversation
has reminded you just what Emilysaid, that you're not alone,
whatever season you're in.
God is not distant from yourgrief or your waiting.
He is right there with you,inviting you to bring every
emotion, every question, andevery hope to him.
(28:08):
We'll see you next time on theCoffee and Bible Time podcast.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.