May 2, 2023 • 22 mins
Do you ever feel like you're weighed down by negative thoughts about yourself and your potential. As women, it's common to face challenges that can make it difficult to achieve our goals. Some of those thoughts are buried so deep we may not even recognize them as having a hold on us. We're talking about it on this episode of Coffee Chat with Amber & Lisa.
Thank you for taking the time to like, subscribe, share, and comment. Visit leadingladies.life to find out more. Also, follow @leadingladieslife on social. Amber & Lisa are authors of the multi-award-winning book, Leading Ladies: Discover Your God-Grown Strategy for Success, which dives into the power of community and empowering women of faith to rise up and make a difference, using our gifts and faith to shine brightly in the world. Watch the Facebook Live edition on our YouTube Channel @coffeechatladies .
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
Would you be surprised to knowthat some of the most successful
women of our time facechallenges just like you and I
do. Hi, I'm Amber. And I'm Lisa,we're authors of the book
leading ladies, discover yourgod brown strategy for success.
We invite you to join us in anhonest, messy bun conversation
(00:30):
about the things we'd ratherkeep hidden in our lives. Some
of those things can keep us frommoving forward in purpose. So
grab a cup of somethingdelicious, kick off your shoes
and hang out with us for thenext 30 minutes.
We are excited to talk aboutthis topic. I know that it's
(00:52):
close to both of our hearts. AndI know that probably it's
something that you may notconsider, but it's something
that really impacts our purposeand potential is what lies are
you believing?
Lisa keeps trying to tell me thelie that I'm believing is
(01:12):
Starbucks is good coffee.
Not good. But if you needcoffee, and there's like no
place else, like an actual Momand Pop coffee shop, or even a
caribou. Thank you. Starbucks isnecessary. Yes. Epic's isn't
necessary. I guess even though Ihaven't found the same coffee.
(01:36):
But it's one thing to believethose lies about the things
outside of ourselves. And it'squite another when you start
internalizing lies. And we'retalking Lisa and I were talking
about this actually, justbefore, we've actually been
talking quite quite a bit aboutsome of the lies that we
believed about ourselves. And,and Lisa was sharing her story
(02:01):
about growing up and havingproblems with something, I would
say probably the worst fear ofany writer would be math and
really struggling with that.
It's funny, I think maybe acouple of things happen for me
early on, I had a lot ofsickness. When I was a kid, I
(02:23):
had horrible allergies, bothfood allergies, medication,
allergies, everything out in theair outside allergies. Sounds
like I have allergies. Today, Ihave a cold, so I apologize. But
I remember being very, verysick. And to be totally honest,
I missed a lot of vital mathinstruction. When I was like in
(02:45):
the fifth grade, the sixthgrade, where you first start to
delve into doing fractions,you're adding them, you're
subtracting them, you'remultiplying them, you're
dividing them. And then just addto that that whole beginning
process of working with algebra.
I missed so much school. And Iremember just being you know how
(03:07):
teachers, I'm sure they still dothis, but it's horrible, would
make you stand around the room,you would stand up next to your
classmates at the chalkboard,and she would give you a
problem, you would write itdown, and you had to see who
could finish it the quickest.
That was terrifying. I was soscared because I knew how bad I
was. Well, through the years, Ijust gradually started to feel
you know what, Lisa? Math justisn't your thing. You're not
(03:32):
very smart. And it progressed tothat point to I really believed.
I just didn't have theintelligence for math. Now.
There were other things I wasgood at. Things like music, and
I loved history. I lovedbiology. But when it came to
mathematics or even Hello,grammar.
(03:55):
I didn't know how to diagram asentence. To this day, I get
really stressed out when peoplestart throwing words at me like
adverbs pronouns. Yeah. And Ijust wrote a book. That's how I
feel. Yes, it was it was scary.
But I literally took this thingthat happened to me when I was a
kid. I don't believe I ever hada teacher say I was not smart. I
(04:16):
think they knew I was capable ofmore, but I don't think they
recognize the big roadblock Ihad that I honestly believed a
lie about myself. And I wasintrinsically terrified of
having to face that. I wasterrified, and my grades proved
(04:36):
it. Then you start to believewell, as you get older, you're
creative and you know, peoplewho are creative, they're just
not good at math and yeah,diagramming sentences. They're
good at all the first stop,yeah, our class poetry. And,
yeah, it's okay to be I mean,it's okay to be smart in
(04:56):
different ways.
We can't be smart, all knowingand all beautiful. God created
us uniquely. And just becauseyou don't excel in one area,
that doesn't mean you buy intothe lie that you're somehow less
than others who might have thisability. And yet, I'm sure I'm
(05:20):
not the only person that'sbought into that lie that there
weren't enough. I encouragelike, even if you're watching
this now, what lies have youbought into about yourself, your
talents, your abilities, maybesomething about your purpose
that you've bought into thatkind of is holding you back? I
(05:42):
think the lies we believe arelimitations on us moving forward
the lies we believe aboutourselves. In fact, those are
probably the most inhibitivebecause we can have everybody
cheering us on around us. Right,Lisa? Right. You can we are we
are limited by our own thinkingand who God created us and
(06:07):
purpose just to be he does notgive us anything that he does
not equip us for because hesteps into that. Right. And
that's a topic right now foryou. And I because this whole
book is based upon that rightthere. In a nutshell. I just
want to take a minute before wego any further. For those of you
(06:28):
that are joining us whether youare right here watching us with
our live this morning, orwhether you are tuning in later,
why don't you just drop down inthe comments? What are some lies
that you believe about yourself?
Or what are some lies that youfeel women tell themselves? You
know, what is the lies that youfeel like we sometimes take on?
(06:48):
Or you seen people take on thathave honestly kept them stuck?
Let us drop that in thecomments. Make sure you enter
into the conversation with us.
We would love that. But yes, sowe had this situation. Amber,
what's a lie that you feelyou've believed about yourself?
(07:09):
I recognize my husband says thisis the one thing that comes out
of my mouth most often is I feellike I'm failing. And the only
reason I recognize that lie thatI was believing is because it
kept coming out of my mouth. AndI didn't recognize it that it
was coming out my mouth. And hesays, Well, why do you feel that
(07:30):
you're failing? He's like,you're doing this, you're you're
helping all these women. You'redoing these beautiful book
covers, you're doing thismagazine? Why do you feel like
you fail? And I said, Well, myhouse is a mess. I'm always
picking up but people late fromschool. And for some reason, I
take that. And I kind of muddyeverything good, right? Because
(07:58):
I think in verbalizing that I'mfeeling like I'm failing is kind
of muddying the good that Icould possibly see in the things
that I do well, and that's notthat's not a place that we
should be. Because it's anamazing thing that when we muddy
everything that good in our lifeover this one piece like math or
(08:22):
not feeling smart. It just putsthat I don't know, is it the
cloud of negativity over ourlives? I
ultimately, these lies ournegative thoughts that we've
come to believe about ourselves,whether it's something that
intrinsically happened, like Isaid, I don't believe my parents
(08:42):
or teachers ever said, you know,you're really stupid. Now, I
know, people that were told thatby teachers, they were told they
were never amount to anything.
They weren't smart enough. Andthat plagued them for all their
years. But I don't think theymay did that to me. Okay, so
it's a situation like that. Butwhat about things you were told
by maybe people in your lifethat had influence that were
(09:04):
harmful, that did skew the wayyou thought about yourself?
There are all sorts of ways thatthe lies get in us. I mean, we
are people of faith. We believethat there is ultimately an evil
there is an influence that wantsus to believe the worst about
ourselves, about the God weserve, about what we're here in
(09:25):
this place to do in serving andloving others. We live in a
society right now, where allthat we do is the body of Christ
is held under a microscope as itshould be. I want you to know I
feel very strongly but at thesame time, so much is distorted
(09:46):
by those negative thoughts, andeven our thoughts that I'm here
doing something it's not as goodas this person.
All right, I shouldn't do thatbecause I can never be this
person. Well, the truth is, youcan never be that person. But if
(10:09):
we just if we constantly refuseto do something, because
someone's doing it perceivablybetter. And we start believing
that about ourselves than wekind of negate what God has
called us to do, as uniqueindividuals as children. You
know, it talks about Satan isthe father of lies, right? He is
(10:32):
the father of lies. So whateverlies you're believing about
yourself. It's crazy. BecauseSatan, he doesn't know our
thoughts. But he can plant wordI'm sure he celebrates every
time I say or verbalize, I feellike I'm failing. I think the
enemy of our soul takes cuesfrom us, and from others close
(10:55):
to us. I think Andrew gets hismaterial ultimate. Well, you
know, there's no new thingsunder the sun. But we are in
this to win this. Got it set usup for victory. We know the
victory has been bought, it's inplay. We don't go into the game
much like the Chiefs did. I'msure they didn't go into the
(11:15):
game thinking we're losers,we're going to lose the thing,
that there is something to besaid about positive thought. And
it's not just a new age thing, Ido believe something that is
deep for us as Christians, weget our positive thought, or we
get our fixing of the lies.
Intrinsically, I believe fromseveral sources, the biggest one
(11:38):
for most of us as believers isthe word of God, hopefully, we
have a circle around us peoplethat we can lean into that love
us that want the best for us,that encourage us that when
we're down on our last negativethought, they drag us back up
the mountain top so that we cansee where we're really supposed
(12:01):
to be standing and that God hasus. And he is going to utilize
this where we are. I feel likethere are many ways that God can
help us fix that in our mind.
But we have to identify there'sa problem. Exactly. And I know
that I continually have to goback to Scripture. I know a lot
(12:24):
of you know that I do have abipolar diagnosis. And that is a
struggle, because I know mybrain does not tell me or give
me the signals that chemically Ifight some negativity, I fight
some of those thoughts. And thenI have to remind myself and take
captive my chemicals. Yes. Okay,I have to identify where is this
(12:49):
coming from? Exactly. I have notgotten enough sleep. Have I not
gotten enough water? Have I notyou know, experienced enough
sunshine or, you know, have Inot taken my medication today,
as well as the other stressorsor the unpacked baggage that I
might have in my Set your mindand keep it set. But also,
firstly, you have to have astrong foundation, you'd have to
(13:11):
know what Scripture says. It'salmost like the Bible is God
therapy in the moment because Icontinually, okay, I feel this
way. So what am I going to coverwith? What am I going to
recapture? What am I going tohold on to, to reset? Because
it's constant for me, I can'tjust get up in the morning and
(13:33):
say, I'm gonna set my mind onthe things that God because by
the time I get, you know, twokids out the door, and like 10
spend, I'm really not feelingthe setting of my mind.
In in those things, because Ifeel weary, I feel worn out. I
feel mentally, I've been pulleda few different ways. So how do
(13:55):
I reset my mind to believe thetruth that God has given me
purpose in my days and this day?
Exactly. Right now, I feel likesome of that, like I said, we
can talk about a lot of things.
There are some really deep liesthat people believe about
themselves. And maybe like Isaid earlier, they've had
(14:16):
someone who has really spokenhorrific things over them and to
them, and they've grown up alltheir life having to live with
the weight of that. I do believethat counseling wise, good
Christian counsel. I feel likethat is something that we need
to embrace. And we also need tosurround ourselves with a circle
(14:40):
of people that can speak life tous. We also need to just take
God's word. And I just want tokind of talk to you about some
of these scriptures these lives.
Perhaps for instance, what ifyou say this is just impossible?
There's no way I can do this.
Scripture tells us in Luke 1827,that with God all things are
possible, right? Or what about?
I'm not smart enough to do this.
(15:04):
First Corinthians 130 says thatGod will give me wisdom. He can
give me wisdom. What about thissituation is just too hard. I
can't keep doing this. I can'tdo hard things. The word says
God promises His grace issufficient, it's enough for us
His grace will come in and equipus to be able to move forward in
(15:25):
a situation that stifles usbecause of our fear that it is
too hard. And we're not enoughto take care of it. What about
I'm just too scared. I'm tooscared to do this. God has not
given us a spirit of fear, butof power and love and a sound
mind Second Timothy one. Sobasically, the word of God can
come in and help change thedirection of those thoughts.
(15:50):
Just as for Amber, I'm surethere have been some ways that
you've gone in and found somequick ways that can help you
with that mindset about notbeing a good homemaker, what are
some of the things that you'vebeen able to do to make you feel
a little more accomplished? Ithink some of the things that I
have done to make my self feel alittle bit more accomplished is
(16:12):
I've actually started, okay, Idon't care how tired I am at
night, I will have an idea ofwhat I'm going to make for
dinner. It may be a dinner in abox, it may be you know what,
God is not asking me to be JuneCleaver, he's asking me to be
(16:32):
amburg, right, he's asking me tobe me, I don't have to carry the
weight of everybody else's,everybody else's stuff. And
also, I had to ask myself,what's more important in life,
having time with my family, ormaking sure all the beds are
made, and the dust is off thefloor. I mean, that's natural.
(16:54):
So I can't judge myself hard,based on what I feel that
somehow I should be. Because I'mnot that person. God didn't
create me to be that person. Youknow, I have an Insta pot now,
which helps I have an air fryernow that helps Jesus for such
(17:15):
the gift of air fresheners andright, they no shame in the
Instant Pot game. And I think asmy kids grew, somehow, I thought
it was still my responsibilityto cook for them. And it's not
really my responsibility to cookfor them. When they're in high
school and older, not even whenthey're in middle school and
(17:36):
older all the time. One of thethings that I've learned is, the
best thing you can do for yourchild is help them survive
without you. So you know what,you're hungry, you need to
figure out how everything works.
And I'll show you where it is.
And I'll make sure there's foodin the house. But at the end of
the day, you miss a meal, you'rea grown person.
(18:00):
Exactly that it does that doeskind of change as as they get
older, they're not so dependentupon you for that. I know for
me, I know, it's a funny way toget back to the whole story
about the math and thehumiliating. chalkboard, math
problem races, but um, for me,my husband for years would say
to me when I would when I wouldsay you know, I'm just not
(18:22):
smart, I can't math here, Iwould send the child to him
here. You go to your dad, yourdad's really smart in this way.
I'm not.
And my husband would say to meafterwards, you know, at least
this is not true. It's not trueabout yourself. Bottom line,
you've survived just well, youcan take care of books. And you
(18:44):
can make sure that you have theright total. And you know how to
take those fractions when you'recooking and double and triple
and quadruple. And how did youdo that? Well, I don't really
know how I do it. I don't do itthe way they taught. But you did
it and you do it well. And thenjust to bring it forward, I
substitute teach, I really loveto do it. I don't have as much
(19:06):
time to do it now as I used to.
But just last week, I was in aschool for a day. And a couple
of the classes that I did wherethose classes where, you know,
maybe there are fewer students,because they're having some
challenges on some particularareas. But these classes, and I
remember a middle school class Acouple years ago to where I'm in
the class, and I'm teaching thevery thing that I have struggled
(19:30):
with, right? The funny part isjust recognizing I can listen to
the video, read the lesson plan.
And I understand it now becauseI'm seeing that through a
different. I'm going wait aminute, I can do this. I can do
this. I think encouraging as weclose out our time together. As
(19:52):
I said before, write some thingsdown, write some things that you
might be believing down, whetherit's in the comments
Sit on a sheet of paper. Andreally think about those things
as you move through your day andwrite some scripture down, write
some scripture underneath itthat contradicts those very
(20:12):
things that are in our mind, wecannot trust our mind all the
time, we trust the creator ofour mind to set a threat. And we
need to know and we need to bein tuned with that. So
constantly keeping that messagein front of us, we need that.
And we need to be resettingdaily, because there is no way
(20:36):
that we can constantly switch itback one time, and it will
continue to creep back. So weneed to just really mindfully
think about what we're thinkingabout what we're believing, and
re anchor that to what God says,if we can get rid of some of
that clutter. Mind. I'm not goodat this, or I'm not this, I'm
(20:58):
not designed for this, or Iwould fail doing this bottom
line. We put limitations onourselves aid without even
realizing it on the one thatmade us Yeah, yes, I do
understand it's important toknow yourself, know yourself
well enough to know what you canand cannot do. And yes, that is
(21:18):
important. But it's alsoimportant to know what God says
about us and to not put anythingin the way that can limit what
he wants to do with us. Yeah,exactly. And I always say if I'm
trying to do something that Ifeel that I'm struggling with
more than someone else I say,that is beyond my anointing
(21:40):
beyond my energy, but you knowwhat, I have some friends that
might be able to help us I havesome friends. That's what God
gives us friends. That's whythe body of Christ ya know, he
gives us there's truly strengthin numbers and we link arms with
one another, which is anotherthing that we really are about,
especially with our sisters, thefemales in our life, our women
(22:01):
folk. We are not here to outdoanybody. We're here to link arms
and to put more strength in ournumbers, right? You have gifts
and assets that I do not hold,and it makes me stronger to
stand next to you. Right. Yeah,right.
Would you be surprised to knowthat some of the most successful
women of our time facechallenges just like you and I
do. Hi, I'm Amber. And I'm Lisa,we're authors of the book
leading ladies, discover yourgod brown strategy for success.
We invite you to join us in anhonest, messy bun conversation
(00:30):
about the things we'd ratherkeep hidden in our lives. Some
of those things can keep us frommoving forward in purpose. So
grab a cup of somethingdelicious, kick off your shoes
and hang out with us for thenext 30 minutes.
We are excited to talk aboutthis topic. I know that it's
(00:52):
close to both of our hearts. AndI know that probably it's
something that you may notconsider, but it's something
that really impacts our purposeand potential is what lies are
you believing?
Lisa keeps trying to tell me thelie that I'm believing is
(01:12):
Starbucks is good coffee.
Not good. But if you needcoffee, and there's like no
place else, like an actual Momand Pop coffee shop, or even a
caribou. Thank you. Starbucks isnecessary. Yes. Epic's isn't
necessary. I guess even though Ihaven't found the same coffee.
(01:36):
But it's one thing to believethose lies about the things
outside of ourselves. And it'squite another when you start
internalizing lies. And we'retalking Lisa and I were talking
about this actually, justbefore, we've actually been
talking quite quite a bit aboutsome of the lies that we
believed about ourselves. And,and Lisa was sharing her story
(02:01):
about growing up and havingproblems with something, I would
say probably the worst fear ofany writer would be math and
really struggling with that.
It's funny, I think maybe acouple of things happen for me
early on, I had a lot ofsickness. When I was a kid, I
(02:23):
had horrible allergies, bothfood allergies, medication,
allergies, everything out in theair outside allergies. Sounds
like I have allergies. Today, Ihave a cold, so I apologize. But
I remember being very, verysick. And to be totally honest,
I missed a lot of vital mathinstruction. When I was like in
(02:45):
the fifth grade, the sixthgrade, where you first start to
delve into doing fractions,you're adding them, you're
subtracting them, you'remultiplying them, you're
dividing them. And then just addto that that whole beginning
process of working with algebra.
I missed so much school. And Iremember just being you know how
(03:07):
teachers, I'm sure they still dothis, but it's horrible, would
make you stand around the room,you would stand up next to your
classmates at the chalkboard,and she would give you a
problem, you would write itdown, and you had to see who
could finish it the quickest.
That was terrifying. I was soscared because I knew how bad I
was. Well, through the years, Ijust gradually started to feel
you know what, Lisa? Math justisn't your thing. You're not
(03:32):
very smart. And it progressed tothat point to I really believed.
I just didn't have theintelligence for math. Now.
There were other things I wasgood at. Things like music, and
I loved history. I lovedbiology. But when it came to
mathematics or even Hello,grammar.
(03:55):
I didn't know how to diagram asentence. To this day, I get
really stressed out when peoplestart throwing words at me like
adverbs pronouns. Yeah. And Ijust wrote a book. That's how I
feel. Yes, it was it was scary.
But I literally took this thingthat happened to me when I was a
kid. I don't believe I ever hada teacher say I was not smart. I
(04:16):
think they knew I was capable ofmore, but I don't think they
recognize the big roadblock Ihad that I honestly believed a
lie about myself. And I wasintrinsically terrified of
having to face that. I wasterrified, and my grades proved
(04:36):
it. Then you start to believewell, as you get older, you're
creative and you know, peoplewho are creative, they're just
not good at math and yeah,diagramming sentences. They're
good at all the first stop,yeah, our class poetry. And,
yeah, it's okay to be I mean,it's okay to be smart in
(04:56):
different ways.
We can't be smart, all knowingand all beautiful. God created
us uniquely. And just becauseyou don't excel in one area,
that doesn't mean you buy intothe lie that you're somehow less
than others who might have thisability. And yet, I'm sure I'm
(05:20):
not the only person that'sbought into that lie that there
weren't enough. I encouragelike, even if you're watching
this now, what lies have youbought into about yourself, your
talents, your abilities, maybesomething about your purpose
that you've bought into thatkind of is holding you back? I
(05:42):
think the lies we believe arelimitations on us moving forward
the lies we believe aboutourselves. In fact, those are
probably the most inhibitivebecause we can have everybody
cheering us on around us. Right,Lisa? Right. You can we are we
are limited by our own thinkingand who God created us and
(06:07):
purpose just to be he does notgive us anything that he does
not equip us for because hesteps into that. Right. And
that's a topic right now foryou. And I because this whole
book is based upon that rightthere. In a nutshell. I just
want to take a minute before wego any further. For those of you
(06:28):
that are joining us whether youare right here watching us with
our live this morning, orwhether you are tuning in later,
why don't you just drop down inthe comments? What are some lies
that you believe about yourself?
Or what are some lies that youfeel women tell themselves? You
know, what is the lies that youfeel like we sometimes take on?
(06:48):
Or you seen people take on thathave honestly kept them stuck?
Let us drop that in thecomments. Make sure you enter
into the conversation with us.
We would love that. But yes, sowe had this situation. Amber,
what's a lie that you feelyou've believed about yourself?
(07:09):
I recognize my husband says thisis the one thing that comes out
of my mouth most often is I feellike I'm failing. And the only
reason I recognize that lie thatI was believing is because it
kept coming out of my mouth. AndI didn't recognize it that it
was coming out my mouth. And hesays, Well, why do you feel that
(07:30):
you're failing? He's like,you're doing this, you're you're
helping all these women. You'redoing these beautiful book
covers, you're doing thismagazine? Why do you feel like
you fail? And I said, Well, myhouse is a mess. I'm always
picking up but people late fromschool. And for some reason, I
take that. And I kind of muddyeverything good, right? Because
(07:58):
I think in verbalizing that I'mfeeling like I'm failing is kind
of muddying the good that Icould possibly see in the things
that I do well, and that's notthat's not a place that we
should be. Because it's anamazing thing that when we muddy
everything that good in our lifeover this one piece like math or
(08:22):
not feeling smart. It just putsthat I don't know, is it the
cloud of negativity over ourlives? I
ultimately, these lies ournegative thoughts that we've
come to believe about ourselves,whether it's something that
intrinsically happened, like Isaid, I don't believe my parents
(08:42):
or teachers ever said, you know,you're really stupid. Now, I
know, people that were told thatby teachers, they were told they
were never amount to anything.
They weren't smart enough. Andthat plagued them for all their
years. But I don't think theymay did that to me. Okay, so
it's a situation like that. Butwhat about things you were told
by maybe people in your lifethat had influence that were
(09:04):
harmful, that did skew the wayyou thought about yourself?
There are all sorts of ways thatthe lies get in us. I mean, we
are people of faith. We believethat there is ultimately an evil
there is an influence that wantsus to believe the worst about
ourselves, about the God weserve, about what we're here in
(09:25):
this place to do in serving andloving others. We live in a
society right now, where allthat we do is the body of Christ
is held under a microscope as itshould be. I want you to know I
feel very strongly but at thesame time, so much is distorted
(09:46):
by those negative thoughts, andeven our thoughts that I'm here
doing something it's not as goodas this person.
All right, I shouldn't do thatbecause I can never be this
person. Well, the truth is, youcan never be that person. But if
(10:09):
we just if we constantly refuseto do something, because
someone's doing it perceivablybetter. And we start believing
that about ourselves than wekind of negate what God has
called us to do, as uniqueindividuals as children. You
know, it talks about Satan isthe father of lies, right? He is
(10:32):
the father of lies. So whateverlies you're believing about
yourself. It's crazy. BecauseSatan, he doesn't know our
thoughts. But he can plant wordI'm sure he celebrates every
time I say or verbalize, I feellike I'm failing. I think the
enemy of our soul takes cuesfrom us, and from others close
(10:55):
to us. I think Andrew gets hismaterial ultimate. Well, you
know, there's no new thingsunder the sun. But we are in
this to win this. Got it set usup for victory. We know the
victory has been bought, it's inplay. We don't go into the game
much like the Chiefs did. I'msure they didn't go into the
(11:15):
game thinking we're losers,we're going to lose the thing,
that there is something to besaid about positive thought. And
it's not just a new age thing, Ido believe something that is
deep for us as Christians, weget our positive thought, or we
get our fixing of the lies.
Intrinsically, I believe fromseveral sources, the biggest one
(11:38):
for most of us as believers isthe word of God, hopefully, we
have a circle around us peoplethat we can lean into that love
us that want the best for us,that encourage us that when
we're down on our last negativethought, they drag us back up
the mountain top so that we cansee where we're really supposed
(12:01):
to be standing and that God hasus. And he is going to utilize
this where we are. I feel likethere are many ways that God can
help us fix that in our mind.
But we have to identify there'sa problem. Exactly. And I know
that I continually have to goback to Scripture. I know a lot
(12:24):
of you know that I do have abipolar diagnosis. And that is a
struggle, because I know mybrain does not tell me or give
me the signals that chemically Ifight some negativity, I fight
some of those thoughts. And thenI have to remind myself and take
captive my chemicals. Yes. Okay,I have to identify where is this
(12:49):
coming from? Exactly. I have notgotten enough sleep. Have I not
gotten enough water? Have I notyou know, experienced enough
sunshine or, you know, have Inot taken my medication today,
as well as the other stressorsor the unpacked baggage that I
might have in my Set your mindand keep it set. But also,
firstly, you have to have astrong foundation, you'd have to
(13:11):
know what Scripture says. It'salmost like the Bible is God
therapy in the moment because Icontinually, okay, I feel this
way. So what am I going to coverwith? What am I going to
recapture? What am I going tohold on to, to reset? Because
it's constant for me, I can'tjust get up in the morning and
(13:33):
say, I'm gonna set my mind onthe things that God because by
the time I get, you know, twokids out the door, and like 10
spend, I'm really not feelingthe setting of my mind.
In in those things, because Ifeel weary, I feel worn out. I
feel mentally, I've been pulleda few different ways. So how do
(13:55):
I reset my mind to believe thetruth that God has given me
purpose in my days and this day?
Exactly. Right now, I feel likesome of that, like I said, we
can talk about a lot of things.
There are some really deep liesthat people believe about
themselves. And maybe like Isaid earlier, they've had
(14:16):
someone who has really spokenhorrific things over them and to
them, and they've grown up alltheir life having to live with
the weight of that. I do believethat counseling wise, good
Christian counsel. I feel likethat is something that we need
to embrace. And we also need tosurround ourselves with a circle
(14:40):
of people that can speak life tous. We also need to just take
God's word. And I just want tokind of talk to you about some
of these scriptures these lives.
Perhaps for instance, what ifyou say this is just impossible?
There's no way I can do this.
Scripture tells us in Luke 1827,that with God all things are
possible, right? Or what about?
I'm not smart enough to do this.
(15:04):
First Corinthians 130 says thatGod will give me wisdom. He can
give me wisdom. What about thissituation is just too hard. I
can't keep doing this. I can'tdo hard things. The word says
God promises His grace issufficient, it's enough for us
His grace will come in and equipus to be able to move forward in
(15:25):
a situation that stifles usbecause of our fear that it is
too hard. And we're not enoughto take care of it. What about
I'm just too scared. I'm tooscared to do this. God has not
given us a spirit of fear, butof power and love and a sound
mind Second Timothy one. Sobasically, the word of God can
come in and help change thedirection of those thoughts.
(15:50):
Just as for Amber, I'm surethere have been some ways that
you've gone in and found somequick ways that can help you
with that mindset about notbeing a good homemaker, what are
some of the things that you'vebeen able to do to make you feel
a little more accomplished? Ithink some of the things that I
have done to make my self feel alittle bit more accomplished is
(16:12):
I've actually started, okay, Idon't care how tired I am at
night, I will have an idea ofwhat I'm going to make for
dinner. It may be a dinner in abox, it may be you know what,
God is not asking me to be JuneCleaver, he's asking me to be
(16:32):
amburg, right, he's asking me tobe me, I don't have to carry the
weight of everybody else's,everybody else's stuff. And
also, I had to ask myself,what's more important in life,
having time with my family, ormaking sure all the beds are
made, and the dust is off thefloor. I mean, that's natural.
(16:54):
So I can't judge myself hard,based on what I feel that
somehow I should be. Because I'mnot that person. God didn't
create me to be that person. Youknow, I have an Insta pot now,
which helps I have an air fryernow that helps Jesus for such
(17:15):
the gift of air fresheners andright, they no shame in the
Instant Pot game. And I think asmy kids grew, somehow, I thought
it was still my responsibilityto cook for them. And it's not
really my responsibility to cookfor them. When they're in high
school and older, not even whenthey're in middle school and
(17:36):
older all the time. One of thethings that I've learned is, the
best thing you can do for yourchild is help them survive
without you. So you know what,you're hungry, you need to
figure out how everything works.
And I'll show you where it is.
And I'll make sure there's foodin the house. But at the end of
the day, you miss a meal, you'rea grown person.
(18:00):
Exactly that it does that doeskind of change as as they get
older, they're not so dependentupon you for that. I know for
me, I know, it's a funny way toget back to the whole story
about the math and thehumiliating. chalkboard, math
problem races, but um, for me,my husband for years would say
to me when I would when I wouldsay you know, I'm just not
(18:22):
smart, I can't math here, Iwould send the child to him
here. You go to your dad, yourdad's really smart in this way.
I'm not.
And my husband would say to meafterwards, you know, at least
this is not true. It's not trueabout yourself. Bottom line,
you've survived just well, youcan take care of books. And you
(18:44):
can make sure that you have theright total. And you know how to
take those fractions when you'recooking and double and triple
and quadruple. And how did youdo that? Well, I don't really
know how I do it. I don't do itthe way they taught. But you did
it and you do it well. And thenjust to bring it forward, I
substitute teach, I really loveto do it. I don't have as much
(19:06):
time to do it now as I used to.
But just last week, I was in aschool for a day. And a couple
of the classes that I did wherethose classes where, you know,
maybe there are fewer students,because they're having some
challenges on some particularareas. But these classes, and I
remember a middle school class Acouple years ago to where I'm in
the class, and I'm teaching thevery thing that I have struggled
(19:30):
with, right? The funny part isjust recognizing I can listen to
the video, read the lesson plan.
And I understand it now becauseI'm seeing that through a
different. I'm going wait aminute, I can do this. I can do
this. I think encouraging as weclose out our time together. As
(19:52):
I said before, write some thingsdown, write some things that you
might be believing down, whetherit's in the comments
Sit on a sheet of paper. Andreally think about those things
as you move through your day andwrite some scripture down, write
some scripture underneath itthat contradicts those very
(20:12):
things that are in our mind, wecannot trust our mind all the
time, we trust the creator ofour mind to set a threat. And we
need to know and we need to bein tuned with that. So
constantly keeping that messagein front of us, we need that.
And we need to be resettingdaily, because there is no way
(20:36):
that we can constantly switch itback one time, and it will
continue to creep back. So weneed to just really mindfully
think about what we're thinkingabout what we're believing, and
re anchor that to what God says,if we can get rid of some of
that clutter. Mind. I'm not goodat this, or I'm not this, I'm
(20:58):
not designed for this, or Iwould fail doing this bottom
line. We put limitations onourselves aid without even
realizing it on the one thatmade us Yeah, yes, I do
understand it's important toknow yourself, know yourself
well enough to know what you canand cannot do. And yes, that is
(21:18):
important. But it's alsoimportant to know what God says
about us and to not put anythingin the way that can limit what
he wants to do with us. Yeah,exactly. And I always say if I'm
trying to do something that Ifeel that I'm struggling with
more than someone else I say,that is beyond my anointing
(21:40):
beyond my energy, but you knowwhat, I have some friends that
might be able to help us I havesome friends. That's what God
gives us friends. That's whythe body of Christ ya know, he
gives us there's truly strengthin numbers and we link arms with
one another, which is anotherthing that we really are about,
especially with our sisters, thefemales in our life, our women
(22:01):
folk. We are not here to outdoanybody. We're here to link arms
and to put more strength in ournumbers, right? You have gifts
and assets that I do not hold,and it makes me stronger to
stand next to you. Right. Yeah,right.
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