July 26, 2024 • 42 mins
Have you ever found yourself caught off guard by life's unexpected twists? This episode of "Coffee Chat with Amber and Lisa" promises to equip you with the tools to navigate those surprises with grace. Amber, who is more improvisational, contrasts her approach with Lisa's planned and practiced style. They explore how they've adapted to unexpected life events, including health crises like Lisa's bout with shingles. The conversation covers balancing daily responsibilities with unforeseen challenges, managing health issues, and the importance of creating spaces for peace and fun amidst the chaos.
They share personal stories and practical tips for finding balance, including the importance of laughter, flexibility, and intentional planning.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:15 Embracing Impromptu Living
02:01 Daily Life Challenges
03:36 The Importance of Margin
07:11 Performance Mode vs. Authenticity
08:31 Balancing Strength and Vulnerability
19:11 Finding Peace in Chaos
32:50 Intentional Living and Letting Go
35:04 Closing Thoughts and Prayer
Thank you for taking the time to like, subscribe, share, and comment. Visit leadingladies.life to find out more. Also, follow @leadingladieslife on social. Amber & Lisa are authors of the multi-award-winning book, Leading Ladies: Discover Your God-Grown Strategy for Success, which dives into the power of community and empowering women of faith to rise up and make a difference, using our gifts and faith to shine brightly in the world. Watch the Facebook Live edition on our YouTube Channel @coffeechatladies .
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everybody and welcome to Mosquito Land,
because I have some mosquitoesflying around my head.
Welcome to another episode ofCoffee Chat with Amber and my
co-author in crime, lisa.
I'm freshly rolled out of bed.
If the truth be told, we are onsuch a season of kind of
(00:23):
impromptu living.
I think Maybe that's what weshould have called the podcast
impromptu living.
I do have a lot of acting.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I've done a lot of acting in my life and something
I've always despised isimpromptu anything, because I
rely on being practiced andplanned for those moments.
I have to make sure my linesare there, I know where I'm
walking, I know what I'm pickingup, the whole thing.
When you say the word impromptu, it sends shivers down my back
(00:52):
and yet, if I'm honest, I havehad to learn how to just flow.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What did they say?
By the seat of my pants?
We could put a title behindyour name that says expert at
flying by the seat of my pantsor expert planner.
And I think that's why wecompliment each other so well,
Lisa.
It's because I'm the fly byseat of my pants and you are the
planner, and that's the beautyof our lives.
(01:22):
But we've all had to learn toadjust a little bit to impromptu
living and we have to do that.
And it's been interesting inthis season because we've had to
just adapt to everything that'sgoing on and it's either a
challenge or a struggle.
(01:43):
It's either a challenge or astruggle.
How many?
I just love to say, if you'relistening this morning to the
live stream, we'd love for youto drop something in the
comments.
What are you struggling with?
Are you a planner?
Are you a fly by the seat ofyour pants person Also working
through our day-to-day?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
life.
If you're like me and Amberprobably there are a lot of
women like this you cram as muchas you possibly can into your
day-to-day life.
While it sounds nice to say,just be balanced, pick one large
project at a time, we don'tlive that way.
No, we do not there's daily lifethat is already keeping life
(02:27):
full to the brim right and then,you have the unexpected, the
unimaginable things that come atyou from different directions
and you have to figure out whatto do with those on top of the
everyday maxed out capacity.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You also have health things thrown into the mix.
I know a lot of people dealwith health and relational
things that get thrown into themix, Like people unexpectedly
are going through rough, rockyrelationships, maybe some of
them in separation and divorce,unexpected, a lot of struggle
that comes through.
(03:04):
And it's especially hard whenyou have purpose thrown in the
mix and you don't want to saypurpose thrown in the mix, it is
that's what you feel likeyou're supposed to be called to
do.
And Lisa, I know that in themiddle of the summer you were
diagnosed with shingles.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Oh yes, of course I need one more diagnosis at all
times.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, that is an amazing impromptu.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It was quite an experience too, because it was
in the midst of once againliving life.
Everybody says you shouldalways leave a margin.
People with wisdom leave amargin.
You leave a margin of time toget where you were planning to
go.
You leave a margin in your bankaccount in case there's
emergencies.
Right the week that I came downwith shingles, the week before I
(03:53):
was not feeling well.
I have a tendency to tolerate alot more discomfort than most
people because I don't feel wella lot.
I've just been that way all mylife and I don't always know how
bad a situation is.
And the week before I had livedlife maxed out.
I had gone to I have a show I'minvolved in, I'd gone and
(04:14):
worked backstage and I reallywasn't having symptoms then.
I don't think I was symptomaticthen.
But let's just say the weekbefore was maxed out.
I watching my grandbabies anddoing everything I needed to do.
And then, all of a sudden, afew days, I start not feeling so
great and I just push it offand I take Tylenol and ibuprofen
(04:35):
and by Monday I'm being told bya physician you're going to
have to go to the hospital.
That meant everything that wasalready packed for the next week
and I had appointments for mymom, two physician's
appointments.
For those that don't know, mymom is in a rehab facility.
She is needing full-timenursing, long-term care and I'm
(04:59):
the one that usually meets herat appointments.
I had to call in the troops tohelp cover that for me.
As I'm laying in the bed, ivsin both arms, I wasn't able to
help with my grandbabies, whichput my kids in a bind.
It was an insane time and reallyall I could do in that moment
was lay my behind in thehospital bed and try to
(05:22):
concentrate on getting better.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That was all I'm going to do.
A short PSA for the shinglesvaccine.
Right here, get shinglesvaccine.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I know we have a lot of strong feelings concerning
immunizations and vaccines, andI get it.
I'm a person who doesn't eventake a flu shot and I haven't.
I've had every form of fluthere was, Thank goodness, as an
adult.
It does not affect me like itdid when I was younger and I
have autoimmune disorder.
Can I tell you, I was on my wayto get the vaccine for three
(05:53):
months before I got it.
I was like I'm going to get thevaccine, I promise you, as soon
as my time is up here.
I was supposed to wait two tothree months.
I'm getting the vaccine.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And I think chaos happens in those moments because
, number one, you're beatingyourself up because you knew you
should have done this, but atthe same time, you're like okay,
we are in scramble mode becausethis is ABC, but the part of
the miracle in this, you werefaced with Ramsey Hunt, which is
a paralysis in your face whichwas even worse than shingles.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I live with discomfort a lot and I have
learned to just push through.
Sometimes it's hard for me todifferentiate between just
pushing through daily.
This is the way I'm going tofeel, short of a miracle of God.
And what do I do in thosesituations?
And I didn't know until my facewas drooping and other people
noticed it.
Whoa yeah, that there's aproblem.
(06:52):
My face was not acting right.
It felt numb to me, like Iwould go to smile, and I knew
this side wasn't doing quitewhat this side was, and that's
the only way I was like okay, Iguess you're right, there's a
problem, one of the things thatI remember in this whole process
, because we were actuallygetting ready for a coffee chat
right before, when you were inpain.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
you did the coffee chat.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
You were in performance mode, which I'm sure
that your stage training hastaught you to go into.
Suck it up mode, girl.
We tell people that all thetime.
I battle with that because wetell young performers don't walk
into an audition and say rightoff the bat, I just want to let
you know disclaimer, here I havea cold or I'm getting over
strep throat.
We tell them not to do that.
We tell them to give their bestbecause, in all honesty, those
who are qualified judges cantell when you got a little
(07:47):
something going on here and wecan also hear the potential of
what you can do when you don'thave that.
I feel like we have to be realcareful.
I'm not so sure that I alwaysfeel a catch in my whole being
when we say things like that topeople because, also asking
people to not be authentic withwhere they're at the moment.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, I think that's the whole point of what we
wanted to do when we startedthis coffee chat is let's talk
about the realness of who we areand not having to be in
performance mode, even though wewant to talk.
I'm going to let you talk forjust a second.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
My dogs are going ballistic in the backyard and I
need to bring them in before theneighbors get them, so I'm just
going to put you on mute, welearn to perform, we learn to
adjust.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
We came into our podcast thinking, okay, we need
to dispel some of the myths ofpeople who are on a platform and
say, okay, we deal withauthentic struggle too.
That was how we laid out evenLeading Ladies the book.
And we have to see that even inour authentic struggle there is
(09:00):
authentic strength and that'sbuilt up in us and it's so
important to realize when wewalk through these things.
There's a difference betweenbeing fake and finding strength.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Exactly.
Stacey Sanchez said somethingin the comments.
She says if you want somethingdone, ask a busy woman.
We're good at carrying theweight of the world on our
shoulders.
If you want something done, aska busy woman.
We're good at carrying theweight of the world on our
shoulders.
There's a fine line betweenallowing yourself to mentally
become this martyr where youleave things unsaid and just
push ahead, but there are littlenagging thoughts that
(09:36):
constantly make you feel likepeople just don't get it.
People really don't have theability to help you out.
Get it, people really don'thave the ability to help you out
.
And I feel like there's a fineline between becoming a martyr
internally and having an effecthow we allow the Lord to walk
with us through these moments.
He doesn't just take thosemoments away.
(09:58):
He doesn't just disappear.
Now, I'm not saying he can'tand I'm not saying he doesn't.
In my life experience, walkingyears with autoimmune issues and
in spite of prayer and constantintrospection God, I know you
can change this if you want toI've noticed that what he
(10:19):
changes is probably me.
And I think there's truth tothat comment.
I think we stand on our ownstrength a lot, especially
strong women.
As women, we have a tendency toput up with or to deal with or
to juggle.
Innately, we are created tohave the capacity of meeting
(10:44):
multiple different options atone time.
We multitask.
For the most part, we have to,but we came into this world just
having to because of the sheerfact that we are female and our
roles in this society, whetherit's what God intended for us or
not.
(11:04):
In this society, whether it'swhat God intended for us or not
make us have to face that earlyon.
Right, I would say that mypersonality type is to try to
figure it out on my own.
I used to listen to sermons andpeople who say you don't rely
on your own strength, you relyon the strength of the Lord, you
(11:26):
seek help.
I had to figure out that Godhad made me a woman that had the
ability to think, solve, beresourceful, and he'd given me
those gifts with once again,let's use that word purpose,
reason for us being able tofigure out, prioritize and work
through and relying on hisstrength.
(11:50):
Let's talk about that.
What does that really mean?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Does that mean you just sit and allow.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I don't know what to do about this situation.
God, here it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What does that mean?
My number one Okay, so I comeat this to God is my strength.
The old, the old World War Twopaintings of the woman who's
getting ready and she's sayingwe can do it, we can muscle
through.
And there is that point in meis you don't want to look like a
(12:21):
wimpy woman, because we aren'twimpy, we are not wimpy girls
but at the same time, my muscletone at this moment says
otherwise.
Here's my muscle right.
I know that there are a lot ofwomen I've seen a lot of women
doing CrossFit that have a lotmore muscle than some of the
guys but at the same time likewhen I think about we can do it
(12:43):
we're made out of dirt, bonesbreak.
Where do you go with that?
That's where our authenticpersonhood is in the dirty dirt
and the bones that break.
But at the same time there's avery real God who breathed into
us his life, his strength, andhe resides, he abides in us and
(13:04):
his spirit and it gives usstrength.
But a lot of times, stubborn,headed, bullheaded.
That can be my downfall,because I'm wanting to push
through all the time and God isat.
I'm carrying weight that Iwasn't intended to push through
(13:25):
myself, so I find myself havingto balance that pushing through
and then I am so freaking tiredI don't want to do anything.
We also have specialcircumstances.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So you've been very open, amber, about your battle
with your brain chemistry.
Sometimes your brain chemistrytakes over and makes you feel
stronger than maybe you are,make you feel like you can take
on the world.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And that can be troublesome as well.
How do you weed through thosemoments?
Personally, because this is anissue for a lot of us how do we
know when we're supposed to pickit up and carry it or when
maybe we're supposed to let itlie?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I think one of the things that I've been doing in
my practice of trying to letthings go a little bit more and
it's been a struggle because wehave experienced a lot of delay
this summer, especially tryingto push through all the time as
you lose steam.
(14:34):
Can we be happy about somethingthat's happening if it's not
happening in our desiredtimeline, and how do we be
flexible about that?
And one of the things that Istarted to do is be very
purposeful in what I can fullycommit my body to do.
(14:57):
I know what I will do is I wantto muscle up, I want to push
through.
I have to realize, yes, god isin me, but I have to have
realistic expectations of thebones and dirt he's given me.
So how do I weigh that up?
And I walk through seasonswhere I'm in my hole of a cave
(15:21):
just working, where I'm in myhole of a cave just working, but
at the same time I've had tosay to myself okay, I need to
step away, I need to go for awalk, regardless of how I might
be feeling in my head, right, Ihave to tell people.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Your expectation is not realistic.
Right, I've had to put thingson the back burner, because you
are that woman who pushesthrough for everyone.
Project after project, theycome to see you as someone who
is almost superwoman in someways.
I say what is?
practical about this?
What can you do practically tohelp people see, I'm not just
superwoman.
I may be able to push through,but it's not always healthy for
(16:07):
me to push through.
And sometimes what you'reasking of me, because of who you
think I am, which I'm theexterior, what you're asking me
to be is not realistic.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I had to limit the circle of people I dealt with
and then committed to.
I limited that very small and Irefused to take on projects
beyond that.
But at the same time I have tohonestly say okay, if these all
(16:38):
things need to be done at thesame time, something's going to
give the Advanced Writers andSpeakers Association Conference.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I was trying to get there, I thought maybe my hubby
and I could go.
That wasn't working out andthen I was just like, okay,
maybe I'm not going to make it,maybe I'm not going to be able
to go by myself.
And here we are, just a fewdays out and we're rerouting
everything, yeah, and reroutingand having to do something.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And I think this is what I feel about this
conference we're going to justgo and have fun, we're just
going to go, and that's our roadtrip Kind of who we are anyway,
folks.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I don't know if you know that about us, we're just
here for the laughter.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Watch the videos in my comments.
Well, and that's the thing islike.
We need to learn to have fun inthe middle of chaos.
You have to, and those momentsare precious and we get so work
(17:40):
focused.
I can get so aggressive in mystruggle to push through.
Your personality almost changeswhen you're pushing through and
I'm like wait, this is not whoI am normally.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
This is, and just because you appear from the
outside to do it Well for me.
I'm real good at thatresourceful, get it done.
It looks real polish when I'mfinished, but the reality is
what it does to me internallysometimes because, I haven't
learned to balance, or I'velearned to balance every once in
(18:12):
a while.
We just forget what that means.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We just plow through life?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Can we learn to take joy in just the everyday and
know that struggle happens, it'sinevitable.
So laughter and letting go Ithink letting go and laughter
for me is key and going with theflow a little bit more.
And I do that, naturally.
I go with the flow and then Iget really okay, I got to make
(18:42):
something happen that has to betempered, happen that has to be
tempered.
I know that has to be tempered,but at the same time I doesn't
mean I don't go through thoseperiods of it feels like this
and I'm feeling this coming on.
What do you struggle with?
What is your approach?
When you hit struggle, do youtune out?
Do you go a gecko on a branch?
You hit struggle, do you tuneout, do you?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
go a gecko on a branch.
I kind of think I had threethings just as we've been
talking, that kind of come up tomy mind in the midst of the
chaos.
First thing you were justaddressing have some fun yes, if
that.
Or have something that takesyou out of the immediate
pressure of the chaos.
So for you that's a walk.
Sometimes I need to get away,walk away from the desk, walk
(19:25):
away from the phone calls.
I noticed something you'redoing these days that's very new
, and that is you put the littlefocus time on your phone and
yeah 20,.
I understand you forget it's onsometimes, but it doesn't matter
what I'm trying to contactAmber about.
I'm driving or answering callsright now and it's so fun.
(19:47):
That's a very new developmentfor Amber.
You have to find a way to stepaway from it.
Learn how to rest your spiritin the midst of the calamity,
the chaos, the calamity, thechaos.
(20:09):
There's an ability, with Jesus,to have peace internally in
spite of the whirling plates allaround you.
You can have peace internallyin spite of the pace you're
running and gunning at, and thatis something that has taken
years for me to learn how tolean into it.
If I can't control the chaos ifI can't put it in its place, to
help make it better sometimes.
(20:29):
I just want to ease it formyself and for others.
Recently I decided that Ineeded to overhaul a couple of
rooms in my house I don't meancalling the decorator taking
what I have and making it morestreamlined and create a sense
of calm for when I'm in themidst of moments.
So I know a lot of people maythink this is crazy, but we have
(20:52):
an old 70s style house thatwe're living in right now and
the kitchen area is a kitchenwith a small nook, with a bay
window for a little kitchen andtable, a little in-kitchen
breakfast nook, so to speak.
There's also a dining roomwhich we have always used for my
office slash, another livingarea couch chair.
(21:15):
We come in here to take a nap,we come in here to talk to
people, we come in here to reada book and we don't want to be
around everyone else.
I decided that I was going tojust totally turn the nook in
the kitchen into a nook with achair, a space where I can watch
the sunrise and sunset.
All of the houseplants went tothe window.
It's created this atmospherewhere I can just calm down for a
(21:40):
minute and start my day.
It helps me control that innerchaos and bring peace to it, and
my dining room now actually hasa dining room table in it.
My desk is in the corner butfor me just doing that has eased
some of the tightness in my gut.
I'm trying.
(22:01):
I can't control everything outthere, but I can control how can
I find my way to a morepeaceful space right here.
And sometimes it doesn't take alot of money, it just takes a
little revamping a littleorganizing, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I usually have this little place outside that is my
little hovel hole, and if I canjust keep that place, like you
keep it that is the controlelement Like hey, I can go out
here outside now.
Right now, with the mosquitopopulation ramping up, that has
been an extreme challenge.
So I haven't had as much timearound the fire pit as I would
(22:43):
like, but that's just that, mylittle soulless place as well
that I can go to in my home,that I can turn on the fire pit,
I can put a marshmallow.
One of my things that I reallyloved in this season of life is
I fish for marshmallows.
I roast marshmallows.
I don't necessarily eat them,but I like to toast them
(23:07):
perfectly, like I like to getthat perfect toast, and it takes
time to get the perfect toast.
I get the huge marshmallows, Iget the campfire ones, but that
has been like this is the goodlife.
This is me fishing formarshmallows and it's those
little things that are like,okay, I can do this.
(23:29):
And you really realize in thosemoments that you slow down, you
breathe, you concentrate ontoasting a marshmallow and it's
fun.
It's recapturing part of yourchildhood that we often forget
when we have to be adults and Ithink that's part of what you do
with your crafty yarny stuff.
My crafty.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
It's a funny thing, though.
I love crafting.
Anybody who knows me knows Ilove to make things.
But let's just be honest.
It's not like I'm this amazingseamstress or I can come up with
my own patterns.
I love and I say how can I dothat with my skillset, find a
(24:10):
way to do it.
Once again, that wholeresourceful thing pops in.
And how do you make it?
A meal out of a loaf of breadand two eggs?
You, you figure it out Right.
So for me, lately life and Iwill say it all started.
It's been a rough couple ofyears, but it all started when
we had to really put the book inplace.
(24:33):
We had to put those kinds ofthings on a back shelf.
In my mind I often think, man,it would be nice to just be able
to sit and make something.
I have to find a way to getback to that, because I do
believe that God allows thosethings in our life.
(24:55):
Sometimes in our life Christiansociety we have this mentality
that if we aren't throwingeverything we've got into
evangelizing the gospel, wheredo we fit in?
That?
If we aren't doing what we seeother people doing, then we must
not be being a very goodsteward of our time.
(25:17):
Do you believe that there aresimple things in life that
become of comfort Things?
like a warm cup of something.
There have been days where itwas just a warm cup of water,
maybe there was no coffee in thecabinet, or tea.
Maybe it's as simple as pickingup a little loom and knitting
(25:38):
something.
Maybe it's as simple as I wasalways an avid reader.
For years I read all the timethe kids would go to bed.
I was staying up all nightreading a novel because I didn't
have any other time to takemyself out of the space I was in
and go somewhere else.
Recently, my younger daughter,who reads all the time, started
(26:02):
buying me books that I mentioned.
I want to read and I've startedreading again, and I'm not
saying I didn't read.
Reading now for me is purposegetting ready for interviewing a
guest reading someone's bookbecause I want to give them a
review, because I want tosupport them.
It starts to become work.
There are elements of life thatI believe God gives us that may
(26:25):
seem mundane but, they can helpquiet and bring peace to that
internal chaos and storm we'refeeling.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Sometimes we bring storms into our lives that
disturb our peace and we don'treally have to have anything to
do with them.
What is disturbing your peaceright now?
That really should be put onthe back burner.
We can fill our feed withpolitical anger or what's
(26:54):
happening in the world or thethings that are happening that
really we don't need to take onour shoulders.
Do we really believe God's incontrol of situations?
not that we should live ignorantI say but we don't have to
emotionally invest.
And I find myself getting angrysquirt the more I scroll
(27:18):
through news and that wascausing me stress that I even
didn't need to take on at themoment.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Because I didn't know the whole story.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I did not know the whole story, I did not know
everything, and you can hear abunch of stuff and I'm like, oh
no, I heard this was going tohappen, and, and this is just
coming true, and so hard to turnin it, to turn that off.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I look at the feed and I see people that I love.
I have known for years and.
I see them taking on a tonethat is not who they are.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
My heart is grieved.
I almost feel like maybe weshould do a segment on how to
know when something is not true,how to fact check.
How do you Google, in a waytrying to pull us into a storm
that keeps us consumed withsomething other than what we're
(28:19):
really supposed to be doing.
Yeah, that's the unfortunatepart.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, that's the thing is.
Don't let anybody contribute toyour struggle that shouldn't be
in the room.
I know that we take on also andwe've talked about this before
we take this on the struggle ofother people's opinions about us
.
I have been consumed more overin the high school-ish
relationship with Travis Kelseyand Taylor Swanson and, by the
(28:46):
way, football season traininghas started.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I believe my friend Amber is talking about football
this time, a year ago, she wasnot really ramped up yet.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
I think as the season went along.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
she started, but this time, a year ago, my Amber was
not owning any Chiefs gear.
I was the only Chiefs gearperson.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, I do know they're in their dorm.
They're in their dorm season, Iguess it's for a month.
They're locked in the dorm ofcollege life.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
They locked down.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I was really nervous because of all this talk about
Kansas City Chiefs moving toKansas.
We don't know yet, but I gotmyself stressed out about that.
Why, I don't know.
I think I was just trying to beso yeah, I think that's why my
husband doesn't really like thefootball, because he feels like
(29:40):
there's stress invested therethat shouldn't be like the
football, because he feels likethere's stress invested there
that shouldn't be.
But I think that they're totake the salt with the
sensational feeling of seeing atouchdown.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But Sanchez says what's football?
Go Yankees, stacey.
For those of us here I callMissouri misery.
Let's be honest For us hereit's been decades Now.
I have to admit, boy, thoseboys in blue, those Royals, gave
us a thrill just a few shortyears back when we did the world
series, and nothing since,although this season is going to
start to stir up my heart again.
But when you are raised in aplace where your team doesn't
(30:19):
win for decades and decades, andthen they do, I've always been
a Chiefs fan since I was alittle girl, and this has been a
nice ride.
It won't last.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It never does.
I was in our favorite sportsbar in town, where we've gone to
for 20 some years, and I took apicture of this team playing
baseball and I said is this theYankees to Stacey?
And she says sacrilege.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Stacey, she used to do that to me and she lives in
the same state I do, with thesame professional ball teams, so
don't feel bad, just ignore it.
It's petty, she's silly.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Don't take a picture of those people.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
They're not the Yankees.
It sounds silly and funny, butwe do get ourselves caught up in
all sorts of those people.
They're not the Yankees.
It sounds silly and funny, butwe do get ourselves caught up in
all sorts of little things.
For me, do you know something Ido.
I get caught up in things.
I can control Word games.
I play all the word games, theword games where you spell as
many words as you can within atime.
I just started in person.
(31:22):
Words as you can within a time.
I just started in person.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
There's these games where you untie the knots, oh do
you know how grand it is tountie a massive knots?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, now we're just now, we're just getting silly.
We're revealing our rawunderbelly now with these games,
right.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, my husband just got me into text twist and on
the app and it's one of thoseand I didn't really I've never
been in, really into puzzles butit's activated my brain to, as
an editor, to spell again what'sit called?
Again, Make a text twist.
I've never understood peoplewho just stay on their phones
(32:01):
and play with puzzles, but it'sjust a little bit of a brain
stimulating my brain with somethought.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And to mention all the games.
If you're 50 years old, ifyou're 60 years old, you need to
play this game.
The reality is there are thingsin life that can help us pull
away from the extreme.
I'm talking about the negativeaspects of dwelling on those
(32:31):
things that keep us totallyrushing and never accomplishing
anything.
We have to learn how to givethem the amount of space they're
supposed to have, withoutoverindulging to such a point
that they start to become partof a problem.
Yes, and I say be intentional.
(32:53):
I know our time is almost uphere, but I think putting some
very practical things in placefor me.
I can be a very practicalperson and, yes, I love the
laughter and I love thedistraction.
But also, sometimes somethingthat helps me is just sitting
down with a calendar and, yes,it's already right here in my
(33:15):
little magical.
Sometimes it helps just towrite down the next seven days
on a piece of paper and in blackand white, look at the schedule
and determine how I'm going toconquer and am I leaving
anything out?
Sometimes it's just as simple asthat and there have been times
(33:35):
where I've looked at the nextseven days and I've said this is
not realistic, this is notpossible.
I know I'm letting people downand I'm letting myself down, but
I have to honestly back out ofthis.
Being told you're going tohospital for the next week, it's
like as much as you hate to letpeople down, you just got to do
(33:57):
what you've got to do, andthere are things in life far
more that happened to us than afew days in a hospital trying to
get well.
There are moments in life thatcome crashing in that rock us to
our core, whether our marriageis dissolved or whether it's
like a reset moment, rightWounder in the midst, and I
(34:32):
believe God can come in and helpus reset.
So, being intentional about you, take on how much you do once
again, who you let yourself upclose to In the past, your
circle had to become muchsmaller during those moments to
rally back with the help of theHoly Spirit.
(34:54):
Right, it's not always easy.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
So for today, I would love if we could just pray for
our listeners today and lookingat those things that are in our
lives and I think this is agreat thing to end in prayer on
is what are the things that weare holding onto, that are
needless, that are causing ourstruggle to be more profound?
(35:18):
What things do we need toreorganize?
What things do we need to letgo of for a season?
Where are we focusing ourenergies in?
We have a profound need to beflexible and realistic about our
days.
Lisa, before we go, I'm goingto have you close this out in
(35:40):
prayer, but can you read thatTozer quote that I sent you?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
While it looks like everything is out of control,
behind scenes there is a God whohas not surrendered authority.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So in our out of control moments, we know that
God has not surrenderedauthority over our circumstances
.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
He's still actively with us.
He's working in our behalf.
He's on our side.
He never sleeps nor slumbers.
Sometimes we get the feeling,when we are out of control, that
he's left us.
God doesn't give up.
He keeps pursuing us.
I believe his desire is alwaysto draw us closer to him.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
He's always in the room.
That's the thing we have torealize.
God's always in the room and wehave to acknowledge him in our
space.
So, lisa, just close us out inprayer, and that would be great.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Heavenly Father, I just come before you and I thank
you, lord, for this time todaywhere we could meet together and
have a real conversation aboutthose things in life that create
that overwhelmed feeling.
I'm grateful that we can shareon the airwaves, like this.
In the computer we can goplaces that we can't when we're
(36:59):
just sitting in our home, andI'm grateful for the reach that
you give.
Your message and your comfortpoint us to you.
It points us to you and thefact that you are our source
when we get caught up in thesemoments of overwhelm, these
moments of run and gun, notbeing able to discern what we
(37:21):
put our hand to next and in whatorder we get it done.
God, I pray that you wouldbreak through those difficult
moments for us.
God, I'm asking you for wisdom.
I'm asking you for thatflexibility that Amber was
speaking of, that can help us torock and roll when we need to.
I'm asking you to help usunderstand realistic
(37:43):
expectations, father, not justfor ourselves, but for others.
We are all flesh and blood.
We all have limitations and bigmoments of giftings, and I ask
you that you would help us tonot only be kind and gentle with
ourselves, but with thosearound us.
(38:05):
You never know what someoneelse is going through, and I
just thank you, father, that,just like this quote from AW
Tozer says, you are not willingto surrender In the midst of our
chaos.
You are right there, you arealways in the room, you are
always pursuing us and you arejust a whisper away.
(38:26):
I ask that for those that aregoing through a really tough
time right now, god, that youwould make it apparent that you
are in the room and that theyare not alone, that you are with
them and that you have a plan.
In Jesus name, I ask thesethings, amen.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I want to just give a quick shout out to our amazing
leading lady, tracy Glass, foranybody who's going through a
season of unexpected divorce orseparation.
She has an amazing new book outcalled Restored God's promises
to beautifully rebuild you afterdivorce or separation.
Get that book Also.
(39:07):
Next time we're supposed tohave a copy chat, we are going
to be on the road again together.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Once again.
If you haven't seen what beingon the road does to Amber and I,
just skip on over to her walland look at some past goodness,
I hope we find some goodrestrooms we can feature in our
oh, maybe so.
My goal, instead of scrollingthis week, my goal is to find
the best roadside attractionsbetween Indiana.
(39:36):
That's what I'm going to do.
We're going to find some goodstuff.
And we're going to bring somehumor to your life.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
And then we're excited because our book, le
discover your God grownstrategies for success, is up
for a second award, goldenscroll award.
So that's gonna be fun.
We're going to be at that awardceremony.
We're going to see all ourfriends, so it's going to be a
lot of friend reunion.
But until next time, would youplease go to wherever you get
your podcasts, subscribe to acoffee chat with Amber and Lisa.
(40:06):
Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
We'll see you on the road again.
Hello everybody and welcome to Mosquito Land,
because I have some mosquitoesflying around my head.
Welcome to another episode ofCoffee Chat with Amber and my
co-author in crime, lisa.
I'm freshly rolled out of bed.
If the truth be told, we are onsuch a season of kind of
(00:23):
impromptu living.
I think Maybe that's what weshould have called the podcast
impromptu living.
I do have a lot of acting.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I've done a lot of acting in my life and something
I've always despised isimpromptu anything, because I
rely on being practiced andplanned for those moments.
I have to make sure my linesare there, I know where I'm
walking, I know what I'm pickingup, the whole thing.
When you say the word impromptu, it sends shivers down my back
(00:52):
and yet, if I'm honest, I havehad to learn how to just flow.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What did they say?
By the seat of my pants?
We could put a title behindyour name that says expert at
flying by the seat of my pantsor expert planner.
And I think that's why wecompliment each other so well,
Lisa.
It's because I'm the fly byseat of my pants and you are the
planner, and that's the beautyof our lives.
(01:22):
But we've all had to learn toadjust a little bit to impromptu
living and we have to do that.
And it's been interesting inthis season because we've had to
just adapt to everything that'sgoing on and it's either a
challenge or a struggle.
(01:43):
It's either a challenge or astruggle.
How many?
I just love to say, if you'relistening this morning to the
live stream, we'd love for youto drop something in the
comments.
What are you struggling with?
Are you a planner?
Are you a fly by the seat ofyour pants person Also working
through our day-to-day?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
life.
If you're like me and Amberprobably there are a lot of
women like this you cram as muchas you possibly can into your
day-to-day life.
While it sounds nice to say,just be balanced, pick one large
project at a time, we don'tlive that way.
No, we do not there's daily lifethat is already keeping life
(02:27):
full to the brim right and then,you have the unexpected, the
unimaginable things that come atyou from different directions
and you have to figure out whatto do with those on top of the
everyday maxed out capacity.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You also have health things thrown into the mix.
I know a lot of people dealwith health and relational
things that get thrown into themix, Like people unexpectedly
are going through rough, rockyrelationships, maybe some of
them in separation and divorce,unexpected, a lot of struggle
that comes through.
(03:04):
And it's especially hard whenyou have purpose thrown in the
mix and you don't want to saypurpose thrown in the mix, it is
that's what you feel likeyou're supposed to be called to
do.
And Lisa, I know that in themiddle of the summer you were
diagnosed with shingles.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Oh yes, of course I need one more diagnosis at all
times.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, that is an amazing impromptu.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It was quite an experience too, because it was
in the midst of once againliving life.
Everybody says you shouldalways leave a margin.
People with wisdom leave amargin.
You leave a margin of time toget where you were planning to
go.
You leave a margin in your bankaccount in case there's
emergencies.
Right the week that I came downwith shingles, the week before I
(03:53):
was not feeling well.
I have a tendency to tolerate alot more discomfort than most
people because I don't feel wella lot.
I've just been that way all mylife and I don't always know how
bad a situation is.
And the week before I had livedlife maxed out.
I had gone to I have a show I'minvolved in, I'd gone and
(04:14):
worked backstage and I reallywasn't having symptoms then.
I don't think I was symptomaticthen.
But let's just say the weekbefore was maxed out.
I watching my grandbabies anddoing everything I needed to do.
And then, all of a sudden, afew days, I start not feeling so
great and I just push it offand I take Tylenol and ibuprofen
(04:35):
and by Monday I'm being told bya physician you're going to
have to go to the hospital.
That meant everything that wasalready packed for the next week
and I had appointments for mymom, two physician's
appointments.
For those that don't know, mymom is in a rehab facility.
She is needing full-timenursing, long-term care and I'm
(04:59):
the one that usually meets herat appointments.
I had to call in the troops tohelp cover that for me.
As I'm laying in the bed, ivsin both arms, I wasn't able to
help with my grandbabies, whichput my kids in a bind.
It was an insane time and reallyall I could do in that moment
was lay my behind in thehospital bed and try to
(05:22):
concentrate on getting better.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That was all I'm going to do.
A short PSA for the shinglesvaccine.
Right here, get shinglesvaccine.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I know we have a lot of strong feelings concerning
immunizations and vaccines, andI get it.
I'm a person who doesn't eventake a flu shot and I haven't.
I've had every form of fluthere was, Thank goodness, as an
adult.
It does not affect me like itdid when I was younger and I
have autoimmune disorder.
Can I tell you, I was on my wayto get the vaccine for three
(05:53):
months before I got it.
I was like I'm going to get thevaccine, I promise you, as soon
as my time is up here.
I was supposed to wait two tothree months.
I'm getting the vaccine.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And I think chaos happens in those moments because
, number one, you're beatingyourself up because you knew you
should have done this, but atthe same time, you're like okay,
we are in scramble mode becausethis is ABC, but the part of
the miracle in this, you werefaced with Ramsey Hunt, which is
a paralysis in your face whichwas even worse than shingles.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I live with discomfort a lot and I have
learned to just push through.
Sometimes it's hard for me todifferentiate between just
pushing through daily.
This is the way I'm going tofeel, short of a miracle of God.
And what do I do in thosesituations?
And I didn't know until my facewas drooping and other people
noticed it.
Whoa yeah, that there's aproblem.
(06:52):
My face was not acting right.
It felt numb to me, like Iwould go to smile, and I knew
this side wasn't doing quitewhat this side was, and that's
the only way I was like okay, Iguess you're right, there's a
problem, one of the things thatI remember in this whole process
, because we were actuallygetting ready for a coffee chat
right before, when you were inpain.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
you did the coffee chat.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
You were in performance mode, which I'm sure
that your stage training hastaught you to go into.
Suck it up mode, girl.
We tell people that all thetime.
I battle with that because wetell young performers don't walk
into an audition and say rightoff the bat, I just want to let
you know disclaimer, here I havea cold or I'm getting over
strep throat.
We tell them not to do that.
We tell them to give their bestbecause, in all honesty, those
who are qualified judges cantell when you got a little
(07:47):
something going on here and wecan also hear the potential of
what you can do when you don'thave that.
I feel like we have to be realcareful.
I'm not so sure that I alwaysfeel a catch in my whole being
when we say things like that topeople because, also asking
people to not be authentic withwhere they're at the moment.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, I think that's the whole point of what we
wanted to do when we startedthis coffee chat is let's talk
about the realness of who we areand not having to be in
performance mode, even though wewant to talk.
I'm going to let you talk forjust a second.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
My dogs are going ballistic in the backyard and I
need to bring them in before theneighbors get them, so I'm just
going to put you on mute, welearn to perform, we learn to
adjust.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
We came into our podcast thinking, okay, we need
to dispel some of the myths ofpeople who are on a platform and
say, okay, we deal withauthentic struggle too.
That was how we laid out evenLeading Ladies the book.
And we have to see that even inour authentic struggle there is
(09:00):
authentic strength and that'sbuilt up in us and it's so
important to realize when wewalk through these things.
There's a difference betweenbeing fake and finding strength.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Exactly.
Stacey Sanchez said somethingin the comments.
She says if you want somethingdone, ask a busy woman.
We're good at carrying theweight of the world on our
shoulders.
If you want something done, aska busy woman.
We're good at carrying theweight of the world on our
shoulders.
There's a fine line betweenallowing yourself to mentally
become this martyr where youleave things unsaid and just
push ahead, but there are littlenagging thoughts that
(09:36):
constantly make you feel likepeople just don't get it.
People really don't have theability to help you out.
Get it, people really don'thave the ability to help you out
.
And I feel like there's a fineline between becoming a martyr
internally and having an effecthow we allow the Lord to walk
with us through these moments.
He doesn't just take thosemoments away.
(09:58):
He doesn't just disappear.
Now, I'm not saying he can'tand I'm not saying he doesn't.
In my life experience, walkingyears with autoimmune issues and
in spite of prayer and constantintrospection God, I know you
can change this if you want toI've noticed that what he
(10:19):
changes is probably me.
And I think there's truth tothat comment.
I think we stand on our ownstrength a lot, especially
strong women.
As women, we have a tendency toput up with or to deal with or
to juggle.
Innately, we are created tohave the capacity of meeting
(10:44):
multiple different options atone time.
We multitask.
For the most part, we have to,but we came into this world just
having to because of the sheerfact that we are female and our
roles in this society, whetherit's what God intended for us or
not.
(11:04):
In this society, whether it'swhat God intended for us or not
make us have to face that earlyon.
Right, I would say that mypersonality type is to try to
figure it out on my own.
I used to listen to sermons andpeople who say you don't rely
on your own strength, you relyon the strength of the Lord, you
(11:26):
seek help.
I had to figure out that Godhad made me a woman that had the
ability to think, solve, beresourceful, and he'd given me
those gifts with once again,let's use that word purpose,
reason for us being able tofigure out, prioritize and work
through and relying on hisstrength.
(11:50):
Let's talk about that.
What does that really mean?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Does that mean you just sit and allow.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I don't know what to do about this situation.
God, here it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What does that mean?
My number one Okay, so I comeat this to God is my strength.
The old, the old World War Twopaintings of the woman who's
getting ready and she's sayingwe can do it, we can muscle
through.
And there is that point in meis you don't want to look like a
(12:21):
wimpy woman, because we aren'twimpy, we are not wimpy girls
but at the same time, my muscletone at this moment says
otherwise.
Here's my muscle right.
I know that there are a lot ofwomen I've seen a lot of women
doing CrossFit that have a lotmore muscle than some of the
guys but at the same time likewhen I think about we can do it
(12:43):
we're made out of dirt, bonesbreak.
Where do you go with that?
That's where our authenticpersonhood is in the dirty dirt
and the bones that break.
But at the same time there's avery real God who breathed into
us his life, his strength, andhe resides, he abides in us and
(13:04):
his spirit and it gives usstrength.
But a lot of times, stubborn,headed, bullheaded.
That can be my downfall,because I'm wanting to push
through all the time and God isat.
I'm carrying weight that Iwasn't intended to push through
(13:25):
myself, so I find myself havingto balance that pushing through
and then I am so freaking tiredI don't want to do anything.
We also have specialcircumstances.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So you've been very open, amber, about your battle
with your brain chemistry.
Sometimes your brain chemistrytakes over and makes you feel
stronger than maybe you are,make you feel like you can take
on the world.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And that can be troublesome as well.
How do you weed through thosemoments?
Personally, because this is anissue for a lot of us how do we
know when we're supposed to pickit up and carry it or when
maybe we're supposed to let itlie?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I think one of the things that I've been doing in
my practice of trying to letthings go a little bit more and
it's been a struggle because wehave experienced a lot of delay
this summer, especially tryingto push through all the time as
you lose steam.
(14:34):
Can we be happy about somethingthat's happening if it's not
happening in our desiredtimeline, and how do we be
flexible about that?
And one of the things that Istarted to do is be very
purposeful in what I can fullycommit my body to do.
(14:57):
I know what I will do is I wantto muscle up, I want to push
through.
I have to realize, yes, god isin me, but I have to have
realistic expectations of thebones and dirt he's given me.
So how do I weigh that up?
And I walk through seasonswhere I'm in my hole of a cave
(15:21):
just working, where I'm in myhole of a cave just working, but
at the same time I've had tosay to myself okay, I need to
step away, I need to go for awalk, regardless of how I might
be feeling in my head, right, Ihave to tell people.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Your expectation is not realistic.
Right, I've had to put thingson the back burner, because you
are that woman who pushesthrough for everyone.
Project after project, theycome to see you as someone who
is almost superwoman in someways.
I say what is?
practical about this?
What can you do practically tohelp people see, I'm not just
superwoman.
I may be able to push through,but it's not always healthy for
(16:07):
me to push through.
And sometimes what you'reasking of me, because of who you
think I am, which I'm theexterior, what you're asking me
to be is not realistic.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I had to limit the circle of people I dealt with
and then committed to.
I limited that very small and Irefused to take on projects
beyond that.
But at the same time I have tohonestly say okay, if these all
(16:38):
things need to be done at thesame time, something's going to
give the Advanced Writers andSpeakers Association Conference.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I was trying to get there, I thought maybe my hubby
and I could go.
That wasn't working out andthen I was just like, okay,
maybe I'm not going to make it,maybe I'm not going to be able
to go by myself.
And here we are, just a fewdays out and we're rerouting
everything, yeah, and reroutingand having to do something.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And I think this is what I feel about this
conference we're going to justgo and have fun, we're just
going to go, and that's our roadtrip Kind of who we are anyway,
folks.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I don't know if you know that about us, we're just
here for the laughter.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Watch the videos in my comments.
Well, and that's the thing islike.
We need to learn to have fun inthe middle of chaos.
You have to, and those momentsare precious and we get so work
(17:40):
focused.
I can get so aggressive in mystruggle to push through.
Your personality almost changeswhen you're pushing through and
I'm like wait, this is not whoI am normally.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
This is, and just because you appear from the
outside to do it Well for me.
I'm real good at thatresourceful, get it done.
It looks real polish when I'mfinished, but the reality is
what it does to me internallysometimes because, I haven't
learned to balance, or I'velearned to balance every once in
(18:12):
a while.
We just forget what that means.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We just plow through life?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Can we learn to take joy in just the everyday and
know that struggle happens, it'sinevitable.
So laughter and letting go Ithink letting go and laughter
for me is key and going with theflow a little bit more.
And I do that, naturally.
I go with the flow and then Iget really okay, I got to make
(18:42):
something happen that has to betempered, happen that has to be
tempered.
I know that has to be tempered,but at the same time I doesn't
mean I don't go through thoseperiods of it feels like this
and I'm feeling this coming on.
What do you struggle with?
What is your approach?
When you hit struggle, do youtune out?
Do you go a gecko on a branch?
You hit struggle, do you tuneout, do you?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
go a gecko on a branch.
I kind of think I had threethings just as we've been
talking, that kind of come up tomy mind in the midst of the
chaos.
First thing you were justaddressing have some fun yes, if
that.
Or have something that takesyou out of the immediate
pressure of the chaos.
So for you that's a walk.
Sometimes I need to get away,walk away from the desk, walk
(19:25):
away from the phone calls.
I noticed something you'redoing these days that's very new
, and that is you put the littlefocus time on your phone and
yeah 20,.
I understand you forget it's onsometimes, but it doesn't matter
what I'm trying to contactAmber about.
I'm driving or answering callsright now and it's so fun.
(19:47):
That's a very new developmentfor Amber.
You have to find a way to stepaway from it.
Learn how to rest your spiritin the midst of the calamity,
the chaos, the calamity, thechaos.
(20:09):
There's an ability, with Jesus,to have peace internally in
spite of the whirling plates allaround you.
You can have peace internallyin spite of the pace you're
running and gunning at, and thatis something that has taken
years for me to learn how tolean into it.
If I can't control the chaos ifI can't put it in its place, to
help make it better sometimes.
(20:29):
I just want to ease it formyself and for others.
Recently I decided that Ineeded to overhaul a couple of
rooms in my house I don't meancalling the decorator taking
what I have and making it morestreamlined and create a sense
of calm for when I'm in themidst of moments.
So I know a lot of people maythink this is crazy, but we have
(20:52):
an old 70s style house thatwe're living in right now and
the kitchen area is a kitchenwith a small nook, with a bay
window for a little kitchen andtable, a little in-kitchen
breakfast nook, so to speak.
There's also a dining roomwhich we have always used for my
office slash, another livingarea couch chair.
(21:15):
We come in here to take a nap,we come in here to talk to
people, we come in here to reada book and we don't want to be
around everyone else.
I decided that I was going tojust totally turn the nook in
the kitchen into a nook with achair, a space where I can watch
the sunrise and sunset.
All of the houseplants went tothe window.
It's created this atmospherewhere I can just calm down for a
(21:40):
minute and start my day.
It helps me control that innerchaos and bring peace to it, and
my dining room now actually hasa dining room table in it.
My desk is in the corner butfor me just doing that has eased
some of the tightness in my gut.
I'm trying.
(22:01):
I can't control everything outthere, but I can control how can
I find my way to a morepeaceful space right here.
And sometimes it doesn't take alot of money, it just takes a
little revamping a littleorganizing, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I usually have this little place outside that is my
little hovel hole, and if I canjust keep that place, like you
keep it that is the controlelement Like hey, I can go out
here outside now.
Right now, with the mosquitopopulation ramping up, that has
been an extreme challenge.
So I haven't had as much timearound the fire pit as I would
(22:43):
like, but that's just that, mylittle soulless place as well
that I can go to in my home,that I can turn on the fire pit,
I can put a marshmallow.
One of my things that I reallyloved in this season of life is
I fish for marshmallows.
I roast marshmallows.
I don't necessarily eat them,but I like to toast them
(23:07):
perfectly, like I like to getthat perfect toast, and it takes
time to get the perfect toast.
I get the huge marshmallows, Iget the campfire ones, but that
has been like this is the goodlife.
This is me fishing formarshmallows and it's those
little things that are like,okay, I can do this.
(23:29):
And you really realize in thosemoments that you slow down, you
breathe, you concentrate ontoasting a marshmallow and it's
fun.
It's recapturing part of yourchildhood that we often forget
when we have to be adults and Ithink that's part of what you do
with your crafty yarny stuff.
My crafty.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
It's a funny thing, though.
I love crafting.
Anybody who knows me knows Ilove to make things.
But let's just be honest.
It's not like I'm this amazingseamstress or I can come up with
my own patterns.
I love and I say how can I dothat with my skillset, find a
(24:10):
way to do it.
Once again, that wholeresourceful thing pops in.
And how do you make it?
A meal out of a loaf of breadand two eggs?
You, you figure it out Right.
So for me, lately life and Iwill say it all started.
It's been a rough couple ofyears, but it all started when
we had to really put the book inplace.
(24:33):
We had to put those kinds ofthings on a back shelf.
In my mind I often think, man,it would be nice to just be able
to sit and make something.
I have to find a way to getback to that, because I do
believe that God allows thosethings in our life.
(24:55):
Sometimes in our life Christiansociety we have this mentality
that if we aren't throwingeverything we've got into
evangelizing the gospel, wheredo we fit in?
That?
If we aren't doing what we seeother people doing, then we must
not be being a very goodsteward of our time.
(25:17):
Do you believe that there aresimple things in life that
become of comfort Things?
like a warm cup of something.
There have been days where itwas just a warm cup of water,
maybe there was no coffee in thecabinet, or tea.
Maybe it's as simple as pickingup a little loom and knitting
(25:38):
something.
Maybe it's as simple as I wasalways an avid reader.
For years I read all the timethe kids would go to bed.
I was staying up all nightreading a novel because I didn't
have any other time to takemyself out of the space I was in
and go somewhere else.
Recently, my younger daughter,who reads all the time, started
(26:02):
buying me books that I mentioned.
I want to read and I've startedreading again, and I'm not
saying I didn't read.
Reading now for me is purposegetting ready for interviewing a
guest reading someone's bookbecause I want to give them a
review, because I want tosupport them.
It starts to become work.
There are elements of life thatI believe God gives us that may
(26:25):
seem mundane but, they can helpquiet and bring peace to that
internal chaos and storm we'refeeling.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Sometimes we bring storms into our lives that
disturb our peace and we don'treally have to have anything to
do with them.
What is disturbing your peaceright now?
That really should be put onthe back burner.
We can fill our feed withpolitical anger or what's
(26:54):
happening in the world or thethings that are happening that
really we don't need to take onour shoulders.
Do we really believe God's incontrol of situations?
not that we should live ignorantI say but we don't have to
emotionally invest.
And I find myself getting angrysquirt the more I scroll
(27:18):
through news and that wascausing me stress that I even
didn't need to take on at themoment.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Because I didn't know the whole story.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I did not know the whole story, I did not know
everything, and you can hear abunch of stuff and I'm like, oh
no, I heard this was going tohappen, and, and this is just
coming true, and so hard to turnin it, to turn that off.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I look at the feed and I see people that I love.
I have known for years and.
I see them taking on a tonethat is not who they are.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
My heart is grieved.
I almost feel like maybe weshould do a segment on how to
know when something is not true,how to fact check.
How do you Google, in a waytrying to pull us into a storm
that keeps us consumed withsomething other than what we're
(28:19):
really supposed to be doing.
Yeah, that's the unfortunatepart.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, that's the thing is.
Don't let anybody contribute toyour struggle that shouldn't be
in the room.
I know that we take on also andwe've talked about this before
we take this on the struggle ofother people's opinions about us
.
I have been consumed more overin the high school-ish
relationship with Travis Kelseyand Taylor Swanson and, by the
(28:46):
way, football season traininghas started.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I believe my friend Amber is talking about football
this time, a year ago, she wasnot really ramped up yet.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
I think as the season went along.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
she started, but this time, a year ago, my Amber was
not owning any Chiefs gear.
I was the only Chiefs gearperson.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, I do know they're in their dorm.
They're in their dorm season, Iguess it's for a month.
They're locked in the dorm ofcollege life.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
They locked down.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I was really nervous because of all this talk about
Kansas City Chiefs moving toKansas.
We don't know yet, but I gotmyself stressed out about that.
Why, I don't know.
I think I was just trying to beso yeah, I think that's why my
husband doesn't really like thefootball, because he feels like
(29:40):
there's stress invested therethat shouldn't be like the
football, because he feels likethere's stress invested there
that shouldn't be.
But I think that they're totake the salt with the
sensational feeling of seeing atouchdown.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But Sanchez says what's football?
Go Yankees, stacey.
For those of us here I callMissouri misery.
Let's be honest For us hereit's been decades Now.
I have to admit, boy, thoseboys in blue, those Royals, gave
us a thrill just a few shortyears back when we did the world
series, and nothing since,although this season is going to
start to stir up my heart again.
But when you are raised in aplace where your team doesn't
(30:19):
win for decades and decades, andthen they do, I've always been
a Chiefs fan since I was alittle girl, and this has been a
nice ride.
It won't last.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It never does.
I was in our favorite sportsbar in town, where we've gone to
for 20 some years, and I took apicture of this team playing
baseball and I said is this theYankees to Stacey?
And she says sacrilege.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Stacey, she used to do that to me and she lives in
the same state I do, with thesame professional ball teams, so
don't feel bad, just ignore it.
It's petty, she's silly.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Don't take a picture of those people.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
They're not the Yankees.
It sounds silly and funny, butwe do get ourselves caught up in
all sorts of those people.
They're not the Yankees.
It sounds silly and funny, butwe do get ourselves caught up in
all sorts of little things.
For me, do you know something Ido.
I get caught up in things.
I can control Word games.
I play all the word games, theword games where you spell as
many words as you can within atime.
I just started in person.
(31:22):
Words as you can within a time.
I just started in person.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
There's these games where you untie the knots, oh do
you know how grand it is tountie a massive knots?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, now we're just now, we're just getting silly.
We're revealing our rawunderbelly now with these games,
right.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, my husband just got me into text twist and on
the app and it's one of thoseand I didn't really I've never
been in, really into puzzles butit's activated my brain to, as
an editor, to spell again what'sit called?
Again, Make a text twist.
I've never understood peoplewho just stay on their phones
(32:01):
and play with puzzles, but it'sjust a little bit of a brain
stimulating my brain with somethought.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And to mention all the games.
If you're 50 years old, ifyou're 60 years old, you need to
play this game.
The reality is there are thingsin life that can help us pull
away from the extreme.
I'm talking about the negativeaspects of dwelling on those
(32:31):
things that keep us totallyrushing and never accomplishing
anything.
We have to learn how to givethem the amount of space they're
supposed to have, withoutoverindulging to such a point
that they start to become partof a problem.
Yes, and I say be intentional.
(32:53):
I know our time is almost uphere, but I think putting some
very practical things in placefor me.
I can be a very practicalperson and, yes, I love the
laughter and I love thedistraction.
But also, sometimes somethingthat helps me is just sitting
down with a calendar and, yes,it's already right here in my
(33:15):
little magical.
Sometimes it helps just towrite down the next seven days
on a piece of paper and in blackand white, look at the schedule
and determine how I'm going toconquer and am I leaving
anything out?
Sometimes it's just as simple asthat and there have been times
(33:35):
where I've looked at the nextseven days and I've said this is
not realistic, this is notpossible.
I know I'm letting people downand I'm letting myself down, but
I have to honestly back out ofthis.
Being told you're going tohospital for the next week, it's
like as much as you hate to letpeople down, you just got to do
(33:57):
what you've got to do, andthere are things in life far
more that happened to us than afew days in a hospital trying to
get well.
There are moments in life thatcome crashing in that rock us to
our core, whether our marriageis dissolved or whether it's
like a reset moment, rightWounder in the midst, and I
(34:32):
believe God can come in and helpus reset.
So, being intentional about you, take on how much you do once
again, who you let yourself upclose to In the past, your
circle had to become muchsmaller during those moments to
rally back with the help of theHoly Spirit.
(34:54):
Right, it's not always easy.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
So for today, I would love if we could just pray for
our listeners today and lookingat those things that are in our
lives and I think this is agreat thing to end in prayer on
is what are the things that weare holding onto, that are
needless, that are causing ourstruggle to be more profound?
(35:18):
What things do we need toreorganize?
What things do we need to letgo of for a season?
Where are we focusing ourenergies in?
We have a profound need to beflexible and realistic about our
days.
Lisa, before we go, I'm goingto have you close this out in
(35:40):
prayer, but can you read thatTozer quote that I sent you?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
While it looks like everything is out of control,
behind scenes there is a God whohas not surrendered authority.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So in our out of control moments, we know that
God has not surrenderedauthority over our circumstances
.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
He's still actively with us.
He's working in our behalf.
He's on our side.
He never sleeps nor slumbers.
Sometimes we get the feeling,when we are out of control, that
he's left us.
God doesn't give up.
He keeps pursuing us.
I believe his desire is alwaysto draw us closer to him.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
He's always in the room.
That's the thing we have torealize.
God's always in the room and wehave to acknowledge him in our
space.
So, lisa, just close us out inprayer, and that would be great.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Heavenly Father, I just come before you and I thank
you, lord, for this time todaywhere we could meet together and
have a real conversation aboutthose things in life that create
that overwhelmed feeling.
I'm grateful that we can shareon the airwaves, like this.
In the computer we can goplaces that we can't when we're
(36:59):
just sitting in our home, andI'm grateful for the reach that
you give.
Your message and your comfortpoint us to you.
It points us to you and thefact that you are our source
when we get caught up in thesemoments of overwhelm, these
moments of run and gun, notbeing able to discern what we
(37:21):
put our hand to next and in whatorder we get it done.
God, I pray that you wouldbreak through those difficult
moments for us.
God, I'm asking you for wisdom.
I'm asking you for thatflexibility that Amber was
speaking of, that can help us torock and roll when we need to.
I'm asking you to help usunderstand realistic
(37:43):
expectations, father, not justfor ourselves, but for others.
We are all flesh and blood.
We all have limitations and bigmoments of giftings, and I ask
you that you would help us tonot only be kind and gentle with
ourselves, but with thosearound us.
(38:05):
You never know what someoneelse is going through, and I
just thank you, father, that,just like this quote from AW
Tozer says, you are not willingto surrender In the midst of our
chaos.
You are right there, you arealways in the room, you are
always pursuing us and you arejust a whisper away.
(38:26):
I ask that for those that aregoing through a really tough
time right now, god, that youwould make it apparent that you
are in the room and that theyare not alone, that you are with
them and that you have a plan.
In Jesus name, I ask thesethings, amen.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I want to just give a quick shout out to our amazing
leading lady, tracy Glass, foranybody who's going through a
season of unexpected divorce orseparation.
She has an amazing new book outcalled Restored God's promises
to beautifully rebuild you afterdivorce or separation.
Get that book Also.
(39:07):
Next time we're supposed tohave a copy chat, we are going
to be on the road again together.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Once again.
If you haven't seen what beingon the road does to Amber and I,
just skip on over to her walland look at some past goodness,
I hope we find some goodrestrooms we can feature in our
oh, maybe so.
My goal, instead of scrollingthis week, my goal is to find
the best roadside attractionsbetween Indiana.
(39:36):
That's what I'm going to do.
We're going to find some goodstuff.
And we're going to bring somehumor to your life.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
And then we're excited because our book, le
discover your God grownstrategies for success, is up
for a second award, goldenscroll award.
So that's gonna be fun.
We're going to be at that awardceremony.
We're going to see all ourfriends, so it's going to be a
lot of friend reunion.
But until next time, would youplease go to wherever you get
your podcasts, subscribe to acoffee chat with Amber and Lisa.
(40:06):
Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
We'll see you on the road again.
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