Redefining Rest: Beyond Sleep and Vacations

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SHOW DESCRIPTION

Let's get real. You know that feeling when you're running on fumes? Yeah, me too. On this week's episode, I'm ditching the fluff and diving into what rest really is and means. I'm sharing my own messy, real-life journey. We're talking about everything from that much-needed girls’ getaway that saved my sanity, to the daily grind of trying to find a moment of peace.

 

So, grab your favorite drink (mine's currently a strong coffee, don't judge), get comfy, and let's have a real conversation about prioritizing ourselves and finding that elusive rest. You deserve it, girl.

 

 

TL;DR

I'm sharing my real-life tips for finding rest amidst a busy life. Let's get real about prioritizing ourselves.

 

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction and Personal Struggles

00:41 The Annual Girls' Getaway

01:22 Welcome to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity

02:17 Exploring the Concept of Rest

03:39 The Importance of Self-Care

05:23 Personal Experiences with Rest

06:48 Finding Daily Moments of Peace

10:07 Practical Tips for Incorporating Rest

12:23 Conclusion

 

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RESOURCES

Note: I do not have any affiliations with, sponsorships or endorsements from any of the resources mentioned. They are listed for your reference.

 

Mental Health Resources

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 

Ph: 988

 

Psychology Today 

 

National Institute of Mental Health 

 

Sexual Violence Resources

RAIIN

Ph: 800.656.HOPE (4673)

 

Substance Abuse Resources

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

 

Alcoholics Anonymous

 

Al-Anon Family Groups

 

Credits

Podcast Editor: Payton Cross Productions 

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Coming up next on Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.
I came home and realized that Iwas literally exhausted.
My anxiety was still going upand down.
When we find those moments ofrest and peace, we renew
ourselves inside and out.

(00:21):
When you suffer from autoimmuneissues like I do, you know that
we don't often wake up from anytype of slumber feeling
refreshed or rejuvenated.
Put down those loads for a fewminutes every day and love on
yourself with your form of rest.
Not long ago, I had just comeback from a girl's getaway.

(00:47):
It's a trip that three of myfriends and I take each year to
the Florida panhandle.
We like going when there's lesspeople, because we get into the
sounds of the ocean waveswithout hearing a ton of people
playing on the beach.
Not a lot of kids, not a lot ofcollege students.
The town we go to is a quaintbeach town that has great coffee

(01:09):
shops, restaurants withdelicious food, and some of the
nicest people that you couldmeet.
I felt rested after this lasttrip...
until I didn't...
I'm so happy you're here.
My name is Shai Boston, and it'sa privilege to welcome you to

Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real Talk. (01:29):
undefined
It's a safe space created forwomen like us who want to have
authentic conversation aroundeverything that impacts our
life, careers, andrelationships.
Go ahead, grab your favoritebeverage and get comfy.

(01:51):
Now, let's have a chat.
Today I am drinking my decafCafe Bustello, with some sugar,
no cream.
Since I was talking about a townthat had great coffee, I figured
why not just drink some greatcoffee while I'm doing this
particular episode.
So I'm gonna take my customarysip.
Hope you take a sip of yourbeverage, too.

(02:14):
And now, let's get into it.
About two years ago, I wasspeaking to a colleague and
fellow sistafriend of mine namedShauntelle, and we were talking
about"rest" and what does thatreally mean?
We were gearing up for thelaunch of an exclusive community
she has on LinkedIn called BlackGirl Season, and this was one of

(02:35):
the topics that she was going todive into, so she wanted to
discuss it in advance with a fewof her trusted colleagues.
Primarily, we focused on what itmeans for Black women to rest,
which is a whole other topic foranother time.
Yet we explored all thedifferent types of rest.
More recently, I was talking tomy colleague and fellow

(02:58):
sistafriend Alexis, and she wassaying how this was the year for
her to realign herself with herwhole mission and purpose of
what she had when she startedher business.
She's been a coach for a while.
She's done some amazing work.
She just completed anentrepreneurs program with
Goldman Sachs.
And she realized that she wasnot prioritizing herself on her

(03:23):
own calendar.
Because of that, she did notknow how to rest.
So we discussed what that lookslike for her and what it means.
That is what I want to brieflyshare with you today.
Rest, and one of its mostimportant meanings, which is

(03:44):
also self-care.
After my friends and I hadenjoyed our week long trip, we
returned home.
I had blocked off two more daysof rest and relaxation before
jumping back into life, so tospeak.
But life had other plans for me.
Needless to say, I immediatelyhad to jump back into caring for

(04:06):
certain needs of my family,certain business matters and
other things, and I realized Iwas feeling exhausted.
On my trip, I was breathing inthe fresh air and enjoying quiet
time with my friends, but Ididn't fully unwind and relax

(04:27):
the way that I really wanted tountil we were about three days
from going home.
Why?
Because it takes time to fullyunwind on vacation for many of
us.
It takes time to fully letthings"go." When I came home and
realized that I was literallyexhausted, it clicked that it

(04:49):
was for a variety of reasons.
For example, my anxiety reallykicked into high gear once we
hit the Atlanta traffic on theway home, and people were just
driving crazy.
Being only about two weeks outfrom a car accident on the
highway where I had to avoidhitting the median wall after

(05:11):
being hit by another car, myanxiety was still going up and
down.
And that's something I wasalready working to try to get
under control and to manage.
We didn't"party" while we weregone.
We literally lazed about incomfy jammies, laughed, talked,
cried, bonded over our K-popfandoms, and watched true crime

(05:35):
documentaries and other realityshows, laughing at some of the
foolishment that we werewatching.
So then it came back to why wasI so exhausted, even with me
trying to manage my anxiety.
Thankfully, I had alreadyplanned a session with my
therapist for when I returnedhome, and that's when she said

(05:55):
to me, You need to redefine andreframe what"rest" means to you
and what it looks like." So thatgave me pause and got me to
thinking.
She even asked me like, when doI feel most rested when I'm at
home?
And I told her that my best resttimes are when I close the doors

(06:18):
to my bedroom, soak in a tub ofEpsom salt and bubble bath, and
either watch something on myiPad or listen to a podcast.
I put my phone down.
I completely let go of theoutside world, and I am
literally at peace for about anhour or so, or however long I
choose to soak.

(06:39):
Then she said to me, You need tofind a way to have that measure
of rest every day." Hmm.
The thing is, we know that restis a form of self-care, right?
We know this.
While we use many things forself-care and call it a form of
rest or relaxation like gettingour nails done or getting our

(07:02):
hair done, exercising thereality is that those really may
not be restful for us.
They're things we do to takecare of ourselves, but they may
not really allow us to let goand bring about rest.
What my therapist meant was thatwe need to find something that
we can do that palms our mind,our bodies, our spirits, and

(07:29):
brings us peace every singleday.
Is it a challenge?
You bet.
I'm working through it like somany of you are.
But is it worth the battlesistafriends?
Yes.
Yes, it is.
When we find those moments ofrest and peace, we renew

(07:53):
ourselves inside and out.
We gain energy and replenishthose energy storehouses.
We can have a peaceful mind,which allows us to clear out
mental space and allow us tothink more clearly.
For those of us with anxiety, westart to manage it a little
better day by day instead ofletting our minds run rampant.

(08:17):
Now, don't get me wrong, restlooks different for each of us.
Yes, it does.
It might be literal rest or itmight be something we do.
For example, the other day, Iclosed my bedroom door.
I turned on my massaging heatingpad.
I laid down on it.
I covered myself with a blanket,and I took a much needed nap.

(08:43):
When you suffer from autoimmuneissues like I do, you know that
we don't often wake up from anytype of slumber feeling
refreshed or rejuvenated, and ifwe do, it's extremely rare and
oftentimes short-lived.
This time, I did wake uprefreshed and rejuvenated

(09:05):
because I made it a point tofocus on what I needed at the
time, which was to let things goout of my mind, relax my body,
and treat my body to a massageit desperately needed, and to
take a nap.
My body felt better, my mind wasat ease, and I physically felt

(09:26):
refreshed.
There are times when rest for meis taking the time to really
care for my skin.
I cleanse it, do a clay mask andexfoliation.
I hydrate with a Korean facemask.
I do gua sha treatment andfinish off with moisturizer.
It can take 30 to 60 minutes orso for me to go through the

(09:49):
whole routine, just taking mytime and enjoying it.
And in the meantime, I'm eitherwatching my favorite Korean
dramas, or I'm listening to somemusic while I'm doing it, but I
allow myself to completely relaxand be at peace and just be in
the moment in that space.
For you, it might be doing somemeditation or yoga, it might be

(10:13):
reading a book.
It could be listening to musicor ambient sounds like the rain.
It could be watching Li Zi Qi onYouTube(and if you haven't seen
her videos, check her out.
SO relaxing.) What it comes downto is us determining what rest
looks like for us and thenmaking time for it daily.

(10:37):
Even if all you have is fiveminutes.
Start there with five minutesand build it up over time.
If you're a mother, if you're acaregiver, if you're working
multiple jobs, take the time.
Buy out that time.
Sacrifice something else.
Take it out of your lunch break,but do something that allows you

(11:00):
to experience that rest and thatmeasure of peace.
We have spent too many days andtoo many nights just going
through the motions, just movinghurriedly getting things done.
It's time, way past time, for usto take those moments for

(11:21):
ourselves where we can let gocompletely each day.
One of the things that I enjoyis Pilates, especially on the
reformer.
It's challenging at first.
But I notice that every timethat I get on, I'm more flexible
and stronger than I was the timebefore, even if it's only been a

(11:41):
few days apart.
But it's even better if it'sbeen every day.
You're carrying some heavy loadsthat require strength and
strength training.
Put down those loads for a fewminutes every day and love on
yourself with your form of rest.

(12:03):
Trust me, those same loads willstill be there when you're ready
to pick them up again.
But, because you loved onyourself, doing that strength
training, you're stronger.
So when you pick those loads upagain, they'll be a little
easier to carry each and everytime.

(12:23):
Go ahead...
take some time to rest today.
Then when you're ready, let meknow what you did, because I'm
always looking for new ideas,too.
I know your time is valuable andI appreciate you choosing to

(12:44):
take the time to chat with metoday.
I hope our conversation helpedyou to see things more clearly.
If you like this episode, don'tforget to subscribe so you can
always be alerted to my newepisodes each week.
Enjoy the rest of your day ornight and let's get together
again soon for some Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.