December 31, 2024 • 20 mins
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SHOW DESCRIPTION
Feeling like you're crumbling inside, despite appearing perfectly fine on the outside? In this episode, I delve into my personal journey of navigating mental health challenges. After a wake-up call from dear friends, I embarked on a deep dive into my inner world to address the underlying issues. Join me as I discuss the importance of recognizing and overcoming mental health struggles, the power of building emotional resilience, and the invaluable role of a supportive network. Learn how to find healing, self-compassion, and love yourself from the inside out while embarking on a journey of lasting emotional well-being.
TL;DR
Struggling with inner turmoil despite appearing fine? This episode shares my personal journey of overcoming mental health challenges, emphasizing self-care, therapy, and building emotional resilience. Learn how to prioritize your mental well-being and love yourself from the inside out.
Time Stamps
00:00 Trigger Warning and Introduction
00:35 The Ideal House Tour
01:30 Welcome to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity
02:34 Discovering the Cracks
05:33 The House is Me
06:26 Intervention and Realization
10:44 Seeking Professional Help
12:25 Reflecting on the Year
16:49 Encouragement and Conclusion
CONNECT WITH ME:
RESOURCES
Note: I do not have any affiliations with, sponsorships or endorsements from any of the resources mentioned. They are listed for your reference.
Mental Health Resources
Ph: 988
National Institute of Mental Health
Sexual Violence Resources
Ph: 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Substance Abuse Resources
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Credits
Podcast Editor: Payton Cross Productions
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Coming up next on Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.
My ideal house wasn't so idealanymore.
They gave me a much neededintervention regarding my mental
health.
They looked beyond the facade ofthe house, the beauty they saw
(00:20):
on the inside and out, to seethe bones of the house.
I feel like I'm losing my life."I was on the verge of a cliff
that I may go over and havegreat difficulty coming back
from, if I even could.
Before we start today's episode,I want to give a trigger
(00:42):
warning.
This episode includes briefmentions of ideation,
depression, anxiety, things ofthe like.
If your mental health is not inthe best place, and while I
would want you to listen to thisepisode, because it is about our
mental health, I'm going tosuggest that you meet me again
next week for our next episode.
(01:04):
And, in the meantime, take alook at the show notes so you
can have some resourcesavailable to you that can help
you through this challengingtime.
I recently took a tour of ahome.
It looked beautiful inside andout.
Enough rooms and space foreveryone in my family.
A nice sized family room and adeck for me to entertain my
(01:26):
family and friends.
A decent sized office space forme to work and gather my
thoughts and dance to my KPop.
And the neighborhood even mademe feel very comfortable.
It seemed ideal and a perfectfit.
I had my friends come and theywalked through the house because
they saw how much I loved it,they wanted to love it too, and
(01:49):
they did.
Since they want the best for me,they decided to take a closer
look.
That's when they pointed out tome some things that I had
missed.
Suddenly, my ideal house wasn'tso ideal anymore.
I'm so happy you're here.
My name is Shai Boston, and it'sa privilege to welcome you to
Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real talk. (02:14):
undefined
It's a safe space created forwomen like us who want to have
authentic conversation aroundeverything that impacts our
life, careers, andrelationships.
Go ahead, grab your favoritebeverage and get comfy.
(02:36):
Now, let's have a chat.
I appreciate you joining metoday.
In my glass, I have some JackDaniels Honey, and it's on the
rocks.
It just seemed appropriate fortoday's episode.
I also have water standing bybecause I almost always have
water to drink.
(02:56):
So I'm going to take my sip ofmy Jack honey.
I'll take another one for goodmeasure.
Mmm.
Okay, let's get into it.
As we made our way to the backof the house, my friends were
still very enthusiastic aboutwhat they saw.
(03:19):
They loved the house and said itwas amazing, how much they
appreciated everything about it,but they did have some concerns.
We took a moment away from therealtor so they could share
their thoughts.
They told me how much they lovedthe space of the house, that it
was truly beautiful inside andout.
(03:40):
During their inspection, though,they realized that while the
facade of the house, inside andout looked great, there were
some areas that had beenrepaired but may not have been
fixed.
In fact, they could see thatthere were some areas that
looked like they were about tostart leaking.
They took me into one of therooms and told me to look at the
(04:04):
ceiling.
Sure enough, you could see smalllines in the ceiling indicating
cracks.
In other parts of the house, youcould see where it looked like
water had accumulated in some ofthe walls and ceiling, looking
like little bubble pockets thatcould burst at the slightest
touch.
The more they pointed out whatwas wrong with that beautiful
(04:25):
home, the more I realized it wasgoing to need work.
More work than I hadanticipated.
My friends told me to haveheart.
All it would take is calling ina specialist on top of the ones
I had to inspect the home, tohelp make the repairs, and it
would be good to go.
They assured me that the househad good bones.
(04:48):
I just needed to give it somemore attention, and over time it
would be good to go.
Prior to all of this, when I wastalking to my realtor about the
house, she mentioned that Ishould really take a tour and
give it a close look and make anevaluation.
And I'm glad she did that.
And I'm glad we did.
(05:09):
I took what my friends said toheart and made some calls to a
home inspector to get it moreclosely looked at.
My"friends" are four of myclosest friends.
We call each other KBaes becausewe love all things Korean.
Korean music, movies, culture,food, beverage...the men.
(05:30):
We also love each other.
I'm the oldest, so I'm calledthe eonni(언니) of the group,
which is the Korean word forolder sister.
We share more than just a loveof KCulture.
We're spiritual sisters who alsochose each other as family.
We all have invisible illnesses.
We have so much that we bondover and the beauty of this
(05:53):
menage of women, two of us are50, the other two are in their
early 30s.
So yeah, you've got Gen Xchilling with some Millennials,
and we love each other dearly.
Did I already say that?
Okay, anyway.
The house in this story?
The"house" is me.
(06:14):
The"rooms" are my heart and mybrain, and represent all the
spaces where I have all thepeople that mean the most to me,
and all the emotions I have forthem and their situations.
The"cracks" are for my mentalstrain of caring for so many
along with the wear and tearfrom my own trauma and anxieties
(06:38):
and invisible illnesses andother things.
The"bubbles" in the walls andthe ceiling filled with water,
the bubble pockets?
Those are the tears that I havekept holding back because I
didn't have time for the mentaland emotional breakdown I
needed.
(06:58):
I didn't have time or even theability to cry.
My girls and I were hanging outrecently enjoying some much
overdue time together.
While we were chatting, I askedtwo of them what I thought was
an innocent question.
Something about their personalBible study habits and how they
managed it, since both of themare Neurodivergent like me.
(07:21):
As we talked, I startedexpressing how I've tried
several of their suggestionsbefore.
Each one shared theirthoughts...
and I simply said, I get it, Istruggle with consistency and
motivation." Then all three ofthem looked at each other.
I said,"I have no desire to doanything.
(07:44):
Not even the stuff that's mostimportant to me." I wasn't
thinking much of it until one ofthem said, Yeah, that's
something we wanted to talk toyou about.
Friend, we don't think you'redoing so good." I looked up, and
their gazes were on me.
(08:04):
Gently, they gave me a muchneeded intervention regarding my
mental health.
They looked beyond the facade ofthe house, the beauty they saw
on the inside and out, to seethe bones of the house.
They looked beyond any cosmeticsto the heart of the house.
(08:26):
They could see that while therewere some cosmetic fixes
plastered walls, paint over oldpaint and wallpaper, new
flooring over old there wasserious work that needed to be
done.
My"realtor", that's mytherapist.
She mentioned to me some monthsback that she wanted me to
(08:47):
review my year.
To really look back on it, butin a way that's different from
how most of us usually do it.
She said,"Pretend you're doing atour of a home.
Walk through each room slowly.
Make notes about the home, likea timeline, and write it down."
I had done that but I didn'tcircle back until my friends did
(09:11):
their intervention and expressedtheir concerns.
They helped me walk through my"house" and pointed out things I
had missed along the way.
In comparing their mental notesto the ones I had written down
from my own, and then alsoothers I had stored in my head
but hadn't quite gotten out yet,I can tell that my house was not
(09:35):
in order.
This is about real women andreal talk, right?
Well, here's the real and rawabout Shai and her 2023/2024
year (09:47):
I was, and still am, a hot mess.
Now that has nothing to do withmy professional knowledge and
skills because those are onpoint.
But Shai the person...
whew child! Let me take a drink.
(10:09):
While I'll keep some things tomyself to protect my privacy, of
my family and friends, and somethings I'm just not comfortable
sharing just yet, I will saythis.
I wrote the following in myjournal.
This was after my"tour.""I endthe year mentally drained,
overwhelmed, confused,exhausted.
(10:32):
My spending was out ofcontrol...
All of the great strides I madein rebuilding various parts of
my life, everything is spiralingout of control, going to
shambles.
I feel defeated, deflated, anddestroyed.
I'm desperate to regain control,to figure things out." Then I
(10:58):
read something that stopped mein my tracks, but it was exactly
what my friends said was theirchief concern.
And it read, I feel like I'mlosing my life." My friends felt
I was on the verge of a cliffthat I may go over and have
great difficulty coming backfrom, if I even could.
(11:21):
Upon all of those realizations,I called a"building inspector,"
a psychiatrist.
What's the difference between apsychologist, a licensed
therapist, and a psychiatrist?
I actually thought they were allthe same, except one, a
psychiatrist, could prescribemedication.
It's a little deeper than that.
But to keep it simple (11:41):
a licensed therapist, and there
are different types, helpspatients to manage their mental
health through various forms oftalk therapy and psychotherapy.
A psychologist can run variouspsychological tests.
They focus on behavior,thoughts, and emotions, and
(12:03):
their bearing on one's mentalhealth.
A psychiatrist is a medicaldoctor that specializes in
mental health.
They look at patients from amental and physical perspective,
crafting plans to assist themwith a wide range of treatments,
including medication, if needed.
(12:24):
Since I have a therapist, apsychiatrist was the next
logical option.
They will work in tandem to helpme get better.
And I'm actually looking forwardto my appointment.
I'm scared for a variety ofreasons.
I know though, it's the bestthing for me to continue getting
(12:45):
healthier in every way.
Even though I didn't feel I hadideation, the fact is that there
were words on paper from myheart that said I was perilously
close to crossing a line.
That's why I sit here, in frontof you, no eyebrows, which you
(13:06):
can probably see if you'rewatching me on YouTube.
Not wearing any lip gloss.
I'm wearing a bonnet, comfyclothes, got on one of my
favorite KPop sweatshirts andminimal lighting.
I have enough for you to kind ofsee me as clearly as possible.
This is me and where I am today.
(13:26):
Is this you?
If so, and you've listened thisfar, I beg that you stay with me
a little longer.
If it's not you, and it'ssomeone you love, I'm going to
ask that you stay with me alittle longer as well.
It's not easy sharing this.
I've thought it over for a longtime.
(13:47):
How much information should Ishare?
How would this impact meprofessionally?
Do I want to be this vulnerable?
Will anyone even want to hearthis?
The conclusion I came to is thatI'm sharing what I feel
comfortable with.
When I coach clients on theirpersonal and professional
development, this is part of myjob to understand them and to
(14:12):
empathize with them so I canhelp them realize their goals
and continue being or becomingtheir best selves.
It'll only make me better at myjob when I can show up as
myself, which I always strive todo.
Being authentic is extremelyimportant to me, and this is no
different.
I want my clients to know I getit, because I've been there and
(14:37):
I'm working through it.
And not only that, I'm not whereI once was personally and
professionally, and they don'thave to be in their same spots
either.
Vulnerability?
Just sharing this is vulnerableenough for me.
And I'm sure, I'm sure, someonewill want to hear this because
(14:58):
they need to.
They need to know that someoneelse is right there with them.
And so I'm laying it all outthere.
Now that I have reviewed myyear, or"toured my house", I'm
ready to make the neededrepairs.
I'll be releasing this home fromeverything that was causing it
(15:19):
to break down and refocusing myattention on loving it in whole
once again.
You can do the same.
Take some time to"tour yourhome" and write down what you
see.
Ask some of your friends andfamily what they have observed
about you at work, at home, andelsewhere.
(15:42):
What do they have concernsabout?
Then get you a"realtor" or"building inspector," your
therapist and/or psychiatrist tofurther help you through the
situation.
It's okay to admit we can't dothis on our own.
It's okay to acknowledge thatyou had a tough year.
(16:06):
Maybe a tough few years, ifyou're like me.
Maybe you were laid off orperhaps you've been unemployed
or underemployed for months ifnot years.
Maybe you had to make a decisionbetween being a caregiver to
your family and your job, andwhatever decision that you made
(16:29):
at that time, the sacrifice mayhave cost you in more ways than
you knew it would.
Did you fight your way througheverything while your mental
health was in tatters?
Perhaps there were social andpolitical situations that caused
you to feel hopeless, angry, orafraid.
(16:49):
Maybe things have happened thathave you questioning your
beliefs or your faith.
Maybe you're an entrepreneurthat can't figure out how to
keep your doors open, make endsmeet for your household, or
you're questioning everybusiness decision because
nothing seems to be happening.
It could just be the season thatwe're in and the time of year.
(17:11):
I know it's a rough time a yearfor our family.
Whatever it is, it's okay toacknowledge that you've had a
tough time and need some help.
I'm going to encourage you, as Isaid, to review your year.
I'm going to encourage you towork through your emotional and
(17:33):
mental health so you can releasewhat's holding you back from
moving forward and showing up asyour best self.
Then refocus on loving yourself.
Like any good home we shouldexamine it on occasion to make
sure it's still in good repair.
(17:54):
Once we identify areas ofconcern, we fix them instead of
patching them because patcheswill only last so long before
the real work needs to be done.
So do the real work now.
Then you can continue lovingyour house in all its glory.
(18:15):
Indeed, you'll fall in love withit again.
You'll see all of its beautyinside and out.
You'll value it even morebecause of the hard work you put
into it.
It's never easy to admit that weneed help in any way.
(18:35):
Now is the time, though, for youto have the breakdown you didn't
have time for this year.
Last year.
The year before and any othertime past.
Now is the time to show love toyour home by really looking at
it then repairing it.
(18:57):
Be gentle as some areas willneed more time to fix or
determine what the problem is.
At the end of the work, not onlywill your home have increased in
value in your eyes, it will beas beautiful as you have ever
wanted it to be.
Now, by way of reminder, thereare resources in my show notes
(19:21):
that can further assist you inachieving this goal.
As I continue to repair my homeand showing it more love, I'll
share more of my journey withyou.
Feel free to share some of yourswith me as well.
You can leave comments or reachout to me on social media.
We're in this together.
(19:41):
And I know you can do what ittakes to get healthier in every
way.
I'm looking forward to doingthis journey and to do it with
you.
I want to see how much workwe've done to our beautiful
homes by the end of next year.
I want to see our homes standingtall, looking as beautiful as
(20:04):
ever, filled with so much love.
And you know what?
You can do it.
We got this, girl.
I know your time is valuable andI appreciate you choosing to
take the time to chat with metoday.
I hope our conversation helpedyou to see things more clearly.
(20:28):
If you like this episode, don'tforget to subscribe so you can
always be alerted to my newepisodes each week.
Enjoy the rest of your day ornight and let's get together
again soon for some Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.
Coming up next on Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.
My ideal house wasn't so idealanymore.
They gave me a much neededintervention regarding my mental
health.
They looked beyond the facade ofthe house, the beauty they saw
(00:20):
on the inside and out, to seethe bones of the house.
I feel like I'm losing my life."I was on the verge of a cliff
that I may go over and havegreat difficulty coming back
from, if I even could.
Before we start today's episode,I want to give a trigger
(00:42):
warning.
This episode includes briefmentions of ideation,
depression, anxiety, things ofthe like.
If your mental health is not inthe best place, and while I
would want you to listen to thisepisode, because it is about our
mental health, I'm going tosuggest that you meet me again
next week for our next episode.
(01:04):
And, in the meantime, take alook at the show notes so you
can have some resourcesavailable to you that can help
you through this challengingtime.
I recently took a tour of ahome.
It looked beautiful inside andout.
Enough rooms and space foreveryone in my family.
A nice sized family room and adeck for me to entertain my
(01:26):
family and friends.
A decent sized office space forme to work and gather my
thoughts and dance to my KPop.
And the neighborhood even mademe feel very comfortable.
It seemed ideal and a perfectfit.
I had my friends come and theywalked through the house because
they saw how much I loved it,they wanted to love it too, and
(01:49):
they did.
Since they want the best for me,they decided to take a closer
look.
That's when they pointed out tome some things that I had
missed.
Suddenly, my ideal house wasn'tso ideal anymore.
I'm so happy you're here.
My name is Shai Boston, and it'sa privilege to welcome you to
Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real talk. (02:14):
undefined
It's a safe space created forwomen like us who want to have
authentic conversation aroundeverything that impacts our
life, careers, andrelationships.
Go ahead, grab your favoritebeverage and get comfy.
(02:36):
Now, let's have a chat.
I appreciate you joining metoday.
In my glass, I have some JackDaniels Honey, and it's on the
rocks.
It just seemed appropriate fortoday's episode.
I also have water standing bybecause I almost always have
water to drink.
(02:56):
So I'm going to take my sip ofmy Jack honey.
I'll take another one for goodmeasure.
Mmm.
Okay, let's get into it.
As we made our way to the backof the house, my friends were
still very enthusiastic aboutwhat they saw.
(03:19):
They loved the house and said itwas amazing, how much they
appreciated everything about it,but they did have some concerns.
We took a moment away from therealtor so they could share
their thoughts.
They told me how much they lovedthe space of the house, that it
was truly beautiful inside andout.
(03:40):
During their inspection, though,they realized that while the
facade of the house, inside andout looked great, there were
some areas that had beenrepaired but may not have been
fixed.
In fact, they could see thatthere were some areas that
looked like they were about tostart leaking.
They took me into one of therooms and told me to look at the
(04:04):
ceiling.
Sure enough, you could see smalllines in the ceiling indicating
cracks.
In other parts of the house, youcould see where it looked like
water had accumulated in some ofthe walls and ceiling, looking
like little bubble pockets thatcould burst at the slightest
touch.
The more they pointed out whatwas wrong with that beautiful
(04:25):
home, the more I realized it wasgoing to need work.
More work than I hadanticipated.
My friends told me to haveheart.
All it would take is calling ina specialist on top of the ones
I had to inspect the home, tohelp make the repairs, and it
would be good to go.
They assured me that the househad good bones.
(04:48):
I just needed to give it somemore attention, and over time it
would be good to go.
Prior to all of this, when I wastalking to my realtor about the
house, she mentioned that Ishould really take a tour and
give it a close look and make anevaluation.
And I'm glad she did that.
And I'm glad we did.
(05:09):
I took what my friends said toheart and made some calls to a
home inspector to get it moreclosely looked at.
My"friends" are four of myclosest friends.
We call each other KBaes becausewe love all things Korean.
Korean music, movies, culture,food, beverage...the men.
(05:30):
We also love each other.
I'm the oldest, so I'm calledthe eonni(언니) of the group,
which is the Korean word forolder sister.
We share more than just a loveof KCulture.
We're spiritual sisters who alsochose each other as family.
We all have invisible illnesses.
We have so much that we bondover and the beauty of this
(05:53):
menage of women, two of us are50, the other two are in their
early 30s.
So yeah, you've got Gen Xchilling with some Millennials,
and we love each other dearly.
Did I already say that?
Okay, anyway.
The house in this story?
The"house" is me.
(06:14):
The"rooms" are my heart and mybrain, and represent all the
spaces where I have all thepeople that mean the most to me,
and all the emotions I have forthem and their situations.
The"cracks" are for my mentalstrain of caring for so many
along with the wear and tearfrom my own trauma and anxieties
(06:38):
and invisible illnesses andother things.
The"bubbles" in the walls andthe ceiling filled with water,
the bubble pockets?
Those are the tears that I havekept holding back because I
didn't have time for the mentaland emotional breakdown I
needed.
(06:58):
I didn't have time or even theability to cry.
My girls and I were hanging outrecently enjoying some much
overdue time together.
While we were chatting, I askedtwo of them what I thought was
an innocent question.
Something about their personalBible study habits and how they
managed it, since both of themare Neurodivergent like me.
(07:21):
As we talked, I startedexpressing how I've tried
several of their suggestionsbefore.
Each one shared theirthoughts...
and I simply said, I get it, Istruggle with consistency and
motivation." Then all three ofthem looked at each other.
I said,"I have no desire to doanything.
(07:44):
Not even the stuff that's mostimportant to me." I wasn't
thinking much of it until one ofthem said, Yeah, that's
something we wanted to talk toyou about.
Friend, we don't think you'redoing so good." I looked up, and
their gazes were on me.
(08:04):
Gently, they gave me a muchneeded intervention regarding my
mental health.
They looked beyond the facade ofthe house, the beauty they saw
on the inside and out, to seethe bones of the house.
They looked beyond any cosmeticsto the heart of the house.
(08:26):
They could see that while therewere some cosmetic fixes
plastered walls, paint over oldpaint and wallpaper, new
flooring over old there wasserious work that needed to be
done.
My"realtor", that's mytherapist.
She mentioned to me some monthsback that she wanted me to
(08:47):
review my year.
To really look back on it, butin a way that's different from
how most of us usually do it.
She said,"Pretend you're doing atour of a home.
Walk through each room slowly.
Make notes about the home, likea timeline, and write it down."
I had done that but I didn'tcircle back until my friends did
(09:11):
their intervention and expressedtheir concerns.
They helped me walk through my"house" and pointed out things I
had missed along the way.
In comparing their mental notesto the ones I had written down
from my own, and then alsoothers I had stored in my head
but hadn't quite gotten out yet,I can tell that my house was not
(09:35):
in order.
This is about real women andreal talk, right?
Well, here's the real and rawabout Shai and her 2023/2024
year (09:47):
I was, and still am, a hot mess.
Now that has nothing to do withmy professional knowledge and
skills because those are onpoint.
But Shai the person...
whew child! Let me take a drink.
(10:09):
While I'll keep some things tomyself to protect my privacy, of
my family and friends, and somethings I'm just not comfortable
sharing just yet, I will saythis.
I wrote the following in myjournal.
This was after my"tour.""I endthe year mentally drained,
overwhelmed, confused,exhausted.
(10:32):
My spending was out ofcontrol...
All of the great strides I madein rebuilding various parts of
my life, everything is spiralingout of control, going to
shambles.
I feel defeated, deflated, anddestroyed.
I'm desperate to regain control,to figure things out." Then I
(10:58):
read something that stopped mein my tracks, but it was exactly
what my friends said was theirchief concern.
And it read, I feel like I'mlosing my life." My friends felt
I was on the verge of a cliffthat I may go over and have
great difficulty coming backfrom, if I even could.
(11:21):
Upon all of those realizations,I called a"building inspector,"
a psychiatrist.
What's the difference between apsychologist, a licensed
therapist, and a psychiatrist?
I actually thought they were allthe same, except one, a
psychiatrist, could prescribemedication.
It's a little deeper than that.
But to keep it simple (11:41):
a licensed therapist, and there
are different types, helpspatients to manage their mental
health through various forms oftalk therapy and psychotherapy.
A psychologist can run variouspsychological tests.
They focus on behavior,thoughts, and emotions, and
(12:03):
their bearing on one's mentalhealth.
A psychiatrist is a medicaldoctor that specializes in
mental health.
They look at patients from amental and physical perspective,
crafting plans to assist themwith a wide range of treatments,
including medication, if needed.
(12:24):
Since I have a therapist, apsychiatrist was the next
logical option.
They will work in tandem to helpme get better.
And I'm actually looking forwardto my appointment.
I'm scared for a variety ofreasons.
I know though, it's the bestthing for me to continue getting
(12:45):
healthier in every way.
Even though I didn't feel I hadideation, the fact is that there
were words on paper from myheart that said I was perilously
close to crossing a line.
That's why I sit here, in frontof you, no eyebrows, which you
(13:06):
can probably see if you'rewatching me on YouTube.
Not wearing any lip gloss.
I'm wearing a bonnet, comfyclothes, got on one of my
favorite KPop sweatshirts andminimal lighting.
I have enough for you to kind ofsee me as clearly as possible.
This is me and where I am today.
(13:26):
Is this you?
If so, and you've listened thisfar, I beg that you stay with me
a little longer.
If it's not you, and it'ssomeone you love, I'm going to
ask that you stay with me alittle longer as well.
It's not easy sharing this.
I've thought it over for a longtime.
(13:47):
How much information should Ishare?
How would this impact meprofessionally?
Do I want to be this vulnerable?
Will anyone even want to hearthis?
The conclusion I came to is thatI'm sharing what I feel
comfortable with.
When I coach clients on theirpersonal and professional
development, this is part of myjob to understand them and to
(14:12):
empathize with them so I canhelp them realize their goals
and continue being or becomingtheir best selves.
It'll only make me better at myjob when I can show up as
myself, which I always strive todo.
Being authentic is extremelyimportant to me, and this is no
different.
I want my clients to know I getit, because I've been there and
(14:37):
I'm working through it.
And not only that, I'm not whereI once was personally and
professionally, and they don'thave to be in their same spots
either.
Vulnerability?
Just sharing this is vulnerableenough for me.
And I'm sure, I'm sure, someonewill want to hear this because
(14:58):
they need to.
They need to know that someoneelse is right there with them.
And so I'm laying it all outthere.
Now that I have reviewed myyear, or"toured my house", I'm
ready to make the neededrepairs.
I'll be releasing this home fromeverything that was causing it
(15:19):
to break down and refocusing myattention on loving it in whole
once again.
You can do the same.
Take some time to"tour yourhome" and write down what you
see.
Ask some of your friends andfamily what they have observed
about you at work, at home, andelsewhere.
(15:42):
What do they have concernsabout?
Then get you a"realtor" or"building inspector," your
therapist and/or psychiatrist tofurther help you through the
situation.
It's okay to admit we can't dothis on our own.
It's okay to acknowledge thatyou had a tough year.
(16:06):
Maybe a tough few years, ifyou're like me.
Maybe you were laid off orperhaps you've been unemployed
or underemployed for months ifnot years.
Maybe you had to make a decisionbetween being a caregiver to
your family and your job, andwhatever decision that you made
(16:29):
at that time, the sacrifice mayhave cost you in more ways than
you knew it would.
Did you fight your way througheverything while your mental
health was in tatters?
Perhaps there were social andpolitical situations that caused
you to feel hopeless, angry, orafraid.
(16:49):
Maybe things have happened thathave you questioning your
beliefs or your faith.
Maybe you're an entrepreneurthat can't figure out how to
keep your doors open, make endsmeet for your household, or
you're questioning everybusiness decision because
nothing seems to be happening.
It could just be the season thatwe're in and the time of year.
(17:11):
I know it's a rough time a yearfor our family.
Whatever it is, it's okay toacknowledge that you've had a
tough time and need some help.
I'm going to encourage you, as Isaid, to review your year.
I'm going to encourage you towork through your emotional and
(17:33):
mental health so you can releasewhat's holding you back from
moving forward and showing up asyour best self.
Then refocus on loving yourself.
Like any good home we shouldexamine it on occasion to make
sure it's still in good repair.
(17:54):
Once we identify areas ofconcern, we fix them instead of
patching them because patcheswill only last so long before
the real work needs to be done.
So do the real work now.
Then you can continue lovingyour house in all its glory.
(18:15):
Indeed, you'll fall in love withit again.
You'll see all of its beautyinside and out.
You'll value it even morebecause of the hard work you put
into it.
It's never easy to admit that weneed help in any way.
(18:35):
Now is the time, though, for youto have the breakdown you didn't
have time for this year.
Last year.
The year before and any othertime past.
Now is the time to show love toyour home by really looking at
it then repairing it.
(18:57):
Be gentle as some areas willneed more time to fix or
determine what the problem is.
At the end of the work, not onlywill your home have increased in
value in your eyes, it will beas beautiful as you have ever
wanted it to be.
Now, by way of reminder, thereare resources in my show notes
(19:21):
that can further assist you inachieving this goal.
As I continue to repair my homeand showing it more love, I'll
share more of my journey withyou.
Feel free to share some of yourswith me as well.
You can leave comments or reachout to me on social media.
We're in this together.
(19:41):
And I know you can do what ittakes to get healthier in every
way.
I'm looking forward to doingthis journey and to do it with
you.
I want to see how much workwe've done to our beautiful
homes by the end of next year.
I want to see our homes standingtall, looking as beautiful as
(20:04):
ever, filled with so much love.
And you know what?
You can do it.
We got this, girl.
I know your time is valuable andI appreciate you choosing to
take the time to chat with metoday.
I hope our conversation helpedyou to see things more clearly.
(20:28):
If you like this episode, don'tforget to subscribe so you can
always be alerted to my newepisodes each week.
Enjoy the rest of your day ornight and let's get together
again soon for some Coffee,Cocktails, and Clarity.
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