November 7, 2024 • 26 mins
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The comparison trap is very real for entrepreneurs, and it’s not going anywhere any time soon.
Yes, we want to be in business for ourselves, but can we handle that mindset pressure of having to keep up with everyone else and match their quote-on-quote success story.
In this episode of Coffee Social, Jonathan Howard and myself (Mimi Langley) help shed some light on celebrating your wins more often and share strategies on how to beat that defeated talk you’re having with yourself.
Jonathan even shares the power of setting SMART goals that can aid in staying focused on your journey. That’s the one that matters the most out of this!
Grab a cup and enjoy the perfect blend of humor, personal stories, and actionable advice designed to inspire your entrepreneurial spirit.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
: Entrepreneurship is not for the weak.
: Following the path of someone else does not mean you will get their results
: Celebrate your wins.
: Unfollow anyone causing your angst.
: Set goals that are realistic for you.
: Turn to your entrepreneurial network.
: Utilize the power of motivational compilations on YouTube.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And that doesn't mean stop working towards things.
That doesn't mean stop puttingin an effort where you think you
should be, because it will findyou when you're doing the
things that you need to be doing.
It's Coffee Social, the podcast, all about social media and
business.
And now here are your hosts,Jonathan Howard and Mimi Langley
(00:23):
.
Hi, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hi Jonathan Howard, Hello Mimi Langley, hi everyone.
Hi Jonathan Howard, hello MimiLangley.
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Everyone.
Tell us what you're drinking.
You can put it in thedescription.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh, it's my cold brew .
Oh wait, not me.
You're not talking to me.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
For the listeners what are you guys drinking?
Let us know.
You can put it in the commentsection of the YouTube video or
let us know on Instagram.
We would love to know what youlove to drink.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, right, jonathan.
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
What are you drinking , though, jonathan?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm drinking my cold brew From who?
It's a cafe con leche.
My stoke cold brew it's halfcold brew, half milk.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Okay, and you know I.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Espresso.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Spanish, not French.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, with a shot of espresso in it.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I can't believe you're having espresso not
expresso.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Espresso E-S-P-R-E-S-S-O.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yes, like Sabrina Carpenter.
Yeah, yeah yeah.
By the way, this was a longtime ago.
Do you remember that video thatBritney Spears made?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
No.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, you didn't see it .
Okay, we'll talk about itbehind the scenes.
She made it, this was back likein september.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
She made it after she watched the carpenter
performance.
Yeah, that was weird.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Anyway, britney is a mess so, before we dive into
today, because this one is goingto be a tearjerker, I feel like
, I feel like at some point I'mgonna cry um we're gonna talk
about.
We're gonna talk about thecomparison trap, but you said
that you had like a sip.
But we're going to talk aboutthe comparison trap, but you
said that you had like a.
You wanted to talk aboutsomething, but I wanted to talk
about something.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, go ahead.
Do you know what I?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
get to do in a couple well, it's probably a couple
days by the time this one airsDoes it have anything to do with
who's on my mug?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, guess who, because I'm the real Swifty.
You're not, even though I'm acloset Swifty.
Guess who's seeing Taylor Swiftin Ontario, canada.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I want an heiress t-shirt.
I don't care, okay.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I'll get you a t-shirt.
I'll need the $500 in advance,though.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, it's probably only $50.
You could handle it for all thethings I've done for you.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
The things you've done for me.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's how you make people feel bad into purchasing
something Guilt trip much Okay.
But, oh my gosh, I never toldyou I actually, when I lived in
LA I would go to like Ellen'sshow, ellen DeGeneres' show and
like.
One time I went and it was whenTaylor Swift was performing
like songs off of her Red album,so I got to see her in the back
(02:45):
lot of the WB there you go.
It was pretty pretty, that's areal Swifty moment.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Forget the Arrows tour Well my sister's had a year
and she deserved a niceChristmas present.
I know Slash birthday presentfor the following year Slash.
Christmas present for thefollowing year Slash.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Tell you, when you told me, when you broke the news
to me, I immediately went and Iwas like, okay, I'm going to
the Ontario or Toronto.
Is it Ontario or Toronto?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Toronto.
Did I say Ontario, I meantToronto.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well shout out to the Canadian viewers.
But I was like I was like I'mgoing to Okay, and so I went on
there and it was like there areno tickets available.
Found.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay, and so I went on there and it was like there
are no tickets available.
Found it through a very specialsource I know people.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, I was.
I was wondering cause you can'tjust go through Ticketmaster
and buy an arrows tour ticket.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You can go through StubHub, though, but you don't
want to go through StubHubbecause people are putting them
through the roof.
I bet yeah, and the fees on italone are like $500 a ticket.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Well if y'all want an episode dedicated to how much
Jonathan spent on that.
Please vote below.
I want to know.
Okay, so let's talk about this.
Before we do, though, just incase it's someone's first time
here, tell them who you are,Jonathan Howard.
Real quick, though.
Real quick.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
My name is Jonathan Howard.
I'm the owner of Success onSocial and I help successful
female coaches reach their idealclients on social media.
Over to you, mimi.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Wow, you cut out a chunk that was your elevator
pitch.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I cut out a whole chunk at the end, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Well, hey everyone, I'm Mimi Langley.
I teach women in business howto host rooms, how to moderate
on social audio, aka audiomarketing.
It's a great way to grow yourbusiness from the ground up
LinkedIn, audio, clubhouse,chatter she keeps adding on at
the end of hers X Spaces.
I can go on for days, but yeah,so that's what I teach and
preach about.
There we go, jonathan.
(04:31):
That wasn't bad.
There you go.
So what are we talking abouttoday?
How do we want to start thisoff?
Because obviously, we'retalking about the comparison
trap.
You clicked on this episodebecause we want you to feel like
you're not alone in this.
Every single entrepreneur hasgone through this.
Even if you have the bestmindset of them all, at some
(04:52):
point in your journey you havegone through the comparison trap
.
So I'm just I'm saying that,jonathan, I feel like that's the
truth for everybody across theboard.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Well, yeah, and we talked about it in the
Entrepreneurial Roundtableearlier this season.
The comparison trap is it's areal thing, it is.
It doesn't matter how muchexperience you have, you're
always comparing yourselfagainst somebody else who does
have more.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
And you're like I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
If that's you, this episode isfor you, Because a lot of the
times when we're not where wewant to be, that we can fall
into the trap when we're lookingat others highlight reel and
we're like they're there, whycan't I get there?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They might not even be there.
So if you're going, I'm notwhere I want to be, you're
comparing yourself to somebodywho may not even be where you
want to be, either.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
True, and they might be lying too, depending on who
you're following, Like we'vetalked about I know we've talked
about this where, like you know, people will put up how much
money they made in the last 30days and it's a screenshot but
it's a screenshot.
It's like you don't know wherethey got that from.
They could have gotten thatfrom AI or they could have made
it in Canva.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I often copy and paste mine from other people
that say they make the claimsand then stick them online.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right, a lot of people do that.
If you pay attention, you'llprobably see a lot of the same
statements going around, likebank statements.
Okay, let's just kick it offwith what you put in the notes.
You said you decided to be anentrepreneur, so what do you
want to say about that?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
No, you decided to be an entrepreneur.
So what do you want to say?
No, you decided to be anentrepreneur.
You decided that you wanted togo out and make it on your own,
without being in the businessworld, without being part of
that corporate cog.
You know, you decided youwanted to make it on your own.
So make it on your own damnself.
Don't decide that I'm going togo make it on my own and then
follow somebody else's entirepath.
(06:45):
That's what you left.
That's not what you wanted tobecome.
So go and create your owndestiny, create your own pathway
, create what you want out ofyour business by doing it the
way that you want to do it.
Don't follow somebody else'spattern and say this is the way
I have to do it in order toreach my goal, because that's
being a corporate cog.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Well, jonathan, I also think it's.
Sometimes it's not our faultfor falling into that, because
there's a lot, I don't know.
It's like, it's almost like insome ways, in order to reach
success, and you define whateverthat is, but for a lot of us
it's like oh, we want to makethis amount of money a month, or
we want to have six figures.
It's almost like there is thisformula that's been painted out
(07:31):
by a ton of differententrepreneurs.
It's like you see the samething all the time, and so you
fall into that.
You're like I have to do itthis way if I'm going to hit six
figures.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right, but the thing is, you don't necessarily have
to do it that way to hit sixfigures.
But the thing is you don'tnecessarily have to do it that
way to hit six figures.
You have to set your own goalsand set your own.
You know what you want toaccomplish, what success means
to you, and then you map yoursteps based on what will get you
to that success and find acoach that will help you get to
(08:02):
that the success that you want,not the success that they want.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I know a lot of this is much easier said than done,
people.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It is absolutely much easier said than done.
I still struggle with it andeverybody still struggles with
it.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
So yeah, and I mean, and it doesn't even matter, like
what you're taking on, it'slike it's, it's a, it's a
constant effort to get betterwith your mindset, and it's like
you're always going to beworking on that.
Jonathan, you talk about thatall the time.
It's like we're always going tobe working on our you know,
mindset growth and yeahabsolutely there's.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
There is no point, at least that I've ever heard of,
where people are like, yeah, mymindset's perfect, I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
No, I never, never have thoselimiting beliefs, because every
time there's another challengeyou never get.
I think Erica said it in theEntrepreneurial Roundtable you
never get to the top of thatmountain.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I'm starting year four and I'm not even where she
is.
It's like you almost want tostop because you're like, well,
I've missed my opportunity, I'vemissed the boat.
Clearly, if I'm on year fourand she's been able to do it in
six months, I'm doing somethingwrong here.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, here's the thing have you, in those four
years, been following your ownpathway or have you been
following somebody else andlearning the lessons that they
need to learn, not the lessonsthat you need to learn?
Yeah, because your lessons andher lessons whoever her is may
be very different and you mightbe learning lessons that you've
(09:35):
already learned.
Meanwhile, the universe, orwhatever, is throwing lessons in
front of you that you'reignoring because you're
following another path, and ifyou learn the lessons that the
universe was throwing in frontof you, then maybe you'd
actually be ahead of them.
So, following your own path.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I love that.
I'm not going to cry.
I'm not going to cry.
But now that we're talkingabout this because we are going
to talk about ways to notcompare we are going to give you
guys some tips and tricks andsolutions so that you don't fall
into the comparison trap quiteas often.
So we'll get into that.
But I was just thinking.
I'm a believer, I know you're abeliever too, and it's almost
(10:11):
like that's not supposed to befor me.
What's supposed to be for mewill be for me.
It will happen.
So maybe this is not my moment,this is her moment, and so let
that be what it is.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Right.
And that doesn't mean stopworking towards things.
That doesn't mean stop puttingin an effort where you think you
should be, because it will findyou when you're doing the
things that you need to be doing.
So, whatever it is, it willfind you.
So don't just give up and sayI'm not doing this anymore.
I'm not, you know.
Keep working at it.
(10:44):
You have to believe that thehard work will pay off.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That's so true, okay, and it might not look like what
you thought it was going tolook like.
That's like another thing youknow.
It's like you have this idea ofwhat the ultimate destiny is
for you and your business, andit's like it might look even
better than you could have everimagined.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
So it's pretty wild.
Don't be scared of that either.
Don't say that's too big for meand turn away from it.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh yeah, yo fit, who was a guest on season one, she
would have she was slapped us.
I mean she wouldn't haveslapped us, but you know what I
mean?
You'll fit would have given itto us in Spanish.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Okay, before we, we're probablygoing to dive into a commercial
break real quick, you guys, andthen when we come back we'll
have ways to kind of get youthrough the not comparing
yourself.
(11:33):
Yes, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I think you know, following your journey,
understanding that your successis to come, that you've got to
keep working at it.
You know all of those thingsare great.
But then how do you avoid thecomparison trap?
And that's what we can go overafter, because there are
definitely things that you cando to avoid the comparison trap.
And that's what we can go overafter, because there are
definitely things that you cando to avoid the comparison trap,
and it makes it a little biteasier, if not a lot easier.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I love that.
All right.
Well, Jonathan, you have topress the button.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Okay, the commercials need to roll.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
We'll be right back guys.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Are you tired of not having the time, not having the
clarity, not having a clue whatto post or what trends are even
important on social media?
There is a solution out there,and that solution is the
Signature Membership.
The Signature Membership willhelp you by providing you a
strategy showing you how toremain consistent, always having
ideas on what to post andhaving clarity in your content.
(12:25):
Overall, it's even going tohelp your visibility and your
ability to make money on socialmedia.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Is social media starting to feel like crickets
for you lately no engagement, nolikes.
Hello, does anyone see this?
Is anyone out there?
What if I told you that socialaudio, aka audio marketing,
could be the game changer thatyour business needs?
Hi, it's Mimi Langley here andI teach all about social audio,
and right now I have a brand newtraining all about LinkedIn
(12:53):
audio.
Yes, linkedin has social audio.
Learn how LinkedIn audiooperates and the strategies
you'll need to gain visibility,make sales and grow your email
list in under 60 minutes.
Check the description for alink, all right, guys.
Well, welcome back.
We're going to put all of thoselinks for you in the
description, so make sure youcheck it out, and we have some
(13:13):
extra links in there as well foryou.
That will help.
All right, jonathan.
So now we're into the goodstuff.
We talked about overallcomparison trap and we kind of
gave our words of wisdom.
But let's talk about ways wefind ourselves slowly falling
into the comparison trap, likethink ways that we can just get
out quickly, right?
So the first one we have on thelist is celebrate your wins.
(13:35):
So what does that mean to you?
Like, how do you do?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
that.
So to me, celebrate your winsmeans getting out there and
actually it doesn't matter howsmall the win is, but giving
yourself a pat on the back,getting a piece of you know a
piece of cake for it, whatever,give yourself a cookie, but no,
really celebrate that youaccomplished something that
matters in your business,because it's those small wins
that add up to the big win, andone of the other things I
(14:00):
recommend this is a big oneespecially if you're having a
really down day.
Create a wins binder, somethingthat shows all the wins that
you've had.
When you celebrate that win,you put it in that binder and go
back to it, whether it's agreat review or, you know,
accomplishing something.
If you're having a bad day, goback to it and look, I can do
stuff, I have accomplishedthings, I am awesome, like all
(14:23):
of that just as a reminder.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So you have a physical binder.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I do.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Because I do hear people do it virtually, like
they'll have like a folder intheir Google Drive.
But I love that you have aphysical one where you can just
like flip through the pages.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But Mimi, I also write everything out.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, I love it.
This is why we connect so well,because I love pen to paper, so
I'm with you on that, exceptyou have a really, really big
piece of paper.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I do have a really big piece of paper.
You still have that.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yep, I love that, jonathan, because I feel like
and maybe you're like this, ifyou're listening in, where it's
like we're hustling and we'restriving so much for that big,
the big, big win that we misslike everything that we've done
all the way there, it's likethere's so many things that are
like considered a win and wemiss them all.
(15:09):
We miss them all.
That's really good.
I'm really, I'm really inspiredby that binder idea.
I like that.
I like that a lot, okay.
The next one we have is unfuzzmy favorite one.
Unfollow anyone causing you theangst.
Okay.
So if you know you'reconstantly on Instagram and you
see the same person and they'realways, you know it triggers you
(15:30):
in some way like at this point,just unfollow.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What do you think?
Unfollow them.
I mean, I don't particularlyunfollow people in my niche, in
my industry because I I don'tcompare.
I contrast, I will do a, youknow, like this is what they're
putting out.
There's a gap here.
But if you're that person thatthey cause you angst, they cause
(15:55):
you frustration, they'releading to a negative mindset,
block them, remove them,unfollow whatever you got to do.
Same applies for social audio,same applies for anywhere you
block people in your life.
If they're causing you aproblem, block them.
You don't need that energy inyour life.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Set those boundaries that's like another word.
I think that we can putboundaries, block, do not
disturb.
That's my favorite, yeah, but Ilove it.
I mean check in with yourself,because if you're feeling some
kind of way, don't ignore thatfeeling.
There's some truth behind it.
So I love that and we couldhave a whole episode dedicated
(16:34):
to that, because there's a lot.
Okay, set realistic, smartgoals.
Can you just explain what asmart goal is?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, and I'm not going to remember all the things
that it stands for.
But specific, yeah, and I'm notgoing to remember all the
things that it stands for.
But specific, attainable,time-bound all of those things
you want to have a goal that canbe measured and that you can
reach.
You don't want to have all yourgoals be so aspirational that
(17:11):
you're never going to reach them, because then you're going to
be focusing on the things youcan't reach.
Instead, I'm taking using smartgoals to get my way to this big
goal.
So, really using smart goalsand there's other forms of goals
that are some are moreactionable, some are more basic,
but, you know, finding a goalsystem that works for you,
that's helping you get towardsthe bigger goal.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, and I mean, don't ignore the bigger goal.
Like a lot of people, you, youlook at that bigger goal and
yeah, and I mean, don't ignorethe bigger goal.
Like a lot of people, you lookat that bigger goal and then you
break it down into smart goals,like little things that you can
do, like each little goalshould be a smart type of a
smart goal.
I like that a lot.
What's one for us in thepodcast?
I know we want to have asponsorship with you know
Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's an inspirational goal.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, so now we have to just break it down into
little smart goals.
Yeah, to hit that, we want tohave Taylor Swift on the podcast
.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just manifesting that's an aspirational goal.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Come on Tay Tay.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We love you.
Mimi doesn't, but it's anaspirational goal, but I love
that that's.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
That's really smart.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Because once.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
But I love that.
That's really smart.
But the importance of it isthat the way that you frame how
you're going to get to your goalis for you and you know you can
do it because you've formulatedto where it's realistic.
You can get this done.
Yep, yeah, okay, the next thingon our list coach or
(18:29):
entrepreneurial buddies that youcan talk to when you are
falling into the comparison.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, Surround yourself with good people.
Find a coach.
I'm a big believer in getting acoach.
You know that.
I've said it all the time.
But if you can't find someentrepreneurial buddies that
will help you, that will supportyou, that will be there saying
you know you're doing great,you're making progress not
blowing smoke up your ass, butactually giving real feedback.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Hey, I like the smoke up the ASS, no, but really,
though sometimes you're so deepinto it, Like sometimes the
comparison trap you know I thinkwe're minimizing it a little
bit Like it can be a very bigdeal and it can be detrimental
to a lot of business ownerswhere people will actually close
their business because it gotto them so much.
So if you feel like you're atthat point where there's just
(19:22):
there's no way that you can dothis on your own, turn to them,
Because even just hearing fromother people saying how amazing
you are, you can do this, itcould be a game changer.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
So don't if it's that moment when you're like I'm
just going to close my business,don't act in haste.
Don't act in haste.
So many people and I know Mimiloves this one so many people
close right before they make itbig, right before they have that
breakthrough, right beforesomething happens that makes
them successful, and we don'twant that for anybody.
(19:54):
It's hard.
Being an entrepreneur is hard.
We chose the hard way, but it'salso rewarding.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and it's funny, I have, like you know, one of
my favorite drawings is thediamond guy.
There's one guy who's so closeto the diamonds but he turned
away, and then the other guy is.
He hits it because he keptgoing.
I love that drawing.
Okay, something I personallylike to do to kind of get out of
the comparison trap mindset is,I love watching motivational
(20:27):
video compilations on YouTube.
There's a ton of them, you guys, no matter what you need a
motivation in, just type it inthe search on YouTube, you'll
find it.
But personally, I like turningto graduation speeches and I
love Oscar winning speeches.
Do you ever watch those?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
No, there's some good ones, jonathan.
That doesn't motivate me.
Oh, it motivates me.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I'm like, oh yeah, I could do this, ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Because I would never look to Ashton Kutcher to
provide me advice.
Hey, he created Punt.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
He's done a lot for himself, you leave Ashton alone,
okay, no, but really, though,denzel Washington is also a
great one to motivate.
So anyways, I'm just saying,sometimes it's like-.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
James Earl Jones.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Sometimes great one to motivate.
So anyways, I'm just saying,sometimes it's like sometimes
you don't want to talk, true, Imean, sometimes you don't want
to talk to people.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You know, he's really yes, I know.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Well, it was a sad day when I came out that that
news broke.
No, but like, sometimes youdon't want to talk to anyone,
like you're just so.
You're just like, you know whatI mean.
Like you just want to be alone.
And so when you're alone, youcan at least press play and
listen.
Okay.
The next one was and I don'tknow if you've ever done this
I'm actually curious, jonathanwhere you can make like a video
(21:39):
or like record a voice memo ofyou talking to you, like saying
Jonathan, it's me, it's going tobe okay, like we've been here
before, like have you ever donesomething like that?
I think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I haven't, but I do write a letter to myself at the
end of the year for the nextyear.
In what you know I want toaccomplish and you know how, you
know the, the things, the goalsthat are on my mind this year I
thought I decided I would do itfor five years, like five years
in advance, because the lastthree years I haven't
(22:11):
accomplished any of the thingsthat were on my list Was the
podcast on there.
The podcast wasn't.
I've accomplished things thatweren't on my list of things to
do, but I didn't accomplish anyof the things that were on my
list of things to do, so.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I figured five years, five years.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, yeah, so I have that actually sealed away in my
cabinet there, taped to the top, so I don't lose it.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
You know, I do like that this one would be more
random, right?
You're just like you want tojust record something, and it
could be like you deep, deep inemotion, like you just had a
failure, and so you record thatand saying it's going to be okay
, like I don't know.
And so you record that andsaying it's going to be okay,
like I don't know.
I guess you could do it howeveryou want, but I just thought
that was an interesting one.
(22:53):
Okay, this is going to be thelast one.
You guys, there's obviously alot more than this, but we want
to kind of keep these digestible, these episodes.
I don't know if Jonathan doesthis, but I am a big believer in
this.
And that is when you're in themoment and you're getting that
(23:13):
comparison, comparison traptaking over pause like step away
, run like get out of there likego leave your office, go
outside, get some sun, likereset.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Do you do that?
So I don't always do that,because I find that when I'm in
that comparison trap, if I pause, my brain doesn't pause.
So what I do is I tend to goand do something different,
whether it's make dinner and tryto turn the brain off, or
journal, or meditate, or, youknow, take a moment and speak to
the higher power, whatever itmay be.
(23:39):
I tend to do something that'sgoing to replace the activity of
the comparison, because if I donothing, I continue to compare
Right, like you can't shut yourmind off.
Yeah, I can never shut my mindoff, it just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No, I know, I know I do like, though I feel like
increasing those endorphins,like walking, you know, doing a
little bit of movement can helpthem.
You know it bursts thehappiness, Yep.
So that might be good.
Maybe drop and do some planking.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
You could do that.
You'd walk, yeah, you'd do,jumping jacks have a dance party
.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh, I can't do jumping jacks.
Don't even ask me Do you dojumping jacks?
I?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
can do jumping jacks.
I'm not going to my suitjacket's too tight because I
haven't been doing jumping jacks.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Everything jumps up and down work.
All right, jonathan.
I mean we try to bring a littlebit of humor into this
conversation, but again, we hopethat you took some things away
from today's episode.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, because it is very real.
The comparison trap is veryreal for all people, always.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
All right.
Well, do you want to go aheadand do your thing?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Let people know that they need to give us five stars
on the podcast.
Five stars, so Mimi gets lovesher five stars.
Anywhere that you listen to thepodcast you can drop a rating
or review.
We would absolutely love that.
We always give shout outs tothe people that give us some
nice ratings, but don't giveMimi four stars like Bob did.
Bob, I see you, bob, I stillthink about Bob.
(25:05):
I don't like you, bob.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I mean we like you, bob.
I still think about Bob.
I don't like you, bob.
I mean we like you, but wedon't like you Bob, over to you
Mimi.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
That was all, jonathan, I hate no one, bob,
I'm watching you.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
We're going to end the episode with the most
important question of them all.
Jonathan, I didn't ask youbeforehand which one should we
choose, because I have twooptions.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Go with one.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Okay, I have a good one.
Okay, you guys, I'm watchingBob still and we want you to put
your answer in either thecomment section of the YouTube
video or on our Instagram.
Let us know what you are.
But are you team progress overperfection or team aim for
excellence?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Progress over-perfection.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
No, way, no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yes, I am, you are so aim for excellence Stop.
Progress over-perfection.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Stop, yeah, okay, no, you're right, because you are
one.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Posted is better than perfect.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Right, right, right.
You are one.
I feel like I am a little bitof both Not going to lie?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
No, you're not.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I love aiming for excellence.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I'm type A yeah, you aim for excellence.
You need to loosen that up alittle bit.
We'll have a conversation orepisode about that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
We're going to talk behind the scenes yeah, we can't
let you guys hear this, sowe're going to close down the
episode, so.
I can yell at Jonathan, allright.
Well, thank you everyone forwatching and listening in, and
we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Bye everyone.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Bye Jonathan Howard, bye Mimi Langley.
I can see it, I can see it.
I can see it with my ghost eyes.
I can see it, I can see it.
I can see it with my ghost eyes.
And that doesn't mean stop working towards things.
That doesn't mean stop puttingin an effort where you think you
should be, because it will findyou when you're doing the
things that you need to be doing.
It's Coffee Social, the podcast, all about social media and
business.
And now here are your hosts,Jonathan Howard and Mimi Langley
(00:23):
.
Hi, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hi Jonathan Howard, Hello Mimi Langley, hi everyone.
Hi Jonathan Howard, hello MimiLangley.
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Everyone.
Tell us what you're drinking.
You can put it in thedescription.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh, it's my cold brew .
Oh wait, not me.
You're not talking to me.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
For the listeners what are you guys drinking?
Let us know.
You can put it in the commentsection of the YouTube video or
let us know on Instagram.
We would love to know what youlove to drink.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, right, jonathan.
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
What are you drinking , though, jonathan?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm drinking my cold brew From who?
It's a cafe con leche.
My stoke cold brew it's halfcold brew, half milk.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Okay, and you know I.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Espresso.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Spanish, not French.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, with a shot of espresso in it.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I can't believe you're having espresso not
expresso.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Espresso E-S-P-R-E-S-S-O.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yes, like Sabrina Carpenter.
Yeah, yeah yeah.
By the way, this was a longtime ago.
Do you remember that video thatBritney Spears made?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
No.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, you didn't see it .
Okay, we'll talk about itbehind the scenes.
She made it, this was back likein september.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
She made it after she watched the carpenter
performance.
Yeah, that was weird.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Anyway, britney is a mess so, before we dive into
today, because this one is goingto be a tearjerker, I feel like
, I feel like at some point I'mgonna cry um we're gonna talk
about.
We're gonna talk about thecomparison trap, but you said
that you had like a sip.
But we're going to talk aboutthe comparison trap, but you
said that you had like a.
You wanted to talk aboutsomething, but I wanted to talk
about something.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, go ahead.
Do you know what I?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
get to do in a couple well, it's probably a couple
days by the time this one airsDoes it have anything to do with
who's on my mug?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, guess who, because I'm the real Swifty.
You're not, even though I'm acloset Swifty.
Guess who's seeing Taylor Swiftin Ontario, canada.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I want an heiress t-shirt.
I don't care, okay.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I'll get you a t-shirt.
I'll need the $500 in advance,though.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, it's probably only $50.
You could handle it for all thethings I've done for you.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
The things you've done for me.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's how you make people feel bad into purchasing
something Guilt trip much Okay.
But, oh my gosh, I never toldyou I actually, when I lived in
LA I would go to like Ellen'sshow, ellen DeGeneres' show and
like.
One time I went and it was whenTaylor Swift was performing
like songs off of her Red album,so I got to see her in the back
(02:45):
lot of the WB there you go.
It was pretty pretty, that's areal Swifty moment.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Forget the Arrows tour Well my sister's had a year
and she deserved a niceChristmas present.
I know Slash birthday presentfor the following year Slash.
Christmas present for thefollowing year Slash.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Tell you, when you told me, when you broke the news
to me, I immediately went and Iwas like, okay, I'm going to
the Ontario or Toronto.
Is it Ontario or Toronto?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Toronto.
Did I say Ontario, I meantToronto.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well shout out to the Canadian viewers.
But I was like I was like I'mgoing to Okay, and so I went on
there and it was like there areno tickets available.
Found.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay, and so I went on there and it was like there
are no tickets available.
Found it through a very specialsource I know people.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, I was.
I was wondering cause you can'tjust go through Ticketmaster
and buy an arrows tour ticket.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You can go through StubHub, though, but you don't
want to go through StubHubbecause people are putting them
through the roof.
I bet yeah, and the fees on italone are like $500 a ticket.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Well if y'all want an episode dedicated to how much
Jonathan spent on that.
Please vote below.
I want to know.
Okay, so let's talk about this.
Before we do, though, just incase it's someone's first time
here, tell them who you are,Jonathan Howard.
Real quick, though.
Real quick.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
My name is Jonathan Howard.
I'm the owner of Success onSocial and I help successful
female coaches reach their idealclients on social media.
Over to you, mimi.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Wow, you cut out a chunk that was your elevator
pitch.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I cut out a whole chunk at the end, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Well, hey everyone, I'm Mimi Langley.
I teach women in business howto host rooms, how to moderate
on social audio, aka audiomarketing.
It's a great way to grow yourbusiness from the ground up
LinkedIn, audio, clubhouse,chatter she keeps adding on at
the end of hers X Spaces.
I can go on for days, but yeah,so that's what I teach and
preach about.
There we go, jonathan.
(04:31):
That wasn't bad.
There you go.
So what are we talking abouttoday?
How do we want to start thisoff?
Because obviously, we'retalking about the comparison
trap.
You clicked on this episodebecause we want you to feel like
you're not alone in this.
Every single entrepreneur hasgone through this.
Even if you have the bestmindset of them all, at some
(04:52):
point in your journey you havegone through the comparison trap
.
So I'm just I'm saying that,jonathan, I feel like that's the
truth for everybody across theboard.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Well, yeah, and we talked about it in the
Entrepreneurial Roundtableearlier this season.
The comparison trap is it's areal thing, it is.
It doesn't matter how muchexperience you have, you're
always comparing yourselfagainst somebody else who does
have more.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
And you're like I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
If that's you, this episode isfor you, Because a lot of the
times when we're not where wewant to be, that we can fall
into the trap when we're lookingat others highlight reel and
we're like they're there, whycan't I get there?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They might not even be there.
So if you're going, I'm notwhere I want to be, you're
comparing yourself to somebodywho may not even be where you
want to be, either.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
True, and they might be lying too, depending on who
you're following, Like we'vetalked about I know we've talked
about this where, like you know, people will put up how much
money they made in the last 30days and it's a screenshot but
it's a screenshot.
It's like you don't know wherethey got that from.
They could have gotten thatfrom AI or they could have made
it in Canva.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I often copy and paste mine from other people
that say they make the claimsand then stick them online.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right, a lot of people do that.
If you pay attention, you'llprobably see a lot of the same
statements going around, likebank statements.
Okay, let's just kick it offwith what you put in the notes.
You said you decided to be anentrepreneur, so what do you
want to say about that?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
No, you decided to be an entrepreneur.
So what do you want to say?
No, you decided to be anentrepreneur.
You decided that you wanted togo out and make it on your own,
without being in the businessworld, without being part of
that corporate cog.
You know, you decided youwanted to make it on your own.
So make it on your own damnself.
Don't decide that I'm going togo make it on my own and then
follow somebody else's entirepath.
(06:45):
That's what you left.
That's not what you wanted tobecome.
So go and create your owndestiny, create your own pathway
, create what you want out ofyour business by doing it the
way that you want to do it.
Don't follow somebody else'spattern and say this is the way
I have to do it in order toreach my goal, because that's
being a corporate cog.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Well, jonathan, I also think it's.
Sometimes it's not our faultfor falling into that, because
there's a lot, I don't know.
It's like, it's almost like insome ways, in order to reach
success, and you define whateverthat is, but for a lot of us
it's like oh, we want to makethis amount of money a month, or
we want to have six figures.
It's almost like there is thisformula that's been painted out
(07:31):
by a ton of differententrepreneurs.
It's like you see the samething all the time, and so you
fall into that.
You're like I have to do itthis way if I'm going to hit six
figures.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right, but the thing is, you don't necessarily have
to do it that way to hit sixfigures.
But the thing is you don'tnecessarily have to do it that
way to hit six figures.
You have to set your own goalsand set your own.
You know what you want toaccomplish, what success means
to you, and then you map yoursteps based on what will get you
to that success and find acoach that will help you get to
(08:02):
that the success that you want,not the success that they want.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I know a lot of this is much easier said than done,
people.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It is absolutely much easier said than done.
I still struggle with it andeverybody still struggles with
it.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
So yeah, and I mean, and it doesn't even matter, like
what you're taking on, it'slike it's, it's a, it's a
constant effort to get betterwith your mindset, and it's like
you're always going to beworking on that.
Jonathan, you talk about thatall the time.
It's like we're always going tobe working on our you know,
mindset growth and yeahabsolutely there's.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
There is no point, at least that I've ever heard of,
where people are like, yeah, mymindset's perfect, I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
No, I never, never have thoselimiting beliefs, because every
time there's another challengeyou never get.
I think Erica said it in theEntrepreneurial Roundtable you
never get to the top of thatmountain.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I'm starting year four and I'm not even where she
is.
It's like you almost want tostop because you're like, well,
I've missed my opportunity, I'vemissed the boat.
Clearly, if I'm on year fourand she's been able to do it in
six months, I'm doing somethingwrong here.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, here's the thing have you, in those four
years, been following your ownpathway or have you been
following somebody else andlearning the lessons that they
need to learn, not the lessonsthat you need to learn?
Yeah, because your lessons andher lessons whoever her is may
be very different and you mightbe learning lessons that you've
(09:35):
already learned.
Meanwhile, the universe, orwhatever, is throwing lessons in
front of you that you'reignoring because you're
following another path, and ifyou learn the lessons that the
universe was throwing in frontof you, then maybe you'd
actually be ahead of them.
So, following your own path.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I love that.
I'm not going to cry.
I'm not going to cry.
But now that we're talkingabout this because we are going
to talk about ways to notcompare we are going to give you
guys some tips and tricks andsolutions so that you don't fall
into the comparison trap quiteas often.
So we'll get into that.
But I was just thinking.
I'm a believer, I know you're abeliever too, and it's almost
(10:11):
like that's not supposed to befor me.
What's supposed to be for mewill be for me.
It will happen.
So maybe this is not my moment,this is her moment, and so let
that be what it is.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Right.
And that doesn't mean stopworking towards things.
That doesn't mean stop puttingin an effort where you think you
should be, because it will findyou when you're doing the
things that you need to be doing.
So, whatever it is, it willfind you.
So don't just give up and sayI'm not doing this anymore.
I'm not, you know.
Keep working at it.
(10:44):
You have to believe that thehard work will pay off.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That's so true, okay, and it might not look like what
you thought it was going tolook like.
That's like another thing youknow.
It's like you have this idea ofwhat the ultimate destiny is
for you and your business, andit's like it might look even
better than you could have everimagined.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
So it's pretty wild.
Don't be scared of that either.
Don't say that's too big for meand turn away from it.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh yeah, yo fit, who was a guest on season one, she
would have she was slapped us.
I mean she wouldn't haveslapped us, but you know what I
mean?
You'll fit would have given itto us in Spanish.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Okay, before we, we're probablygoing to dive into a commercial
break real quick, you guys, andthen when we come back we'll
have ways to kind of get youthrough the not comparing
yourself.
(11:33):
Yes, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I think you know, following your journey,
understanding that your successis to come, that you've got to
keep working at it.
You know all of those thingsare great.
But then how do you avoid thecomparison trap?
And that's what we can go overafter, because there are
definitely things that you cando to avoid the comparison trap.
And that's what we can go overafter, because there are
definitely things that you cando to avoid the comparison trap,
and it makes it a little biteasier, if not a lot easier.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I love that.
All right.
Well, Jonathan, you have topress the button.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Okay, the commercials need to roll.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
We'll be right back guys.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Are you tired of not having the time, not having the
clarity, not having a clue whatto post or what trends are even
important on social media?
There is a solution out there,and that solution is the
Signature Membership.
The Signature Membership willhelp you by providing you a
strategy showing you how toremain consistent, always having
ideas on what to post andhaving clarity in your content.
(12:25):
Overall, it's even going tohelp your visibility and your
ability to make money on socialmedia.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Is social media starting to feel like crickets
for you lately no engagement, nolikes.
Hello, does anyone see this?
Is anyone out there?
What if I told you that socialaudio, aka audio marketing,
could be the game changer thatyour business needs?
Hi, it's Mimi Langley here andI teach all about social audio,
and right now I have a brand newtraining all about LinkedIn
(12:53):
audio.
Yes, linkedin has social audio.
Learn how LinkedIn audiooperates and the strategies
you'll need to gain visibility,make sales and grow your email
list in under 60 minutes.
Check the description for alink, all right, guys.
Well, welcome back.
We're going to put all of thoselinks for you in the
description, so make sure youcheck it out, and we have some
(13:13):
extra links in there as well foryou.
That will help.
All right, jonathan.
So now we're into the goodstuff.
We talked about overallcomparison trap and we kind of
gave our words of wisdom.
But let's talk about ways wefind ourselves slowly falling
into the comparison trap, likethink ways that we can just get
out quickly, right?
So the first one we have on thelist is celebrate your wins.
(13:35):
So what does that mean to you?
Like, how do you do?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
that.
So to me, celebrate your winsmeans getting out there and
actually it doesn't matter howsmall the win is, but giving
yourself a pat on the back,getting a piece of you know a
piece of cake for it, whatever,give yourself a cookie, but no,
really celebrate that youaccomplished something that
matters in your business,because it's those small wins
that add up to the big win, andone of the other things I
(14:00):
recommend this is a big oneespecially if you're having a
really down day.
Create a wins binder, somethingthat shows all the wins that
you've had.
When you celebrate that win,you put it in that binder and go
back to it, whether it's agreat review or, you know,
accomplishing something.
If you're having a bad day, goback to it and look, I can do
stuff, I have accomplishedthings, I am awesome, like all
(14:23):
of that just as a reminder.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So you have a physical binder.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I do.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Because I do hear people do it virtually, like
they'll have like a folder intheir Google Drive.
But I love that you have aphysical one where you can just
like flip through the pages.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But Mimi, I also write everything out.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, I love it.
This is why we connect so well,because I love pen to paper, so
I'm with you on that, exceptyou have a really, really big
piece of paper.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I do have a really big piece of paper.
You still have that.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yep, I love that, jonathan, because I feel like
and maybe you're like this, ifyou're listening in, where it's
like we're hustling and we'restriving so much for that big,
the big, big win that we misslike everything that we've done
all the way there, it's likethere's so many things that are
like considered a win and wemiss them all.
(15:09):
We miss them all.
That's really good.
I'm really, I'm really inspiredby that binder idea.
I like that.
I like that a lot, okay.
The next one we have is unfuzzmy favorite one.
Unfollow anyone causing you theangst.
Okay.
So if you know you'reconstantly on Instagram and you
see the same person and they'realways, you know it triggers you
(15:30):
in some way like at this point,just unfollow.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What do you think?
Unfollow them.
I mean, I don't particularlyunfollow people in my niche, in
my industry because I I don'tcompare.
I contrast, I will do a, youknow, like this is what they're
putting out.
There's a gap here.
But if you're that person thatthey cause you angst, they cause
(15:55):
you frustration, they'releading to a negative mindset,
block them, remove them,unfollow whatever you got to do.
Same applies for social audio,same applies for anywhere you
block people in your life.
If they're causing you aproblem, block them.
You don't need that energy inyour life.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Set those boundaries that's like another word.
I think that we can putboundaries, block, do not
disturb.
That's my favorite, yeah, but Ilove it.
I mean check in with yourself,because if you're feeling some
kind of way, don't ignore thatfeeling.
There's some truth behind it.
So I love that and we couldhave a whole episode dedicated
(16:34):
to that, because there's a lot.
Okay, set realistic, smartgoals.
Can you just explain what asmart goal is?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, and I'm not going to remember all the things
that it stands for.
But specific, yeah, and I'm notgoing to remember all the
things that it stands for.
But specific, attainable,time-bound all of those things
you want to have a goal that canbe measured and that you can
reach.
You don't want to have all yourgoals be so aspirational that
(17:11):
you're never going to reach them, because then you're going to
be focusing on the things youcan't reach.
Instead, I'm taking using smartgoals to get my way to this big
goal.
So, really using smart goalsand there's other forms of goals
that are some are moreactionable, some are more basic,
but, you know, finding a goalsystem that works for you,
that's helping you get towardsthe bigger goal.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, and I mean, don't ignore the bigger goal.
Like a lot of people, you, youlook at that bigger goal and
yeah, and I mean, don't ignorethe bigger goal.
Like a lot of people, you lookat that bigger goal and then you
break it down into smart goals,like little things that you can
do, like each little goalshould be a smart type of a
smart goal.
I like that a lot.
What's one for us in thepodcast?
I know we want to have asponsorship with you know
Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's an inspirational goal.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, so now we have to just break it down into
little smart goals.
Yeah, to hit that, we want tohave Taylor Swift on the podcast
.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just manifesting that's an aspirational goal.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Come on Tay Tay.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We love you.
Mimi doesn't, but it's anaspirational goal, but I love
that that's.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
That's really smart.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Because once.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
But I love that.
That's really smart.
But the importance of it isthat the way that you frame how
you're going to get to your goalis for you and you know you can
do it because you've formulatedto where it's realistic.
You can get this done.
Yep, yeah, okay, the next thingon our list coach or
(18:29):
entrepreneurial buddies that youcan talk to when you are
falling into the comparison.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, Surround yourself with good people.
Find a coach.
I'm a big believer in getting acoach.
You know that.
I've said it all the time.
But if you can't find someentrepreneurial buddies that
will help you, that will supportyou, that will be there saying
you know you're doing great,you're making progress not
blowing smoke up your ass, butactually giving real feedback.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Hey, I like the smoke up the ASS, no, but really,
though sometimes you're so deepinto it, Like sometimes the
comparison trap you know I thinkwe're minimizing it a little
bit Like it can be a very bigdeal and it can be detrimental
to a lot of business ownerswhere people will actually close
their business because it gotto them so much.
So if you feel like you're atthat point where there's just
(19:22):
there's no way that you can dothis on your own, turn to them,
Because even just hearing fromother people saying how amazing
you are, you can do this, itcould be a game changer.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
So don't if it's that moment when you're like I'm
just going to close my business,don't act in haste.
Don't act in haste.
So many people and I know Mimiloves this one so many people
close right before they make itbig, right before they have that
breakthrough, right beforesomething happens that makes
them successful, and we don'twant that for anybody.
(19:54):
It's hard.
Being an entrepreneur is hard.
We chose the hard way, but it'salso rewarding.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and it's funny, I have, like you know, one of
my favorite drawings is thediamond guy.
There's one guy who's so closeto the diamonds but he turned
away, and then the other guy is.
He hits it because he keptgoing.
I love that drawing.
Okay, something I personallylike to do to kind of get out of
the comparison trap mindset is,I love watching motivational
(20:27):
video compilations on YouTube.
There's a ton of them, you guys, no matter what you need a
motivation in, just type it inthe search on YouTube, you'll
find it.
But personally, I like turningto graduation speeches and I
love Oscar winning speeches.
Do you ever watch those?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
No, there's some good ones, jonathan.
That doesn't motivate me.
Oh, it motivates me.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I'm like, oh yeah, I could do this, ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Because I would never look to Ashton Kutcher to
provide me advice.
Hey, he created Punt.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
He's done a lot for himself, you leave Ashton alone,
okay, no, but really, though,denzel Washington is also a
great one to motivate.
So anyways, I'm just saying,sometimes it's like-.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
James Earl Jones.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Sometimes great one to motivate.
So anyways, I'm just saying,sometimes it's like sometimes
you don't want to talk, true, Imean, sometimes you don't want
to talk to people.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You know, he's really yes, I know.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Well, it was a sad day when I came out that that
news broke.
No, but like, sometimes youdon't want to talk to anyone,
like you're just so.
You're just like, you know whatI mean.
Like you just want to be alone.
And so when you're alone, youcan at least press play and
listen.
Okay.
The next one was and I don'tknow if you've ever done this
I'm actually curious, jonathanwhere you can make like a video
(21:39):
or like record a voice memo ofyou talking to you, like saying
Jonathan, it's me, it's going tobe okay, like we've been here
before, like have you ever donesomething like that?
I think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I haven't, but I do write a letter to myself at the
end of the year for the nextyear.
In what you know I want toaccomplish and you know how, you
know the, the things, the goalsthat are on my mind this year I
thought I decided I would do itfor five years, like five years
in advance, because the lastthree years I haven't
(22:11):
accomplished any of the thingsthat were on my list Was the
podcast on there.
The podcast wasn't.
I've accomplished things thatweren't on my list of things to
do, but I didn't accomplish anyof the things that were on my
list of things to do, so.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I figured five years, five years.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, yeah, so I have that actually sealed away in my
cabinet there, taped to the top, so I don't lose it.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
You know, I do like that this one would be more
random, right?
You're just like you want tojust record something, and it
could be like you deep, deep inemotion, like you just had a
failure, and so you record thatand saying it's going to be okay
, like I don't know.
And so you record that andsaying it's going to be okay,
like I don't know.
I guess you could do it howeveryou want, but I just thought
that was an interesting one.
(22:53):
Okay, this is going to be thelast one.
You guys, there's obviously alot more than this, but we want
to kind of keep these digestible, these episodes.
I don't know if Jonathan doesthis, but I am a big believer in
this.
And that is when you're in themoment and you're getting that
(23:13):
comparison, comparison traptaking over pause like step away
, run like get out of there likego leave your office, go
outside, get some sun, likereset.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Do you do that?
So I don't always do that,because I find that when I'm in
that comparison trap, if I pause, my brain doesn't pause.
So what I do is I tend to goand do something different,
whether it's make dinner and tryto turn the brain off, or
journal, or meditate, or, youknow, take a moment and speak to
the higher power, whatever itmay be.
(23:39):
I tend to do something that'sgoing to replace the activity of
the comparison, because if I donothing, I continue to compare
Right, like you can't shut yourmind off.
Yeah, I can never shut my mindoff, it just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No, I know, I know I do like, though I feel like
increasing those endorphins,like walking, you know, doing a
little bit of movement can helpthem.
You know it bursts thehappiness, Yep.
So that might be good.
Maybe drop and do some planking.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
You could do that.
You'd walk, yeah, you'd do,jumping jacks have a dance party
.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh, I can't do jumping jacks.
Don't even ask me Do you dojumping jacks?
I?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
can do jumping jacks.
I'm not going to my suitjacket's too tight because I
haven't been doing jumping jacks.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Everything jumps up and down work.
All right, jonathan.
I mean we try to bring a littlebit of humor into this
conversation, but again, we hopethat you took some things away
from today's episode.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, because it is very real.
The comparison trap is veryreal for all people, always.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
All right.
Well, do you want to go aheadand do your thing?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Let people know that they need to give us five stars
on the podcast.
Five stars, so Mimi gets lovesher five stars.
Anywhere that you listen to thepodcast you can drop a rating
or review.
We would absolutely love that.
We always give shout outs tothe people that give us some
nice ratings, but don't giveMimi four stars like Bob did.
Bob, I see you, bob, I stillthink about Bob.
(25:05):
I don't like you, bob.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I mean we like you, bob.
I still think about Bob.
I don't like you, bob.
I mean we like you, but wedon't like you Bob, over to you
Mimi.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
That was all, jonathan, I hate no one, bob,
I'm watching you.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
We're going to end the episode with the most
important question of them all.
Jonathan, I didn't ask youbeforehand which one should we
choose, because I have twooptions.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Go with one.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Okay, I have a good one.
Okay, you guys, I'm watchingBob still and we want you to put
your answer in either thecomment section of the YouTube
video or on our Instagram.
Let us know what you are.
But are you team progress overperfection or team aim for
excellence?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Progress over-perfection.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
No, way, no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yes, I am, you are so aim for excellence Stop.
Progress over-perfection.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Stop, yeah, okay, no, you're right, because you are
one.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Posted is better than perfect.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Right, right, right.
You are one.
I feel like I am a little bitof both Not going to lie?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
No, you're not.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I love aiming for excellence.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I'm type A yeah, you aim for excellence.
You need to loosen that up alittle bit.
We'll have a conversation orepisode about that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
We're going to talk behind the scenes yeah, we can't
let you guys hear this, sowe're going to close down the
episode, so.
I can yell at Jonathan, allright.
Well, thank you everyone forwatching and listening in, and
we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Bye everyone.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Bye Jonathan Howard, bye Mimi Langley.
I can see it, I can see it.
I can see it with my ghost eyes.
I can see it, I can see it.
I can see it with my ghost eyes.
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