How to Empower Yourself: Stop People Pleasing and Command Respect | S2 E8

Answer this week's question...

DON'T FORGET TO ANSWER…
Are you Team Ignore Them or Team Tell Them No?

How to Empower Yourself: Stop People Pleasing and Command Respect 

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Do you ever find yourself wanting to say no to someone, but you just don’t want to disappoint them or hurt their feelings? It happens! 

In this episode of Coffee Social, Jonathan, the brain behind Success on Social, and Mimi, the guru of audio marketing, share real-life scenarios and strategies tailored for coaches and entrepreneurs. Whether you're dealing with unwanted collaboration requests or just need to protect your precious time, you'll learn how to maintain your professional integrity without coming off as a villain.

Grab a cup and enjoy!

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
We go through 3 common scenarios.
: Someone wants to collaborate but you just really don’t want to…
: Someone who just connected with you wants to hop on a coffee chat via Zoom and you’re not really excited…
: Someone is always trying to get free information in the DMs w/o ever paying for i

DON'T FORGET TO ANSWER…
Are you Team Ignore Them or Team Tell Them No?

DID YOU LOVE THIS EPISODE A LATTE? 😂
Give the podcast 5 STARS & write an awesome review! It helps your hosts so much! 

PS: Mimi loves stars

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Keywords
How to say no professionally, Setting boundaries in business, How to turn down a business request, Work-life balance tips for entrepreneurs, Creating personal boundaries at work, The art of saying no politely, Why setting boundaries is important for mental health, Self-care strategies for entrepreneurs, How to prioritize your time in business, Saying no without burning bridges, Boundaries in business, personal boundaries, saying no, work-life balance, self-care, mental health

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All you need to say I'm sorry, no, doesn't fit my
schedule right now, it doesn'tfit my timeline right now, it
doesn't fit what I'm doing rightnow.
It's Coffee Social, the podcast, all about social media and
business.
And now here are your hosts,jonathan Howard and Mimi Langley

(00:20):
.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Well, hi everyone.
Hello, mimi Langley, it's sogood to see you today.
It's so good to see you in yourdark coffee.
What are you drinking?

Speaker 1 (00:33):
It's not dark.
My cup is silver on the bottom.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Oh wait, so the bottom is not really coffee.
Well, I'm confused.
The bottom of the glass issilver.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
I can't tip it far enough.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Don't tip it, please.
You'll hurt your fancyequipment.
But we hear the gulping whichASMR See it's light.
Oh my goodness, you guys wehave to try to get through this
episode in like seven minutes.
So, jonathan, stop sipping.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm done now.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yes, I'm ready to go.
You guys, this is going to be ablast in the glass.
I'm just telling you, Jonathan,this episode in particular.
I feel like you're going tomake me laugh through every
scenario.
So we're basically talking.
We're not sure what the titleis yet, but we know the premise
is how to say no.
No is a complete sentence, noshould be enough, right, and I

(01:24):
know a lot of people strugglewith it because we just don't
want to hurt people's feelings.
And so we're like, let's justhave, let's just have an episode
on it.
Oh my gosh, See, we're alreadystarted.
So I have three differentscenarios and I want Jonathan to
you know, obviously go firstand then I'll kind of tell you
how I've done it in the past.
But real quick, do you want totell people who you are?
Can you do it in like 15?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
seconds or less?
Sure, Absolutely.
My name is Jonathan Howard.
I'm the owner of Success onSocial and I help successful
female coaches reach their idealclients by developing their
signature style.
Over to you, Mimi.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Okay, well, hi, I'm Mimi Langley.
I teach women in business howto utilize social audio, aka
audio marketing, like LinkedIn,audio Clubhouse, all of them.
It's a great way to reallystand out from the same old,
same old content that we're usedto seeing.
So, uh, okay, jonathan Howard.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Okay, mimi Langley.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
We have to take this seriously, okay, people are they
need answers because you don'tsay no.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
I really scared a lot of people.
I will provide them with theanswers.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Okay, cause if not, you'll be hearing about it later
from me.
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
You guys see, that's how I was.
I was being very strict withhim Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
I'm very serious will DM you out of the blue
sometimes and be like hey, Italk about this, you talk about
that, I would love tocollaborate.
Or maybe they've been followingyou for a long time and they're

(02:47):
a fan and they want to workwith you.
Okay, so they ask you, but youjust really don't want to do it.
But you don't want to be mean.
You still want them to like you.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
I'm sorry, no.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, but how do you answer it?
Is that literally?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
all you say I'm sorry , no, that's all you need to say
.
I'm sorry, no, it doesn't fitmy schedule right now, it
doesn't fit my timeline rightnow, it doesn't fit what I'm
doing right now.
I have other things going onthat are more important than you
, or I don't give a rat's assabout what you're doing.
I don't want to work with you,whichever one you want to do,
but the answer is no, and Iwouldn't recommend the last one.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Obviously let it come out of your mouth the way that
you would say I've had peoplelike I know people.
Not I have.
I know people who use ChatGPT togive an answer Whatever you got
to do no, but for me I'mactually like, when you were
mentioning your schedule, I'mthe same way, because usually,

(03:46):
like I am all about routine andI things my, my calendar fills
up pretty quickly, so there'snot really a lot of room for
extras, I mean, unless it's likea really big extra like Oprah,
like okay, oprah, I'm movingeverything off my calendar for
you, or Taylor Swift, but youknow what I mean.
So, yeah, I like the whole.
You can always bring up thatyour schedule is just a little
bonkers right now.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, too much going on.
Sorry, that's not my focusright now.
Whatever you want to do, anddon't lie, hey, that's a good
one too.
Yeah, don't lie about it, Justtell them what's going on.
Yeah, I like that.
That's a really good response,though.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Sorry, it's just my focus right now, you know.
So, okay, let's go on to thenext scenario.
Gosh, we could probably do thepart two of this, like you guys,
if you want more answers.
Come on, we're already at fiveminutes.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
So someone I'm thinking aboutLinkedIn when I wrote this

(04:45):
someone just connect, someonewho just connected with you.
So I'm thinking LinkedIn, butit could be anywhere.
They want to hop on a coffeechat which, if you've never
heard of that before, it's justthey want to like talk with you
like over zoom chat, kind of getto know one another.
How can I help you, how can youhelp me?
Blah, blah, blah, but you justdon't want to do it.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
No, they want to pick your brain.
Pay me.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Is that really what you've experienced?
Because I've had some horrorPay me.
I have PTSD from previouscoffee chats so I don't do them
anymore.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, no, thank you.
I'm sorry, I'm not interestedright now.
If you need to pick my brain.
You can pay me.
Here's my paid link.
I send people my paid link.
I have a paid scheduledappointment link.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
Okay, let's just pretend for a second, because
not all coffee chats are to pickyour brain.
I really do think that peoplejust it's like a part of
networking, like they just wantto like say hi, introduce
themselves.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
You know, we're face to face kind of, or virtually
face to face Network with mefirst on the platform.
Okay, that's my answer Networkwith me first on the platform
and then, if it goes somewhereon the platform and it's not
just a pitch, then we can talk,because that's the other thing.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
They could just be doing it to pitch you.
And that's what gave me PTSD,because I'm not kidding you.
Way back in the day, I rememberI would get on a ton of coffee
chats because I'm like, well,this is what everyone's doing,
so I need to do it too.
And it was like one after theother.
I'm like this is just wastingmy time honestly.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Okay, very good, set up a paid link if they want to
book time.
No, we're going to talk aboutthat in the next one.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Okay, okay but in the next okay.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
But yeah, for that one, for me.
I just I'm honest with them.
I because of previousexperiences, but I would love to
still get to know you throughthe DMs.
That's what I do, Okay.
The last scenario Okay, Someoneis trying to always get free
information from you in the DMswithout ever paying for it.
So when is enough enough foryou?
How do you approach them?

Speaker 1 (06:43):
for it.
So, like, when is enough enoughfor you?
Like, how do you approach them?
Two questions is enough If I'vegiven you two questions, two
answers to questions and I givefairly significant information
when I'm providing the you knowanswers to questions.
So I would say two questions,and then I say you know, at this
point it's time for you to geton a call if you want more
information, and I send them thelink to my call, and I have a

(07:07):
30-minute call that's veryreasonable in price.
I think I have one that's $79.
So that's what I would do.
Now, here's the thing, thoughand I know we talked about this
a little bit Giving an answeryes, no, or get out of here, no
matter what that answer is it'sstill better than ignoring them,

(07:32):
because you never know whatthey might come back with.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
You don't want to like, not like burn a bridge,
but again, you want it to be.
I agree with you 100%.
I always respond, even if ittakes me a day, because you
don't have to respond right away.
Away, like, you can give it 24hours.
Like don't think that they'relike waiting by the phone for
you to say something.
I mean, they might be well,okay, they might be, but but
yeah, you can take some time.

(07:54):
Okay, you can take some timeand really think about it before
you just jump, jump intowhatever um make sure it makes
sense.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Make sure it makes sense for your business.
Number one, Like if it's acollaboration, if it's, you know
, picking your brain or whateverit is, don't do things that are
out of alignment with who youare and what you want to
accomplish in your business.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Well said and we're going to leave it at that only
because this is a micro episodeand I Jonathan is just spilling
the gems, as always.
I've said that to Jonathanplenty of times.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
If you are enjoying what you're listening to or
you've enjoyed our otherepisodes and you haven't given
us a rating yet on iTunes, onYouTube, wherever you can give
us ratings Spotify OnlyFans makesure you rate us a five.
That's a five because we don'twant Mimi to cry.
She wants you to get thereviews in people.
Get the reviews in All rightover to you, mimi.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Okay, we're going to end it with the most important
question of them all and forthis episode.
The question is are you teamignore them or team tell them no
?

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Tell them no.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Tell them no.
Tell them no.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Tell them no.
Tell them no.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
All right, you guys, thanks for listening and
watching.
We'll see you in the nextepisode and don't forget to
check out other episodes that wehave on Coffee Social.
All right, bye everyone, byeJonathan Howard, bye Mimi.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Langley Cheers Outro Music.