The PK Diaries: What It’s Really Like Growing Up in Church Culture

What does it mean to grow up in the church while trying to discover who you really are? In this deeply personal solo episode, Erica Rawls opens up about life as a preacher’s kid, the pressure to be perfect, the unspoken rules, and the quiet rebellion it often sparks.

From questioning what makes someone a “sinner” to redefining faith on her own terms, Erica shares real moments from her teenage years, her journey through college, and the healing power of honest conversations.

This episode is for anyone who grew up feeling like they had to hide parts of themselves just to belong. Whether you’re a PK or simply someone trying to reconcile your faith with your identity, Erica reminds you that grace is available, and you are not alone.

☕ What You’ll Hear:

        •       What it means to be a PK

        •       Identity, rebellion, and early faith struggles

        •       The impact of church culture on self-expression

        •       How questions lead to growth and healing

        •       A powerful call to create space for grace

💡 “You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be real.”

🔗 Sponsored by:

TOCH Construction • Dirty Dog Hauling • Movers For Me

Allstate Insurance – Rob Shaw • Chavis Law Firm

💼 Powered by The Erica Rawls Team

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Episode Transcript

Erica Rawls (00:00):
Hey y'all, we need your help.
We are building an amazingcommunity on Coffee with E
platform, youtube channel.
We would love nothing more thanto have you join us.
We're looking to have athousand, at least a thousand
people join our community, oractually less than a thousand,
because we have 632, I believe,as a recording of this.
So share it, spread it.

(00:21):
We're building something greatand I would love nothing more
than to meet you in the comments.
Ok, this is for all the PKs outthere that are struggling with
trying to figure out who theyare becoming, with the fierce
feeling of everyone is lookingat you.
I see you because I once wasyou, so let's talk about it.

(00:45):
So in today's episode of Coffeewith Thee, I grew up in a
church family on my mother'sside.
Everybody was part of thechurch.
We grew up ever since I canremember.
I don't remember a time notbeing in church, and that's a
great thing, because I dobelieve that I am a Christian to

(01:05):
this day and I believe that Ihave a lot of values and the way
that I actually choose to livemy life has a lot to do with
Bible principles.
So I'm grateful for thosethings.
However, today I want to talkabout the challenges of growing
up as a PK, and if you don'tknow what that is, you're going
to know.
Just stay tuned, just stay,just walk along this journey

(01:29):
with me.
So it wasn't until I was about13 years old.
Why 13?
It was just so vivid.
I remember being in church andI was starting to like boys and
trying to figure out why theydidn't like me.
You know, that age is soawkward and weird and it's just
like ugh, right?
So he intentionally, at leastfor me, because remember, if you

(01:51):
follow along with me, churchwas the only place where I
actually saw people that looklike me in one whole place at
one time, right?
Otherwise, I went to apredominantly white school, so
church for me was like ooh, okay, I went to a predominantly
white school, so church for mewas like Ooh, okay, I get to go
to church, I'm going to lookreally nice Cause I want this
boys to like me.
And it never happened, y'all.

(02:12):
But that's the story for awhole other day.
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(02:33):
the job done.
Now let's go back to theepisode, however.
Going there every Sunday waseyeopening for me because not
only because of me, you know,seeing people that look like
myself but also because I had towhat people perceive to be act
a certain way.
Now, if you follow along withme again, you know that I'm not

(02:53):
one to like to fit into a box,and I actually would like to
give credit to that of the waythat my parents raised us all of
their daughters to beindependent women.
So for someone to tell me I hadto act a certain way, I was
like, hmm, nope, I'm not goingto do that because I know that I
am Erica and I am here for adifferent purpose not to live my

(03:19):
life the way that you choose to, but the way that God has
choose live my life for me.
So that was a challenge for mefor a very long time.
So just imagine being ateenager trying to figure it all
out.
You know, for women, you knowyou're growing into, you're
maturing in different areas andthings are happening to your

(03:40):
body and in your mind and it'sjust like, oh, it's a whole mess
.
It's a mess.
And then, to compound it, beinga PK's, child, preacher's, kid,
um, and trying to figure outwhere you fit in the world.
So, of course, you're in thechurch atmosphere and everyone
wants you to be an evangelist ormissionary, or to be a preacher
, or to wear the long dressesand don't wear the makeup,

(04:01):
because Pentecostal hello, who'swith me?
You don't wear makeup, youdon't wear pants, you wear your
nice hats and you wear your bareface and you come in with your
tight stockings and it's hot,doesn't matter if it's 100
degrees, you're wearing thosethings.
Why?
Because that's the way that wego to church.
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Now back to the show.
So, of course, to me, as I gotolder, I would say like in high

(04:44):
school, I started to be defiant.
Now, if you all were defiant, Ineed you to say so too, because
I know I'm not the only one.
I would challenge my parentswear the makeup.
And, fortunately enough, I willsay this I am so grateful for
my parents because they weren'tas conservative as most people.
I would even go as far, as Iwould believe our church, where

(05:07):
we were raised, are probably themost flexible, if you will,
when it came to how we came tochurch.
We were considered to be theprogressive church in our area,
so I am grateful for that.
And yet I like to wear makeup,so heavy makeup wasn't a thing,

(05:30):
and I knew that that wassomething that I truly enjoyed
doing.
Not wearing stockings to churchwas being defiant.
I mean, just think about that.
And then just wearing skirtsthat were above your knees, oh
my gosh.
And don't even think aboutwearing pants.
I did those things and itwasn't because I was being
defiant, it's because it was whoI was and I was trying to show

(05:53):
at that young age, not knowingwhat the term was I was helping
those see that it doesn't matterwhat you have on the outside,
it matters what's in the inside,whether or not that you believe
in God and he is your savior.
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(06:16):
going to be your ultimateinsurance company.
Thank you, rob Shaw, withAllstate Insurance.
Now back to the show, so movingright along, going to college.
It was a hard time for mebecause if you're a preacher's
child, you know that one of thethings they teach you is you
have to save yourself formarriage.
You have to save yourself formarriage, and I would see a lot

(06:39):
of PKs that didn't do that thing, and I always thought that.
I thought that they were verybrave and yet they were looking
to find themselves, and I alsowondered why that was.
Was it possible that thepreacher's kid ended up pregnant

(07:00):
because they were seeking lovefrom their fathers, who were
pastors?
I mean, this is something thatwould just go through my mind,
because I do know for a fact.
There's a lot of girls that Igrew up with that did have the
love from their fathers and yetthey still ended up pregnant.
But that was one of thequestions that I always had.
The other thing was why didsome people choose not to call

(07:24):
Jesus like be what we callsinners of the world?
And then you think about thatterm?
Sinners, right.
If we're not acting what weperceive to be a holy life, then
that person is perceived to bea sinner.
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Now back to the show.
And yet I know what the Bibletold me and tells me to this, so
I struggled with that question.
So, as a preacher's kid, ifyou're watching this, do you
struggle with that too?
Like what is it to be so-calledcenter, living in a world that

(08:32):
is filled with so many differentthings, just chaos around you,
and yet you feel as though youare living in a space where you
are giving it your all.
God is the center of your life,and you may like things that
are of the world.
It's okay if you feel that way,because I felt that way too.

(08:55):
So these are the conversationsthat I always would have with
myself as a young person personwould always be afraid to talk
to my parents about even myfamily members, cause, remember,
I grew up in a church family.
So if you feel like that,here's something I want you to
share with you.
You are not alone and you'reable to have those conversations

(09:15):
with your parents.
I challenge you to have thosewith your aunts, with your
uncles, with your friends,because one thing is that
healing starts there, and theymay have the same questions too,
or they may even say well, Idon't know why we're doing it,
we're doing it because that'sthe way I was raised to do.
It Doesn't mean it's the rightthing to do.
Or if you have questions about,hey, I'm feeling this way and

(09:37):
it may not be of God and maybeof the world, it doesn't mean
I'm going to go to hell.
No, because you're human rightand we all have free will.
I say read your Bible, findfriends, find family members.
That's going to be able toguide you, because I believe
through those teachings andthrough biblical principles,

(09:57):
you're going to find the answers.
And it's okay if you mess up tofind the answers.
And it's okay if you mess upbecause I know I have.
So the fact that you're goingto mess up, it's okay.
It doesn't mean that you'regoing to be condemned and that
you're going to have a scarletletter or you're not worthy of
anything in life, because that'snot true.
I'm here to tell you thatthat's not true.

(10:17):
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Now back to the show.
Why am I having thisconversation?

(10:38):
Because these are the thingsthat I used to think of when I
was growing up and I wishsomeone had this conversation
with me.
It's okay.
If you don't feel like you arefitting into a community or a
culture the church culture youwon't be the last one and I
promise you, everyone around youthat's your age is going
through the same exact thing.
So find a safe space, and forme it was Bible school, and it

(11:01):
was also finding friends thatallowed me to speak my peace and
not be judged for it.
Those are the people that aregoing to help you get through
your challenging times.
You're watching.
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(11:22):
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Now back to the show andultimately, remember grace is
God's unmerited favor and Ibelieve if we give everyone

(11:46):
grace, the world would be such abetter place.
So, from me to you, I'm sharingfor you, I'm rooting for you.
You got this.
Remember there's only one youin this world and you only have
one opportunity to live it tothe fullest.

(12:07):
So why not?