Gay Dating Unhinged 🤪: Navigating Gay Dating's Ups & Downs | Episode 15 - Coffee with Gays™: Every Sip Is A Story

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're going to be the loud ones.
We're willing to speak out.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm not politically correct.
If you want the truth, I'llgive it to you.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
We're going to start having this wine.
Maybe we'll show some truecolors.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to Coffee with Gays.
I am not your host, butpartially your host.
I am Adam.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
I'm Ryan and I'm Blaine, and today's episode is
Gay.
Dating.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Unhinghinged, so we're going to talk about it and
we're really excited because wehave an announcement.
Uh, we wanted to do this a longtime ago, but we're we were, um
what do you call it?
Like handcuffed, uh, by aprevious relationship of a cast
member, and now adam is single,so he's ready to talk about

(00:47):
dating single and out in thewild and you're dating and
that's pretty much all we'veever heard about for like the
last three weeks so let me saythis I, I, I, I loved my last
partner.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I would never say anything bad about him.
I loved him to death.
But we came into realizationthat we had differences and some
different stuff.
We needed to work throughthings in our own personal lives
and we figured it's best topart ways and to figure our
lives out.
And we loved him too.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Everybody loved him Really more than you.
Yeah, it's actually a nicestory.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
My mom loved him Really more than you.
Yeah, Everybody.
It's actually a nice story.
My mom loved him.
Oh yeah, that's true you saidit in Florida.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Your mom will take him.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I wish the best for him.
I still worry about him butloved him to death and I hope
everything in life works out sogreat.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
So now we're on to your dating life.
You're sounding so mature.
I'm really proud of this.
This it's in there.
No, I know it's in there.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
We just make fun of each other that's going to be
part of this today is like we'regoing to talk about the highs
and the lows of dating in thegay world because everybody
thinks, oh, it's just two dudes,they just just get together and
then you know they date andthey fuck and they do whatever.
But in realness I think thedating world in the gay life is
the hardest of all couplesversus straight, gay, lesbian

(02:17):
you know it's the hardest of all.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
And before we get into our very exciting trivia
game, I wanted to announce ourfirst sponsor that just launched
in the tiktok shop, a brandthat I've been working with all
day, which I'm super excitedabout.
Uh, it's a lightly caffeinatedbeverage, so it's not coffee,
but it's made from the cascarabean, so it's light coffee, so
very coffee, with gaze s andit's a really smell that coffee

(02:44):
though?
no, it's not.
It's not a coffee beverage, soit's lightly caffeinated.
It only has a little pick-me-up.
Yeah, it's just a third of themilligrams of coffee a cup of
coffee would have.
So we like to say, like whenit's like too late for a cup of
coffee, but too early for yourafternoon beer but it still has
alcohol no, it doesn't havealcohol.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Oh, it doesn't have alcohol free beverage so this is
like oh, it's not a seltzer,it's just a slightly.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
You're a contractor like when you're like having
your midday slump, like this hasbeen a really great beverage.
I like it so like we're gonnado a little taste on your laptop
you know what?
And my laptop, um, we're gonnado a little taste test.
What's the first flavor?
The first one is ginger yuzu.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
What is yuzu?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
It's kind of like a lemon.
Oh, this is good, superrefreshing.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
It's not a strong taste.
It has a ginger, but I wouldthink more of a lime, a lemon
lime.
This is like a seltzer waterwith a hint of lemon.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
I really like this yeah, and you know what this is.
Oh, this could make like amoscow mule you should do a
tiktok for that.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Okay, I just literally set up their tiktok
and their tiktok shop this is.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
That would be really good yeah so that's like not
super gingery, but since itdoesn't have alcohol, we can put
alcohol in it to make out whatwe need to be Speaking of.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
You have that.
Okay, let's move on to thepassion fruit guava.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Okay, cleanse your palate.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I don't know Ice cream.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Passion fruit guava.
Cleanse it with our mimosa.
Next up, passion fruit andguava.
Next up.
Okay, passion fruit guava.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Mmm.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
If you like sweet drinks, this would be like a
grapefruit.
Is that what it's called?

Speaker 1 (04:37):
It's guava, it's a very tropical passion fruit and
guava.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
I could get down with this if I was on the beach
somewhere.
Yeah, but it's very it's beachlike it.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
It tastes like very tropical, yeah, beachish and
maybe like a pool, like a poolday or something we're trying to
feel all day.
Yeah, by the way, regardless.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
All of these only have 60 calories per can and
they are all naturally sweetened, so there's no like monk fruit
or anything or any.
No sugar added and they'recalled all day all day g-a-e,
because you can drink it all day, all day, you can and you don't
get like that hype, like I hadtoo many celsius's the other day
and I was like wired no joke,yeah, no jitters or crash no,

(05:20):
it's good.
Okay, now let's move on to thehibiscus dragon fruit.
I think you like this onebetter yeah, which one are we?
hibiscus dragon it's more like atea I like the first one the
best I do love the ginger you dolove.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
I love the ginger a lot.
Yeah, I would buy the gingerall day long, this one it's like
a tea.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
So I think if you're a tea drinker like an herbal tea
drinker, you'd really like that.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
This one isn't something that you would do at a
party.
This is something to calm downwith.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
This might be after the afternoon beer.
Every beverage has to be aparty beverage.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
I mean, if I was laying, laying back, watching a
very like the notebook, I wouldbe drinking this Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
So basically, I think but they're good, they're all
good, they all have a differentpersonality.
I think people will really likeit.
There's a variety pack.
I like the ginger.
You can go on TikTok shop andget all day.
We have a discount runningright now and then, if anybody's

(06:31):
like a creator and wants toorder samples, we'll send
samples and, uh, you can do yourown videos.
Where can they buy that?
Uh?

Speaker 3 (06:33):
you can buy them at all drink all daycom, so you
have to have them shipped.
Can you buy them at likea localthere?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
is also a store locator.
We're at a lot of cool coffeeshops in new york.
We're in intelligentsia.
We're not like widelydistributed yet we're not at
Kroger.
Not at the Kroger yet, not atWhole Foods, not at Sprouts.
We are working on it.
It's the very beginning of thisproduct.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
I know we all got to start somewhere.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Did it go?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
on Shark Tank.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
No, we're not going to need to go on Shark Tank.
I already have some really coolinterest for some really uh,
good distribution down here.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
So I might, yeah, I might do the ginger make my
moscow mule now oh my god okaywe just don't have it in a
copper mug, but because we haveour, you know, coffee with gays
branding.
Um well, the mexican mule,actually, when it's with tequila
oh, ryan, you gave it away thatit's with tequila.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh, oh, I guess we already talked about that didn't
we?

Speaker 2 (07:28):
yeah, you just said I'm gonna make my moscow mule
now, so I had a really fun ideais I want to know what your song
of the week is.
So what, like what song, one ortwo songs, are you feeling this
week?
I'm gonna give it to Ryan first.
What's your song of the week?

Speaker 3 (07:46):
My song this week is called Brave by Ella Henderson.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Can we play it real quick?
Yeah, we can play it.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
And so go, wrecks your heart and the world's gone
dark and your soul is black fromblue.
You still got love to give, gota lot to live for.
We'll pull through.
I tell you you play this song.
I don't know about you, but ifI made a whole playlist, but

(08:16):
that's one song that stuck outto me this week, um, and it's
because I was putting on aconference and so I wanted, I
was looking for a lot of likeupbeat, positive kind of anthems
like that, um, and that one,yeah, that one like really just
makes me feel really good andstrong and loved, and like, well
, you know, and be brave and getthrough it.
So that felt really good.

(08:38):
You listen to that on thetreadmill and start running.
I guarantee you, like you'll,you'll feel, you'll feel good.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Also Lane, I mean mine, is just kind of a classic
Freedom by.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
George Michael.
So where did this?

Speaker 1 (08:52):
venture from.
I've had a lot going on thelast few weeks.
I feel like it lifted over thelast week and it just makes me
very happy.
I don't belong to you and youdon't belong to me.
I have freedom, freedom,freedom, give or what you take

(09:17):
Freedom, freedom, freedom.
I can't believe you're makingme do it.
Oh, the holy blood just turnedit the way.
I am Freedom.
I can't believe you're makingme do it.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Oh the holy pot just turned it the way I am.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Okay, what's?

Speaker 2 (09:30):
your.
So my song of the week, nowthat I am getting back out in
the dating world, is an amazingsong from Carrie Underwood and
it's called the More Boys I Meet, the More I Love my Dog Each
time I'm in.
The more boys I meet, the moreI love my dog each time I'm in.
The more boys I meet, the moreI love my dog.

(09:51):
That you don't have a dog.
Now that I'm back in the datingworld which is the scariest
thing in the world for me,because I hated it, um, back in
the day, and it's getting evenworse now it is I feel like the
more boys I meet, the more I'mjust like, oh god, why am I
doing this?
This is horrific.
So that's where today's topiccame from.

(10:13):
That's where all of this hascome from.
Today, is you know me?
And now in this whole datingworld of gay life it's great do
you think you okay, but I loveit.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
I hate it Also, though, because you just ended
your relationship not too longago.
Did you not want to just waitand not start dating again?

Speaker 2 (10:34):
There was two aspects of that One I look at it as
shit.
I'm 37 years old.
The relationship had its upsand downs.
We had a lot of moments wherewe broke up in between and this
is really sad to say is I justthink that I was, at the end, so
done with it and, in my head,so mentally moved past it that I

(10:59):
was like I'm going to givemyself a week or two and then I
went back out in the datingworld Like I was fine, moving on
with it.
I don't have any hang-ups.
I don't have anything that'sstill holding me back from the
relationship.
I learned what I needed tolearn from it and I want to move
forward and I feel like I am onborrowed time.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
I mean, it's already hard for Stuart Medium to rise
and perform.
Rise to the occasion.
Come on, stewart.
All my sedentafil, though, sohe should be doing pretty good
now.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
All my cialis got flushed down the toilet, so my
toilet's the only thing that'sgot a boner in my place oh, I
guess I had to give him all myviagra I mean, you can get that.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Pretty well, I have a lot of it okay tmi.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
All okay, tmi.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
What if?

Speaker 2 (11:45):
my next future ex-husband's watching this and
is like oh, adam, can't get aboner, I can't get a boner.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
First of all, can we talk about that?

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Can we also not stigmatize using Viagra?
Let's be honest, like everysingle one of our friends does
it, and it just makes for andhonestly, I think most straight
men need to validate it bysaying our friends do it.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Therefore we, you know it's okay.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
No but I feel like straight men could really use a
lot of help and they don't goget it and I feel bad for my
straight girlfriends becausethey have horror stories and we
don't have horror stories, wejust have good sex.
We have thing horror stories.
I mean, maybe you do okay, thatdating world, but of I want to
do a quick little trivia gameand it is titled Would you Date

(12:32):
a Guy If?
Oh, okay, so that's thebeginning.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
This is where we get canceled.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
I thought we already were.
Would you date a?
Guy if he had a piercing on hisface, ryan.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
No, no.
Date a guy if he had a piercingon his face ryan yeah, no, no.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
Would you date a guy if he had a piercing on his
penis?
Ryan you, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,no, because they can also
remove it you're not playing himon the street, just as also
we're saying dating a guy.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
For both, I would say no on the face.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
I don't know about that.
Is this like a nose?

Speaker 2 (13:09):
I don't need somebody that looks like they fell into
a toolbox.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Or a fucking fishing line.
Okay, we're moving on.
This is rapid fire.
Would you date a guy with a lowcredit score?
Yes, no, ryan, no, I have.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
I didn't date you.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
You didn't.
Yeah, I have.
I didn't date you, you didn'tdate me.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yeah, it was a gay handshake.
Well, you know what.
He had a low credit score thenand I did want to go on a date
but I didn't know your financialissues then what he did that
was back then.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
But you know, real quick we could learn as long as
you're trying to recover.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Back then I had a horrible credit score.
I have a way better creditscore now.
People, I okay, real quick, wecould learn.
As long as you're trying torecover, then I'll give them so
hold on, let me go with that.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Back then I had a horrible credit score I have a
way better credit score now andlike, so you passed judgment
because of the credit score andyou have no idea what that
person went through to have togo through that.
Like I will fight.
I had to go through a reallyrough bankruptcy a long time ago
and it had eat, it had eaten,my credits were to disaster and

(14:09):
like, still I'm fighting to getout of that and I'm on the upper
end of that whole thing andthat makes you a resilient.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
It's very true, but it doesn't mean that ryan would
date you, or nor should he haveto.
Okay, moving on and I.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
I also had a bad credit score at one point,
because we're all getting in asituation I know.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay.
Would you date a guy if he wasstill close friends with his
ex-boyfriend?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Really God?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
There's other factors involved.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
We just had this situation happen in our friend
group.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
That's a completely different situation.
They were too close.
That's what the kind of closeis.
No, that's bullshit.
They were still in love close.
They weren't friends close.
My ex Drew and I are stillthere.
We talk all the time.
There is no sexual chemistrybetween us anymore.
That all played out out andthat's all.
It's great and I love drew todeath and I wish nothing for the

(15:08):
best for him and I would doanything for him, but there's
nothing sexually there would youdate a guy let me let me do it
into multiple parts would youguy date a guy that hated pets?

Speaker 1 (15:19):
dogs hated such a strong word Hated pets.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Dogs Hated that's a strong word Disliked.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Didn't like.
Yes, I would, because I knowthat I could change him.
I know that if there'ssomething that's Hold on, I'm
listening, just listen, I'mlistening.
I would want to find the rootof the cause, of why he doesn't
like an animal, a dog, a cat orwhatever and then introduce.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Yeah, I didn't think he doesn't like an animal a dog,
a cat or whatever and thenintroduce.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I didn't think why I actually like what you're saying
, but I don't like the idea thatyou're like, yes, because I can
change him.
Well, but what I'm saying is Ican make him see a different
side of this.
I can make him see that youknow I love boxers and a boxer
is the cutest fucking dog in theworld and there's so much fun
and they're lovable the cutestfucking dog in the world and
they're so much fun and they'relovable and I could put a puppy

(16:08):
boxer in front of him and hewould be like I'm sold, okay.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Would you date a guy who is allergic to animals like
highly allergic, so you couldnever have any animal ever?
Yes yeah, really yes, okay.
I am dating a guy right nowthat is allergic to marshall and
it is really hard.
He has to take allergy meds.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Any allergy shot?

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I don't know if he's allergic to Marshall, but it's
fine, because you don't evenlike Marshall.
I love Marshall, well, that'swhy.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Marshall's never here .

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Oh, marshall's not here because I'm going on a
business trip next week and mymom was here, because it takes a
week to get him back to theplace that he lives at very,
very soon.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Go on, shut up.
Would you?
Here we go?
Would you date a guy who has acompletely opposite diet than
you?
Ie vegan.
Yes, yeah, vegan, vegan diet nomilk, no meat.
Well, you know, we're not vegan.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
so I would try, but it would be very tough for me.
Because I'm a red, I love meat.
And potatoes, dude.
Yeah, I am milk, I am the wholenine yards, Like you, put me on
a dairy farm.
That is what I eat.
Yeah, we know.
So you would so hold on.
Here's what makes it tough isI'm typically the cook, so for

(17:22):
me to have to cook for a vegan.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
I'm actually going to turn back.
I'm gonna say no, okay, I thinkit would be very hard for you.
It would.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
It would be really tough, but I feel like I
wouldn't let that immediatelystop from like dating you know,
the nurse was a vegan and he dida lot of cooking.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
So I gotta say, like he taught me how to cook and
that's the only reason it reallyworks and that's the thing is,
if he was to cook and to teachme how to cook for somebody who
doesn't eat that, then I couldprobably do it.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
I couldn't date a non-cooking vegan, that's for
sure.
Okay, what about would you datea guy if he had very different
political beliefs than you butwas respectful about it?

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Ryan, I've done it all the time.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah, yeah, I'm surprised.
I mean it all the time, yeah,I'm surprised.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
I mean respectful.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
As long as they're respectful about it.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Yeah, I mean that hasn't been something that I've
actively looked for.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, so my boyfriend and I are very different areas
of the political spectrum.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
So here's what's, funny.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
And it's fine, also now that I'm well.
Yeah, this is a tough one youguys don't talk politics.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
You and bradley do you?

Speaker 3 (18:30):
I, I think in this case like I could uh, no, we do,
but like I could reframe thequestion.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Very politically active person, how about that?

Speaker 3 (18:40):
but completely because I feel like I could be
with like different politicallike in the us, someone in like
two different political parties.
But if it comes to a veryspecific person, like someone, I
don't think I could be withsomeone that's in love and
obsessed with trump, like that'snot gonna work, but I could be
with someone that's republicanyeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
You can be with someone who voted for trump, but
not like obsessed.
You couldn't be with MarjorieTaylor Greene the gay version of
Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Let's go into that, though this is going to make a
lot of people hate me.
I will vote for Trump on thisnext one.
It's not going to happen,because I can't deal with
Sleeping Joe.
I'm sure there's people thatare fucking pissed right now as
I say this, but I looked attrump's policies are way better

(19:31):
and I don't give a shit.
He runs his mouth and he's anidiot when he does that and it
fucking drives me crazy, and ifyou put a fucking clamp on that
beak, he'd be a way better.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Oh, yeah, that'd be no hands down if he had shut his
mouth so here's.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
So here's where I go with.
This is like what's, what's?
How do I not get political?

Speaker 1 (19:51):
no, but just, would you date a guy that like was,
like?

Speaker 2 (19:54):
it was like I absolutely love joe biden and I
would say you do your thing,dave, I'll do my thing.
And yeah, because also we canbe respectful about it.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
It's fine, I'll do my thing.
Yeah, when it gets to the polls, we'll see where we land, if
you can be respectful about it,it's fine.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, it's your thing , I'll be my thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
When it gets to the polls, we'll see where we land.
Yeah, if you can be respectfulabout it, I think it's totally
fine.
I think it's when people arejust like you have to think the
way I think, better off.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Can you have a calm conversation with your partner?

Speaker 3 (20:17):
about your differences and a whole nother
topic that needs to be worked onwhether it's politics or
anything else.
It's true, we'll come back tothat later Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Would you Dana Guy if he was?
We have a few of these that arenot in our inner circle but
like, anyway, that was moreintroverted than you and it
affected your social life.
Ryan, we're gonna go with Ryan.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Well wait, you think Bradley's work?
No, but Bradley's super social.
He's very social.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
I'm saying would you date a guy that is super
introverted?
You really liked him.
Let's see, you're really inlove with him, everything.
But he's introverted and hedoesn't want to go out all the
time.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
I say no more, maybe that first day.
Then I learned that and I thinkI'd realize it's just probably
not going to work.
So the answer is no for Ryan.
I knew that so.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
I would, with the understanding of I can go out
without you.
You can stay home.
I'm going to go out, I will.
I will fill my cup up with myextroverted energy.
You can stay home and have anight to yourself watching tv
and fine, yeah, I can, truly.
Yeah, like you mess with thatlike I'm very secure in my

(21:30):
relationships and I think partof it comes into like, if he's
gonna leave me or cheat on me orwhatever, then it's gonna
happen no matter what.
So, like us separate it's fineand then together we're amazing.
I'll I do that all day long.
What about?

Speaker 1 (21:46):
you, yeah, um, I have dated this before and I think
it's really challenging.
I did like the home lifeportion of it, uh, but I think
it became very challenging.
I did go out by myself, butthen it turned out to me being
going out by myself and nothaving like a boyfriend.
So but I I like to go out bymyself.
Like, what I love about mycurrent boyfriend is that you

(22:09):
know, I can go do my thing.
He's not pissed about it.
He does his thing with hisfriends and then we do things
together.
I think that's the perfectscenario so I don't think I
could be with the reallyhardcore introvert that never
wanted so I'll go back to thisis with the introvert.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Extrovert is.
I think that there's two partsof that, like in my past
relationship as shocking as thismay be my, my ex was very
introverted and he did theextroverted things for me so
that I could have that outletand I stayed home a lot for him
to get that introvert side.
So we counterbalance that backand forth and nobody probably

(22:44):
ever done that.
You would know.
I saw it.
Yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
I just I saw it too well and that's well, and like
bradley's also social, but he'salso really good about like,
which I think has been good forme like knowing.
Okay, ryan, it's time to endthe sunday fun day what's inside
?

Speaker 2 (23:01):
anyway, it's ryan.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
We're to cut this off , I know, but we're going to
Point is he helps me find thosetimes where I need to also relax
, because I'm not always thebest at that.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, and you found time to just be together at home
too, which I really like, and Ido need somebody that does that
as well, because I can getcaught up.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
We all need to be grounded by somebody and I think
, because we're all all three ofus are very extrovert Nobody
introverted would want to sithere on this podcast.
I'm going to say that it wouldbe very like like a brat, Like
it's just, it's not, that's nottheir thing.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
It's an extroverted person.
Do you feel like you've beenextroverted your whole life?
Or is that changed?
Don't know oh I've been mywhole life.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I came out with my mom's vagina screaming.
She was stressed out as soon asyou showed up.
Um, you know, I was painfullyshy as a child.
Uh, yeah, we talked about this.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
I was really painfully shy is that why you're
so loud?

Speaker 1 (23:59):
yes, yes, my mom was a homeroom teacher.
My mom was a homeroom teacher.
My mom was a homeroom teacher.
She used to throw all theparties and I would sit in the
corner and all the other kidswere playing and she had paid
for everything and she's like,son, go play with everyone.
And I was like, no, I'm good.
And then I literally was likehaving panic attacks going to
college.
I was popular in high schooland I had like my close crew,

(24:20):
but going to college wasterrifying.
No, not at all.
I was super popular in highschool, middle school.
Yes, you were a football player.
Yes, I was a football playerall the way until my sophomore
year, second grade.
Wait, you played football.
Yes, what did you play?

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Baseball yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
All the wimp sports.
All the wimp sports.
You didn't play football in thefreaking day.
I'm winning money.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
105 degree heat.
I asked my mom when I waslittle my neighbor Patrick
wanted to play football.
He was playing football.
I was like, mom, let me playfootball.
And she was like, no, you'llget hurt.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
No, it's true football, but we're speedos and
touch each other.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
that's what you long that's where the horror?

Speaker 3 (25:05):
you, but on it.
You know, oops, my god, this is, we're gonna get canceled.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
No, yes, I was uh, look, I was when I went to
college I don't know what likesparked to me.
I finally found my social vibeand was able to like meet people
and then I had a ton of friends.
So, yeah, it was great.
But I mean, I had to reallylike snap out of that for sure.
And let's move in to, uh, thedating scene, which are now a
part of and I find it reallyironic that I've been dying to

(25:32):
do this because I've been.
I was dating a ton before I metmy current boyfriend yeah, you
were hey, what tornado?
the tornado we're gonna betalking about that, um, but you
know, I think that there is abig misconception in the gay
world that, um, it's easy tohorrible because we're so

(25:54):
promiscuous so I've been datingnow for probably like two weeks,
I guess.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
So my ex and I broke up about a month or a month ago,
um, so I've been dating forabout like two weeks.
Um, like god it's.
I've had some great dates, I'vehad some horrible dates and
it's it's been roth and it I Ijust sit down and I go back and
I'm like maybe my relationshipwasn't that bad and then I go no

(26:22):
, like we broke it off for areason.
Stick to our guns, we're good.
Um, but it's definitely beenrough.
I went on an amazing date lastweek with this guy and like we
hit it off and I I was likedavin, oh.
And I literally was like, oh,this guy's amazing.

(26:44):
I was like shit, right out ofthe gate.
I got found somebody that'sgreat and then literally was
like, oh, this guy's crazy.
I was like shit, right out ofthe gate.
I got found somebody that'sgreat and then I was like what
are you into?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
and you look like you describe for everybody what
that so anybody, that's not dayslike when somebody says what
are you into?

Speaker 2 (26:56):
it's like are you a top verse or bottom is the
picture?
Let's not be, so top is the onethat's pitching pitching verse.
We'll do either way.
The bottom is catching and hesaid he's a bottom and I went oh
, you're a catcher and rightthere you look at your wedding
day and then you see it all getripped away my god, with you and

(27:19):
dating, I am learning and adamis the biggest fucking sap in
the entire world.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
Like this guy sad sap like you're a sappy.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
I know Like you're like imagining all these guys,
david and I really connected.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
We shared some very touching shit.
We were crying at dinnertogether Like it was amazing,
like I literally was, like thisis an amazing guy.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
I didn't know you guys went to two bottoms on a
date crying there's nothingworse than that.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
That's why you just have to be versed like me, so
you can just switch it up mediumwould stand his job.
Well, you know you've got theviagra.
I don't understand why youdon't use it take 800 milligrams
.
I shouldn't he was cute, though, so I would have thought it
wouldn't super sexy.
We definitely have thosechallenges.
You've got to be compatible,and then you've got to deal with

(28:09):
all the dating stuff, period,like yeah, I mean there's so
many things out there, like whenyou're on it, when you're like
out on the dating apps.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
I mean I have found, like I, I love a farm boy, I
love a cowboy.
Um, I found a lot of them andthey're like, you're too
masculine for me and I'm goingI'm oh too masculine because
there's a thing with tops, topsone very feminine bottom.
They want a submissive femininebottom.
I'm not submissive, I meanmaybe, but I'm not submissive in

(28:40):
the personality wise of this.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
I have a very strong personality and I knew this so,
and that's out there, you, youcan have two strong how am I
phrasing that?
Two strong personalities, yeah,but strong personalities that
are in that traditionallymasculine mindset, I guess.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, I mean, I get that, but there's a lot of
people that are very scared ofthat.
As our current single guy guyis our only single guy, only
single guy now, yeah, um, whatare you using to find guys?

Speaker 1 (29:18):
we've talked about safety on apps before, but, like
, what are you finding successwith?
And I love.
Let's highlight the one appthat I feel like actually has
the best idea when it comes tohorrible, horrible platform.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
So I saw okay, so let me get to this.
I'm on Grindr, sniffies, tinder, facebook dating app.
I know it's crazy and Archer isit.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
Archer, yeah, also, they're not all.
We can't really call them alldating apps.
You call Grindr a dating app.
No, they each have their ownfunction.
I feel like.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Let me also put this out there.
I've been on dates from Grindr.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Even though I'm on Grindr and Sniffies, I'm not one
that wants to hook up withsomebody every night.
If I find somebody, I want tohave some dialogue.
I want to have some dialogue onask conversation.
We may end up going out for adrink and then hooking up and
that's fine, but I Sniffies israunchy, like I didn't realize
how raunchy and nasty that is.

(30:23):
Like, literally, people puttheir Sniffies as an app and
it's it's only web-based.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
It's only a web-based app.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
They put, like I am face down in a pillow, bottoms
up, doors open, come, rail meand I'm like oh, I have to tell
you the first time I saw and I'mnot a prude, like, yeah, I have
done my fair share in the dayand I've done my stuff, but I'm
like, oh, to put that all outthere like that.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
My favorite one, when , uh, I saw snippies for the
first time with by from one ofour friends, because I didn't
even know snippies existed was,um, when it said that there was
this office building.
These guys were in a bathroomin an office building by the
mexican restaurant matitos oh mygod, on the first floor.
It was very specific, in astall on a sunday and I was like

(31:13):
what?
Brexker church?

Speaker 3 (31:15):
gets out.
You can't come over.
There's a church across thestreet raise the church, raise
the cock so what's your favoriteapp, adam, as of now?

Speaker 1 (31:25):
where are you having the most success?

Speaker 3 (31:26):
snapchat snapchat are you back on the snapchat?
I know you're back on thethoughts group.
Is that where you're meeting?

Speaker 2 (31:35):
them.
So no, so no, I don't thinkyou're going to talk about so
this is really.
This is really funny.
So snapchat like I've alwayshad snapchat but I never really
used it and then I got invitedinto this like group of people
that just share a lot of theirnakedness, um, and I put on my

(31:56):
like title of my snapchat.
It just basically says um,dallas gay farm boy and that's
what it says.
So what people are doing isthey're quick adding me.
So if you have somebody that'sa mutual friend, they're quick
adding me.
They're like oh, my god, I'mlike I'm here, or I'm there or
I'm somewhere, and a lot ofpeople are in dallas, yeah, I'm

(32:18):
like.
Oh, hey, let's go right now,let's grab a drink, or, which is
really really funny, um, I,going back to that is no app is
a good app.
There's no apps that are good.
I've never dated somebody thatI've met through an app.
I've always dated somebody thatI've met through meeting
somebody.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
I completely agree with you.
I think meeting people in thewild is the best way to do it.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
It is the best way because I feel like when you.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
You met Brad in the wild right.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
No, everyone, yeah, Everyone.
It's so ironic, ironic, isn'tit ironic?

Speaker 1 (32:54):
yeah, almost everyone I've met, and I, yeah, and I
enjoy it that way yeah I've metsomeone I don't like sitting on
my boyfriend in the wild too.
We were just out of sunday,monday.
He grabbed my hand.
He did yeah.
He grabbed my hand as I waswalking out to jr's and he he
grabbed my well, I had my otherring on, but he grabbed, grabbed
and said are you married?
And I go, that would be thisfinger.

(33:15):
And we chatted for a few secondsand I said, well, I thought
about giving him my number and Iwas like, no, I don't want to
sound desperate, lesson for you.
And then I said you know, we'regoing to go, not to be
desperate.
And I said we're going to go toJR's, not to be desperate.
And I said we're gonna go toJR's my friends have already
gone and I talked to you for asecond.
If you want to talk to me more,I'll be over there and I was

(33:36):
like, oh, we'll see, totallyforgot about it.
And then he came up to me atJR's and I was like, oh, hey,
and then we started making outby the end of it and everything,
and the rest is history.
We went on our first date thenext day we waited a long time
and I really appreciate it.
Yeah, and we dated and went onreal dates for the first time

(33:57):
without like hooking up oranything so yeah, it was, it was
, it was nice it was nice, andall from a guy I met out on a
sunday fun day, so so so you'restill let's go through the
things.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Grinder, I feel like it's just a hookup app, even
though I talk to people and allthat stuff.
I did meet somebody on grinderthat I'm going to date with on
thursday, which he's.
He's a very, very nice guy notdirect at all, but very nice guy
and apparently everybody knowshim.
Yeah, yeah sniffies, umsniffies I'm very scared of.

(34:29):
It's just a very.
Can we not look at the fucking?

Speaker 1 (34:32):
No, I'm not.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Sniffies.
I'm just very scared of and I'mjust I'm worried with sniffies
and I just Adam, let's keep youaway from sniffies.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, I think that.
Yeah, let's do that.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Tinder I like, but I feel like there's a lot of fakes
on Tinder and I feel likethere's a lot of fakes on Tinder
and there's not a lot ofverifications in a lot of these
apps.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
Arch is Arch Arch Archer.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Archer is this new site.
That's awesome because itverifies.
You have that four pictures up.
You have to have a facerecognition and it's like your
phone.
We get the password.
You have to put your face inlike a really tight square and
it's like your phone.
When you get the password, youhave to put your face in a
really tight square and itrecognizes the dynamics of your
face to make sure that your faceand your fingers are the same
person.
Love it to death.

(35:19):
But there's a downfall, one youcan't search far out of your
region, so it's literally theDallas Metroplex and that's it.
I can't go past.
I think, and I may be rollingthis like 20, 15, 20 miles is
that like, unless you'retraveling, like wherever you are
?
wherever you are okay um, andthen, like it says like, put in

(35:43):
like tags, which there's a farmboy tag, and I was like, oh my
god, this would be great, but Ican't search by the tag.
That sucks.
If I want to find a farm boy,even if they're an hour away
from me, two hours away from me,I'll travel for that dig If
they're in my room and I can'tsearch that way.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
I love that I'll travel.
Let me just put the elephant inthe room.
The guys on Archer are reallynot cute.
They're not cute and they'renot cute.
I hate to say that.
I'm not trying to be rude.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
But hold on.
What makes me go?
Why is I'm sitting there going?
Are the people on Grindr,tinder and all the other apps
fake profiles that the appcompany puts up to get people to
engage?
That would be interesting toget people to get online.
Have you ever thought aboutthat?

(36:37):
I've never thought about thatbut because think of it this way
right archers fighting youcould good-looking people on
there, but they're having anunsuccessful like problem,
because when you're agood-looking person you get in
there.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
You're like, oh, but then everybody that messages.
But just wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
But if you logged into archer, it's all a bunch of
fake profiles that you didn'tknow were fake and they were all
good looking people you're likeoh, there's a fucking bunch of
hotties on archer I mean, Ithink that's a stretch.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
I think it's a stretch, I bet you marketing one
and one.
Maybe when they started the appthat might have been the case,
but I think, like most of themare like actual, real people now
, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, Facebook.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Okay, my favorite Facebook dating story of all is
one of our friends who I go tothe nail salon with often ran
into one of the people that runsthe nail salon on Facebook
dating and it's just like hekind of yells at us and he's
very intense.
But uh, I just thought like wow, what a small world and I

(37:37):
didn't know him on the onfacebook dating yes, speedo so
what I've had a lot of successwith is the facebook dating app,
and so I I connected with thisguy.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
He lived outside of Dallas, which was totally fine
with me.
Really good looking guy.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
Is this the East Texas boy?
Yeah, okay, oh, I can't waitfor this story?

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Yeah, I haven't heard it.
I want to hear it, okay.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
So he lives in East Texas and we connected on this
Facebook app and I said you lookreally familiar.
And he was like, hey, you lookfamiliar too, and this Facebook
app.
And I said you look reallyfamiliar.
And he was like, hey, you lookfamiliar too.
And like we chatted for like acouple of days and he was like,
hey, do you want to swap numbers?
I was like yeah, sure.
So we swapped numbers and hisname was already in my phone and
I went wait, how the hell isthis guy's name in my phone?

(38:22):
So then I started scrollingthrough the top of my text and I
was like, oh my gosh, we hadtalked like two and a half years
ago and like we never connected.
So we had texted for like acouple days and then phone
chatted all that stuff amazingchemistry, like great chemistry,
get great conversation.
And I reached out to one of hisfriends and I said what do you

(38:45):
know about this guy?
Like give me the lowdown.
He was like he's a great guy,but he ghosts people a lot.
And I was like what do you meanlike ghost people?
He goes, he'll say he'll comeon a date and then he'll ghost
you.
And I was like oh, that's weirdand I'm like, okay, what do I
have to lose?
Fuck it.

(39:05):
Like you don't show up on thedate, I'll have a date on, stop,
oh fuck.
So so, um, we scheduled a datewhen he was he was gonna be in
dallas, all that stuff.
Because I didn't say it waslike you wanna grab dinner out
by you, I'll come out there,like I can meet you halfway,
like I'm very, veryaccommodating.
So, um, he was like no, I'mgonna come in and meet friends

(39:28):
of mine in Dallas, like just,we'll do dinner when I'm in
Dallas.
So it was a Saturday night.
We were supposed to meet at myplace at 630, go to dinner at 7,
have dinner and then go meethis friends out after dinner,
where were you going to meet hisfriends out at dinner at?

(39:52):
the local bar yeah okay but youare safe.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
You're having a date first on the dinner first.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yes, okay, I knew it was gonna take like an hour and
15 minutes for him to get intodallas.
So at like an hour and a halfbefore it was like I don't know
like five o'clock, I was like,hey, text me when you leave and
I'll like gain some time to behere.
And I had a stress to getdinner reservations because I
was fighting with them.

(40:18):
I'm like where do you want togo?
What do you eat Like?
What are you like?
What are you good with?
What are you not?
And then I found a good placeand then I called them.
They're like and I was like,please do whatever you can to
just make this time work.
I'll pay you, just do it.
And they got me squeezed in.
She was like she called me back.
She's like I got, I got a teamfor two, so I call, or I texted

(40:42):
him and I said, hey, just let meknow when you're gonna head out
here.
And he said, hey, I, you know.
I meant I was just gettingready to text you.
My friend of mine is cominginto Dallas with me.
Like he went through a badbreakup and I was like, oh, no
big deal, rose, before hose, Iget it Like no big deal, brand,
and I said, do you want me toadd him to dinner?
And I'm like oh God, I don'twant to do this, but do we add

(41:04):
him to dinner?
And he was like no, I'm going tojust meet you at the bar and
we'll just go from there.
And at that point so exactly,exactly, note to self At that
point I should have went.
No, this isn't no, no, no,because you're not.
I'm doing a lot of legwork toget this to work, you're.

(41:24):
You're bringing me bullshit atthat point.
So this is where it gets realgood.
Oh, so I was advised bymajority of my friends to do not
go to the bar.
Do not go.
Do this.
This is a big mistake.
Like you are worth more thanthis as it.
It's not like I'm not trying.

(41:45):
I'm gonna give anybody a shotonce, as carrie underwood says.
So I went to the bar and met upwith him and his friends.
His friends were amazing, um,great people, had an awesome
conversation.
Him with me, it was like Iwasn't even there, like he would
have very quick conversationswith me and he would run to go

(42:06):
see other people, or likecountry boy at the big city bar
not in and I literally was like,wow, okay.
So the next chapter of this, Ihear that he knows my ex and he
tells me the dialogue of how heknows my ex and I was like oh

(42:30):
shit.
So then I remember aconversation that my ex and I
had about this guy that he had.
My ex said he dated, butapparently he didn't date.
From the dialogue of all thisstuff and I'm clicking and two
and two is getting to four andI'm like, oh shit, now my ex is
over at the bar.
This is not good.
Like this is going to go downreally ugly.

(42:52):
So they were like, hey, we needto leave.
And I said, hey, I'm just, I'mgoing to go home, like this has
been a great night.
But I got to go.
So I went to the bathroom, cameback, my ex and I had a
difference and I'm not going toget into that.
But I walked and I said, hey,look, this just happened.
I need to leave and the guy waslike, okay, catch you later.

(43:15):
And I was like, wow, there'snot even concern here no, and
then he didn't come in.

Speaker 3 (43:22):
He didn't come in for the day.
Yeah, he didn't come for theday.
He didn't come over the day.
That's what I told him we justwanted to go to the city in
europe.
I don't know why he everbothered going to you.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
You just needed to go to the big city and fuck around
.
So I literally was like wow,this was a complete waste.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
I mean, it wasn't a day.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
No, it wasn't a date this was a grab drinks with your
friends and then you can ignoreme what are you his like backup
in case he doesn't meet anybodyat the bar, then I he'll text
you.
Oh, now I'm ready.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Okay, then I go home and I was hurt by a lot of
things that night that happened.
I was like you know what I'mjust setting up for myself.
I texted him and I said look,it was great meeting you.
You're a nice guy, I thinkyou're.
He wasn't mean to me.

(44:10):
He was a nice guy, he wasn'tmean to me.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
No, I know.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
But I said look what you're looking for, what I'm
looking for.
Two different things.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
Okay, brad, this is the thing.
This is why I told Adam.
First of all, the text stringis very long, so we can't get
into that.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Can I, can I but give me five percent of your time
right and after all the text?
There was no rebuttal, it wasjust a thumbs up.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Thumbs up on this big text, that was this big and
literally I was like I wouldnever in my entire life give
that guy so much fucking creditperiod and look, I get bros
before hoes, I get all thatstuff.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
I can roll with that.
But if shit, will you know,folds down, I would at least
expect like, hey, are you okay?
And no, there ain't one.
But what hold on okay?
Hey, text me when you get home.
I just want to make sure thatyou're you're okay no, so show
some sort of concern.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
No, actually you shouldn't have texted anything.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
I shouldn't know you're saying he should have
texted that.
He should have sent that to me.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Well he doesn't care, he doesn't care, no shit.
So this is learning 101.
I shouldn't have sent anythingNot a thing, especially a text,
and here's the thing.
Hold on, I every time I gotdrunk I was like I'm pissed
about this.
I'm pissed Like this guy's anasshole, like I'm pissed.
His friends are right, hisfriends.

(45:34):
Everything that his friendssaid is one track and one point.
And I was like, fuck this dude,this is a piece of shit.
Yeah, like everything that Icould have wanted
personality-wise amazingconversation 101.
But if you're going to be adick out with your friends, no,
I'm not doing that no, yeah,yeah, he's done that.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
You're not trying to do anything.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
But you've learned that lesson now, because I would
not have done that at all, youknow.
So I was involved at speakingof how to date in a little bit
of a boy tornado before I met mycurrent boyfriend.
I call it the boy tornadobecause I was dating six people
at one time.
It was a lot and juggling thatis like really hard.
But I think also like my adviceon this stuff is this is why

(46:20):
you don't put so much into oneperson when you start dating.
You have to like literally Ilike okay, you got a bunch on
the bench and you bring theminto the game for your dates and
you put them back on the bench.
You keep them all going.
You keep people warm and then,as they become dicks, you kick
them to the curve and you try tofind that MVP and it's just

(46:42):
like a lot when you're doingthat.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Do they know that they're one of several on a
bench?
First of all, I'm one ofseveral on the bench, I know, or
is it just?
Or is it just thatunderstanding, like it's just a
baseline, like assumption, Ithink for most part, like they
don't think I'm.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
I can guarantee you like I'm not the only one
they're dating.
Probably either.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
They're probably not willing to admit it there is no
understanding that you're theonly one until you say what are
we doing?
Are we exclusively dating?
At that point it is a line inthe sand and then you are the
only one.
Until then there is noassumption, because I can tell
you right now, while there isthe assumption that that?

Speaker 3 (47:27):
no, there's an assumption that, exactly that
you are assuming, you should notbe assuming, though.
No, not, it's not.
You're not listening right,you're not.
Not the assumption that you twoare exclusive together.
Until that conversation right.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
So I agree, yeah, I agree with that.
So, like even with with assholeaaron, like right, um, I was
still talking to other peoplebecause I know, like if I put
all my eggs in one basket andthat basket turns over, I'm done
, fuck that shit, I'm not doingthat.
I've learned that long in myday.

(48:03):
But you also and this is thebiggest thing in dating you have
to have respect.
So you can go out and date alot of people, but you need to
have respect for every personthat you're dating if you want
something to move forward withthem.
And that's where that guylacked.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
He lacked respect for me and that's why I was like
you know why you're not arespectful person why would you
even demean yourself by evenlike asking him for, like, any
kind of acknowledgement of yourfeelings?

Speaker 2 (48:34):
I I'm sorry it's embarrassing, but it is
embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
And I literally look back on that and I'm like I wish
the world was different,because it shows how nice of a
guy you are.
But like you know, Most peoplethink I'm a dick.
I know You're that too.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
I never thought that.
I'm a very respectful personand I don't care who you are,
what or whatever, like I willgive you the most respect ever,
but I also want that respectback.
Yeah, and if you don't give methe respect back, if I give it
to you, you don't give it backbut how pissed do you think that
guy would have been if hedidn't even hear from you again?

Speaker 1 (49:11):
he probably would have been texting you because
he's been like how dare that guynot text me?

Speaker 3 (49:15):
I can tell you.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
That's what would happen.
I mean, I'm never you hadn'ttexted him that night and hadn't
texted him the next day andhadn't texted him Like hope you
make it home safe to Oklahoma, Ican dare guarantee you this guy
would have been like probablytexting you, but like hey, you
want to like meet up tomorrow?
Tomorrow, blah, blah, blah.
He had fun with his friends andwas like I can't believe I

(49:37):
didn't get a text from that guy.
Yeah, well, he's off learninglessons.
Yeah, it's been a bit.
You've been out of the game fora bit.
I, unfortunately, have been inthe game for a while.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
So, um, now we can kind of help you and teach you
how to do the right thing butall right, so let's go into the
next part, the do's and don't ofdating on a gay app.
Like what you should andshouldn't do not a gay app.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
I think like, really like how you should go on a date
, like first of all, you shouldhave canceled the date because
you should go to dinner periodright and I agree with that, so.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
So I'm going to go into the app side of this and
this is gay, straight, whatever,like.
There are things when you'repromoting yourself because
that's what you are, you'remarketing yourself out there to
the world, right?
One it looks very good ifyou're verified on any app.
Like, if you're verified, thenpeople know this is the real
deal.
Two, if you're going to postpictures that are just nothing

(50:30):
but you and a group of friends,I'm swiping left all day long
because you're just trying.
One, it's bad for you becauseif you have a hotter friend in
your picture, they're gonna belike oh who's the hotter guy?
tell me, I'm wrong I mean you're, you're right I know like

(50:53):
nothing, so let me put this up.
If I was to put Brett next tome, they'd be like, oh, who's
the hot guy on the left?
And I'd be like, fuck you, whatdo I make?
Well, I don't want to date you,I want to date your hot friend,
brett don't put.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Brett on your profile .

Speaker 1 (51:12):
I just I never had a lot of like alone photos.
I guess I did when I went, youdidn't?
I mean I did when I went toEurope and stuff.
So like I got a bunch, I justdon't have photos taken of me.
I'm not like Ryan, I don't likedo photo shoots all the time we
got a good one of us the otherday with Toyota that's marketing
the 4Runner, put a whole groupof pictures of every car that

(51:34):
they have.
No, at the end there may be onepicture of all of them what
about if a guy sends you a photowith his friends in it?
Same?

Speaker 2 (51:46):
and then it would be like who, which one are you?

Speaker 1 (51:48):
yeah, but if you know , at that point if I know, then
it's fine like if you'rechatting back and forth, hey,
I'm out with my friends.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Here's a photo like how's my day?
That's different.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
So then, that's fine, because then you can kind of
gauge his personality of whohe's with.
But coming out of the gate andI've seen this with a lot of
profiles is there would be agood looking guy in the front
and then the fucking wackadoodlein the back that's the one
you're chatting with the otherthing is is like whack-a-doodle

(52:27):
in the back, yeah, okay so whatare your other big things for?
you, you should, you shouldalways have a picture with you
without a hat, okay, so that wecan make sure you are you?
Don't have hair, because I meanwithout sunglasses, and you
need to have a picture thatyou're smiling in, because I
have had, and there's nothingagainst people that have some

(52:49):
jacked off teeth I mean you kindof do, but it's cute and
endearing farm boy with that gap.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
We love that gap.
So there's a lot of.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
There's a lot of people out there that I've seen
that they'll have flat, likethey won't smile, and then they
smile and I'm like that changedthe whole dynamic or when you're
seeing your glasses it's all ofit like yeah, you need to give
the real you out to the world.
Um, the other thing is, don'tuse ai generated people like

(53:21):
come on, it's ridiculous,because you look at something
that's so good and you may be agood looking guy, but you're
going damn that ai looks waybetter than you.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
God I gotta tell you I follow this guy in west
hollywood that I met probably 12years ago and he's like a
little twinkie thing.
And I mean his photos I justcame across this year.
I haven't seen him in years Ithey're just so filtered.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
It is unbelievable it's horrible dull filter,
because here's the other thingis when you give all these
filtered photos and then you goto sit down for a date and your
date walks up and goes I don'thave that happen.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
Who are?

Speaker 2 (53:55):
you?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm the guy you're on thedate with.
I would 100.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
I'd be like yeah, let's establish dating rules.
So when you go out with a guythis is my opinion you should
set a dedicated time.
You shouldn't have your phoneout and you shouldn't be looking
on.
I used to be that person, oh mygod, because I worked all the
time and now I make sure that myphone is down, face down, and I
do not look at it the whole day.

(54:22):
It's down before your face down.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Yes, yes, really your so.
So let me give a coupledifferent things.
One your phone should be facedown.
One do not disturb you.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Should should be 100% into that conversation, because
I'm telling you right now it isyour one shot, going back to
marketing, it's your one shot tosell this, and if you can't
sell this, you're out Also, likeyou really learn a lot about a
person then and like there havebeen times I've been like God I
can't be with this personbecause this is so painful to
get through without my phone,because this person is boring or

(54:59):
not interesting.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
The other thing is never bring them out, which I've
fucked up a lot of time.
Never bring them out to a gaybar or to meet your gay friends.
One thousand percent.
Before you go on the date withthem.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Stay away from the bar, stay away from the gay
friends, for sure.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Any friends for a while?
I mean gay friend yeah, forsure.
Any for a while.
I mean like right, I dated fora while, but like I wouldn't
want to bring anybody right inhere for years.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
But yeah, it's a whole difference.
We, we waited a few months,even though you guys kind of
already knew who he was.
But, um, I think it's reallyimportant to have your own alone
time.
And then I I learned a lessonmyself too, because I was dating
so much that I was going ondates like multiple times a week
and it was exhausting.
And it was exhausting so likewhen, with my current boyfriend,

(55:41):
I went on our first date and Ijust kind of like dialed it in
dress wise, I mean, I wore ahoodie and converse because I
just didn't care that much,admittingly not because he's not
cute or great, it's just like Iwas going on so many dates.
It was like, well, I'm just likeanother date but he dressed
really nice because it wasreally important to him.

(56:02):
He's the one that grabbed me inWoody's and, like you know and
I did dial it in and that wasour first like little spat is
about me dressing and I was like, oh, I really let my style go.
That's when I got the stylistfrom.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Taylor's style?
Isn't that when we introducedTaylor?

Speaker 1 (56:18):
yes, that's what we interviewed.
Well, you had already startedworking with them.
And then I started working withthem and I absolutely loved it.
Um, but then I went on a datewith him and he was like, oh my
god, you look great.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
And I was like, yeah, it's because of Taylor's style
so I want to know from you whatis, what is your turn offs from
the date?
What, what you go.
I'll never come back from thecity.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Let's see, I think the guys that don't offer to pay
anything or split, like, if Iinsist on paying, then fine, but
if you don't even offer toexpect me to pay for you because
I'm taller atop or whatever, Iam in that scenario.
That's just kind of gross.
So let me pause on that.
We're going to go around withthis.
So if the date was bad, what do?
Whatever, I am in that scenario.
Uh, that's just kind of.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
So let me pause on that.
We're gonna get around withthis, so what?
So if it was bad, what do youdo?
Do you offer to pay, do youoffer to split, or do you wait
for that?

Speaker 1 (57:04):
I'll always offer to split if it's bad okay, what
about you?

Speaker 3 (57:08):
if the date's going bad, yeah, what am I offering?
To split it, or so?

Speaker 2 (57:13):
your options.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
Are you paying, you're splitting or you put more
on them I mean, I think I justalways start with the split,
actually, unless I just knew Iwanted it, like it was good, and
then I can pay.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
I always I.
If it's a bad date, I'll splitit.
Yeah, now, if it's a good date,will you pay?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
I usually will pay if I like, really like them what
about you?

Speaker 3 (57:33):
yeah, I depend.
Literally it's I don't know,it's different.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
I think ryan's a splitter.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
I mean him and bradley use the splitwise app in
their right everyday life yeahyeah, okay, and we still did
that because I love about it,because like it doesn't feel,
like sometimes you're like, oh,that was just five dollars, I
don't need to add it, orwhatever.
But like you can add in thefive dollar thing and you just
put it in the app and put in theapp and then it all counts and
there's no.
For us it works.
It's different for everybody'splay.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
It's very true, it's very true, but I will try to be
like over the top and be likeimpressed if like so like.

Speaker 3 (58:03):
But I other thing, though, because I do like like,
I like giving gifts and I likepaying and doing, you know, but
I I really like doing it just inunexpected ways.
So it's not just like out atdinner, it's just I like getting
a random like gift, like oh, Ithought of you, like you know,
and I said I love and I'm like Iwant to give this to you.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Like, here you go, I like that gift like I the
unexpected I went to really niceso I'm very one.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
if I had a really good date, I'm back.
That date with david was I paidthat?
It was a hefty bill.
Where did you go?
We went to the Italianrestaurant In Antecca.
I don't regret that one fuckingthing.
Even finding out that he's abig old bottom, I don't regret
that at all.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
You kind of already knew that, I agree.
What are your big datingturnouts?

Speaker 3 (58:54):
It's the phone thing.
What about you, adam?
Great um, what are your bigdating turnouts?
Right, it's, it's.
The phone thing is for surenumber one.
Yeah, what about?

Speaker 1 (58:57):
you, adam, it's where you will walk up and get out
it's the not being present.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Yeah, so same thing don't say if it's not being
present, whether that's phone orotherwise and not and I also
will take a step with this iseven not being just on the date,
but not like in the run of itis the lack of communication.
And I'm a very big person.
I was, I sold real estate, I'vedone a lot of sales, I am very
on top of my phone when it comesto communicating, unless I'm in
a group of 800 people, I'm, I'mon top of communicating.

(59:29):
You text me individually, I'mright back at it, um, and I
think that that's the same waythat it should be, but in like
you should be able, because thisis a funny story I started
talking to a guy and he gave himmy number and he would just
snap me random shit pictures ofhimself and random faces and all
that stuff every five minutesand it was like throughout his

(59:51):
day, right?
he's saying it was like I'm justsome guy you met, yeah, and I'm
like you need to read the roomI would be like the guy driving
in his car and he was like I'mdriving snapping.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Oh, I'm at the grocery store snapping and this
was like a text to you yeah, andI'm like calm down you're not
reading the room.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
That's more like I've never on twitter I'm like, I've
never snapped you back, don'tWasn't that a text message
though.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Yeah, like is he sending it?

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
to everybody.
He's just trying to show Adamhe was thinking about him during
the day.
Okay, that's too much.
That's too much, it's too much,but like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
I go back to the guy that I had a good conversation
with where we would bullshitwhile we were driving, Like he
called me like what are youdoing?

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I'm like I'm driving to another job so you look, oh
cool like he's, like you know Igot this, this, this going on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
We'd be like I'm all about phones.
I like I love we know I startedout like that too.
Yeah, read the room.
Or can't press it enough.
Read the room.
If you're texting somebody andthey're not texting you back,
read the fucking room.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
They're not coming to the table okay, I'm sorry, but
you're talking about the guythat sent you the pictures.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Yes, and he still sends me pictures and I don't
respond.
You kept texting the countryboy.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
I know that didn't text me back For two days.
I know For two days and thensaid hold on, Read the room
yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
I know that, I know that, I know that, but hold that
.
I know that, I know that, buthold on the dialogue.
Behind that is I had greatconversation until I insulted
him and then I felt bad, youinsulted him how I sang like hey
you're an asshole.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
No, you didn't insult him and you didn't have great
conversation and he didn'trespond after that.
It was a weird text.
Oh god, it creeped me out.
Okay, I'm glad you learned alesson, adam, but you know, it's
just one guy and he's from easttexas.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Probably wasn't gonna work out anyway so like here's
my other thing, that's.
That's a turnoff.
Like is somebody being tooneedy, like at a restaurant?
Is that a turnoff?

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
what do you mean?
Like they're very highmaintenance I I guess everyone
has their own like differentlevel of high maintenance,
because when I've been goingordering my over tequila soda
splash of grapefruit with a lime.
Some people are acting likethat's high maintenance, but
hold on.
So let me get back to this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
If the waiter messed it up, would you be like this
isn't what I order, or would youlike?

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
no, it's fine, I'll, I can roll with it if it's
really off, I think about hey,you know this isn't what I
ordered, can I?
You know, I actually orderedthis like I don't think that's
respect, that's in a respectfulway to do it.
I'd be turned off by thatkilling?

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I just think it'd be.
They're rude to a waiter thatwould yeah, it's about the.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
How are they handling it like?

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
so.
But here's the thing like butif they were like if they're
like oh my god, ew, can youbelieve?

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
I can't believe they gave me this.
This shit sucks.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Send it back like yeah, they walk out so there's a
, there's a balance and and thisis where I I get very like.
I'm like, if something comesmessed up, I'm like, hey, really
sorry.
Like I actually I come verysubmissive with that.
I'm like, hey, really sorry, Iwanted a Diet Coke, but I got a
Coke.

(01:02:59):
Whenever you get a second, canyou just swap that out?
That's where my submissiveother than the bed, that's where
my submissiveness comes into.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
You're submissive in bed too.
We just said that.
Oh, you said other than.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
If you were in the present and not on your computer
, you would have heard that youwould be a bad date for me.
I was looking at my nose um,but like things like that, like
it depends on you can address it.
It's how you address it.
If you're like I didn't fuckingorder this and that's not what

(01:03:35):
I want, yeah, then I'm like no,I don't want, I don't need that.
No, because that's going tocarry into the relationship.
What about you?

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
talking to you.
Yeah, what's what's thequestion?
I already said, I already saidwhat my turnoffs are on a day.
Yeah, but we're talking aboutif the food comes out.
I already said it.
Well, no, I mean, if they'rerude about it, then yeah, like,
even if it's picky, if they'relike, oh, it's not really medium
rare, it's medium.
I think that would be like on afirst date especially, like I

(01:04:05):
think you have to be very lowmaintenance.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Yeah, because, again, on your first day, you need to
put out your best person.
Even if you're a picky person,you need to drop all of those
guards down and you need to putout the best thing that you can
offer with this, and I think alot of people fail at that no, I
completely there's also.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
I don't know there's.
So there's like what?
What is that version of thebest, but what also is like the
real you?
Are you covering that up and doI need to know that right away?
So like how much of that do youbring away?

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
So that's very true.
You should be able to like look, I'm not saying if you're a
vegetarian, you need to go eatmeat.
I think that if you're avegetarian, you can be like hey,
I'm a vegetarian, like I don'tusually do this, but you know
I'll give it a shot, like giveit a try, why not?
But you can't sit there and belike I'm a vegetarian.

(01:04:56):
How dare you order calamari infront of me and you can't do
that stuff oh, that would beridiculous yeah, you've got
another one, please yeah, you'vegot to be next, you gotta be
next.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
And now with that, so interesting well you got a lot
of dating to do, adam.
We have to find you a man.
I'm really excited.
We'll do some updates.
I think you should really stopbeing so anti-dating.
Embrace it, because I actuallylook, I have been dating now for
four years, since my lastboyfriend, right, and I have

(01:05:28):
enjoyed the journey and I've metsome great guys and obviously
like been disappointed and andthen randomly met somebody who's
now my boyfriend and uh, Ididn't expect it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
You know also, how long is it?
How long has it been already?

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
we're at like five months now, I know that's big.
You know, four months atchristmas, yeah, before
christmas, before thanksgivinghow long have you and and
bradley been together?

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
this is uh.
Well, we met and may will betwo years since meeting.
Three years in may, right?

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
no, two years okay I have now thought outside the box
because I'm like, okay, how doI find?
Because I know what I want fora type of man and I'm like how
do I look outside of the box ofapps and try to figure this out.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
And I think you need to look outside your box, cause
I think your biggest issue isyou have a list and he has to be
a farm boy and he has to belike and he has to be this and
he has to be that, and I don'tthink we all like anybody who
picks anybody.
I don't think it's like theperson they'd so think we all
like anybody who picks anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
I don't think it's like the person they'd so, right
when I was younger my friendsused to laugh at me and they'd
be like, oh my god, you have theheinz 57 list.
Catch up, how you know?
I know that was my nickname,right, so they would have.
They would say, you have theheinz 57 because I would have 57
different things that the guyneeded.
Hot, and yes, I have.
I have come down on that and Ihave changed.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Now there's only seven things One, so here's my
sister's probably watching this.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
So here's the funny thing is and you're going to die
for this.
So I was like, okay, how do Imeet people outside of the
gayborhood here that are moreinto like 90s country, the shit
that I want?
And I used I can't even saythis kind of work.
I used to ride horses back inthe day, uh, back until I was
like probably like 16 ish.

(01:07:27):
Um, so I have been talking tosome people that I know and I'm
like I want to come ride horsesagain, like let me come ride.
And they're like I've gotracing horses and all that stuff
.
You're not going to be able tohandle them.
I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Did they even ask what you can handle?

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
No, Exactly so now I am starting barrel racing
training on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
Oh wow, adam, that's pretty hot.
That should be your new grinderprofile photo, so I'm gonna
start learning to barrel race?
I've never you know there is agay rodeo.
I'll come to your rodeo.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
That's never gonna happen.
Why?
But because I don't.
I don't.
Are we going to the game?

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
rodeo.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
Yeah, we're probably going to but um, so my thing is
is I'm like I need to getoutside of the city, I need to
get that farm life back in mylife because I'm dying for it
and I'm like this is a way thatI can go relieve that need that
I need and I can meet otherpeople and a lot of people in

(01:08:29):
this industry are women, buteven if they're just straight
people, it would be good to meetother people outside of our
eight.
Gay coffee with gays.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
I 100% support that.
I'm really excited, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
And, who knows, maybe they'll have a like a G boy.
For you.
It's going to be a rough night.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
Yeah, I think it's important for all of us to do
that.
I'm trying to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
So you know, I said to the girl I said let's give
this a shot.
I can ride horses, but I don'tknow if I can barrel race.
It'll be a whole other chapterin my life that I want to see.
You can ride cowboys.

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
He's going to be doing that too.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
Well, you know what, Adam?
Good luck to you and yourdating.
Looking forward to it.
Don't fall off the horse.
Don't fall off the horse.
Get back on that horse.
Get don't fall off the horse,get back on that horse, get back
on that horse.
And yeah, I think that that'sit for our episode of Coffee
with Gavs on dating.
Finally, jesus, that was a lot.
I know we weren't allowed to doit before.

(01:09:25):
I know we weren't allowed to doit and now Ryan and I are both
in relationships, but tablesturned, I know, we can now live
vicariously through you and youradventures.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
Thank you all for the drinks and they're amazing and
cheers A little pick me up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
Tune in next time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
It's time for our pick me up before brunch.
Tune in next time to Coffeewith Giggs.
Thanks for being with us,cheers.

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Gay Dating Unhinged 🤪: Navigating Gay Dating's Ups & Downs | Episode 15

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Gay Dating Unhinged 🤪: Navigating Gay Dating's Ups & Downs | Episode 15