Hey Sippers! ☕️🌈 Got your mugs ready? We're diving straight into a not-so-little confession. Yep, a certain incident in Homosassa got slightly tipsy – and it's every bit the glorious chaos you’re picturing! 😂
But we aren’t just here to spill our own beans. We're deep diving into the lively world of Gen Z, and trust us, it's a brew of admiration, confusion, and some serious head-tilts. They’re intense, they’re spirited, and boy, have we got thoughts! 🍵 From the whirlwind journey through pronoun lanes to the blazing fire of Gen Z activism, we're laying it all on the table.
Remember the weight of tales passed from generation to generation? Join us as we journey through our millennial moments, across to the vibrant awakenings of Gen Z, capturing tales of identity, change, and the intricate dance between them. 🌟
With touching family narratives, shifts ignited by genuine heart-to-hearts, and potent platforms (like ours) pulling our community tighter – this episode promises a ride. It’s a toast to the power of conversation, understanding, and the shared laughter that binds us together! 🎙️❤️
Let's chat! Because here at Coffee with Gays, every sip is a story waiting to be told. 💬🥂
Show Notes:
- [00:00] 🔊 Kickoff with Ryan: GenZ vs Gay Millennial views. Ready to spill or sip?
- [01:15] 🥤Why Ryan’s off alcohol – the Homosassa chronicles.
- [02:00] 🥊 Ryan & Adam's Homosassa showdown! Spoiler: Bradley’s sneaky side.
- [06:00] 🎥 The fight video - don’t miss this!
- [06:45] 🌟 Let’s spill about GenZ: The good, bad, & the oh-so-glam.
- [08:23] 📼 Nostalgia trip with @kellymanno: The “Check on your kids” commercials.
- [09:23] ❤️ GenZ’s caring spirit: Strength or Achilles heel?
- [10:23] ✍️ Neo Pronouns debate: Corporate meets LGBTQ+ perspectives.
- [11:23] 📲 Misgendering in the age of social media: The #DylanMulvaney CNN saga.
- [15:00] 🗣️ Call for understanding: Not everyone knows your journey.
- [16:44] 📢 Ryan’s left-leaning view on GenZ's proactive stance.
- [17:43] 📱 The social media game: GenZ leading the charge on TikTok.
- [19:25] 😅 Adam's Forbes faux pas: Blaine won’t let him live it down.
- [25:46] 🌈 The evolving gay acceptance spectrum: Personal tales from '84, '86, & '89.
- [28:23] 🙏 Adam's touching tribute to civil rights pioneers.
- [30:40] 🛤️ Ryan's personal growth journey: From Queer to Christian influences.
- [32:30] 🚪 The Closet Chronicles: Are we all out yet?
- [34:00] 💌 Our message to GenZ: We admire you. Keep the passion, but breathe.
- [42:45] 🎤 Ryan's wrap-up: To our passionate GenZ
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Blaine (00:00):
This bachelorette's the gay bars.
They really piss me off.
Adam (00:03):
You freaking, open your mouth and Prada comes out.
Ryan (00:06):
It's so time between Bargain Bradley and my mate.
Hello everyone, welcome toanother episode of Coffee with
Gays.
I'm your host this week, ryan,and we have Adam and.
Blaine (00:21):
Blaine, here's, everybody.
Hi, ed, hey, everyone, hey.
Ryan (00:27):
And for today's topic, gen Z, the millennial perspective.
So all of us are millennials,different stages of millennial,
but we're here to talk aboutkind of our perspective on that,
topics such as pronouns.
I know Adam has got a lot tosay.
I'm sure we hear from him a lotevery episode, but I think he
(00:49):
will show up a lot for this one.
So I got my espresso in tohopefully get a few words in and
we'll just kind of go throughsome topics here.
But I think first we justwanted to open it up and hear
what are your thoughts on justGen Z impact in society right
now.
Blaine (01:06):
I mean you have your espresso, though I just want to
say you've been sober for acouple weeks now.
Ryan (01:10):
Yeah, I'm going on two weeks.
Blaine (01:12):
You're like on a supercut, post your proposal.
Yes, what led to that?
Ryan (01:18):
Just as a little intro for everyone, there was a lot of
drinking leading up to that.
Bradley and I love our tequila.
If the video isn't out yet, Imay have had a drunk little
brawl with Adam over here.
Blaine (01:31):
Oh, it's not out yet, but actually this is a really
good segue to actually launchthe fight in homo sasa between
Adam and Ryan.
It was really good, funny and Iget it.
Adam (01:47):
I was the sober person in that moment.
Ryan (01:48):
Yeah, that was reverse roles, yeah.
Blaine (01:52):
You want to tell them the story really quick for
everybody, because I just reallyjust want to now.
Ryan (01:57):
Yeah, so in homo sasa, and so I think Blaine was probably
like instigating this, becausewe all know she's trying to get
content.
Yeah, I will say okay.
So we found out that.
So he was sleeping in thegarage room and needed to
redirect the air to make sure itstayed cool.
Adam (02:18):
So, mind you, I was sleeping in a garage.
Ryan (02:20):
So keep going.
So we found out that he closedall the air vents.
Adam (02:25):
I did not close them all.
I closed the ones that wereblowing out very hard to try to
get more air into the garagebecause I was sweating like a
horn church so I was dying and Iwas like we got to get some air
in this thing because it wasrough.
But anyway, I closed the ventsand I said to Bradley hey, I'm
(02:48):
going to close these vents.
If you get hot, just crack themback open like for the bedroom.
But you guys have a lot of aircoming in.
And the day before this brawlwent out Brad was like I agree.
Blaine (03:00):
And then you know Bradley's like shit face and
he's like Adam closed all thevents in the house and I did not
know this and what led to thefight, quite frankly, until I
was in the airport, the like afew days later, because I went
to see a guy in Jacksonville,florida.
That's a whole other story, foranother episode, because I left
(03:21):
earlier.
I did, I know Well, anytime yougo to Jacksonville, but I was
in the airport lounge and it wasa very busy lounge and I was
looking through my videos ofthat day and I found the video
of Brad.
Adam (03:34):
Now, mind you, lane videotapes everything.
Whether you're going to thebathroom, having sex, making a
sandwich, it doesn't matter,lane is going to record it, so
watch what you do around, blake.
Blaine (03:46):
I just want to make sure we have enough content for
coffee with gay.
We need those shorts and thosetiktoks, so please make sure and
follow us on tiktok, youtubeand Instagram reels, because
these things will show up therefor sure at random times.
But I didn't know the cause ofthe fight.
Basically, long story shortRyan comes after Adam, who was
(04:08):
sober, so it was not a fairmatch and Adam took him down
three times.
Ryan (04:14):
I know, I know, I know it was so fair.
But you know, when I was drunk,in that moment I wasn't
thinking.
Adam (04:20):
So the sad part about it was like, hey, you're drunk and
I'm sober, you're going to lose.
And he's like no, I'm not.
And I was like you're going tolose, like what?
And he was like, no, and hejust launches on my back and
just starts whaling me into thehead and I was like, oh God.
And then I had to decide atwhat moment do I lay down, like
(04:40):
Ryan, like should I jokingly letthis go, or should I just
really throw him down?
And I like went on for like I'mgoing to say like 30 seconds,
and then I was like you're goingdown, like WWE, I'm throwing
you down, hold on, you're goingto get hurt, you're going to get
hurt.
Blaine (04:59):
And then I love how Matt just casually shot Saunders in
and is like like just sittingnext to me and we're just both
like by standards.
And then where's Bradley, whostarted this whole thing?
Ryan (05:08):
He started the whole thing .
I guess the bed.
Adam (05:11):
This was on like his third sleep cycle.
Blaine (05:13):
The next day he's like I don't know, guys, I was just in
bed, oh shit.
And I'm like you're youinstigated the whole fight.
You're up there on a stool andyour speedo like, like,
adjusting the vent, say an atomshut off all the vents in the
house and, mind you, the bestpart about this is guess who had
zero air conditioning vents inthe porch, which is where I was
(05:33):
staying.
Me, I had to open the windowsin homosasks order, where it's
humid, hot and everything.
So I just want to say that Ishould, I should have been the
one that was mad.
That's what I want to say atthe end of the day.
Adam (05:46):
Does that mean that you want to?
Blaine (05:47):
hit me?
No, it didn't.
I was pretty sober myself, so Ijust thought the whole thing
was hysterical.
What we'll probably do is edita whole YouTube video for the
for the video and we'll post itwith this one it was you.
I won't post it in this videobecause it might be too much.
Adam (06:00):
I want to do an actual, dedicated part of it was when
Ryan like finally realized likeit was over and he and he got.
He got upset, he kicked the bagof trash which launched all
across the house and I was likewait as his mother walked out of
her bedroom.
And then I come over like alittle six year old like oh my
(06:27):
God he was, literally was acaught six year old.
Blaine (06:29):
He's like he knew he was in trouble, he knew it was time
to go to bed.
And he went to bed and thencame out the next morning
singing Last night we let theliquor talk.
Adam (06:41):
I still love you yeah.
Blaine (06:42):
Yeah, chosen family, chosen family, had a moment I
just had to highlight thatreally fun time in homosasa.
But anyway, back to our friendsand our friends with Gen Z.
So where are we with this?
Where are we with Gen Z?
And like what we think aboutthem.
Ryan (06:59):
Let's start with, like Ryan, like what's the thought I
mean the thought I justrecognizing, first, I think,
millennial and then Gen Z.
So, being a younger, what do wesay?
Nineteen, born in 1990s, 97,2012.
This particular group, like soI think millennial, like we're
coming in at our age and maybemoving to be like predominant
kind of workforce and in societyat this point, and then younger
(07:21):
generation, gen Z, and everygeneration is different, but I
think this one in particular,always, you know, having grown
up, digital and social media,and it's just a very different,
I think, approach on maybe, yeah, approach on how addressing it
could be the climate change.
Or I think the biggest thingthat I think we can talk about
(07:41):
with like gender, genderidentity and pronouns and like
it's a whole nother world evenfor us and like in my career,
even, but being able to kind ofbe a voice just explaining like
a pronoun in general, this iseven a he-him.
And now we look at, I mean Iget confused.
There's just so much newlanguage and things that I feel
(08:02):
like this generation is like arethey introducing and they're
trying to figure out.
Is it like, is that real?
I mean I know this week I meanyou sent me this TikTok neo
pronouns.
I thought I was like keeping upwith some stuff, like I'm at
work trying to like explainstuff to people, and now I'm
like this is and I follow thisamazing TikToker God.
Blaine (08:25):
I wish I remember her TikTok handle, but I'll
definitely tag it in the shownotes and she's a Gen Xer and
she basically talks about Gen X,which I actually really
identify.
I'm an elder millennial and shehas all these funny stories
about how like look our parentsjust like let us run around the
thing they didn't even know wewere home, like, and I kind of
feel like that's the thing I waslike raised in.
(08:47):
You know, I was kind of like Imean my parents were kind of
protective, but like not likeoverprotective, like it wasn't
helicopter mom scenarios.
So I kind of identify with GenZ, kind of with millennials, so
that's kind of the groups thatwe're all talking about.
Adam (09:01):
Gen.
Blaine (09:02):
X, gen X I kind of am more like a Gen Xer, but you
have to realize the Gen Xers arethe ones that raise these Gen
Zers and I think because theywere kind of, like you know
these forgotten and I mean GenXers were raised by the boomers
who are like sitting theresmoking with their kids and,
like you know, like letting themrun around malls and like don't
(09:23):
know where they are and likeleaving them in cars there's no
seat belts, like you have tothink, like no rules basically
for the Gen Xers, and then, andthen with their kids, they're
really like focused on, likethese kids and like raising them
in a certain way and it'salmost like, from our
perspective, they become likevery like spoiled.
But I do think because they'vegrown in a digital age, they
(09:47):
have so much knowledge and myperspective is they do really
care about a lot of things.
I mean a lot of things.
I think it's their Achillesheel, I think it's their biggest
no hold on, because there's alot of Gen Xers.
Put this on Tiktok for a secondand I can tell you there's a
lot of Gen Zers.
They can call me an old man,because I've been called an old
man a lot and I get it, but I dothink that they have a lot of
(10:11):
causes that they really love andfeel strongly about.
I don't think they know how totackle it and I do appreciate
the passion that they havebehind it, but I don't think
they know how to make it a realcause and what is important to
bring forward.
So, like the neo pronoun thing Isent you is a great example.
As an executive at a company, Iwas brought with a bunch of Gen
(10:32):
Zers that were like oh, wereally need to have pronouns in
our email signatures.
And I was like I'm an executivethat talks to people outside of
our organization from all overthe country.
Personally, as a game man, I'mjust not going to do that
because I don't need thatconversation to happen.
It's a business conversation.
I don't know this personpersonally.
(10:52):
I don't need to have thatconversation personally.
So for me, I don't believe inthat.
What do you think?
Ryan (10:58):
That's another one that I'd say I've learned a lot more
about and I don't think it needsto be like I'm going to go have
a conversation about mypronouns, but I'm like fine with
putting in my signature likehas it after my name, because
now I know like if I'maddressing and talking and
having the conversation withsomeone, I know like how to
address them.
Blaine (11:17):
But if someone called me a ma'am and I know I can be a
little feminine sometimes- Doyou know how many times I've
been on the phone Like?
Adam (11:26):
I can't even count.
And they're like ma'am, wouldyou like, or me.
Mr Tube, manor and that's thefunny part about it and I'll
never forget.
Matt and I were in a car and Iwas talking to some sort of
customer service and they'relike oh well, ma'am, would you
like this?
And Matt busted out, laughingLike he was like this is
(11:48):
hysterical as shit.
And I was like ma'am, I'm not ama'am, I'm a surer.
And she was like oh, can Ireally hung up that conversation
and call it another company?
And they did the same thing andI was like oh well, ma'am,
would you like?
And I and this is where myposition gets in with this is
like Gen Z right now would beoffended by that.
(12:11):
I laugh at it.
I'm like haha, how like I lookat their perspective if they
thought that I had a morefeminine voice, whatever, or
they just couldn't hear me, orwhatever, and they just roll
with it and they made a mistake.
Do you think that I lose sleepover it?
You know it wasn't on purpose.
It wasn't on purpose.
(12:32):
Gen Z, though here's my problem.
There's a Gen Z and I'm goingto go right out of the game with
this.
A Gen Z would stop that and belike how dare you come out and
say that I'm a female when I'm amale, or vice versa.
Blaine (12:47):
Whatever it is, it's called misgender and actually
see it.
And the CNN actually justrecently had to do a formal
apology for misgendering DylanMulvaney and they did this very
dramatic formal apology for it.
Adam (13:03):
If this is the shit that you people have to worry about
in your life, then go get asecond job.
If you literally are worriedabout, if you're being caught a
hand here or her, or an it whator whatever, then you don't have
enough work in your life andyou don't have enough
responsibilities.
And this is where I'm going togo in with this, because I'm
going to fire right off of this.
It is your parents fault, right, it's your parents fault.
(13:25):
Your parents have made you somuch in your life that when you
played soccer and you lost thething that gave you a
participant ribbon because youhad to get something to feel,
something, you sucked.
My father said to me and I'llnever forget it I played
(13:46):
baseball and we won or we lostthat game and they gave us a
participant ribbon.
And my dad said you know why?
You're still a loser.
You didn't win first place, youdidn't win second, you were a
loser.
So the only thing that you cando is to grow and get better and
learn from it and move forward.
Blaine (14:07):
I'm glad you stayed on time with that one.
For sure I do agree with you onon on this point, and I think.
But what I want to do is do alittle translation for Adam here
.
Let's say it was a part of ourlast episode was about chosen
family and you had a moment ofbeing choked up about one of our
really dear friends.
Let's say that person haddecided to transition and had a
(14:31):
chosen pronoun.
I believe that you wouldrespect the pronoun, would you
not?
Adam (14:36):
So so, so hold on with that.
He came to me and said hey, Iwould like to be a female Right.
So so how do I stay on topicwith this?
Blaine (14:47):
Yeah, stay on topic.
Adam (14:48):
Because he has a penis or vagina.
Ryan (14:50):
That doesn't define it.
Blaine (14:51):
Just say, just say like that really person that's close
to you, because what you'retalking about is customers and
with people, and then I agreewith you.
Adam (14:59):
If he said I want to be a her, so I'd be like her.
But here's the deal If he iscalling into a customer service
or yeah but I'm not.
Blaine (15:09):
I'm talking about your personal relationship.
Adam (15:11):
So then fine, I would, I would call him a her.
What the thing is Like.
You have to realize when you'redoing this sort of change,
there's going to be people whoare not going to know, who are
not going to understand, who arein their older ways, People who
(15:32):
are 80 years old today don'tunderstand the gay life.
Let me say this Don'tunderstand the gay life of Adam
Bailey.
And the gay life is the oldnews.
Transgender is the new news,right For the old news of being
gay.
They don't understand.
So if they take offense toanything that I do, I understand
where they came from.
Blaine (15:53):
The.
My issue in this, as thecentrist of the group here flies
and this is what I trulybelieve about, regardless of
your political stance, quitefrankly, on this is, I do think,
because you personally know aperson, I think that you would
respect their pronouns, like ifthey said like this is what
really matters to me, adam, andyou care about the person and
(16:15):
you would respect the pronoun, Ithink, where Gen Z gets it
really wrong and they push it,they expect the poor barista at
Starbucks to look at them and,without any other kind of like
anything, to not misgender them.
They take super offense if theydo and it's like, oh, you've
(16:39):
misgendered me, what?
Ryan (16:40):
do you.
I partially agree with somethings here, but I see some
other sides too, because I'vemet Gen Zs that are, I feel,
like, mature and smart and aregoing to recognize that and say
yeah, but say someone, you knowthey, maybe they refer to them
at their Starbucks and someonedoes the misgendering or
whatever, but they should be,you know if that and kind of
(17:02):
choosing.
When are these opportunities toexplain it and learn?
Like it's not, like you know,some maybe go straight into that
attack defensive mode, butthat's not the right thing to do
.
I think I've met Gen Zs thatare both.
Some maybe get really offendedimmediately and attack, and I
think others are like I need tobe able to bring a you know,
(17:22):
bring along, invite people intothis like conversation of what
that means and that may nothappen in your five second
exchange at a Starbucks,Probably not and choose, you
know, choose your battles in away.
Blaine (17:36):
Hold on, hold on, let me get the out of belly.
Do you think, though, maybebecause social media and there
are a lot of Gen Zs have largesocial media platforms they were
on tick, they were early TikTokadopters they probably have
larger platforms.
Do you think that maybe theyhave used those platforms to
kind of amplify the loudervoices more?
Ryan (18:01):
Yeah, I mean there's the opportunity from those platforms
to do it, which is both areally great, free, exciting
thing, like kind of a democracyof communications, but at the
same time it opens it up forpeople to have voices and large,
large followings, just like Imean, any time in history.
But I think this particulargeneration has that platform to
(18:22):
use, to talk to you know, getwhat they think out there and
can get a large following, evenif it's like not accurate or
maybe hasn't had the backing andalso needing.
You know we talked about beingcoming into an office
environment.
You come in strong with a lotof ideas and you want to change
things or, you know, make movesomething.
(18:42):
But like I remember feelinglike that going in as a
millennial, but something I'velearned and they better learn
too is like you have to learn towork with different generations
.
Adam (18:51):
So Forbids, sent out this article, wow.
Blaine (18:55):
Did you just say wait?
Did you just say Forbids?
Do you mean Forbes?
Please tell me, it's Forbes.
Oh my God.
Adam (19:04):
It's Forbes.
Blaine (19:06):
That's definitely going to be its own TikTok, because
that's the dumbest thing you'vedone.
You know we like to refer toAdam as our lovable idiot, but
he's also very smart, okay.
So, forbes, he just doesn'tspeak.
Adam (19:18):
Well, guys, I would say forbids stated, gen Zs are the
most depressed, anxious andfragile generation ever.
And let me give you this whyand I want to get back to this
it's back to that.
You know, their parents setthem up for this.
Their parents made sure thatthey were given the participant
(19:41):
award when they weren't first,second or third place.
Like, look, you have to bebroken down to build character.
You have to be I can't tell youhow many times as a gay man
that I have been, you knowbooking a reservation for two at
a restaurant and they said youand your wife.
(20:02):
Do you think that I ever gotoffended by that?
No, like, you have to realizepeople's other dynamics.
They don't know what they don'tknow.
And that's the thing.
Even today, the country's stillnot in the understanding of
that.
There is a huge part of the gaypopulation, a huge part of
(20:24):
transgender, so you have to beon the other side of it to go.
You know why they don't know.
No better, and I'm not going toattack them.
Blaine (20:34):
They don't know no better Like.
No, no better.
Cook, Tom Ponyk didn't work foryou, girl.
Adam (20:40):
Like they do not know any better and you can't attack them
for it.
Like attacking them is going tomake you look 20 times worse
than anything and if you thinkattacking somebody is going to
get you anywhere, it's not.
Like it's not going to make theperson that you're attacking
make them want to be a part ofthat or, like you, they're going
(21:02):
to resist that.
I mean, we see that in everydayAmerica that if you attack
something and you go aftersomething instead of just trying
to sit back and listen,understand and then present
something different, like you'regoing to get pushed back.
Blaine (21:20):
I think this is a good point and I think what I've seen
every generation, probablysince I would say probably the
50s has done I mean obviouslysince the civil rights movement,
let's just say that has reallybeen fighting something big,
right, like, I think, alwaysfighting for something new,
(21:41):
something big to really changeour society.
And I think every generationhas slowly changed the way in
which we've done it.
But I think, well, I don't know, I disagree.
I think we've done it kind ofin the same way, like, if I
think like from the civil rightsmovement to the gay rights
movement well, I guess the gayrights movement started in the
60s too but like we and you andI are kind of probably more on
(22:06):
the spectrum because you're alittle younger than us like the
way we attacked gay rights.
Adam (22:11):
We didn't come out of the gates and saying you are going
to like us, you are going to it,you're gonna give us respect.
We had to earn that respect andwe we took it took us a lot of
time and a lot of effort andthis is so.
This is where where.
Look, if you were to give atransgender Gay from, I'm gonna
(22:34):
say, the 90s through atransgender gay from the 2020s,
you will see two differentspectrums of that.
The one from the 90s is gonnasit there and say we Slowly fall
for this.
The one from 2020, you knowThere'd be like you're going to
like us whether you want to ornot, and I think that's a bad
(22:55):
way of doing things.
By the way, that's not justtransgender.
Blaine (22:58):
That has to do with.
No, that has to do with adegeneration Right like Gen Z,
my issue with their issues, andlike when I say that they care
about climate change and theycare about Human rights and all
of these different things andthey, they care about pronoun
usage, which, by the way, Ithink if we I don't have a study
on it, I'm not gonna lie, butlike I don't think, like they're
(23:19):
talking about it as muchanymore because I think they now
care about other things, but Idon't think they know what will
really be world changing andwhat's truly important.
And the problem is is theythink everything's important and
everything has to be acceptedright now.
They don't understand thesocietal changes and what we
focused on was what will changethe world and and what is truly
(23:40):
important for like us.
It was like we're going to getgay marriage, we are gonna get
equal rights when it comes toemployment, like those Bullet
points were the most importantthings.
Ryan (23:50):
Did you both feel like you were part of that, like leading
up like I Want to get?
Blaine (23:55):
further.
I gotta say I was I think I waslike the pivotal generation.
Which is why I say like I'm thelike, kind of like Bridging the
gap here, because what you want.
Adam (24:05):
That though.
Blaine (24:05):
Yeah, because I started college as a freshman, nobody
was like out them and by thetime I graduated, by the way,
there's a lot of gays.
But when I came back from beingoverseas, my sophomore year, my
junior year, the freshman classpresident was gay.
There was like a whole gaystraight alliance had a
pepperdine, which is aConservative Christian
(24:27):
organization.
I was like, where'd all thesedays come from?
I was in Argentina for a year.
I'm like there's gay people.
Before it was one French guyand one other dude that was
swishing, swashing around andthey were the gayest people I
knew and I was like and then allthe people that been overseas,
we came out while we were abroadbecause we felt safe, you know,
abroad.
And then I was like now we havethese huge things.
(24:50):
It was literally happenedwithin two years and I was born
in 84.
So the people born in like 86,we're just like all this sudden
and these people have been outsince high school.
Adam (25:01):
That's a board.
That's a board like is even in.
Blaine (25:03):
Even I was 86, so even in my my day, like Well, I'm
just saying the shift happened,started happening quickly, and I
think it was a social mediathing.
It was just like you guys,since I'm the oldest
Unfortunately the oldest in thisgroup with the best looking
skin.
Oh my god because I do thatlaser resurfacing her.
But yeah, like I think I justnoticed it was just a really
(25:26):
quick shift that just likeaccelerated things and that was
just like Other worldly for me.
And then you feel kind of thesame way and you're only two
years behind me and you're howmany years 89, so this three
years.
Adam (25:41):
I feel like there's a whole different like spectrum
from from even 86 89 anddisrespect to you.
But like we, we went through alot of shit, like you know,
people were still Looking at usand I kind of and I still kind
of hold on to it, like when I goto the street bars, obviously
there's a lot of differencebetween 86 89, because you'll go
(26:04):
, that's a gay bar and you'llfucking make out with anybody,
you go into the straight bar orstraight bar.
Blaine (26:08):
Yeah, you're gonna say part of me, of anybody, but I, I
go to a straight bar and I holdback like the old years and and
I'm like, ooh, I don't know ifI like this is comfortable to do
but you know, what's notcomfortable for me is and this
is one thing I'll say aboutshouldn't see that I find very
(26:30):
Disrespectful and I've had thison some of our TikTok comments
on some of my clips, I think,especially when I did.
Our pride episode was is therelike, okay, grandpa, blah, blah,
blah.
I gotta tell you like I alwaysrespected the elders in our gay
community, because I say this,like when you say like Did I
march for?
Like gay rights and gaymarriage?
I did.
It was very active in andpolicies that affected getting
(26:56):
gay marriage legalized andpushing forward that agenda,
like the freedom to marry, whichyou know, isn't even an
organization anymore, but orthey might be still a little bit
, but like they were huge backin the day, but like I was so
involved in those differentcauses and because I really
cared about it.
And I know, though, that peoplethat were older than me, that
(27:17):
were friends of mine, foughteven harder.
I have friends that have beenmarried, like now, I guess, like
30 plus years.
I mean they were, they were likeliterally together in the 80s
when they were dying of AIDS,and I, like so respect those men
and women that went throughthose times, and we hearing
those stories was just Such acrazy thing that's.
Actually.
We have a friend that has areally cool place in Rancho
(27:39):
Mirage that we always used to goto and he's like 78 now and we
were talking to him about theneo pronoun thing and he
basically was just like this issuch bullshit.
He's like this is not what Ifought for.
And this guy lived throughLiterally everything like
Stonewall, the AIDS Crisis, likehe lived through everything and
is one of the coolest guys Iknow and it just was like what
(28:02):
is going on with his generation?
And you know, I respect himmore than anything and I think
that's what kind of kills me isI feel like Anybody that
comments on this shit and islike okay, grandpa, you just
didn't know.
I'm like you just don't knowwhat we went through, girl.
Adam (28:15):
So I first want to say this is I want to thank Every
person that's been before me Topave that road to get to where I
can actually sit here and I'mgonna speak for all of us so
that we can get here to Sit hereon a podcast and talk about
Things that happen in a gayman's relationship.
(28:35):
Like you guys are the ones whoPaid that road for us, because
if it wasn't for you guys, wewould never be able to sit here
and do this.
And and that's where I getFrustrated with with Jen's Is I
feel like they don't realizewhat was before them and who
actually paved that road and I'mnot saying that I paved the
(28:56):
road by any means, like I didn'tdo shit.
It was the people before usthat that actually paved that
road open to let them to even beable to sit there and bitch
about the.
What I Will say no, I'm notgonna put a quarter from your
mouth, but what I would say isthe dumb shit of saying him, her
(29:17):
, whatever.
Just be happy that we're in aworld that you can be Insec, you
can have sex with whoever youwant, whether that's a man, a
woman.
Stop fighting for this dumbshit and be happy that we've
(29:40):
gotten this for and not thatthere's not further to go.
Ryan (29:44):
Yeah, no, I just I love the first part of your comment,
not maybe the last part, but Ilove the first part because, yes
, we're free to be here.
We're on a like public podcast,with coffee, with gaze, talking
about all the shit we've talkedabout, and we feel free to do
that and it's fine.
Blaine (30:01):
Have you ever felt like you could be like in the
workplace and be free to like?
Ryan (30:05):
I do now and I wanted to.
I just another thing I justthought of because, you know, a
few years apart, just as far aswhen we were born and generation
, generationally, but also justthinking about where each of us,
the difference, where we wereon our journey and being I know
Adam's going to love this ourjourney of being queer, lgbtq,
however you want to define it.
(30:25):
But I'm just saying like whengay marriage was happening for
me, I wasn't already identifyingwithin that community or
knowing about it or like doinganything, so I didn't feel any
connection to be involved.
I think that I remember beingfor me like experiencing, like
in my, in my gay like what'sgoing on and also trying to,
(30:46):
coming from my Christianupbringing, in that background,
like I think I was at this kindof Christian hippie fest type
thing, but I remember seeing atable of like like gay Christian
so it wasn't a gay event, itwas more like a Christian kind
of spiritual conference orwhatever.
And that was the first timewhere I was like oh my gosh, can
(31:07):
there be like someone who's gayand Christian?
I went over the table, juststart kind of meeting them and
making connections, but likethat's where I was at that time
just trying to find who I was.
Is there anybody that can beboth Christian and gay?
Later on it can someone be asurfer and gay.
Like combining and figuring outwhere is my identity and are
there others in that space?
(31:27):
So I mean, that's where I wasat.
Adam (31:29):
Hello, you be a firmly engaged.
We are a mix of people blendedup into like this crazy
concoction.
Oh, it sounds like America Like,but we sadly like we are every
aspect of America and I'mtalking every aspect of America
and we, honestly, can sit downand have a conversation unlike
(31:52):
America and be able tounderstand, because the biggest
thing is Gen Z, have a sit downwith somebody and just listen,
just listen, listen to theaudience, listen to where
they're coming from and just tryto push yourself in their shoes
, because that'll get you wayfurther in life.
Ryan (32:13):
So Gen Z comes and listens to you?
You promised to listen back.
Adam (32:18):
I listen to everybody.
I'm like, if you have an issueor what's going on, just just
talk to it.
Ryan (32:23):
This is good because we're speaking about generations, and
so someone that I know told himabout the podcast and he said
if you'd like to have you know,older closeted gay man on the
show secretly, you know.
Just kind of talk about hisexperience.
We might be able to invite himon the show.
He's still closeted, but hewould come on the show.
Blaine (32:41):
And we'd have him behind the screen.
Adam (32:44):
Shut the fuck up.
Blaine (32:44):
Isn't that fun?
I mean it's fun and sad, butlike I think it's great.
Yeah, no.
So let us know if you want yesor no, because I think that
would be a really good one.
I really have a lot ofquestions.
I have a lot of questionsbecause I've seen a lot of stats
and mainly from the right, bythe way which is like are there
(33:06):
more gay people than there usedto be?
Like, surely everybody's comeout of the closet?
And I don't think everybody'scome out of the closet yet.
I don't think they have.
Adam (33:14):
Is this guy married?
Ryan (33:15):
I'm not going to release any more details.
You'll have to stay tuned.
Blaine (33:19):
Yeah, I don't think everybody is comfortable
necessarily coming out of thecloset.
I think progressively, like Isaid, my college experience
included I think it is a verymuch a fluid thing and I think
it's more comfortable to comeout now than it was Gen.
Adam (33:32):
Z.
So you just bust the closetdoors down and they're like
we're gay, you're going to likeus, whether you like it or not,
and we don't give a fuck.
Blaine (33:39):
Well, we're gay and we're cats and we're the
different things and that'swhere it gets weird sometimes
and it's too much.
It's too much change and Ithink you know, I think gay
marriage took, you know, 40 or40, I guess it took 60 years
almost.
Adam (33:56):
But we're not saying that like, like, we're changing and
evolving in this, but we'resaying you can't demand that
change.
You have to evolve that change.
You know that's the differencein this.
That change has to evolve.
You can't demand it, because ifyou demand it you're going to
get no respect for it.
Ryan (34:17):
Yeah, it's going to backfire.
Slow it down and know that.
You know change isn't going tohappen immediately or overnight.
I think a lot of I mean maybesome millennial, definitely a
new generation probably used tothat more instant gratification,
satisfaction, like we're notgonna make that difference
overnight.
And I mean I've even had to betold this and learn this some,
(34:40):
because I I want things quicklya lot of times.
But I've been told from oldergenerations like, hey, you know,
recognized, like you are makinga difference, you're moving the
needle.
Now I feel like I hear thatphrase all the time You're
moving the needle.
Sometimes it has feltfrustrating, but it is a lot of
learning to recognize and pauseand know like, okay, this isn't
(35:00):
gonna change immediately and youknow, respect that, like we're
making a difference, like wehave a constructive conversation
about it and move along.
Don't come in demanding and notlisten.
Blaine (35:10):
Yeah, and I think that's what we did back in the day
when we kind of started all thisconversation, and my advice for
our younger gay LGBTQIAcommunity is to really listen
and Hone your argument and noteven make it an argument.
Make it a conversation right.
Adam (35:30):
So don't, as a Gen Z, do not start fighting people.
Sit there and listen, becausethere's and this is with
everybody in the world Justlisten to the other side, listen
to whoever you're talking to,whether it's a friend on your
side or whatever.
Everybody has a different pointof perspective.
(35:51):
So listen to them, take it in,try to put yourself in their
shoes and then Come to aresolution.
Don't demand things, becauseI'm telling you right now, if
you start putting demands out,you're never gonna get.
That.
You're never gonna get unlessunless you pay their paycheck.
Blaine (36:09):
Oberfell was not the first Supreme Court case that
could have made gay marriagelegal nationwide and it really
was a progression and the pollskept showing that there was
constant Acceptance of gaymarriage nationwide.
And I really do think it waspeople like probably you and me,
(36:31):
like in our communities, wherewe came out and we were just
nice to people that may have haddifferent views.
And I talked about mygrandmother before and and, and
you know, I spent the last yearof her life for quite a few
months with her and I talked toher about things like Seriousy
and stuff she never even knewabout.
(36:51):
I didn't force it down herthroat.
We didn't talk for 14 yearsover me being gay and I also
never harbored anger towards herfor that, and I just knew she
was in her 80s and lived adifferent life and I didn't
force her to accept me, but shedid accept me in the end and I'm
(37:12):
so thankful for that and I'm sothankful for those last like
seven years of Her life that Iwas able to be a part of it and
also change her perception ofgay people, and I think that
that was like my job to do that,and then not only her but all
of her friends as well.
Adam (37:29):
You know religious people in East Texas, so I just think,
like that's how you do it as youyou show by example and you
show by being a nice person andKind and understanding their
opinion and and not forcing yourway on people exactly if you
want somebody to love you, benice, be kind and and that's the
(37:51):
biggest thing, because, comingfrom somebody who's a small town
farm boy who came out and andall of my friends Like around me
, I Skate that part of my lifebecause I was so scared that I
would get so much backlash.
And when I slowly came out toall then and even though, like
(38:15):
they all kind of knew I was sohot back with that and and they
absolutely From where I wasbefore I came out, where they
would, they would talk smackabout gay people left and right
To where I am now, like it's awhole different world and and
and I have a lot of respect fromthose people.
(38:36):
And it's funny because there'speople who I thought would never
entertain this in my life andwhen I last went home they were
like, oh my gosh, we want tomeet your boyfriend and that
that's a huge win, like that,beyond anything like ever.
And imagine, and it's, there'sall build-ups to it and you got
(38:58):
to know how to take that, how todeliver it like you can't force
it, you've got to slowly buildthat that makes me think of just
a reminder.
Ryan (39:06):
I think for all of us, and probably especially for Gen Z,
is those wins and a smallerscale or in our local community
and our hometown and our youknow, our immediate family or
small groups, like those are ourwins.
We don't have to come out of itand think like I'm busting out
and I'm gonna change all thelaws in this whole country today
, but like knowing that you madea difference in your small town
(39:28):
by getting you know thosepeople Know you and support you
and on board with that, becausethat you know, as I was
listening to you just even mademe think about when, like my
story of talking to mygrandparents about, hey, I'm
hold to, held this guy's handand I, having, you know, getting
with my boyfriend and andstarted kind of that, sharing
(39:48):
that with them and veryconservative and Baptist, there
was a lot of they didn'tunderstand and agree, didn't
think it was God's way, like allthat typical conservative Stuff
that goes along with it.
But like, if I kind of move,flash forward, you know a few
years and we've gotten to knoweach other, we've had
conversations.
I remember one day when mygrandpa you know we just were
(40:09):
and it was over at their houseand you know we prayed together
and he Supported and loved meand to just think about the
shift and that movement withtheir mindset, which later on
ended up being at their churchin Florida Baptist Church, and
someone said something verynegative about, oh, those gays.
And he spoke up and saidsomething and he's like you know
(40:32):
, I don't Appreciate that.
Like you know, my grandson, Idon't believe he's gonna go to
hell.
And he said something and likethat's still like I'm getting
chills right now thinking aboutit.
And when I was at his funeralservice I guess to is the last,
oh, last summer, I rememberthinking, you know that it had
(40:55):
the opportunities anyone want tocome up and say anything.
And I'm sitting there slightlyscared but also feeling like my
grandpa would want me to saysomething like and I went up and
I said that story in front ofthe Baptist Church, of everyone
out his funeral, because I said,you know, my grandpa would want
me to say this and I told thatstory and it felt.
(41:16):
It felt yeah, it was, it wasscary, but I felt like I needed
to do it and he would want me todo it and I had several people
you know afterwards come up andjust say you know, thank you for
sharing that and it was just amoment of just Love and
gratitude and I felt like it washis.
You know he speaking of multigenerations.
You know he didn't understandat first and just over the years
(41:40):
, and and and conversation, Ithink we made movement in the
family and then with the churchand so you know, that difference
can can live on with everyonethat was there that day and and
their families, right, if theytell that story too and that's
how you make change and I gottatell you I actually have.
Blaine (41:58):
I don't even have a story.
I have an exact same story withmy grandfather in their church,
baptist in conservative EastTexas.
So it's a beautiful storybecause I think, you know, this
is just two of us and you know,I think everybody can make that
difference and it can spread,because my grandfather did the
same thing.
He just said I have a greatgrandson, boom, boom, boom.
(42:19):
And that's how you can changein people's minds and I think
that's how the movement has madechange over time and it's been
a beautiful thing to see and andit hasn't been what is it
called confrontational, it'sbeen more of like about
understanding and a conversation.
Ryan (42:39):
So we've learned definitely start with listen,
just come from place oflistening.
I think that's kind of thebiggest lesson that we have for
everyone today Don't attack,just listen.
Have a conversation withsomeone next to you and well,
yeah, we'll go.
We'll go from there and that'spart of the reason we've got
this podcast, because we want tolift up those voices, have the
(42:59):
conversation.
So Come at us in the commentswill be.
Will be in the conversationwith you.
Yes, definitely.
Blaine (43:08):
Oh my god, you're crying , get way too emotional, very
emotional.
You've been emotional lately.
You've been an emotional girl,girl.
So like definitely, subscribefor our YouTube channel and
we're also on all the differentpodcasts Apple, spotify, I heart
radio and yeah you, thank youfor that can also email.
Ryan (43:32):
Do tell at coffee with gaze calm.
You can always do that as wellif you have a topic idea or
something you want to be alittle more in private to us.
So, or the DM's.
Blaine (43:41):
Cheers, boys.
Now we're gonna go to the pool.
Yes, yeah, it's time for pooltime.
Ready says bye.
He's so cute.
Look how cute he is oh.
This bachelorette's the gay bars.
They really piss me off.
Adam (00:03):
You freaking, open your mouth and Prada comes out.
Ryan (00:06):
It's so time between Bargain Bradley and my mate.
Hello everyone, welcome toanother episode of Coffee with
Gays.
I'm your host this week, ryan,and we have Adam and.
Blaine (00:21):
Blaine, here's, everybody.
Hi, ed, hey, everyone, hey.
Ryan (00:27):
And for today's topic, gen Z, the millennial perspective.
So all of us are millennials,different stages of millennial,
but we're here to talk aboutkind of our perspective on that,
topics such as pronouns.
I know Adam has got a lot tosay.
I'm sure we hear from him a lotevery episode, but I think he
(00:49):
will show up a lot for this one.
So I got my espresso in tohopefully get a few words in and
we'll just kind of go throughsome topics here.
But I think first we justwanted to open it up and hear
what are your thoughts on justGen Z impact in society right
now.
Blaine (01:06):
I mean you have your espresso, though I just want to
say you've been sober for acouple weeks now.
Ryan (01:10):
Yeah, I'm going on two weeks.
Blaine (01:12):
You're like on a supercut, post your proposal.
Yes, what led to that?
Ryan (01:18):
Just as a little intro for everyone, there was a lot of
drinking leading up to that.
Bradley and I love our tequila.
If the video isn't out yet, Imay have had a drunk little
brawl with Adam over here.
Blaine (01:31):
Oh, it's not out yet, but actually this is a really
good segue to actually launchthe fight in homo sasa between
Adam and Ryan.
It was really good, funny and Iget it.
Adam (01:47):
I was the sober person in that moment.
Ryan (01:48):
Yeah, that was reverse roles, yeah.
Blaine (01:52):
You want to tell them the story really quick for
everybody, because I just reallyjust want to now.
Ryan (01:57):
Yeah, so in homo sasa, and so I think Blaine was probably
like instigating this, becausewe all know she's trying to get
content.
Yeah, I will say okay.
So we found out that.
So he was sleeping in thegarage room and needed to
redirect the air to make sure itstayed cool.
Adam (02:18):
So, mind you, I was sleeping in a garage.
Ryan (02:20):
So keep going.
So we found out that he closedall the air vents.
Adam (02:25):
I did not close them all.
I closed the ones that wereblowing out very hard to try to
get more air into the garagebecause I was sweating like a
horn church so I was dying and Iwas like we got to get some air
in this thing because it wasrough.
But anyway, I closed the ventsand I said to Bradley hey, I'm
(02:48):
going to close these vents.
If you get hot, just crack themback open like for the bedroom.
But you guys have a lot of aircoming in.
And the day before this brawlwent out Brad was like I agree.
Blaine (03:00):
And then you know Bradley's like shit face and
he's like Adam closed all thevents in the house and I did not
know this and what led to thefight, quite frankly, until I
was in the airport, the like afew days later, because I went
to see a guy in Jacksonville,florida.
That's a whole other story, foranother episode, because I left
(03:21):
earlier.
I did, I know Well, anytime yougo to Jacksonville, but I was
in the airport lounge and it wasa very busy lounge and I was
looking through my videos ofthat day and I found the video
of Brad.
Adam (03:34):
Now, mind you, lane videotapes everything.
Whether you're going to thebathroom, having sex, making a
sandwich, it doesn't matter,lane is going to record it, so
watch what you do around, blake.
Blaine (03:46):
I just want to make sure we have enough content for
coffee with gay.
We need those shorts and thosetiktoks, so please make sure and
follow us on tiktok, youtubeand Instagram reels, because
these things will show up therefor sure at random times.
But I didn't know the cause ofthe fight.
Basically, long story shortRyan comes after Adam, who was
(04:08):
sober, so it was not a fairmatch and Adam took him down
three times.
Ryan (04:14):
I know, I know, I know it was so fair.
But you know, when I was drunk,in that moment I wasn't
thinking.
Adam (04:20):
So the sad part about it was like, hey, you're drunk and
I'm sober, you're going to lose.
And he's like no, I'm not.
And I was like you're going tolose, like what?
And he was like, no, and hejust launches on my back and
just starts whaling me into thehead and I was like, oh God.
And then I had to decide atwhat moment do I lay down, like
(04:40):
Ryan, like should I jokingly letthis go, or should I just
really throw him down?
And I like went on for like I'mgoing to say like 30 seconds,
and then I was like you're goingdown, like WWE, I'm throwing
you down, hold on, you're goingto get hurt, you're going to get
hurt.
Blaine (04:59):
And then I love how Matt just casually shot Saunders in
and is like like just sittingnext to me and we're just both
like by standards.
And then where's Bradley, whostarted this whole thing?
Ryan (05:08):
He started the whole thing .
I guess the bed.
Adam (05:11):
This was on like his third sleep cycle.
Blaine (05:13):
The next day he's like I don't know, guys, I was just in
bed, oh shit.
And I'm like you're youinstigated the whole fight.
You're up there on a stool andyour speedo like, like,
adjusting the vent, say an atomshut off all the vents in the
house and, mind you, the bestpart about this is guess who had
zero air conditioning vents inthe porch, which is where I was
(05:33):
staying.
Me, I had to open the windowsin homosasks order, where it's
humid, hot and everything.
So I just want to say that Ishould, I should have been the
one that was mad.
That's what I want to say atthe end of the day.
Adam (05:46):
Does that mean that you want to?
Blaine (05:47):
hit me?
No, it didn't.
I was pretty sober myself, so Ijust thought the whole thing
was hysterical.
What we'll probably do is edita whole YouTube video for the
for the video and we'll post itwith this one it was you.
I won't post it in this videobecause it might be too much.
Adam (06:00):
I want to do an actual, dedicated part of it was when
Ryan like finally realized likeit was over and he and he got.
He got upset, he kicked the bagof trash which launched all
across the house and I was likewait as his mother walked out of
her bedroom.
And then I come over like alittle six year old like oh my
(06:27):
God he was, literally was acaught six year old.
Blaine (06:29):
He's like he knew he was in trouble, he knew it was time
to go to bed.
And he went to bed and thencame out the next morning
singing Last night we let theliquor talk.
Adam (06:41):
I still love you yeah.
Blaine (06:42):
Yeah, chosen family, chosen family, had a moment I
just had to highlight thatreally fun time in homosasa.
But anyway, back to our friendsand our friends with Gen Z.
So where are we with this?
Where are we with Gen Z?
And like what we think aboutthem.
Ryan (06:59):
Let's start with, like Ryan, like what's the thought I
mean the thought I justrecognizing, first, I think,
millennial and then Gen Z.
So, being a younger, what do wesay?
Nineteen, born in 1990s, 97,2012.
This particular group, like soI think millennial, like we're
coming in at our age and maybemoving to be like predominant
kind of workforce and in societyat this point, and then younger
(07:21):
generation, gen Z, and everygeneration is different, but I
think this one in particular,always, you know, having grown
up, digital and social media,and it's just a very different,
I think, approach on maybe, yeah, approach on how addressing it
could be the climate change.
Or I think the biggest thingthat I think we can talk about
(07:41):
with like gender, genderidentity and pronouns and like
it's a whole nother world evenfor us and like in my career,
even, but being able to kind ofbe a voice just explaining like
a pronoun in general, this iseven a he-him.
And now we look at, I mean Iget confused.
There's just so much newlanguage and things that I feel
(08:02):
like this generation is like arethey introducing and they're
trying to figure out.
Is it like, is that real?
I mean I know this week I meanyou sent me this TikTok neo
pronouns.
I thought I was like keeping upwith some stuff, like I'm at
work trying to like explainstuff to people, and now I'm
like this is and I follow thisamazing TikToker God.
Blaine (08:25):
I wish I remember her TikTok handle, but I'll
definitely tag it in the shownotes and she's a Gen Xer and
she basically talks about Gen X,which I actually really
identify.
I'm an elder millennial and shehas all these funny stories
about how like look our parentsjust like let us run around the
thing they didn't even know wewere home, like, and I kind of
feel like that's the thing I waslike raised in.
(08:47):
You know, I was kind of like Imean my parents were kind of
protective, but like not likeoverprotective, like it wasn't
helicopter mom scenarios.
So I kind of identify with GenZ, kind of with millennials, so
that's kind of the groups thatwe're all talking about.
Adam (09:01):
Gen.
Blaine (09:02):
X, gen X I kind of am more like a Gen Xer, but you
have to realize the Gen Xers arethe ones that raise these Gen
Zers and I think because theywere kind of, like you know
these forgotten and I mean GenXers were raised by the boomers
who are like sitting theresmoking with their kids and,
like you know, like letting themrun around malls and like don't
(09:23):
know where they are and likeleaving them in cars there's no
seat belts, like you have tothink, like no rules basically
for the Gen Xers, and then, andthen with their kids, they're
really like focused on, likethese kids and like raising them
in a certain way and it'salmost like, from our
perspective, they become likevery like spoiled.
But I do think because they'vegrown in a digital age, they
(09:47):
have so much knowledge and myperspective is they do really
care about a lot of things.
I mean a lot of things.
I think it's their Achillesheel, I think it's their biggest
no hold on, because there's alot of Gen Xers.
Put this on Tiktok for a secondand I can tell you there's a
lot of Gen Zers.
They can call me an old man,because I've been called an old
man a lot and I get it, but I dothink that they have a lot of
(10:11):
causes that they really love andfeel strongly about.
I don't think they know how totackle it and I do appreciate
the passion that they havebehind it, but I don't think
they know how to make it a realcause and what is important to
bring forward.
So, like the neo pronoun thing Isent you is a great example.
As an executive at a company, Iwas brought with a bunch of Gen
(10:32):
Zers that were like oh, wereally need to have pronouns in
our email signatures.
And I was like I'm an executivethat talks to people outside of
our organization from all overthe country.
Personally, as a game man, I'mjust not going to do that
because I don't need thatconversation to happen.
It's a business conversation.
I don't know this personpersonally.
(10:52):
I don't need to have thatconversation personally.
So for me, I don't believe inthat.
What do you think?
Ryan (10:58):
That's another one that I'd say I've learned a lot more
about and I don't think it needsto be like I'm going to go have
a conversation about mypronouns, but I'm like fine with
putting in my signature likehas it after my name, because
now I know like if I'maddressing and talking and
having the conversation withsomeone, I know like how to
address them.
Blaine (11:17):
But if someone called me a ma'am and I know I can be a
little feminine sometimes- Doyou know how many times I've
been on the phone Like?
Adam (11:26):
I can't even count.
And they're like ma'am, wouldyou like, or me.
Mr Tube, manor and that's thefunny part about it and I'll
never forget.
Matt and I were in a car and Iwas talking to some sort of
customer service and they'relike oh well, ma'am, would you
like this?
And Matt busted out, laughingLike he was like this is
(11:48):
hysterical as shit.
And I was like ma'am, I'm not ama'am, I'm a surer.
And she was like oh, can Ireally hung up that conversation
and call it another company?
And they did the same thing andI was like oh well, ma'am,
would you like?
And I and this is where myposition gets in with this is
like Gen Z right now would beoffended by that.
(12:11):
I laugh at it.
I'm like haha, how like I lookat their perspective if they
thought that I had a morefeminine voice, whatever, or
they just couldn't hear me, orwhatever, and they just roll
with it and they made a mistake.
Do you think that I lose sleepover it?
You know it wasn't on purpose.
It wasn't on purpose.
(12:32):
Gen Z, though here's my problem.
There's a Gen Z and I'm goingto go right out of the game with
this.
A Gen Z would stop that and belike how dare you come out and
say that I'm a female when I'm amale, or vice versa.
Blaine (12:47):
Whatever it is, it's called misgender and actually
see it.
And the CNN actually justrecently had to do a formal
apology for misgendering DylanMulvaney and they did this very
dramatic formal apology for it.
Adam (13:03):
If this is the shit that you people have to worry about
in your life, then go get asecond job.
If you literally are worriedabout, if you're being caught a
hand here or her, or an it whator whatever, then you don't have
enough work in your life andyou don't have enough
responsibilities.
And this is where I'm going togo in with this, because I'm
going to fire right off of this.
It is your parents fault, right, it's your parents fault.
(13:25):
Your parents have made you somuch in your life that when you
played soccer and you lost thething that gave you a
participant ribbon because youhad to get something to feel,
something, you sucked.
My father said to me and I'llnever forget it I played
(13:46):
baseball and we won or we lostthat game and they gave us a
participant ribbon.
And my dad said you know why?
You're still a loser.
You didn't win first place, youdidn't win second, you were a
loser.
So the only thing that you cando is to grow and get better and
learn from it and move forward.
Blaine (14:07):
I'm glad you stayed on time with that one.
For sure I do agree with you onon on this point, and I think.
But what I want to do is do alittle translation for Adam here
.
Let's say it was a part of ourlast episode was about chosen
family and you had a moment ofbeing choked up about one of our
really dear friends.
Let's say that person haddecided to transition and had a
(14:31):
chosen pronoun.
I believe that you wouldrespect the pronoun, would you
not?
Adam (14:36):
So so, so hold on with that.
He came to me and said hey, Iwould like to be a female Right.
So so how do I stay on topicwith this?
Blaine (14:47):
Yeah, stay on topic.
Adam (14:48):
Because he has a penis or vagina.
Ryan (14:50):
That doesn't define it.
Blaine (14:51):
Just say, just say like that really person that's close
to you, because what you'retalking about is customers and
with people, and then I agreewith you.
Adam (14:59):
If he said I want to be a her, so I'd be like her.
But here's the deal If he iscalling into a customer service
or yeah but I'm not.
Blaine (15:09):
I'm talking about your personal relationship.
Adam (15:11):
So then fine, I would, I would call him a her.
What the thing is Like.
You have to realize when you'redoing this sort of change,
there's going to be people whoare not going to know, who are
not going to understand, who arein their older ways, People who
(15:32):
are 80 years old today don'tunderstand the gay life.
Let me say this Don'tunderstand the gay life of Adam
Bailey.
And the gay life is the oldnews.
Transgender is the new news,right For the old news of being
gay.
They don't understand.
So if they take offense toanything that I do, I understand
where they came from.
Blaine (15:53):
The.
My issue in this, as thecentrist of the group here flies
and this is what I trulybelieve about, regardless of
your political stance, quitefrankly, on this is, I do think,
because you personally know aperson, I think that you would
respect their pronouns, like ifthey said like this is what
really matters to me, adam, andyou care about the person and
(16:15):
you would respect the pronoun, Ithink, where Gen Z gets it
really wrong and they push it,they expect the poor barista at
Starbucks to look at them and,without any other kind of like
anything, to not misgender them.
They take super offense if theydo and it's like, oh, you've
(16:39):
misgendered me, what?
Ryan (16:40):
do you.
I partially agree with somethings here, but I see some
other sides too, because I'vemet Gen Zs that are, I feel,
like, mature and smart and aregoing to recognize that and say
yeah, but say someone, you knowthey, maybe they refer to them
at their Starbucks and someonedoes the misgendering or
whatever, but they should be,you know if that and kind of
(17:02):
choosing.
When are these opportunities toexplain it and learn?
Like it's not, like you know,some maybe go straight into that
attack defensive mode, butthat's not the right thing to do
.
I think I've met Gen Zs thatare both.
Some maybe get really offendedimmediately and attack, and I
think others are like I need tobe able to bring a you know,
(17:22):
bring along, invite people intothis like conversation of what
that means and that may nothappen in your five second
exchange at a Starbucks,Probably not and choose, you
know, choose your battles in away.
Blaine (17:36):
Hold on, hold on, let me get the out of belly.
Do you think, though, maybebecause social media and there
are a lot of Gen Zs have largesocial media platforms they were
on tick, they were early TikTokadopters they probably have
larger platforms.
Do you think that maybe theyhave used those platforms to
kind of amplify the loudervoices more?
Ryan (18:01):
Yeah, I mean there's the opportunity from those platforms
to do it, which is both areally great, free, exciting
thing, like kind of a democracyof communications, but at the
same time it opens it up forpeople to have voices and large,
large followings, just like Imean, any time in history.
But I think this particulargeneration has that platform to
(18:22):
use, to talk to you know, getwhat they think out there and
can get a large following, evenif it's like not accurate or
maybe hasn't had the backing andalso needing.
You know we talked about beingcoming into an office
environment.
You come in strong with a lotof ideas and you want to change
things or, you know, make movesomething.
(18:42):
But like I remember feelinglike that going in as a
millennial, but something I'velearned and they better learn
too is like you have to learn towork with different generations
.
Adam (18:51):
So Forbids, sent out this article, wow.
Blaine (18:55):
Did you just say wait?
Did you just say Forbids?
Do you mean Forbes?
Please tell me, it's Forbes.
Oh my God.
Adam (19:04):
It's Forbes.
Blaine (19:06):
That's definitely going to be its own TikTok, because
that's the dumbest thing you'vedone.
You know we like to refer toAdam as our lovable idiot, but
he's also very smart, okay.
So, forbes, he just doesn'tspeak.
Adam (19:18):
Well, guys, I would say forbids stated, gen Zs are the
most depressed, anxious andfragile generation ever.
And let me give you this whyand I want to get back to this
it's back to that.
You know, their parents setthem up for this.
Their parents made sure thatthey were given the participant
(19:41):
award when they weren't first,second or third place.
Like, look, you have to bebroken down to build character.
You have to be I can't tell youhow many times as a gay man
that I have been, you knowbooking a reservation for two at
a restaurant and they said youand your wife.
(20:02):
Do you think that I ever gotoffended by that?
No, like, you have to realizepeople's other dynamics.
They don't know what they don'tknow.
And that's the thing.
Even today, the country's stillnot in the understanding of
that.
There is a huge part of the gaypopulation, a huge part of
(20:24):
transgender, so you have to beon the other side of it to go.
You know why they don't know.
No better, and I'm not going toattack them.
Blaine (20:34):
They don't know no better Like.
No, no better.
Cook, Tom Ponyk didn't work foryou, girl.
Adam (20:40):
Like they do not know any better and you can't attack them
for it.
Like attacking them is going tomake you look 20 times worse
than anything and if you thinkattacking somebody is going to
get you anywhere, it's not.
Like it's not going to make theperson that you're attacking
make them want to be a part ofthat or, like you, they're going
(21:02):
to resist that.
I mean, we see that in everydayAmerica that if you attack
something and you go aftersomething instead of just trying
to sit back and listen,understand and then present
something different, like you'regoing to get pushed back.
Blaine (21:20):
I think this is a good point and I think what I've seen
every generation, probablysince I would say probably the
50s has done I mean obviouslysince the civil rights movement,
let's just say that has reallybeen fighting something big,
right, like, I think, alwaysfighting for something new,
(21:41):
something big to really changeour society.
And I think every generationhas slowly changed the way in
which we've done it.
But I think, well, I don't know, I disagree.
I think we've done it kind ofin the same way, like, if I
think like from the civil rightsmovement to the gay rights
movement well, I guess the gayrights movement started in the
60s too but like we and you andI are kind of probably more on
(22:06):
the spectrum because you're alittle younger than us like the
way we attacked gay rights.
Adam (22:11):
We didn't come out of the gates and saying you are going
to like us, you are going to it,you're gonna give us respect.
We had to earn that respect andwe we took it took us a lot of
time and a lot of effort andthis is so.
This is where where.
Look, if you were to give atransgender Gay from, I'm gonna
(22:34):
say, the 90s through atransgender gay from the 2020s,
you will see two differentspectrums of that.
The one from the 90s is gonnasit there and say we Slowly fall
for this.
The one from 2020, you knowThere'd be like you're going to
like us whether you want to ornot, and I think that's a bad
(22:55):
way of doing things.
By the way, that's not justtransgender.
Blaine (22:58):
That has to do with.
No, that has to do with adegeneration Right like Gen Z,
my issue with their issues, andlike when I say that they care
about climate change and theycare about Human rights and all
of these different things andthey, they care about pronoun
usage, which, by the way, Ithink if we I don't have a study
on it, I'm not gonna lie, butlike I don't think, like they're
(23:19):
talking about it as muchanymore because I think they now
care about other things, but Idon't think they know what will
really be world changing andwhat's truly important.
And the problem is is theythink everything's important and
everything has to be acceptedright now.
They don't understand thesocietal changes and what we
focused on was what will changethe world and and what is truly
(23:40):
important for like us.
It was like we're going to getgay marriage, we are gonna get
equal rights when it comes toemployment, like those Bullet
points were the most importantthings.
Ryan (23:50):
Did you both feel like you were part of that, like leading
up like I Want to get?
Blaine (23:55):
further.
I gotta say I was I think I waslike the pivotal generation.
Which is why I say like I'm thelike, kind of like Bridging the
gap here, because what you want.
Adam (24:05):
That though.
Blaine (24:05):
Yeah, because I started college as a freshman, nobody
was like out them and by thetime I graduated, by the way,
there's a lot of gays.
But when I came back from beingoverseas, my sophomore year, my
junior year, the freshman classpresident was gay.
There was like a whole gaystraight alliance had a
pepperdine, which is aConservative Christian
(24:27):
organization.
I was like, where'd all thesedays come from?
I was in Argentina for a year.
I'm like there's gay people.
Before it was one French guyand one other dude that was
swishing, swashing around andthey were the gayest people I
knew and I was like and then allthe people that been overseas,
we came out while we were abroadbecause we felt safe, you know,
abroad.
And then I was like now we havethese huge things.
(24:50):
It was literally happenedwithin two years and I was born
in 84.
So the people born in like 86,we're just like all this sudden
and these people have been outsince high school.
Adam (25:01):
That's a board.
That's a board like is even in.
Blaine (25:03):
Even I was 86, so even in my my day, like Well, I'm
just saying the shift happened,started happening quickly, and I
think it was a social mediathing.
It was just like you guys,since I'm the oldest
Unfortunately the oldest in thisgroup with the best looking
skin.
Oh my god because I do thatlaser resurfacing her.
But yeah, like I think I justnoticed it was just a really
(25:26):
quick shift that just likeaccelerated things and that was
just like Other worldly for me.
And then you feel kind of thesame way and you're only two
years behind me and you're howmany years 89, so this three
years.
Adam (25:41):
I feel like there's a whole different like spectrum
from from even 86 89 anddisrespect to you.
But like we, we went through alot of shit, like you know,
people were still Looking at usand I kind of and I still kind
of hold on to it, like when I goto the street bars, obviously
there's a lot of differencebetween 86 89, because you'll go
(26:04):
, that's a gay bar and you'llfucking make out with anybody,
you go into the straight bar orstraight bar.
Blaine (26:08):
Yeah, you're gonna say part of me, of anybody, but I, I
go to a straight bar and I holdback like the old years and and
I'm like, ooh, I don't know ifI like this is comfortable to do
but you know, what's notcomfortable for me is and this
is one thing I'll say aboutshouldn't see that I find very
(26:30):
Disrespectful and I've had thison some of our TikTok comments
on some of my clips, I think,especially when I did.
Our pride episode was is therelike, okay, grandpa, blah, blah,
blah.
I gotta tell you like I alwaysrespected the elders in our gay
community, because I say this,like when you say like Did I
march for?
Like gay rights and gaymarriage?
I did.
It was very active in andpolicies that affected getting
(26:56):
gay marriage legalized andpushing forward that agenda,
like the freedom to marry, whichyou know, isn't even an
organization anymore, but orthey might be still a little bit
, but like they were huge backin the day, but like I was so
involved in those differentcauses and because I really
cared about it.
And I know, though, that peoplethat were older than me, that
(27:17):
were friends of mine, foughteven harder.
I have friends that have beenmarried, like now, I guess, like
30 plus years.
I mean they were, they were likeliterally together in the 80s
when they were dying of AIDS,and I, like so respect those men
and women that went throughthose times, and we hearing
those stories was just Such acrazy thing that's.
Actually.
We have a friend that has areally cool place in Rancho
(27:39):
Mirage that we always used to goto and he's like 78 now and we
were talking to him about theneo pronoun thing and he
basically was just like this issuch bullshit.
He's like this is not what Ifought for.
And this guy lived throughLiterally everything like
Stonewall, the AIDS Crisis, likehe lived through everything and
is one of the coolest guys Iknow and it just was like what
(28:02):
is going on with his generation?
And you know, I respect himmore than anything and I think
that's what kind of kills me isI feel like Anybody that
comments on this shit and islike okay, grandpa, you just
didn't know.
I'm like you just don't knowwhat we went through, girl.
Adam (28:15):
So I first want to say this is I want to thank Every
person that's been before me Topave that road to get to where I
can actually sit here and I'mgonna speak for all of us so
that we can get here to Sit hereon a podcast and talk about
Things that happen in a gayman's relationship.
(28:35):
Like you guys are the ones whoPaid that road for us, because
if it wasn't for you guys, wewould never be able to sit here
and do this.
And and that's where I getFrustrated with with Jen's Is I
feel like they don't realizewhat was before them and who
actually paved that road and I'mnot saying that I paved the
(28:56):
road by any means, like I didn'tdo shit.
It was the people before usthat that actually paved that
road open to let them to even beable to sit there and bitch
about the.
What I Will say no, I'm notgonna put a quarter from your
mouth, but what I would say isthe dumb shit of saying him, her
(29:17):
, whatever.
Just be happy that we're in aworld that you can be Insec, you
can have sex with whoever youwant, whether that's a man, a
woman.
Stop fighting for this dumbshit and be happy that we've
(29:40):
gotten this for and not thatthere's not further to go.
Ryan (29:44):
Yeah, no, I just I love the first part of your comment,
not maybe the last part, but Ilove the first part because, yes
, we're free to be here.
We're on a like public podcast,with coffee, with gaze, talking
about all the shit we've talkedabout, and we feel free to do
that and it's fine.
Blaine (30:01):
Have you ever felt like you could be like in the
workplace and be free to like?
Ryan (30:05):
I do now and I wanted to.
I just another thing I justthought of because, you know, a
few years apart, just as far aswhen we were born and generation
, generationally, but also justthinking about where each of us,
the difference, where we wereon our journey and being I know
Adam's going to love this ourjourney of being queer, lgbtq,
however you want to define it.
(30:25):
But I'm just saying like whengay marriage was happening for
me, I wasn't already identifyingwithin that community or
knowing about it or like doinganything, so I didn't feel any
connection to be involved.
I think that I remember beingfor me like experiencing, like
in my, in my gay like what'sgoing on and also trying to,
(30:46):
coming from my Christianupbringing, in that background,
like I think I was at this kindof Christian hippie fest type
thing, but I remember seeing atable of like like gay Christian
so it wasn't a gay event, itwas more like a Christian kind
of spiritual conference orwhatever.
And that was the first timewhere I was like oh my gosh, can
(31:07):
there be like someone who's gayand Christian?
I went over the table, juststart kind of meeting them and
making connections, but likethat's where I was at that time
just trying to find who I was.
Is there anybody that can beboth Christian and gay?
Later on it can someone be asurfer and gay.
Like combining and figuring outwhere is my identity and are
there others in that space?
(31:27):
So I mean, that's where I wasat.
Adam (31:29):
Hello, you be a firmly engaged.
We are a mix of people blendedup into like this crazy
concoction.
Oh, it sounds like America Like,but we sadly like we are every
aspect of America and I'mtalking every aspect of America
and we, honestly, can sit downand have a conversation unlike
(31:52):
America and be able tounderstand, because the biggest
thing is Gen Z, have a sit downwith somebody and just listen,
just listen, listen to theaudience, listen to where
they're coming from and just tryto push yourself in their shoes
, because that'll get you wayfurther in life.
Ryan (32:13):
So Gen Z comes and listens to you?
You promised to listen back.
Adam (32:18):
I listen to everybody.
I'm like, if you have an issueor what's going on, just just
talk to it.
Ryan (32:23):
This is good because we're speaking about generations, and
so someone that I know told himabout the podcast and he said
if you'd like to have you know,older closeted gay man on the
show secretly, you know.
Just kind of talk about hisexperience.
We might be able to invite himon the show.
He's still closeted, but hewould come on the show.
Blaine (32:41):
And we'd have him behind the screen.
Adam (32:44):
Shut the fuck up.
Blaine (32:44):
Isn't that fun?
I mean it's fun and sad, butlike I think it's great.
Yeah, no.
So let us know if you want yesor no, because I think that
would be a really good one.
I really have a lot ofquestions.
I have a lot of questionsbecause I've seen a lot of stats
and mainly from the right, bythe way which is like are there
(33:06):
more gay people than there usedto be?
Like, surely everybody's comeout of the closet?
And I don't think everybody'scome out of the closet yet.
I don't think they have.
Adam (33:14):
Is this guy married?
Ryan (33:15):
I'm not going to release any more details.
You'll have to stay tuned.
Blaine (33:19):
Yeah, I don't think everybody is comfortable
necessarily coming out of thecloset.
I think progressively, like Isaid, my college experience
included I think it is a verymuch a fluid thing and I think
it's more comfortable to comeout now than it was Gen.
Adam (33:32):
Z.
So you just bust the closetdoors down and they're like
we're gay, you're going to likeus, whether you like it or not,
and we don't give a fuck.
Blaine (33:39):
Well, we're gay and we're cats and we're the
different things and that'swhere it gets weird sometimes
and it's too much.
It's too much change and Ithink you know, I think gay
marriage took, you know, 40 or40, I guess it took 60 years
almost.
Adam (33:56):
But we're not saying that like, like, we're changing and
evolving in this, but we'resaying you can't demand that
change.
You have to evolve that change.
You know that's the differencein this.
That change has to evolve.
You can't demand it, because ifyou demand it you're going to
get no respect for it.
Ryan (34:17):
Yeah, it's going to backfire.
Slow it down and know that.
You know change isn't going tohappen immediately or overnight.
I think a lot of I mean maybesome millennial, definitely a
new generation probably used tothat more instant gratification,
satisfaction, like we're notgonna make that difference
overnight.
And I mean I've even had to betold this and learn this some,
(34:40):
because I I want things quicklya lot of times.
But I've been told from oldergenerations like, hey, you know,
recognized, like you are makinga difference, you're moving the
needle.
Now I feel like I hear thatphrase all the time You're
moving the needle.
Sometimes it has feltfrustrating, but it is a lot of
learning to recognize and pauseand know like, okay, this isn't
(35:00):
gonna change immediately and youknow, respect that, like we're
making a difference, like wehave a constructive conversation
about it and move along.
Don't come in demanding and notlisten.
Blaine (35:10):
Yeah, and I think that's what we did back in the day
when we kind of started all thisconversation, and my advice for
our younger gay LGBTQIAcommunity is to really listen
and Hone your argument and noteven make it an argument.
Make it a conversation right.
Adam (35:30):
So don't, as a Gen Z, do not start fighting people.
Sit there and listen, becausethere's and this is with
everybody in the world Justlisten to the other side, listen
to whoever you're talking to,whether it's a friend on your
side or whatever.
Everybody has a different pointof perspective.
(35:51):
So listen to them, take it in,try to put yourself in their
shoes and then Come to aresolution.
Don't demand things, becauseI'm telling you right now, if
you start putting demands out,you're never gonna get.
That.
You're never gonna get unlessunless you pay their paycheck.
Blaine (36:09):
Oberfell was not the first Supreme Court case that
could have made gay marriagelegal nationwide and it really
was a progression and the pollskept showing that there was
constant Acceptance of gaymarriage nationwide.
And I really do think it waspeople like probably you and me,
(36:31):
like in our communities, wherewe came out and we were just
nice to people that may have haddifferent views.
And I talked about mygrandmother before and and, and
you know, I spent the last yearof her life for quite a few
months with her and I talked toher about things like Seriousy
and stuff she never even knewabout.
(36:51):
I didn't force it down herthroat.
We didn't talk for 14 yearsover me being gay and I also
never harbored anger towards herfor that, and I just knew she
was in her 80s and lived adifferent life and I didn't
force her to accept me, but shedid accept me in the end and I'm
(37:12):
so thankful for that and I'm sothankful for those last like
seven years of Her life that Iwas able to be a part of it and
also change her perception ofgay people, and I think that
that was like my job to do that,and then not only her but all
of her friends as well.
Adam (37:29):
You know religious people in East Texas, so I just think,
like that's how you do it as youyou show by example and you
show by being a nice person andKind and understanding their
opinion and and not forcing yourway on people exactly if you
want somebody to love you, benice, be kind and and that's the
(37:51):
biggest thing, because, comingfrom somebody who's a small town
farm boy who came out and andall of my friends Like around me
, I Skate that part of my lifebecause I was so scared that I
would get so much backlash.
And when I slowly came out toall then and even though, like
(38:15):
they all kind of knew I was sohot back with that and and they
absolutely From where I wasbefore I came out, where they
would, they would talk smackabout gay people left and right
To where I am now, like it's awhole different world and and
and I have a lot of respect fromthose people.
(38:36):
And it's funny because there'speople who I thought would never
entertain this in my life andwhen I last went home they were
like, oh my gosh, we want tomeet your boyfriend and that
that's a huge win, like that,beyond anything like ever.
And imagine, and it's, there'sall build-ups to it and you got
(38:58):
to know how to take that, how todeliver it like you can't force
it, you've got to slowly buildthat that makes me think of just
a reminder.
Ryan (39:06):
I think for all of us, and probably especially for Gen Z,
is those wins and a smallerscale or in our local community
and our hometown and our youknow, our immediate family or
small groups, like those are ourwins.
We don't have to come out of itand think like I'm busting out
and I'm gonna change all thelaws in this whole country today
, but like knowing that you madea difference in your small town
(39:28):
by getting you know thosepeople Know you and support you
and on board with that, becausethat you know, as I was
listening to you just even mademe think about when, like my
story of talking to mygrandparents about, hey, I'm
hold to, held this guy's handand I, having, you know, getting
with my boyfriend and andstarted kind of that, sharing
(39:48):
that with them and veryconservative and Baptist, there
was a lot of they didn'tunderstand and agree, didn't
think it was God's way, like allthat typical conservative Stuff
that goes along with it.
But like, if I kind of move,flash forward, you know a few
years and we've gotten to knoweach other, we've had
conversations.
I remember one day when mygrandpa you know we just were
(40:09):
and it was over at their houseand you know we prayed together
and he Supported and loved meand to just think about the
shift and that movement withtheir mindset, which later on
ended up being at their churchin Florida Baptist Church, and
someone said something verynegative about, oh, those gays.
And he spoke up and saidsomething and he's like you know
(40:32):
, I don't Appreciate that.
Like you know, my grandson, Idon't believe he's gonna go to
hell.
And he said something and likethat's still like I'm getting
chills right now thinking aboutit.
And when I was at his funeralservice I guess to is the last,
oh, last summer, I rememberthinking, you know that it had
(40:55):
the opportunities anyone want tocome up and say anything.
And I'm sitting there slightlyscared but also feeling like my
grandpa would want me to saysomething like and I went up and
I said that story in front ofthe Baptist Church, of everyone
out his funeral, because I said,you know, my grandpa would want
me to say this and I told thatstory and it felt.
(41:16):
It felt yeah, it was, it wasscary, but I felt like I needed
to do it and he would want me todo it and I had several people
you know afterwards come up andjust say you know, thank you for
sharing that and it was just amoment of just Love and
gratitude and I felt like it washis.
You know he speaking of multigenerations.
You know he didn't understandat first and just over the years
(41:40):
, and and and conversation, Ithink we made movement in the
family and then with the churchand so you know, that difference
can can live on with everyonethat was there that day and and
their families, right, if theytell that story too and that's
how you make change and I gottatell you I actually have.
Blaine (41:58):
I don't even have a story.
I have an exact same story withmy grandfather in their church,
baptist in conservative EastTexas.
So it's a beautiful storybecause I think, you know, this
is just two of us and you know,I think everybody can make that
difference and it can spread,because my grandfather did the
same thing.
He just said I have a greatgrandson, boom, boom, boom.
(42:19):
And that's how you can changein people's minds and I think
that's how the movement has madechange over time and it's been
a beautiful thing to see and andit hasn't been what is it
called confrontational, it'sbeen more of like about
understanding and a conversation.
Ryan (42:39):
So we've learned definitely start with listen,
just come from place oflistening.
I think that's kind of thebiggest lesson that we have for
everyone today Don't attack,just listen.
Have a conversation withsomeone next to you and well,
yeah, we'll go.
We'll go from there and that'spart of the reason we've got
this podcast, because we want tolift up those voices, have the
(42:59):
conversation.
So Come at us in the commentswill be.
Will be in the conversationwith you.
Yes, definitely.
Blaine (43:08):
Oh my god, you're crying , get way too emotional, very
emotional.
You've been emotional lately.
You've been an emotional girl,girl.
So like definitely, subscribefor our YouTube channel and
we're also on all the differentpodcasts Apple, spotify, I heart
radio and yeah you, thank youfor that can also email.
Ryan (43:32):
Do tell at coffee with gaze calm.
You can always do that as wellif you have a topic idea or
something you want to be alittle more in private to us.
So, or the DM's.
Blaine (43:41):
Cheers, boys.
Now we're gonna go to the pool.
Yes, yeah, it's time for pooltime.
Ready says bye.
He's so cute.
Look how cute he is oh.
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