A New Look at Relationship Rejection and Character Development

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Ever found yourself entangled in the gnarly web of relationship rejection? Well, you're not alone. Walk with me, Dez, as we explore this unchartered terrain, and realize how similar relationships can be to a job interview. We'll grapple with the harsh reality of not always getting what we want, and how it's crucial to tackle these situations with grace and maturity. I'll also share my personal insights on this challenging subject and how it can be a bitter pill for the soul yet a sweet tonic for character growth.

But the journey doesn't stop there. We'll also get our hands dirty and dig deeper into understanding our desires and why we covet certain things. Ever wondered if having everything you desire can actually be a bane rather than a boon? We'll philosophize on this thought and explore how rejection can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth. By the end of our journey, we aim to provide a fresh perspective and hopefully infuse a new sense of understanding of rejection in relationships. So, buckle up and join the ride as we peel back the layers of desires, wants, and the complex world of rejection.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
You know that's a dope intro song.
Anyway, welcome back to theCome On, you Know podcast.
I'm your host, dez, and youknow I have like 2 million
subscribers and every single oneof them sends me requests for
what to do a show about.

(00:27):
And today's show is aboutrejection and, more specifically
, if you are holding on tosomeone that you want to have a
relationship with and they don'twant you.
So how you know, in my infinitewisdom, I will give you my

(00:49):
opinion about that what to do,what not to do and what I think
about it.
So anyway, I don't have 2million subscribers that was a
joke.
I think I have.
I don't even know how many Ihave.
Probably I'm probably in anegative, I'm probably probably
people that left, but anyway.

(01:09):
So rejection and wanting arelationship with someone that
doesn't want you that it'srejection is, in my opinion,
it's bad for the soul but goodfor the character, if that makes
sense.
So rejection is a thing, but tome it's also just not getting

(01:33):
something that you want and wejust see it as being rejected.
But really, in its essence, tome it's just not getting
something that you want and inturn we say we were rejected.
But I think of it like this Ifwe got everything we wanted, we

(01:54):
wouldn't value anything.
So that's why I think rejectionis bad for the soul but good
for the character, because itbuilds character.
It's like, hey, I know you've,we've all met a person that well
kids that are spoiled, adultsthat are spoiled, people that
have gotten everything that theywanted and they don't value

(02:16):
things as much.
Rejection is not a thing tothem because they don't either
get rejected or they end up justreceiving stuff that they want
people, things, materials, stufflike that.
Anyway, I say I am I am, youknow, well versed in rejection.

(02:43):
I've been rejected by people,jobs, things I don't know,
animals you know what I'm sayingClients.
So I mean, I know a little bitabout rejection or not getting
what I want, and I have a prettydecent character.
It makes me, it makes me valuethe things that I have, the, the

(03:04):
relationships that I have, thestuff that I have worked hard
for or maintained, in a sense,but anyway, so I'm getting a
little off track.
So back on track, so I don't bewhack, being rejected.

(03:26):
I'm going to, I'm going to turnthis into the.
It's going to be like I'm goingdown the relationship road.
So I'm talking in terms ofrelationships.
So wanting someone that may notnecessarily want the same thing
that you want with you, and howto deal with that, how to deal

(03:46):
with that is just really, in itsessence, it is what it is.
If you know what's going on,then you have to put your you
know if you're an adult, becausethis could happen to you know,
at any age teenagers, teenagelove and stuff like that but if
you're an adult, you got to putyour adult hat on and say, hey,

(04:07):
this is the situation, just likeif you were applying to a job.
I hate, I hate.
I hate to talk aboutrelationships like jobs, but
essentially, like it is one,they can be one, you know, a
date turns into an interview ora relationship turns into a duty

(04:27):
, right, just like a job.
But anyway, like it's just likea job, if you don't get hired
for the job that you want, thenyou just, you just don't.
You don't keep applying, or youcan, I guess, because maybe it
wasn't the right time, but a lotof times when it comes to
people liking people, you can'tforce it.

(04:49):
You know what I mean.
You just gotta go with the flow.
It sucks, it's not great, but inessence you gotta think about
it.
It's like you just not gettingsomething that you want and
really that is.
I'm going down another road,I'm going down the side trail,
the bike trail right now.
But in essence you gotta lookat it as what causes pain.

(05:15):
I don't mean like somebodypunching you in the face.
I'm talking about, like,emotional pain, emotional pain
and just hear me out Emotionalpain.
I guess you have no choice butto hear me out, because I'm the
only one talking on this thing.
But emotional pain comes fromjust not getting something that

(05:36):
you want, so it comes at a loss.
So a loss means you don't havesomething that you want to have,
right, and it causes pain andhurt.
And that's where rejection isAt the core of everything.
It's just not having somethingthat you want and dealing with

(05:56):
that and with that it's.
We kind of make up stuff Likerejection, we call it rejection.
It's not rejection, it's nothaving something that you want.
I'm gonna like I said that 13times already, I'm counting.
But that is the essence of itand when you can deal with that,

(06:16):
you have enough character todeal with that and know yourself
and know that is the core issue.
I mean emotional pain is justone thing.
It's not having something thatyou want and that's like knowing
it is the first step of beingable to deal with it.

(06:42):
Like this is how did this becomea serious show?
This is a serious show.
This episode Like this is crazy, but I got it.
I gotta spit that knowledgethough.
I got it.
I'm sharing my knowledge withthe world.
Like this is my gift to you all.
Is my brain.

(07:03):
The stuff that I have in mybrain you need to know because
it's golden.
But anyway, back to the subject.
So dealing with it, um, I don'thave some encyclopedia
Britannica type definition for asolution, it's just really

(07:27):
dealing with it.
It's knowing what the issue is.
That is the core of problemsolving, is knowing what the
problem is right, and then youcould figure out how to attack
it.
It's you knowing that you arenot getting, or you don't have
the ability to get, somethingthat you want, and relationship

(07:50):
wise or person wise.
If you attack that, then that'sthe battle.
You know what I mean.
If you know, if you walk into acandy store and you have
diabetes, you can't have thiscandy bar and you're upset.
The candy bar didn't reject you, you just can't have it for

(08:13):
other reasons, right, I don'tknow if that's a good analogy,
but I'm sticking with it.
But what do you?
Do you adjust?
You say, hey, you know what, Ican't have this candy bar.
I'll just start eating fruit, Iguess, and maybe that'll
substitute.
But when am I going with this?
You know what I'm saying, butdealing with it is a part of me.

(08:37):
Dealing with it is it's noteven dealing with it, it's
dealing with yourself.
You know what I mean.
It really is just dealing withyourself.
Because, yeah, you got to.

(08:58):
If you look at it like, why am Isaying this so much?
I'm unable to get what I want,what I desire right now.
If you look at it like that,it's like, well, maybe I should
just assess my desires.
You start looking at that.
Then it's like, maybe I shouldassess myself, maybe I should

(09:23):
look at this space that I'm in,I mean relationship-wise,
mentally, because everythingthat you want is not in the
space necessarily good for you.
Then you got to look at why doI want this?
Why do I want this person?
Why do I want this candy bar?
Why do I want this new car?
What is it?
Do I just like it?

(09:43):
Am I in my possession, do Ijust want to possess?
You know what I mean?
You got to peel back the layers.
You got to get to the middle ofthat onion.
I'll bet it's still an onion.
You just got to get down, yougot to get down, you got to get

(10:08):
down.
But yeah, I think, man, that waslike some straight up Albert
Einstein Well, not AlbertEinstein, he wasn't.
What is it?
Who's a well-known philosopherI'm spitting straight philosophy
right now, although it is tosum it up because I'm tired of

(10:31):
talking about it, but I stillwant to.
Anyway, it's not rejection,it's you not getting what you
want.
Look at what you want, look atwanting stuff.
Why do you want stuff?
Everything doesn't have to fitin your box.
If you got everything that youwanted, you'd be a spoiled

(10:53):
Millennial.
But I don't know, I don't wantto Joke on millennials, I just
it's because the last show wasabout Gen X, which is like
Probably the best generationever.
But if you got everything youwanted, you you probably would
not.
Your character would take a hit, you not.
You not getting what you want.

(11:15):
Your soul takes a hit, but yourcharacter, you know, becomes
solid and that and that, uh, youknow that that Builds you up
for when you actually get whatyou want.
I mean this, this, you'll be abetter person, and All of that.

(11:36):
So, anyway, I don't mean for itto be a serious show, but every
now and again I got a half one Ihave a serious show.
I gotta spit that philosophybecause I got a lot of things on
the brain and I'm, uh, I'mpretty.
I'm like, I'm, I'm in, like thetop 1% in in Intelligence.

(11:59):
I'll just say that like I'mpretty, I'm pretty smart man,
like I'm so smart, like I drivemyself crazy.
It's like insanity is the whatis it?
Insanity is product ofNon-ignorance, I don't know.

(12:20):
But whatever, I just said, Ijust made it up.
So, anyway, uh, that's all that.