August 2, 2023 • 26 mins
Peeling back the layers of heartbreak, we navigate a journey that's been etched in my personal history. It was a time of emotional chaos, a testament to resilience, and a profound lesson in self-discovery. As we unravel the complexities of heartbreak, we can't ignore the gravity of its impact and the far-reaching consequences. This episode is an honest account of my personal encounter with heartbreak and offers a fresh perspective on managing such emotional hardships.
The scars of heartbreak aren't just badges of a love lost but rather markers of lessons learned. They shape our character, enhance our resilience, and teach us to value quality over quantity in relationships. Hear about a heartfelt story of a relationship that didn't work out and the emotional and mental adjustments that were necessary to get past it. This episode will leave you with the understanding that the true essence of heartbreak is not about succumbing to someone else's control but about learning to rise against adversity. It's a sincere story of the humanizing event of heartbreak, its implications, and the respect it deserves.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to the Come On you Know podcast.
I'm your host.
I will forever be your host.
This whole episode is aboutthat.
Today I want to talk about avery sensitive slash, prominent
(00:32):
slash, it's a thing slash issue.
I want to talk about heartbreak.
So in my age group we'veexperienced it.
No matter who you are, you have, I have.
I don't know why I keepaddressing these serious topics,
(00:53):
but I just want to, I guess.
Well, maybe I don't.
I keep.
I solicit topics to talk about,I'll be honest, from peers and
friends and whoever and whoever,and they always give me serious
(01:15):
topics.
No one says like, yeah, yeah,talk about clowns juggling in
the latest comedy special onwhatever your favorite streaming
services.
It's always some sensitivetopics.
Like Sorry, talk about thesocioeconomic effects of who,
(01:38):
why?
Why you want to have fun.
If you do that for work or ifyou have to keep track for
professional reason or you justdo for entertainment, first of
all, if you do for entertainment, you'll mean but anyway,
heartbreak.
Heartbreak is actually a funtopic because it's a very human
(02:01):
topic and here at the Come Onyou know podcast we try to.
We have a spotty co-host thathe's like where's Waldo?
He's here, he's there.
I don't know where he issupposed to be here now You're
like, yeah, I got stuff to do.
I got to take the trash out,okay, but anyway.
(02:25):
So, like that, that topic isvery it's a very human topic, is
something that has, or it hasthe potential to affect your
entire life.
It's a memory.
Hold on to her meaning.
(02:46):
You don't necessarily forgetheartbreaks.
You can forget happy times, butyou really don't forget hard
times.
In a in a heartbreak is a hardtime.
So I want to talk about dealingwith it, experiencing it.
I know it's not a humoroustopic, but who cares?
(03:09):
You know why not?
Let's dive in.
So I'll speak about myexperience, think about what I
learned and how you can dealwith it, because Every now and
again I get people telling methat, hey, slightly a genius,
you should be in some type ofrecord book or some type.
(03:32):
You should get some type ofaward, the type of trophy.
Again, I don't need a trophy,it just a smile on your face.
That that is my reward, youknow, even though your teeth are
yellow.
But that being said, so,heartbreak.
(03:54):
So I experienced heartbreak andI did not know I experienced it
.
So I was relationship, thatthat that I Thought I was in it
to win it, but I was in it.
Long haul truck driver status,you know, going from coast to
coast, um large-march type ofdeal, shot out to when I shout
(04:15):
out to it.
But alright, p Peewee, herman,I, I Thought I was in and it was
long distance and you know what, she'll never listen to this so
I can talk about it all I want.
Yeah, like I was gonna be theone to move, do the, do the do
(04:40):
just get, you know, go Build thelife and plan and stuff, etc.
Etc.
And I Kind of did.
I moved halfway because it waslong distance.
We continue to talk.
It was a weekend type of deal.
(05:01):
I'll go there on a weekend andplay family and, and I was, I
was building a ring.
It's okay, I'm gonna propose tothis woman Because I thought
that's what she wanted, becauseshe would mention it, she would
talk about it like marriage,this, that, whatever.
(05:23):
Yeah, I could see that.
So I'm trying to plant theseeds around everybody around me
.
I, kid and I was doing the bestthat I could do, working, doing
that, and so I did.
(05:46):
I proposed, and Maybe a coupleof days, so like when I proposed
it was, it was.
You know, it was fresh and newhot topic.
So she wanted to show it off,like, yeah, I'm taking a couple
of days later.
So I took the day I Proposed ona weekend.
(06:07):
I took the Monday off for workso I could stay because I
figured, you know, it'd be ahappy time.
Sorry, I'm a human.
So I have, like what is this?
Gas bubbles and I had some dopelike a shrimp salad, anyway.
(06:36):
So, like a day a couple of dayslater, I figured, you know, she
would Wear the ring to work andshow co-workers of all black.
So she didn't.
She didn't wear the ring towork and this was more or less a
showy person.
So I'm like, hey, you didn'twear your ring to work, was
going with that.
She's like, yeah, I didn't wantto, I don't, I don't think
(07:01):
you're the type of person thatdoesn't want to.
Nonetheless, she's like, yeah,I'm like, well, what's what's
the ad about?
You know, don't, don't, am I?
What is it?
What's it about?
She's like, well, I kind of wishthe rock was bigger and I'm
like All types of records, alltypes of vehicle, like rubber
(07:23):
burns.
It was like, hey, what do youmean?
The rock?
The rock Was not small.
It wasn't some like pee.
We Herman that shot out to whatRP pee?
We heard me, but like, I'm like, hey, I took like a diamond
(07:45):
class.
I learned about the triple C's,color, cut, clarity, all of
that.
So I got like a.
You know it's a very qualitytype of deal.
And and she told me she's like,hey, I would have rather like a
less clarity diamond that wasbigger than Medium-sized.
(08:10):
I'm like, well, this is not asmall diamond.
It's like well, it's so youdon't Respect slash Value,
quality Question mark.
She's like, yeah, I'm like well, you gotta explain the end to
me, so, anyway.
So, and Shortly thereafter shesaid, hey, why don't?
(08:34):
And I will never forget thisline because it was very, it was
a very well stated line.
She's like hey, I Don't loveyou enough to sustain a marriage
.
I'm like that is a very Like.
There was some editors involvedwith that line.
That's very, that's very good.
(08:55):
I respect the English in thatline, you know.
And so I'm like okay, I gotcha,I got just like.
That was strange because, youknow, previously in this entire
relationship you were Kind oflike the cheerleader for
marriage.
So once it became real, you'relike well, I don't want to be
(09:15):
real People of people, and Iunderstand that.
I'm one for Adjusting to yoursituation, so I'm not gonna be
like oh what, 15 months ago yousaid this like.
I'm not gonna hold you to it.
If you change your mind, I getit.
You know, we're not.
We're not that, that's ourgoals.
(09:36):
So, anyway, that was myheartbreak is like Bum, bum, bum
Split, it's like.
But I realized something,though, and we have to be real.
This is the come on, you knowPodcasts like come on, you know
let's, let's.
We can be honest.
Don't be afraid to be honest.
(09:57):
I Don't think, well, no, I'mnot gonna say I don't think so.
I wasn't.
My marriage wasn't her.
The marriage that I proposedwasn't her.
It was for the situation.
And Don't, you don't like.
I see you, I see you.
I see you like, trying to like.
(10:17):
I See you as an audience memberor whatever you are, or
Subscriber, or first-timelistener.
I don't know what I'm supposedto say.
I see you trying to like dodgethat title or what I'm saying.
But that is a thing.
(10:38):
That is a thing.
And Don't, don't try to actlike that's not a thing, like
where this is we, we, we will beclear, we will be clear and we
will be One hundo.
Come on, you know it is what itis.
I was more so in love with thesituation.
(10:58):
So my heart was broken becausethe situation to me was broken.
My situation was, you know,going back to where I'm from,
but on blood, it was a personthat I was familiar with.
It's like, okay, roots, I couldwater some roots, and that's a
(11:22):
reference to gardening, one ofmy hobbies, and we're gonna get
into a, we're gonna, I'm gonnacreate a garden in mishaps and
unmishaps episode.
But I realize it like you know,you, you, when you step outside
yourself and you see what'sreally going on, you, you know
(11:43):
what's going on.
You just don't want to addressit or Just admit it or adhere to
what the right thing to do is.
I was more so in love with thesituations.
Like, hey, I'm slightly youngIn love and I want to build
(12:04):
something and this person is mycatalyst and that's where it is.
I want to get back to where Iwant to go back to Experses my
catalyst I could build, I couldbuild it, I could be involved, I
could press forward and that'swhat it was.
(12:25):
So my heartbreak when shepulled the plug on it, 90% of my
heartbreak was because I didn'tpull the plug on it and Don't
you like get, don't give me theside-eye.
We all know that's the thing.
If the other person pulls theplug, a Lot of that is because
(12:45):
you.
It's like.
I'm not an ego person.
I don't.
I have.
I have negative 10 egos, like awhatever, but it's still a gut
punch.
It still is a gut punch andthat was a gut punch to me
(13:05):
because I was building asituation around this person and
we, we all do it man, woman,all of that.
We build situations aroundpeople as as as much as we, you.
You can be a realist, idealistin Between whatever, whatever
(13:28):
that will be real idealists, Idon't know.
But we all have a picture thatwe paint that the other person
doesn't know about, and we arehesitant to admit what that
picture is.
Sometimes we do.
Sometimes you know there'speople that are Bad, bad, want
this, but about you, give it tothem, and that eyes are bigger
(13:50):
than their stomach.
That's another story, but weall have a picture.
No one is walking out hereblindly like I don't know what's
going on.
Whatever happens happens.
People may say that, but they,they want certain things that
happen.
Right, but once I experiencedthat when she pulled the plug, a
(14:11):
lot of that was because Ididn't pull the plugs like hmm,
hmm, yeah.
So she, she took an eraser Onmy canvas erase, erase, erase,
erase, erase right side, rightside, right side, right side,
left side, left side, left sideerased, erased, mad.
You know, I'm over here, youknow, combining oils, slapping,
(14:38):
slapping.
What do you call art paint?
Oh, like mad greens, greennumber seven, don't tossing
green number seven on as she'serasing it.
But that was.
That was a big deal, andespecially because I was
(14:59):
Assumably all and I was.
I was assumably all and my thepicture that I was painting.
So this is what happened.
I Never dealt with heartbreakprior to that.
I was always young.
My relationships prior to thatI Didn't have many was like high
(15:21):
school.
Then, after you know they're alittle old, there's like in is
in college.
You know, girl, try to hit mewith a car.
So it's like dodging cars.
But I was never that was myfirst Thinking seriously want to
(15:42):
propose Building a ring, takinga diamond class.
This is what I'm gonna do, thisis what life's gonna be like,
houses, you know all that stuff.
But so it affected.
I didn't know and this is why Iwanted to talk.
(16:05):
I'm taking the wrong world totalk about this, but this is the
it's like.
This is the significant parthow it affects you.
It affects you, it affects it's.
It's an heart issue, but itaffects your brain.
(16:27):
Our brains are, are.
It's our.
That's the cockpit Right.
The heart can be the gas.
If you will not a physician,but I'm smart I Did not realize
how it would affect meemotionally.
I don't mean, and one that's,this is another, this is another
(16:48):
.
When I say emotional, that'sanother episode.
So to me, emotional just meansupset.
Someone says, hey, dispersionis emotional.
That just means they expressbeing upset.
But like, I Couldn't listen tocertain music, like I've never
experienced that before and I'mquite a regular dude, like you
(17:11):
know, dirt, whatever, uppercuts,guns, video games, uh, ranch
dressing, all that boots.
But I'm like, why can't I listento this song?
Can't listen to a song, I'mthinking about what I could have
had and it affected me.
(17:33):
And it was a very realexperience.
It wasn't something thathappened just when I went to
sleep or woke up, or you know,if the weather was too crazy.
I'm like, oh man, I wish I waswith her.
Like no, this was like aneveryday thing and and I was
(17:55):
like man, like I couldn't eventalk to certain people because
it's like, yeah, your first namehas the first letter of her
first name, it was.
It was really like that, solike that is a thing.
That is when I realized it wasa thing, and you know how I
(18:15):
dealt with it.
I didn't, I didn't I let itovertake me and I mean I wasn't
paralyzed.
It still, I'm a veryresponsible person, so I just I
did what I had to do, but Iwasn't suited for managing it.
(18:36):
If that sounds, if that youknow what I mean, if you, if you
know what I mean, like, come on, you know, like, how do you
manage that?
How do you manage that if younever manage that?
Like experience is a thing.
Like people that experienceheartbreak all the time, they
build up a heartbreak type ofcharacter, and that's what I
(18:57):
noticed.
Like I wasn't a heartbreak typeof character.
I was a never experiencedheartbreak type of person,
because I didn't.
I was never in that.
Uh, like I, I Like Iexperienced breakups, but not
(19:17):
heartbreak.
That is a whole new realm.
That's like level 10.
That's like fighting the bossin the video game.
It's like oh well, you do, youjust do like, do like mad, mad.
I don't know where, where didthat hook come from?
(19:38):
Like but a bump, but there'sthat.
So I couldn't listen to certainsongs, I couldn't talk to
certain people, I couldn't playit out in my mind because you,
you could never.
You can play things out of yourmind, but it doesn't.
And then you, you don't knowwhat the other person is going
(20:01):
to, you don't know the movesthey're going to make.
You can't, you can anticipatewhat they're going to do.
But people are people.
You may assume they're going togo right, because everything
says they're going to go right.
They go left.
But anyway, dealing withheartbreak, I'm wiser now and
I'm straight, 100% wiser now.
(20:25):
This is, this is how I think youshould deal with heartbreak.
First of all, at this age andI'm talking about folks my age,
the Gen X is the greatestgeneration I'm renaming us.
I'm renaming us.
We see it coming.
We see it coming and and we,for the most part, we tend to be
(20:52):
more protective.
I like talking to people my ageand older.
We're a little bit moreprotective, we.
We know the possibilities, youknow, of successful
relationships that don't leadinto heartbreak or or just
whatever you know, not soserious relationships that don't
(21:13):
lead to irritation.
That could be, like you know,kind of a comparable, comparable
, comparable, comparable,comparable, blee, comparable,
blee synonymous.
You know what I'm talking about.
(21:33):
So, like we tend to like, whatI notice is is a lot of people
try to be mean to combatmeanness, and that's not a thing
you shouldn't.
You shouldn't do that Like you,don't be mean to me to make me
(21:53):
thinking.
You know, thinking you're goingto make me, you know, like,
like you, but anyway, so like wedo that to try to not be a
quote unquote victim ofheartbreak.
Heartbreak is not bad.
It's not bad because you knowwhat it means.
It means you have a heart.
(22:14):
It really means you have aheart.
I learned that I'm like at thatpoint I did not know.
When I experienced what Iexperienced, I did not know I
had the ability to feel that way.
I didn't know.
It's not about controls.
It's not like all this womanhad control over me.
It's learning yourself.
It's learning how you react toadverse situations.
(22:37):
There's no different than beingin a car accident, being in a
war, being in a you experience asudden loss, extraordinary loss
, extraordinary loss, somethingthat happens to you that you
don't expect that is asignificant emotional event.
(23:03):
Well, that is heartbreak.
But all we have are otherpeople.
Heartbreak is almost the most.
I think it's more or less likethe most humanizing event.
(23:24):
I guess I'm making the wordsdon't care, but it's a thing.
How do you not experienceheartbreak?
That's what I'm leaning towards, because if you don't
(23:44):
experience heartbreak, you don'tvalue heart, you don't value
people.
This is how you deal with it.
You don't.
You go through it.
You recognize it.
You understand yourself, youunderstand your situation, you
understand the other.
Why is everything so serious?
(24:06):
I'm trying not to be serious,trying to be unserious, like the
opposite of serious, like mad,not serious.
That's the thing.
My advice is like hey, meetsomebody, talk to them, love
them, get your heart broken,understand that situation,
(24:28):
understand that person,understand that person's views,
understand your views,understand what didn't fit,
respect it, not the heartbreak,not if somebody did something
crazy to you, like try to hityou with a car, like I
experienced, but understand thatthey may have felt a certain
(24:52):
way about being with you and youfelt a certain way and maybe it
didn't jive up or link up orsync up, and all of that.
Once you respect it.
It's like okay, okay, it's notabout you, it's not about them,
(25:14):
it's not about the situation,it's about all three.
Once you could step out of that, it's like okay, okay, like
it's.
I don't want to say it's lesspainful, because it shouldn't be
less painful, because if youtry to, if it becomes less
painful to you, you're apsychopath.
I don't care if you're a newlistener or listener.
(25:37):
I'm telling you that If it'sless painful or if it doesn't
feel, if it doesn't feel likeanything, it feels like a, the
unflavoured jello, than you're apsychopath and I'm charging you
with that.
But just respect it.
(25:58):
Respect it and understand whereit's coming from.
All people.
Once you've realized thatpeople are people like,
heartbreak is not so hard todeal with, because that's all we
have.
All we have is heartbreak,people, air and traffic.
(26:21):
So I got that Get down.
Welcome back to the Come On you Know podcast.
I'm your host.
I will forever be your host.
This whole episode is aboutthat.
Today I want to talk about avery sensitive slash, prominent
(00:32):
slash, it's a thing slash issue.
I want to talk about heartbreak.
So in my age group we'veexperienced it.
No matter who you are, you have, I have.
I don't know why I keepaddressing these serious topics,
(00:53):
but I just want to, I guess.
Well, maybe I don't.
I keep.
I solicit topics to talk about,I'll be honest, from peers and
friends and whoever and whoever,and they always give me serious
(01:15):
topics.
No one says like, yeah, yeah,talk about clowns juggling in
the latest comedy special onwhatever your favorite streaming
services.
It's always some sensitivetopics.
Like Sorry, talk about thesocioeconomic effects of who,
(01:38):
why?
Why you want to have fun.
If you do that for work or ifyou have to keep track for
professional reason or you justdo for entertainment, first of
all, if you do for entertainment, you'll mean but anyway,
heartbreak.
Heartbreak is actually a funtopic because it's a very human
(02:01):
topic and here at the Come Onyou know podcast we try to.
We have a spotty co-host thathe's like where's Waldo?
He's here, he's there.
I don't know where he issupposed to be here now You're
like, yeah, I got stuff to do.
I got to take the trash out,okay, but anyway.
(02:25):
So, like that, that topic isvery it's a very human topic, is
something that has, or it hasthe potential to affect your
entire life.
It's a memory.
Hold on to her meaning.
(02:46):
You don't necessarily forgetheartbreaks.
You can forget happy times, butyou really don't forget hard
times.
In a in a heartbreak is a hardtime.
So I want to talk about dealingwith it, experiencing it.
I know it's not a humoroustopic, but who cares?
(03:09):
You know why not?
Let's dive in.
So I'll speak about myexperience, think about what I
learned and how you can dealwith it, because Every now and
again I get people telling methat, hey, slightly a genius,
you should be in some type ofrecord book or some type.
(03:32):
You should get some type ofaward, the type of trophy.
Again, I don't need a trophy,it just a smile on your face.
That that is my reward, youknow, even though your teeth are
yellow.
But that being said, so,heartbreak.
(03:54):
So I experienced heartbreak andI did not know I experienced it
.
So I was relationship, thatthat that I Thought I was in it
to win it, but I was in it.
Long haul truck driver status,you know, going from coast to
coast, um large-march type ofdeal, shot out to when I shout
(04:15):
out to it.
But alright, p Peewee, herman,I, I Thought I was in and it was
long distance and you know what, she'll never listen to this so
I can talk about it all I want.
Yeah, like I was gonna be theone to move, do the, do the do
(04:40):
just get, you know, go Build thelife and plan and stuff, etc.
Etc.
And I Kind of did.
I moved halfway because it waslong distance.
We continue to talk.
It was a weekend type of deal.
(05:01):
I'll go there on a weekend andplay family and, and I was, I
was building a ring.
It's okay, I'm gonna propose tothis woman Because I thought
that's what she wanted, becauseshe would mention it, she would
talk about it like marriage,this, that, whatever.
(05:23):
Yeah, I could see that.
So I'm trying to plant theseeds around everybody around me
.
I, kid and I was doing the bestthat I could do, working, doing
that, and so I did.
(05:46):
I proposed, and Maybe a coupleof days, so like when I proposed
it was, it was.
You know, it was fresh and newhot topic.
So she wanted to show it off,like, yeah, I'm taking a couple
of days later.
So I took the day I Proposed ona weekend.
(06:07):
I took the Monday off for workso I could stay because I
figured, you know, it'd be ahappy time.
Sorry, I'm a human.
So I have, like what is this?
Gas bubbles and I had some dopelike a shrimp salad, anyway.
(06:36):
So, like a day a couple of dayslater, I figured, you know, she
would Wear the ring to work andshow co-workers of all black.
So she didn't.
She didn't wear the ring towork and this was more or less a
showy person.
So I'm like, hey, you didn'twear your ring to work, was
going with that.
She's like, yeah, I didn't wantto, I don't, I don't think
(07:01):
you're the type of person thatdoesn't want to.
Nonetheless, she's like, yeah,I'm like, well, what's what's
the ad about?
You know, don't, don't, am I?
What is it?
What's it about?
She's like, well, I kind of wishthe rock was bigger and I'm
like All types of records, alltypes of vehicle, like rubber
(07:23):
burns.
It was like, hey, what do youmean?
The rock?
The rock Was not small.
It wasn't some like pee.
We Herman that shot out to whatRP pee?
We heard me, but like, I'm like, hey, I took like a diamond
(07:45):
class.
I learned about the triple C's,color, cut, clarity, all of
that.
So I got like a.
You know it's a very qualitytype of deal.
And and she told me she's like,hey, I would have rather like a
less clarity diamond that wasbigger than Medium-sized.
(08:10):
I'm like, well, this is not asmall diamond.
It's like well, it's so youdon't Respect slash Value,
quality Question mark.
She's like, yeah, I'm like well, you gotta explain the end to
me, so, anyway.
So, and Shortly thereafter shesaid, hey, why don't?
(08:34):
And I will never forget thisline because it was very, it was
a very well stated line.
She's like hey, I Don't loveyou enough to sustain a marriage
.
I'm like that is a very Like.
There was some editors involvedwith that line.
That's very, that's very good.
(08:55):
I respect the English in thatline, you know.
And so I'm like okay, I gotcha,I got just like.
That was strange because, youknow, previously in this entire
relationship you were Kind oflike the cheerleader for
marriage.
So once it became real, you'relike well, I don't want to be
(09:15):
real People of people, and Iunderstand that.
I'm one for Adjusting to yoursituation, so I'm not gonna be
like oh what, 15 months ago yousaid this like.
I'm not gonna hold you to it.
If you change your mind, I getit.
You know, we're not.
We're not that, that's ourgoals.
(09:36):
So, anyway, that was myheartbreak is like Bum, bum, bum
Split, it's like.
But I realized something,though, and we have to be real.
This is the come on, you knowPodcasts like come on, you know
let's, let's.
We can be honest.
Don't be afraid to be honest.
(09:57):
I Don't think, well, no, I'mnot gonna say I don't think so.
I wasn't.
My marriage wasn't her.
The marriage that I proposedwasn't her.
It was for the situation.
And Don't, you don't like.
I see you, I see you.
I see you like, trying to like.
(10:17):
I See you as an audience memberor whatever you are, or
Subscriber, or first-timelistener.
I don't know what I'm supposedto say.
I see you trying to like dodgethat title or what I'm saying.
But that is a thing.
(10:38):
That is a thing.
And Don't, don't try to actlike that's not a thing, like
where this is we, we, we will beclear, we will be clear and we
will be One hundo.
Come on, you know it is what itis.
I was more so in love with thesituation.
(10:58):
So my heart was broken becausethe situation to me was broken.
My situation was, you know,going back to where I'm from,
but on blood, it was a personthat I was familiar with.
It's like, okay, roots, I couldwater some roots, and that's a
(11:22):
reference to gardening, one ofmy hobbies, and we're gonna get
into a, we're gonna, I'm gonnacreate a garden in mishaps and
unmishaps episode.
But I realize it like you know,you, you, when you step outside
yourself and you see what'sreally going on, you, you know
(11:43):
what's going on.
You just don't want to addressit or Just admit it or adhere to
what the right thing to do is.
I was more so in love with thesituations.
Like, hey, I'm slightly youngIn love and I want to build
(12:04):
something and this person is mycatalyst and that's where it is.
I want to get back to where Iwant to go back to Experses my
catalyst I could build, I couldbuild it, I could be involved, I
could press forward and that'swhat it was.
(12:25):
So my heartbreak when shepulled the plug on it, 90% of my
heartbreak was because I didn'tpull the plug on it and Don't
you like get, don't give me theside-eye.
We all know that's the thing.
If the other person pulls theplug, a Lot of that is because
(12:45):
you.
It's like.
I'm not an ego person.
I don't.
I have.
I have negative 10 egos, like awhatever, but it's still a gut
punch.
It still is a gut punch andthat was a gut punch to me
(13:05):
because I was building asituation around this person and
we, we all do it man, woman,all of that.
We build situations aroundpeople as as as much as we, you.
You can be a realist, idealistin Between whatever, whatever
(13:28):
that will be real idealists, Idon't know.
But we all have a picture thatwe paint that the other person
doesn't know about, and we arehesitant to admit what that
picture is.
Sometimes we do.
Sometimes you know there'speople that are Bad, bad, want
this, but about you, give it tothem, and that eyes are bigger
(13:50):
than their stomach.
That's another story, but weall have a picture.
No one is walking out hereblindly like I don't know what's
going on.
Whatever happens happens.
People may say that, but they,they want certain things that
happen.
Right, but once I experiencedthat when she pulled the plug, a
(14:11):
lot of that was because Ididn't pull the plugs like hmm,
hmm, yeah.
So she, she took an eraser Onmy canvas erase, erase, erase,
erase, erase right side, rightside, right side, right side,
left side, left side, left sideerased, erased, mad.
You know, I'm over here, youknow, combining oils, slapping,
(14:38):
slapping.
What do you call art paint?
Oh, like mad greens, greennumber seven, don't tossing
green number seven on as she'serasing it.
But that was.
That was a big deal, andespecially because I was
(14:59):
Assumably all and I was.
I was assumably all and my thepicture that I was painting.
So this is what happened.
I Never dealt with heartbreakprior to that.
I was always young.
My relationships prior to thatI Didn't have many was like high
(15:21):
school.
Then, after you know they're alittle old, there's like in is
in college.
You know, girl, try to hit mewith a car.
So it's like dodging cars.
But I was never that was myfirst Thinking seriously want to
(15:42):
propose Building a ring, takinga diamond class.
This is what I'm gonna do, thisis what life's gonna be like,
houses, you know all that stuff.
But so it affected.
I didn't know and this is why Iwanted to talk.
(16:05):
I'm taking the wrong world totalk about this, but this is the
it's like.
This is the significant parthow it affects you.
It affects you, it affects it's.
It's an heart issue, but itaffects your brain.
(16:27):
Our brains are, are.
It's our.
That's the cockpit Right.
The heart can be the gas.
If you will not a physician,but I'm smart I Did not realize
how it would affect meemotionally.
I don't mean, and one that's,this is another, this is another
(16:48):
.
When I say emotional, that'sanother episode.
So to me, emotional just meansupset.
Someone says, hey, dispersionis emotional.
That just means they expressbeing upset.
But like, I Couldn't listen tocertain music, like I've never
experienced that before and I'mquite a regular dude, like you
(17:11):
know, dirt, whatever, uppercuts,guns, video games, uh, ranch
dressing, all that boots.
But I'm like, why can't I listento this song?
Can't listen to a song, I'mthinking about what I could have
had and it affected me.
(17:33):
And it was a very realexperience.
It wasn't something thathappened just when I went to
sleep or woke up, or you know,if the weather was too crazy.
I'm like, oh man, I wish I waswith her.
Like no, this was like aneveryday thing and and I was
(17:55):
like man, like I couldn't eventalk to certain people because
it's like, yeah, your first namehas the first letter of her
first name, it was.
It was really like that, solike that is a thing.
That is when I realized it wasa thing, and you know how I
(18:15):
dealt with it.
I didn't, I didn't I let itovertake me and I mean I wasn't
paralyzed.
It still, I'm a veryresponsible person, so I just I
did what I had to do, but Iwasn't suited for managing it.
(18:36):
If that sounds, if that youknow what I mean, if you, if you
know what I mean, like, come on, you know, like, how do you
manage that?
How do you manage that if younever manage that?
Like experience is a thing.
Like people that experienceheartbreak all the time, they
build up a heartbreak type ofcharacter, and that's what I
(18:57):
noticed.
Like I wasn't a heartbreak typeof character.
I was a never experiencedheartbreak type of person,
because I didn't.
I was never in that.
Uh, like I, I Like Iexperienced breakups, but not
(19:17):
heartbreak.
That is a whole new realm.
That's like level 10.
That's like fighting the bossin the video game.
It's like oh well, you do, youjust do like, do like mad, mad.
I don't know where, where didthat hook come from?
(19:38):
Like but a bump, but there'sthat.
So I couldn't listen to certainsongs, I couldn't talk to
certain people, I couldn't playit out in my mind because you,
you could never.
You can play things out of yourmind, but it doesn't.
And then you, you don't knowwhat the other person is going
(20:01):
to, you don't know the movesthey're going to make.
You can't, you can anticipatewhat they're going to do.
But people are people.
You may assume they're going togo right, because everything
says they're going to go right.
They go left.
But anyway, dealing withheartbreak, I'm wiser now and
I'm straight, 100% wiser now.
(20:25):
This is, this is how I think youshould deal with heartbreak.
First of all, at this age andI'm talking about folks my age,
the Gen X is the greatestgeneration I'm renaming us.
I'm renaming us.
We see it coming.
We see it coming and and we,for the most part, we tend to be
(20:52):
more protective.
I like talking to people my ageand older.
We're a little bit moreprotective, we.
We know the possibilities, youknow, of successful
relationships that don't leadinto heartbreak or or just
whatever you know, not soserious relationships that don't
(21:13):
lead to irritation.
That could be, like you know,kind of a comparable, comparable
, comparable, comparable,comparable, blee, comparable,
blee synonymous.
You know what I'm talking about.
(21:33):
So, like we tend to like, whatI notice is is a lot of people
try to be mean to combatmeanness, and that's not a thing
you shouldn't.
You shouldn't do that Like you,don't be mean to me to make me
(21:53):
thinking.
You know, thinking you're goingto make me, you know, like,
like you, but anyway, so like wedo that to try to not be a
quote unquote victim ofheartbreak.
Heartbreak is not bad.
It's not bad because you knowwhat it means.
It means you have a heart.
(22:14):
It really means you have aheart.
I learned that I'm like at thatpoint I did not know.
When I experienced what Iexperienced, I did not know I
had the ability to feel that way.
I didn't know.
It's not about controls.
It's not like all this womanhad control over me.
It's learning yourself.
It's learning how you react toadverse situations.
(22:37):
There's no different than beingin a car accident, being in a
war, being in a you experience asudden loss, extraordinary loss
, extraordinary loss, somethingthat happens to you that you
don't expect that is asignificant emotional event.
(23:03):
Well, that is heartbreak.
But all we have are otherpeople.
Heartbreak is almost the most.
I think it's more or less likethe most humanizing event.
(23:24):
I guess I'm making the wordsdon't care, but it's a thing.
How do you not experienceheartbreak?
That's what I'm leaning towards, because if you don't
(23:44):
experience heartbreak, you don'tvalue heart, you don't value
people.
This is how you deal with it.
You don't.
You go through it.
You recognize it.
You understand yourself, youunderstand your situation, you
understand the other.
Why is everything so serious?
(24:06):
I'm trying not to be serious,trying to be unserious, like the
opposite of serious, like mad,not serious.
That's the thing.
My advice is like hey, meetsomebody, talk to them, love
them, get your heart broken,understand that situation,
(24:28):
understand that person,understand that person's views,
understand your views,understand what didn't fit,
respect it, not the heartbreak,not if somebody did something
crazy to you, like try to hityou with a car, like I
experienced, but understand thatthey may have felt a certain
(24:52):
way about being with you and youfelt a certain way and maybe it
didn't jive up or link up orsync up, and all of that.
Once you respect it.
It's like okay, okay, it's notabout you, it's not about them,
(25:14):
it's not about the situation,it's about all three.
Once you could step out of that, it's like okay, okay, like
it's.
I don't want to say it's lesspainful, because it shouldn't be
less painful, because if youtry to, if it becomes less
painful to you, you're apsychopath.
I don't care if you're a newlistener or listener.
(25:37):
I'm telling you that If it'sless painful or if it doesn't
feel, if it doesn't feel likeanything, it feels like a, the
unflavoured jello, than you're apsychopath and I'm charging you
with that.
But just respect it.
(25:58):
Respect it and understand whereit's coming from.
All people.
Once you've realized thatpeople are people like,
heartbreak is not so hard todeal with, because that's all we
have.
All we have is heartbreak,people, air and traffic.
(26:21):
So I got that Get down.
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