October 15, 2023 • 20 mins
Ever wondered why your best friend suddenly stops talking after a squabble? Or why your buddy seems unfazed by your harsh banter? We're cracking open the mystery of friendships, navigating the intriguing contrasts between how men and women relate, resolve disputes and manage these precious bonds. Be prepared to learn the art of balancing preservation of feelings while fostering honesty, and discover the impact of pettiness on bonds, and when it's crucial to bridge gaps.
Brace yourself for a deep dive into the core of friendships in the second part of our discussion. We're not just talking about the differences; we're picking apart similarities too. Get set to appreciate that respect and understanding supersede disparities in food choices, fitness preferences, sex, race, and even gender. Tune in for a roller coaster ride of personal anecdotes, sprinkled with humor, and packed with life-altering lessons. Let's walk together on this enlightening journey exploring the realm of friendships.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
What up?
Welcome back to the Come On,you Know podcast.
I'm your host with the most.
So, um, a little.
On cloud nine, my jets won.
We beat the Eagles Eagles.
You should have done better,but we did better and we won.
So how about that?
(00:30):
Go home, go home, back toPhiladelphia, southern New
Jersey or wherever Philadelphiais.
Bye, bye, not fly Eagles, flyBye, bye, eagles, bye.
But there's that.
So, yeah, I have a little bitof energy to do a show, do an
(00:54):
epi.
Yeah, my jets won against oneof, if not the best team in the
NFL.
I know a lot of.
You don't care, but I care andmy boys, my gang green, my the
green line, took them out athome.
(01:17):
What a high.
We did it.
We just won a Super Bowl.
We're done, we're done, we'redone.
Season is over.
Championship game was wontonight.
We're done, we're good.
We're good.
We have rings.
We have rings now.
We're good, anyway.
(01:39):
So I wanted to talk about, uh, Ihad a decent day, well, with
this win, it was over the top.
But I wanted to talk about thedifference, like friendship.
I know I made an episode aboutfriendship before.
This is a.
(02:00):
This is different.
The differences in friendship.
I don't.
I don't like to get into themen and women thing and but
women Like with womenfriendships and men with men
friendships is different.
So I wanted to talk about that,got a little insight on that
(02:23):
topic or or that being a thingand and yeah, that I thought
about it.
Like my you know, my friends,my besties I have.
I have a female friend that isone of my besties ever.
I was in her wedding and Ofcourse, I have male besties, and
(02:45):
Men and women can be friends.
But I think there is adifferent dynamic between men
being men friends and womenbeing friends with women, and
it's it's from observation inlife, you know, and I'm I don't
(03:07):
I don't like to toot my own horn, but I'm whatever the genius,
whatever qualifies you to be agenius, I'm pretty sure qualify
to be a genius, and so I Justwant to talk about my
observations and talk about myperspective and what it is.
(03:29):
So, anyway, it's about howWomen are Friends with women and
men are friends with men, thedifferences.
So I am an expert on how menare being friends with men, so I
(03:49):
think here's his one hugedifference.
So men are more Harsh with eachother, and harsh is subjective
because people Can translateStatements, opinions,
(04:10):
differently.
But you know, I have a bestfriend and and everything I do
if it's not over the top or ifit's not Meeting Whatever his
mark, he's like all your punk,your bill, or blah, blah, blah.
It's like, yeah, just because Iuse dish soap instead of Licking
(04:31):
my plate and putting it, youknow, in a dishwasher, oh,
you're punk, you didn't do this.
It's like, well, pardon me,pardon me.
It's like, okay, I Get it.
And I, and I believe I believelike, well, you know, we would
just bread that way and I'mdifferent generation, a little
(04:54):
traditional, back in a day.
But it's like, hey, you didn'twake up with your boots on your,
you know, laced up on your feetautomatically, so you're punk.
But I don't think it.
It works that way.
But I understand what he'ssaying and that's my friend and
and love him to death and that'show it works.
(05:14):
And I believe that women on the,on the opposite, and they kind
of give the opposite type ofcriticism and advice, they may
say, oh yeah, you do look goodin this, or everything is Is
good, when you really don't.
They won't degrade you, butthey'll give you maybe like a
(05:40):
false Positive acknowledgementof something and I don't want to
say truth, but Like I don'twant to say like men are more
truthful, because I canguarantee a lot of people will
disagree with me.
But I think we we don't like weassociate what women do with
(06:08):
women.
So like if my boy is like, ohman, you look good in that, like
he's not gonna say that,because that's what a woman
would do, like would tell herfriend like hey, you look great
in that.
Right, we're like, oh like, hey, you look dumb, and but it's
okay, let's go out anyway.
And a woman is like, hey, youlook fabulous, when she doesn't
(06:30):
really look fabulous.
So I think the relationshipbetween like women and women as
friends and men and men asfriends, it's different and I
think it's about more soprotecting feelings and kind of
(06:51):
dodging accountability, if thatmakes sense.
Like I think a girl as a friendwill not, will withhold telling
her friend if she's not, youknow, I mean good friends will
just kind of tell you whatever,whenever, but I think they will
spare her feelings.
(07:12):
Girl as a friend will spare hergirlfriend's feelings just to
kind of keep it going.
And then a dude as a friend isnot concerned about feelings but
they're concerned about actionsLike hey, you look dumb, change
, let's go out and just to kindof keep things in motion.
(07:33):
But that's just the dynamic Ibelieve to be.
I could be wrong, but I'mreally wrong.
We can go with that, but Ithink, I mean, it's always room
for improvement in bothrelationships.
You know, I think a male bestieto another male bestie can keep
(07:58):
it in the holster a little bit,just like you know not blow
things up immediately.
And I, you know I am a you canaccuse me of doing it Like I
talk crap to my boys all thetime.
Like that's how we start offimmediately on the phone.
It's like yo, man, shut up.
It's like I called you.
(08:19):
Are you gonna talk to me?
In the first thing you say shutup.
That's just how we roll.
And you know, female and female, I believe they could.
The first thing they saydoesn't have to be hey, girl,
hey, the sky is, you know, blueand we could blow up a bus like,
hey, what are you going through?
(08:39):
Let's, you know, put a stake ina grass, start from here and
move forward.
There's that.
So that is my perspective.
What else?
Like I believe that, like Idon't want to be.
(09:05):
I'm not trying to be insultingto any of the like situations or
any of the scenarios that Imentioned, like women being best
friends with women and menbeing best friends with women.
It's not at all like acriticizing session, it's just
an observation.
But whatever, I think also,what I believe and you can tell
(09:32):
me if I'm wrong is that if awoman fights with her best
friend, which is a woman, Ithink they can be a little bit
more petty than men.
Like men us, my best friends wefight, but it'll be over Once
we fight.
(09:52):
That is the solution towhatever is going on.
We fight by the bang, it's done.
Then we're still friends.
Or if we don't talk for weeks,when we talk, it doesn't even
matter, we didn't skip a beat.
I believe women do not.
(10:13):
They take the indirect route.
Like, hey, we're fighting, sowe're fighting, that's where we
stand, that is where we stand.
We are fighting, so we arefighting.
So that's it, not fighting toget it over with, but this is
(10:34):
our place, this is ourpredicament, this is where we
are, so we're fighting, and Ithink that is the main
difference.
Like, hey, I can, unless afriend that I'm just done with,
(10:56):
like you know I cut the cordlike cable, like unless that
friend is like completely erasedout of my life, I can talk to
him like we didn't miss a beat.
I don't think women can do thatand you can tell me otherwise.
(11:19):
If that's not the truth, I'mmaking up crap.
If I'm just delusional which Ireally am, I'm only delusional
about Jets wins Just let me know.
But I think that women kind ofhold on to hey, we're not
(11:39):
talking, so we're not talking.
That's our status.
We're not talking.
Hey, barbara and I had a fight.
That's how it is when I talk it.
So guys are just, you know,we'll say we'll think hey, you
(12:02):
know, I didn't talk to my boy ina couple of weeks.
Whatever blah blah he calls, Icall.
So hey, what's up, man, what'sup?
Just tap in blah blah, we catchup blah, blah.
And I think that is very commonwith guys and it's very
uncommon with females.
I think if a female has nottalked to a friend in a while,
(12:24):
that's the status they're in.
They're not talking.
So what else?
How do you make up?
And what is like, how petty ishow petty, what is too petty in
regards to a friendship andfight in and stuff like that.
(12:46):
So how do you make up Withdudes?
We don't make up, we, just we.
We like straight up, like youknow, call and like yo, what's
up?
That was the last six months,dude.
You know, I had a flat tire.
I won a couple of games inMadden, rained a couple of times
(13:06):
, boom, I was like okay, samething happened to me.
I think women make up in subtle, more subtle ways, like hey,
I'll send, like, send you a linkto an Instagram snippet.
I don't know TikTok posts and Idon't know show like pictures
(13:31):
of I got my nails done and theorange was on point.
I think that's the differenceand it's a difference.
Neither one is is better orworse, but it's just a
difference and I think that'sthe thing.
And you know what I wanted tomake, mention to like if males
(13:55):
and females can be friends.
My answer is yes.
Like I have a best friend she'sa female and like we've talked
about life a lot and we've gonethrough life and we talked about
dating and we talked aboutprofessional life and what we've
gone through.
We talked about like racism,whatever is pick, picket, move
(14:17):
is.
We've lived in different citiesand talked about that and when
you really value somebody as aperson.
It doesn't matter what, whatlike external differences they
have.
Rather it's sex, race, foodchoices, physical fitness
(14:40):
choices, I don't know, I'm justmaking up stuff, but it doesn't
Like.
Once you hit that maturitylevel and respect and understand
a person for who they are andwhat they are, you can
definitely maintain like afriendship.
That gets the thing and you canvalue or respect that
(15:02):
friendship.
But, yeah, but, and I'velearned, I've learned a lot
through my friend that's afemale and that is how I'm able
to talk about, you know, friend,you know girls being friends
with girls and guys beingfriends with guys, like Like
(15:23):
she's taught me a lot as well,like you just soak up a lot
through experiences, but yeah,so Back to the topic at hand.
Oh, and I want to talk aboutwhen is petty, when is being
petty too petty as far as makingup being friends, like we kind
(15:45):
of all know, come on, you knowpodcast, like come on, you know,
you know, you know when pettyis too petty.
It's like when you know what,when your friends being too
petty is, when you know when,like you know your friends
action, if your friend does acertain thing to to Try to make
(16:07):
up with you after you had analtercation or or you know, a
long time apart, you've beenestranged for some dumb reason
and but you still don't Utilizethat as a bridge to make up,
that's being too petty.
So what I'm saying is, if yourfriend is a type that you know
(16:31):
your beef in, or you have anissue and and they like Say
certain things To you directlybut it's not addressing the
issue, but you know they'retrying to open up the door
because they they aren't the oneto to, you know to bridge that,
you know to kind of put out thefire, and then you you're just
(16:54):
like, well, whatever, I knowthat's how that person is, but
I'm gonna still shop for earlyChristmas gifts then that's
being petty, and being petty cango too far when you are
damaging the relationship.
So it's like, hey, I know whatI need to do To help my friend,
(17:18):
kind of like come back to me orHelp me bridge this gap or
whatever.
And you just kind of you'relike, whatever, I don't care,
I'm just gonna Continue to watchmy soap operas or whatever
comes on TV.
Now, although my friend isreaching out, I'm gonna get out
(17:39):
like I'm gonna Literally do whatI need to do, like no pottery,
I'm gonna go out of my way to,to, to ignore my friend or do
something Just contentious thatdoesn't help the progression of
the situation.
(17:59):
So, like we know, we know whatbeing petty is about and I
definitely know because I amSuper petty.
You call me Tom Richard petty,the third Straight up.
I am the mayor of Pettyvilleand I will continue to be.
(18:25):
But we all know, and it's notyou know, if it's not helpful to
the friendship and If it'staken away from the friendship,
then let's just be in petty andwe don't.
We know, you know, we know andall that, but anyway, so back to
the subject hand.
So I'm not saying it's adifference.
(18:47):
I'm not saying men being bestfriends with with men are better
, women being best friends withwomen Better, but we just have
our differences.
And I think the point is, ifyou have a friend that is a Like
that's the opposite sex of you,you can learn from that and
(19:09):
listen and See how they managetheir friendships, because you
have to manage friendships.
Friendships are a gift.
They're not just a given.
We do, especially if you get alittle bit older, like I am, and
things aren't Easily maintained, and they're not a given and
(19:35):
they can go away in an instant.
But you know, I think there isa significant difference between
women being friends with women,men being friends with men.
But just because there's adifference, it doesn't mean it's
(19:55):
different.
If that, if that makes sense.
Like we all know, women knowhow to manage their friendships,
men know how to manage theirfriendships.
Just because they're differentdoesn't mean you need to tap
into the other side to see ifyou could Make it better.
Just manage it better, likethat's the cake.
(20:17):
So so, um, okay, the jets oneand that's all I got.
What up?
Welcome back to the Come On,you Know podcast.
I'm your host with the most.
So, um, a little.
On cloud nine, my jets won.
We beat the Eagles Eagles.
You should have done better,but we did better and we won.
So how about that?
(00:30):
Go home, go home, back toPhiladelphia, southern New
Jersey or wherever Philadelphiais.
Bye, bye, not fly Eagles, flyBye, bye, eagles, bye.
But there's that.
So, yeah, I have a little bitof energy to do a show, do an
(00:54):
epi.
Yeah, my jets won against oneof, if not the best team in the
NFL.
I know a lot of.
You don't care, but I care andmy boys, my gang green, my the
green line, took them out athome.
(01:17):
What a high.
We did it.
We just won a Super Bowl.
We're done, we're done, we'redone.
Season is over.
Championship game was wontonight.
We're done, we're good.
We're good.
We have rings.
We have rings now.
We're good, anyway.
(01:39):
So I wanted to talk about, uh, Ihad a decent day, well, with
this win, it was over the top.
But I wanted to talk about thedifference, like friendship.
I know I made an episode aboutfriendship before.
This is a.
(02:00):
This is different.
The differences in friendship.
I don't.
I don't like to get into themen and women thing and but
women Like with womenfriendships and men with men
friendships is different.
So I wanted to talk about that,got a little insight on that
(02:23):
topic or or that being a thingand and yeah, that I thought
about it.
Like my you know, my friends,my besties I have.
I have a female friend that isone of my besties ever.
I was in her wedding and Ofcourse, I have male besties, and
(02:45):
Men and women can be friends.
But I think there is adifferent dynamic between men
being men friends and womenbeing friends with women, and
it's it's from observation inlife, you know, and I'm I don't
(03:07):
I don't like to toot my own horn, but I'm whatever the genius,
whatever qualifies you to be agenius, I'm pretty sure qualify
to be a genius, and so I Justwant to talk about my
observations and talk about myperspective and what it is.
(03:29):
So, anyway, it's about howWomen are Friends with women and
men are friends with men, thedifferences.
So I am an expert on how menare being friends with men, so I
(03:49):
think here's his one hugedifference.
So men are more Harsh with eachother, and harsh is subjective
because people Can translateStatements, opinions,
(04:10):
differently.
But you know, I have a bestfriend and and everything I do
if it's not over the top or ifit's not Meeting Whatever his
mark, he's like all your punk,your bill, or blah, blah, blah.
It's like, yeah, just because Iuse dish soap instead of Licking
(04:31):
my plate and putting it, youknow, in a dishwasher, oh,
you're punk, you didn't do this.
It's like, well, pardon me,pardon me.
It's like, okay, I Get it.
And I, and I believe I believelike, well, you know, we would
just bread that way and I'mdifferent generation, a little
(04:54):
traditional, back in a day.
But it's like, hey, you didn'twake up with your boots on your,
you know, laced up on your feetautomatically, so you're punk.
But I don't think it.
It works that way.
But I understand what he'ssaying and that's my friend and
and love him to death and that'show it works.
(05:14):
And I believe that women on the,on the opposite, and they kind
of give the opposite type ofcriticism and advice, they may
say, oh yeah, you do look goodin this, or everything is Is
good, when you really don't.
They won't degrade you, butthey'll give you maybe like a
(05:40):
false Positive acknowledgementof something and I don't want to
say truth, but Like I don'twant to say like men are more
truthful, because I canguarantee a lot of people will
disagree with me.
But I think we we don't like weassociate what women do with
(06:08):
women.
So like if my boy is like, ohman, you look good in that, like
he's not gonna say that,because that's what a woman
would do, like would tell herfriend like hey, you look great
in that.
Right, we're like, oh like, hey, you look dumb, and but it's
okay, let's go out anyway.
And a woman is like, hey, youlook fabulous, when she doesn't
(06:30):
really look fabulous.
So I think the relationshipbetween like women and women as
friends and men and men asfriends, it's different and I
think it's about more soprotecting feelings and kind of
(06:51):
dodging accountability, if thatmakes sense.
Like I think a girl as a friendwill not, will withhold telling
her friend if she's not, youknow, I mean good friends will
just kind of tell you whatever,whenever, but I think they will
spare her feelings.
(07:12):
Girl as a friend will spare hergirlfriend's feelings just to
kind of keep it going.
And then a dude as a friend isnot concerned about feelings but
they're concerned about actionsLike hey, you look dumb, change
, let's go out and just to kindof keep things in motion.
(07:33):
But that's just the dynamic Ibelieve to be.
I could be wrong, but I'mreally wrong.
We can go with that, but Ithink, I mean, it's always room
for improvement in bothrelationships.
You know, I think a male bestieto another male bestie can keep
(07:58):
it in the holster a little bit,just like you know not blow
things up immediately.
And I, you know I am a you canaccuse me of doing it Like I
talk crap to my boys all thetime.
Like that's how we start offimmediately on the phone.
It's like yo, man, shut up.
It's like I called you.
(08:19):
Are you gonna talk to me?
In the first thing you say shutup.
That's just how we roll.
And you know, female and female, I believe they could.
The first thing they saydoesn't have to be hey, girl,
hey, the sky is, you know, blueand we could blow up a bus like,
hey, what are you going through?
(08:39):
Let's, you know, put a stake ina grass, start from here and
move forward.
There's that.
So that is my perspective.
What else?
Like I believe that, like Idon't want to be.
(09:05):
I'm not trying to be insultingto any of the like situations or
any of the scenarios that Imentioned, like women being best
friends with women and menbeing best friends with women.
It's not at all like acriticizing session, it's just
an observation.
But whatever, I think also,what I believe and you can tell
(09:32):
me if I'm wrong is that if awoman fights with her best
friend, which is a woman, Ithink they can be a little bit
more petty than men.
Like men us, my best friends wefight, but it'll be over Once
we fight.
(09:52):
That is the solution towhatever is going on.
We fight by the bang, it's done.
Then we're still friends.
Or if we don't talk for weeks,when we talk, it doesn't even
matter, we didn't skip a beat.
I believe women do not.
(10:13):
They take the indirect route.
Like, hey, we're fighting, sowe're fighting, that's where we
stand, that is where we stand.
We are fighting, so we arefighting.
So that's it, not fighting toget it over with, but this is
(10:34):
our place, this is ourpredicament, this is where we
are, so we're fighting, and Ithink that is the main
difference.
Like, hey, I can, unless afriend that I'm just done with,
(10:56):
like you know I cut the cordlike cable, like unless that
friend is like completely erasedout of my life, I can talk to
him like we didn't miss a beat.
I don't think women can do thatand you can tell me otherwise.
(11:19):
If that's not the truth, I'mmaking up crap.
If I'm just delusional which Ireally am, I'm only delusional
about Jets wins Just let me know.
But I think that women kind ofhold on to hey, we're not
(11:39):
talking, so we're not talking.
That's our status.
We're not talking.
Hey, barbara and I had a fight.
That's how it is when I talk it.
So guys are just, you know,we'll say we'll think hey, you
(12:02):
know, I didn't talk to my boy ina couple of weeks.
Whatever blah blah he calls, Icall.
So hey, what's up, man, what'sup?
Just tap in blah blah, we catchup blah, blah.
And I think that is very commonwith guys and it's very
uncommon with females.
I think if a female has nottalked to a friend in a while,
(12:24):
that's the status they're in.
They're not talking.
So what else?
How do you make up?
And what is like, how petty ishow petty, what is too petty in
regards to a friendship andfight in and stuff like that.
(12:46):
So how do you make up Withdudes?
We don't make up, we, just we.
We like straight up, like youknow, call and like yo, what's
up?
That was the last six months,dude.
You know, I had a flat tire.
I won a couple of games inMadden, rained a couple of times
(13:06):
, boom, I was like okay, samething happened to me.
I think women make up in subtle, more subtle ways, like hey,
I'll send, like, send you a linkto an Instagram snippet.
I don't know TikTok posts and Idon't know show like pictures
(13:31):
of I got my nails done and theorange was on point.
I think that's the differenceand it's a difference.
Neither one is is better orworse, but it's just a
difference and I think that'sthe thing.
And you know what I wanted tomake, mention to like if males
(13:55):
and females can be friends.
My answer is yes.
Like I have a best friend she'sa female and like we've talked
about life a lot and we've gonethrough life and we talked about
dating and we talked aboutprofessional life and what we've
gone through.
We talked about like racism,whatever is pick, picket, move
(14:17):
is.
We've lived in different citiesand talked about that and when
you really value somebody as aperson.
It doesn't matter what, whatlike external differences they
have.
Rather it's sex, race, foodchoices, physical fitness
(14:40):
choices, I don't know, I'm justmaking up stuff, but it doesn't
Like.
Once you hit that maturitylevel and respect and understand
a person for who they are andwhat they are, you can
definitely maintain like afriendship.
That gets the thing and you canvalue or respect that
(15:02):
friendship.
But, yeah, but, and I'velearned, I've learned a lot
through my friend that's afemale and that is how I'm able
to talk about, you know, friend,you know girls being friends
with girls and guys beingfriends with guys, like Like
(15:23):
she's taught me a lot as well,like you just soak up a lot
through experiences, but yeah,so Back to the topic at hand.
Oh, and I want to talk aboutwhen is petty, when is being
petty too petty as far as makingup being friends, like we kind
(15:45):
of all know, come on, you knowpodcast, like come on, you know,
you know, you know when pettyis too petty.
It's like when you know what,when your friends being too
petty is, when you know when,like you know your friends
action, if your friend does acertain thing to to Try to make
(16:07):
up with you after you had analtercation or or you know, a
long time apart, you've beenestranged for some dumb reason
and but you still don't Utilizethat as a bridge to make up,
that's being too petty.
So what I'm saying is, if yourfriend is a type that you know
(16:31):
your beef in, or you have anissue and and they like Say
certain things To you directlybut it's not addressing the
issue, but you know they'retrying to open up the door
because they they aren't the oneto to, you know to bridge that,
you know to kind of put out thefire, and then you you're just
(16:54):
like, well, whatever, I knowthat's how that person is, but
I'm gonna still shop for earlyChristmas gifts then that's
being petty, and being petty cango too far when you are
damaging the relationship.
So it's like, hey, I know whatI need to do To help my friend,
(17:18):
kind of like come back to me orHelp me bridge this gap or
whatever.
And you just kind of you'relike, whatever, I don't care,
I'm just gonna Continue to watchmy soap operas or whatever
comes on TV.
Now, although my friend isreaching out, I'm gonna get out
(17:39):
like I'm gonna Literally do whatI need to do, like no pottery,
I'm gonna go out of my way to,to, to ignore my friend or do
something Just contentious thatdoesn't help the progression of
the situation.
(17:59):
So, like we know, we know whatbeing petty is about and I
definitely know because I amSuper petty.
You call me Tom Richard petty,the third Straight up.
I am the mayor of Pettyvilleand I will continue to be.
(18:25):
But we all know, and it's notyou know, if it's not helpful to
the friendship and If it'staken away from the friendship,
then let's just be in petty andwe don't.
We know, you know, we know andall that, but anyway, so back to
the subject hand.
So I'm not saying it's adifference.
(18:47):
I'm not saying men being bestfriends with with men are better
, women being best friends withwomen Better, but we just have
our differences.
And I think the point is, ifyou have a friend that is a Like
that's the opposite sex of you,you can learn from that and
(19:09):
listen and See how they managetheir friendships, because you
have to manage friendships.
Friendships are a gift.
They're not just a given.
We do, especially if you get alittle bit older, like I am, and
things aren't Easily maintained, and they're not a given and
(19:35):
they can go away in an instant.
But you know, I think there isa significant difference between
women being friends with women,men being friends with men.
But just because there's adifference, it doesn't mean it's
(19:55):
different.
If that, if that makes sense.
Like we all know, women knowhow to manage their friendships,
men know how to manage theirfriendships.
Just because they're differentdoesn't mean you need to tap
into the other side to see ifyou could Make it better.
Just manage it better, likethat's the cake.
(20:17):
So so, um, okay, the jets oneand that's all I got.
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