Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Ladies and gentleman,
comedy roundtable these are
great questions. Yes, goodcomedian a math question. Really
good question. Thank you. Thisis so much fun you guys. That is
a good question. And thatlightning round was so fun.
That's a really good question.
comedy fans con versationenthusiast it is a brand new
(00:21):
episode of the comedy roundtablepull up a chair settle in. We
have a great conversation foryou this episode. Let's get this
party started. Jamie BendelJamie, Hernan, Adam. Hey
look at you getting in on thegame. I appreciate that. Usually
(00:42):
you're so negative about himgiving me the big intro.
I just figured people deserve tohear it in stereo.
I didn't even know that ourpodcast was available in stereo.
Yeah, it is actually. Andactually, if you put the SAP
button it's available inSpanish. We have
saved a cheer for you ourlistener and we've also saved
the chair here at the roundtablefor our guest this evening. CJ
Marin andthanks for having me guys.
Welcome comedy roundtable. Weare here in the landmark diner
(01:05):
live from the punch line comedyclub as we often our first show
wentgreat, great love this club.
Good crowd. You know, great foodto great service you
everybody loves the diner.
What percentage of clubs do youplay and where you can get
breakfast afterwards?
Oh, 00 Yeah, a good breakfastzero. They'll throw together
(01:27):
something for you.
I was gonna say that almostanything can be breakfast if you
want it to be. Yeah. Oh, I don'tknow that. I would say but
breakfast food at actual dinnertime. Yeah, no, it's a different
story.
I've done some hell gigs. Youknow, it's a you're lucky if you
get a green room at some ofthese places.
Just like they're like No, nobreakfast. And I
did. I did. I did a show. Iremember one time in a bar
(01:49):
during the game seven of Lakers.
NBA Playoffs? Yeah, whoeverscheduled it was obviously an
idiot and not a fan because theyscheduled the show literally in
the middle of the game. So theyturned the TV's off. Oh my god.
And I mean, this is a bar halfthe people are there. 100% of
the people are there to watchthe game and then they're like,
they cut the they cut the TV'soff. And they're like, and now
we have some comedy.
(02:12):
Oh, boy, it's gonna go great.
Isn't it comedy night everynight at the Lakers now that's
a lot of talent and no, invery early in my comedy career.
Yeah, I did a gig in Alabama,where it was a membership club.
And you had to pay a quarter tobecome a member. Oh, good.
(02:35):
Actually, it was that kind ofplace. Yeah. And it was the
night one of the nights wherethe Braves were in one of their
first playoff runs. And the gamewas on a big screen behind me.
Oh, still on. Stand in front ofthe Braves advancing in the
first playoff run. Can youbelieve yours? That's horrible.
(02:57):
It was a terrible gig. It didn'tget their attention happy like
please just move aside a littlebit you got a slide right slide
left depending on where the guyis slide
you're trying to time your punchlines with big players in the in
the game I think they're into mymaterial. Meanwhile guys rope in
(03:18):
a basement. Nothing to do withlike I killed all right so
comedy roundtable is basicallythe club anchored podcast
Absolutely. Well we don't reallydo it kind of in a traditional
fashion what we do instead islightning round style questions.
Awesome. So we are going topresent to you three topics okay
(03:39):
you need not pick them all yeahthree categories you need not
pick them all you get to pickone of the three got it then you
get to pick one of the remainingtwo and the last one is unused
and often Jamie tries to likerevive his questions because
he's he's really excited aboutone of his questions and the
guest doesn't choose that oneOkay, so you guys do not allow
him to do all right you guyscome up with these are these
(04:03):
like right or wrong? You'refeeling ready to give you
right or wrong? Whatdo you got? Yeah, there is no
right or wrong. Is Justice rightor wrong?
There is right or wrong.
Ellen are they talking aboutthere is absolutely right or
wrong?
No matter what some others onthis podcast might say? Yeah,
there is no right or wrong.
Well, LeBron Jamesalready hates me after that
comment. You know, I know he'slookers
you can they can say there's noright and wrong but you see
(04:25):
those electrical wires goinginto that chair right.
Oh, all right. Here are yourchoices. Three subjects you will
pick. Only two done they areopposites attract, okay. History
will show or underdogsOh, history will show that pop
(04:46):
out of me.
History will show is our firstlightning round question. Adam.
Yes beginsso we live in an interesting
time now. Right? But I was I Ohwas Wonder. Does everyone always
think that they lived inhistorical times like this every
whenever you're everygeneration? Do they always say
(05:06):
like we live in interestingtimes? Yeah. So when we look 30
years from now, what how do youthink now we'll be judged?
harshly? Okay, I'm sorry.
I would have to go off of thatharshly. I think there will be
no more doctors or lawyers orany kind of professions, just
tick talkers. And you know,people dancing in front of the
(05:29):
camera,I think in 30 years from now.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, we'll see, we might justget wiped off.
That's the cure for cancer, likethe particular dance. Yeah. Like
yeah, if you do a particularmood,
you imagine if that actually isthe cure for cancer, though, and
they're like, tick tock cures.
These doctors like we've beenbreaking trying to
cure this, but in thelaboratory, $7 million
(05:50):
on this, and this stupid, itcomes out here and does three
moves and suddenly she's she'slymph node free,
our attention spans are so bad.
You know, that's the only waydoctors will be able to kind of
give us diagnosis and tell usthings that are going on. They
got to stand in front of thecamera and do like a little
shoulder shake, dance and belike you have cancer.
Actually Go home to yourfriends. And you'd be like, What
(06:10):
did the doctor say? Which dancedid he do?
You have a cancer reveal party?
Did you?
Go Okay, so, all right. Socancer isn't something that we
should be joking. However, ifwe're going to be discussing the
way in which you should usehumor in the face of a
challenging diagnosis, likecancer, yes, then perhaps
(06:33):
because when my own mother was,was dying, yes. We talked about
instead of doing a memorialservice, we should consider an
eternity reveal party. Thatwould be what did you do? We
went to my mom's eternity revealparty. Yeah.
Like we did. She came out shefinally showed us what her
eternity looks like.
(06:53):
So that's what you would say.
Yes. Judge i Yes. harshly,harshly, harshly.
Again, I think it'd beincredible if some Tik Tok or
just danced away cancer. Allright,
Jamie, just to you. History willshow. Alright, so our question,
so when all is said and done,history will show that CJ put
what mark on the comedy world.
(07:15):
Great, great question. Historywill show. Yes, that there'll be
like, You know what, maybe wejudge them in the beginning. But
that guy that guy's a killer,Corona. I mean, that guy crushed
and did it with a smile. Weslept on that kid. We slept on
that kid pretty hard. We lovepeople sleeping on that kid so
long. And then that podcast cameout
and that podcast came out and hediscovered the
(07:37):
cure for cancer and tick tockdances so
he gave a theory that was laterplayed out proved to be true
kids friggin brilliant. Yeah,and funny as hell.
Funny. Yeah, humorous.
Now best friends with LebronJames. He gave us Ron Ron. He's
okay with it. I love it.
Alright, and the follow upquestion.
The follow up question usually,here's always
(07:59):
I like it. Follow up freewish to what age? Do you see
yourself performing stand upcomedy.
I'm gonna be like Richard Pryor.
Man, they're gonna roll me outthere on a wheelchair. I'm gonna
do it I'm gonna do it till Ifall up they're good. That's all
I want to go out. You know?
Attorney reveal party on stage.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is myactual closer. I am literally
(08:20):
about to die. This would be thelast joke ever tell.
That's it? Yeah, that's it.
Ladies This is it.
CJ the farewell tour. No,really? No, really? This is this
is it? Tonight's the nighton the stage with Jack and Coke.
I'm going down. Guys. I likethat.
If a comic did die on stage,where would you put some sort of
permanent memorial? I don'tthink so.
Good question. I've died onstage multiple times. Yeah, I
(08:43):
haven't gotten a single.
Yeah. That's good. Yeah. No, Idon't think so.
Funny, like if a comic did dieon stage, like not physically,
but you know, in a comedicsense. Yeah. You put up like
tombstones and be like, Hey,man, sorry tonight didn't work
out for you. We're gonna goahead and put a little memorial
(09:04):
for you to work at actuallythat's actually the greatest add
to an open mic show of all ofthe comedians that you have an
In Memoriam segment of tonightwho came up not that but just
ruined actually mentioned thatyou were going to start doing
that here. You should we'll takea picture. And later in the
(09:25):
show, we're going to run it inmemoriam segment for all the
comedians remember him? He wasup like four comics. It was
pretty good. That was adorable.
It's a wedding joke.
That was terrible. Like theOscars thing where they just
(09:47):
just have their stage time upthere like he did. Yeah.
8052808would be great is if the opener
died on stage and the headlinercomes out with a black armband
and a patch with the initials ofthe opener. That's
(10:12):
all right, my question is thecommon comedy excuse, let's say
is too soon. That is too soon.
Okay. So then is the opposite ofthat is that history will show
that all subjects are okay.
Yes, yes. All subjects are okay.
You know, I think that's thewhole point of comedy. You know,
(10:35):
you have to like you just haveto get it a little deeper into
the past. Yeah, well, no, Ithink I think it's a kind of
never too soon. I mean, peoplewill react. I mean, it depends
on the subject.
All right. So let's close thissegment. And then we'll come
back with your choice for thesecond of our Lightning Rounds.
And we have you have a secondshow to do here at the punch
(10:56):
line. I do. So we will be backwith more of the comedy round
table for Jamie, Jamie and Adamand our guest, CJ Marin, we will
be right back.
I personally, I want to startgetting into commercial real
estate. That's, that's what Ireally want to do. But I can't
right now because all of mymoney is unfortunately tied up
(11:18):
in my parents being alive. It'sa waiting game. I love to copy I
really do. The only thing Idon't like is telling people
that I'm a comic. Because theynever know how to react. This is
a true story. I told this personand I'm a comedian and they go,
(11:39):
Oh, you do comedy. And tell me ajoke. Funny man. made me laugh
clown. Do something immediate.
And I just had to stand thereand be like, moss
(11:59):
world there was one podcast thatmade all others look like some
little part time, half bakedideas that should have been
thrown in the trash can afterbeing written down. That's a
super long winded way of sayingthat drunk theory podcast is the
best kept secret out there.
Right now. There are a bunch ofidiots talking about conspiracy
theories. And when these fourcome together, they have the
(12:20):
capability to solve just aboutany question coming their way.
But keep in mind, they'reidiots. So sometimes they won't
have the answer. But weguarantee you'll end up laughing
so hard you cry, or urinate inyour pants. I don't make the
rules here. So let Matthew Cara,Kelly and Ryan give you
everything you never know youneeded. And more. Only on drunk
(12:44):
theory podcast available on allmajor streaming platforms, more
conspiracies. Coming soon.
Macklemore have comedyroundtable here from the punch
line comedy club in Atlanta,Georgia recorded live at the
roundtable in the corner of theland mark diner. Jamie Jamie and
(13:05):
Adam our guest this evening iscomedian CJ Maron in CJ things
were going well for you. You'vebeen busy. tiktoks exploding
what you got going on in thesocials spend? Great Yeah, tick
tock people sliding into DMSleft and rams all
the time just firing off and I'msliding back. You know what I
mean? I'm sending it off.
Protocol. Somebody slides in youslide back.
Oh, yeah. You gotta run throughthe profile. Make sure that it's
(13:27):
checks out legit. Yeah. Yeah.
It's mostly just older gentlemanasking for feed pics and things.
Sure, sure. Once you get throughonce you get through that
redirect, there's always a goodone in there once in a while.
Right. And what's the harm andsending feedback? Nothing
actually, that's how I that'show I pay rent. That's right.
Yeah, I didn't say I don't sendthem. I'm just saying that don't
sleep on your feet now.
All right. So we have alreadyutilized one of the subjects for
(13:49):
this evening, you have tworemaining of which you can
choose one those are oppositesattract or underdogs. Opposites
attract opposites attract upfirst is Adam.
All right? The phrase oppositeattracts I'm of the opinion that
it's not true, right? That infact, opposites don't attract.
(14:12):
It's one of those things thatkind of our rom coms have kind
of tried to convince us thatsomehow like she hates him at
the beginning, and they're gonnafall in love. I've never
actually seen a successful likerelationship and said, Oh, those
two are complete opposites.
Right? The opposites attract. Sowhat I was going to ask you is
do you believe that oneopposites do attract in
relationships? Or do you thinkthat you try and find someone
(14:33):
that you actually get along withI think, yeah, I think there's I
think there's a case in point toit. I dated. I dated another
comedian for a little while. Andthat was not fun. Oh, yeah.
Because it was just too much.
I thought you're gonna say itworked because you were a good
comedian. Yeah, they were a badcomedian. No,
no. Whoa. I'm kicking myself.
Can we repeat that and then Ican
(14:57):
throw the old throw the tableYeah, it's that jokes. Yeah, it
was bad. So now I date you know,unfunny women. Okay, it works
out and it works out. Great. Soyou're actually you're proving
the theory. Yes. That attractsExactly. Okay.
All right. Someone argue thatPaula Abdul's 1988 classic
opposites attract is thegreatest love song of all time.
(15:18):
Would you argue that? I wouldnot two steps forward,
I take two steps forward. I taketwo steps back. Yeah, we come
together because oppositesattract. We come to you know, in
a fiction, just a natural fact.
We come together becauseopposites attract. Yeah. So my
question to you would that leadin? Is it Paula Abdul was
elected President. Do you thinkthat she could choreograph one
great dance off betweenRepublicans and Democrats and
(15:38):
fix our toxic political climate?
I would hope so. Because I'd payto see that could you imagine I
haven't Trump and Hillary justdo like a tick tock dance off.
How funny would that be though?
I don't like debate format.
I would sell it would curecancer.
Yeah, I was gonna say they'dsuddenly cure Nancy Pelosi his
(15:59):
husbandwant to get people interested in
politics you cancel the debateformat we Lip Sync Battle
that's it should just likeenough of the just the lying
about you know all this stuff.
It should just be a cop comedianroast battle between all of them
I could see Nancy Pelosi comingout bigger yah yah yah yah yah
(16:20):
yah yah yah and she's wearingthe Britney Spears Oh no. Which
one what? Because there's afollow up question of the
Britney Spears outfits that areiconic. Which one would you most
like to see Nancy Pelosi?
School school girl won becauseshe's got a big old swell puppy.
Those things are hanging in thetrunk comes
out with his hair and he's doinglike Elvis now who's
(16:42):
wearing the red wethink we're that far away from
that. Really?
Opposites attract. What is anexample? In your life where
same? repelled same repelled CJ,you take this one? Go ahead?
No, you go ahead. No, I gottathink on it. Okay. Same
repelled.
(17:02):
Just tell us about hiscomedians.
Yeah, I feel like I already usethat one. I guess my parents are
the same. They're part of afamily and then they split so
they wereoh, let's get into what's going
on? It sounds dark. But youknow, parents were the same.
Yeah. Couldn't get along. Theyno splitting up. That impact
you? Yeah,they were like, we just want you
(17:23):
to know that. Like, this is yourfault. Oh, that. Right? Yeah,
they were the same. We actuallyreally love each other. Ever
since you came around. It's justbeen hell. So and by the way,
your shits not that funny. Like,hopefully this we're gonna do
this for you. Because you're notfunny. Now maybe this will kill.
So were to go mom and dad, we'vetalked to mom and
(17:46):
dad. Appreciate you.
We've talked. You need material.
Look, we're doing this for you.
Okay, now, your childhoodhas been to claim it's ours. For
our child, almost boring. Right?
We will we will create conflictso that you have something to
write aboutmedian of married parents who
has that?
Funny He's like, That's it. Youwant to support your
(18:07):
career decisions. We're verymuch in love. We're
very much in love. This is hardfor us.
It's hard for us. Yeah. It'shard for us. But that's how much
we love you. By the way, feel nopressure to be successful now.
Because you're you did break upour marriage. Right?
Exactly. And yeah, we're notgonna give you two Christmases
either. The most beautifuldivorce ever.
(18:29):
Yeah. And we waited. We waiteduntil you were old enough that
you didn't have to actuallydecide who you're gonna be with
right and old enough toremember, really. And we wanted
to be sure that you knew whereI'm on. I don't have a lot of
specificity about thecircumstances of my parents
breaking up. Yeah. We wanted wewanted
we wanted to be a good chapterin that book,
(18:51):
Good chapter in that book.
Do you think that there wereever kids that wanted to be like
a comedian from a very youngage? And so they like the kid
who had to go practice theirclarinet. Their parents would be
like, Go practice your stand upcomedy, and they'd have to
listen to this like, horriblestand up comedy. Just like you'd
have to listen to the kidpracticing the clarinet. Oh,
God, probably.
That's a no my family everhappened. And here's, here's,
(19:15):
here's what I'm doing tonight.
Whatyou're saying is you're saying
fam like parents sitting throughterrible acts act. Love, right?
Yeah. And then breaking up andthen breaking up because they're
like, We gotta do something.
It has to do and here's why. Andthis is the this is the most
significant difference.
And then we're gonna have aconversation about no and and,
and, and yes and no.
(19:40):
And this is part of why we haveto have the yes and lesson like
twice a quarterthose improv classes are paying.
Yeah, yeah. You went reverse.
I'm bringing you back. I went torun Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So
so, so bad. comedy, is justcalm. memorization.
(20:01):
Yeah, it sounds like a Snapplebottle.
It is bad conversation. So youhave a child who's trying to be
funny, but isn't. You wouldn'tknow that they were trying to be
funny. Becausego practice your comedy go in
your room and practice yourcomedy you need to do 30 minutes
of comedy before you go. Yes.
Yeah, I come from my family. Myfamily's my family is funny, and
I was not funny grow and it waslike they made me that's what
(20:24):
that's where the trauma camefrom. I would tell a joke,
they'd be like your Thanksgivingtable rocker.
Everybody's like yeah, like,do you ever get sent to your
room to practiceyour comedy send myself to my
room?
Go to your room right now youlisten to those records we
bought youyou don't come out to you have a
punch line? Yeah, Harold bringthe hook up with the tombstone.
(20:46):
Get Carol get my belt. I can'tlisten to this.
This is terrible. We're gonnasmack the comedy.
We do like to discussperiodically the sausage making
part of the podcast right,right. And historically, for
those who are maybe listening tothis as their first episode, we
are literally grabbing thecomedians right off stage from
(21:07):
their shows. Yeah, running themover into the diner doing the
and then sending them back.
Yeah, hey, by the way, this isyour first episode. Welcome.
Welcome.
We have a ton but I say thatbecause sometimes I feel like
the guest gets the impressionthat this must be the first
episode they're doing the waythey're which they're reacting
(21:28):
this clearly has the feel we arehave 100 episodes
Yeah, I'm still on La time I'mjust I'm fried I'm trying to
think that opposites attractquestion is still gonna be
laying in my bed. I'm gonna belike David Yeah, how would I say
that? It gets youAlright, so before we wrap this
episode up, what have you gotgoing on? What have you got
coming up? Where would you likepeople to consume your content
(21:51):
consume my content. You can seea lot on my Instagram and my Tik
Tok which is at CJ Merriman, mar r i n a n going to find a
cleaner tag there. But showscoming up. We're going to be at
New Brunswick Performing ArtsCenter on New Year's Eve two
shows. So it'd be fun. Come outand drink some champagne and
laugh with us. Well,we appreciate you being here at
the round table punch linecomedy Club comedy roundtable
(22:12):
inside landmark diner inAtlanta, Georgia. Thank you guys
so much for having me. Allright, for a lot of fun. Jamie
and Jamie or as we often say atJamie, Jamie and Adam. comedy
roundtable puts chair back whereyou found it. We will save one
for you next episode. Talk toyou soon.
(22:37):
This is my impression of thewriters for the movie Marley and
Me. So it's a romantic comedystarring Owen Wilson. Jennifer
Aniston they're newlyweds. Theywant to have kids. They don't
know if they can stay adopteddog this dog gets in all kinds
of high jinks but through it allteaches them unconditional love
and patience. So they end uphaving kids and starting one big
family. Oh no, no, that that'snot the ending actually. So we
want to do you want to tell himor I'll tell him we want to kill
(22:58):
the dog. Yeah, and we want toshow it to you don't want to
hint at it. We want to show thewhole thing so then we're gonna
pan up as the dogs taken itslast breath and we turn we see
Owen Wilson's face. He looksright into the camera. And he
says what do you think?