Tommy Brennan (nee Schneeman) pulled up a chair to the Comedy Roundtable at the Landmark Diner adjacent to the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Georgia while on tour with comedian Kelsey Cook (former guest of the Comedy Roundtable).
Episode Topics:
Rivalries
Spelling Rules
Window, Middle, Aisle
Recently named a Comic to Watch at the 2022 New York Comedy Festival, Tommy Brennan is one of the promising young comics to come out of Chicago. He was also named a 2022 Breakout Artist by Caroline's on Broadway, and is a paid regular at clubs like Zanies, the Laugh Factory, Comedy on State, and many others. He currently tours as a regular feature for both Kelsey Cook and Becky Robinson.
Along with his standup, you may know Tommy from his web series and podcast Roommates-In-Law, which he created with fellow comic Tim Smith. The series has gained a large following and amassed over 1 million views. Link to show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/roommates-in-law/id1590317655.
Upcoming Tour Dates for Tommy:
January 12-14th: PROVIDENCE, RI - Comedy Connection (Featuring for Kelsey Cook)
January 20-21st: RALEIGH, NC - Goodnights (Featuring for Kelsey Cook)
January 26th: HOUSTON - Secret Group (Headlining)
January 27-28th: HOUSTON - The Riot (Featuring for Anthony Devito)
January 31st: SAN ANTONIO, TX - Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club (Featuring for Laura Peek)
Website: https://somekidtommy.komi.io/
Upcoming Tour Dates: https://www.somekidtommy.com/live-shows.html
Twitter: https://twitter.com/somekidtommy_
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somekidtommy/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Ladies and gentlemen, comedy roundtable coming up on
this episode.
Here's the thing. I will fart ona plane. Yeah,
that could be a bad start,man your top five felonies?
Oh no. Okay. So now when therose is blooming any annuals
blooming? Yeah, does the rosebloom and say I'm back? Yeah me
(00:24):
like not Tommy. I'm Steve. Butyou look just like Tommy. I
know. Iknow, Steve, I heard about him.
We have saved a chair for you,our listener and we've also
saved a chair here at theroundtable for our guest this
evening. Tommy Brennan.
Hey, thanks. Actually,that's kind of breaking news is
the first podcast you'reappearing on? It's true. As
Tommy Brennan Yeah, it'd beThomas.
(00:48):
Thomas Brennan. Schneemann is myis my whole name. And I'm going
through an identity crisis. Ithought about changing just
going by Tommy Brennan since Istarted stand up and I never did
it. And then I finally just Ijust I rip the band aid off the
last couple of weeks. And I'mdoing it Megan leap.
Tommy, Brandon seems like a guyyou'd hang around with the guy
from the neighborhood my buddy.
Yeah. You remember Tommy Brennangoing with? Everybody knows Tom.
(01:11):
Everybody knows. Wow. Did he endup doing? And I kind of lost
track of Tommy.
Oh, yeah.
He did some time he had that.
Definitelydo get caught up with the wrong
crowd.
Your real name is Tommy Brennan.
Schneemann. Schneemann. Yeah, Ithink Schneemann was the way to
go.
Like Schneemann don't tell methis right after I did it. Yeah,
(01:34):
you do to me Brennan and a TomShannyn. Minh
Tom Schneemann. Have twodifferent two different ship
chippers. Yeah. I just I justyeah, just put myself on that
level with Jim. Jim Norton. Ranit right away. What a cool
interesting.
Chip Jefferson. Yeah.
I can see the marquee you'reboth names. Yeah, that's the
(01:57):
mark.
It would actually be terrific.
If you never actuallyacknowledged the fact just come
out. Yeah, just did you did thecome out as the host introduced
you as the feature you come out.
You do entirely different jokes.
entirely different things. Thankyou and good night.
And then the guys are gonna loveyour headline. Back and then
(02:17):
they bring you back. A jacket.
No, no, no, no,don't change. I never actually
acknowledged it. The audienceis just like, what pick the same
guy for Tommy, you guys. He waspretty good. It was pretty good.
I like some of the stuff he wassaying. That was pretty funny.
Anyways, I'm Tomshaman is available now. It's
been relinquished. So if youwant to change your name, you
(02:38):
can Yeah, that'sreally Neiman. Yeah, it beats
the heck out of hey, hey, egg.
Yeah.
Hey, egg. Schneemann Yeah,yeah, we're Yeah, we're fighting
the samename and it could be a law firm.
Or a radio show is middle ofnowhere.
(02:58):
Stevens show. We're having fun.
The weatherthis morning. Just outside of
Fargo, North Dakota.
It's hazy, hot and humid again.
Tom does the news and he's like,let's go to Tommy for sports.
It's pretty simple format. We doround. Rounds of Lightning
Rounds. Rounds of lightning.
We do lightning round LightningRounds. Okay.
(03:20):
Yeah, we are going to give youthree topics to choose from. You
only need pick them one at atime. All right, and one will
not get used. Okay. So yoursubjects that you can choose
from are rivalries. spellingrules, or window. middle aisle.
(03:40):
Aislego. Window middle aisle. Yeah,
let's start there. For roundone. We are going window middle
aisle. Alright, starting withAdam. All right.
So there are seating issues onan airplane with the middle
window aisle. There are a lot ofthese interactions that we have
in our society but then thereare when you go to a restaurant
(04:02):
and you look at that tablebooth. Hi top. Yeah, right. And
so my question for you is wheredo you go if you have the table
booth Hi top choices and why?
Okay, so we're not going windowmiddle. Oh, no.
Yeah, I was like, wait tochoice. It's it's a it's a
season three. I'ma high top here. Yeah. Why do
you like the Hi, Johnny. Hi,top. Yeah, Tommy. Hi, Todd. This
(04:22):
is I got to consult you guys.
Next time. I changed my name.
We're here for purposes. Hey,yeah, I'm going high top
because, one, it's in a bar. Idon't like being landlocked in a
booth. Yeah. Unless I'm likereally having a big meal with
friends that I'm like, I know. Idon't care about asking you to
(04:43):
leave if I have to leave youknow, get out. I hate that high
atop is I think a safe move.
It's also I think it's thecoolest looking table in a in a
spain a restaurant. Yeah. And you
kind of are at a place ofauthority. Yeah,
maybe there's a little bit oflike an A like, yeah, like a
level thing to it like, I like abooth for like a late diner. I
(05:04):
guess this vibe basically likeif it's like 230 and we're going
in after shows. I'll take abooth. If it's a bar that we're
hanging out at. I'm going hightop.
Yeah though there are a bunch ofbooths here and low top tables
if there was one high top table,and you were in that table
everyone be liked.
Danny, how do you get the Hi?
I'm a little ambivalent about isthe in home high atop who?
(05:27):
The in home HeightsHigh atop kind of as like a nook
in the in the kitchen.
It's like their main kitchentable. Oh, whoa. No. So it's one
thing if you have high ceilings,right, but if you have regular
eight footers oh my god youbetter with a high top
and your climb is this high top?
Yeah,you can right up on the ceiling
at some point.
(05:48):
So footers worst combination ofall eight footers ceiling, high
top table under ceiling fansdon't even think about That's
crazy. That's basically cheatingdeath. Yeah,
yeah. You got like white capsand the gravy on your mashed
potatoes. Like hey, Hong Kongfinger goes up another guy just
got oh my god.
(06:11):
That's gonna play well on theaudio podcast. Yeah,
that's where we gotta havevideos. Good tech guy.
Yeah. All right. What do you gothim?
Alright, so someone sits, you'reon an airplane and someone sits
in the middle seat? Right nextto you. You want them out of
there. You do not want to takethis flight with this person
right next to you. What do youdo to get them to move?
I am the most nonconfrontational person I will
(06:32):
write down everything that theydid that annoyed me and I'll
talk about it later. And I willnot say a word. But if I really
had to get them to move. I mean,here's the thing. I will fart on
a plane. Yeah. Okay, that can bea bad start. This is whether or
not you're trying to get someoneto move. You'll just you got
holding back.
It started during the pandemicwhen everyone was wearing masks
on planes. Because I'm like,people can you can't really
(06:55):
smell that well through a mask.
Right? It could get trapped. Oh,yeah. So you're basically unless
they really get it in there andthen it's stuck. Right? But
yeah, so I was kind of funky.
Also, you realize everyone'swearing headphones if you fart
and I mean, no one is here. See?
I'm a fart headphone farterfear. I have a headphone farter
can't tell how loud it rightbecause I'm like, Did everyone
(07:16):
hear that? Or was my noisecanceling on and I just had it
was was it a silent you're doingit
was with your headphones on? Whydon't you take your headphones?
Take my headphones off andeveryone knows it's
you. Yeah. Then everyone's like,Oh, that guy just took his
headphones. You basically liftedyour leg. Yeah, that's
basically lifting a leg.
But you don't have any fear thatthe guy next to you is an Air
Marshal and you get taken outfor farting? Yes. Pretty
(07:36):
incredible. I mean, that wouldbe a very great story. Yeah, I
farted so bad. I got airmarshals. You're in jail.
Excuse like, what are you inhere for? You know, farting on a
plane.
You mentioned that that was partof the the training. Yeah. How'd
you flunk out of Air Marshal?
Did I got a weak nose?
(07:56):
I could not distinguish a fart.
I got a weak nose.
Actually, if I was the AirMarshal, I would fart on the
plane because I'd be like he'sdefinitely not the Air Marshal.
I'm gonna what air marshalsgonna fart on the plane. That
guy has no ideahow to behave. Yeah,
I hate farting on planes. Ialways it does freak me out a
little bit because I alwaysthink that somebody heard me
yeah, just hear that or did theyfeel the seat vibrate a little
(08:19):
bit as I did it.
I get self conscious on planesabout what people think of me
which is so funny because younever know we're gonna you'll
never see them again. They don'tknow your name anything and I'm
like that guy across the aislehates me. Yeah, it's generally
because I take edibles when Ifly. I think that's probably it.
In my head. Full paranoid. Yeah,like oh, he
(08:40):
knows. Yeah, he knows Am Ipissed about
that we're not aware of it.
You've been making direct eyecontact with him for the last 30
minutes.
disclosures that are you don'thave to be so professional. I
mean, I'm joking. I'm going tokeep edibles.
I have a follow up question. Aimyour top five felonies.
(09:03):
Okay. I'm gonna go well, Ifarted really bad on a plane one
time not a felony.
Window. Middle or aisle? Is thequestion. That was the question.
That was the category that wasthe category Yeah. Both Tom
and Tommy got done.
Do you attend a house ofworship? Now? Not anymore? When
(09:23):
you did? Were you attending withparents? Yeah. Okay. Do you
prefer Irel? Yes. Of pew. Towhat? To the middle to middle oh
my god, you middle of you.
That's Part A and Part B is howclose to the front?
I like going close to the frontof the second section of the I
love the bad call. Good call.
You know, you're early incommunion.
(09:45):
Yes. All right.
So set the stage for me. Are youinside the gifts are outside the
gifts, gifts gifts. I'm going totalk about this the auditory
auditory Yeah, right. What's thetechnical term for you and your
you and your youramazing plan are making He says
the Catholic Church. Yeah. Yeah,he's talking about when they're
bringing the gifts up today.
(10:06):
Yeah, that's their sat at atable there right in front of
me. Okay. So that's what I mean.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
I'm like, I like being like thethird row of the back half.
Okay.
I actually did go to theCatholic Church that you used to
go to recently, strangelyenough, and they're like, Isn't
my St. Thomas. Nice to be hereall the time? I was I was like,
(10:29):
whoa.
This guy's Minnesota.
Well, hold on a second. You'refrom Minnesota? Yeah. Oh,
no. Do you have a scoring systemfor people who have a scoring
system? I have a scoring systemthat says if you are from
Florida, you get a minus one inmy book. So like, yeah, you have
(10:50):
a handicap that you have to. I'mnot saying they're cool people
from Florida there are but ifyou tell me you're from Florida,
you're minus one like that. Ifyou tell me you're from
Minnesota, you are a plus one.
Wow. Yeah, it's totally true.
Man. I'm so impressed. And I'vesaid this on multiple podcasts.
I'm not just making it up. Irules people from Minnesota plus
one. It's very rare that I'vemet someone from Minnesota that
(11:12):
I didn't like that Allah. Yeah,it's I loved I think it might
have to do with the coldtemperatures and the fact that
you got to be inside and hangout with your you know, your
fellow human beings. Little morebonding. Yeah, you basically
can't be completely obnoxious.
Yeah. Right.
I agree. I mean, I know fromMinnesota, but I know a lot of
incredible people to write Ithink there is just a baseline
(11:35):
of a higher Yeah, that just sayswe're gonna get along a little
bit more get along a little bitbetter. Yeah, I agree.
One of these days. Adam is goingto meet somebody in Florida, who
was originally from St. Paul,and has moved to Florida. We're
gonna be very conflict. Zero.
Yeah, they're backthere. They're probably I think
it's where you're raised,though. But yeah,
going back half towards theaisle. Very good.
(11:56):
All right. Well, we are in theback half towards the aisle of
the first segment of the comedyround table with our guest,
Tommy Hi tops. And we'll be backwith more name changes. Like
this is the trend for theepisode. We are here. Live at
the punch line comedy club inAtlanta.
We got good people fromMinnesota. Well, the deck
(12:19):
doctor but it's also my doctor.
We're going to have a depositionbecause we have to have medical
talks and he's like, Youshouldn't drink less and I'm
like you shouldn't have more.
We grew up in a medicalhousehold you never go to the
doctor. I was 24 years oldbefore I went to a non my dad
doctor. I didn't know how to actwith this guy. He comes in he's
(12:43):
like Do you smoke? I was likeare you gonna tell mom eight
kids it's crazy. My dad figuredout the only way to be a doctor
and not be rich Dr. ache is goodas a farmer with one of the old
(13:08):
sayingI do call my youngest sister
boat though because that's whatwe could have had. You know. We
do love each other. We suck atsaying my mom and I when we hang
up the phone every time it'slove you bye Love You by storm.
When me and my dad and the phonecall. It's like 45 seconds of us
has been like we're scanningHey, comedy roundtable
(13:43):
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(14:28):
Whoa. Was there a couple of deepcuts it's kind of like putting
on a buying bread therematch.com And plenty of fish.
You guys basically dig deep theold fashioned way because that
was on a desktophang up the phone. To jump to
(14:56):
sales is the coolest thing I seeevery time I come to New York
every day it makes because I wasraised Midwestern little boy,
and I am so afraid of doingthat. But I lost my job this
week. So I dropped my first oneyesterday. I felt amazing. It
(15:19):
was on the way out, but it stilldid the trick. Yeah.
All right. comedy roundtable isback, Jamie, Jamie and Adam, our
guest, Tommy Brennan. We havetwo remaining subjects. They are
(15:42):
rivalries and spelling rules.
I'm gonna go rivalries,rivalries, starting with Adam.
In almost everything. There arerivals, trying to figure out
like, Where are their newrivals? And so my question for
you is, do you think there'srivalries among flowers? And if
(16:03):
so, which flowers are rivals?
I mean, perennials have to havea god complex,
right. Oh, yeah. They look atthe annuals that are like you.
I mean, you're not coming back.
Yeah. You're not coming back.
Right.
I mean, there's probably aninherent jealousy from the the
annuals to the perennials, butthe perennials probably, it's
probably they probably wouldn'tconsider it
a rival. Right. They're like,it's not even close.
(16:25):
Yeah, between them. Theyprobably do. Like I could see,
like a rosebush, because rosesgets so much love so much love
and they're kind of an uglyplant. A lot of the time, right.
So they probably have beef withlike, like a tulip. Yeah to have
is kind of a more conventionallybeautiful plant
comes up pops up real pretty fora little bit and roses. Stick
(16:46):
around for a long time. And thetulips like Yeah, but you're
ugly half the time. Yeah.
And the tulips when they are notin bloom. You don't really
notice them. No, like greenhere. We're
pretty that's what tulips saylike roses, you stay around for
months, but half the time notthat good.
But there's one thing they canagree on, which is damn annuals
does.
(17:09):
Yeah, exploring the questionfurther. Yeah.
Oh, we're gonna go. Next level.
Is the floweronly aware of its existence
while blooming?
No. Is it the whole plant? Or isit the flower?
Is it the flower? Because if itis just the flower, then does it
have an awareness of whether itis a perennial or an annual?
(17:31):
Yeah, the perennial is like it'sgetting ready to bloom. It's
like, hold on, hold my beer, andit just goes out there. Oh,
yeah, it was like,I think I could do this. I think
I know what's happening. I thinkit's gonna happen. Pretty easy
job.
This isn't gonna go well foryou. Literally. ever good.
Would you not want to be thenthe most attractive perennial?
(17:53):
Now I'm trying to figureout how to phrase like, we would
want to be your most attractive.
No, no, no. Well, sothe problem with the rose is a
rose is attractive enough to getclipped? Yeah, right. Oh, so
you'd want to be attractiveenough that you're planted, but
not attractive to be part of anarrangement or
(18:14):
flower versus plant to flower?
Flower right. Soyeah, so we can't go I can't go
fern.
How stupid That's so stupid.
Because I'm gonna be I'm gonnabe a firm because no one's gonna
clip me. Oh, okay. I'm gonna behanging up high above everybody
else looking down upon you gonnabe treated
practically like an annualyou're gonna be forget to be
(18:34):
watered. Yeah, you're gonna beI don't need they kind of go
grow just wild people walk overthem.
Yeah, at least a piece Lilygives power.
Like most famous for just beingin fossils. Yeah. Okay. Just
want to point out that the levelof anger ah
(18:56):
was a lot into the whole flowerdiscussion. It was absolutely
bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Everyone'spissed about it. I'm still
just thinking about whether ornot the flowers are aware that
they're part of the whole ornot. That's a good net. That's
prettyheavy. I just think if you
happen to bloom at the sametime, you wouldn't necessarily
know Yeah, right. Because if youhave a garden, so let's say if
you're talking about yourlandscaping, you have
(19:18):
perennials, and you have yourrosebush, but adjacent to your
rosebush. Do you plan an annual?
Okay, yeah. Right. So now whenthe rose is blooming, and the
annual is blooming, yeah. Doesthe rose bloom and say, I'm
back? Yeah, me. Like not Tommy.
I'm Steve. But you look justlike Tommy.
(19:40):
I know. I know, Steve. I heardabout him. Yeah.
You didn't because you didn'texist last year. Yeah. He'd
like to think we live in a worldwhere there's an elitist group
of perennials who are aware thatthey come back every year but we
come in from there.
That's the firm. Yeah,the firm never we're done
with that question. Thank youJohn for ruining it. You ruined
(20:01):
it for everybody.
All right rivalries. What isyour favorite species of fern?
So stupid. All right, so youfind yourself on the
international professionalFoosball circuit. Yes. Done, but
you need to take out yourrivals. How do you sabotage your
rivals on the foosball?
International professionalpoisoning? Absolutely. Oh,
(20:27):
so easy to get on the stick?
Yeah, well, I'm the handle. Iwasn't the I don't think they
ever really like suck on thehandles.
Maybe you haven't played likehigh level weird green bars
(20:47):
just take the time to write themout.
In the thought it was gonna beyou touch it with your hand and
eventually it getsYeah. Yeah, that's what I
assumed.
I was thinking like, maybe likethat. You put the advising stuff
in there B or something likethat. Kind of a food thing?
(21:08):
Yeah. Yeah. That makes yourstomach upset. Real quick.
I drops. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
By the way, like you don't know.
Oh, that's Minnesota for youright there. Nice. Nice. Nice.
So I do have a theory. It ismostly passive aggressive. Oh,
it's Minnesota. Nice is like,everyone's like, Oh, your mom's
(21:29):
so nice. Like she I mean, she'sbehind your back. Yeah. Yeah.
She's great at the grocerystore.
I get it.
Let me run this by everybody.
Okay, we're all familiar withthe large gumball. Yeah. Are we
though? Yes. So what if youplayed Foosball with the large
gumball? And every time youscored a goal, somebody on the
(21:51):
losing team had to eat thegumball. knocking it around on
the foosball court. The grossbar Foosball core. Yeah, we
score somebody on the losersteam has to eat the gumball.
I think about the outside of thefoosball court. Maybe not that
bad. But you know, the tunnelsthat that was the last time they
(22:11):
flush those tunnels like nevernever flush the tunnel.
So no one's ever clean out.
So it's part of the game. Also,it'd
be hilarious if you get scoredon a bunch and then like, you
gottaspit it out. Keep it in there.
You gottatake chipmunks. Oh my god. My
jaw hurts.
What's the score? Hold on.
(22:33):
Yeah. Rivalries. Benderrivalries. Yes. You were once a
child. You lived in theneighborhood. Did you have a
childhood? Neighborhood? Rival?
Done? For sure. We don't needyour name. And I'm worried Yeah.
What was her name?
(22:55):
Well, I had Vince Anderson for alittle while and then Gino
Chicka rally for a little whileto those are. Those are both
kind of rounds. What was this?
What was the start of the whatwas the core of the rivalry?
It was probably clicking thisbut I had my best friend of all
time lived across the block,literally across the street. And
(23:15):
there's like just a city block.
And then Vince lived like justone block up, but it was far
enough where he was kind of onthe outskirts. Yeah, but then
there was a time that he kind ofstole Johnny my best friend. Oh,
Shane.
Johnny, Tommy Vinnie.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like, Hey,what is this about?
The North without telling meyou're from the North? Yeah. Oh,
(23:37):
no, no. How did you settle therivalry?
I think I was better than him atsports. And that ended up just
being like, you know, I could, Icould kind of like Geno's later
on. This has been so I couldkind of like, Edge him out by
just like we'd have the hole weused to play edge in Johnny's
yard. We used to play football,like all the time tag any any
(24:00):
game, and we'd have all theneighborhood kids over and I
could just, I would kind oftarget Vince. I'm like, I'm
gonna beat you and all this.
Do you ever consider swattingevents?
We can talk about that. Youcan't joke about that. That's a
real thing that causes peopledeath. Keys, Jamie.
I was talking about hitting himslightly off the face.
(24:25):
It's so dark, so dark.
We've noticed the street lightshave come on, which means it's
time to end the segment. So it'stime to go home. Well, it has
been our great pleasure both tolaunch the new name. Yes. Best
of luck with it. Thank you.
It's really great, by the way.
I mean, it's terrific. Thanks,Tommy. Brandon, you Oh, sorry.
Tommy. Hi, tops. Yeah, it'scatching on. It's gonna be huge.
(24:45):
Rip, schneidman. Yeah, right.
All right, Pete Brandon. Yeah.
Sure. Like,but you know what, when you get
those branded cards, those arethe most valuable baseball
cards.
There's like there's only likeMine is pretty weak. Oh yeah
there was only like 12shows we got it
(25:08):
all right for Jamie Jamie andAdam and Tommy as well this has
been comedy roundtable put thechair back where you found it we
will put the chair away for ourguest this week look for him
online consumed content. I wouldstart with the Tommy part
because that probably isn'tgoing to change
that won't change ever I'm somekid Tommy everywhere on the
internet so goodTommy everywhere on the internet
where your favorite content isfound. All right comedy
(25:31):
roundtable. We will be back nexttime. Thank you so much from the
punch line comedy Club here inadd a lentil
Ladies and gentlemen, comedy roundtable coming up on
this episode.
Here's the thing. I will fart ona plane. Yeah,
that could be a bad start,man your top five felonies?
Oh no. Okay. So now when therose is blooming any annuals
blooming? Yeah, does the rosebloom and say I'm back? Yeah me
(00:24):
like not Tommy. I'm Steve. Butyou look just like Tommy. I
know. Iknow, Steve, I heard about him.
We have saved a chair for you,our listener and we've also
saved a chair here at theroundtable for our guest this
evening. Tommy Brennan.
Hey, thanks. Actually,that's kind of breaking news is
the first podcast you'reappearing on? It's true. As
Tommy Brennan Yeah, it'd beThomas.
(00:48):
Thomas Brennan. Schneemann is myis my whole name. And I'm going
through an identity crisis. Ithought about changing just
going by Tommy Brennan since Istarted stand up and I never did
it. And then I finally just Ijust I rip the band aid off the
last couple of weeks. And I'mdoing it Megan leap.
Tommy, Brandon seems like a guyyou'd hang around with the guy
from the neighborhood my buddy.
Yeah. You remember Tommy Brennangoing with? Everybody knows Tom.
(01:11):
Everybody knows. Wow. Did he endup doing? And I kind of lost
track of Tommy.
Oh, yeah.
He did some time he had that.
Definitelydo get caught up with the wrong
crowd.
Your real name is Tommy Brennan.
Schneemann. Schneemann. Yeah, Ithink Schneemann was the way to
go.
Like Schneemann don't tell methis right after I did it. Yeah,
(01:34):
you do to me Brennan and a TomShannyn. Minh
Tom Schneemann. Have twodifferent two different ship
chippers. Yeah. I just I justyeah, just put myself on that
level with Jim. Jim Norton. Ranit right away. What a cool
interesting.
Chip Jefferson. Yeah.
I can see the marquee you'reboth names. Yeah, that's the
(01:57):
mark.
It would actually be terrific.
If you never actuallyacknowledged the fact just come
out. Yeah, just did you did thecome out as the host introduced
you as the feature you come out.
You do entirely different jokes.
entirely different things. Thankyou and good night.
And then the guys are gonna loveyour headline. Back and then
(02:17):
they bring you back. A jacket.
No, no, no, no,don't change. I never actually
acknowledged it. The audienceis just like, what pick the same
guy for Tommy, you guys. He waspretty good. It was pretty good.
I like some of the stuff he wassaying. That was pretty funny.
Anyways, I'm Tomshaman is available now. It's
been relinquished. So if youwant to change your name, you
(02:38):
can Yeah, that'sreally Neiman. Yeah, it beats
the heck out of hey, hey, egg.
Yeah.
Hey, egg. Schneemann Yeah,yeah, we're Yeah, we're fighting
the samename and it could be a law firm.
Or a radio show is middle ofnowhere.
(02:58):
Stevens show. We're having fun.
The weatherthis morning. Just outside of
Fargo, North Dakota.
It's hazy, hot and humid again.
Tom does the news and he's like,let's go to Tommy for sports.
It's pretty simple format. We doround. Rounds of Lightning
Rounds. Rounds of lightning.
We do lightning round LightningRounds. Okay.
(03:20):
Yeah, we are going to give youthree topics to choose from. You
only need pick them one at atime. All right, and one will
not get used. Okay. So yoursubjects that you can choose
from are rivalries. spellingrules, or window. middle aisle.
(03:40):
Aislego. Window middle aisle. Yeah,
let's start there. For roundone. We are going window middle
aisle. Alright, starting withAdam. All right.
So there are seating issues onan airplane with the middle
window aisle. There are a lot ofthese interactions that we have
in our society but then thereare when you go to a restaurant
(04:02):
and you look at that tablebooth. Hi top. Yeah, right. And
so my question for you is wheredo you go if you have the table
booth Hi top choices and why?
Okay, so we're not going windowmiddle. Oh, no.
Yeah, I was like, wait tochoice. It's it's a it's a
season three. I'ma high top here. Yeah. Why do
you like the Hi, Johnny. Hi,top. Yeah, Tommy. Hi, Todd. This
(04:22):
is I got to consult you guys.
Next time. I changed my name.
We're here for purposes. Hey,yeah, I'm going high top
because, one, it's in a bar. Idon't like being landlocked in a
booth. Yeah. Unless I'm likereally having a big meal with
friends that I'm like, I know. Idon't care about asking you to
(04:43):
leave if I have to leave youknow, get out. I hate that high
atop is I think a safe move.
It's also I think it's thecoolest looking table in a in a
spain a restaurant. Yeah. And you
kind of are at a place ofauthority. Yeah,
maybe there's a little bit oflike an A like, yeah, like a
level thing to it like, I like abooth for like a late diner. I
(05:04):
guess this vibe basically likeif it's like 230 and we're going
in after shows. I'll take abooth. If it's a bar that we're
hanging out at. I'm going hightop.
Yeah though there are a bunch ofbooths here and low top tables
if there was one high top table,and you were in that table
everyone be liked.
Danny, how do you get the Hi?
I'm a little ambivalent about isthe in home high atop who?
(05:27):
The in home HeightsHigh atop kind of as like a nook
in the in the kitchen.
It's like their main kitchentable. Oh, whoa. No. So it's one
thing if you have high ceilings,right, but if you have regular
eight footers oh my god youbetter with a high top
and your climb is this high top?
Yeah,you can right up on the ceiling
at some point.
(05:48):
So footers worst combination ofall eight footers ceiling, high
top table under ceiling fansdon't even think about That's
crazy. That's basically cheatingdeath. Yeah,
yeah. You got like white capsand the gravy on your mashed
potatoes. Like hey, Hong Kongfinger goes up another guy just
got oh my god.
(06:11):
That's gonna play well on theaudio podcast. Yeah,
that's where we gotta havevideos. Good tech guy.
Yeah. All right. What do you gothim?
Alright, so someone sits, you'reon an airplane and someone sits
in the middle seat? Right nextto you. You want them out of
there. You do not want to takethis flight with this person
right next to you. What do youdo to get them to move?
I am the most nonconfrontational person I will
(06:32):
write down everything that theydid that annoyed me and I'll
talk about it later. And I willnot say a word. But if I really
had to get them to move. I mean,here's the thing. I will fart on
a plane. Yeah. Okay, that can bea bad start. This is whether or
not you're trying to get someoneto move. You'll just you got
holding back.
It started during the pandemicwhen everyone was wearing masks
on planes. Because I'm like,people can you can't really
(06:55):
smell that well through a mask.
Right? It could get trapped. Oh,yeah. So you're basically unless
they really get it in there andthen it's stuck. Right? But
yeah, so I was kind of funky.
Also, you realize everyone'swearing headphones if you fart
and I mean, no one is here. See?
I'm a fart headphone farterfear. I have a headphone farter
can't tell how loud it rightbecause I'm like, Did everyone
(07:16):
hear that? Or was my noisecanceling on and I just had it
was was it a silent you're doingit
was with your headphones on? Whydon't you take your headphones?
Take my headphones off andeveryone knows it's
you. Yeah. Then everyone's like,Oh, that guy just took his
headphones. You basically liftedyour leg. Yeah, that's
basically lifting a leg.
But you don't have any fear thatthe guy next to you is an Air
Marshal and you get taken outfor farting? Yes. Pretty
(07:36):
incredible. I mean, that wouldbe a very great story. Yeah, I
farted so bad. I got airmarshals. You're in jail.
Excuse like, what are you inhere for? You know, farting on a
plane.
You mentioned that that was partof the the training. Yeah. How'd
you flunk out of Air Marshal?
Did I got a weak nose?
(07:56):
I could not distinguish a fart.
I got a weak nose.
Actually, if I was the AirMarshal, I would fart on the
plane because I'd be like he'sdefinitely not the Air Marshal.
I'm gonna what air marshalsgonna fart on the plane. That
guy has no ideahow to behave. Yeah,
I hate farting on planes. Ialways it does freak me out a
little bit because I alwaysthink that somebody heard me
yeah, just hear that or did theyfeel the seat vibrate a little
(08:19):
bit as I did it.
I get self conscious on planesabout what people think of me
which is so funny because younever know we're gonna you'll
never see them again. They don'tknow your name anything and I'm
like that guy across the aislehates me. Yeah, it's generally
because I take edibles when Ifly. I think that's probably it.
In my head. Full paranoid. Yeah,like oh, he
(08:40):
knows. Yeah, he knows Am Ipissed about
that we're not aware of it.
You've been making direct eyecontact with him for the last 30
minutes.
disclosures that are you don'thave to be so professional. I
mean, I'm joking. I'm going tokeep edibles.
I have a follow up question. Aimyour top five felonies.
(09:03):
Okay. I'm gonna go well, Ifarted really bad on a plane one
time not a felony.
Window. Middle or aisle? Is thequestion. That was the question.
That was the category that wasthe category Yeah. Both Tom
and Tommy got done.
Do you attend a house ofworship? Now? Not anymore? When
(09:23):
you did? Were you attending withparents? Yeah. Okay. Do you
prefer Irel? Yes. Of pew. Towhat? To the middle to middle oh
my god, you middle of you.
That's Part A and Part B is howclose to the front?
I like going close to the frontof the second section of the I
love the bad call. Good call.
You know, you're early incommunion.
(09:45):
Yes. All right.
So set the stage for me. Are youinside the gifts are outside the
gifts, gifts gifts. I'm going totalk about this the auditory
auditory Yeah, right. What's thetechnical term for you and your
you and your youramazing plan are making He says
the Catholic Church. Yeah. Yeah,he's talking about when they're
bringing the gifts up today.
(10:06):
Yeah, that's their sat at atable there right in front of
me. Okay. So that's what I mean.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
I'm like, I like being like thethird row of the back half.
Okay.
I actually did go to theCatholic Church that you used to
go to recently, strangelyenough, and they're like, Isn't
my St. Thomas. Nice to be hereall the time? I was I was like,
(10:29):
whoa.
This guy's Minnesota.
Well, hold on a second. You'refrom Minnesota? Yeah. Oh,
no. Do you have a scoring systemfor people who have a scoring
system? I have a scoring systemthat says if you are from
Florida, you get a minus one inmy book. So like, yeah, you have
(10:50):
a handicap that you have to. I'mnot saying they're cool people
from Florida there are but ifyou tell me you're from Florida,
you're minus one like that. Ifyou tell me you're from
Minnesota, you are a plus one.
Wow. Yeah, it's totally true.
Man. I'm so impressed. And I'vesaid this on multiple podcasts.
I'm not just making it up. Irules people from Minnesota plus
one. It's very rare that I'vemet someone from Minnesota that
(11:12):
I didn't like that Allah. Yeah,it's I loved I think it might
have to do with the coldtemperatures and the fact that
you got to be inside and hangout with your you know, your
fellow human beings. Little morebonding. Yeah, you basically
can't be completely obnoxious.
Yeah. Right.
I agree. I mean, I know fromMinnesota, but I know a lot of
incredible people to write Ithink there is just a baseline
(11:35):
of a higher Yeah, that just sayswe're gonna get along a little
bit more get along a little bitbetter. Yeah, I agree.
One of these days. Adam is goingto meet somebody in Florida, who
was originally from St. Paul,and has moved to Florida. We're
gonna be very conflict. Zero.
Yeah, they're backthere. They're probably I think
it's where you're raised,though. But yeah,
going back half towards theaisle. Very good.
(11:56):
All right. Well, we are in theback half towards the aisle of
the first segment of the comedyround table with our guest,
Tommy Hi tops. And we'll be backwith more name changes. Like
this is the trend for theepisode. We are here. Live at
the punch line comedy club inAtlanta.
We got good people fromMinnesota. Well, the deck
(12:19):
doctor but it's also my doctor.
We're going to have a depositionbecause we have to have medical
talks and he's like, Youshouldn't drink less and I'm
like you shouldn't have more.
We grew up in a medicalhousehold you never go to the
doctor. I was 24 years oldbefore I went to a non my dad
doctor. I didn't know how to actwith this guy. He comes in he's
(12:43):
like Do you smoke? I was likeare you gonna tell mom eight
kids it's crazy. My dad figuredout the only way to be a doctor
and not be rich Dr. ache is goodas a farmer with one of the old
(13:08):
sayingI do call my youngest sister
boat though because that's whatwe could have had. You know. We
do love each other. We suck atsaying my mom and I when we hang
up the phone every time it'slove you bye Love You by storm.
When me and my dad and the phonecall. It's like 45 seconds of us
has been like we're scanningHey, comedy roundtable
(13:43):
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(14:28):
Whoa. Was there a couple of deepcuts it's kind of like putting
on a buying bread therematch.com And plenty of fish.
You guys basically dig deep theold fashioned way because that
was on a desktophang up the phone. To jump to
(14:56):
sales is the coolest thing I seeevery time I come to New York
every day it makes because I wasraised Midwestern little boy,
and I am so afraid of doingthat. But I lost my job this
week. So I dropped my first oneyesterday. I felt amazing. It
(15:19):
was on the way out, but it stilldid the trick. Yeah.
All right. comedy roundtable isback, Jamie, Jamie and Adam, our
guest, Tommy Brennan. We havetwo remaining subjects. They are
(15:42):
rivalries and spelling rules.
I'm gonna go rivalries,rivalries, starting with Adam.
In almost everything. There arerivals, trying to figure out
like, Where are their newrivals? And so my question for
you is, do you think there'srivalries among flowers? And if
(16:03):
so, which flowers are rivals?
I mean, perennials have to havea god complex,
right. Oh, yeah. They look atthe annuals that are like you.
I mean, you're not coming back.
Yeah. You're not coming back.
Right.
I mean, there's probably aninherent jealousy from the the
annuals to the perennials, butthe perennials probably, it's
probably they probably wouldn'tconsider it
a rival. Right. They're like,it's not even close.
(16:25):
Yeah, between them. Theyprobably do. Like I could see,
like a rosebush, because rosesgets so much love so much love
and they're kind of an uglyplant. A lot of the time, right.
So they probably have beef withlike, like a tulip. Yeah to have
is kind of a more conventionallybeautiful plant
comes up pops up real pretty fora little bit and roses. Stick
(16:46):
around for a long time. And thetulips like Yeah, but you're
ugly half the time. Yeah.
And the tulips when they are notin bloom. You don't really
notice them. No, like greenhere. We're
pretty that's what tulips saylike roses, you stay around for
months, but half the time notthat good.
But there's one thing they canagree on, which is damn annuals
does.
(17:09):
Yeah, exploring the questionfurther. Yeah.
Oh, we're gonna go. Next level.
Is the floweronly aware of its existence
while blooming?
No. Is it the whole plant? Or isit the flower?
Is it the flower? Because if itis just the flower, then does it
have an awareness of whether itis a perennial or an annual?
(17:31):
Yeah, the perennial is like it'sgetting ready to bloom. It's
like, hold on, hold my beer, andit just goes out there. Oh,
yeah, it was like,I think I could do this. I think
I know what's happening. I thinkit's gonna happen. Pretty easy
job.
This isn't gonna go well foryou. Literally. ever good.
Would you not want to be thenthe most attractive perennial?
(17:53):
Now I'm trying to figureout how to phrase like, we would
want to be your most attractive.
No, no, no. Well, sothe problem with the rose is a
rose is attractive enough to getclipped? Yeah, right. Oh, so
you'd want to be attractiveenough that you're planted, but
not attractive to be part of anarrangement or
(18:14):
flower versus plant to flower?
Flower right. Soyeah, so we can't go I can't go
fern.
How stupid That's so stupid.
Because I'm gonna be I'm gonnabe a firm because no one's gonna
clip me. Oh, okay. I'm gonna behanging up high above everybody
else looking down upon you gonnabe treated
practically like an annualyou're gonna be forget to be
(18:34):
watered. Yeah, you're gonna beI don't need they kind of go
grow just wild people walk overthem.
Yeah, at least a piece Lilygives power.
Like most famous for just beingin fossils. Yeah. Okay. Just
want to point out that the levelof anger ah
(18:56):
was a lot into the whole flowerdiscussion. It was absolutely
bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Everyone'spissed about it. I'm still
just thinking about whether ornot the flowers are aware that
they're part of the whole ornot. That's a good net. That's
prettyheavy. I just think if you
happen to bloom at the sametime, you wouldn't necessarily
know Yeah, right. Because if youhave a garden, so let's say if
you're talking about yourlandscaping, you have
(19:18):
perennials, and you have yourrosebush, but adjacent to your
rosebush. Do you plan an annual?
Okay, yeah. Right. So now whenthe rose is blooming, and the
annual is blooming, yeah. Doesthe rose bloom and say, I'm
back? Yeah, me. Like not Tommy.
I'm Steve. But you look justlike Tommy.
(19:40):
I know. I know, Steve. I heardabout him. Yeah.
You didn't because you didn'texist last year. Yeah. He'd
like to think we live in a worldwhere there's an elitist group
of perennials who are aware thatthey come back every year but we
come in from there.
That's the firm. Yeah,the firm never we're done
with that question. Thank youJohn for ruining it. You ruined
(20:01):
it for everybody.
All right rivalries. What isyour favorite species of fern?
So stupid. All right, so youfind yourself on the
international professionalFoosball circuit. Yes. Done, but
you need to take out yourrivals. How do you sabotage your
rivals on the foosball?
International professionalpoisoning? Absolutely. Oh,
(20:27):
so easy to get on the stick?
Yeah, well, I'm the handle. Iwasn't the I don't think they
ever really like suck on thehandles.
Maybe you haven't played likehigh level weird green bars
(20:47):
just take the time to write themout.
In the thought it was gonna beyou touch it with your hand and
eventually it getsYeah. Yeah, that's what I
assumed.
I was thinking like, maybe likethat. You put the advising stuff
in there B or something likethat. Kind of a food thing?
(21:08):
Yeah. Yeah. That makes yourstomach upset. Real quick.
I drops. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
By the way, like you don't know.
Oh, that's Minnesota for youright there. Nice. Nice. Nice.
So I do have a theory. It ismostly passive aggressive. Oh,
it's Minnesota. Nice is like,everyone's like, Oh, your mom's
(21:29):
so nice. Like she I mean, she'sbehind your back. Yeah. Yeah.
She's great at the grocerystore.
I get it.
Let me run this by everybody.
Okay, we're all familiar withthe large gumball. Yeah. Are we
though? Yes. So what if youplayed Foosball with the large
gumball? And every time youscored a goal, somebody on the
(21:51):
losing team had to eat thegumball. knocking it around on
the foosball court. The grossbar Foosball core. Yeah, we
score somebody on the losersteam has to eat the gumball.
I think about the outside of thefoosball court. Maybe not that
bad. But you know, the tunnelsthat that was the last time they
(22:11):
flush those tunnels like nevernever flush the tunnel.
So no one's ever clean out.
So it's part of the game. Also,it'd
be hilarious if you get scoredon a bunch and then like, you
gottaspit it out. Keep it in there.
You gottatake chipmunks. Oh my god. My
jaw hurts.
What's the score? Hold on.
(22:33):
Yeah. Rivalries. Benderrivalries. Yes. You were once a
child. You lived in theneighborhood. Did you have a
childhood? Neighborhood? Rival?
Done? For sure. We don't needyour name. And I'm worried Yeah.
What was her name?
(22:55):
Well, I had Vince Anderson for alittle while and then Gino
Chicka rally for a little whileto those are. Those are both
kind of rounds. What was this?
What was the start of the whatwas the core of the rivalry?
It was probably clicking thisbut I had my best friend of all
time lived across the block,literally across the street. And
(23:15):
there's like just a city block.
And then Vince lived like justone block up, but it was far
enough where he was kind of onthe outskirts. Yeah, but then
there was a time that he kind ofstole Johnny my best friend. Oh,
Shane.
Johnny, Tommy Vinnie.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like, Hey,what is this about?
The North without telling meyou're from the North? Yeah. Oh,
(23:37):
no, no. How did you settle therivalry?
I think I was better than him atsports. And that ended up just
being like, you know, I could, Icould kind of like Geno's later
on. This has been so I couldkind of like, Edge him out by
just like we'd have the hole weused to play edge in Johnny's
yard. We used to play football,like all the time tag any any
(24:00):
game, and we'd have all theneighborhood kids over and I
could just, I would kind oftarget Vince. I'm like, I'm
gonna beat you and all this.
Do you ever consider swattingevents?
We can talk about that. Youcan't joke about that. That's a
real thing that causes peopledeath. Keys, Jamie.
I was talking about hitting himslightly off the face.
(24:25):
It's so dark, so dark.
We've noticed the street lightshave come on, which means it's
time to end the segment. So it'stime to go home. Well, it has
been our great pleasure both tolaunch the new name. Yes. Best
of luck with it. Thank you.
It's really great, by the way.
I mean, it's terrific. Thanks,Tommy. Brandon, you Oh, sorry.
Tommy. Hi, tops. Yeah, it'scatching on. It's gonna be huge.
(24:45):
Rip, schneidman. Yeah, right.
All right, Pete Brandon. Yeah.
Sure. Like,but you know what, when you get
those branded cards, those arethe most valuable baseball
cards.
There's like there's only likeMine is pretty weak. Oh yeah
there was only like 12shows we got it
(25:08):
all right for Jamie Jamie andAdam and Tommy as well this has
been comedy roundtable put thechair back where you found it we
will put the chair away for ourguest this week look for him
online consumed content. I wouldstart with the Tommy part
because that probably isn'tgoing to change
that won't change ever I'm somekid Tommy everywhere on the
internet so goodTommy everywhere on the internet
where your favorite content isfound. All right comedy
(25:31):
roundtable. We will be back nexttime. Thank you so much from the
punch line comedy Club here inadd a lentil
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