February 3, 2025 • 17 mins
Ever wondered how the stress of caregiving can silently creep into your life and take a toll on your well-being? As a caregiver myself, I share intimate insights into how burnout often goes unnoticed, especially during the demanding holiday season. This episode sheds light on the cultural and generational barriers that prevent many from seeking help. By sharing personal stories, we tackle the stigma surrounding caregiver burnout and reveal how connecting with online communities can offer much-needed solidarity. Take a glimpse into our article in Cooper City Living Magazine, which further explores this timely issue.
Discover practical strategies to manage caregiving responsibilities and keep burnout at bay. From the art of delegation to carving out personal time, we provide tools that ensure mental health remains a priority. We emphasize the importance of open communication in caregiving roles and discuss the pivotal role of respite care in providing relief without diminishing the caregiver’s value. By confronting pride and ego, caregivers can unlock the benefits of additional support, leading to a healthier caregiving journey. Join us for an exploration of these vital topics, ensuring caregivers feel empowered and supported in their roles.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Well, hello, hello, everyone, and welcome back to
another episode of the ComfortKeepers Davy podcast.
You know, Christy, caring for aloved one is indeed a labor of
love, is it not?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, yes, there's nothing else to say.
It is definitely a labor oflove.
It takes a lot out of us.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, it often presents some difficult
challenges.
I know having two children as acaregiver to them it can be
very difficult.
I've never thankfully I'venever had to deal with caring
for elderly folks, but I knowthere is burnout that can occur,
yes.
So what is caregiver burnoutand why is it so critical to
(00:57):
address this?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Burnout is the state of just being physically,
mentally, emotionally exhaustedby providing caregiving services
to somebody that you're relatedto or somebody that's unrelated
.
It's important to talk aboutbecause there's a stigma around
it.
So just imagine this You'repart of a big family unit and
you take care of your own that'swhat I hear all the time.
We take care of your own that'swhat I hear all the time.
We take care of our own, whichis lovely, my family's, the same
(01:29):
way, we take care of oneanother as well.
However, it gets to a pointwhere that stigma comes up and
you need help, but you're afraidto talk about it or judgment,
fear of just what you've seenmodeled for you in the past.
So oftentimes caregiver burnoutis not talked about until it
gets to a point where it's justunbearable to handle and some
(01:51):
people don't even know that thatis what they're experiencing,
but in fact it is.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Why do you think that is, though?
Is that like an ego thing?
Why do caregivers often feelguilty about asking for help?
And how can you overcome thatmindset?
Because everybody needs help.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Right, can't go at it alone well, I think you have to
look at generations right.
You have to think about justthe way people were raised, and
I think we've talked about thisbefore.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Right the stubborn.
I went to school.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
When I went to school , I walked 10 miles through snow
and ice but you have have toimagine too there are also
cultural things as well.
Different cultures holddifferent standards and just
practices.
So you want to respecteverybody's practices and what
their wishes are, but also givethem the permission to be able
(02:40):
to lay down actual feelings,their emotions, so that they can
talk about what they'reactually experiencing.
So you asked if it's somebody'sego.
It could be somebody's pride,and they're just afraid to
approach that.
But oftentimes, and what I'veexperienced is that once they do
, they do feel a lot betterbecause they realize like, okay,
(03:00):
I'm not the only one that hasdealt with this or is dealing
with this.
You never are.
But until you talk to somebodythat truly understands it's,
it's really hard to to convinceyourself otherwise.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
That reminds me of dealing with some my daughter's
12.
So she's entering the teenyears and she's going through
some challenging times and Istarted watching, like YouTube
videos, and you know, I look atthe comments and I'm going down
and it's going through somechallenging times and I started
watching YouTube videos and Ilook at the comments and I'm
going down and it's like everyother comment like my child
won't talk to me, won't this?
Like I'm not alone.
Okay, it's okay to get helpsometimes.
(03:35):
I know you recently wrote anarticle on this very topic for
Cooper City Living Magazinewhich is going to be included in
the March issue.
Why was this on your radar now?
Obviously, you deal with this.
This is your job.
But what's going on right now,what's coming up now that's got
you thinking about this issue?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Well, we just came out of the busiest time of the
year Holiday time so forgetabout caring for anybody.
Were you overwhelmed at anypoint in time over the last
couple months with the holidays?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Okay.
So for me, I think about allthe way back to September.
Okay, september, for me I'mthinking back to school.
There's a lot of changes thathappen when back to school
happens for a lot of families.
So you've got changes there,changes in your everyday
programming per se.
Then you have October.
You're getting into thechanging of the seasons,
(04:31):
depending on where you live.
You've got Halloween.
If you celebrate Halloween,just like, again, things to
participate in.
November comes around.
You have your thanksgiving, sofamily, more family travel.
Christmas comes around, andthen you have new year.
So it's just been back to backto back of all, and I'm not
projecting, but that is like mylife too.
(04:52):
That's what the last day you'rea busy bee, christy quarter has
looked like, but I'm just sayingthat generally speaking.
This time of year we're dealingwith weather changes.
It's been cold in Florida, hasit not?
It's been so cold, unseasonablycold.
It's cold everywhere.
But these things all start tolike layer and at the same time
(05:15):
we're caring for our elderlyloved ones.
We're doing everything that wecan, we think that we can do for
ourselves, but we're not, sowe're getting burnt out.
So that's why I felt like itwas such a good time to talk
about caregiver burnout, becausewe're just on the cusp of
coming out of all of theseactivities, all these holidays
that everybody celebrates andjust the busyness of the season.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Tis the season.
What are some common signs ofburnout that caregivers might
not?
Because it's all aboutperspective, right, you get
caught up in your own situationand often you don't realize
there's a problem, but it'sstaring you right in front of
the face.
So, like, what are some signsthat caregivers can look for
that they might be going throughburnout and they need to get
some help?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I think one of the most telling signs that others
can usually see before likeyourself would look internally
and realize it's happening isirritability, just feeling to
the point of you're frustrated.
You're frustrated with a lot ofthings that you don't know how
to verbalize that, or you justhaven't verbalized it.
You're internalizing it all.
So you inevitably become alittle bit shorter fused, a
(06:27):
little bit more irritable.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You get testy?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Absolutely, and you're not meaning to, but
that's just the way that you'refeeling.
You're physically exhausted,you may not be sleeping at night
, you may not have the abilityto sleep, depending on what it
is that you're helping yourloved one with, and if that's
through the night, so you'regetting a disrupted sleep
pattern, you may feel likeyou're coming down with the cold
(06:51):
or the flu and you just can'tkick it.
You just you don't feel yourbest and on top of that, you're
irritable.
So all these things that arehappening really can have a
lasting impact on somebody ifthey don't stop what they're
doing to address it, and there'stwo sides to this coin.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Right there's the caregiver and getting burnt out,
but then how that translates inhow they're taking care of the
person they're caring for.
Because if you're not wellyourself, how can you possibly
do a good job taking care ofsomebody else?
You always got to get yourselfright first so you could then
help others right.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Right?
No, you're absolutely right and, honestly, when you see
caregivers experiencing burnout,they're not intentionally
trying to do less for the personthat they love, that they're
trying to care for.
But you're right, it'sinevitable that the care, the
level of care that they shouldbe providing, that they know
that they're capable ofproviding when they're in a
better place mentally,physically and emotionally,
(07:50):
they're not quite able to get.
So it's like the saying thatyou can't pour from an empty cup
.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to say, that if
you haven't cared for yourselfand it's a very hard thing for
people to set aside time forthemselves you can't care for
others to the best of yourability.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Got to fill that cup, Got to take care of yourself
Absolutely.
And I know you've worked withcountless families.
You've had interactions withtons of caregivers.
And I know you've worked withcountless families, You've had
interactions with tons ofcaregivers, I'm sure you've seen
it all right.
What are some of the long-termconsequences that you've seen
for caregivers, family members,folks that ultimately did reach
out to you but went at it toolong trying to help on their own
(08:33):
and dealing with that?
What are some of theconsequences you've seen in
those caregivers that didn'treally address their burnout
early enough?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I think one of the most common things.
If you really get to that pointand I hope it's very far and
few between we get to that, thispoint but you get apathetic,
you just, you almost don't evencare anymore.
It's it's very sad to see whensomething like that happens
because they just want to throwin the towel.
I'm just, I'm too tired, Idon't want to do this anymore.
(09:02):
But you know, here I am andI've got this person I need to
care for.
So what do I do?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
All the more reason, all the more reason to get help
early.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Before you get too burned out.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And here's the thing when somebody asks for help, it
doesn't have to be a daily thingLike you can start out with hey
, I just need to delegate someof the things that I'm that are
on my plate.
What can I delegate out?
And maybe it's not taking careof this individual, but maybe
it's something else that's onyour plate, maybe it's running a
separate air and picking upgroceries.
(09:37):
Whatever it might be.
What can you delegate to takeit off of your plate?
That's a huge thing.
The moment you can like openyour eyes and see that, um,
that'll make a big, bigdifference.
But the other thing, too is,truly, if you can ask for help
and you can get respite just fora day, twice a month, even,
depending on what it is thatyou're doing, that's going to
(09:59):
make a big difference.
It doesn't have to be aneveryday thing.
It can just be a couple times amonth that you're saying, okay,
I need to step away Today'sgoing to be a me day.
This is what I need to do.
I mean, that makes a hugedifference in someone's overall
mental health.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Just eases the burden ever so slightly.
It does.
We've talked about this beforein terms of how to approach
these topics, theseconversations.
We've talked about it when it'stime to actually get help.
How do you approach thoseconversations?
How do you?
What's your best advice forstarting the conversation?
So, let's say, you're acaregiver out there and you're
(10:35):
starting to feel, or you'restarting to feel burned out,
what's the best way to approachthat?
Or from your lens, right Likehow do you, how do you bring
that topic up to somebody?
Just to approach that, or fromyour lens right, like how do you
, how do you bring that?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
topic up to somebody, Just bring it up.
I guess I'm so, so simple tosay Hit them right, hit them
right straight up with a two byfour.
It is just one of those thingswhere if you can just sit down
and be vulnerable for just a fewminutes and just say listen,
I'm struggling, I love you, I'mhere for you, I'm helping you,
but I also need to care for me.
So, having that conversation astransparent as possible, more
(11:15):
often than not you're receivedvery, very well because
ultimately, they are indebted toyou for caring for them.
They want you to be well.
They ultimately and what I seethe most of is they carry then a
sense of guilt.
They feel so bad, and that'snot the goal of this
conversation either.
But it has to start with agentle conversation that is just
(11:36):
let's sit down before it getsto that irritable conversation.
That's where you don't want itto get, where you're just so
frustrated with everythingthat's going on.
Don't have a conversation atthat point.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Have a soft, quiet one.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
One of the tricks I've encountered through my
travels in life is, wheneverthere's a difficult topic to
bring up, or you need to asksomebody something uncomfortable
or whatever it is, always getpermission first before you go
into the conversation.
Right, like ask, like hey, I'mnoticing something, I kind of
want to tell you something, butI don't want to offend you or I,
I, I know you're going throughthis, I just how could I best do
that?
Right, and you get thepermission like well, just tell
(12:12):
me.
And then you're like okay, andthen you can hit him with it.
Sometimes that helps a lot whenyou're having a difficult,
difficult conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Yeah, I Truly, and I think that's great advice, and
each situation is a little bitdifferent, but the sooner you
can have that conversation likewe've said over and over again
earlier on in the caregivingexperience, the better.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah, what do you?
What would you say to someoneout there that is hesitant?
Right, they're feeling, they'refeeling the burn, they're
stressed out, but they're justin.
You know, like we talked aboutthe ego's in the way, whatever
it is, they just don't want toget help.
What would you say to them?
To, I guess, open the door tothe possibility of starting that
conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
What do they have to lose?
They?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
have everything to gain, love it.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Truly, they have everything to gain by having an
extra set of hands to help themout with anything, and whether
that's something like comfortkeepers coming in and helping
for a day or two a month, a week, whatever it is, the way that
it's approached for us is wejust.
We want to hear the root ofeverything.
The way that it's approachedfor us is we just.
(13:23):
We want to hear the root ofeverything.
What is it that's on your plate?
That's so much.
What can we do to helpalleviate that?
And if that's sitting with yourloved one for so many hours
while you go out into nature andjust enjoy yourself, fantastic,
that's all that we'll do.
If it's more, you need us torun the doctor's appointments,
because they're back to back andthen stop at the pharmacy and
then stop and get groceries, wecan do that too.
(13:46):
There's a lot of running around,there's a lot of things, but
the more honest you are withyourself, then I think that the
more options you have forsomebody to come in and help you
.
We're not taking over, nobody'staking over your role.
I think that's another thingtoo.
People get very anxious whenit's their pride, their ego, but
(14:06):
they also don't want to be feelreplaced, and that is not the
case at all.
We could never replace somebody.
Nobody could ever replace whoyou are in your loved one's life
.
But we can help you be the bestversion of yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
You mentioned a word earlier respite.
Is it pronounced respite?
Respite, that's right.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Respite.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yes.
So for those that don't knowwhat is respite care and how
does this help alleviate some ofthe pressures that caregivers
face?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
So respite just essentially means providing rest
.
So we are yeah, we'realleviating somebody from their
pulse per se.
We're coming in to do what itis that they do so that they can
get away.
So we're providing rest for aprimary care giver so they can
rest and rejuvenate.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
All right.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What did I miss anything here?
I'm going through.
I got some notes here.
You've given some great advice.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is there any other, any other advice or anything
that we kind of glossed over?
I think that when I I'm notgoing to talk about a family
member now at this point, butwhen I think about career
caregivers people have been inthis industry and they've worked
with a lot of differentindividuals throughout their
career when I think about careercaregivers people who've been
in this industry and they'veworked with a lot of different
individuals throughout theircareer I think that sometimes
they are the most caregiverblind to burnout.
They really are because theyare doing such a phenomenal job
(15:37):
with what they're doing.
They're getting paid for whatthey do.
It's a different dynamic whenit's not your loved one, but
truly they become like anotherloved one for yourself.
I challenge those individuals toreally look within, because at
the end of the day, when they'renot in that person's home,
they're not on the clock per se.
(15:59):
How are they feeling?
How are they Like?
I think people need to do morecheck-ins with themselves and
I've seen some really phenomenalcaregivers get burnt out
because they do not do that.
They don't.
So this is not just for familymembers.
This is for caregivers caringfor anybody a neighbor, a church
(16:20):
friend, just anybody.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I want to do something different before we
wrap up here.
Okay, anyone that's listeningout there that is currently a
caregiver.
I want you to go into thecomments section and, if you've
experienced burnout before,leave some tips that you've
dealt with in your life thathave helped you.
And we'll go through thecomments and we'll look and
(16:45):
we'll pick out the one thatstands out, the one piece of
advice, the thing that we didn'ttalk about, the thing that even
Christy never heard of, and wewant to invite you on the
podcast to talk a little bitabout what you do and tell your
story.
I think that'll be fun.
We'd love to have you and, asalways, of course, if, if you
need help with any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Give Christy a call.
Please do the best.
You're the best.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Christy.
Thank you All right everyone.
Thanks so much for tuning inand we will look forward to
catching you next time on thenext episode of the comfort
keepers Davey podcast.
Everyone stay happy, stayhealthy and stay blessed, take
care thank you for listening tothe comfort keepers davey
(17:31):
podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
For more information, visit comfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Well, hello, hello, everyone, and welcome back to
another episode of the ComfortKeepers Davy podcast.
You know, Christy, caring for aloved one is indeed a labor of
love, is it not?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, yes, there's nothing else to say.
It is definitely a labor oflove.
It takes a lot out of us.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, it often presents some difficult
challenges.
I know having two children as acaregiver to them it can be
very difficult.
I've never thankfully I'venever had to deal with caring
for elderly folks, but I knowthere is burnout that can occur,
yes.
So what is caregiver burnoutand why is it so critical to
(00:57):
address this?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Burnout is the state of just being physically,
mentally, emotionally exhaustedby providing caregiving services
to somebody that you're relatedto or somebody that's unrelated
.
It's important to talk aboutbecause there's a stigma around
it.
So just imagine this You'repart of a big family unit and
you take care of your own that'swhat I hear all the time.
We take care of your own that'swhat I hear all the time.
We take care of our own, whichis lovely, my family's, the same
(01:29):
way, we take care of oneanother as well.
However, it gets to a pointwhere that stigma comes up and
you need help, but you're afraidto talk about it or judgment,
fear of just what you've seenmodeled for you in the past.
So oftentimes caregiver burnoutis not talked about until it
gets to a point where it's justunbearable to handle and some
(01:51):
people don't even know that thatis what they're experiencing,
but in fact it is.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Why do you think that is, though?
Is that like an ego thing?
Why do caregivers often feelguilty about asking for help?
And how can you overcome thatmindset?
Because everybody needs help.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Right, can't go at it alone well, I think you have to
look at generations right.
You have to think about justthe way people were raised, and
I think we've talked about thisbefore.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Right the stubborn.
I went to school.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
When I went to school , I walked 10 miles through snow
and ice but you have have toimagine too there are also
cultural things as well.
Different cultures holddifferent standards and just
practices.
So you want to respecteverybody's practices and what
their wishes are, but also givethem the permission to be able
(02:40):
to lay down actual feelings,their emotions, so that they can
talk about what they'reactually experiencing.
So you asked if it's somebody'sego.
It could be somebody's pride,and they're just afraid to
approach that.
But oftentimes, and what I'veexperienced is that once they do
, they do feel a lot betterbecause they realize like, okay,
(03:00):
I'm not the only one that hasdealt with this or is dealing
with this.
You never are.
But until you talk to somebodythat truly understands it's,
it's really hard to to convinceyourself otherwise.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
That reminds me of dealing with some my daughter's
12.
So she's entering the teenyears and she's going through
some challenging times and Istarted watching, like YouTube
videos, and you know, I look atthe comments and I'm going down
and it's going through somechallenging times and I started
watching YouTube videos and Ilook at the comments and I'm
going down and it's like everyother comment like my child
won't talk to me, won't this?
Like I'm not alone.
Okay, it's okay to get helpsometimes.
(03:35):
I know you recently wrote anarticle on this very topic for
Cooper City Living Magazinewhich is going to be included in
the March issue.
Why was this on your radar now?
Obviously, you deal with this.
This is your job.
But what's going on right now,what's coming up now that's got
you thinking about this issue?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Well, we just came out of the busiest time of the
year Holiday time so forgetabout caring for anybody.
Were you overwhelmed at anypoint in time over the last
couple months with the holidays?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Okay.
So for me, I think about allthe way back to September.
Okay, september, for me I'mthinking back to school.
There's a lot of changes thathappen when back to school
happens for a lot of families.
So you've got changes there,changes in your everyday
programming per se.
Then you have October.
You're getting into thechanging of the seasons,
(04:31):
depending on where you live.
You've got Halloween.
If you celebrate Halloween,just like, again, things to
participate in.
November comes around.
You have your thanksgiving, sofamily, more family travel.
Christmas comes around, andthen you have new year.
So it's just been back to backto back of all, and I'm not
projecting, but that is like mylife too.
(04:52):
That's what the last day you'rea busy bee, christy quarter has
looked like, but I'm just sayingthat generally speaking.
This time of year we're dealingwith weather changes.
It's been cold in Florida, hasit not?
It's been so cold, unseasonablycold.
It's cold everywhere.
But these things all start tolike layer and at the same time
(05:15):
we're caring for our elderlyloved ones.
We're doing everything that wecan, we think that we can do for
ourselves, but we're not, sowe're getting burnt out.
So that's why I felt like itwas such a good time to talk
about caregiver burnout, becausewe're just on the cusp of
coming out of all of theseactivities, all these holidays
that everybody celebrates andjust the busyness of the season.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Tis the season.
What are some common signs ofburnout that caregivers might
not?
Because it's all aboutperspective, right, you get
caught up in your own situationand often you don't realize
there's a problem, but it'sstaring you right in front of
the face.
So, like, what are some signsthat caregivers can look for
that they might be going throughburnout and they need to get
some help?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I think one of the most telling signs that others
can usually see before likeyourself would look internally
and realize it's happening isirritability, just feeling to
the point of you're frustrated.
You're frustrated with a lot ofthings that you don't know how
to verbalize that, or you justhaven't verbalized it.
You're internalizing it all.
So you inevitably become alittle bit shorter fused, a
(06:27):
little bit more irritable.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You get testy?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Absolutely, and you're not meaning to, but
that's just the way that you'refeeling.
You're physically exhausted,you may not be sleeping at night
, you may not have the abilityto sleep, depending on what it
is that you're helping yourloved one with, and if that's
through the night, so you'regetting a disrupted sleep
pattern, you may feel likeyou're coming down with the cold
(06:51):
or the flu and you just can'tkick it.
You just you don't feel yourbest and on top of that, you're
irritable.
So all these things that arehappening really can have a
lasting impact on somebody ifthey don't stop what they're
doing to address it, and there'stwo sides to this coin.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Right there's the caregiver and getting burnt out,
but then how that translates inhow they're taking care of the
person they're caring for.
Because if you're not wellyourself, how can you possibly
do a good job taking care ofsomebody else?
You always got to get yourselfright first so you could then
help others right.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Right?
No, you're absolutely right and, honestly, when you see
caregivers experiencing burnout,they're not intentionally
trying to do less for the personthat they love, that they're
trying to care for.
But you're right, it'sinevitable that the care, the
level of care that they shouldbe providing, that they know
that they're capable ofproviding when they're in a
better place mentally,physically and emotionally,
(07:50):
they're not quite able to get.
So it's like the saying thatyou can't pour from an empty cup
.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to say, that if
you haven't cared for yourselfand it's a very hard thing for
people to set aside time forthemselves you can't care for
others to the best of yourability.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Got to fill that cup, Got to take care of yourself
Absolutely.
And I know you've worked withcountless families.
You've had interactions withtons of caregivers.
And I know you've worked withcountless families, You've had
interactions with tons ofcaregivers, I'm sure you've seen
it all right.
What are some of the long-termconsequences that you've seen
for caregivers, family members,folks that ultimately did reach
out to you but went at it toolong trying to help on their own
(08:33):
and dealing with that?
What are some of theconsequences you've seen in
those caregivers that didn'treally address their burnout
early enough?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I think one of the most common things.
If you really get to that pointand I hope it's very far and
few between we get to that, thispoint but you get apathetic,
you just, you almost don't evencare anymore.
It's it's very sad to see whensomething like that happens
because they just want to throwin the towel.
I'm just, I'm too tired, Idon't want to do this anymore.
(09:02):
But you know, here I am andI've got this person I need to
care for.
So what do I do?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
All the more reason, all the more reason to get help
early.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Before you get too burned out.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And here's the thing when somebody asks for help, it
doesn't have to be a daily thingLike you can start out with hey
, I just need to delegate someof the things that I'm that are
on my plate.
What can I delegate out?
And maybe it's not taking careof this individual, but maybe
it's something else that's onyour plate, maybe it's running a
separate air and picking upgroceries.
(09:37):
Whatever it might be.
What can you delegate to takeit off of your plate?
That's a huge thing.
The moment you can like openyour eyes and see that, um,
that'll make a big, bigdifference.
But the other thing, too is,truly, if you can ask for help
and you can get respite just fora day, twice a month, even,
depending on what it is thatyou're doing, that's going to
(09:59):
make a big difference.
It doesn't have to be aneveryday thing.
It can just be a couple times amonth that you're saying, okay,
I need to step away Today'sgoing to be a me day.
This is what I need to do.
I mean, that makes a hugedifference in someone's overall
mental health.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Just eases the burden ever so slightly.
It does.
We've talked about this beforein terms of how to approach
these topics, theseconversations.
We've talked about it when it'stime to actually get help.
How do you approach thoseconversations?
How do you?
What's your best advice forstarting the conversation?
So, let's say, you're acaregiver out there and you're
(10:35):
starting to feel, or you'restarting to feel burned out,
what's the best way to approachthat?
Or from your lens, right Likehow do you, how do you bring
that topic up to somebody?
Just to approach that, or fromyour lens right, like how do you
, how do you bring that?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
topic up to somebody, Just bring it up.
I guess I'm so, so simple tosay Hit them right, hit them
right straight up with a two byfour.
It is just one of those thingswhere if you can just sit down
and be vulnerable for just a fewminutes and just say listen,
I'm struggling, I love you, I'mhere for you, I'm helping you,
but I also need to care for me.
So, having that conversation astransparent as possible, more
(11:15):
often than not you're receivedvery, very well because
ultimately, they are indebted toyou for caring for them.
They want you to be well.
They ultimately and what I seethe most of is they carry then a
sense of guilt.
They feel so bad, and that'snot the goal of this
conversation either.
But it has to start with agentle conversation that is just
(11:36):
let's sit down before it getsto that irritable conversation.
That's where you don't want itto get, where you're just so
frustrated with everythingthat's going on.
Don't have a conversation atthat point.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Have a soft, quiet one.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
One of the tricks I've encountered through my
travels in life is, wheneverthere's a difficult topic to
bring up, or you need to asksomebody something uncomfortable
or whatever it is, always getpermission first before you go
into the conversation.
Right, like ask, like hey, I'mnoticing something, I kind of
want to tell you something, butI don't want to offend you or I,
I, I know you're going throughthis, I just how could I best do
that?
Right, and you get thepermission like well, just tell
(12:12):
me.
And then you're like okay, andthen you can hit him with it.
Sometimes that helps a lot whenyou're having a difficult,
difficult conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Yeah, I Truly, and I think that's great advice, and
each situation is a little bitdifferent, but the sooner you
can have that conversation likewe've said over and over again
earlier on in the caregivingexperience, the better.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah, what do you?
What would you say to someoneout there that is hesitant?
Right, they're feeling, they'refeeling the burn, they're
stressed out, but they're justin.
You know, like we talked aboutthe ego's in the way, whatever
it is, they just don't want toget help.
What would you say to them?
To, I guess, open the door tothe possibility of starting that
conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
What do they have to lose?
They?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
have everything to gain, love it.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Truly, they have everything to gain by having an
extra set of hands to help themout with anything, and whether
that's something like comfortkeepers coming in and helping
for a day or two a month, a week, whatever it is, the way that
it's approached for us is wejust.
We want to hear the root ofeverything.
The way that it's approachedfor us is we just.
(13:23):
We want to hear the root ofeverything.
What is it that's on your plate?
That's so much.
What can we do to helpalleviate that?
And if that's sitting with yourloved one for so many hours
while you go out into nature andjust enjoy yourself, fantastic,
that's all that we'll do.
If it's more, you need us torun the doctor's appointments,
because they're back to back andthen stop at the pharmacy and
then stop and get groceries, wecan do that too.
(13:46):
There's a lot of running around,there's a lot of things, but
the more honest you are withyourself, then I think that the
more options you have forsomebody to come in and help you
.
We're not taking over, nobody'staking over your role.
I think that's another thingtoo.
People get very anxious whenit's their pride, their ego, but
(14:06):
they also don't want to be feelreplaced, and that is not the
case at all.
We could never replace somebody.
Nobody could ever replace whoyou are in your loved one's life
.
But we can help you be the bestversion of yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
You mentioned a word earlier respite.
Is it pronounced respite?
Respite, that's right.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Respite.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yes.
So for those that don't knowwhat is respite care and how
does this help alleviate some ofthe pressures that caregivers
face?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
So respite just essentially means providing rest
.
So we are yeah, we'realleviating somebody from their
pulse per se.
We're coming in to do what itis that they do so that they can
get away.
So we're providing rest for aprimary care giver so they can
rest and rejuvenate.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
All right.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What did I miss anything here?
I'm going through.
I got some notes here.
You've given some great advice.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is there any other, any other advice or anything
that we kind of glossed over?
I think that when I I'm notgoing to talk about a family
member now at this point, butwhen I think about career
caregivers people have been inthis industry and they've worked
with a lot of differentindividuals throughout their
career when I think about careercaregivers people who've been
in this industry and they'veworked with a lot of different
individuals throughout theircareer I think that sometimes
they are the most caregiverblind to burnout.
They really are because theyare doing such a phenomenal job
(15:37):
with what they're doing.
They're getting paid for whatthey do.
It's a different dynamic whenit's not your loved one, but
truly they become like anotherloved one for yourself.
I challenge those individuals toreally look within, because at
the end of the day, when they'renot in that person's home,
they're not on the clock per se.
(15:59):
How are they feeling?
How are they Like?
I think people need to do morecheck-ins with themselves and
I've seen some really phenomenalcaregivers get burnt out
because they do not do that.
They don't.
So this is not just for familymembers.
This is for caregivers caringfor anybody a neighbor, a church
(16:20):
friend, just anybody.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I want to do something different before we
wrap up here.
Okay, anyone that's listeningout there that is currently a
caregiver.
I want you to go into thecomments section and, if you've
experienced burnout before,leave some tips that you've
dealt with in your life thathave helped you.
And we'll go through thecomments and we'll look and
(16:45):
we'll pick out the one thatstands out, the one piece of
advice, the thing that we didn'ttalk about, the thing that even
Christy never heard of, and wewant to invite you on the
podcast to talk a little bitabout what you do and tell your
story.
I think that'll be fun.
We'd love to have you and, asalways, of course, if, if you
need help with any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Give Christy a call.
Please do the best.
You're the best.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Christy.
Thank you All right everyone.
Thanks so much for tuning inand we will look forward to
catching you next time on thenext episode of the comfort
keepers Davey podcast.
Everyone stay happy, stayhealthy and stay blessed, take
care thank you for listening tothe comfort keepers davey
(17:31):
podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
For more information, visit comfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
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