March 11, 2025 • 17 mins
Death doesn't have to be a somber affair. Through our conversation about end-of-life care, we discover how moments of joy, celebration, and profound connection can transform this inevitable journey into something beautiful and meaningful.
Balancing emotions while providing compassionate care requires remembering our purpose - supporting not just the client but their entire family. Kristi shares one of her most touching experiences: a family bringing an entire band to play their loved one's favorite music, creating a celebration that brought tears to everyone's eyes. These meaningful moments illustrate how end-of-life care isn't solely about managing decline but about honoring the person's life and creating lasting memories.
Communication emerges as the cornerstone of effective end-of-life support. Having gentle, open conversations early - during peaceful times rather than crises - allows families to understand wishes and prepare emotionally. Look for signs like changes in sleeping patterns, eating habits, or personality, documenting everything to establish patterns and ensure appropriate medical attention. Cultural sensitivity plays a crucial role, as different backgrounds have varying traditions and expectations surrounding death that must be respected and accommodated.
Perhaps most profound is how working with people in their final chapter transforms our own outlook on living. "Life is too short," Kristi reminds us, emphasizing the importance of seizing each day rather than postponing joy. Her parting wisdom? "Focus on their life, not their loss" and "don't grieve in silence" - guidance that helps both the dying and their loved ones navigate this sacred transition with grace and support. Listen now to gain insights that might forever change how you view both life and death.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy Podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Well, hello, hello everyone,and welcome back to another
episode of Comfort Keepers DavyPodcast, here with Christy, as
always, and we have a bit of asomber topic today, but we're
(00:24):
going to do our best to keep ourspirits upbeat and uplifted.
We're talking today aboutend-of-life care.
So I've seen certain thingsonline, I've seen certain videos
about this topic and I have myown conceptions probably
misconceptions of the topic.
But I thought this would be agood place for you, Christy, as
you have experienced thisfirsthand with your clients, to
(00:47):
kind of get your perspective.
So I know this is a deeplyemotional topic, maybe more so
for the actual family of theloved ones, but I think when
you're a caregiver, such asyourself, you develop a strong
relationship with those you'recaring for.
So lots of emotions run high inthis relationship with those
you're caring for.
So lots of emotions run high inthis.
How do you balance providingcompassionate support while
(01:08):
managing your own emotions withsomeone that's kind of
approaching the end stages oflife?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It's definitely a tightrope walking act.
It's not an easy thing, ittruly isn't, but you have to
just continue to remember whywe're there in the first place.
We're there to provide not onlyremember why we're there in the
first place.
We're there to provide not onlycare for the client, but also
for their family, and if we keepour minds in that same frame
(01:35):
mindset, then we're able to keepour wits about us.
But you're right though, we dodevelop a very strong bond with
all of the people that we workwith.
So it's never unemotional andtruly.
If there was a moment wherethere was not emotions, that
would be a concern, right.
So we're there to be emotionalsupport for everybody that is
going through the end of lifestages.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's gotta be heavy.
I have no.
I fortunately I've not hadpretty much no experience with
this.
I've had.
I've had like very fewrelatives have passed and I can
imagine that this can be heavyon you.
Throughout this experience, isthere anything that comes to
mind, specific examples likewhat was maybe one of the most
(02:18):
memorable moments that you'veexperienced while caring for
someone in those final stages?
Does something come to mindthere?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Oh gosh, yes, I think really what it comes down to is
the most memorable are the onesthat are the most heartfelt
surrounding somebody, with justa genuine amount of love and
appreciation in their finalmoments, and that can be
expressed in a lot of differentways.
But I've seen a family bring inan entire band to play a loved
one's favorite genre of musicand that was such a lovely, a
(02:55):
lovely act.
There was not a dry eyeanywhere, anywhere.
It like makes me teary just liketalk about it because it was
such a beautiful thing yeah sothat's probably the most extreme
right, like you're celebratinglife at the end of life and you
want to surround somebody withas much compassion and things
(03:16):
that bring them joy.
And for this individual it wasmusic and they're no longer able
to play um, but that didn'tstop.
That didn't stop from everybodyelse coming to this individual
in their home, which was justsuch a selfless act for
everybody involved.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So, from what I understand, when somebody
reaches end of life and theirbody starts basically shutting
down, when you get like theactive dying stage, From what
I've seen is that while it canlook rather unpleasant for the
person going through thisprocess, the body has mechanisms
in place that kind of subdue itand make it feel comfortable.
(03:56):
Is that an accurate assessmentof it?
Or, like what are some of thebiggest misconceptions that
folks like myself that reallydon't have an understanding or
haven't seen the process?
Can you kind of touch on that?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I feel like that's such a private thing for each
individual right because it is.
It is very different foranybody going through it.
Um, you're right that most ofthe time we generally see
somebody that wants that willsleep more than be awake.
Breathing patterns typicallychange too, but also depending
on that individual's end of lifecare choices, they also may be
(04:32):
receiving medical support tohelp ease them into this
transition so that they are morecomfortable.
So everybody is a little bitdifferent.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I want to go back to the conversations.
We've talked about this manytimes on past episodes, about
how to bring up the topic in thefirst place that your loved one
might need care, and how tohave that conversation with the
party.
These types of conversationswith families who may not be
(05:06):
emotionally prepared.
Like, let's just say, forinstance, you're working with a
client, you've been with themfor a couple of years, whatever
it is, and you start to noticesome signs that they're
approaching the end and maybethe family is not aware of it,
maybe the family's out of state,maybe they talk to them on the
phone.
They just can't see what'sactually going on there.
But you see it and now you haveto call the family you know,
maybe in many cases the childrenand let them know that like
(05:28):
this is getting close to the end.
How do you typically approachthat conversation with with
folks?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So for one, I'll just clarify that that would never
be a last minute conversation.
Our job is to keepcommunication throughout, from
the very, very beginning, oneverything.
So if there's any change incondition or behavior, anything
that's changing, the family isalways going to know.
So just that's how comfortkeepers operates.
(05:55):
I can't speak that foreverybody, but there would never
be a.
Okay, jeremy, I'm caring foryour loved one and here they got
24 hours left.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, no, that's not happening I'm not.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I'm not a medical professional.
I can't tell you medically thatthat is what's going to happen,
but I can tell you that I haveconcerns and I can talk to you
about having these conversationswith your loved one.
It is a very trickyconversation to have you thought
.
Convincing somebody to havecare come into their home and
(06:25):
help them was tricky.
Somebody to have care come intotheir home and help them was
tricky.
Being able to have an openconversation that is genuine,
that's kind, that is not in amanner of panic, is truly
important.
So these conversations need tohappen sooner.
That's like the name of the gamewith everything.
They need to happen sooner thanlater, but they need to happen
during a time of peace and calmand not during a time of panic
(06:50):
and less urgency somethingtraumatic that has happened and
the conversation also needs tobe very gentle.
It can't be, jeremy, what doyou want to happen when you die?
That's not the way to approachthis conversation.
The way to approach theconversation is truly just
saying that what are your wishesas you age?
(07:10):
How can I help you stayindependent in your home?
We, as your family, want tohonor what your wishes are.
Have you put any thought intothat leaving?
it open ended.
That way it can be a gentleconversation that starts and it
can evolve over time.
But just straight coming intoit is in a dark sense or a
(07:31):
panicked sense.
It doesn't usually lead to agood outcome.
I often experience familiesthat are just in denial that
they have to have theconversation, and then, likewise
, plenty of people who aren'tready to have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So having yeah, I can see sort of jump in there.
But I can see like if somebodyis not at the end yet, right,
you're working with them tobring that up.
I can see how somebody could beoffended by like I am not, I'm
not gone yet, why are youtalking about this?
But then on the other side ofthat, I can see how important it
is to slowly plant seeds andhave that that dialogue about it
, so that when you do get tothat point you're already
(08:09):
comfortable about the topic andyou can kind of ease into it
further.
Yeah, so it makes a lot ofsense.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
One of the.
Honestly, one of the easiestways to have the conversation is
they you've heard, or a familyfriend, there's something that's
been experienced.
Use that as an example, likehey, you heard about so-and-so,
what happened here and it justgot me thinking that should
something like that ever happento our family, we want to make
(08:35):
sure that we honor what it isthat you wish Like.
Use an example, a real-lifeexample, to lead into having a
genuine conversation.
And yes, the sooner you havethe conversation, the better.
That way, once the wishes havebeen made, you can always touch
back on it later to say, hey, wehad that conversation about
(08:55):
your care options.
Has anything changed?
Have you considered anythingdifferent?
I just want to make sure thatwe're all on the same page and
that's just a loving approachand how to do this.
And I think it's also equallyimportant to realize that most
of the time, family doesn'talways see eye to eye with the
(09:17):
individual who has the wishes.
And, having to put personalfeelings aside, everybody should
just understand that noteverybody is going to agree with
what end of care wishes maylook like for each individual,
but it isn't about them, it isabout their loved ones.
So, putting differences asideduring a very emotionally
(09:40):
charged season of life.
Anyway, this has to just be arealization.
You have to come together forthe one that you love.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Indeed, you had mentioned earlier about how this
is not something that comes ontypically very quickly.
You know well in advance thatyou're approaching this point.
What are some of the typicalsigns?
If you're speaking out there,maybe to a caregiver that hasn't
gone through this before andthis is their first experience
and they're dealing with caringfor mom and dad, what are some
(10:10):
things that they can look forearly on that might indicate
they are getting closer to theend stages, so they can kind of
make preparations and start thatconversation if they haven't
already?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, so our caregivers, they have daily care
logs, which is really great.
So we have a baseline of howeverything is going in the home.
Every single time we're in thehome, when we start to see
changes with personality, westart seeing sleeping pattern
changes, eating pattern changes.
Those are usually some of thefirst cues and that's really
(10:42):
where we're recommending forprimary care physician visit.
Like, let's just cover all ofthose faces and again, all these
conversations and care logsthat we do to track what it is
that we do in the home and howyour loved one is doing is all
communicated back to the familyor to those who need to know.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, that's too serious.
And then on the other side ofthat, somebody that ignores it
or justifies it in their mindthat, oh, everything's going to
be okay, because they don't wantthe person to pass.
So they think, oh no, I'm surethat's fine, I'm sure it's fine.
And then you ignore it anddon't go get help.
So that's great that you're.
That's a great piece of advice.
Document everything, keep a logand then you'll notice are
there any patterns that aredeveloping or any things out of
(11:50):
the norm?
And you can get it checked out.
Take them to the doctor,absolutely.
What about cultural or personalbeliefs?
How do you typically navigatethat when working with families
from different backgrounds,Because different cultures have
different visions of how thisprocess should go right?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, absolutely, and that's just an open
conversation with that family.
So we want to honor what it isthat they believe and what they
want the end of care to looklike.
What that looks like for us Arewe more hands-on?
Are we less hands-on?
Are we doing more for thefamily as they spend those
precious moments with theirloved one?
What does it mean?
(12:28):
Does it mean quiet?
It mean Does it mean quietsolitude.
Does it mean we're having acelebration?
I mean it really can rangeeverywhere, but we don't want
that to be a surprise.
So, again, communication is key.
With everything and therelationships that we have with
the families that we work with,we will know what our role is.
We'll have that conversation sothat, as we approach and as we
(12:51):
continue forward, we areproviding the best support.
That is uplifting, but alsorespectful for what their values
and belief systems are.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
How has working at end of life care changed your
personal perspective on life anddeath?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Oh well, that's a deep one.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh, we're going deep.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I think that the biggest thing is that life is
too short.
I think that that's the biggestthing and why it's so important
, when you are capable of doingthings, to do them, so that you
aren't at the very end wishingyou had done those things.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
One of the biggest mysteries isn't it is how the
human mind perceives time.
As you age, as you go through,like when I was younger, I used
to look at my parents, adults,and I thought to myself oh, I
got plenty of time.
I'll do all this stuff later.
And now, as I'm getting olderI'm 45, the perspective shifts
(14:02):
so tremendously and you start tothink, wow, this is not going
to be forever.
It feels, when you're younger,that it's going to be forever.
Oh, you've got so much timeleft and we and we tend to just
kick things down the road todeal with it in the future.
And the future is rapidly,rapidly coming.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, it is, it really is, and I think that I
think that seizing seizing theday right and I think that
seizing the day right is areally big deal, and when you
see somebody at the end of theirlife and what they're
reflecting on, they'rereflecting on the things that
they did do and they'rereflecting on those memories,
and I think the more memoriesthat someone can make any day at
(14:44):
any time will just fill thatbank right, which is a really
important thing.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, sometimes it's difficult in the moment to kind
of take that perspective on andget things get and, like you
said, seize the day, and I'mreminded of that every day as I
navigate this beautiful life.
If there could be one piece ofwisdom that you could share with
(15:17):
someone facing the loss of aloved one, what would that be?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Focus on their life.
Focus on their life and nottheir loss, and I think that
that helps people in theirgrieving process the most.
This is not just one piece ofadvice, because it's such a lot,
it's so much, but really theother thing, too is don't don't
grieve in silence and insolitude.
There's a community of people,whether you know them or not.
(15:46):
There are support groups, andit is so important because your
life does not end.
You can keep living for theperson that is no longer there
with you well said.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, we'll leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I like that, unless you have anything else you'd
like to add I feel like myheartstrings have been tugged a
lot this morning and so I feelthat I've given the best wisdom
and experience that we've had.
I've personally had and um andtruly know that this
conversation, theseconversations, are hard to have,
but we are absolutely just aphone call away to talk about
(16:26):
what they can look like.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
All right, very good.
Well, everyone, thank you somuch for tuning in and we will
catch you all next time on thenext episode, the Comfort
Keepers Daily Podcast.
Everyone take care and carpediem.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Carpe diem.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Seize the day.
Live your life to the fullest,because we only got this one
life to live, let's make themost of it.
Stay beautiful out there.
We love you all.
Bye-bye, bye.
Thank you for listening to theComfort Keepers Davie podcast.
(17:04):
For more information, visitcomfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy Podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Well, hello, hello everyone,and welcome back to another
episode of Comfort Keepers DavyPodcast, here with Christy, as
always, and we have a bit of asomber topic today, but we're
(00:24):
going to do our best to keep ourspirits upbeat and uplifted.
We're talking today aboutend-of-life care.
So I've seen certain thingsonline, I've seen certain videos
about this topic and I have myown conceptions probably
misconceptions of the topic.
But I thought this would be agood place for you, Christy, as
you have experienced thisfirsthand with your clients, to
(00:47):
kind of get your perspective.
So I know this is a deeplyemotional topic, maybe more so
for the actual family of theloved ones, but I think when
you're a caregiver, such asyourself, you develop a strong
relationship with those you'recaring for.
So lots of emotions run high inthis relationship with those
you're caring for.
So lots of emotions run high inthis.
How do you balance providingcompassionate support while
(01:08):
managing your own emotions withsomeone that's kind of
approaching the end stages oflife?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It's definitely a tightrope walking act.
It's not an easy thing, ittruly isn't, but you have to
just continue to remember whywe're there in the first place.
We're there to provide not onlyremember why we're there in the
first place.
We're there to provide not onlycare for the client, but also
for their family, and if we keepour minds in that same frame
(01:35):
mindset, then we're able to keepour wits about us.
But you're right though, we dodevelop a very strong bond with
all of the people that we workwith.
So it's never unemotional andtruly.
If there was a moment wherethere was not emotions, that
would be a concern, right.
So we're there to be emotionalsupport for everybody that is
going through the end of lifestages.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's gotta be heavy.
I have no.
I fortunately I've not hadpretty much no experience with
this.
I've had.
I've had like very fewrelatives have passed and I can
imagine that this can be heavyon you.
Throughout this experience, isthere anything that comes to
mind, specific examples likewhat was maybe one of the most
(02:18):
memorable moments that you'veexperienced while caring for
someone in those final stages?
Does something come to mindthere?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Oh gosh, yes, I think really what it comes down to is
the most memorable are the onesthat are the most heartfelt
surrounding somebody, with justa genuine amount of love and
appreciation in their finalmoments, and that can be
expressed in a lot of differentways.
But I've seen a family bring inan entire band to play a loved
one's favorite genre of musicand that was such a lovely, a
(02:55):
lovely act.
There was not a dry eyeanywhere, anywhere.
It like makes me teary just liketalk about it because it was
such a beautiful thing yeah sothat's probably the most extreme
right, like you're celebratinglife at the end of life and you
want to surround somebody withas much compassion and things
(03:16):
that bring them joy.
And for this individual it wasmusic and they're no longer able
to play um, but that didn'tstop.
That didn't stop from everybodyelse coming to this individual
in their home, which was justsuch a selfless act for
everybody involved.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So, from what I understand, when somebody
reaches end of life and theirbody starts basically shutting
down, when you get like theactive dying stage, From what
I've seen is that while it canlook rather unpleasant for the
person going through thisprocess, the body has mechanisms
in place that kind of subdue itand make it feel comfortable.
(03:56):
Is that an accurate assessmentof it?
Or, like what are some of thebiggest misconceptions that
folks like myself that reallydon't have an understanding or
haven't seen the process?
Can you kind of touch on that?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I feel like that's such a private thing for each
individual right because it is.
It is very different foranybody going through it.
Um, you're right that most ofthe time we generally see
somebody that wants that willsleep more than be awake.
Breathing patterns typicallychange too, but also depending
on that individual's end of lifecare choices, they also may be
(04:32):
receiving medical support tohelp ease them into this
transition so that they are morecomfortable.
So everybody is a little bitdifferent.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I want to go back to the conversations.
We've talked about this manytimes on past episodes, about
how to bring up the topic in thefirst place that your loved one
might need care, and how tohave that conversation with the
party.
These types of conversationswith families who may not be
(05:06):
emotionally prepared.
Like, let's just say, forinstance, you're working with a
client, you've been with themfor a couple of years, whatever
it is, and you start to noticesome signs that they're
approaching the end and maybethe family is not aware of it,
maybe the family's out of state,maybe they talk to them on the
phone.
They just can't see what'sactually going on there.
But you see it and now you haveto call the family you know,
maybe in many cases the childrenand let them know that like
(05:28):
this is getting close to the end.
How do you typically approachthat conversation with with
folks?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So for one, I'll just clarify that that would never
be a last minute conversation.
Our job is to keepcommunication throughout, from
the very, very beginning, oneverything.
So if there's any change incondition or behavior, anything
that's changing, the family isalways going to know.
So just that's how comfortkeepers operates.
(05:55):
I can't speak that foreverybody, but there would never
be a.
Okay, jeremy, I'm caring foryour loved one and here they got
24 hours left.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, no, that's not happening I'm not.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I'm not a medical professional.
I can't tell you medically thatthat is what's going to happen,
but I can tell you that I haveconcerns and I can talk to you
about having these conversationswith your loved one.
It is a very trickyconversation to have you thought
.
Convincing somebody to havecare come into their home and
(06:25):
help them was tricky.
Somebody to have care come intotheir home and help them was
tricky.
Being able to have an openconversation that is genuine,
that's kind, that is not in amanner of panic, is truly
important.
So these conversations need tohappen sooner.
That's like the name of the gamewith everything.
They need to happen sooner thanlater, but they need to happen
during a time of peace and calmand not during a time of panic
(06:50):
and less urgency somethingtraumatic that has happened and
the conversation also needs tobe very gentle.
It can't be, jeremy, what doyou want to happen when you die?
That's not the way to approachthis conversation.
The way to approach theconversation is truly just
saying that what are your wishesas you age?
(07:10):
How can I help you stayindependent in your home?
We, as your family, want tohonor what your wishes are.
Have you put any thought intothat leaving?
it open ended.
That way it can be a gentleconversation that starts and it
can evolve over time.
But just straight coming intoit is in a dark sense or a
(07:31):
panicked sense.
It doesn't usually lead to agood outcome.
I often experience familiesthat are just in denial that
they have to have theconversation, and then, likewise
, plenty of people who aren'tready to have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So having yeah, I can see sort of jump in there.
But I can see like if somebodyis not at the end yet, right,
you're working with them tobring that up.
I can see how somebody could beoffended by like I am not, I'm
not gone yet, why are youtalking about this?
But then on the other side ofthat, I can see how important it
is to slowly plant seeds andhave that that dialogue about it
, so that when you do get tothat point you're already
(08:09):
comfortable about the topic andyou can kind of ease into it
further.
Yeah, so it makes a lot ofsense.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
One of the.
Honestly, one of the easiestways to have the conversation is
they you've heard, or a familyfriend, there's something that's
been experienced.
Use that as an example, likehey, you heard about so-and-so,
what happened here and it justgot me thinking that should
something like that ever happento our family, we want to make
(08:35):
sure that we honor what it isthat you wish Like.
Use an example, a real-lifeexample, to lead into having a
genuine conversation.
And yes, the sooner you havethe conversation, the better.
That way, once the wishes havebeen made, you can always touch
back on it later to say, hey, wehad that conversation about
(08:55):
your care options.
Has anything changed?
Have you considered anythingdifferent?
I just want to make sure thatwe're all on the same page and
that's just a loving approachand how to do this.
And I think it's also equallyimportant to realize that most
of the time, family doesn'talways see eye to eye with the
(09:17):
individual who has the wishes.
And, having to put personalfeelings aside, everybody should
just understand that noteverybody is going to agree with
what end of care wishes maylook like for each individual,
but it isn't about them, it isabout their loved ones.
So, putting differences asideduring a very emotionally
(09:40):
charged season of life.
Anyway, this has to just be arealization.
You have to come together forthe one that you love.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Indeed, you had mentioned earlier about how this
is not something that comes ontypically very quickly.
You know well in advance thatyou're approaching this point.
What are some of the typicalsigns?
If you're speaking out there,maybe to a caregiver that hasn't
gone through this before andthis is their first experience
and they're dealing with caringfor mom and dad, what are some
(10:10):
things that they can look forearly on that might indicate
they are getting closer to theend stages, so they can kind of
make preparations and start thatconversation if they haven't
already?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, so our caregivers, they have daily care
logs, which is really great.
So we have a baseline of howeverything is going in the home.
Every single time we're in thehome, when we start to see
changes with personality, westart seeing sleeping pattern
changes, eating pattern changes.
Those are usually some of thefirst cues and that's really
(10:42):
where we're recommending forprimary care physician visit.
Like, let's just cover all ofthose faces and again, all these
conversations and care logsthat we do to track what it is
that we do in the home and howyour loved one is doing is all
communicated back to the familyor to those who need to know.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, that's too serious.
And then on the other side ofthat, somebody that ignores it
or justifies it in their mindthat, oh, everything's going to
be okay, because they don't wantthe person to pass.
So they think, oh no, I'm surethat's fine, I'm sure it's fine.
And then you ignore it anddon't go get help.
So that's great that you're.
That's a great piece of advice.
Document everything, keep a logand then you'll notice are
there any patterns that aredeveloping or any things out of
(11:50):
the norm?
And you can get it checked out.
Take them to the doctor,absolutely.
What about cultural or personalbeliefs?
How do you typically navigatethat when working with families
from different backgrounds,Because different cultures have
different visions of how thisprocess should go right?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, absolutely, and that's just an open
conversation with that family.
So we want to honor what it isthat they believe and what they
want the end of care to looklike.
What that looks like for us Arewe more hands-on?
Are we less hands-on?
Are we doing more for thefamily as they spend those
precious moments with theirloved one?
What does it mean?
(12:28):
Does it mean quiet?
It mean Does it mean quietsolitude.
Does it mean we're having acelebration?
I mean it really can rangeeverywhere, but we don't want
that to be a surprise.
So, again, communication is key.
With everything and therelationships that we have with
the families that we work with,we will know what our role is.
We'll have that conversation sothat, as we approach and as we
(12:51):
continue forward, we areproviding the best support.
That is uplifting, but alsorespectful for what their values
and belief systems are.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
How has working at end of life care changed your
personal perspective on life anddeath?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Oh well, that's a deep one.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh, we're going deep.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I think that the biggest thing is that life is
too short.
I think that that's the biggestthing and why it's so important
, when you are capable of doingthings, to do them, so that you
aren't at the very end wishingyou had done those things.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
One of the biggest mysteries isn't it is how the
human mind perceives time.
As you age, as you go through,like when I was younger, I used
to look at my parents, adults,and I thought to myself oh, I
got plenty of time.
I'll do all this stuff later.
And now, as I'm getting olderI'm 45, the perspective shifts
(14:02):
so tremendously and you start tothink, wow, this is not going
to be forever.
It feels, when you're younger,that it's going to be forever.
Oh, you've got so much timeleft and we and we tend to just
kick things down the road todeal with it in the future.
And the future is rapidly,rapidly coming.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, it is, it really is, and I think that I
think that seizing seizing theday right and I think that
seizing the day right is areally big deal, and when you
see somebody at the end of theirlife and what they're
reflecting on, they'rereflecting on the things that
they did do and they'rereflecting on those memories,
and I think the more memoriesthat someone can make any day at
(14:44):
any time will just fill thatbank right, which is a really
important thing.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, sometimes it's difficult in the moment to kind
of take that perspective on andget things get and, like you
said, seize the day, and I'mreminded of that every day as I
navigate this beautiful life.
If there could be one piece ofwisdom that you could share with
(15:17):
someone facing the loss of aloved one, what would that be?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Focus on their life.
Focus on their life and nottheir loss, and I think that
that helps people in theirgrieving process the most.
This is not just one piece ofadvice, because it's such a lot,
it's so much, but really theother thing, too is don't don't
grieve in silence and insolitude.
There's a community of people,whether you know them or not.
(15:46):
There are support groups, andit is so important because your
life does not end.
You can keep living for theperson that is no longer there
with you well said.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, we'll leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I like that, unless you have anything else you'd
like to add I feel like myheartstrings have been tugged a
lot this morning and so I feelthat I've given the best wisdom
and experience that we've had.
I've personally had and um andtruly know that this
conversation, theseconversations, are hard to have,
but we are absolutely just aphone call away to talk about
(16:26):
what they can look like.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
All right, very good.
Well, everyone, thank you somuch for tuning in and we will
catch you all next time on thenext episode, the Comfort
Keepers Daily Podcast.
Everyone take care and carpediem.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Carpe diem.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Seize the day.
Live your life to the fullest,because we only got this one
life to live, let's make themost of it.
Stay beautiful out there.
We love you all.
Bye-bye, bye.
Thank you for listening to theComfort Keepers Davie podcast.
(17:04):
For more information, visitcomfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
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