April 23, 2025 • 21 mins
The decision to seek help for a loved one—or ourselves—often comes with a complex mix of emotions. Relief, guilt, uncertainty, and even reluctance swirl together, making that first call one of the hardest steps in the caregiving journey.
Kemar Brown from Comfort Keepers pulls back the curtain on what happens after that call, revealing insights from six months of helping families navigate these challenging waters. His perspective challenges widespread misconceptions about in-home care, particularly the belief that services are only for elderly individuals near the end of life. The reality? Comfort Keepers serves clients as young as 26, providing vital support during recovery from injuries, managing cognitive challenges, or simply offering companionship when life gets overwhelming.
Perhaps most illuminating is Kemar's discussion of the subtle signs that someone might need assistance—expired food in the refrigerator, declining personal hygiene, an unkempt living environment. These clues often go unnoticed during phone conversations but become apparent during in-person visits. For family members concerned about a loved one, learning to spot these indicators can make all the difference.
The podcast also addresses the unique resistance men often show toward accepting help, with Kamar sharing his approach to overcoming this barrier through conversation, empathy, and reframing "caregiving" as "personal assistance." His success story of helping a 50-year-old workplace injury victim regain independence demonstrates the transformative power of compassionate care at any age.
Whether you're considering support for a parent, partner, or yourself, this episode offers valuable guidance on starting that difficult conversation and finding the right fit for your unique situation. Remember, seeking help isn't surrendering independence—it's often the first step toward reclaiming it.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davie podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
If you've ever had to make that call for help, be it
for a parent, a spouse or maybeeven for yourself, well you know
it comes with questions,emotions and often a lot of
uncertainty.
It's not easy.
So today we're sitting downwith Kamar Brown, who is a team
member at Comfort Keepers, andhe's someone who has firsthand
(00:36):
experience dealing with familieswho are really going through it
.
So we're going to kind of get alook behind the scenes with how
this process works.
Kamar.
Welcome to the show, my man,thank you.
Thank you for having me.
It's a pleasure, of course, ofcourse.
So let's start off.
Tell everybody a little bit ofhow long you've been with
Comfort Keepers.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
So I've been with Comfort Keepers a couple months
now, six or seven months now.
It's been an amazing ride.
It's pretty short, but it'sbeen absolutely amazing so far
Just being able to go into thehomes of these prospects and
being able to help them.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's been amazing so when you first speak with a
family member?
What are the most commonconcerns or struggles that
you've been hearing?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, great question.
It varies.
A lot of family members justwant to know that their loved
one is safe, not lonely, beingtaken care of properly, and it's
(01:47):
very hard for them to actuallygive up the responsibility of
providing care.
It's something that they oftenstruggle with, but essentially
they just want to know thattheir family member is safe and
being taken care of properly.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, I can imagine it could be difficult giving up
control, especially for a lovedone that you've cared for in
many cases, for many years, ifnot, in some cases, decades and
now you have somebody cominginto the home who's a stranger
right?
You don't know them and youhave to put your trust in them.
So how do adult childrentypically feel when they make
(02:18):
that first call?
Is it more, is it relief, is itguilt, confusion, a little
mixture of all?
What are you kind ofencountering?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, you hit the nail right on the head.
It's actually a mixture ofeverything you mentioned.
It's relief, like you know.
They're finally happy thatthey're speaking to somebody who
actually gets it.
But in the mix of that is alittle bit of guilt that, hey,
you know, I'm giving up controlbecause these parents that
(02:46):
they're calling about were theircaregivers when they were
younger and they feel thatthey're obligated to do the same
for them when they're in thisposition.
So it's a mixture of guilt,feeling of relief and just
everything combined.
But we often are reminding themthat, hey, I know what it is.
(03:07):
Let's work together to ensurethat your mom or dad is well
taken care of the full spectrumof emotions experience.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So are you encountering I mean, you've been
doing this, you know, like yousaid, six, eight months now?
Are you seeing any commonthemes that come up?
Misconceptions with folks whenyou speak to them about what
role Comfort Keepers actuallyplays in these situations.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, I don't know if it's our name, but we get
inquiries or calls, sometimesthinking that we're not even a
caregiving company, for want ofa better word.
Um, you know, a few personsmight think we, we're we selling
, we're selling mattresses.
But you know, for those whoknow that we're in the
caregiving business, uh,oftentimes think that we're only
(03:54):
there when it's close to end oflife or mom or dad is extremely
sick, uh, but we're oftentasked with just informing them
or educating them that, hey, youdon't need to wait until mom or
dad is like on their deathbed.
If they just need a littleassistance, that's where we come
in.
We'll meet you or dad, whereyou're essentially at.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, and it's that option right?
I think a lot of people feelwhen they get to the point where
they can't care for somebody,the only option is assisted
living.
Every time I talk to people Iinteract with and tell them
about what you do at ComfortKeeper is that there's another
option.
You don't have to ship mom anddad off to assisted living.
You could bring somebody intotheir home and they could spend
(04:41):
the remaining years in thecomfort of their home, not
having to deal with the traumaof leaving that environment.
Very, very powerful stuff.
Once you obviously, when peoplecall you on the phone, they're
probably their guard is up right.
They're not being completelycandid about all aspects of
what's going on.
Once you actually meet thefamily in person, what new
(05:03):
things tend to surface thatweren't really brought up in the
initial conversation orconsultation that you had over
the phone?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, great question.
Again, it's a lot of things.
It could be subtle memorylapses You're noticing cognitive
issues, mobility issues Againpiggybacking off what you're
saying.
A lot of prospects that call inor adult children.
For parents that call in,they're very guarded and not
(05:31):
giving you a lot of info,downplaying their mom's or dad's
situation.
But seeing them in person, wepick up a lot, Just their living
surroundings, how they'removing about, how freely or not
freely they're moving, mobilityissues, cognitive issues, their
demeanor, their personality,that we wouldn't be able to pick
(05:52):
up over the phone.
These are things that we pickup when we're in person and
speaking to them.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
So I can imagine that when people come in, in many
cases they might underestimatethe severity of the situation.
What are some of the subtlesigns that you kind of pick up
on that a person may need morehelp than their family may have
initially realized?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Yeah, it's so many.
It could be them forgetting toshower, not changing their
clothes.
These are things that theywould have been doing when you
know they weren't in thesituation.
It could be expired food in therefrigerator.
It could be an unkept place.
(06:35):
Their surrounding is not askept or tidy as it once was.
Did I say memory?
Yeah, these are a few thingsthat come to mind that we pick
up when we're in person to tellus that mom or dad needs a
little bit of assistance.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
What advice would you give to someone who's starting
to notice that their parent or aloved one needs help, but
doesn't know how to bring it upright?
Because people are resistant tocriticism and especially if
you're talking about likedeclining functionality as you
get older, and especially oldergenerations tend to be more
(07:19):
stubborn, like, oh, I can do itmyself.
And then if you bring up theconversation, you get that
immediate trigger like, oh no, Idon't need help with that.
So what's the best way toinitiate that conversation as a
you know, to a loved one?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Yeah, it varies from person to person.
Nobody knows their mom or dadlike an adult child would.
So if you know you have adefensive, a parent who is used
to doing everything on their own, bring up this conversation
subtly will be the best thing todo, but the most important
(07:56):
thing to do is actually bring itup.
You might clash with mom or dad, but essentially what you're
trying to do is get them help orstart care and ensure that,
especially with a defensiveparent, ensure that when you are
offering help, it's not done ina way that they feel like
they're being a burden, becausethat will set them so far back
(08:21):
than you would want.
Just do it with love, do itwith compassion, do it with
empathy.
Ensure they feel that you aredoing it out of love and you're
enjoying helping them.
Once they feel like they'rebeing a burden, it's not going
to turn out the way you want itto.
But again, the most importantthing is to get this
(08:41):
conversation started and do itwith love, empathy, compassion
and yeah, that's it.
That's what.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I would say passion and yeah, that's it.
That's that's what I would say.
Yeah, I've talked to Christyabout this before, where it's
almost like when, when ComfortKeepers is introduced to the
family or to the people thatneed help, it's almost done in a
way where they're presented askind of a friend of the family,
if you will.
You know it's, it's a veryagain, it's a very subtle thing
(09:10):
and very delicate conversation.
All goes back to communication.
But, but you're right, Bringingit up is the first step.
It need not be avoided forconcern on how the other
person's going to take it.
Yeah, so we talked also on thelast episode about how this is
(09:31):
not only for seniors, right,Comfort keepers.
Can you share some examples offolks that you've helped that
aren't seniors?
Maybe someone recovering fromsurgery or illness.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
We are just focused on helping seniors.
Are seniors a large part of ourclientele?
Definitely yes.
As we know, we're in theretiring state of Florida.
This is where all the seniorsare, but we've helped persons as
(10:05):
young as 26, 27, suffering frombehavioral issues, cognitive
issues, in their 30s 40s, justin need of companion care,
somebody to help them, you know,clean their surroundings a
little bit, take them to theirdoctor's appointments and again,
we'll meet the person.
As long as they're over the ageof 18, we can legally, you know
, assist them and, yeah, so youdon't have to be a senior.
(10:29):
Again, we've helped26-year-olds, 30-year-olds,
40-year-olds.
We now have somebody who is inhis 50s.
He suffered he just turned 50,actually he suffered an injury
on his job.
So now he's off for a couple ofyears trying to recover from
his injuries and we're coming inand helping him with his daily
(10:50):
activities and taking him to hisdoctor's appointments, and he's
loving it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why do you think it's so important to normalize care
for people at any stage of life,not just the elderly?
Because I think that again andI had this misconception as well
until I spoke to Christy aboutit I thought that what you did
was mostly for elderly people.
I didn't realize there wasother people that could
necessarily benefit.
But we started having thatconversation.
(11:18):
I've been noticing this is animportant topic.
Why do you think it's importantto normalize this for people at
any stage?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, it's so important because, unfortunately
, as you know, the human racewe're becoming, we're living
much longer, but we are becomingsickly at younger ages.
We are seeing persons with, youknow, cognitive issues at much
younger ages, and just at muchyounger ages, and just it's
(11:54):
important because we don't wantanybody that thinks they're too
young to ask for help, becausewhat's going to happen is you're
going, your situation is goingto deteriorate and you
recovering from whatever it isthat you're going through.
If you had gotten help, thatwon't be the case.
So we want to change or do awaywith that misconception, to
allow these persons that are atthese ages that they think
(12:15):
they're not supposed to beasking for help, for them to be
able to freely come and ask forhelp and not feel not having
this feeling of shame or youknow anything of the sort.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
So yeah, Obviously each case is different, but I'm
curious.
This just came to my mind.
Do you notice?
I would think you do moreresistance to help from men as
opposed to women, because I'mthinking back to myself when I'm
out and about, let's just sayI'm if I'm lost, right, it's
(12:50):
perfect example.
As a guy, you're lost.
We never like asking fordirections, but women are always
quick to jump.
You're asking for directions.
Do you see that same parallelwhen you meet with folks to help
them?
Like women are way more open toreceive the help and then are
more resistant, definitelydefinitely we are as men, we
think first of all we don't wedon't like going to the doctors,
we don't.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
We think we are superman all the time, no matter
what age we're at.
Uh and uh.
Yeah, we, we do see it, andoftentimes these men wait until
their situation is.
They have extremely, they havedeclined extremely, and there's
no other thing for them to dobut ask for help.
(13:30):
No, but had they done that alittle bit earlier, they would
have been in a better situation.
But yes, we definitely see, andwhat I try to do in these
situations is just to remindthem that, hey, we're not here
to take your independence away.
What we're here to do is assistyou.
Let let us pick up where youare unable to do at this current
moment and if we are able tohelp you back to better health.
(13:54):
There's no contract with us.
We are here to help you asneeded, and if you no longer
need us, then that's where we'llleave you.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
How do you respond when someone says I'm not sure
if this has happened to you yet,but if you come into a home and
somebody gives you resistance,right, they say I don't need a
caregiver, I'm not old enoughfor a caregiver, I don't want
help.
What do you say to that?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I'm like, hey, I totally get it.
I totally get it.
I just spark a conversationwith them.
I oftentimes just shift theconversation to another topic.
Talk about something they love.
Just dig a little bit deeper.
Look at my surroundings.
Are they a sports fan?
Just talk about things theylove.
(14:44):
I might see that they golfed andask them when is the last time
you played golf?
Or just bring up a topic that Iknow they love.
Get to know them a little bitbetter.
Just bring up a topic that Iknow they love.
Get to know them a little bitbetter.
And as I'm getting deeper withthem, then I jump back on the
topic and remind them that we'renot here to.
Don't look at us as a caregiver.
Look at us as it depends on whoI'm in front of.
(15:06):
Look at us as your own personalassistant or an extra set of
hands in home.
Let's help you keep yoursurroundings a little bit clean
or wherever I see or feel thatthey need help.
But that's where I focus on.
But I never try to force itdown their throats or force it.
I just, you know, agree withthem and just get to know them a
(15:30):
little bit better and then seewhere we can meet in the middle.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Is there a moment that stuck with you thus far,
something where you came in andyou saw a real transformation
for a family once the care began?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Yes for sure, a few things have, or moments have,
stuck in my mind.
One, for I made mention of thisClanovorz, who he's pretty young
, he's 50 years old and hesuffered an injury at his job
and when the first time I wentto see him he was so badly bent
(16:13):
over.
And we don't do physical therapyclearly we're here to help them
with daily living activities,but the fact that we came in and
we took a lot of the burden offhim from, you know, doing the
cleaning, the chores, taking himto his doctor's appointments,
helping him cooking, just beingthere as a companion for him.
(16:33):
He lived with his wife and hisadult children, but everybody
was so busy and unable to tendto him and I feel like he was
becoming a burden to thembecause of how demanding he was.
But he loved our caregiver andshe essentially came in and just
transformed him.
Like every time I speak to him,he's smiling, he's talking more
(16:57):
, he's moving around much betterand he's on the journey of
complete recovery.
And you know we're so happythat we could assist, or we can
assist, or we are assisting in,in getting him back there yeah,
that's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
So what would you say to someone?
Maybe there's someone that'swatching this right now and
they're on the fence right,they've been.
They've had that little voicein the back of their mind
telling them that they theyshould probably get help, but
they've been very resistant tothe idea.
And now they're watching thisand they're thinking like, oh,
should I call, should I not?
No, I can do it.
What would you say?
What would you want them tohear right now, in this moment?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Yeah, just pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone, it's just acall and you call us and we're
just having a conversation.
It's about trying to see what'sgoing on with mom, what's going
on with you, what's going onwith dad.
(17:59):
Let's see how we can assist you.
And if, for whatever reason,we're unable to assist you from
comfort keepers, what we try todo our best is to direct you in
the, you know, send you in theright direction to get
assistance.
We get calls often for assistedlivings and when I peer a
little bit deeper to see,staying at home and us providing
a caregiver for mom or dad isan option.
(18:20):
If they say no, then we steerthem in the right direction if
it is an assisted living they'relooking for.
But the most important thing isjust making that call.
Let's have a conversation andlet's see what can come of it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It all starts with an initial conversation and
communication and you never knowand maybe it turns out you
don't need help after all.
Right, but just having thatconversation just can change the
frame and change yourperspective and can get some new
information and get you to abrighter place.
So, kimar, is there anythingelse that you'd like to touch
(18:56):
upon before we wrap this up?
Anything else Did I missanything, I'm sure there's a lot
.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah, we've spoken about a lot and you know, we all
are getting old, we all areaging.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Hey, speak for yourself.
I know sorry, I'm young forever.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You know, but apart from yourself, I don't know of
anybody that's not aging.
We all will get to our 60s, 70s, 80s and, who knows, we might
be in need of care.
It's a common thing.
We all need some help, someassistance from time to time.
(19:39):
We might not be old, we mightjust have suffered an injury on
the job or some life-changingincident happened that we need
some, some assistance.
And that's where comfortkeepers comes in.
We're just here to make yourlife a little bit easier and,
again, if we are unable to dothat personally or from within
(19:59):
our company, we will help steeryou in the right direction.
So, again, as you said,piggybacking off what you said,
it starts with an initial call.
Let's get on the phone, let'smeet each other, let's see if
we're the right fit and, uh,hopefully we'll be able to help
you yeah, life can bechallenging.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
It is everybody can use a hand sometimes.
Yeah, it's that simple gooddeal, all right.
Well, so let's, let's leave itat that.
Everyone, if you enjoy thiscontent, don't forget to like
and subscribe.
You know the drill, all thatfun stuff.
If you yourself has had apersonal experience in anything
that we discussed today, let letus know about it in the
comments If you think that wemissed anything.
All your feedback is alwayswelcome.
(20:39):
We'd love to hear what you haveto say and we appreciate you
joining us on this journey, andwe wish you all a happy and
healthy day, and we'll catch younext time on the next episode
of the Comfort Keepers DailyPodcast.
Everyone, take care, stayblessed and have a wonderful day
.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers
Davey podcast.
For more information, visitcomfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davie podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGroulet.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
If you've ever had to make that call for help, be it
for a parent, a spouse or maybeeven for yourself, well you know
it comes with questions,emotions and often a lot of
uncertainty.
It's not easy.
So today we're sitting downwith Kamar Brown, who is a team
member at Comfort Keepers, andhe's someone who has firsthand
(00:36):
experience dealing with familieswho are really going through it
.
So we're going to kind of get alook behind the scenes with how
this process works.
Kamar.
Welcome to the show, my man,thank you.
Thank you for having me.
It's a pleasure, of course, ofcourse.
So let's start off.
Tell everybody a little bit ofhow long you've been with
Comfort Keepers.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
So I've been with Comfort Keepers a couple months
now, six or seven months now.
It's been an amazing ride.
It's pretty short, but it'sbeen absolutely amazing so far
Just being able to go into thehomes of these prospects and
being able to help them.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's been amazing so when you first speak with a
family member?
What are the most commonconcerns or struggles that
you've been hearing?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, great question.
It varies.
A lot of family members justwant to know that their loved
one is safe, not lonely, beingtaken care of properly, and it's
(01:47):
very hard for them to actuallygive up the responsibility of
providing care.
It's something that they oftenstruggle with, but essentially
they just want to know thattheir family member is safe and
being taken care of properly.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, I can imagine it could be difficult giving up
control, especially for a lovedone that you've cared for in
many cases, for many years, ifnot, in some cases, decades and
now you have somebody cominginto the home who's a stranger
right?
You don't know them and youhave to put your trust in them.
So how do adult childrentypically feel when they make
(02:18):
that first call?
Is it more, is it relief, is itguilt, confusion, a little
mixture of all?
What are you kind ofencountering?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, you hit the nail right on the head.
It's actually a mixture ofeverything you mentioned.
It's relief, like you know.
They're finally happy thatthey're speaking to somebody who
actually gets it.
But in the mix of that is alittle bit of guilt that, hey,
you know, I'm giving up controlbecause these parents that
(02:46):
they're calling about were theircaregivers when they were
younger and they feel thatthey're obligated to do the same
for them when they're in thisposition.
So it's a mixture of guilt,feeling of relief and just
everything combined.
But we often are reminding themthat, hey, I know what it is.
(03:07):
Let's work together to ensurethat your mom or dad is well
taken care of the full spectrumof emotions experience.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So are you encountering I mean, you've been
doing this, you know, like yousaid, six, eight months now?
Are you seeing any commonthemes that come up?
Misconceptions with folks whenyou speak to them about what
role Comfort Keepers actuallyplays in these situations.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, I don't know if it's our name, but we get
inquiries or calls, sometimesthinking that we're not even a
caregiving company, for want ofa better word.
Um, you know, a few personsmight think we, we're we selling
, we're selling mattresses.
But you know, for those whoknow that we're in the
caregiving business, uh,oftentimes think that we're only
(03:54):
there when it's close to end oflife or mom or dad is extremely
sick, uh, but we're oftentasked with just informing them
or educating them that, hey, youdon't need to wait until mom or
dad is like on their deathbed.
If they just need a littleassistance, that's where we come
in.
We'll meet you or dad, whereyou're essentially at.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, and it's that option right?
I think a lot of people feelwhen they get to the point where
they can't care for somebody,the only option is assisted
living.
Every time I talk to people Iinteract with and tell them
about what you do at ComfortKeeper is that there's another
option.
You don't have to ship mom anddad off to assisted living.
You could bring somebody intotheir home and they could spend
(04:41):
the remaining years in thecomfort of their home, not
having to deal with the traumaof leaving that environment.
Very, very powerful stuff.
Once you obviously, when peoplecall you on the phone, they're
probably their guard is up right.
They're not being completelycandid about all aspects of
what's going on.
Once you actually meet thefamily in person, what new
(05:03):
things tend to surface thatweren't really brought up in the
initial conversation orconsultation that you had over
the phone?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, great question.
Again, it's a lot of things.
It could be subtle memorylapses You're noticing cognitive
issues, mobility issues Againpiggybacking off what you're
saying.
A lot of prospects that call inor adult children.
For parents that call in,they're very guarded and not
(05:31):
giving you a lot of info,downplaying their mom's or dad's
situation.
But seeing them in person, wepick up a lot, Just their living
surroundings, how they'removing about, how freely or not
freely they're moving, mobilityissues, cognitive issues, their
demeanor, their personality,that we wouldn't be able to pick
(05:52):
up over the phone.
These are things that we pickup when we're in person and
speaking to them.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
So I can imagine that when people come in, in many
cases they might underestimatethe severity of the situation.
What are some of the subtlesigns that you kind of pick up
on that a person may need morehelp than their family may have
initially realized?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Yeah, it's so many.
It could be them forgetting toshower, not changing their
clothes.
These are things that theywould have been doing when you
know they weren't in thesituation.
It could be expired food in therefrigerator.
It could be an unkept place.
(06:35):
Their surrounding is not askept or tidy as it once was.
Did I say memory?
Yeah, these are a few thingsthat come to mind that we pick
up when we're in person to tellus that mom or dad needs a
little bit of assistance.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
What advice would you give to someone who's starting
to notice that their parent or aloved one needs help, but
doesn't know how to bring it upright?
Because people are resistant tocriticism and especially if
you're talking about likedeclining functionality as you
get older, and especially oldergenerations tend to be more
(07:19):
stubborn, like, oh, I can do itmyself.
And then if you bring up theconversation, you get that
immediate trigger like, oh no, Idon't need help with that.
So what's the best way toinitiate that conversation as a
you know, to a loved one?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Yeah, it varies from person to person.
Nobody knows their mom or dadlike an adult child would.
So if you know you have adefensive, a parent who is used
to doing everything on their own, bring up this conversation
subtly will be the best thing todo, but the most important
(07:56):
thing to do is actually bring itup.
You might clash with mom or dad, but essentially what you're
trying to do is get them help orstart care and ensure that,
especially with a defensiveparent, ensure that when you are
offering help, it's not done ina way that they feel like
they're being a burden, becausethat will set them so far back
(08:21):
than you would want.
Just do it with love, do itwith compassion, do it with
empathy.
Ensure they feel that you aredoing it out of love and you're
enjoying helping them.
Once they feel like they'rebeing a burden, it's not going
to turn out the way you want itto.
But again, the most importantthing is to get this
(08:41):
conversation started and do itwith love, empathy, compassion
and yeah, that's it.
That's what.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I would say passion and yeah, that's it.
That's that's what I would say.
Yeah, I've talked to Christyabout this before, where it's
almost like when, when ComfortKeepers is introduced to the
family or to the people thatneed help, it's almost done in a
way where they're presented askind of a friend of the family,
if you will.
You know it's, it's a veryagain, it's a very subtle thing
(09:10):
and very delicate conversation.
All goes back to communication.
But, but you're right, Bringingit up is the first step.
It need not be avoided forconcern on how the other
person's going to take it.
Yeah, so we talked also on thelast episode about how this is
(09:31):
not only for seniors, right,Comfort keepers.
Can you share some examples offolks that you've helped that
aren't seniors?
Maybe someone recovering fromsurgery or illness.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
We are just focused on helping seniors.
Are seniors a large part of ourclientele?
Definitely yes.
As we know, we're in theretiring state of Florida.
This is where all the seniorsare, but we've helped persons as
(10:05):
young as 26, 27, suffering frombehavioral issues, cognitive
issues, in their 30s 40s, justin need of companion care,
somebody to help them, you know,clean their surroundings a
little bit, take them to theirdoctor's appointments and again,
we'll meet the person.
As long as they're over the ageof 18, we can legally, you know
, assist them and, yeah, so youdon't have to be a senior.
(10:29):
Again, we've helped26-year-olds, 30-year-olds,
40-year-olds.
We now have somebody who is inhis 50s.
He suffered he just turned 50,actually he suffered an injury
on his job.
So now he's off for a couple ofyears trying to recover from
his injuries and we're coming inand helping him with his daily
(10:50):
activities and taking him to hisdoctor's appointments, and he's
loving it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why do you think it's so important to normalize care
for people at any stage of life,not just the elderly?
Because I think that again andI had this misconception as well
until I spoke to Christy aboutit I thought that what you did
was mostly for elderly people.
I didn't realize there wasother people that could
necessarily benefit.
But we started having thatconversation.
(11:18):
I've been noticing this is animportant topic.
Why do you think it's importantto normalize this for people at
any stage?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, it's so important because, unfortunately
, as you know, the human racewe're becoming, we're living
much longer, but we are becomingsickly at younger ages.
We are seeing persons with, youknow, cognitive issues at much
younger ages, and just at muchyounger ages, and just it's
(11:54):
important because we don't wantanybody that thinks they're too
young to ask for help, becausewhat's going to happen is you're
going, your situation is goingto deteriorate and you
recovering from whatever it isthat you're going through.
If you had gotten help, thatwon't be the case.
So we want to change or do awaywith that misconception, to
allow these persons that are atthese ages that they think
(12:15):
they're not supposed to beasking for help, for them to be
able to freely come and ask forhelp and not feel not having
this feeling of shame or youknow anything of the sort.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
So yeah, Obviously each case is different, but I'm
curious.
This just came to my mind.
Do you notice?
I would think you do moreresistance to help from men as
opposed to women, because I'mthinking back to myself when I'm
out and about, let's just sayI'm if I'm lost, right, it's
(12:50):
perfect example.
As a guy, you're lost.
We never like asking fordirections, but women are always
quick to jump.
You're asking for directions.
Do you see that same parallelwhen you meet with folks to help
them?
Like women are way more open toreceive the help and then are
more resistant, definitelydefinitely we are as men, we
think first of all we don't wedon't like going to the doctors,
we don't.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
We think we are superman all the time, no matter
what age we're at.
Uh and uh.
Yeah, we, we do see it, andoftentimes these men wait until
their situation is.
They have extremely, they havedeclined extremely, and there's
no other thing for them to dobut ask for help.
(13:30):
No, but had they done that alittle bit earlier, they would
have been in a better situation.
But yes, we definitely see, andwhat I try to do in these
situations is just to remindthem that, hey, we're not here
to take your independence away.
What we're here to do is assistyou.
Let let us pick up where youare unable to do at this current
moment and if we are able tohelp you back to better health.
(13:54):
There's no contract with us.
We are here to help you asneeded, and if you no longer
need us, then that's where we'llleave you.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
How do you respond when someone says I'm not sure
if this has happened to you yet,but if you come into a home and
somebody gives you resistance,right, they say I don't need a
caregiver, I'm not old enoughfor a caregiver, I don't want
help.
What do you say to that?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I'm like, hey, I totally get it.
I totally get it.
I just spark a conversationwith them.
I oftentimes just shift theconversation to another topic.
Talk about something they love.
Just dig a little bit deeper.
Look at my surroundings.
Are they a sports fan?
Just talk about things theylove.
(14:44):
I might see that they golfed andask them when is the last time
you played golf?
Or just bring up a topic that Iknow they love.
Get to know them a little bitbetter.
Just bring up a topic that Iknow they love.
Get to know them a little bitbetter.
And as I'm getting deeper withthem, then I jump back on the
topic and remind them that we'renot here to.
Don't look at us as a caregiver.
Look at us as it depends on whoI'm in front of.
(15:06):
Look at us as your own personalassistant or an extra set of
hands in home.
Let's help you keep yoursurroundings a little bit clean
or wherever I see or feel thatthey need help.
But that's where I focus on.
But I never try to force itdown their throats or force it.
I just, you know, agree withthem and just get to know them a
(15:30):
little bit better and then seewhere we can meet in the middle.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Is there a moment that stuck with you thus far,
something where you came in andyou saw a real transformation
for a family once the care began?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Yes for sure, a few things have, or moments have,
stuck in my mind.
One, for I made mention of thisClanovorz, who he's pretty young
, he's 50 years old and hesuffered an injury at his job
and when the first time I wentto see him he was so badly bent
(16:13):
over.
And we don't do physical therapyclearly we're here to help them
with daily living activities,but the fact that we came in and
we took a lot of the burden offhim from, you know, doing the
cleaning, the chores, taking himto his doctor's appointments,
helping him cooking, just beingthere as a companion for him.
(16:33):
He lived with his wife and hisadult children, but everybody
was so busy and unable to tendto him and I feel like he was
becoming a burden to thembecause of how demanding he was.
But he loved our caregiver andshe essentially came in and just
transformed him.
Like every time I speak to him,he's smiling, he's talking more
(16:57):
, he's moving around much betterand he's on the journey of
complete recovery.
And you know we're so happythat we could assist, or we can
assist, or we are assisting in,in getting him back there yeah,
that's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
So what would you say to someone?
Maybe there's someone that'swatching this right now and
they're on the fence right,they've been.
They've had that little voicein the back of their mind
telling them that they theyshould probably get help, but
they've been very resistant tothe idea.
And now they're watching thisand they're thinking like, oh,
should I call, should I not?
No, I can do it.
What would you say?
What would you want them tohear right now, in this moment?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Yeah, just pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone, it's just acall and you call us and we're
just having a conversation.
It's about trying to see what'sgoing on with mom, what's going
on with you, what's going onwith dad.
(17:59):
Let's see how we can assist you.
And if, for whatever reason,we're unable to assist you from
comfort keepers, what we try todo our best is to direct you in
the, you know, send you in theright direction to get
assistance.
We get calls often for assistedlivings and when I peer a
little bit deeper to see,staying at home and us providing
a caregiver for mom or dad isan option.
(18:20):
If they say no, then we steerthem in the right direction if
it is an assisted living they'relooking for.
But the most important thing isjust making that call.
Let's have a conversation andlet's see what can come of it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It all starts with an initial conversation and
communication and you never knowand maybe it turns out you
don't need help after all.
Right, but just having thatconversation just can change the
frame and change yourperspective and can get some new
information and get you to abrighter place.
So, kimar, is there anythingelse that you'd like to touch
(18:56):
upon before we wrap this up?
Anything else Did I missanything, I'm sure there's a lot
.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah, we've spoken about a lot and you know, we all
are getting old, we all areaging.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Hey, speak for yourself.
I know sorry, I'm young forever.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You know, but apart from yourself, I don't know of
anybody that's not aging.
We all will get to our 60s, 70s, 80s and, who knows, we might
be in need of care.
It's a common thing.
We all need some help, someassistance from time to time.
(19:39):
We might not be old, we mightjust have suffered an injury on
the job or some life-changingincident happened that we need
some, some assistance.
And that's where comfortkeepers comes in.
We're just here to make yourlife a little bit easier and,
again, if we are unable to dothat personally or from within
(19:59):
our company, we will help steeryou in the right direction.
So, again, as you said,piggybacking off what you said,
it starts with an initial call.
Let's get on the phone, let'smeet each other, let's see if
we're the right fit and, uh,hopefully we'll be able to help
you yeah, life can bechallenging.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
It is everybody can use a hand sometimes.
Yeah, it's that simple gooddeal, all right.
Well, so let's, let's leave itat that.
Everyone, if you enjoy thiscontent, don't forget to like
and subscribe.
You know the drill, all thatfun stuff.
If you yourself has had apersonal experience in anything
that we discussed today, let letus know about it in the
comments If you think that wemissed anything.
All your feedback is alwayswelcome.
(20:39):
We'd love to hear what you haveto say and we appreciate you
joining us on this journey, andwe wish you all a happy and
healthy day, and we'll catch younext time on the next episode
of the Comfort Keepers DailyPodcast.
Everyone, take care, stayblessed and have a wonderful day
.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers
Davey podcast.
For more information, visitcomfortkeeperscom or call
954-947-7954.
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