December 22, 2023 • 11 mins
As we string up the lights and deck the halls, have you ever paused to consider the seniors in our midst who might be silently struggling through the holiday season? That's precisely the conversation we're opening up with Kristi Gurule, our esteemed guest, who delicately sheds light on the emotional challenges faced by the elder community during what's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Together, we navigate through the complexities of joy and sorrow, sharing stories that tug at the heartstrings and offering insights that could change how we perceive and celebrate these festive times.
Gather 'round as we reveal how empathy and connection can transform the holiday experience for our beloved seniors. Kristi's anecdotes paint a vivid picture of how simple acts of engagement—like baking cookies or crafting decorations—can reignite cherished traditions and bring genuine smiles. We're not just talking about spreading holiday cheer; we're actively weaving a tapestry of warmth that honors the rich tapestries of life lived by our elders. This episode is a love letter to every senior—may the sounds of our voices remind you that you're cherished, and may our gestures reflect our deep appreciation for the wisdom and memories you share.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
or contact: (954) 947-7954
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGrulay.
Jeremy (00:11):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Comfort Keepers Davypodcast.
I'm your co-host, Jeremy Wolfe,and I'm joined by your host,
Christy Grulay.
Christy, so nice seeing youagain.
It's been.
We were just talking, it's beena minute, as they say.
Kristi (00:27):
It has been a minute.
It's been busy, it's been busyhere and everywhere.
So, and now here we are at theholidays.
Jeremy (00:34):
Yeah, kind of crept up on us, didn't it?
It seems like I don't know.
The older I get, the years justgo quicker and quicker and
quicker.
Kristi (00:42):
That's the wisdom that was always passed down to me is
that when you're young, the daysare long, and the older you get
, the shorter they become, andthe more kids you have, the
faster they also go.
And that's, that's seriouslythe boat.
That's, it's true.
Jeremy (00:55):
Yeah, it truly is a blur .
So, with the holidaysapproaching, I thought it might
be, or you thought it might beappropriate, to talk a little
bit about something thatprobably isn't on a lot of
people's radar, because with theholidays coming, a lot of
people are in good spirits, youknow.
You know they're with familyand friends, they're celebrating
.
But there's another side ofthat where you have the elder
(01:17):
community that may not have alot of family or maybe they lost
somebody close to them andthey're feeling a little
depressed over the holidays andthey're feeling a little blue.
I thought what a fitting timefor you to talk a little bit
about that and how ComfortKeepers kind of fits into that
equation, and maybe give sometips and advice for those out
there that are a little down, sothat they could elevate and
(01:39):
share their holiday season in apositive direction.
Absolutely.
Kristi (01:44):
It's.
It's so true because, like yousaid, holidays, most people are
very excited to get together.
The music, the I mean maybe notFlorida, change of seasons, but
you've got lights outside.
Everything is exciting.
And what I find, and what myteam finds, is that this is the
time of year where we might seea shift in some of our clients'
(02:05):
moods.
And if you dig a little bitdeeper, what you see is you see
an individual who's lived alovely, long life and they have
family that spread out throughthe state or the United States,
so they don't have thatconnectivity that they've had
and they want to reminisce abouttraditions and definitely,
(02:26):
christmas has passed andsometimes, when we talk about
things that we love and wereminisce, sometimes it does,
you know, it invokes emotionsthat are are sad too.
So you know, we haveindividuals who will maybe be
spending their first Christmaswithout a loved one.
That's a hard conversation and,as much as you want to be the
(02:48):
words of encouragement, it'shard to exactly put yourself in
that, in that situation, ifyou've not experienced it.
So this is where our caregivers, highly trained and interviewed
from the very beginning onempathy, being able to listen,
to encourage positivity out of aconversation that might tend to
(03:09):
become woe is me.
We find that sometimes it is thesmallest little Christmas
activities that can re spark joy.
So we may not think aboutbaking cookies with an elder, we
may think of taking themcookies, we may think of
bringing them dinner, butactually doing something with
(03:31):
them hands on, while talkingabout, you know, holidays past,
or whatever their celebrationsand traditions have been, is
such a way to elevate the humanspirit.
So we just recently did astocking decorating event and I
haven't decorated stockings fora long time and I know children
love to decorate stockings andornaments, but I can't tell you
(03:53):
how much joy came out of ourclients who are decorating the
stockings and the same thing.
I don't even have a place toput the stocking, but doesn't
matter.
Jeremy (04:02):
I'm going to make this.
Kristi (04:03):
It's fun.
It reminds me of when we usedto have this or when my children
did this, and that's what it'sall about.
So it's thinking outside of thebox and not just your standard.
Let's get together for food andthen really that brings up.
The other side of this, too, isthat there are plenty of people
that spend the holidays bythemselves, and so we we spend
(04:27):
our holiday, myself and myfamily all together.
But it is so important to reachout, to make that phone call to
tell somebody Merry Christmasand just to tell them that
you're thinking about them.
I had a gentleman call theother day and he thanked me for
a holiday card and all of ourholiday cards.
They're still handwrittenbecause I believe in that, and
(04:49):
my hands are all cramped at thevery end.
But there's something veryspecial about receiving
something in the mail that's notan ad, that's not a bill,
that's not, you know, junk mail,but something that's for them.
And he called and he was cryingand he said you know what?
I've been so depressed and Islept with that card.
I slept with it, I put it on mypillow because it meant so much
(05:10):
to me to know that somebodytook the time To tell me Merry
Christmas.
I didn't think that it wouldhave that impact, because I know
powerful stuff.
Jeremy (05:21):
So I get all warm and fuzzy inside and I get a little
bit teary because it is.
It is moving, it is emotional.
Kristi (05:27):
It is.
It's.
It is emotional, but it's justto paint the bigger picture of
what it is that our mission isIn the lives of the people that
we get to become a part of andthey become a part of us.
We take it so seriously, somuch further than these are the
services we provide.
It is really that relationship,not to replace anybody else in
(05:49):
the family, but to truly bethere when the others cannot be.
So what would you say?
Jeremy (05:54):
Along the lines of what you just recommended writing a
letter or doing these certainactivities to make somebody feel
that they are being thoughtabout.
Maybe for a family thatobviously the ideal situation
would be to spend time togetheras a family, and if you have an
elderly loved one that's inanother state, either bring them
to your state or travel to them.
For those that can't do thatand and maybe they are unable to
(06:18):
even, you know, hire a companylike yours, resources are kind
of scarce.
What are some other things thatcan be done?
I'm thinking out loud here Like, if you have kids, make a video
about and and or.
FaceTime.
Maybe some local support groupsor organizations that you can
coordinate with, to what aresome thoughts and ideas for
folks out there that are in thatsituation.
Kristi (06:40):
So I've seen a lot of really creative things.
I think the easiest thing thatmost people will go to is
technology.
So some of our elderly aren'tas technologically inclined,
maybe not even having the thesystem in place to FaceTime.
But there's so many newproducts on the market too that
are specifically geared For yourelderly loved ones to like
(07:02):
automatically answer in theFaceTime mode on this platform.
So I think anytime you can makea eye contact with someone that
says so much more because youcan read that than just hearing
it over the phone.
So that would be my firstrecommendation.
Now I'm all about the handmadeanything because it's sweet and
If there are children that are,you know, around available, this
(07:25):
is a great opportunity to havesomething created and sent in
the mail Again just to be ableto have it in your home.
There are local schools.
There are local schoolseverywhere that would love to do
cards for elderly individualsin their home or in facilities.
Even my children even took partin In a big group effort and
(07:47):
they all created Christmas cardsfor a local, a local nursing
home.
So again, anytime there'schildren involved, I feel like
there's just an instant spark ofhappiness.
Um, you can go one step further.
There are church groups thatare in so many communities that
every year want to do differentthings.
And for a family to call anorganization such as a church
(08:12):
and say I have a shut-in, really, truly, that's what it would be
.
I have a family member, I can'tmake it there, they don't have
anybody else.
What can you help me with?
And I've seen churches step upto bring them into a Christmas
dinner or service, which is justso kind, so extra.
But then I've also had churchgroups in the past who want to
(08:33):
go and carol, and that's a veryfun, exciting experience too.
So to open your door and havecarolers there, sent on behalf
of your family, to share thelove of Christmas with you.
So there are a lot of options.
Jeremy (08:47):
All good ideas and good tips, because I'm just thinking
in terms of we talked about thisin another episode about how
the elderly generations aretypically tend to be more
stubborn than most, and when itcomes to being alone and being
miserable or motivating andgoing out and finding something
to do, they'll typically opt tostay at home and just sit there
(09:09):
and be miserable.
So if you can offer someassistance with that, it's
definitely very positive andhelpful for sure.
Kristi (09:17):
I just it's honestly constant contact.
That's really what it is.
So sometimes you have to justkeep reintroducing,
reintroducing the idea of therebeing somebody coming, whether
it's from an agency such asmyself or just somebody in the
neighborhood.
There's a lot of ways to try toget your loved one encouraged
to leave their home for theirown good, and really they just
(09:40):
need to do it once or twice andthey realize how much better
they feel.
Jeremy (09:45):
Yeah, for sure, for sure .
But everybody out therelistening.
You hear that If you can makesure you get your elderly loved
ones close to home for theholidays, if possible, obviously
that's the most optimal play.
But if you can, if you havekids, and get them involved,
make sure they call grandma andgrandpa and spread the love and
spread the joy.
Let's make everybody happy andhealthy this holiday season.
Kristi (10:08):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Jeremy (10:11):
Anything else you'd like to share before we close up
here?
Kristi (10:15):
You know, I think the other thing is for the families
who do have the opportunity tobe around their family, their
elderly loved ones, and if it isjust around the holidays, this
is also a great opportunity totruly look at the big picture of
how your loved one is doing intheir home, noticing if there's
anything that seems a little offthis Christmas than last
(10:35):
Christmas.
Or the last time that you werein their home it was
Thanksgiving, that was justweeks ago, but if it was all the
way back in the summer and yousee a significant change, it's a
good time to also start havingthe conversation of let's get
some extra help in here.
So I receive a lot of phonecalls after the holidays along
those lines, and that'scompletely fine to start talking
(10:55):
about it.
Jeremy (10:57):
Yeah, definitely, as we talked about before, that is a
difficult conversation to have,and the earlier you could have
it and the more seeds you couldplant along the way and prepare
for it, obviously the better.
So, christy, thanks for yourinsights and wisdom.
Always a pleasure.
Thank you, yeah, and we'll wishyou a wonderful holiday season,
for you and your family alike,and to our listeners.
(11:20):
Thanks for tuning in.
You all also have a wonderfulholiday and we will catch you
after the new year.
Kristi (11:26):
Merry Christmas.
Jeremy (11:27):
Merry Christmas, everyone Take care.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers
Davy podcast.
For more information, visitComfortKeeperscom or call
954-947-7927.
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast,
where we elevate the humanspirit.
Here's your host, ChristyGrulay.
Jeremy (00:11):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Comfort Keepers Davypodcast.
I'm your co-host, Jeremy Wolfe,and I'm joined by your host,
Christy Grulay.
Christy, so nice seeing youagain.
It's been.
We were just talking, it's beena minute, as they say.
Kristi (00:27):
It has been a minute.
It's been busy, it's been busyhere and everywhere.
So, and now here we are at theholidays.
Jeremy (00:34):
Yeah, kind of crept up on us, didn't it?
It seems like I don't know.
The older I get, the years justgo quicker and quicker and
quicker.
Kristi (00:42):
That's the wisdom that was always passed down to me is
that when you're young, the daysare long, and the older you get
, the shorter they become, andthe more kids you have, the
faster they also go.
And that's, that's seriouslythe boat.
That's, it's true.
Jeremy (00:55):
Yeah, it truly is a blur .
So, with the holidaysapproaching, I thought it might
be, or you thought it might beappropriate, to talk a little
bit about something thatprobably isn't on a lot of
people's radar, because with theholidays coming, a lot of
people are in good spirits, youknow.
You know they're with familyand friends, they're celebrating
.
But there's another side ofthat where you have the elder
(01:17):
community that may not have alot of family or maybe they lost
somebody close to them andthey're feeling a little
depressed over the holidays andthey're feeling a little blue.
I thought what a fitting timefor you to talk a little bit
about that and how ComfortKeepers kind of fits into that
equation, and maybe give sometips and advice for those out
there that are a little down, sothat they could elevate and
(01:39):
share their holiday season in apositive direction.
Absolutely.
Kristi (01:44):
It's.
It's so true because, like yousaid, holidays, most people are
very excited to get together.
The music, the I mean maybe notFlorida, change of seasons, but
you've got lights outside.
Everything is exciting.
And what I find, and what myteam finds, is that this is the
time of year where we might seea shift in some of our clients'
(02:05):
moods.
And if you dig a little bitdeeper, what you see is you see
an individual who's lived alovely, long life and they have
family that spread out throughthe state or the United States,
so they don't have thatconnectivity that they've had
and they want to reminisce abouttraditions and definitely,
(02:26):
christmas has passed andsometimes, when we talk about
things that we love and wereminisce, sometimes it does,
you know, it invokes emotionsthat are are sad too.
So you know, we haveindividuals who will maybe be
spending their first Christmaswithout a loved one.
That's a hard conversation and,as much as you want to be the
(02:48):
words of encouragement, it'shard to exactly put yourself in
that, in that situation, ifyou've not experienced it.
So this is where our caregivers, highly trained and interviewed
from the very beginning onempathy, being able to listen,
to encourage positivity out of aconversation that might tend to
(03:09):
become woe is me.
We find that sometimes it is thesmallest little Christmas
activities that can re spark joy.
So we may not think aboutbaking cookies with an elder, we
may think of taking themcookies, we may think of
bringing them dinner, butactually doing something with
(03:31):
them hands on, while talkingabout, you know, holidays past,
or whatever their celebrationsand traditions have been, is
such a way to elevate the humanspirit.
So we just recently did astocking decorating event and I
haven't decorated stockings fora long time and I know children
love to decorate stockings andornaments, but I can't tell you
(03:53):
how much joy came out of ourclients who are decorating the
stockings and the same thing.
I don't even have a place toput the stocking, but doesn't
matter.
Jeremy (04:02):
I'm going to make this.
Kristi (04:03):
It's fun.
It reminds me of when we usedto have this or when my children
did this, and that's what it'sall about.
So it's thinking outside of thebox and not just your standard.
Let's get together for food andthen really that brings up.
The other side of this, too, isthat there are plenty of people
that spend the holidays bythemselves, and so we we spend
(04:27):
our holiday, myself and myfamily all together.
But it is so important to reachout, to make that phone call to
tell somebody Merry Christmasand just to tell them that
you're thinking about them.
I had a gentleman call theother day and he thanked me for
a holiday card and all of ourholiday cards.
They're still handwrittenbecause I believe in that, and
(04:49):
my hands are all cramped at thevery end.
But there's something veryspecial about receiving
something in the mail that's notan ad, that's not a bill,
that's not, you know, junk mail,but something that's for them.
And he called and he was cryingand he said you know what?
I've been so depressed and Islept with that card.
I slept with it, I put it on mypillow because it meant so much
(05:10):
to me to know that somebodytook the time To tell me Merry
Christmas.
I didn't think that it wouldhave that impact, because I know
powerful stuff.
Jeremy (05:21):
So I get all warm and fuzzy inside and I get a little
bit teary because it is.
It is moving, it is emotional.
Kristi (05:27):
It is.
It's.
It is emotional, but it's justto paint the bigger picture of
what it is that our mission isIn the lives of the people that
we get to become a part of andthey become a part of us.
We take it so seriously, somuch further than these are the
services we provide.
It is really that relationship,not to replace anybody else in
(05:49):
the family, but to truly bethere when the others cannot be.
So what would you say?
Jeremy (05:54):
Along the lines of what you just recommended writing a
letter or doing these certainactivities to make somebody feel
that they are being thoughtabout.
Maybe for a family thatobviously the ideal situation
would be to spend time togetheras a family, and if you have an
elderly loved one that's inanother state, either bring them
to your state or travel to them.
For those that can't do thatand and maybe they are unable to
(06:18):
even, you know, hire a companylike yours, resources are kind
of scarce.
What are some other things thatcan be done?
I'm thinking out loud here Like, if you have kids, make a video
about and and or.
FaceTime.
Maybe some local support groupsor organizations that you can
coordinate with, to what aresome thoughts and ideas for
folks out there that are in thatsituation.
Kristi (06:40):
So I've seen a lot of really creative things.
I think the easiest thing thatmost people will go to is
technology.
So some of our elderly aren'tas technologically inclined,
maybe not even having the thesystem in place to FaceTime.
But there's so many newproducts on the market too that
are specifically geared For yourelderly loved ones to like
(07:02):
automatically answer in theFaceTime mode on this platform.
So I think anytime you can makea eye contact with someone that
says so much more because youcan read that than just hearing
it over the phone.
So that would be my firstrecommendation.
Now I'm all about the handmadeanything because it's sweet and
If there are children that are,you know, around available, this
(07:25):
is a great opportunity to havesomething created and sent in
the mail Again just to be ableto have it in your home.
There are local schools.
There are local schoolseverywhere that would love to do
cards for elderly individualsin their home or in facilities.
Even my children even took partin In a big group effort and
(07:47):
they all created Christmas cardsfor a local, a local nursing
home.
So again, anytime there'schildren involved, I feel like
there's just an instant spark ofhappiness.
Um, you can go one step further.
There are church groups thatare in so many communities that
every year want to do differentthings.
And for a family to call anorganization such as a church
(08:12):
and say I have a shut-in, really, truly, that's what it would be
.
I have a family member, I can'tmake it there, they don't have
anybody else.
What can you help me with?
And I've seen churches step upto bring them into a Christmas
dinner or service, which is justso kind, so extra.
But then I've also had churchgroups in the past who want to
(08:33):
go and carol, and that's a veryfun, exciting experience too.
So to open your door and havecarolers there, sent on behalf
of your family, to share thelove of Christmas with you.
So there are a lot of options.
Jeremy (08:47):
All good ideas and good tips, because I'm just thinking
in terms of we talked about thisin another episode about how
the elderly generations aretypically tend to be more
stubborn than most, and when itcomes to being alone and being
miserable or motivating andgoing out and finding something
to do, they'll typically opt tostay at home and just sit there
(09:09):
and be miserable.
So if you can offer someassistance with that, it's
definitely very positive andhelpful for sure.
Kristi (09:17):
I just it's honestly constant contact.
That's really what it is.
So sometimes you have to justkeep reintroducing,
reintroducing the idea of therebeing somebody coming, whether
it's from an agency such asmyself or just somebody in the
neighborhood.
There's a lot of ways to try toget your loved one encouraged
to leave their home for theirown good, and really they just
(09:40):
need to do it once or twice andthey realize how much better
they feel.
Jeremy (09:45):
Yeah, for sure, for sure .
But everybody out therelistening.
You hear that If you can makesure you get your elderly loved
ones close to home for theholidays, if possible, obviously
that's the most optimal play.
But if you can, if you havekids, and get them involved,
make sure they call grandma andgrandpa and spread the love and
spread the joy.
Let's make everybody happy andhealthy this holiday season.
Kristi (10:08):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Jeremy (10:11):
Anything else you'd like to share before we close up
here?
Kristi (10:15):
You know, I think the other thing is for the families
who do have the opportunity tobe around their family, their
elderly loved ones, and if it isjust around the holidays, this
is also a great opportunity totruly look at the big picture of
how your loved one is doing intheir home, noticing if there's
anything that seems a little offthis Christmas than last
(10:35):
Christmas.
Or the last time that you werein their home it was
Thanksgiving, that was justweeks ago, but if it was all the
way back in the summer and yousee a significant change, it's a
good time to also start havingthe conversation of let's get
some extra help in here.
So I receive a lot of phonecalls after the holidays along
those lines, and that'scompletely fine to start talking
(10:55):
about it.
Jeremy (10:57):
Yeah, definitely, as we talked about before, that is a
difficult conversation to have,and the earlier you could have
it and the more seeds you couldplant along the way and prepare
for it, obviously the better.
So, christy, thanks for yourinsights and wisdom.
Always a pleasure.
Thank you, yeah, and we'll wishyou a wonderful holiday season,
for you and your family alike,and to our listeners.
(11:20):
Thanks for tuning in.
You all also have a wonderfulholiday and we will catch you
after the new year.
Kristi (11:26):
Merry Christmas.
Jeremy (11:27):
Merry Christmas, everyone Take care.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers
Davy podcast.
For more information, visitComfortKeeperscom or call
954-947-7927.
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