Chart It and Chill: Parenting Made Simpler

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Struggling with morning chaos? Drowning in constant reminders to your children? You're not alone, and there's a solution that doesn't involve raising your voice or losing your patience.

Charts, schedules, and routines are the powerful trio that can transform your home from frantic to functional. When children understand what comes next, they gain security and confidence that manifests as cooperation and independence. Think about it: as adults, we rely on calendars, reminders, and to-do lists to navigate our days—children need similar structures to feel grounded and capable.

Creating visual routine charts doesn't require elaborate materials or artistic skills. A simple poster board with pictures for younger children or text for older ones works perfectly. The magic happens when you involve your children in creating these charts, giving them ownership over their responsibilities. By referring to the chart rather than issuing commands, you eliminate power struggles and position yourself as a supportive guide rather than an adversary. "What are you supposed to be doing next?" becomes your new mantra, shifting responsibility to the child while maintaining clear expectations.

Structure isn't about creating perfect little robots who automatically follow orders. It's about providing the framework children naturally crave, even when they resist it. Start with just one routine—perhaps mornings or bedtimes—and build from there. You'll be amazed how quickly your children adapt and how dramatically the atmosphere in your home changes. The best part? You're not just solving today's chaos; you're teaching lifelong skills in time management, responsibility, and independence that will serve your children well into adulthood. Ready to bring more calm to your parenting journey? Start charting your way to peaceful routines today—I'm cheering you on every step of the way!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Common Sense Parenting with Pam, the
podcast where we simplifyparenting with common sense tips
, real life scenarios and alittle bit of humor along the
way.
I'm Pam and I'm here to helpyou build the skills and
confidence you need to raisehappy, resilient and responsible
children.
So grab your coffee, take adeep breath and let's tackle

(00:22):
parenting, one common sense tipat a time.
Where's your backpack?
Do you have your lunchbox?
Have you brushed your teeth?
Come on, you're going to missthe bus.
Let's go.
Does any of that sound likeyour hustle mornings?
I'm sure it is in manyhouseholds across the world.
So today we're going to betalking about how you can
restore order and reduce chaosin your house and teach your

(00:46):
children some independence andsome accountability and some
autonomy.
So welcome to our episode todayCharter and Chill Parenting
Made Simpler.
If you are tired of remindingyour children to do all of those
things every morning, relax,because I have got the secret
sauce for you.
It's called structure.
There are three things yourchildren need that are going to

(01:08):
help restore calm, cooperationand confidence for both you and
your children Charts, schedulesand routines, and that's what
we're talking about today.
Now, why does structure matter?
Well, it's simple.
Children thrive on structure.
It gives them a sense ofsecurity and safety.
They know what to expect, andthat helps reduce anxiety,

(01:32):
resistance and even meltdowns.
So think about it like thisYou're an adult, you like to
know what comes next.
You probably have calendars,reminder alarms set on your
phone, news notes in your phone,you have a planner, you have
to-do lists.
Well, children are the same.
When the day feelsunpredictable, it can be
overwhelming for them.

(01:53):
I know it is for me.
I like to have every morning.
I like to lay out what I'mgoing to do for that day.
So when there's a routine, itcreates a rhythm and they feel
more grounded and more incontrol.
Structure also teachesresponsibility and independence.
So when a child sees a chartthat says brush teeth, get
dressed, eat breakfast, theybegin to own those steps without

(02:16):
you having to nag them to dothose things.
Isn't that brilliant?
Let's get practical now.
How can we bring structure intothe home?
It's really simple.
You're going to use visualroutine charts One for the
morning, this is simple Morningone after school, one bedtime,

(02:37):
an overall daily schedule, andthen one that I call
responsibility chart, and youcan create these clip bar,
stickers, poster board.
You can even get the foam coreboards.
You know the trifold ones fromthe Dollar Tree.
Help your children create these, because it gives them more
buy-in and it makes it more fun.

(02:57):
Now your daily schedule is alittle bit different.
The daily schedule is going tobe general.
It's going to be something like7 am wake up, 8 o'clock school,
3.30 snack and free play, 5o'clock homework, 6 o'clock
dinner, 7.30 bedtime.
And that of course you're goingto adjust that to your own
household.
But having those scheduleseliminates that power struggle

(03:18):
of children saying I don't wantto do that now and you're like
well, that's what the schedulesays.
So it eliminates that.
The responsibility chart is thetasks that your child is
responsible for doing as part ofthe household.
You know you're a family.
You all participate together tokeep the running of the
household smooth.
Every child has jobs, or Idon't like to call them chores,

(03:42):
I call them responsibilities,because that's what they are.
And so you sit down with yourchildren or you prepare a list
of things that need done aroundthe house, and this would be
daily and weekly.
Things like mow the lawn, waterthe flowers, feed the dog,
change the dog's water bowl,change the kitty litter, do your
laundry, dust the house, runthe vacuum, empty the trash,

(04:04):
whatever it is that you have inyour house, right?
So for every child they'regoing to have their own
responsibility chart, becausethat's going to differ for each
child's responsibilities and asthey change you can change the
charts as well.
The other schedules are prettyset.
Those are the normal thingsthat are going to happen every
day.
The responsibility is somethinga little bit different and

(04:25):
remember, these charts don'tneed to be fancy, like I said.
So here's how you're going toget started on this.
Very easily, you pick oneroutine, just one.
Focus on that one first, sothat could be your morning or
the bedtimes.
Those are the great startingpoints.
Make the chart with your childNow.
With younger children, usepictures, and with older

(04:47):
children you can use words,younger children, pictures and
words.
So it would be picture ofsomeone getting dressed, a
picture of a backpack of alunchbox.
Now you can take pictures ofyour children's lunchbox and
shoes and coat if you want to,to make it even more connection
there with the child.
But help your child create thiswith you.

(05:10):
Help them choose the images,decide on the order they need to
go in, work on this togetherand you need to be consistent on
this.
So you're going to walk throughtogether for the first few days
, because this is a new habitfor them, to learn a new pattern
, that they have to establish anew routine.
So you want to make sure youlay that out for them and kind
of walk through and remind them.

(05:32):
Always celebrate these wins withthe children, praise their
independence, their cooperation.
And here's a pro tip on thisPlease do not expect perfection.
That's not even a goal, and thegoal is not to create these
little robots.
You know that automatically doeverything.
It's to reduce chaos and tohelp your children feel capable

(05:53):
and secure.
Now, with younger children, youmight want to laminate the
pictures, put Velcro on the backso you can easily adjust their
schedules.
You want to keep themconsistent as much as possible,
but we all know life happens.
Things change sometimes.
So you need to be flexibleenough to make those changes in
the schedule as needed.

(06:14):
And, of course, you'll haveyour school year schedule.
Then you'll have your summerschedule right during the
summertime, or your breakschedules for spring break or
whatever breaks they have duringthe year.
Now, if you have youngerchildren who are not in school,
they're home with you.
Maybe they go to preschool.
So you create schedules aroundthat so that your children, from

(06:35):
a very young age, get used tothis order.
Always post these where yourchildren can see them easily and
they're easily accessible.
That's on the refrigerator door, on their eye level, that's on
the back of their bedroom doorin the morning or at night.
Their morning and bedtimeroutines go there.
This could be a space in yourhouse that you have, like a wall
that you have all of themposted on.

(06:55):
Again, you could use a trifoldboard, put the different
schedules on there.
It could have the morning, theafternoon, the bedtime, even the
daily schedule all on onetrifold board that you can
easily fold up at the end of thenight and put away and bring
out the next morning if youwanted to.
If you don't want it hangingaround the house somewhere out
where everyone can see it.
Some people like to use thechecklists.

(07:17):
You know they do the task, theyget a checkmark.
Others just want the schedulethere for the children to see it
.
So that's a personal choice.
But create your systems.
This is all about systems.
This is all about organization.
This is all about consistency.

(07:38):
Now what happens if your childsay in the morning they're just
not getting their shoes on.
Normally, what moms I know whatI would do is like why aren't
you getting your shoes on?
Didn't I tell you to get yourshoes on?
We have to go.
Here's how this is going tochange.
Instead of you saying, wearyour shoes, aren't you supposed
to be getting your shoes onright now, you say what are you

(07:59):
supposed to be doing next?
And if they look at you, sayyou need to look at your
schedule or your chart, whatdoes that say you're supposed to
be doing next?
Now, do you see the differencethere?
You didn't say what they neededto be doing.
The schedule did.
The routine that they set up,the chart that's telling them
what they need to do next.
So you might have to remindthem you need to go look at your
chart, see what's next.
But this takes you out of theequation and the chart is the

(08:23):
one who is telling them what todo.
Now, I know that sounds silly,but, trust me, that avoids a lot
of power struggles, becauseit's not you bossing them around
and telling them, as childrenlike to say, you're not the boss
of me, and my response would beoh, yes, I am, but in this case
you don't have to be All right,so let's recap this for you.

(08:44):
Don't have to be All right, solet's recap this for you.
Remember structure helpschildren feel safe.
They need security.
They need to know what comesnext.
They also can createindependence, autonomy and
responsibility here andaccountability from managing
these charts.
It also, in the long run, isgoing to teach them time
management.

(09:04):
That's an extra added bonus.
The charts and the schedulesreduce power struggles, as we
just said, and these routinescreate peace and predictability
for your children.
So if you're ready to startbringing more common to your
home, that's great.
Start, small, build from there.
You're going to be amazed athow much smoother your days
become.

(09:25):
Thanks for hanging out with metoday on Chart it and Chill.
You've got this and I'mcheering you on every single
step of the way.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Common Sense
Parenting with Pam.
I hope you enjoyed the episodeand if you did, please leave a
review.
That helps other parents findus.
And if you have friends whoalso have children and could use

(09:47):
some parenting tips, feel freeto share this.
I'd really appreciate it.
You know, I'd love to hear fromyou so you can always find me
on my socials and until then,remember I can love your babies.