February 20, 2025 • 15 mins
Transitions can be challenging for children and stressful for parents, leading often to meltdowns. The episode offers simple strategies to facilitate smoother transitions, aiming to empower parents with effective tools and a positive mindset.
• Exploring why transitions are challenging for young children
• Importance of giving advanced warnings to kids
• Utilizing timers, visual cues, and signals for smoother transitions
• Incorporating fun games and interactive approaches
• Emphasizing the role of consistency in handling transitions
• Encouraging parents to remain calm and avoid power struggles
• Acknowledging children’s emotions during transitions
• Practical tips for creating a transition toolkit
Please leave a review. That helps other parents find us, and if you have friends who also have children and could use some parenting tips, feel free to share this.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Common Sense Parenting with Pam, the
podcast where we simplifyparenting with common sense tips
, real life scenarios and alittle bit of humor along the
way.
I'm Pam and I'm here to helpyou build the skills and
confidence you need to raisehappy, resilient and responsible
children.
So grab your coffee, take adeep breath and let's tackle
(00:22):
parenting one common sense tipat a time.
Hello everybody, and welcome toour episode today where we are
talking about transitioningwithout meltdowns.
Now, if you're a parent, I'msure you have dealt with this,
and if you haven't prepareyourself because most likely you
will at some point you havechildren.
Transitions can be challengingfor young children and they can
(00:46):
have meltdowns.
They start screaming, they havetantrums.
It could.
It can be something as simpleas having to leave the park,
turning off their iPads for yourolder kiddos or, you know,
getting ready to go to bed atnight, and they don't want to,
and they make excuses andreasons and try to negotiate and
compromise and all that goodstuff.
(01:07):
So it can get a little bitchallenging and we're going to
talk about some simple andeffective strategies to make the
transition smoother, make yourlife a little easier and your
child's as well.
But let's talk about whythey're so challenging in the
first place.
Well, there's several reasons.
One is maybe your child didn'thear you when you asked them to
(01:29):
do something you know it's timeto leave the park or it's time
to get ready for bed becausethey just didn't hear you.
They were busy doing what theywere doing, and they were either
so engaged in what they weredoing that they truly just did
not hear you because theirbrains just don't, you know,
switch gears as quickly as oursdo, and they're so engrossed in
what they're doing they tune youout right.
(01:50):
Or maybe they just used theirselective hearing and they
decided they didn't want to haveto listen to you.
So that's a skill that theyparticularly master when they're
teenagers.
So get prepared for that ifyou're not experiencing that
already.
Sometimes struggle is tough.
You have some neurodivergentkiddos that change is really
(02:13):
challenging for them, and so youhave to kind of ease into it
and use some differenttechniques to make that a
smoother process.
Young children don't understandthe concept of time.
So when you're saying to yourlike two, three, four,
five-year-old, we have to go infive minutes, you might as well
be speaking a foreign language.
They have no idea what thatmeans.
(02:35):
So we're going to teach yousome techniques you can use
instead.
And then those sudden changes.
So some children they can easeinto changes a little bit better
than others and some of thosesudden changes, without you
giving warning, that can reallytrigger their frustration, their
resistance, you know.
And then that's when they havethose full-blown meltdowns
(02:56):
sometimes.
What do you do about it?
How can you handle this?
Well, here we go.
Here are some simple ideas andthings that you can do to make
things smoother.
So number one, we all know thisyou give advanced warnings,
obviously, so you have to letthem know that a transition is
coming so they have time toprepare.
For example, with olderchildren you could say five more
(03:19):
minutes, we're leaving.
Or for younger children, twomore times down the slide
leaving.
Or for younger children, twomore times down the slide.
And then we need to go.
And here's an example I had mythree-year-old grandson
yesterday at an indoor playplace and it was getting ready
to leave time and I said threemore runs down that track and we
need to go, because it was likea little track that you could
(03:41):
ride a cart down in.
We did that three more timesand then we went and no problem,
he knew he was prepared.
He counted them out.
I even counted them out withhim, so it was great.
You can use timers, countdownsor visual cues.
So me saying three more slidesdown or three more rides down,
that was like a countdown forhim.
(04:02):
We counted three, two, one.
You can use timers.
Kitchen timers are amazing.
If you're at home, use thekitchen timer, set it say it's
going to be bedtime in 10minutes and you tell your
children when this dings it'stime for you to start getting
ready for bed.
I had him my grandson, at myhouse yesterday and afternoon
(04:22):
and we were, he was painting andthen he was playing with and he
was really engrossed in havingfun.
But it was time for me to gethim home.
So I picked up my phone and Iset an alarm on my phone and I
showed him and I said when thisrings, that means it's time to
stop and clean up.
And I set it for three minutesand the minute it went off, he
(04:46):
immediately stopped what he wasdoing and he cleaned up the
blocks.
I didn't have to repeat myself.
So it's a wonderful tool to use.
So use those apps on your phone,particularly with older kids.
You can use those.
And then you can use visualcues like the sand timers.
You know, you put those sandtimers down and you say, say,
your daughter's at the tabledoing her art and you need to
(05:11):
use the table to serve dinnershortly.
You can set a sand timer on thetable and turn it over and say,
as soon as the sand gets to thebottom, it's time for you to
start cleaning up.
So you've set it, she's gotthat visual cue and as soon as
that happens, she can startcleaning up.
The other thing you can do isuse a whistle.
Now I did a Facebook live aboutthis very topic so you can go
back and watch that if you want.
(05:31):
But I have six grandchildrenlive in the area, two that live
about an hour and a half away.
And the one day I was at thepark with six of my
grandchildren they were rangingin age from two to 13, 12 at
that time and it was me andwe're at the park and they're
running around, and what I toldthem before we went into the
(05:51):
park was I have a whistle, justlike a whistle a rep would use
or a coach would use, had itaround my neck.
I said when you're playing theminute you hear this whistle you
are to stop and come to mecheck in.
So I would blow the whistle.
Now did people look at me?
Yes, there were people at thepark going.
What is she doing?
But all six of my grandchildrenran to me.
(06:13):
Now the younger ones had to bereminded a couple of times, but
so we practiced this and then Iblew the whistle and it was time
to go.
I blew the whistle, they'llcome running over.
I said okay, guys, it's time togo.
You know, use what you can whereyou are.
I mean, it worked for me, Ipersonally.
Some you know, use what you canwhere you are.
I mean, it worked for me, Ipersonally.
Some people say why beembarrassed to do that?
People are looking at me.
I don't really care what peoplethink of me.
(06:33):
I haven't for a very long time,so it didn't bother me to do
that, but it worked.
It worked.
You know, use what you can.
So you can create, also like acountdown, cards which are index
cards with five, you know, downto to zero, and so if you're at
the park with your childrenyou're out somewhere, they're
(06:54):
playing you can show them thefive you know.
You can teach them.
When I get, when I show you thezero, it's time to go.
When I start showing you thenumbers, then it's time for you
to start winding down.
And once we get to the zero andyou can have the zero, like in
a red color or green to go, it'stime to leave.
So they've kind of eased theirway out.
You can use the traffic lightsystem, which is similar.
(07:15):
It's index cards and you have agreen say circle on there.
That means it's time to play.
Yellow is five-minute warning.
We're going to clean up.
Red means stop Now.
With the younger children, onceyou get to stop, that would be
the time they clean up.
With the older children, oncethey see yellow, that's their
time to start cleaning up.
(07:35):
So the younger children aregoing to understand that.
And you can use music.
When I had my child care homeand it was time to clean up, I
would put a song on, the samesong every day and I wouldn't
say a word and I just put themusic up loud enough so they
could hear it, because they wereengaged in free play, so
they're really engrossed andhaving fun.
But I would put the song on andnow would they immediately stop
(07:59):
what they were doing and startcleaning up.
No, but probably within about20, 30 seconds they realized
that they were hearing the musicand they knew that was their
signal to start cleaning up.
And that's how I used iteffectively.
And I also had hats that Iwould wear for different times
of the day.
So I had a hat that I gluedlike a fork and a spoon on a
(08:21):
plastic one and I would justwalk around and point to the hat
and they knew that was time forlunch.
I had one that I glued thecover of a book on an old book
on and they I would just pointto it and they knew it was story
time, so they would come andsit down for story time.
So I tried to teach them thesignals without me having to say
(08:43):
too much Made my life easierand they knew what they needed
to do, so it was very effective.
Much Made my life easier andthey knew what they needed to do
, so it was very effective.
And then this idea I love theytake a transition buddy or a
stuffed animal.
It can be a little dinosaur, itcan be a little doll, baby doll
, it can be whatever, and theyhave it at the park with them
and when it's time to go, say,from the park or wherever you
(09:04):
are, that object or that babydoll waves goodbye to everybody
and everything.
Go out by the swings.
Let's say goodbye to the parkor wherever you are, they, that
object or that baby doll wavesgoodbye to everybody and
everything.
Go out by the swings.
Let's say goodbye to the park,and that helps them transition
out into the car.
Now the other thing.
I love.
This I learned recently and Ishared this reel.
It's not my idea, I'm nottaking credit for this, but this
is brilliant and I'm sharing it, so it is on my Facebook page.
(09:27):
I have been an early childhoodfor 40 years and I'm sharing it,
so it is on my Facebook page.
I have been in early childhoodfor 40 years and I've never
heard this before.
It's genius and I do it with mygrandson all the time now and
it's so effective.
So here's the idea on this.
You know two, three, four yearolds.
They don't have logicalreasoning brains when you're
saying things to them like comeon, we got to go right now
because we have to get to thestore, and if I don't get to the
(09:48):
store, I'm not going to havetime to make dinner.
Okay, save your breath.
Or you want them to come to youand they're across the room and
you're asking them to come toyou and they're ignoring you.
I'll give you an example.
So I was at my daughter's houseand picking up my take him out
every Wednesday morning and wespend time together.
I love it.
(10:09):
He was standing in the kitchennear his dad and I was in the
dining room sitting at a tableand I wanted him to come to me
because I needed to brush hishair.
He has long hair and I usuallybrush and pull it back in a
ponytail or something for him.
So I said buddy, come on, let'sgo.
We need to get ready to go tothe library.
Let me comb your hair.
He just looked at me.
Okay, so did you hear what Isaid to him?
That was logical.
He could care less.
(10:29):
I need to comb your hairbecause we want to go to the
library.
You need to come over here.
And he was thinking oh, I don'twant you to brush my hair.
So I tried this.
I looked at him.
What this woman says ischildren are about their senses,
as we all know, not logical.
They're about feeling, touching, tasting, that kind of stuff.
(10:51):
So I said I'll bet you can'thook your little pinky finger to
mine.
He flew across that room,hooked his pinky finger to mine.
I put his little body betweenmy legs and I brushed his hair.
We went to the library.
I have done it so many timessince.
At this age children love funand games.
So you make it fun.
So you're leaving the park andyou can say let's see who can
(11:13):
get to the car like superheroesthe fastest.
Or I count them.
And again for two to five I'veeven done this with my earl
granddaughter I would say, hey,I need you to go put your shoes
on.
I bet you can't do it by thetime I count to 10, off they go.
Or my grandson the youngest, Iknow he has to go put your shoes
(11:33):
on.
I bet you can't do it by thetime I count to 10, off they go.
Or my grandson the youngest, Iknow he has to go to the
bathroom.
He's potty trained.
But I know he has to go.
But he's kind of resisting andI'll say do you need to go potty
?
And he'll say no.
And I'll say I'll bet I can getto the bathroom faster than you
, can.
It fun?
It does not have to be dauntingand a conversation and lots of
talk and discussion.
It's just fun.
(11:54):
Make it work.
Offer like a what's next phrase.
So say you're at the park andyou know you need to go home,
and you could say, hey, let's gohome and make a snack together.
So you've taken their focus onwhat they're doing and let's go
do this instead, that's next onwhat they're doing and let's go
do this instead, that's next.
It can make that much morepositive, that redirection much
(12:19):
more positive.
And then, with young kids, theybenefit the most from visual
timers, the sand timers, thosemusical cues we've talked about.
You can also do things like hey, when this song ends, it's time
to turn off your tablet.
Next thing you can do is youcan dim lights to signal
transition time.
I know when I was in school,teachers used to do that all the
time.
They dim the lights.
That meant quiet.
You can dim the lights to gettheir attention, to say hey,
when I turn the lights down,that means it's time to put your
(12:42):
stuff away and get ready forbed.
One lady shared a reel and Iposted on my page as well.
I love this idea.
She said when her it's time forbedtime.
She said, her and her husbandconstantly happen to have
conversations with the childrenabout bedtime and the resistance
and asking for more time.
And so what they did is theyhave several Lex's in their
(13:03):
house and they programmed themall to come on seven o'clock
every night, this one particularsong song.
They no longer have to say aword as soon as that song starts
playing in the house.
Wherever children are, they canhear it.
They automatically know it'stime to wrap it up and time for
bedtime routine.
And she said it has likechanged their life.
(13:24):
And one thing you have toremember is kids learn best
through repetition, over andover and over.
So so when you do this, beconsistent with what you're
doing and once they know thepattern, they're going to adjust
more easily over time.
For example, like, if they knowthe screen time always ends
with the timer, they'll startexpecting it.
Make sure you do it every timeand do not cave into the
(13:46):
commands or demands for extratime.
Please, please, please.
One more minute.
Stay consistent with this andyou know what.
It's okay if they're upset.
They're allowed to be upset andyou can acknowledge that.
You know.
You can say hey, I understand,I see you're upset.
It's hard to stop playing.
You had so much fun, but it'stime to go.
We need to go.
(14:13):
I hope those ideas give you sometools that you can add to your
parent toolkit.
Remember I say you know, justlike a construction worker or
contractor has that toolkitstrapped on him or her with all
the tools in there, you need tohave the same thing.
You need a variety of tools inyour toolkit that you can pull
out as needed.
So when they do still resist,now you've tried some things and
maybe you've told them I seeyou.
So when they do still resist,now you've tried some things and
maybe you've told them I seeyou're upset, but they still
resist.
(14:34):
Stay calm.
Do not engage in powerstruggles with your children.
You're the boss, you're incharge.
They don't have to like it, itjust is what it is.
So stay calm, keep your toneneutral.
Use the hey when we get home.
You Use the hey.
When we get home, you can havea snack, or when we do this, you
can do this.
Let's try the when-thenapproach and then follow through
, like I said every single time.
So remember, handlingtransitions does not have to be
(14:57):
a battle.
Give warnings, make it fun andoffer what next focus and it can
work wonders.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Common Sense
Parenting with Pam.
I hope you enjoyed the episodeand, if you did, please leave a
review.
That helps other parents findus, and if you have friends who
(15:19):
also have children and could usesome parenting tips, feel free
to share this.
I would really appreciate itand you know I'd love to hear
from you, so you can always findme on my socials.
And until then, remember, hugand love your babies.
Welcome to Common Sense Parenting with Pam, the
podcast where we simplifyparenting with common sense tips
, real life scenarios and alittle bit of humor along the
way.
I'm Pam and I'm here to helpyou build the skills and
confidence you need to raisehappy, resilient and responsible
children.
So grab your coffee, take adeep breath and let's tackle
(00:22):
parenting one common sense tipat a time.
Hello everybody, and welcome toour episode today where we are
talking about transitioningwithout meltdowns.
Now, if you're a parent, I'msure you have dealt with this,
and if you haven't prepareyourself because most likely you
will at some point you havechildren.
Transitions can be challengingfor young children and they can
(00:46):
have meltdowns.
They start screaming, they havetantrums.
It could.
It can be something as simpleas having to leave the park,
turning off their iPads for yourolder kiddos or, you know,
getting ready to go to bed atnight, and they don't want to,
and they make excuses andreasons and try to negotiate and
compromise and all that goodstuff.
(01:07):
So it can get a little bitchallenging and we're going to
talk about some simple andeffective strategies to make the
transition smoother, make yourlife a little easier and your
child's as well.
But let's talk about whythey're so challenging in the
first place.
Well, there's several reasons.
One is maybe your child didn'thear you when you asked them to
(01:29):
do something you know it's timeto leave the park or it's time
to get ready for bed becausethey just didn't hear you.
They were busy doing what theywere doing, and they were either
so engaged in what they weredoing that they truly just did
not hear you because theirbrains just don't, you know,
switch gears as quickly as oursdo, and they're so engrossed in
what they're doing they tune youout right.
(01:50):
Or maybe they just used theirselective hearing and they
decided they didn't want to haveto listen to you.
So that's a skill that theyparticularly master when they're
teenagers.
So get prepared for that ifyou're not experiencing that
already.
Sometimes struggle is tough.
You have some neurodivergentkiddos that change is really
(02:13):
challenging for them, and so youhave to kind of ease into it
and use some differenttechniques to make that a
smoother process.
Young children don't understandthe concept of time.
So when you're saying to yourlike two, three, four,
five-year-old, we have to go infive minutes, you might as well
be speaking a foreign language.
They have no idea what thatmeans.
(02:35):
So we're going to teach yousome techniques you can use
instead.
And then those sudden changes.
So some children they can easeinto changes a little bit better
than others and some of thosesudden changes, without you
giving warning, that can reallytrigger their frustration, their
resistance, you know.
And then that's when they havethose full-blown meltdowns
(02:56):
sometimes.
What do you do about it?
How can you handle this?
Well, here we go.
Here are some simple ideas andthings that you can do to make
things smoother.
So number one, we all know thisyou give advanced warnings,
obviously, so you have to letthem know that a transition is
coming so they have time toprepare.
For example, with olderchildren you could say five more
(03:19):
minutes, we're leaving.
Or for younger children, twomore times down the slide
leaving.
Or for younger children, twomore times down the slide.
And then we need to go.
And here's an example I had mythree-year-old grandson
yesterday at an indoor playplace and it was getting ready
to leave time and I said threemore runs down that track and we
need to go, because it was likea little track that you could
(03:41):
ride a cart down in.
We did that three more timesand then we went and no problem,
he knew he was prepared.
He counted them out.
I even counted them out withhim, so it was great.
You can use timers, countdownsor visual cues.
So me saying three more slidesdown or three more rides down,
that was like a countdown forhim.
(04:02):
We counted three, two, one.
You can use timers.
Kitchen timers are amazing.
If you're at home, use thekitchen timer, set it say it's
going to be bedtime in 10minutes and you tell your
children when this dings it'stime for you to start getting
ready for bed.
I had him my grandson, at myhouse yesterday and afternoon
(04:22):
and we were, he was painting andthen he was playing with and he
was really engrossed in havingfun.
But it was time for me to gethim home.
So I picked up my phone and Iset an alarm on my phone and I
showed him and I said when thisrings, that means it's time to
stop and clean up.
And I set it for three minutesand the minute it went off, he
(04:46):
immediately stopped what he wasdoing and he cleaned up the
blocks.
I didn't have to repeat myself.
So it's a wonderful tool to use.
So use those apps on your phone,particularly with older kids.
You can use those.
And then you can use visualcues like the sand timers.
You know, you put those sandtimers down and you say, say,
your daughter's at the tabledoing her art and you need to
(05:11):
use the table to serve dinnershortly.
You can set a sand timer on thetable and turn it over and say,
as soon as the sand gets to thebottom, it's time for you to
start cleaning up.
So you've set it, she's gotthat visual cue and as soon as
that happens, she can startcleaning up.
The other thing you can do isuse a whistle.
Now I did a Facebook live aboutthis very topic so you can go
back and watch that if you want.
(05:31):
But I have six grandchildrenlive in the area, two that live
about an hour and a half away.
And the one day I was at thepark with six of my
grandchildren they were rangingin age from two to 13, 12 at
that time and it was me andwe're at the park and they're
running around, and what I toldthem before we went into the
(05:51):
park was I have a whistle, justlike a whistle a rep would use
or a coach would use, had itaround my neck.
I said when you're playing theminute you hear this whistle you
are to stop and come to mecheck in.
So I would blow the whistle.
Now did people look at me?
Yes, there were people at thepark going.
What is she doing?
But all six of my grandchildrenran to me.
(06:13):
Now the younger ones had to bereminded a couple of times, but
so we practiced this and then Iblew the whistle and it was time
to go.
I blew the whistle, they'llcome running over.
I said okay, guys, it's time togo.
You know, use what you can whereyou are.
I mean, it worked for me, Ipersonally.
Some you know, use what you canwhere you are.
I mean, it worked for me, Ipersonally.
Some people say why beembarrassed to do that?
People are looking at me.
I don't really care what peoplethink of me.
(06:33):
I haven't for a very long time,so it didn't bother me to do
that, but it worked.
It worked.
You know, use what you can.
So you can create, also like acountdown, cards which are index
cards with five, you know, downto to zero, and so if you're at
the park with your childrenyou're out somewhere, they're
(06:54):
playing you can show them thefive you know.
You can teach them.
When I get, when I show you thezero, it's time to go.
When I start showing you thenumbers, then it's time for you
to start winding down.
And once we get to the zero andyou can have the zero, like in
a red color or green to go, it'stime to leave.
So they've kind of eased theirway out.
You can use the traffic lightsystem, which is similar.
(07:15):
It's index cards and you have agreen say circle on there.
That means it's time to play.
Yellow is five-minute warning.
We're going to clean up.
Red means stop Now.
With the younger children, onceyou get to stop, that would be
the time they clean up.
With the older children, oncethey see yellow, that's their
time to start cleaning up.
(07:35):
So the younger children aregoing to understand that.
And you can use music.
When I had my child care homeand it was time to clean up, I
would put a song on, the samesong every day and I wouldn't
say a word and I just put themusic up loud enough so they
could hear it, because they wereengaged in free play, so
they're really engrossed andhaving fun.
But I would put the song on andnow would they immediately stop
(07:59):
what they were doing and startcleaning up.
No, but probably within about20, 30 seconds they realized
that they were hearing the musicand they knew that was their
signal to start cleaning up.
And that's how I used iteffectively.
And I also had hats that Iwould wear for different times
of the day.
So I had a hat that I gluedlike a fork and a spoon on a
(08:21):
plastic one and I would justwalk around and point to the hat
and they knew that was time forlunch.
I had one that I glued thecover of a book on an old book
on and they I would just pointto it and they knew it was story
time, so they would come andsit down for story time.
So I tried to teach them thesignals without me having to say
(08:43):
too much Made my life easierand they knew what they needed
to do, so it was very effective.
Much Made my life easier andthey knew what they needed to do
, so it was very effective.
And then this idea I love theytake a transition buddy or a
stuffed animal.
It can be a little dinosaur, itcan be a little doll, baby doll
, it can be whatever, and theyhave it at the park with them
and when it's time to go, say,from the park or wherever you
(09:04):
are, that object or that babydoll waves goodbye to everybody
and everything.
Go out by the swings.
Let's say goodbye to the parkor wherever you are, they, that
object or that baby doll wavesgoodbye to everybody and
everything.
Go out by the swings.
Let's say goodbye to the park,and that helps them transition
out into the car.
Now the other thing.
I love.
This I learned recently and Ishared this reel.
It's not my idea, I'm nottaking credit for this, but this
is brilliant and I'm sharing it, so it is on my Facebook page.
(09:27):
I have been an early childhoodfor 40 years and I'm sharing it,
so it is on my Facebook page.
I have been in early childhoodfor 40 years and I've never
heard this before.
It's genius and I do it with mygrandson all the time now and
it's so effective.
So here's the idea on this.
You know two, three, four yearolds.
They don't have logicalreasoning brains when you're
saying things to them like comeon, we got to go right now
because we have to get to thestore, and if I don't get to the
(09:48):
store, I'm not going to havetime to make dinner.
Okay, save your breath.
Or you want them to come to youand they're across the room and
you're asking them to come toyou and they're ignoring you.
I'll give you an example.
So I was at my daughter's houseand picking up my take him out
every Wednesday morning and wespend time together.
I love it.
(10:09):
He was standing in the kitchennear his dad and I was in the
dining room sitting at a tableand I wanted him to come to me
because I needed to brush hishair.
He has long hair and I usuallybrush and pull it back in a
ponytail or something for him.
So I said buddy, come on, let'sgo.
We need to get ready to go tothe library.
Let me comb your hair.
He just looked at me.
Okay, so did you hear what Isaid to him?
That was logical.
He could care less.
(10:29):
I need to comb your hairbecause we want to go to the
library.
You need to come over here.
And he was thinking oh, I don'twant you to brush my hair.
So I tried this.
I looked at him.
What this woman says ischildren are about their senses,
as we all know, not logical.
They're about feeling, touching, tasting, that kind of stuff.
(10:51):
So I said I'll bet you can'thook your little pinky finger to
mine.
He flew across that room,hooked his pinky finger to mine.
I put his little body betweenmy legs and I brushed his hair.
We went to the library.
I have done it so many timessince.
At this age children love funand games.
So you make it fun.
So you're leaving the park andyou can say let's see who can
(11:13):
get to the car like superheroesthe fastest.
Or I count them.
And again for two to five I'veeven done this with my earl
granddaughter I would say, hey,I need you to go put your shoes
on.
I bet you can't do it by thetime I count to 10, off they go.
Or my grandson the youngest, Iknow he has to go put your shoes
(11:33):
on.
I bet you can't do it by thetime I count to 10, off they go.
Or my grandson the youngest, Iknow he has to go to the
bathroom.
He's potty trained.
But I know he has to go.
But he's kind of resisting andI'll say do you need to go potty
?
And he'll say no.
And I'll say I'll bet I can getto the bathroom faster than you
, can.
It fun?
It does not have to be dauntingand a conversation and lots of
talk and discussion.
It's just fun.
(11:54):
Make it work.
Offer like a what's next phrase.
So say you're at the park andyou know you need to go home,
and you could say, hey, let's gohome and make a snack together.
So you've taken their focus onwhat they're doing and let's go
do this instead, that's next onwhat they're doing and let's go
do this instead, that's next.
It can make that much morepositive, that redirection much
(12:19):
more positive.
And then, with young kids, theybenefit the most from visual
timers, the sand timers, thosemusical cues we've talked about.
You can also do things like hey, when this song ends, it's time
to turn off your tablet.
Next thing you can do is youcan dim lights to signal
transition time.
I know when I was in school,teachers used to do that all the
time.
They dim the lights.
That meant quiet.
You can dim the lights to gettheir attention, to say hey,
when I turn the lights down,that means it's time to put your
(12:42):
stuff away and get ready forbed.
One lady shared a reel and Iposted on my page as well.
I love this idea.
She said when her it's time forbedtime.
She said, her and her husbandconstantly happen to have
conversations with the childrenabout bedtime and the resistance
and asking for more time.
And so what they did is theyhave several Lex's in their
(13:03):
house and they programmed themall to come on seven o'clock
every night, this one particularsong song.
They no longer have to say aword as soon as that song starts
playing in the house.
Wherever children are, they canhear it.
They automatically know it'stime to wrap it up and time for
bedtime routine.
And she said it has likechanged their life.
(13:24):
And one thing you have toremember is kids learn best
through repetition, over andover and over.
So so when you do this, beconsistent with what you're
doing and once they know thepattern, they're going to adjust
more easily over time.
For example, like, if they knowthe screen time always ends
with the timer, they'll startexpecting it.
Make sure you do it every timeand do not cave into the
(13:46):
commands or demands for extratime.
Please, please, please.
One more minute.
Stay consistent with this andyou know what.
It's okay if they're upset.
They're allowed to be upset andyou can acknowledge that.
You know.
You can say hey, I understand,I see you're upset.
It's hard to stop playing.
You had so much fun, but it'stime to go.
We need to go.
(14:13):
I hope those ideas give you sometools that you can add to your
parent toolkit.
Remember I say you know, justlike a construction worker or
contractor has that toolkitstrapped on him or her with all
the tools in there, you need tohave the same thing.
You need a variety of tools inyour toolkit that you can pull
out as needed.
So when they do still resist,now you've tried some things and
maybe you've told them I seeyou.
So when they do still resist,now you've tried some things and
maybe you've told them I seeyou're upset, but they still
resist.
(14:34):
Stay calm.
Do not engage in powerstruggles with your children.
You're the boss, you're incharge.
They don't have to like it, itjust is what it is.
So stay calm, keep your toneneutral.
Use the hey when we get home.
You Use the hey.
When we get home, you can havea snack, or when we do this, you
can do this.
Let's try the when-thenapproach and then follow through
, like I said every single time.
So remember, handlingtransitions does not have to be
(14:57):
a battle.
Give warnings, make it fun andoffer what next focus and it can
work wonders.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Common Sense
Parenting with Pam.
I hope you enjoyed the episodeand, if you did, please leave a
review.
That helps other parents findus, and if you have friends who
(15:19):
also have children and could usesome parenting tips, feel free
to share this.
I would really appreciate itand you know I'd love to hear
from you, so you can always findme on my socials.
And until then, remember, hugand love your babies.
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