You Are NOT a Bad Parent - You're Just Tired!

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Parenting during times of high expectations and social media perfection can make us feel like failures, but struggling doesn't mean you're failing—it means you're human. Good parents worry about doing it wrong and care about how their actions affect their children, while truly bad parents don't show up, try, or care.

• Fatigue is the number one issue reported by women in recent surveys
• Yelling, needing alone time, or relying on screen time doesn't make you a bad parent
• Lower your expectations and give yourself grace during difficult days
• Try the "I'm going to rest for 30 minutes then we'll all clean" parenting hack
• Your presence matters more to your children than perfection
• Children will remember you showing up, not whether everything was perfect
• Repeat the mantra "I'm doing the best I can with what I've got today"

Please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode—it helps other parents find us. If you have friends with children who could use some parenting tips, feel free to share, and you can always find me on my socials. Until then, remember, hug and love your babies.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Common Sense Parenting with Pam, the
podcast where we simplifyparenting with common sense tips
, real life scenarios and alittle bit of humor along the
way.
I'm Pam and I'm here to helpyou build the skills and
confidence you need to raisehappy, resilient and responsible
children.
So grab your coffee, take adeep breath and let's tackle

(00:23):
parenting one common sense tipat a time.
Hey, welcome back to ourpodcast, common Sense Parenting
with Pam.
I'm so glad you joined me todaybecause today's episode is just
for you.
Yes, you.
The mom who cried in thebathroom yesterday, in the
shower this morning, the dad whoyelled and then immediately

(00:45):
felt guilty, the caregiver who'srunning on fumes I can just
feel the weight of all that.
This one is titled.
You're not a bad parent, you'rejust tired.
And if your heart justwhispered, that's me.
That's me.
I hope you'll stick around.
I want to start with the truththat might surprise you.

(01:07):
Struggling doesn't mean you'refailing.
It means you're human.
You are parenting in a timewhen expectations are sky high.
Social media shows you perfectbirthday parties, well-dressed
children and parents who neverseem to lose their cool.

(01:27):
Really, behind the scenes, mostof us are just trying to make
it to bedtime, withoutcompletely unraveling, I
remember those days.
I'm in the grandparent stagenow, but I promise you I
remember those days.
So keep this in mind.
You're not a bad parent becauseyou yelled.
So keep this in mind.

(01:48):
You're not a bad parent becauseyou yelled.
You're not a bad parent becauseyou didn't want to play with
those darn baby dolls again.
You're not a bad parent becauseyou hid in the pantry to eat a
cookie alone.
Oh, I remember like putting apiece of candy in my pocket and
trying to go somewhere andsilently unwrap it and all of a
sudden they have like radar earsand they find you right.
You're not a bad parent if youdo these things.

(02:10):
You're just tired.
And when you're tired,everything feels harder.
And let me just sidebar here.
I heard a recent podcast from adoctor who works primarily with
women and she said theysurveyed women, asking them what
the number one issue they hadwas and, not surprisingly, like

(02:32):
60% said fatigue.
What a shocker.
I mean we could have all toldthem that without them having to
do a survey.
Right, fatigue.
You know what I remind parentsI work with.
Good parents worry they're doingit wrong.
Good parents care about howtheir actions affect their
children.
Bad parents.

(02:53):
They don't show up, they don'ttry, they don't care.
So here you are, listening to apodcast about parenting because
you want to do better.
That's not failure, that'scommitment, and I applaud you
for that.
Let's flip the script.
You yelled, but you alsoapologized.
You forgot something, but youshowed up anyway.

(03:15):
You gave them screen time, butyou also gave them love.
Grace matters more thanperfection, and I'm actually
sitting here wearing a t-shirtthat says grace changes
everything, and it does.
Give yourself grace, Give yourchildren grace.
If today has been hard, I wantyou to take a deep breath,

(03:36):
literally right now.
Just do it with me.
You're going to inhale andexhale Ready.
You deserve a pause.
You deserve a reset.
You don't have to have it allfigured out by dinner.
What you can do is this Lowerthe bar today.

(03:57):
Everything doesn't have to beperfect.
Say yes to rest, even if it'sjust 10 minutes by yourself,
even if you have to go in thebathroom and shut the door.
Find five or 10 minutes a dayto yourself and rest, remind
yourself.
I'm doing the best I can withwhat I've got today.

(04:18):
Just that's a mantra for you.
I'm doing the best I can rightnow.
I'm doing the best I can rightnow.
Say that over and over toyourself, and let me sidebar
here on this one too If you wantto rest I shared this on my
Facebook live yesterday this isa great trick If you want to get
some rest, you tell yourchildren are these, you know,
children a little bit older?
You say, hey, listen, mommy'sgoing to go lay down for about

(04:39):
30 minutes, wake me up in 30minutes, and then we'll all
start cleaning.
They're not going to wake youup, they're going to leave you
alone.
They're going to be very, veryquiet because they do not want
you to wake up.
So they have to start cleaning.
Okay, so just take some deepbreaths, remind yourself.
You know what.
I've got this.
I've got this.

(04:59):
I'm doing the best I can withtoday and tomorrow.
Try again.
That's it.
Just try again.
Is it going to be perfect?
Who knows?
Is it going to be a gold starday?
Possibly.
Is it going to stink frombeginning to end?
Maybe, but you just take it oneday at a time.
Release that pressure you haveon yourself.
Release that pressure.

(05:20):
You have to be the perfectparent who never makes a mistake
, who never yells, who neverloses their cool, who's always
there for everything for theirchildren.
Oh, just listen to that Makesme feel tired, no wonder.
So I want to close by sayingthis If no one else has told you

(05:41):
today, you are a good parent.
Your tired moments do not eraseyour love.
Good parent, your tired momentsdo not erase your love, and
your presence means more thanyour perfection ever could, ever
could.
Keep that in mind.
Your children are going to lookback and they're going to
remember the times you spentwith them, you showing up at

(06:03):
their school events, theirsporting events, participating
in their classroom, you know,assisting as you can,
volunteering.
They're going to remember youbeing there.
They're not going to remembereverything being absolutely
perfect, so I appreciate youbeing here with me today.
I hope this gave you a littlebit of sense of peace, because

(06:26):
parenting's parenting is tough,but it's also one of the best
things you will ever do.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Common Sense
Parenting with Pam.
I hope you enjoyed the episodeand, if you did, please leave a
review.
That helps other parents findus.
And if you have friends whoalso have children and could use

(06:47):
some parenting tips, feel freeto share this.
I would really appreciate itand you know I'd love to hear
from you, so you can always findme on my socials.
And until then, remember, hugand love your babies.