February 17, 2024 • 53 mins
When Jamie Madigan found himself grappling with a cancer diagnosis amidst the pandemic's peak, he didn't realize his journey would become a beacon of hope and resilience for many. Communication TwentyFourSeven host, Jennifer Furlong, sat down with Jamie to untangle the complexities of patient advocacy, the critical need for accurate diagnosis, and the power of human connection when facing life's most formidable challenges. We uncover the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of a support network, offering listeners a raw and inspiring glimpse into the world of cancer survival.
This episode also illuminates the sometimes unspoken language of cancer—where words of encouragement matter, how to communicate effectively with medical professionals, and why a sense of camaraderie, even humor, can become a lifeline amidst the fight.
We also explore the daunting decisions that come with treatment options, emphasizing the empowerment that stems from second opinions and informed choices. Listeners will gain insight into the proactive steps one can take, from lifestyle changes to keeping meticulous health records. This episode is about more than just surviving; it's about taking the reins on your health journey, finding laughter in unexpected places, and building a community that stands strong together in the face of cancer.
Connect with Jamie:
Website: https://www.beaconpoint.ca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamiemadigan/
Calendar Booking: https://calendly.com/jamiemadigan/intro
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome to the Communication 24-7 podcast,
where we communicate about howwe communicate.
I'm your host, jennifer Furlong.
Jamie, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I'm good, jen, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
So good to see you, my friend.
I have been so excited to havethis conversation with you To
the listeners.
I want you to know howincredibly important this
conversation is about to be.
If you have not been personallyimpacted by this topic we're
going to discuss today, chancesare you will be impacted by it
(00:56):
at some point.
Today's conversation is goingto center on cancer and having
cancer conversations.
Jamie Madigan is a friend ofmine.
He lives in Toronto, Canada.
We met through a couple ofonline groups that we were both
members of.
I just really enjoyed havingconversations with him.
(01:18):
Both of us have had cancerjourneys.
I've asked Jamie to be on theshow because I think we both
agree that once you're diagnosed, you end up having a lot of
interesting conversations withfriends and family, Some of it
(01:39):
positive, some of it challenging.
He's been so gracious to agreeto have this conversation with
me.
So listeners stay tuned becausethere's going to be so much
coming out of this conversation.
So again, Jamie, thank you forbeing on the show.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you for agreeing to havethis conversation with me,
(02:02):
because I know it's not an easyconversation, but it's important
.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, no, exactly, jen.
I couldn't agree more.
That's why I'm here today.
That's why I'm also excited forthe conversation and, just
having gone through all of theissues that I know between my
dad and them myself, I'velearned all about the importance
of communication, patientadvocacy.
(02:27):
So I'm excited to discuss thatin greater detail today and
share that with the audience.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You are a financial planner bytrade and so that's going to be
just so everybody knows we aregoing to have you back again.
We will have that conversationseparately, because that's also
an important topic to discuss.
But to get everybody caught upon what has been happening with
(02:54):
you and your cancer journey, doyou mind just sharing with the
listeners what happened?
How did you find out about yourcancer diagnosis?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Sure, so I'll try to give you the high level
executive summary, but this goesback to April 2021.
And, of course, covid is stillhappening.
I can't remember if we were inlockdown at a lockdown it's all
a blur back then.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think we were still in lockdown.
I think we were still right inthe middle of it.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I think so and, for starters, I don't have a family
doctor.
I haven't had one since 2018,when the walking clinic I was
going to closed and I didn'tdiscover, probably about a year
after they closed, that they hadclosed.
So I thought, oh, I guesshealth has been good, I haven't
(03:53):
needed them.
But yeah, in April 2021, funnyenough, it was a Saturday
afternoon, I remember it vividlygot out of the shower,
discovered a lump in my groin,which naturally should not be
there.
That's not normal.
Then I thought to myself okay,what do I do?
(04:13):
I haven't been able to find afamily doctor.
I haven't been able to find awalking clinic in the area that
I like.
Oddly enough, I was on my phoneand I think it was likely on a
social media app and I got a popup about Tell Us Health, an app
(04:34):
that you can download forvirtual appointments.
So I thought, okay, this is asign.
I hope, downloaded the app,created my profile and I had an
appointment that afternoon, Ithink, even within a half hour.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, better than nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, it was still relatively new.
So I had virtual appointmentover the phone with the video
explained about the lump, andthey said, okay, well, we'll
send you for imaging and I wentahead and ultrasound done at a
nearby lab.
When I got there I told thetechnician, I said I understand,
(05:15):
like they said, to doultrasound on the lump, and I
was ready to go all around seeif there's anything else in the
area.
And then of course she juststicks to the limited area and I
thought, oh God, somethingmight be missed.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Don't go above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, let's not go the extra mile, that's right.
But yeah, and then within aweek I had a follow up
appointment and was told oh,it's likely just a mass, don't
worry about it, it should goaway three to four months.
If it doesn't, or if it getsbigger, call us back and let us
(05:56):
know.
That was a Tuesday, I think,and then by Friday it just
wasn't sitting right with me and, oddly enough, I was talking to
a mastermind group on Fridaymorning and we got onto the
topic of GPs, doctors and thefact that family doctors know a
(06:18):
little bit, a lot, but notreally specialists.
So I thought, okay, here'sanother sign.
I can't wait three to fourmonths and just hope this goes
away.
I don't think it's just a mass.
So I booked in anotherappointment and said, look, it's
getting bigger.
What's the next step?
(06:39):
So I need a referral to aspecialist.
Well then, it was a referral toa urologist, thinking that it
could be a hernia.
They've referred me to oneurologist who I guess had a
massive backlog.
So after a while I said, look,I live in downtown Toronto.
(07:00):
If this guy is the best, I canwait, but I gotta believe that
there's other urologists I cango see and, again, I can walk,
drive.
It doesn't have to be downtown.
I wanna get this taken care ofsooner rather than later.
So eventually they've referredme to someone else and I was
(07:21):
able to get in to see him ratherquickly.
Right away he confirmed he'slike I'm glad you pushed, this
isn't a mass.
I think it's a hernia.
I can't confirm that though, soI'll refer you to a general
surgeon who can confirm that.
So he referred me to generalsurgeon at St Mike's, the local
(07:42):
hospital, and in the meantime Ialso had imaging done at the
hospital.
So we did an ultrasound, a CTscan and blood work and I
finally got in.
So I saw him in June, finallygot in to see the general
surgeon in August.
She was impressed at all thetests that he had run and
(08:03):
commented thank God he ran thosetests because in looking
through them this is much morethan just a hernia.
There's a team that deals withthis at Mount Sinai, another
local hospital in downtownToronto.
Fortunately, one of theadvantages of living in downtown
Toronto is I could walk to allthese hospitals.
(08:25):
So I got in to see them inOctober, did some more imaging
tests, blood tests.
They had an inkling that it waslikely cancer, did a biopsy end
of October and then early tomid-November it was confirmed
that it was cancer and, ofcourse, apparently a unique form
(08:48):
.
I'm like, okay, I did not wantto be special and unique in this
area and at the time I was only44.
So not something I expected.
My dad and three of my uncleshave had prostate cancer all
later on in life, so I figuredprobably in my 60s I'd be
(09:11):
hearing that diagnosis.
But at 44, that was notsomething I expected.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I was also 44 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer
, and you're right, we feel soyoung.
It's like wait a minute.
This is not normal, and so itsounds like it was what a good
four, five, six months betweenyou discovering it and then it
finally being diagnosed.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
From April to November.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Wow, wow, so let's-.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Only because I kept pushing.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Thanks God it was three to four months or it would
have been likely a year.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
So, that really underscores theimportance of being your own
advocate, just being willing topush it when you feel like you
need to push it.
So how were you able to I don'tknow if the right word is have
the strength, or maybe just theperseverance, to do that,
(10:16):
because it's very easy to getfrustrated with the system?
Now I live in the United Statesand you're in Canada.
We know that the entire medicalindustry is completely
different between the twocountries, but the frustration
is there, no matter what,because we have to wait a fair
(10:37):
amount of time or the same thing.
You'll have a doctor that justdoesn't think it's anything
serious.
So what did you do to perseverethrough that?
So many people give up.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, no, that's a great question, jen, and for me
it was just wanting to know andgetting answers, because I try
to always maintain a positivemindset and focus on what I can
control.
I was in the best shape of mylife eating healthy, working out
every day, so that was theother thing I might get.
(11:14):
No, this can't be happening.
This is the best I've ever been.
So, yeah, I just kept pushingfor answers and then, when I
finally was diagnosed, my firstquestion to my oncologist and
general surgeon was would youconsider this to be life
threatening cancer?
(11:35):
And they both gave me thisweird luck Like, why, like, yes,
why do you ask?
Nobody's ever asked us thatbefore.
I said well, remember, I'm acertified financial planner,
I've got a critical illnesspolicy.
If this is life threateningcancer, I should be able to make
a claim and, depending ontreatment, if I have to take
(11:58):
time off work, I'm 100%commission, so the claim could
be huge.
So, yeah, I was able to getthem to complete the paperwork
for me, submitted the claim andwithin eight business days of
submitting the claim, I receiveda check in the mail.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wow, that's a big lesson learned right there for
our listeners.
Really look into that, becauseI know we have critical health
insurance as well.
I had that as well when I wasdiagnosed and it was a huge help
.
So if you're a listener and youdon't know what that is, I
really encourage you to lookinto that, because neither one
(12:39):
of us planned for it, you know,but it happens and, jamie, you
know you were in the shape ofyour life running and working
out and eating healthy and sothat kind of busts, you know
that myth that hey cancer is.
You know it's connected to,although there are some
(12:59):
correlations, but you knowanybody can get it.
Anybody can get diagnosed withit.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, and the more I've researched it, Jen, and
looked into it, cancer is justreally our own cells turning
against us.
So, as much as people thinkit's genetic, genetics really
only plays a small role in it'sreally all about our diet,
nutrition and environment thatreally impacts whether or not we
(13:29):
get it and how severe it is.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, so I imagine that was just a huge surprise
for you.
I think it's a huge surprisefor anybody when you hear that
diagnosis.
So after you were diagnosedthis is a conversation I have
with a lot of cancer patientsOnce you're diagnosed, how
people treat you like friendsand family, or the types of
(13:53):
conversations that you have didyou feel that you were well
supported?
You know at the beginning whatwere those conversations like
with your friends and family andI'll share what mine was like,
but I'm curious about yourexperience with that.
(14:15):
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Speaker 1 (15:00):
Sure.
So while I was going through allthis from April to November, I
really only two friends of mineknew I didn't tell my family
because my dad was dealing withhis own health issues and in
September or October he wasgiven three to six months to
(15:21):
live.
So I didn't want to be worryingmy family without knowing for
sure what I was dealing with,because we were already dealing
with enough with my dad.
So I can't thank my two friendsenough for being there to
support me, checking in on me.
Unfortunately, even with theweights that I've had, everyone
(15:49):
that I've dealt with has beenamazing.
So that is the plus side, thatand given everything like the
healthcare industry has beenthrough with COVID, as you know,
like they are overworked, theyare going through so much.
So the fact that I feel likeI've been treated well, not a
(16:12):
number, I'm not rushed.
I showed up with lots ofquestions, I'm very detail
oriented and they always taketheir time with me, answer all
of my questions, I don't feelrushed, but I'm sure the fact
that I show up organized, with aplan and knowing like dates,
times, who I've met with, whenmy tests, everything, Did you
(16:36):
have a notebook with you so youcould keep track of everything?
It's all on my phone.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Oh, okay, good, oh good, good idea.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
So I keep.
Yeah, I just have a bunch ofnotes on my phone so it's always
with me and I make it known atthe start of every meeting.
Every time I meet with somebodynew I say just so you know, I'm
taking notes on my phone.
I'm not texting friends orfamily and that usually gets a
laugh, but I want them to beaware that I'm taking control of
(17:07):
my health and every time I'veshown anybody the notes, they're
always impressed at howdetailed they are.
But that really goes back to mycareer as well.
From audit and compliancepurposes I've got to be very
structured detail everyconversation I have with my
client, everything that we'redoing.
(17:28):
So that has been instilled withme for over 20 years now.
So naturally I applied thatboth to my dad's health when I
was advocating for him and nowto mine when I was advocating
for me.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
So there are really two important points I want to
highlight here.
Number one the communicationyou're having with your doctors.
I did the same thing, but I hada notebook that I would bring
in because I would want to handwrite and scribble and all of
that.
But it's really helpful for youto be able to keep track of
that, because when you arestressed out and you're in the
(18:07):
doctor's office and if you don'thave your questions written
down, you'll probably forgetwhat they were.
So it really helped me to havethose questions figured out
ahead of time so I could walk inthere with my little notebook
and remember oh yeah, this iswhat I was gonna ask and then,
by scribbling down their answers, it was also a way to track our
(18:27):
conversations, because you endup having so many different
doctors that you have to see itcan easily get jumbled up in the
brain.
So that's such a fantasticpiece of advice for anyone who
ends up going through thisexperience.
That's a great communicationtool to have.
The second thing I wanted tohighlight you had mentioned that
(18:51):
at that time you hadn't talkedto your family about the
diagnosis because they weregoing through another serious
issue with your dad.
But your friends were key inhelping you along.
So, from that perspective, whatdid your friends say or what
(19:12):
did they do to really help youin that time of need?
Like I said, if we have notbeen impacted by it ourselves,
likely we're gonna know someonewho is diagnosed with some form
of cancer.
So what type of advice wouldyou give our listeners on how to
be that good friend?
What were those conversationslike?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Honestly, jenna was just checking in on me offering
to go to any of my appointmentsif I wanted support and just
saying how are you, do you wannado something?
Let's get together, get yourmind off things.
So that's what I appreciated,and especially again during
(19:57):
COVID.
And I got a new appreciationfor I learned to really were my
friends and who would check upon me and I'd also check up on
them and who I never heard from.
So yeah, just the checking inand offering support, that is
(20:17):
what really did it for me.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, it can be a really lonely journey if you
don't have anyone checking in onyou.
So if you do have friends whoare offering that, don't turn
them away.
Just accept the love when it isoffered and just allow them to
be there for you.
I interviewed this was lastyear I interviewed an HR
(20:43):
director and she had shared withme her husband had passed away
from cancer and as an HRdirector, it made her realize
that there were so many peoplein the workplace that just were
not prepared, especiallymanagers.
They just weren't prepared.
How do they handle this?
How do they manage employeeswho have been diagnosed with
(21:05):
cancer or they have a loved onewho is diagnosed with cancer?
And one of the things sheshared with me that she found
was incredibly helpful was whenher friends were as specific as
possible with what they wereable to do, and so a piece of
advice, she said, is if you'reable to go to the grocery store,
offer to go into the grocerystore.
(21:26):
If you're able to watch theirkid, if they're a parent, offer.
That, she said because the morespecific you can get, the more
that they are likely to acceptthat offer.
Because it can be a littledifficult to say hey, just tell
me what you need, becausesometimes we don't even know
what we need In that moment intime.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's just it.
And I feel fortunate because ithasn't really impacted my
lifestyle yet, or at least notseverely.
I've still been able to work,which has been huge.
But, yeah, I've had a lot ofoffers that if you need anything
, if we can do a grocery run foryou, let us know.
(22:10):
So, yeah, just even thoselittle things.
I kind of feel bad.
I'm like no, I'm fine, like Ican walk to get my groceries or
drive to get my groceries.
I'm not in bed, I'm stillliving.
But yeah, just those littleoffers are appreciated and I
shared it eventually.
I shared it on social media inDecember and just did some
(22:35):
public posts because I'm like,rather than have this
conversation over over over, I'mjust gonna blast it out to
everyone.
And then, yeah, I foundactually one of my friends
reached out and I didn't knowthat he had been diagnosed with
cancer years back and he gave mea headset.
He's like, hey, you probablydon't know this, but I have
(22:56):
cancer, I've recovered.
He's like I'm here for youwhatever you need, but just so
you're aware.
He's like people will reach outto you because you've posted
this, but they're scared, theydon't know what to say and don't
be surprised if nobody followsup and you don't hear from a lot
(23:16):
of them again, because theyjust don't know what to do or
say.
And now they're scared for you.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And it's okay from a communication standpoint, if
you're a friend or even a familymember.
If you don't know what to say,it's okay to say that.
I mean, I completely understandthat.
I mean it just, yeah, thissucks, right.
I don't know what to say exceptfor this sucks and that's it.
I'm here for you, but I justdon't know what else to say
(23:51):
because, it's true, I mean, nomatter what they say, it's
really not going to, at the endof the day, make it better.
You still have to go throughyour treatments, you're still
having to deal with somethingthat they're not having to deal
with.
So I think, just being honestand just showing that you want
to offer some support, but ifyou don't know how, then there's
(24:12):
nothing wrong with saying thatand I'm glad your friend said
that to you.
Was that helpful to you?
Like, was that a way to helpyou just feel better about those
who kind of disappeared afteryou made the announcement?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, no, it was perfect because it was an
eye-opener for me, somethingthat I wasn't aware, I've never
thought of, and sure enough, ithappened.
So when it happened, I thought,okay, well, this is exactly
what he warned me about, what hesaid again, for anyone who's
listening, it's okay just to say, like even some messages I got
(24:48):
Jamie, no need to respond justwanted you to know that I'm
thinking of you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Or sending you positive vibes or praying for
you and all those little things.
It warms the heart, it makes mefeel good.
And the few people that said noneed to respond.
I'm like, okay, you get it thatmaybe I don't wanna respond
right away or I don't know howto respond based on the message
(25:19):
Right.
And then I did learn between mydad passing away and me sharing
my diagnosis, becauseunfortunately it all happened in
the same week, in December, andI thought, oh wow, how am I
gonna top this messaging?
I know that people mean well,but some of the messages just
had such a negative tone, oh, nothat.
(25:41):
Oh my God, jamie, this is sohorrible.
I can't believe you're havingto go.
And I'm like, how or why wouldI respond to this, especially
the fact that I'm so positive?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, it's all about mindset.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, so that was a good wake up call from me.
And another friend had alsogiven me a heads up when my dad
passed, because he lost his dadjust a few weeks before me.
Same thing he's like Jamie,just so you're aware you're
gonna get all kinds of stories.
Story is gonna lose any meaningfor you.
Yeah, people won't really knowwhat to say or how to say it.
(26:22):
You'll get some beautifulpositive messages and then some
horrible negative messages andthe fact that it was December
16th, close to Christmas, a lotof people tied in the holidays
and oh, what a horrible time forthis to happen.
And then over oh, you must havehad a horrible Christmas.
(26:43):
So I responded actually, no, wehad a great Christmas.
Yeah, a lot of stories andmemories of dad and went through
pictures and it was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
And that in itself can be exhausting.
I mean, you do try to keep apositive mindset because I mean,
what else can you do?
I'm sure you're like I was.
Every now and again you'regonna have a day where it's
really challenging.
We are human.
But at some point you do haveto say, look, give myself
permission to feel bad for alittle while and then I really
(27:15):
do need to focus on my nextmoves what am I in control of?
And really try to make the bestof it, truly to try to get
better, Because if you go downthat negative spiral just not
only making you feel worse butthe stress of it all you can
make yourself even sicker.
If you do that.
(27:37):
So for those who wannacommunicate with a friend who's
been diagnosed, just know thatthere's that part of the
conversation as well you have tojust be mindful of is it a
positive tone, is it a negativetone, and what type of impact is
that going to have on yourfriend?
Because they're probably notgonna have, at least for me.
(28:00):
I know I did not have thestrength to be positive for
myself and everybody else.
You know like I just I neededto be.
I had to muster up all thestrength.
I could just to remain positivefor me much less.
It's okay, you know, to friendsand family who didn't know how
(28:20):
to react to it.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, there's always so much to go around.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But yeah, I know.
So that was a big eye-openerfor me as well, jen.
And just something for ourlisteners to be aware of is pay
extra attention to yourmessaging, the words you use,
how you phrase it, and try tokeep it positive.
Again, I know everybody meanswell, that's right.
(28:48):
But a message coming through isvery positive.
We'll have a way more betterimpact than something with a
negative tone to it.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And again, if we're having a bad day and we get one
of those negative messages thatcould just set us spiraling even
more.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, and I love that you brought up the examples of.
You don't have to reply to this.
I just wanted to let you know A, b and C.
What a load off, because thenyou start feeling the pressure.
Okay, I've received 150messages, and do I really need
to?
Because I don't wanna be viewedas you know, someone who's not
(29:27):
responding, someone who's notappreciative of it.
But there's a lot of pressurewith that as well.
So I'm glad you brought up thatas an example, because I don't
think that many people thatmight not be something that they
think of you know right away toinclude in that message.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
If I step back a little bit, jen, to what we were
talking about, when you'regoing to your appointments as
I've been going on my ownbecause I'm again I feel like
I'm in a good mindset.
I'm aware of what's going on.
I plan, I prepare.
However, for a lot of people itcan be a lot.
One of my cousins who wasdiagnosed with breast cancer
(30:06):
she's good now.
As soon as she was my firstcall, when I got the diagnosis,
she said I'm gonna be yourcancer buddy, I'm coming to all
your appointments, just let meknow whatever you need.
I thought you're amazing, Ilove you.
This is what I called you.
But a friend of mine shared withme because her sister passed
away from cancer and she saidJamie, I went to every
(30:27):
appointment with my sister.
I took a notebook, I took allthe notes because it can be a
lot for the patient.
So I shared that with myparents when my dad was going
through everything.
I'm like mom, please go to asmany of dad's appointments as
they'll.
Let you go to take a notebook,take the notes, because it's a
(30:50):
lot of info and it can go in oneear out the other and at least
by taking the notes, you'll haveit to refer back to.
And at the end of everyappointment I always recap and
say, just to ensure I've goteverything now a high level
summary.
I don't recap every single word, but I just so.
(31:11):
This is what we've talked about, here's the next steps.
Have I understood everythingcorrectly?
And most of the doctors andnurses appreciate that, because
then they confirm yes, you knowwhat's going on, we're good to
go.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Talk about the importance of clear
communication with your medicalstaff.
That's a fantastic way to goabout it, just recapping toward
the end, because, I mean, younever know, you could have
misheard something or justmisunderstood something.
So it's so critical to be ableto have that clear communication
(31:50):
, and I like the idea of afriend if they're willing to go
with you, or a family member ifthey could keep notes for you,
because, you're right, you havea million things kind of
swirling around in your brainand there's a very good chance
you're not gonna hear something.
I mean, it's better than nonethat you're gonna mishear
something or just not understandsomething.
(32:12):
I'm a member of a group onTwitter that it's a bunch of
cancer survivors and we justkind of share with other cancer
patients what our journeys werelike, and it has kind of
developed into also a lot ofhumor in this space, so that you
(32:35):
have to be able to laugh everynow and again, and one of the
things that the labels that wecame up with for people who have
not gone through cancer yet wecall them cancer muggles, and so
it was like so what is yourfavorite thing that a cancer
muggle has said to you in yourjourney?
and it's really quite funny,some of the things that people
(32:57):
would say.
So can you think of anythingthat along your journey, things
that people have said that justkind of now that you think about
it, it makes you laugh, oryou're just like I cannot even
believe that they said that tome.
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Speaker 1 (33:55):
It would probably go back to some of those negative
messages that I was touching onand the tone and just me being
blown away thinking, wow, didyou really write that, hit send
and think you were doing me afavor?
(34:16):
Hey, hello.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah, maybe Let me send you positive vibes, because
apparently you need some.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Right, we respond back to you.
I have a couple of favorites.
These are kind of like way outthere responses that I got
because, like you, after alittle while I went ahead and
put it on social media.
This is what I'm going through,in case you hear it through the
grapevine and you're hearing itstraight from me.
I wanted others to just be ableto hear from me about the
(34:51):
journey, in case anybody elsewere to go through this.
Plus, my thing is communication, of course.
I was thinking how do Iincorporate this into what I do
on a daily basis?
Talking about communicationskills, one very good friend,
who was well-meaning, had askedme after I was diagnosed with
(35:14):
breast cancer what stage are you?
I was stage one.
You have stage zero, one, two,three and four.
I said I'm stage one.
She was like oh well, that'sgreat, that's like the good
cancer.
I was like whoa, the goodcancer.
(35:36):
What in the hell does that mean?
Okay, I'll remember that as Igo through my surgeries my 30
rounds of radiation and all ofthat.
That would be one for therecord books right there.
Those of you who are listening,don't try to equate anyone's
(35:57):
cancer.
If you think it's better thanor worse than anything else.
Just note, their journey ishard.
There's no such thing in theworld right now, especially when
you're in the throes of it.
Oh, you got the good cancer.
I had to laugh at that.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Funny enough, jen.
I can totally relate to thatbecause for the longest time I
kept forgetting to ask whatstage I was, because it was
always just brought up from thevery beginning.
This is a low-grade tumor,meaning that it's slow to spread
and or grow.
(36:36):
Yeah, when I share that with,oh well, that's good, I still
have cancer.
It's not good.
It's been growing inside me fortwo, three years.
So, no, right, yeah, so yeah,stage or low-grade.
Never say it's good.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
That's right, that's right, there's no such thing,
it's a cancerous cancer Anotherway you cut.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
It is just that it's just not necessarily a life
sentence anymore, depending onwhen you detect it, However,
still in a lower stage orlow-grade still not a good thing
.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, I mean you're still going to have to go
through the surgeries andwhatever that treatment plan is.
I decided I chose not to gothrough chemotherapy because,
after looking at the statisticsover the long run, I did this
with my oncologist and I waslike, well, the numbers really
aren't that different with chemoand the radiation versus no
(37:42):
chemo.
And I do the radiation.
So I was like I'm just going todo the radiation for now, had
the surgeries and the radiation,and I'm a numbers person when
it comes to that.
So I was like, well, theprobabilities, this is looking
pretty good.
So that was a choice that Imade, but it was still tough
(38:03):
Going through all of that.
I am thankful that I didn't haveto go through that step of
chemo, because I know so manypeople who have, and it just
wreaked havoc on their bodies.
But it was still difficultnonetheless.
But that does remind me also,there were several people who
came out of the woodwork with alot of advice on things I should
(38:28):
be doing or things that I couldbe doing.
So did you get any sage advicefrom people who have never been
through cancer?
But they had the answer for you.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yes, every little minor health issue that I've had
since then, everyone's got anopinion and oh, jamie, you
should try this, you should dothis.
Oh, when did you get yourmedical degree Right?
Again, I know everybody meanswell, I try to just absorb it.
Thank them.
Now, a lot of people did.
(39:00):
When I did share my news backin December 2021, what I wasn't
expecting.
What really overwhelmed me wasthe amount of private messages I
got back about people's ownpersonal journeys or their
family journeys and how theydealt with it.
And thank you, jamie, for beingbrave and sharing your story
(39:22):
and for really making patientadvocacy the focus of your
message.
Because, yeah, that's somethingthat a lot of people don't
understand that it's okay to askquestions, it's okay to ask
about your options.
They wanted me to startchemotherapy right away, in
(39:42):
December 2021.
And I said no.
I said my birthday is inDecember, it's Christmas, it's
going to be my last holidayseason with my dad and, don't
forget, I've got the criticalillness policy.
Part of that is the secondopinion report, so I would like
to go through that before I makeany decisions about treatment.
(40:02):
Thank God I did the secondopinion report.
It was sent down to Dr NorthCarolina.
He confirmed the diagnosisslightly different term.
I got a 28 page report back.
Thank God I read it twicebecause the second time through
before a follow up appointmentwith the oncologist.
(40:24):
There was one line in thereabout how chemotherapy typically
has little to no impact on myparticular diagnosis because
it's a low grade tumor.
So I went to my follow upmeetings, asked my oncologist
about that, asked the generalsurgeon about that.
Oh yeah, we agree with that.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh my God, and you didn't think to tell me this
yeah, we're going to talk aboutthis, while you were encouraging
me to go ahead and start thechemo.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah.
So I've held off on chemo andinstead I've been working with a
naturopathic doctor doingvitamin CIV.
Because apparently cancer cellscan't handle high doses of
vitamin C, I switched up my diet, became vegan back in October
21, because plant-based diethelps you to have your system to
(41:20):
be more alkaline.
An alkaline system again helpsto fight off the cancer cells
and or prevent it from spreading, whereas an acidic system is a
breeding ground for cancer togrow and spread.
And through doing all this I dowhat's called observations.
(41:40):
So every 90 days I go in foranother CT scan of blood work
and the cancer has mostly beencontained, Again because it's
low grade, not rapidly growingor spreading.
So again, it's just reallyimportant to ask a lot of
questions, understand all youroptions so that you can make the
(42:00):
best choice for yourself.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, it is.
It's a great thing that youinsisted on that second opinion.
I mean, can you imagine?
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Yeah, and the fact that something made me read the
report again and I cut that oneline in a 28-page report.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Like Dad was watching over me and made sure I caught
it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Yeah yeah you really do have to take the initiative
and do all the reading and askall the questions and just do
some research so you know whatkind of questions to ask.
You know that's another aspectof it.
Sometimes we just don't evenknow the questions to ask when
we're sitting there.
But to be able to insist onthat second opinion, take the
(42:47):
initiative to do all of thatreading and to make sure that
you understood what all of itwas saying, I mean, that is a
huge, huge piece of being ableto just, even though you're not
100% in control of what'shappening to you, you know there
are some decisions that you canmake based on the information
(43:07):
you're given, and so you reallywant as complete of a picture as
possible so that you can makethat decision for yourself.
I can't emphasize that enough,because I did the same thing
after looking at the numbers andhaving a bunch of conversations
with different doctors, andthen I felt I felt confident,
you know, in that decision.
(43:29):
I know a lot of women who havethe exact same stage breast
cancer that I had and they chosea different path.
They decided to do thechemotherapy and they went down
a much more.
You know, to me I don't want touse the word scary, but that
was concerning to me, you know,I just didn't see the benefit of
(43:51):
going down that path.
So just to have a completepicture, you know, is critical
at that moment in time.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
So yeah, but you're not yeah, that's just it I said
to them.
I said I already have aweakened immune system.
I don't want to be pumpingpoison into, just to prove you
all right.
If you don't think, it'll havemuch of an impact.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
That's right.
So I had a big decision to make.
You know, I remember when I wasdiagnosed I had gone to get a
mammogram and it was a.
It was a follow up mammogrambecause the first one came back
questionable.
So like, okay, come back inlike about six months and we'll
do another one.
And so I got the scans done.
I went home a couple of dayslater I got a notification that
(44:39):
you know, on my chart, the app,the scans were in, and I didn't
think anything of it.
This is what I did every singletime.
I looked at the scans and I'mreading it and there were.
There was language in there Ididn't understand.
I called the doctor's office andthe poor woman who answered the
phone I said hey, I just I gotmy scans back and there are a
(45:02):
couple of questions I have.
Is the doctor available?
And she's like well, he is here, but what kind of questions do
you have?
And maybe I can, you know, justrelay it to him because he's
getting a bunch of patientstoday.
I said, well, I'm just notfamiliar with you know, what
does Carson Noma mean?
That's the first time I've everseen this.
And she got really quiet andshe was like hold please.
(45:23):
And then my doctor got on thephone and then that's when we
have that.
He explained it to me.
So that's how I found out wasjust because I was digging into
my own files and asking thequestions.
But better to be informeduninformed, I guess.
Make the phone call explain itto you, rather than wait until I
(45:45):
don't.
Who knows when he would havegotten back to me.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Yeah, like things slips through the cracks and
most hospitals or clinics haveapps now.
So, yeah, it's important tocreate profiles so you know when
all your tests come back andyou can proactively follow up if
you're not hearing back fromthem in reasonable moment of
time.
And, yes, some of likeobviously the healthcare system,
(46:13):
all of the jargon that is used.
Yeah, I read the reports andthen I'm like, okay, can I get
this in English right?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Let me open up my medical dictionary as I'm
reading through this report.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I'm not going to copy pastes into Google and
translate from medical toEnglish just yet.
Yeah yeah, I need some help.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Did you keep everything like in a three ring
binder?
Because I have one of those.
I have a three ring binder thateven to this day I just kept
everything in it and it actuallywas a good thing, because I
have an aunt who was recentlydiagnosed with cancer and her
doctor asked her because shetold him you know my history and
he asked her if I had agenetics test and I did and I
(47:02):
was able to go back into mythree ring binder and finally
found it.
You know, after remembering,because I asked all of my
doctors if they had a copy of it, nobody in the hospital could
find a copy of my genetics testbecause I guess they changed
over owns the hospital now andthings slipped through the
(47:24):
cracks and you know, forwhatever reason, they didn't
have it.
But thank God I have that threering binder that I kept a hard
copy of everything in because Iwas able to find my genetic, my
genetics test, just the otherday.
Do you, do you have your, your,your binder at the ready for
such occasions?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
I have a digital binder.
So again, between the app andonline, I'll log in on my laptop
Every time I get reports backand save it as a PDF into my
health folder on my laptop andjust back up my laptop.
So yes, it should be thereforever.
(48:05):
But, to your point, ifsomething happens or the upgrade
change, systems, informationgets lost.
I've got everything saved.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Yeah, I tell you this is turning into a how to type
of episode.
So what do you do if you getdiagnosed?
You know we have all kinds ofgreat advice here.
I'm going to say if your friendgets diagnosed, I think we have
all kinds of wonderful goldennuggets for anyone who is up,
(48:35):
because it's not an easy thingFor anybody.
This is not easy to deal with.
I do know that we're startingto run short on time.
I mean, we've already beentalking for almost 50 minutes
now, which is insane to mebecause this is gone by really,
really fast.
I want to go ahead and wrap upthis episode, but before I do so
(48:57):
, what's the thing that youwould want to say to our
listeners?
Any parting words of wisdom ormotivation that you would want
to share with them?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
My top tips, jen, are it's really important to
maintain a positive mindset and,as we've discussed, I realize
that can be harder some daysthan others.
But be thankful every day thatyou wake up and try to only
worry about what you can control, because if you focus on
(49:28):
everything that you can't, thatwill just drive you bonkers.
And the other most importantthing that has worked for me, I
would say, is the whole patientadvocacy part being organized
asking lots of questions,prepping for every appointment,
(49:49):
no, and making notes.
Like every doctor who comes in.
I'm like sorry, what was yourname again?
And they always show me theirphoto ID so I can grab their
name.
So I make a note of everydoctor I meet and talk to you.
Normally it's multiple doctorsbecause the hospital I'm dealing
with is a teaching hospital, soI just grab everybody's name,
(50:14):
lots of notes and, again, alwaysask questions and if you're not
sure about your options or thetest that will run, why they
will run the outcomes, askquestions.
You're the patient you've gotthe right to know.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Absolutely Fantastic advice.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Ask and take control, nobody else will.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
That's right, that is 100% correct right there.
So don't be afraid, don't beafraid to take control.
Well, jamie, this has beenabsolutely wonderful.
I'm so happy to see you and tobe able to have another
conversation with you and, youknow, I'm just so happy that you
look like you're doing well.
It seems like you know you'rejust you're not just hanging in
(50:59):
there, you are actually activelydoing what you can, focusing on
the things that you can control, and eating healthy and and
you're.
Are you still working out?
Are you still going to the gym?
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Lighter dumbbells and still working at home.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Thank goodness for the Peloton app.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
So my native Friday I do my strength classes and then
I hop on the bike a coupletimes.
Yeah, that is another thingthat really helps me with
mindset and gives me positiveand focused and gives me energy
to keep going.
Yeah so find something that youlove, that's important to you,
that you can focus on and do.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
That's right.
That's right and bring some joyin the midst of that storm.
Got to be able to reach forthat.
All right, friend.
Thanks again.
Wonderful seeing you, and Iwill be seeing you again because
we'll have round two down theroad and then we'll have some
conversations about financialplanning and what do those
(52:03):
conversations need to sound like?
You know, amongst familymembers, because very, very
important thing to have aconversation about.
All right, everyone.
I hope that you found thisepisode to be useful.
You know it's not an easyconversation to have, it's not a
fun topic to explore, butunfortunately it is a reality of
(52:26):
life and we know so many peoplewho have been diagnosed with
cancer and many survivors andmany who are actually actively
going through their diagnosisright now.
So be blessed and, like Jamiesaid, when you wake up, be happy
.
You have another day and try tomake the best of it.
That's all we can do.
(52:47):
All right, everyone, take careof yourselves and we'll see you
next time.
Bye, thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andyou'd like to help support the
podcast, please share it withothers, post about it on social
(53:08):
media or leave a rating and areview.
Welcome to the Communication 24-7 podcast,
where we communicate about howwe communicate.
I'm your host, jennifer Furlong.
Jamie, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I'm good, jen, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
So good to see you, my friend.
I have been so excited to havethis conversation with you To
the listeners.
I want you to know howincredibly important this
conversation is about to be.
If you have not been personallyimpacted by this topic we're
going to discuss today, chancesare you will be impacted by it
(00:56):
at some point.
Today's conversation is goingto center on cancer and having
cancer conversations.
Jamie Madigan is a friend ofmine.
He lives in Toronto, Canada.
We met through a couple ofonline groups that we were both
members of.
I just really enjoyed havingconversations with him.
(01:18):
Both of us have had cancerjourneys.
I've asked Jamie to be on theshow because I think we both
agree that once you're diagnosed, you end up having a lot of
interesting conversations withfriends and family, Some of it
(01:39):
positive, some of it challenging.
He's been so gracious to agreeto have this conversation with
me.
So listeners stay tuned becausethere's going to be so much
coming out of this conversation.
So again, Jamie, thank you forbeing on the show.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you for agreeing to havethis conversation with me,
(02:02):
because I know it's not an easyconversation, but it's important
.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, no, exactly, jen.
I couldn't agree more.
That's why I'm here today.
That's why I'm also excited forthe conversation and, just
having gone through all of theissues that I know between my
dad and them myself, I'velearned all about the importance
of communication, patientadvocacy.
(02:27):
So I'm excited to discuss thatin greater detail today and
share that with the audience.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You are a financial planner bytrade and so that's going to be
just so everybody knows we aregoing to have you back again.
We will have that conversationseparately, because that's also
an important topic to discuss.
But to get everybody caught upon what has been happening with
(02:54):
you and your cancer journey, doyou mind just sharing with the
listeners what happened?
How did you find out about yourcancer diagnosis?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Sure, so I'll try to give you the high level
executive summary, but this goesback to April 2021.
And, of course, covid is stillhappening.
I can't remember if we were inlockdown at a lockdown it's all
a blur back then.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think we were still in lockdown.
I think we were still right inthe middle of it.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I think so and, for starters, I don't have a family
doctor.
I haven't had one since 2018,when the walking clinic I was
going to closed and I didn'tdiscover, probably about a year
after they closed, that they hadclosed.
So I thought, oh, I guesshealth has been good, I haven't
(03:53):
needed them.
But yeah, in April 2021, funnyenough, it was a Saturday
afternoon, I remember it vividlygot out of the shower,
discovered a lump in my groin,which naturally should not be
there.
That's not normal.
Then I thought to myself okay,what do I do?
(04:13):
I haven't been able to find afamily doctor.
I haven't been able to find awalking clinic in the area that
I like.
Oddly enough, I was on my phoneand I think it was likely on a
social media app and I got a popup about Tell Us Health, an app
(04:34):
that you can download forvirtual appointments.
So I thought, okay, this is asign.
I hope, downloaded the app,created my profile and I had an
appointment that afternoon, Ithink, even within a half hour.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, better than nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, it was still relatively new.
So I had virtual appointmentover the phone with the video
explained about the lump, andthey said, okay, well, we'll
send you for imaging and I wentahead and ultrasound done at a
nearby lab.
When I got there I told thetechnician, I said I understand,
(05:15):
like they said, to doultrasound on the lump, and I
was ready to go all around seeif there's anything else in the
area.
And then of course she juststicks to the limited area and I
thought, oh God, somethingmight be missed.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Don't go above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, let's not go the extra mile, that's right.
But yeah, and then within aweek I had a follow up
appointment and was told oh,it's likely just a mass, don't
worry about it, it should goaway three to four months.
If it doesn't, or if it getsbigger, call us back and let us
(05:56):
know.
That was a Tuesday, I think,and then by Friday it just
wasn't sitting right with me and, oddly enough, I was talking to
a mastermind group on Fridaymorning and we got onto the
topic of GPs, doctors and thefact that family doctors know a
(06:18):
little bit, a lot, but notreally specialists.
So I thought, okay, here'sanother sign.
I can't wait three to fourmonths and just hope this goes
away.
I don't think it's just a mass.
So I booked in anotherappointment and said, look, it's
getting bigger.
What's the next step?
(06:39):
So I need a referral to aspecialist.
Well then, it was a referral toa urologist, thinking that it
could be a hernia.
They've referred me to oneurologist who I guess had a
massive backlog.
So after a while I said, look,I live in downtown Toronto.
(07:00):
If this guy is the best, I canwait, but I gotta believe that
there's other urologists I cango see and, again, I can walk,
drive.
It doesn't have to be downtown.
I wanna get this taken care ofsooner rather than later.
So eventually they've referredme to someone else and I was
(07:21):
able to get in to see him ratherquickly.
Right away he confirmed he'slike I'm glad you pushed, this
isn't a mass.
I think it's a hernia.
I can't confirm that though, soI'll refer you to a general
surgeon who can confirm that.
So he referred me to generalsurgeon at St Mike's, the local
(07:42):
hospital, and in the meantime Ialso had imaging done at the
hospital.
So we did an ultrasound, a CTscan and blood work and I
finally got in.
So I saw him in June, finallygot in to see the general
surgeon in August.
She was impressed at all thetests that he had run and
(08:03):
commented thank God he ran thosetests because in looking
through them this is much morethan just a hernia.
There's a team that deals withthis at Mount Sinai, another
local hospital in downtownToronto.
Fortunately, one of theadvantages of living in downtown
Toronto is I could walk to allthese hospitals.
(08:25):
So I got in to see them inOctober, did some more imaging
tests, blood tests.
They had an inkling that it waslikely cancer, did a biopsy end
of October and then early tomid-November it was confirmed
that it was cancer and, ofcourse, apparently a unique form
(08:48):
.
I'm like, okay, I did not wantto be special and unique in this
area and at the time I was only44.
So not something I expected.
My dad and three of my uncleshave had prostate cancer all
later on in life, so I figuredprobably in my 60s I'd be
(09:11):
hearing that diagnosis.
But at 44, that was notsomething I expected.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I was also 44 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer
, and you're right, we feel soyoung.
It's like wait a minute.
This is not normal, and so itsounds like it was what a good
four, five, six months betweenyou discovering it and then it
finally being diagnosed.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
From April to November.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Wow, wow, so let's-.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Only because I kept pushing.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Thanks God it was three to four months or it would
have been likely a year.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
So, that really underscores theimportance of being your own
advocate, just being willing topush it when you feel like you
need to push it.
So how were you able to I don'tknow if the right word is have
the strength, or maybe just theperseverance, to do that,
(10:16):
because it's very easy to getfrustrated with the system?
Now I live in the United Statesand you're in Canada.
We know that the entire medicalindustry is completely
different between the twocountries, but the frustration
is there, no matter what,because we have to wait a fair
(10:37):
amount of time or the same thing.
You'll have a doctor that justdoesn't think it's anything
serious.
So what did you do to perseverethrough that?
So many people give up.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, no, that's a great question, jen, and for me
it was just wanting to know andgetting answers, because I try
to always maintain a positivemindset and focus on what I can
control.
I was in the best shape of mylife eating healthy, working out
every day, so that was theother thing I might get.
(11:14):
No, this can't be happening.
This is the best I've ever been.
So, yeah, I just kept pushingfor answers and then, when I
finally was diagnosed, my firstquestion to my oncologist and
general surgeon was would youconsider this to be life
threatening cancer?
(11:35):
And they both gave me thisweird luck Like, why, like, yes,
why do you ask?
Nobody's ever asked us thatbefore.
I said well, remember, I'm acertified financial planner,
I've got a critical illnesspolicy.
If this is life threateningcancer, I should be able to make
a claim and, depending ontreatment, if I have to take
(11:58):
time off work, I'm 100%commission, so the claim could
be huge.
So, yeah, I was able to getthem to complete the paperwork
for me, submitted the claim andwithin eight business days of
submitting the claim, I receiveda check in the mail.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wow, that's a big lesson learned right there for
our listeners.
Really look into that, becauseI know we have critical health
insurance as well.
I had that as well when I wasdiagnosed and it was a huge help
.
So if you're a listener and youdon't know what that is, I
really encourage you to lookinto that, because neither one
(12:39):
of us planned for it, you know,but it happens and, jamie, you
know you were in the shape ofyour life running and working
out and eating healthy and sothat kind of busts, you know
that myth that hey cancer is.
You know it's connected to,although there are some
(12:59):
correlations, but you knowanybody can get it.
Anybody can get diagnosed withit.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, and the more I've researched it, Jen, and
looked into it, cancer is justreally our own cells turning
against us.
So, as much as people thinkit's genetic, genetics really
only plays a small role in it'sreally all about our diet,
nutrition and environment thatreally impacts whether or not we
(13:29):
get it and how severe it is.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, so I imagine that was just a huge surprise
for you.
I think it's a huge surprisefor anybody when you hear that
diagnosis.
So after you were diagnosedthis is a conversation I have
with a lot of cancer patientsOnce you're diagnosed, how
people treat you like friendsand family, or the types of
(13:53):
conversations that you have didyou feel that you were well
supported?
You know at the beginning whatwere those conversations like
with your friends and family andI'll share what mine was like,
but I'm curious about yourexperience with that.
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Speaker 1 (15:00):
Sure.
So while I was going through allthis from April to November, I
really only two friends of mineknew I didn't tell my family
because my dad was dealing withhis own health issues and in
September or October he wasgiven three to six months to
(15:21):
live.
So I didn't want to be worryingmy family without knowing for
sure what I was dealing with,because we were already dealing
with enough with my dad.
So I can't thank my two friendsenough for being there to
support me, checking in on me.
Unfortunately, even with theweights that I've had, everyone
(15:49):
that I've dealt with has beenamazing.
So that is the plus side, thatand given everything like the
healthcare industry has beenthrough with COVID, as you know,
like they are overworked, theyare going through so much.
So the fact that I feel likeI've been treated well, not a
(16:12):
number, I'm not rushed.
I showed up with lots ofquestions, I'm very detail
oriented and they always taketheir time with me, answer all
of my questions, I don't feelrushed, but I'm sure the fact
that I show up organized, with aplan and knowing like dates,
times, who I've met with, whenmy tests, everything, Did you
(16:36):
have a notebook with you so youcould keep track of everything?
It's all on my phone.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Oh, okay, good, oh good, good idea.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
So I keep.
Yeah, I just have a bunch ofnotes on my phone so it's always
with me and I make it known atthe start of every meeting.
Every time I meet with somebodynew I say just so you know, I'm
taking notes on my phone.
I'm not texting friends orfamily and that usually gets a
laugh, but I want them to beaware that I'm taking control of
(17:07):
my health and every time I'veshown anybody the notes, they're
always impressed at howdetailed they are.
But that really goes back to mycareer as well.
From audit and compliancepurposes I've got to be very
structured detail everyconversation I have with my
client, everything that we'redoing.
(17:28):
So that has been instilled withme for over 20 years now.
So naturally I applied thatboth to my dad's health when I
was advocating for him and nowto mine when I was advocating
for me.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
So there are really two important points I want to
highlight here.
Number one the communicationyou're having with your doctors.
I did the same thing, but I hada notebook that I would bring
in because I would want to handwrite and scribble and all of
that.
But it's really helpful for youto be able to keep track of
that, because when you arestressed out and you're in the
(18:07):
doctor's office and if you don'thave your questions written
down, you'll probably forgetwhat they were.
So it really helped me to havethose questions figured out
ahead of time so I could walk inthere with my little notebook
and remember oh yeah, this iswhat I was gonna ask and then,
by scribbling down their answers, it was also a way to track our
(18:27):
conversations, because you endup having so many different
doctors that you have to see itcan easily get jumbled up in the
brain.
So that's such a fantasticpiece of advice for anyone who
ends up going through thisexperience.
That's a great communicationtool to have.
The second thing I wanted tohighlight you had mentioned that
(18:51):
at that time you hadn't talkedto your family about the
diagnosis because they weregoing through another serious
issue with your dad.
But your friends were key inhelping you along.
So, from that perspective, whatdid your friends say or what
(19:12):
did they do to really help youin that time of need?
Like I said, if we have notbeen impacted by it ourselves,
likely we're gonna know someonewho is diagnosed with some form
of cancer.
So what type of advice wouldyou give our listeners on how to
be that good friend?
What were those conversationslike?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Honestly, jenna was just checking in on me offering
to go to any of my appointmentsif I wanted support and just
saying how are you, do you wannado something?
Let's get together, get yourmind off things.
So that's what I appreciated,and especially again during
(19:57):
COVID.
And I got a new appreciationfor I learned to really were my
friends and who would check upon me and I'd also check up on
them and who I never heard from.
So yeah, just the checking inand offering support, that is
(20:17):
what really did it for me.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, it can be a really lonely journey if you
don't have anyone checking in onyou.
So if you do have friends whoare offering that, don't turn
them away.
Just accept the love when it isoffered and just allow them to
be there for you.
I interviewed this was lastyear I interviewed an HR
(20:43):
director and she had shared withme her husband had passed away
from cancer and as an HRdirector, it made her realize
that there were so many peoplein the workplace that just were
not prepared, especiallymanagers.
They just weren't prepared.
How do they handle this?
How do they manage employeeswho have been diagnosed with
(21:05):
cancer or they have a loved onewho is diagnosed with cancer?
And one of the things sheshared with me that she found
was incredibly helpful was whenher friends were as specific as
possible with what they wereable to do, and so a piece of
advice, she said, is if you'reable to go to the grocery store,
offer to go into the grocerystore.
(21:26):
If you're able to watch theirkid, if they're a parent, offer.
That, she said because the morespecific you can get, the more
that they are likely to acceptthat offer.
Because it can be a littledifficult to say hey, just tell
me what you need, becausesometimes we don't even know
what we need In that moment intime.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's just it.
And I feel fortunate because ithasn't really impacted my
lifestyle yet, or at least notseverely.
I've still been able to work,which has been huge.
But, yeah, I've had a lot ofoffers that if you need anything
, if we can do a grocery run foryou, let us know.
(22:10):
So, yeah, just even thoselittle things.
I kind of feel bad.
I'm like no, I'm fine, like Ican walk to get my groceries or
drive to get my groceries.
I'm not in bed, I'm stillliving.
But yeah, just those littleoffers are appreciated and I
shared it eventually.
I shared it on social media inDecember and just did some
(22:35):
public posts because I'm like,rather than have this
conversation over over over, I'mjust gonna blast it out to
everyone.
And then, yeah, I foundactually one of my friends
reached out and I didn't knowthat he had been diagnosed with
cancer years back and he gave mea headset.
He's like, hey, you probablydon't know this, but I have
(22:56):
cancer, I've recovered.
He's like I'm here for youwhatever you need, but just so
you're aware.
He's like people will reach outto you because you've posted
this, but they're scared, theydon't know what to say and don't
be surprised if nobody followsup and you don't hear from a lot
(23:16):
of them again, because theyjust don't know what to do or
say.
And now they're scared for you.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And it's okay from a communication standpoint, if
you're a friend or even a familymember.
If you don't know what to say,it's okay to say that.
I mean, I completely understandthat.
I mean it just, yeah, thissucks, right.
I don't know what to say exceptfor this sucks and that's it.
I'm here for you, but I justdon't know what else to say
(23:51):
because, it's true, I mean, nomatter what they say, it's
really not going to, at the endof the day, make it better.
You still have to go throughyour treatments, you're still
having to deal with somethingthat they're not having to deal
with.
So I think, just being honestand just showing that you want
to offer some support, but ifyou don't know how, then there's
(24:12):
nothing wrong with saying thatand I'm glad your friend said
that to you.
Was that helpful to you?
Like, was that a way to helpyou just feel better about those
who kind of disappeared afteryou made the announcement?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, no, it was perfect because it was an
eye-opener for me, somethingthat I wasn't aware, I've never
thought of, and sure enough, ithappened.
So when it happened, I thought,okay, well, this is exactly
what he warned me about, what hesaid again, for anyone who's
listening, it's okay just to say, like even some messages I got
(24:48):
Jamie, no need to respond justwanted you to know that I'm
thinking of you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Or sending you positive vibes or praying for
you and all those little things.
It warms the heart, it makes mefeel good.
And the few people that said noneed to respond.
I'm like, okay, you get it thatmaybe I don't wanna respond
right away or I don't know howto respond based on the message
(25:19):
Right.
And then I did learn between mydad passing away and me sharing
my diagnosis, becauseunfortunately it all happened in
the same week, in December, andI thought, oh wow, how am I
gonna top this messaging?
I know that people mean well,but some of the messages just
had such a negative tone, oh, nothat.
(25:41):
Oh my God, jamie, this is sohorrible.
I can't believe you're havingto go.
And I'm like, how or why wouldI respond to this, especially
the fact that I'm so positive?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, it's all about mindset.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, so that was a good wake up call from me.
And another friend had alsogiven me a heads up when my dad
passed, because he lost his dadjust a few weeks before me.
Same thing he's like Jamie,just so you're aware you're
gonna get all kinds of stories.
Story is gonna lose any meaningfor you.
Yeah, people won't really knowwhat to say or how to say it.
(26:22):
You'll get some beautifulpositive messages and then some
horrible negative messages andthe fact that it was December
16th, close to Christmas, a lotof people tied in the holidays
and oh, what a horrible time forthis to happen.
And then over oh, you must havehad a horrible Christmas.
(26:43):
So I responded actually, no, wehad a great Christmas.
Yeah, a lot of stories andmemories of dad and went through
pictures and it was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
And that in itself can be exhausting.
I mean, you do try to keep apositive mindset because I mean,
what else can you do?
I'm sure you're like I was.
Every now and again you'regonna have a day where it's
really challenging.
We are human.
But at some point you do haveto say, look, give myself
permission to feel bad for alittle while and then I really
(27:15):
do need to focus on my nextmoves what am I in control of?
And really try to make the bestof it, truly to try to get
better, Because if you go downthat negative spiral just not
only making you feel worse butthe stress of it all you can
make yourself even sicker.
If you do that.
(27:37):
So for those who wannacommunicate with a friend who's
been diagnosed, just know thatthere's that part of the
conversation as well you have tojust be mindful of is it a
positive tone, is it a negativetone, and what type of impact is
that going to have on yourfriend?
Because they're probably notgonna have, at least for me.
(28:00):
I know I did not have thestrength to be positive for
myself and everybody else.
You know like I just I neededto be.
I had to muster up all thestrength.
I could just to remain positivefor me much less.
It's okay, you know, to friendsand family who didn't know how
(28:20):
to react to it.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, there's always so much to go around.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But yeah, I know.
So that was a big eye-openerfor me as well, jen.
And just something for ourlisteners to be aware of is pay
extra attention to yourmessaging, the words you use,
how you phrase it, and try tokeep it positive.
Again, I know everybody meanswell, that's right.
(28:48):
But a message coming through isvery positive.
We'll have a way more betterimpact than something with a
negative tone to it.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And again, if we're having a bad day and we get one
of those negative messages thatcould just set us spiraling even
more.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, and I love that you brought up the examples of.
You don't have to reply to this.
I just wanted to let you know A, b and C.
What a load off, because thenyou start feeling the pressure.
Okay, I've received 150messages, and do I really need
to?
Because I don't wanna be viewedas you know, someone who's not
(29:27):
responding, someone who's notappreciative of it.
But there's a lot of pressurewith that as well.
So I'm glad you brought up thatas an example, because I don't
think that many people thatmight not be something that they
think of you know right away toinclude in that message.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
If I step back a little bit, jen, to what we were
talking about, when you'regoing to your appointments as
I've been going on my ownbecause I'm again I feel like
I'm in a good mindset.
I'm aware of what's going on.
I plan, I prepare.
However, for a lot of people itcan be a lot.
One of my cousins who wasdiagnosed with breast cancer
(30:06):
she's good now.
As soon as she was my firstcall, when I got the diagnosis,
she said I'm gonna be yourcancer buddy, I'm coming to all
your appointments, just let meknow whatever you need.
I thought you're amazing, Ilove you.
This is what I called you.
But a friend of mine shared withme because her sister passed
away from cancer and she saidJamie, I went to every
(30:27):
appointment with my sister.
I took a notebook, I took allthe notes because it can be a
lot for the patient.
So I shared that with myparents when my dad was going
through everything.
I'm like mom, please go to asmany of dad's appointments as
they'll.
Let you go to take a notebook,take the notes, because it's a
(30:50):
lot of info and it can go in oneear out the other and at least
by taking the notes, you'll haveit to refer back to.
And at the end of everyappointment I always recap and
say, just to ensure I've goteverything now a high level
summary.
I don't recap every single word, but I just so.
(31:11):
This is what we've talked about, here's the next steps.
Have I understood everythingcorrectly?
And most of the doctors andnurses appreciate that, because
then they confirm yes, you knowwhat's going on, we're good to
go.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Talk about the importance of clear
communication with your medicalstaff.
That's a fantastic way to goabout it, just recapping toward
the end, because, I mean, younever know, you could have
misheard something or justmisunderstood something.
So it's so critical to be ableto have that clear communication
(31:50):
, and I like the idea of afriend if they're willing to go
with you, or a family member ifthey could keep notes for you,
because, you're right, you havea million things kind of
swirling around in your brainand there's a very good chance
you're not gonna hear something.
I mean, it's better than nonethat you're gonna mishear
something or just not understandsomething.
(32:12):
I'm a member of a group onTwitter that it's a bunch of
cancer survivors and we justkind of share with other cancer
patients what our journeys werelike, and it has kind of
developed into also a lot ofhumor in this space, so that you
(32:35):
have to be able to laugh everynow and again, and one of the
things that the labels that wecame up with for people who have
not gone through cancer yet wecall them cancer muggles, and so
it was like so what is yourfavorite thing that a cancer
muggle has said to you in yourjourney?
and it's really quite funny,some of the things that people
(32:57):
would say.
So can you think of anythingthat along your journey, things
that people have said that justkind of now that you think about
it, it makes you laugh, oryou're just like I cannot even
believe that they said that tome.
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Speaker 1 (33:55):
It would probably go back to some of those negative
messages that I was touching onand the tone and just me being
blown away thinking, wow, didyou really write that, hit send
and think you were doing me afavor?
(34:16):
Hey, hello.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah, maybe Let me send you positive vibes, because
apparently you need some.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Right, we respond back to you.
I have a couple of favorites.
These are kind of like way outthere responses that I got
because, like you, after alittle while I went ahead and
put it on social media.
This is what I'm going through,in case you hear it through the
grapevine and you're hearing itstraight from me.
I wanted others to just be ableto hear from me about the
(34:51):
journey, in case anybody elsewere to go through this.
Plus, my thing is communication, of course.
I was thinking how do Iincorporate this into what I do
on a daily basis?
Talking about communicationskills, one very good friend,
who was well-meaning, had askedme after I was diagnosed with
(35:14):
breast cancer what stage are you?
I was stage one.
You have stage zero, one, two,three and four.
I said I'm stage one.
She was like oh well, that'sgreat, that's like the good
cancer.
I was like whoa, the goodcancer.
(35:36):
What in the hell does that mean?
Okay, I'll remember that as Igo through my surgeries my 30
rounds of radiation and all ofthat.
That would be one for therecord books right there.
Those of you who are listening,don't try to equate anyone's
(35:57):
cancer.
If you think it's better thanor worse than anything else.
Just note, their journey ishard.
There's no such thing in theworld right now, especially when
you're in the throes of it.
Oh, you got the good cancer.
I had to laugh at that.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Funny enough, jen.
I can totally relate to thatbecause for the longest time I
kept forgetting to ask whatstage I was, because it was
always just brought up from thevery beginning.
This is a low-grade tumor,meaning that it's slow to spread
and or grow.
(36:36):
Yeah, when I share that with,oh well, that's good, I still
have cancer.
It's not good.
It's been growing inside me fortwo, three years.
So, no, right, yeah, so yeah,stage or low-grade.
Never say it's good.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
That's right, that's right, there's no such thing,
it's a cancerous cancer Anotherway you cut.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
It is just that it's just not necessarily a life
sentence anymore, depending onwhen you detect it, However,
still in a lower stage orlow-grade still not a good thing
.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, I mean you're still going to have to go
through the surgeries andwhatever that treatment plan is.
I decided I chose not to gothrough chemotherapy because,
after looking at the statisticsover the long run, I did this
with my oncologist and I waslike, well, the numbers really
aren't that different with chemoand the radiation versus no
(37:42):
chemo.
And I do the radiation.
So I was like I'm just going todo the radiation for now, had
the surgeries and the radiation,and I'm a numbers person when
it comes to that.
So I was like, well, theprobabilities, this is looking
pretty good.
So that was a choice that Imade, but it was still tough
(38:03):
Going through all of that.
I am thankful that I didn't haveto go through that step of
chemo, because I know so manypeople who have, and it just
wreaked havoc on their bodies.
But it was still difficultnonetheless.
But that does remind me also,there were several people who
came out of the woodwork with alot of advice on things I should
(38:28):
be doing or things that I couldbe doing.
So did you get any sage advicefrom people who have never been
through cancer?
But they had the answer for you.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yes, every little minor health issue that I've had
since then, everyone's got anopinion and oh, jamie, you
should try this, you should dothis.
Oh, when did you get yourmedical degree Right?
Again, I know everybody meanswell, I try to just absorb it.
Thank them.
Now, a lot of people did.
(39:00):
When I did share my news backin December 2021, what I wasn't
expecting.
What really overwhelmed me wasthe amount of private messages I
got back about people's ownpersonal journeys or their
family journeys and how theydealt with it.
And thank you, jamie, for beingbrave and sharing your story
(39:22):
and for really making patientadvocacy the focus of your
message.
Because, yeah, that's somethingthat a lot of people don't
understand that it's okay to askquestions, it's okay to ask
about your options.
They wanted me to startchemotherapy right away, in
(39:42):
December 2021.
And I said no.
I said my birthday is inDecember, it's Christmas, it's
going to be my last holidayseason with my dad and, don't
forget, I've got the criticalillness policy.
Part of that is the secondopinion report, so I would like
to go through that before I makeany decisions about treatment.
(40:02):
Thank God I did the secondopinion report.
It was sent down to Dr NorthCarolina.
He confirmed the diagnosisslightly different term.
I got a 28 page report back.
Thank God I read it twicebecause the second time through
before a follow up appointmentwith the oncologist.
(40:24):
There was one line in thereabout how chemotherapy typically
has little to no impact on myparticular diagnosis because
it's a low grade tumor.
So I went to my follow upmeetings, asked my oncologist
about that, asked the generalsurgeon about that.
Oh yeah, we agree with that.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh my God, and you didn't think to tell me this
yeah, we're going to talk aboutthis, while you were encouraging
me to go ahead and start thechemo.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah.
So I've held off on chemo andinstead I've been working with a
naturopathic doctor doingvitamin CIV.
Because apparently cancer cellscan't handle high doses of
vitamin C, I switched up my diet, became vegan back in October
21, because plant-based diethelps you to have your system to
(41:20):
be more alkaline.
An alkaline system again helpsto fight off the cancer cells
and or prevent it from spreading, whereas an acidic system is a
breeding ground for cancer togrow and spread.
And through doing all this I dowhat's called observations.
(41:40):
So every 90 days I go in foranother CT scan of blood work
and the cancer has mostly beencontained, Again because it's
low grade, not rapidly growingor spreading.
So again, it's just reallyimportant to ask a lot of
questions, understand all youroptions so that you can make the
(42:00):
best choice for yourself.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, it is.
It's a great thing that youinsisted on that second opinion.
I mean, can you imagine?
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Yeah, and the fact that something made me read the
report again and I cut that oneline in a 28-page report.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Like Dad was watching over me and made sure I caught
it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Yeah yeah you really do have to take the initiative
and do all the reading and askall the questions and just do
some research so you know whatkind of questions to ask.
You know that's another aspectof it.
Sometimes we just don't evenknow the questions to ask when
we're sitting there.
But to be able to insist onthat second opinion, take the
(42:47):
initiative to do all of thatreading and to make sure that
you understood what all of itwas saying, I mean, that is a
huge, huge piece of being ableto just, even though you're not
100% in control of what'shappening to you, you know there
are some decisions that you canmake based on the information
(43:07):
you're given, and so you reallywant as complete of a picture as
possible so that you can makethat decision for yourself.
I can't emphasize that enough,because I did the same thing
after looking at the numbers andhaving a bunch of conversations
with different doctors, andthen I felt I felt confident,
you know, in that decision.
(43:29):
I know a lot of women who havethe exact same stage breast
cancer that I had and they chosea different path.
They decided to do thechemotherapy and they went down
a much more.
You know, to me I don't want touse the word scary, but that
was concerning to me, you know,I just didn't see the benefit of
(43:51):
going down that path.
So just to have a completepicture, you know, is critical
at that moment in time.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
So yeah, but you're not yeah, that's just it I said
to them.
I said I already have aweakened immune system.
I don't want to be pumpingpoison into, just to prove you
all right.
If you don't think, it'll havemuch of an impact.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
That's right.
So I had a big decision to make.
You know, I remember when I wasdiagnosed I had gone to get a
mammogram and it was a.
It was a follow up mammogrambecause the first one came back
questionable.
So like, okay, come back inlike about six months and we'll
do another one.
And so I got the scans done.
I went home a couple of dayslater I got a notification that
(44:39):
you know, on my chart, the app,the scans were in, and I didn't
think anything of it.
This is what I did every singletime.
I looked at the scans and I'mreading it and there were.
There was language in there Ididn't understand.
I called the doctor's office andthe poor woman who answered the
phone I said hey, I just I gotmy scans back and there are a
(45:02):
couple of questions I have.
Is the doctor available?
And she's like well, he is here, but what kind of questions do
you have?
And maybe I can, you know, justrelay it to him because he's
getting a bunch of patientstoday.
I said, well, I'm just notfamiliar with you know, what
does Carson Noma mean?
That's the first time I've everseen this.
And she got really quiet andshe was like hold please.
(45:23):
And then my doctor got on thephone and then that's when we
have that.
He explained it to me.
So that's how I found out wasjust because I was digging into
my own files and asking thequestions.
But better to be informeduninformed, I guess.
Make the phone call explain itto you, rather than wait until I
(45:45):
don't.
Who knows when he would havegotten back to me.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Yeah, like things slips through the cracks and
most hospitals or clinics haveapps now.
So, yeah, it's important tocreate profiles so you know when
all your tests come back andyou can proactively follow up if
you're not hearing back fromthem in reasonable moment of
time.
And, yes, some of likeobviously the healthcare system,
(46:13):
all of the jargon that is used.
Yeah, I read the reports andthen I'm like, okay, can I get
this in English right?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Let me open up my medical dictionary as I'm
reading through this report.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I'm not going to copy pastes into Google and
translate from medical toEnglish just yet.
Yeah yeah, I need some help.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Did you keep everything like in a three ring
binder?
Because I have one of those.
I have a three ring binder thateven to this day I just kept
everything in it and it actuallywas a good thing, because I
have an aunt who was recentlydiagnosed with cancer and her
doctor asked her because shetold him you know my history and
he asked her if I had agenetics test and I did and I
(47:02):
was able to go back into mythree ring binder and finally
found it.
You know, after remembering,because I asked all of my
doctors if they had a copy of it, nobody in the hospital could
find a copy of my genetics testbecause I guess they changed
over owns the hospital now andthings slipped through the
(47:24):
cracks and you know, forwhatever reason, they didn't
have it.
But thank God I have that threering binder that I kept a hard
copy of everything in because Iwas able to find my genetic, my
genetics test, just the otherday.
Do you, do you have your, your,your binder at the ready for
such occasions?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
I have a digital binder.
So again, between the app andonline, I'll log in on my laptop
Every time I get reports backand save it as a PDF into my
health folder on my laptop andjust back up my laptop.
So yes, it should be thereforever.
(48:05):
But, to your point, ifsomething happens or the upgrade
change, systems, informationgets lost.
I've got everything saved.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Yeah, I tell you this is turning into a how to type
of episode.
So what do you do if you getdiagnosed?
You know we have all kinds ofgreat advice here.
I'm going to say if your friendgets diagnosed, I think we have
all kinds of wonderful goldennuggets for anyone who is up,
(48:35):
because it's not an easy thingFor anybody.
This is not easy to deal with.
I do know that we're startingto run short on time.
I mean, we've already beentalking for almost 50 minutes
now, which is insane to mebecause this is gone by really,
really fast.
I want to go ahead and wrap upthis episode, but before I do so
(48:57):
, what's the thing that youwould want to say to our
listeners?
Any parting words of wisdom ormotivation that you would want
to share with them?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
My top tips, jen, are it's really important to
maintain a positive mindset and,as we've discussed, I realize
that can be harder some daysthan others.
But be thankful every day thatyou wake up and try to only
worry about what you can control, because if you focus on
(49:28):
everything that you can't, thatwill just drive you bonkers.
And the other most importantthing that has worked for me, I
would say, is the whole patientadvocacy part being organized
asking lots of questions,prepping for every appointment,
(49:49):
no, and making notes.
Like every doctor who comes in.
I'm like sorry, what was yourname again?
And they always show me theirphoto ID so I can grab their
name.
So I make a note of everydoctor I meet and talk to you.
Normally it's multiple doctorsbecause the hospital I'm dealing
with is a teaching hospital, soI just grab everybody's name,
(50:14):
lots of notes and, again, alwaysask questions and if you're not
sure about your options or thetest that will run, why they
will run the outcomes, askquestions.
You're the patient you've gotthe right to know.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Absolutely Fantastic advice.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Ask and take control, nobody else will.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
That's right, that is 100% correct right there.
So don't be afraid, don't beafraid to take control.
Well, jamie, this has beenabsolutely wonderful.
I'm so happy to see you and tobe able to have another
conversation with you and, youknow, I'm just so happy that you
look like you're doing well.
It seems like you know you'rejust you're not just hanging in
(50:59):
there, you are actually activelydoing what you can, focusing on
the things that you can control, and eating healthy and and
you're.
Are you still working out?
Are you still going to the gym?
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Lighter dumbbells and still working at home.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Thank goodness for the Peloton app.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
So my native Friday I do my strength classes and then
I hop on the bike a coupletimes.
Yeah, that is another thingthat really helps me with
mindset and gives me positiveand focused and gives me energy
to keep going.
Yeah so find something that youlove, that's important to you,
that you can focus on and do.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
That's right.
That's right and bring some joyin the midst of that storm.
Got to be able to reach forthat.
All right, friend.
Thanks again.
Wonderful seeing you, and Iwill be seeing you again because
we'll have round two down theroad and then we'll have some
conversations about financialplanning and what do those
(52:03):
conversations need to sound like?
You know, amongst familymembers, because very, very
important thing to have aconversation about.
All right, everyone.
I hope that you found thisepisode to be useful.
You know it's not an easyconversation to have, it's not a
fun topic to explore, butunfortunately it is a reality of
(52:26):
life and we know so many peoplewho have been diagnosed with
cancer and many survivors andmany who are actually actively
going through their diagnosisright now.
So be blessed and, like Jamiesaid, when you wake up, be happy
.
You have another day and try tomake the best of it.
That's all we can do.
(52:47):
All right, everyone, take careof yourselves and we'll see you
next time.
Bye, thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andyou'd like to help support the
podcast, please share it withothers, post about it on social
(53:08):
media or leave a rating and areview.
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