Stop Being The Magic Maker Because Over-Functioning Is Causing Your Holiday Burnout & Resentment

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Are you finding it impossible to actually enjoy the holiday season because your brain is stuck in hyper-drive? You are obsessively managing everyone else's emotions, menus, and memories, all while you slowly burn out in the background. If the idea of sitting down to relax makes you feel anxious rather than peaceful, you are trapped in the role of the "Magic Maker."

For women healers over 50, this constant busyness isn't a personality quirk—it is a physiological trap called "Identity Compression." Your high-achieving nervous system has fused your self-worth with your output, making "sitting still" feel physically unsafe. You aren't just trying to make the holidays perfect; you are trying to soothe a nervous system that only knows how to survive by doing. This leads to a dangerous cycle where your "care" turns into deep resentment.

In this episode, Dr. Julie breaks the cycle of over-functioning. You will discover the neuroscience behind why you can't stop doing and receive the exact steps to detach your worth from your productivity. We introduce the "Solar-Sacral Reset"—a specific, 60-second Chakra activity designed to interrupt the "Magic Maker" energy in real-time. You will learn how to shift from "Performance" to "Presence," allowing you to offer your family the one thing they actually want—your authentic self—while preserving your energy for a radiant Next Chapter.

It is time to resign from the job of managing everyone else's joy. Press play to learn how to put down the mental load, release the rigid need for control, and finally experience the holiday peace you have been working so hard to create for everyone else.

This podcast supports women healers over 50 navigating burnout, compassion fatigue, and midlife transitions with strategies for nervous system regulation, trauma-informed boundaries, and chakra alignment to heal resentment and self-neglect while cultivating soul joy, radiance, and a purposeful next chapter of freedom and inner peace.

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Episodes drop every Tuesday at 5am and every Friday at noon.

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Have you ever realized yourwhole life revolves around
helping others?
And when someone asks you whatyou want for Christmas, you
honestly don't have an answer.
In this episode, we're fixingthat.

(00:27):
Empowering brilliant women inhealthcare over 50 to transform
burnout and compassion fatigueinto renewed passion.
Reigniting your spark to createa life that energizes you every
single day.
I'm your host, Dr.
Jules.
Let's get to it.

(00:49):
Okay.
Three.
By the end of this episode,here's three things you're going
to know.
Number one, the research backedtruth about your identity
compression, and why yournervous system treats relaxing
as a threat during the holidays.

(01:10):
And number two, how to use a62nd chakra activity to reopen
your solar plexus and sacralcenters so you stop leaking
energy to your family.
And number three, the exact steppurpose reclamation plan to help

(01:33):
you.
Walk into the new year, buildinga life, not just a job
description.
And that's a three step plan,that reclamation plan.
Okay, so as I always like to,let's dive into the research and

(01:53):
the problem.
So my friends, we're gonna startwith the science because I know
my audience and you are smart,high achieving women.
And you want to know why youfeel this way?
There is a concept in burnoutresearch sus, and it's supported

(02:14):
by, studies from mass latch,which I said wrong, figley, and
even the a MA, and it's called.
Get this identity compression.
Here is what happens when youwork in high stakes healing
professions for decades as wehave your nervous system adapts

(02:39):
to the environment.
Dr.
Stephen Po.
Hayes, the father, we all knowhim.
The father of polyvagal theory.
Tells us that our nervoussystem's, number one job, y'all
can fill in this blank.
It's safety for you.

(02:59):
Safety has become synonymouswith competence and when you are
helping, when you are fixing,when you are diagnosing, or when
you are managing a crisis, yournervous system knows exactly
what to do.
You're good at it.

(03:20):
It feels competent, therefore itfeels safe.
But when you turn, when you takethat uniform off, step out of
that role, or when you step awayfrom the crisis, y'all, and
you're just sitting in yourliving room with a cup of tea,

(03:40):
your nervous system loses itsanchor.
It doesn't know the rules ofrelaxation, right?
It interrupts that stillness at,well, it does interrupt that
stillness because it interpretsthat stillness as being unsafe
or unproductive.

(04:01):
So what do you do?
You look for work.
You start cleaning, you startworrying about your adult
children.
You take on the emotional laborof the holidays.
You become the human doinginstead of the human being,
because doing feels a lot saferto you than being, and this

(04:27):
leads to what I call the holidayidentity trap.
You are so exceptional athelping.
That your own needs have becomeinvisible, even to you.
You feel trapped, you feelexhausted, and if you're being

(04:48):
really honest, you probably feela little bit of resentment
bubbling up under the surfaceand asking, when is it my turn?
Which is a fair question.
So let's shift that and let'slook at this thing through the

(05:11):
lens of energy, because we arewhole beings, science and soul,
right?
When we suffer from thisidentity compression, two
specific chakras take a massivehit.
First.
Your cellar, plexus chakra.

(05:32):
And y'all, this is located rightin your upper belly.
This is the center of yourpersonal power.
This is your identity.
Your I am.
And when your identity iswrapped up entirely in others,
your patients, your kids, yourspouse, this center becomes

(05:53):
depleted.
Essentially, y'all, you'releaking power all day long.
The second chakra that isinvolved is the sacral chakra
that's underneath your solarplexus, your lower belly.
This is the seat of yourcreativity, your sexuality, your

(06:14):
pleasure, your playfulness, yourjoy, and when we are in survival
mode, or you know, that helpermode, this chakra shuts down.
Why?
Because play isn't efficient,joy isn't productive.
So I want to do an activity withyou right now, and if you're

(06:37):
driving, just keep your eyes onthe road.
If you're cleaning, keep oncleaning, walking.
This'll work.
But if you can in what you'redoing, I invite you to find just
a moment of stillness.
I want you to take your righthand.
Place it on your upper belly,your solar plexus, and I want

(06:59):
you to take your left hand andplace it on your lower belly,
that sacral center.
Drop your eye or drop yourshoulders away from your ears.
Unc unclench those jaws.
And I want you to take a reallygood deep breath through your
nose and expand that bellyagainst what society's always

(07:22):
having to suck it in.
I want you to expand it.
And feel your belly expandinginto your hands, and then you
exhale through your mouth.
And now I want you to ask yourbody a question.
Don't answer it in your brainwhere that floating head of

(07:44):
competence, stop it.
I want you to get into yourbody.
I want you to answer this withyour gut and I want you to ask
yourself.
Who am I beyond who I help?
Listen to the silence and askyourself one more question.

(08:08):
What part of me has been waitingfor permission to just be this
holiday season?
Maybe you hear a whisper of theartist.
The reader, the sleeper, maybethe walker that whisper that is

(08:34):
yours.
Spark.
That is the part of you thatburnout tried to extinguish, but
it is still here.
This activity, placing yourhands on these centers.
And asking these questionsinterrupts the pattern of the
nervous system.
It tells your body, I see you.

(08:57):
You are more than a machine.
You are a beautiful, brilliant,competent woman.
So how do we take that spark andturn it into a full flipping
fire?
How do we stop being the magicmaker?
For everyone else and startmaking some magic for ourselves.

(09:23):
I love using the StoryBrandframework for this.
In every great story, there's ahero, a villain, and a guide,
and in your life right now, thevillain isn't your jaw, it isn't
your family.
The villain is the earn thatinternal belief.

(09:46):
That purpose equals performance.
The belief that you are onlyworthy if you are sweating.
That's the villain.
The hero is you, the woman over50, high achiever, the healer,
the one ready for her nextchapter.

(10:08):
Connecting to that sacredpurpose beyond performance.
So here is your simple threestep Reclamation reconnection
plan to defeat the villain thisweek.
Step one, name the constraint.

(10:29):
Though you cannot heal what youdo not acknowledge, you've gotta
name it to change it.
I want you to say it out loudtoday.
I feel guilty when I sit down.
I don't know what I like to doanymore.
Naming it takes the shame away.
It frees your system.

(10:50):
In step two, you choose a micropurpose.
Now this is crucial.
Do not try to find your life'spurpose.
Today.
We'll be working on that.
Welcome 2026, but today that'stoo heavy.
I want you to find a micropurpose.

(11:10):
This one is small.
It's nonproductive.
It's a thing that exists solelyfor your joy.
Maybe it's buying a sketchbookand drawing for 10 minutes, uh,
or get you some finger paintsand just make a mess.
I love that.
Maybe it's walking outsidewithout your phone.

(11:34):
Maybe it's reading a trashyromance novel.
Hell yeah.
It has to be something thatserves no one but you.
This sends a radical signal ofsafety to your brain that says I
exist outside of my utility.

(11:57):
And then step three, you ownyour new narrative.
I want you to write thissentence on a sticky note.
Put it on your bathroom mirror.
Here it is.
I am becoming a woman whose lifeis bigger than her work.
You say that every morning.

(12:18):
You say that.
Every evening you are rewiringyour brain 67 days to rewire.
You are telling your solarplexus that you are taking.
Your power back.
Yeah.
You don't have to wait forretirement to find yourself.

(12:42):
Oh, my sweet friend.
You don't have to wait for theholidays to be over to feel
peace.
You don't have to wait for'em tobe over.
The peace is here now.
You can start right now bydetaching from.
You've gotta detach your worthfrom your work.

(13:05):
It's purpose beyond performance.
So to summarize what we learnedtoday, first we learned that
feeling lost outside of work isbiological.
It's identity compression.
There's research that backs itup.
It's not a character flaw.
You're not broken, you're still,you.

(13:28):
Second, we learned that we canphysically reset our sober
plexus and our sacral chakras byplacing our hands on our bodies
and asking, who am I beyond whoI help?
And third, we learned theStoryBrand.
StoryBrand plan, name theconstraint.

(13:52):
Choose a micro purpose and ownthe narrative that your life is
bigger than your job.
Now, here is my request for you.
I know you know another womancolleague, a sister, a nurse
friend who is drowning inholiday stress right now.

(14:15):
She needs to hear this.
Please share this episode withher.
Tell her I see you and this willhelp.
I hope that you have a beautifulrest of your day and I will see
you on Tuesday.

(14:39):
If this episode hit home, don'tjust nod and move on.
Give yourself what you actuallyneed.
Tap the show notes right now tograb your free Compassion
Fatigue Cure Starter Guide, or.
The burnout to Radiance Reset.
And girl, if you know anotherwoman healer who's running on

(15:04):
empty, please share thisepisode.