Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
So let me ask you a questionthat might make you Hmm.
Uncomfortable.
Have you ever sat in your car,in your own driveway for 10
minutes after shift staring atthe garage door?
Just because you couldn't bearthe thought of walking inside
(00:24):
and having someone ask you forone more thing if you nodded
your head.
Stay right here.
You are not crazy.
You are not tired.
You are in the middle of abiological and spiritual crisis.
(00:46):
Empowering brilliant women inhealthcare over 50 to transform
burnout and compassion fatigueinto renewed passion.
Reigniting your spark to createa life that energizes you every
single day.
I'm your host, Dr.
Jules.
Let's get to it.
(01:07):
Today we are going to waragainst the normal.
We are going to talk about whyyou're high functioning
capability is actually a traumaresponse and why.
The standard self-care advice orjust take a vacation is actually
(01:30):
making you sicker.
Here are three reasons I needyou to stay and listen to the
very end of this episode.
First, you're going to discoverwhy your bladder during a shift
or session is actually a signalthat your root chakra has shut
(01:52):
down and your nervous system isin a functional freeze.
Second, we are going to talkabout the ugly emotion.
No one admits resentment.
I'm going to explain why yousecretly resent.
The very people you love themost and how to fix your heart
(02:16):
chakra without becoming averitable, doormat.
And third, I'm going to walk youthrough a very specific somatic
activity to reconnect you toyour purpose.
If you feel like you've lostyour sacred why this activity is
(02:37):
gonna help you find it.
Okay, so y'all, let's talk aboutthe diagnosis.
'cause it is not stress, it'sdisconnection, and I'm gonna
tell you why.
So let's get into it.
We need to start by definingwhat is actually happening to
you.
Sweet friend.
(02:58):
I treat women, healers, over 50doctors, nurses, therapists,
social workers, clergyeducators.
You are the strong ones.
You are the ones who hold thedepartment together.
You hold the family together,you hold it all together.
But here's the ugly truth,y'all.
(03:22):
Burnout, compassion, fatigue.
It is not just exhaustion.
If you were just exhausted, aweekend of sleep would fix it.
You've tried sleep.
I know you have.
You're still tired.
That's because this iscompassion fatigue.
It is a systemic injury to yoursoul and your biology, and the
(03:49):
problem isn't that you work toohard, although you do the
problem, my friend, isdisconnection.
When we live in a state of highstake survival mode for 30
years, which is what a career inhealthcare is.
We survive by disconnecting.
(04:09):
We disconnect to get through thetrauma of the er, of the client.
Of the student.
We disconnect to handle theclient's grief.
We disconnect to manage thehospital politics.
We disconnect to manage theuniversity politics, but you
cannot selectively disconnect.
Y'all.
You can't turn off the pain thatyou turning off the joy, you
(04:32):
numb things.
You can't turn off the overwhelmwithout turning off the purpose.
Today we are looking at threegreat disconnections that cause
suffering.
We are going to map these to thescience of the nervous system,
and we're going to map them toancient wisdom of the chakras
(04:58):
because you need both.
One without the other is hollow,huh?
Science without spirit issterile.
Spirit without science, it'sjust ungrounded.
So first, let's talk aboutdisconnection One.
Body and the root chakra.
The first casualty of highfunctioning burnout is your
(05:21):
body.
I want you to think about yourlast shift or session or class,
your last week of work.
Did you skip lunch?
Did you hold your bladder forfour hours because someone
needed you?
(05:42):
Did you push through a migraine?
I just gotta do it.
Just gotta get it over with.
Society tells us, oh, this isquite virtuous.
It tells us you are a dedicatedprofessional.
And I'm telling you that this isviolence against self
(06:05):
biologically.
This is a state of functionalfreeze.
So in polyvagal theory, yournervous system has assessed that
it is not safe to have needs.
If you are in a war zone, youdon't stop to eat.
(06:26):
You don't stop to pee, you justkeep going.
You, your body has learned overthe years that safety equals
ignoring self.
You have trained your nervoussystem that your survival
depends on suppressing yourbiological signals.
(06:51):
This is why you can't feel yourhunger until you are starving.
This is why you don't feelexhaustion until you crash.
So let's look at thisenergetically as well.
Energetically, this is ablockage in your root chakra,
(07:18):
and remember that root chakra isat the base of your spine.
It governs our right to exist.
It governs our safety, oursurvival, our physical needs.
And when a healer has a blockedroot chakra, they feel
ungrounded.
You feel ungrounded.
(07:40):
You might feel anxious, lighty,or like you are constantly
waiting for the other shoe todrop.
Just there's that unease.
Something's, something's up.
This is because you areessentially floating above your
body because it's too painful tobe in your body.
(08:01):
You're a floating head ofcompetence.
If you're disconnected from yourbody, you cannot heal.
You are a house built on sand.
You might be brilliant.
I'm sure you are.
I bank on it.
You might be saving lives.
(08:22):
You might be making a differencein a lot of lives, but you are
slowly girl.
You are slowly dying on theinside because you have ignored
your root system and it'swithering.
We have to stop calling selfneglect, resilience.
(08:45):
It is not resilience.
It is trauma.
Okay, absorb that.
We're move into the nextdisconnection relationships and
your heart chakra.
We're gonna go a little deeper.
(09:07):
Let's go to the plays thatcarries the, the most shame.
Disconnection from relationshipsand y'all, here's the scenario.
You spend all day being the mostempathic person in the room.
You listen to patients, youlisten to students, you listen
to clients, you validate pain,you hold space, then you come
(09:30):
home.
Just getting home used to be achallenge for me.
Huh?
The drive.
The drive home, I'd be soexhausted.
I would just think, how am Igonna drive home?
Your husband, ask where thecatchup is.
Or maybe your adult child callsto complain about their job.
And we love when they call, butsadly, instantly you feel a
(09:55):
flash of rage.
You think, why does everyoneneed a piece of me?
Why can't anyone do anything forthemselves?
And then the shame hits and youthink, well, hell, I'm terrible.
I'm a terrible mother.
(10:16):
I'm a terrible partner.
I'm supposed to be the caringperson.
But here's the truth, girl.
Sweet.
So you are not terrible.
You're empty.
This is the ugly truth aboutcompassion fatigue.
When you give from an empty cup,you know that myth?
(10:37):
Oh, you can't pour from an emptycup.
When you continue to give froman empty cup, the liquid you
pour out is resentment and youbecome the empty cup.
So energetically, this is yourheart chakra.
This center right here in yourchest, this center governs love,
(11:00):
compassion, and connection.
And when we are burned out, wedon't just close the heart
chakra, well, we build afortress around it.
We build a wall of stone toprotect ourselves from being
drained further.
But here is the paradox, thewall.
(11:24):
Keeps the drain out, but it alsokeeps the nourishment out.
You feel alone, even when youare surrounded by the people you
love.
You feel invisible even when youare the center of attention.
We have to move the walls togates, permeable boundaries.
(11:49):
A wall is a blockage, A gate isa latch.
Has a latch as well.
You can open it and you canclose it.
That's why it's a boundary.
A boundary is not mean.
(12:09):
A boundary is the only way tosustain love.
Saying it again, A boundary isthe only way to sustain love.
If you were feeling resentment,I want you to validate it.
Resentment is a signal.
It's your soul speaking to you.
It's your soul's way of saying,I'm overextended.
(12:34):
Don't judge the resentment.
Listen to it.
Be curious about it.
So disconnection three.
Is the sacred why we'vedisconnected from the sacred
why, and our crown chakra, thisis the third disconnection, the
(13:01):
that disconnection from yoursacred why is in big, that's
your purpose.
You feel that when my purpose isdisconnected, I feel flat and
depressed and.
Keep thinking what is going onwith me?
I'm just not me anymore.
When I'm connected, it's like akid in a candy store.
(13:21):
I'm having a big time.
I'm motivated.
Y'all.
This disconnection is thedeepest pain for women over 50.
When you went into medicine,therapy, social work, education,
counseling, clergy, whereveryour calling is, you had a
calling.
You wanted to heal, you wantedto help.
(13:43):
You wanted to make a difference.
You had that spark, but now, nowit feels like paperwork.
It feels like insurance codes.
It feels like office politics.
You look at your career and youthink, is this it?
Is this what I sacrificed myhealth for my time, for all that
(14:06):
education?
Huh?
So the science behind this wouldcall this a moral injury.
It happens when we are forced towork in systems that violate our
core values, and it causes profound.
(14:27):
It causes a profound sense ofgrief and cynicism.
This relates to your crownchakra.
This is your connection to thedivine, to wisdom, to that big
picture.
When the count, when the crownchakra is blocked by burnout,
(14:51):
compassion, fatigue, we lose ourvision.
We become cynical.
We feel trapped.
We, we feel like a cog in amachine rather than the healer
of souls, the helper of souls.
But I want you to listen to me,your purpose.
(15:12):
Oh honey, your purpose did notleave you.
It is buried under the debris ofthe system.
You are entering your secondact, the wisdom years.
This is the time when you aremeant to transition from the
warrior.
Who fights the disease to thesage who teaches wisdom, you
(15:39):
need a new path, a next chapter.
That doesn't necessarily meanquitting your job.
It's not what I mean.
I don't invite you to quit yourjob tomorrow, but I do invite
you to find alignment.
And if that means quitting yourjob, you do you, but you find
your alignment.
(16:00):
So here's what we're gonna do.
I told you we just wouldn'ttalk.
I don't believe in that.
I'm gonna give you an activityevery single time to take it
from knowledge to application.
Bloom's taxonomy.
We are going to do somethinggood.
We cannot think our way out ofburnout.
We cannot mindset our way out ofa fried nervous system.
(16:25):
Research into the vagus nerveshows.
That we must feel safety in thebody to turn off the alarm bells
of our amygdala.
Hmm.
So we're going to do a somaticanchor exercise to reconnect the
root and heart chakra.
So if you're driving, justplease keep your eyes.
(16:46):
Well, of course, keep your eyesopen.
Whatever you're doing.
I just need you to hear myvoice.
And if you're at home, pleaseclose your eyes and, and do this
or come back to it later.
I want you to squeeze yourglutes.
We're starting at the rootchakra.
Squeeze your glutes.
Push your feet into the floor.
(17:06):
Feel the resistance.
Hold it, hold it, release.
Feel the blood flow back intoyour legs.
Tell your body I'm here.
I'm safe.
I have the right to take upspace.
Now take your right hand, placeit firmly over your chest, over
your heart.
Take your left hand, place itonto your belly.
(17:29):
We are going to take a deepbreath into the belly.
Push that left hand out.
Inhale 4, 3, 2, 1.
Hold and exhale.
Make that sound ha.
Visualization here is for you toimagine a golden cord connecting
(17:50):
your heart to the earth.
With every exhale, send theresentment down to that cord
into the earth.
The earth can hold it.
You don't have to hold it.
Let go do this for threebreaths.
Inhale, peace.
(18:11):
Exhale, resentment.
Okay.
It's simple.
My activities are simple, butdude, if you will do them on a
regular basis, you will bedifferent.
Okay?
We're gonna summarize what welearned.
You're not broken, youdisconnected.
You have disconnected from yourbody, the root chakra to survive
(18:34):
the stress.
You have disconnected from yourrelationships, the heart chakra
to protect your energy, and youhave disconnected from your
purpose, the crown chakrabecause of moral injury.
We rise together by reclaimingthese parts, all these parts of
ourselves, of we go eat lunch.
(18:57):
We set boundaries and we dreamof that next chapter.
Girl, if you recognize yourselfin any of these disconnections,
if you felt that pain and go, ohGod, that's me.
Then you need to know exactlywhich archetype of burnout is
(19:18):
running your show.
I have a specific tool of designfor this, and I want you to go
to the show notes right now.
There's a link to.
The shadow healer archetype quiztakes two minutes.
It's gonna tell you exactlywhich chakra is your primary
blockage and give you a roadmapto clear it.
(19:40):
So go to the show notes rightnow.
Click the link, take the quiz.
The world needs you.
I need you whole, not hollow.
So let's find your radiance andI'll see you next time we rise
together.
If this episode hit home, don'tjust nod and move on.
(20:04):
Give yourself what you actuallyneed.
Tap the show notes right now,and girl, if you know another
woman healer who's running onempty, please share this
episode, y'all.
We rise together.