Why You're Addicted to Being Needed and How This Leads to Burnout - Balance Your Heart Chakra

Send us your thoughts!

If you stopped fixing everyone's problems today—right this second—would you still feel valuable, or would you panic? If you hesitated, I need you to know something: You aren't just "kind." You are addicted to being needed.

For 50 years, the "Good Girl" identity has ruled your life, convincing you that your worth is transactional—that you only matter as long as you are useful. But that identity is a parasite. This isn't service; it is a trauma response that turns your Heart Chakra into a one-way valve, letting energy out but never allowing love in.

In this episode, Dr. Julie performs surgery on your martyrdom. You will discover why "over-giving" is actually a defense mechanism and how to repair the energetic blockages preventing you from receiving. We introduce the excruciatingly powerful "Mirror Work" exercise, designed to force you to finally see—and love—the woman you have been neglecting.

You are enough even when you are "useless." Press play to learn how to disappoint others without guilt and start falling in love with yourself.

This podcast supports women healers over 50 navigating burnout, compassion fatigue, and midlife transitions with strategies for nervous system regulation, trauma-informed boundaries, and chakra alignment to heal resentment and self-neglect while cultivating soul joy, radiance, and a purposeful next chapter of freedom and inner peace.

👇Am I Burned Out Or Just Tired™:

Take the 60-second Burnout Assessment for Healers

✓ Find out if it's Burnout, Compassion Fatigue, or Exhaustion

✓ Get your personalized recovery plan

✓ Takes 60 seconds. Completely private

Reach out to Dr. Julie

Episodes drop every Tuesday at 5am and every Friday at noon.

Special guest episodes drop the 4th Thursday of every month at 7am.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Welcome to the 12 Days ofRadiance Reset.
We're ditching the holidayoverwhelmed to take you from
exhausted and trapped to radiantand free.
This is your end of yearconnection.
All right, so if you've stoppedfixing everyone's problems
today, write this second.

(00:25):
Would you feel valuable?
If the answer is no, or even ifyou hesitated?
I need you to know something.
You aren't just kind.
You are addicted to beingneeded, and it's exhausting you.

(00:46):
Empowering brilliant women inhealthcare over 50 to transform
burnout and compassion fatigueinto renewed passion.
Reigniting your spark to createa life that energizes you every
single day.
I'm your host, Dr.
Jules.
Let's get to it.

(01:07):
Today we are performing surgery,the good girl identity that has
ruled your life for over 50years.
Girl, you need to listen to theend of this episode because we
are going to uncover whyovergiving is actually a trauma

(01:29):
response, not a personalitytrait.
We're going to work on the heartchakra.
If you are a healer, this islikely blocked by a heart wall
of grief and un receive love,and I'm teaching you mirror
work.

(01:50):
This exercise might make youcry, but it is the only way to
find.
The self-love you have beenchasing.
I wanna talk to you about thebiology of the good girl.
'Cause I mean, if you're over 50like me, I mean I'm over 60.

(02:10):
I'm a child of the sixties.
Life was a little different backthen.
Um, being a good girl withsurvival in my household.
But let's talk about thebiology.
Often this hits hard during ourempty nest phase or a career
transition.

(02:31):
Why?
Because when the kids leave orthe career peaks, the good girl
panics.
She panics because her identityis transactional.
She believes I'm only worthy aslong as I'm serving someone
else.
When there is no one to fix, shefaces a terrifying identity

(02:56):
crisis and a total lack ofpurpose.
And here's the hard truth, realself-care.
It is not a spa day, it is not abubble bath.
Real self-care is the capacityto disappoint others without

(03:16):
guilt.
It is knowing you exist evenwhen you aren't useful.
So energetically, this lives inyour heart chakra and you might
think, ah, girl, my heart chakrais fine.

(03:37):
I give love to everyone.
And that is exactly the problemmost healers.
Have a one way valve in theirheart.
I think of as relationships asone way streets, right?
They just, it, it goes one way.

(03:59):
It pumps love out effortlessly.
But when love tries to come in,when someone tries to care for
you, you deflect.
You say, I'm fine.
Don't worry about me.
That valve is broken.
That blockage causes spiritualheart failure.

(04:23):
It leaves you feeling lonelyeven when you are surrounded by
people.
So how do we fix the valve?
We're gonna do a heart surgeryhere.
We have to go to the source.
We are going to do mirror work.

(04:45):
So later today, I know you'rebusy right at this moment, but
later today, I want you to finda mirror where you can be alone.
I want you to look directly inyour own left eye.
The left eye connects to theright brain, the emotional
brain, and I want you to set atimer on your phone for two

(05:10):
minutes.
You just look at her.
I want you to say these wordsout loud.
I want you to say these wordsout loud.
I love you.
I am listening.
You don't have to do anything tobe worthy.

(05:36):
It is going to feelexcruciatingly uncomfortable.
And you might wanna look away,but don't sweet soul, you must
sit with a discomfort.
That discomfort is the healinghappening in real time.

(05:58):
You are worthy just because youexist, not because you fixed it,
not because you saved them, justbecause you are you.
And I have to ask you, are youthe type of archetype who fights
for everyone but herself?

(06:20):
You need to know.
You need to take my watch, yourburnout, compassion fatigue,
archetype quiz that's linked inthe show notes right now.
You are enough and we risetogether.
If this episode hit home, don'tjust nod and move on.

(06:42):
Give yourself what you actuallyneed.
Tap the show notes right now tograb your free Compassion
Fatigue Cure Starter Guide, or.
The burnout to Radiance Reset.
And girl, if you know anotherwoman healer who's running on

(07:02):
empty, please share thisepisode.