May 27, 2024 • 24 mins
Introducing Rena! A warm and friendly lady, who enjoys cross stitch, creating book nooks and visiting historical landmarks. Sounds wholesome right?
But things are not as they seem with Rena… she is concealing something about her life that is DANGEROUS, that she used to keep hidden from most people in her life.
Check it out on the socials:
Instagram: instagram.com/concealedwithartsimone/
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@concealedwithartsimone
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Well hallai, I'm back. Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And if you thought we don't cover every strange, peculiar
and eccentric wido, oh, you'd be oh so wrong. I've
been working so hard to uncover the little secrets and
strange things people are keeping concealed from the world, or
even concealed from me. So strap in and strap on
because things might get a little naughty.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
This is concealed with art simone, and I'm art Simone.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Duh. Let's meet our guests. Roll thata do it.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hi. My name is Renee. I have lived in Melbourne
since nineteen ninety eight, when I immigrated here from the
US to marry my internet love. I work as a
bus US this analyst on large scale IT projects and
business improvement projects. I manage a registered charity I started
in twenty fifteen and I'm currently building a new consulting business.
I have one daughter, who came with me from the
(01:12):
States and whom I'm very proud of. My interests in
hobbies are wide and varied, ranging from an extensive library
to a fishing coral marine tank, to visit historical sites
and traveling. I also like home crafts, make my own curtains,
put together booknooks and new cross stitch. But I'm concealing
another part of my life that some may consider quite dangerous.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
How every day? How are you good?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I loving to meet you. Thanks for coming into the
studio today. Now we've never met before. Let me describe you,
all right. We've got a beautiful nights. I'd say business
chik blazer on and ie broach Ooh.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
That's very fancy that.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It's my grandmother's.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh. I love that. We've got some pearls, but they're
like dark.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Pels, because yeah, dark, that's my thing.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I'm trying to pick them it so right, beautiful, all right,
nice tim short hair, spectacular spectacles. Now I have to
check are they prescription?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They are?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Oh good? All right, all right, I'll just check.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Because sometimes people come in here and they try to
fool me with the disguise. I don't want that to
be you today.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
No, I never disguised myself.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And you are slightly shorter because we have just had
a bit of a struggle trying to get you up
onto the studio chair today.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, I've got to pick it up, all right,
So a bit of background. So you move to your
nineteen ninety eight for a lover an internet love I did.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Oh can you tell me about that chat room? Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
We talked for about eight months. He flew me over here,
spent two weeks here, got engaged, kicked off the immigration
visa before I went home, waited five months, it came through,
and four weeks later my daughter and I were in Australia.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Oh, my goodness, loved good story.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Six months later I got married.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
And are you still together? We are?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Not six years?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Six and a half years, though, that's pretty good.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
It was a pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And you said I'm going to stick around though.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Oh absolutely, I'm a citizen. I renounced my US citizenship
in twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, so you're stuck with me. I'm running for prime
minister years.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, people, business analysts, Is that what you said?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yes? What is that?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Nobody knows? No, no, not even us. And we we
just sort to do everything we get on these projects
and then we tell people what we think they need
to know and what you do, and we document things
and we don't actually do a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Well, someone has to do it. I think one has
to do it. And amazed. I'll be you. You have
a lot of interests. I do you like to do
a lot of things? I get bored easy, Yes, the lot.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I've stopped writing them down because there were so many.
How do you how do you keep up with all
of those things?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I don't always.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I love that though. I love that.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I got to retire soon so I can do all
the things I'm interested in.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I love that. Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
So now I'm gonna ask you three questions, okay, and
from the answers to the three questions, plus with the
bit of the background info, I'm going to try and
work out what it is that you were concealing from me.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Question number one, what would you call your autobiography?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Well, I actually have one in progress because I also write.
I couldn't put everything down. I actually have about three
books in progress, but this one's called going Bold Bold
or bald Bold. So I had my head shaped for
charity some years ago and found it to be a
very difficult thing. It actually was the scariest thing I
(04:33):
ever did, to be honest, which was sort of surprised me.
So it was for the Lukemia Foundation. It was a
business thing and So my book is about taking risks
and how to really live a full life. You know,
you need to get out there, you need to take
some risks. You need to throw yourself sometimes into situations
that scare you a situations you don't know the outcome
(04:53):
if you're really going to have an exciting and interesting
life going.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
So I feel every time I take a week.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Off, I hated it.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, Question number two, what's an unusual thing that you
have in your house?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well, I have a lot of unusual things, you can bet.
But one of my favorites that people don't seem to
appreciate is a picture that I picked up from the
Men on Men exhibition at the Laired called Pancake Daddy.
And is this really big older guy, yes, who's stark naked.
He's laying on a stack of pancakes. Is that strawberries
(05:34):
in the background. He's pouring syrup over himself, you know,
and he's looking out like he's been discovered, and he
just he looks so happy, but he also looks so like,
oh my god, people are looking at me kind of thing.
And my partner and I just absolutely adore it. And
see my kitchen, So you can't really miss.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It, but that would make me appetised. Should we eat
in the kitchen? That would be true.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I'd walk and be like, oh I'm hungry. I don't
know why, Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And the third, where is the strangest place you've fallen
a slip?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well? I did.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
It's the strangest, but it's probably the worst place I
ever fell asleep. I used to have a beautiful little
Silver MX five that I was my pride and enjoyed.
And it's a sports car. It's a convertible. Yeah, it's
a little convertible that you really should go up there. Great,
it's a musta musta car. And uh yeah, So I
used to drive it a lot, like all the time,
(06:22):
and I used to go to parties a fair amount
when I was a few years younger. And I guess
I was getting older because it was one o three
am coming back from a health fire party and I
kind of ran into a tree and totaled it as
I fell asleep away from.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It. Was a bit of a party girl. Oh what
can I say?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, all right, God, I mean, I've got lots of
things in my head after all of this, but enough
they come together in a beautiful clear pitcher that can
hang in your kitchen.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
All right? So nat and audio going bald? Didn't like that?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Raise money leukemia pancake, Oh, sexy man on pancake, Oh yummy,
falling asleep. I had a nap in a master beautiful car,
but on the way back from a hell fire party.
All right, So there's lots of fun things going out, okay,
and crosstitch, Oh what is that pained for you? I
(07:19):
don't know's it's okay? And I are you a dominatrix close?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm a polyamorous, pan sexual, sadistic leather master who also
lived for a number of years as a full time
slave in a master slave relationship. I earned my cover
in twenty nineteen after twenty one years of actively practicing bbsm.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Oh Man, well done. We have a lot to go in.
I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I'm going to give myself a pattern the back for
that one, because I don't think I would have got
that so specific.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Ah, I'm going to take this one as a win.
I got a right, yes, oh, Renee. We have so
much to find out to do a leather master. Ah,
hydrids leather weather.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I'll go get.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Mine all right, So we are here with Renee, who
I got it pretty close, may not be a dominatrix,
but is a leather master amongst a whole amount of other.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Things as well.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Oh my goodness, let's let's go back to the basics.
To be a leather master, you have to be part
of the BDSM community. Can you tell me what BDSM is?
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So. BDSM is an acronym that came out in the
nineteen nineties to basically expand what was originally S and M,
which is cetamasochism. But it's a bit more than that,
so that sounds for bondage discipline cetamasochism, and the DS
can also stand for dominance and submission, which is power exchange,
so more the emotional side of things. And it's everything
(09:05):
from a lifestyle for some people to just a set
of activities. Some people's just a bedroom thing. Some people
it extends beyond that. Some people it's sexual, some people
it's not. So it's actually really deep and complicated and
has a long history, like eighty to ninety years of
history actually, which most people don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, I guess it's not like simply black and white
or one set of rules that apply to every single situation.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Right, No, No, absolutely not. The thing about BDSM is
that while we can have some general principles that we
say we apply and we say we apply broadly, it's
an individual thing. So anyone can actually do anything they want.
You know, if you spank your partner in the bedroom,
you're basically doing BDSM, whether anyone knows it or not.
Or you might be out at clubs, you might be
out at munches, which are social gatherings, you might be
(09:51):
running a business off of it. It's so wide and
so varied and so personal that you can't really, you know,
put it in a box and say it's just one
or two different things.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Now, how did you get involved into this world?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
How did it happen?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
By accident? Kind of? I had an internet relationship fall
apart in nineteen ninety six December in nineteen ninety six,
I was really upset and a friend of mine on
the internet. She said, come to these chat rooms with me.
You know, they'll divert you. So I went. One of
it was called Torture Chamber and the other one was
called Submission.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
And you said, oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I went in and she said, oh, oh, we have
to give you another name, oh, you know, and a
little bird and I was a little bird for years.
And I went in there and I said, Hugh, you
guys are really weird and I'm not like you, which
is really ironic now because my whole life has been
around that since. But yeah, it took a little while.
But they were lovely, lovely people, and they didn't care
(10:46):
what I thought of them, and they just said, yeah,
that's okay. You know you want to hang around, go ahead,
you don't want to hang around.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Leave So then you started in this chat room world,
and then how did you kind of branch off to
then what you do now, you know, or like in person?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, it was. And they like to say this because
a lot of people say, oh, if you're not doing
things in real life, you know, you're not really doing them,
especially now there's a lot of things about doing things
on the internet. But I made a lot of friendships,
a lot of relationships on the Internet that translated to
real life at some point. And so I spent about
five months playing around internet, six phone, six different relationships,
(11:26):
got some training from a guy in Seattle, and although
we didn't meet until later, and all kinds of things,
and after five months, I said, you know, I need
to see what this is really like. So I was
involved at that time with a cross dressing dominant in
New York and I lived in Montana, which is wait
far away, and he sent me a ticket and I
(11:47):
went spent a week with him, and after about three
days he said, nothing has to happen, and that was fine.
But after about three days something just sparked and we
got into it and it blew my mind and I
just never looked back. From there. I said, this is
my place, this is my people, this is what I needed,
This what I've been missing in my life. And I
came home and it was like, no, I have to
pursue this. So a year later I moved to Australia,
(12:11):
but I'd already met online the people here in the
community because they had their own chat rooms here called
Ospedism doesn't exist anymore. And so when I got here,
I was vetted by four women for two hours sake
sat together with me, talked with me, figured out who
I was, my ideas, my attitudes, what I knew, and
then they said, okay, you're all right, come to the
(12:33):
club on this night.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Wow. Really yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And I wait. My husband and I at the time,
we walked down an alley to a roller door.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Roller door went.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Up, big guys standing under a ball, you know, like
who are you? And then and then Belinda came out
and chained and nothing else and said, oh, they're with
me and that was our birthday party, and well be
bopped in and from then on, you know, we were accepted
into the community and invited to various things.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
So would you say the community is quite protective of
each other and themselves in terms of who they let
in to make sure they're the right fit or the
right vibe or what's that like?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Well, this is the problem. There was a place called
fet Life that came in almost ten years ago, I
guess now, And when we went on there, we thought
it was great because they had cleared out all the
chat rooms. The owners had come and stripped out all
the sex channels and the BDSM channels and we couldn't
meet there anymore, so we didn't have an online place
to go to. So we thought this was great, and
(13:33):
it was for a while, but because it was an
open forum and they wanted more people on and because
people started advertising events openly, we got flooded. We got
flooded and flooded and flooded, and we're still flooded. We
have thousands of people entering every year. Yeah, and that's
driven a lot of people underground.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Now.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
When I came in, Yeah, you had to be on
the list, you had to be known, you had to
have certain underlying principles that you accepted and agreed to
and worked with. We were very protective of each other,
even if we didn't like each other, because we needed
each other. Right. It was an underground and we acted
like an underground. You didn't know people's real name. That
was funny sometimes, what's that me being a drag queen?
(14:13):
I don't know half my friend's real names. I know
we went we were trying to get some credit. Once
my husband and I are like, oh, we should call
you know, we should call less and it's like, well,
what's their last name? We don't know? I didn't know, Well, yeah, hello,
you know, because it was very secretive, you know, it's
very about protecting people, not outing people, because it was
(14:36):
dangerous in the early days.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You're going to say, is that I'm sure there was
and they probably still is a bunch of stigma around
your community essentially.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Well, it's interesting, honestly because what I found being an
advocate and talking to what we call vanilla people, they
didn't like that much. Talking to them, I actually find
a lot more acceptance. Now that's not the way it
used to be, but a lot more acceptance now. On
some times, it's people within our community that are actually
less accepting than people outside. Where ten years ago, fifteen
(15:06):
years ago, Yeah, you couldn't really talk about it openly.
You could lose your job, you could lose your partner,
you could lose your family. There's still people who you'll
lose your family. There is still absolutely by some prejudice
out there. But there's a lot more acceptance than our
people sometimes understand. I mean, they're just too frightened to
find out earlier.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I use the term a mounch. Can you tell me
what a monch is?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Well, a monch is a non vanilla luncheon. Really, a
monch was actually created specifically in the old days to
encourage newcomers to come and meet us. So the rules
where you couldn't wear outrageous clothing or fetish style stuff,
you had to look very vanilla. You couldn't bring toys
(15:51):
and things. It was to encourage people to feel safe
with us, find out we're just people, you know, and
then go from there.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
It's good for people to meet the community and the
people around them.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
To get people out meeting real people. And I'm saying
we're not as scary as they say, at least not
outside ourselves.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
When consensual for everybody.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
When we're scary, up my dungeon scary.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So what is like, what does the scope of BDSM,
What does that look like for you?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Like, Oh, that's been a journey because I was very submissive.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I was.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
I found out that my sexuality was tied to BDSM
because for me, vanilla sex is just a no go,
no interest cirrial. I was nine years old, but after
my daughter was born, didn't miss it right. That was
before I found BDSM. So my sexuality is definitely around it.
But I also had submissive tendencies, so I did that
for a while. I served dominance. I was under contract
(16:50):
for a few months to one dominance.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
What does that mean under contract?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Well, we wrote up a contract, so we signed this
contract and then I served team. I served a few
others and then when I separated from my husband, I
decided to go for. I only wanted relationships within BDSM
because while he wanted to try it, it turned out not
to be his thing.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right, Okay, So I started.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Dating a man. We call it dating. I don't really
call it dating. We started to engage. We engage for
eight months. I said I was going to move out
of my house. He said, you'll move in with me.
I've signed the contract. Show Wednesday, I'll show you the place.
And so he became my master. He was my master
for seven years.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And in some of these scenarios, Amasa can have a
bunch of people, right, Well.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
If you're Polly, yes, right, So you can have monogamy
or you can have polyamory. And I've always been polyamorous.
I mean even when I was long before I met BDSM,
I was always had multiple dates and things like that.
So he really polyamory as a whole.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
She could open up, right.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
So we had agreements that, yes, there would be other people,
but the main thing was it was a true what
we call a total power exchange, which means that he
had all right and full control and he made all decisions.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, so I you know I went into that deliberately.
I wore a slave collar. I had a custom made
pendant when I had my hair done. The biggest thing
was that my collar in lock. Okay, I didn't realize.
I wasn't thinking about it until they shaved it off.
And then there were all of my colleagues were work there.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And so all the way Rise twenty four seven.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Twenty four to seven, it never came off.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Wow, you've cut your hair. People can see your padlock.
How does that go down? What's the situation there?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So there's forty consultants, you know, crammed into this little office,
too barbarous going, and I'm drinking wine, you know, get
my bravery up and my beautys and go for it,
go for it. And I sit in the chair and
he starts shaving them, thinking, oh my god, here's all
of my colleagues and I had long red hair, yes,
and it's coming off, and whether they've noticed or not,
they're definitely going to see this now. So I was
(18:53):
kind of expecting there to be some commentary. There wasn't
any commentary, but I heard a couple of years later
from one of the people that I used to work
with that one of the development guys wanted me fired.
But actually none of my colleagues ever spoke about it,
which I'm very appreciative.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
It's like, oh, that's an interesting locker you've got there,
it's around the wrong way. That's oh wow, maybe you
lost Tiffany, is it?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
So that lock was from your first relationship as a submissive.
So what was it like when you left that?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
So that was hard leaving that because a lot of
my life was around him and it took me five
months to leave my house besides like going to work
or groceries to break the mental bonds that I deliberately created.
And I knew what I was doing. I knew that
could happen.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
So when they're in charge of everything, is that everything
or is it just within the bedroom or scenario is
like that?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
No, it was everything, And that can make some people
don't understand that when you put yourself in that mental emotion,
you choose. That is a lifestyle. It's not like you
pick and choose. So even if something is really really difficult,
it is how do I serve? How do I maintain
this right? Because the old rules were that when you
(20:12):
stopped wying to do it, that ended the relationship. So
it's very serious stuff for some of us. A very
small proportion of the scene is went down that road,
and very few people go down that road now. But
I found a lot of value in it, and it
actually helped me in a lot of ways. I also
found things that you know, we think are so important,
I found really weren't all that important at the end
(20:35):
of the day, because I lived without them. After I
left him, I started training other submissives into the lifestyle
that sort of developed a dominant side. My first trainee
actually was trying to get into a relationship with me.
So three years after I trained her, I took her on.
She moved in with me. That was my first female
relationship in my fifties, and I was her master for
(20:57):
three years.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
What was that like from you know, that's full, that's
full full? It was really hard, Yeah, to start with.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I was actually angry to begin with, you know, because
like I was going to be a submissive slave forever
and I really really kind of angry at the change
for a while. But she really helped me. I mean,
she really loved my dominance and really encouraged me to
be the best I could be. And so I grew
into that a lot because of her, and I really
give her credit for that, but she decided to go
(21:27):
on another path down the road, and I don't switch back.
I don't have an interest in that, so I still play.
I have a polycule, so I have a primary and
two other partners.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So we kind of touched on this bit, like what
is the role of consent in the BDSM world?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Consent? See, I learned consent twenty five years ago, right,
which is wonderful you hear about it now. But that
kind of came because we became more open and we
started to talk about the things we did within. But
consent was what I was taught in the very beginning.
Nothing without consent. And the other thing I learned, which
is one of the things that really have focused me
(22:04):
on the lifestyle, is I had partners that cared about me,
that put the focus on what was happening to me.
So whether it was sexual or not, you know, it
wasn't like, oh, they got sex and they wandered off,
you know, it was no. Their job was to make
sure I had an amazing experience. But nothing ever happened
without discussion or talk. So I don't care what you
(22:27):
were doing if it wasn't on the cards or if
you said stop no, we had safe words. If that
came out, everything stopped. So being treated that way was
just eye opening and I could never go back, you know,
to vanilla life, because I know a lot of that
still happens in vanilla life. And I'm like, no, you
don't treat me that way. So we learned to really
(22:47):
stand up for ourselves and to say no, you're not
doing that. Yeah, right, no matter what the situation.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I feel like there's a lot more communication in the
BDSM world.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
There's so much community, Like.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Why would they shut up?
Speaker 5 (23:03):
Now?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Tell me about your dungeon. I didn't even know. I
couldn't think of a better way to say it. To
help me about your dungeon.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
The best part of my dungeon is this hidden Oh
I have a secret room in my house.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yes, doesn't everyone want a secret?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Everyone wants? Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I went on this like TikTok like like whole the
other day where it was all these hidden rooms that
people put in their houses, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
One of my play partners made me a bookcase because
in front of the door frame and it happens to
be on a wall that looks like it's very natural
there because the walls angled. Yeah, and so nobody else
is there. And it's a big room too. It's a
second living area, so large, and it's full of lots
and lots of things.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Cabinet of curiosity.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Oh hello, I'll go chest out the furniture, go for
a swing.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Maybe we'll get one of that. I love it, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Renee walked in here looking like a sweet little old lady,
and she was sweet, but she's also into some dirty things.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Go your good thing.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
You've been listening to an iHeart Australia production concealed with utsimone.
Listen to more of what you love on iHeart and
to see what two.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Very unvanilla masses of their craft look like. Check us
out on the socials.
Well hallai, I'm back. Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And if you thought we don't cover every strange, peculiar
and eccentric wido, oh, you'd be oh so wrong. I've
been working so hard to uncover the little secrets and
strange things people are keeping concealed from the world, or
even concealed from me. So strap in and strap on
because things might get a little naughty.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
This is concealed with art simone, and I'm art Simone.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Duh. Let's meet our guests. Roll thata do it.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hi. My name is Renee. I have lived in Melbourne
since nineteen ninety eight, when I immigrated here from the
US to marry my internet love. I work as a
bus US this analyst on large scale IT projects and
business improvement projects. I manage a registered charity I started
in twenty fifteen and I'm currently building a new consulting business.
I have one daughter, who came with me from the
(01:12):
States and whom I'm very proud of. My interests in
hobbies are wide and varied, ranging from an extensive library
to a fishing coral marine tank, to visit historical sites
and traveling. I also like home crafts, make my own curtains,
put together booknooks and new cross stitch. But I'm concealing
another part of my life that some may consider quite dangerous.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
How every day? How are you good?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I loving to meet you. Thanks for coming into the
studio today. Now we've never met before. Let me describe you,
all right. We've got a beautiful nights. I'd say business
chik blazer on and ie broach Ooh.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
That's very fancy that.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It's my grandmother's.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh. I love that. We've got some pearls, but they're
like dark.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Pels, because yeah, dark, that's my thing.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I'm trying to pick them it so right, beautiful, all right,
nice tim short hair, spectacular spectacles. Now I have to
check are they prescription?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They are?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Oh good? All right, all right, I'll just check.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Because sometimes people come in here and they try to
fool me with the disguise. I don't want that to
be you today.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
No, I never disguised myself.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And you are slightly shorter because we have just had
a bit of a struggle trying to get you up
onto the studio chair today.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, I've got to pick it up, all right,
So a bit of background. So you move to your
nineteen ninety eight for a lover an internet love I did.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Oh can you tell me about that chat room? Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
We talked for about eight months. He flew me over here,
spent two weeks here, got engaged, kicked off the immigration
visa before I went home, waited five months, it came through,
and four weeks later my daughter and I were in Australia.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Oh, my goodness, loved good story.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Six months later I got married.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
And are you still together? We are?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Not six years?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Six and a half years, though, that's pretty good.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
It was a pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And you said I'm going to stick around though.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Oh absolutely, I'm a citizen. I renounced my US citizenship
in twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, so you're stuck with me. I'm running for prime
minister years.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, people, business analysts, Is that what you said?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yes? What is that?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Nobody knows? No, no, not even us. And we we
just sort to do everything we get on these projects
and then we tell people what we think they need
to know and what you do, and we document things
and we don't actually do a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Well, someone has to do it. I think one has
to do it. And amazed. I'll be you. You have
a lot of interests. I do you like to do
a lot of things? I get bored easy, Yes, the lot.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I've stopped writing them down because there were so many.
How do you how do you keep up with all
of those things?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I don't always.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I love that though. I love that.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I got to retire soon so I can do all
the things I'm interested in.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I love that. Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
So now I'm gonna ask you three questions, okay, and
from the answers to the three questions, plus with the
bit of the background info, I'm going to try and
work out what it is that you were concealing from me.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Question number one, what would you call your autobiography?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Well, I actually have one in progress because I also write.
I couldn't put everything down. I actually have about three
books in progress, but this one's called going Bold Bold
or bald Bold. So I had my head shaped for
charity some years ago and found it to be a
very difficult thing. It actually was the scariest thing I
(04:33):
ever did, to be honest, which was sort of surprised me.
So it was for the Lukemia Foundation. It was a
business thing and So my book is about taking risks
and how to really live a full life. You know,
you need to get out there, you need to take
some risks. You need to throw yourself sometimes into situations
that scare you a situations you don't know the outcome
(04:53):
if you're really going to have an exciting and interesting
life going.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
So I feel every time I take a week.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Off, I hated it.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, Question number two, what's an unusual thing that you
have in your house?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well, I have a lot of unusual things, you can bet.
But one of my favorites that people don't seem to
appreciate is a picture that I picked up from the
Men on Men exhibition at the Laired called Pancake Daddy.
And is this really big older guy, yes, who's stark naked.
He's laying on a stack of pancakes. Is that strawberries
(05:34):
in the background. He's pouring syrup over himself, you know,
and he's looking out like he's been discovered, and he
just he looks so happy, but he also looks so like,
oh my god, people are looking at me kind of thing.
And my partner and I just absolutely adore it. And
see my kitchen, So you can't really miss.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It, but that would make me appetised. Should we eat
in the kitchen? That would be true.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I'd walk and be like, oh I'm hungry. I don't
know why, Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And the third, where is the strangest place you've fallen
a slip?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well? I did.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
It's the strangest, but it's probably the worst place I
ever fell asleep. I used to have a beautiful little
Silver MX five that I was my pride and enjoyed.
And it's a sports car. It's a convertible. Yeah, it's
a little convertible that you really should go up there. Great,
it's a musta musta car. And uh yeah, So I
used to drive it a lot, like all the time,
(06:22):
and I used to go to parties a fair amount
when I was a few years younger. And I guess
I was getting older because it was one o three
am coming back from a health fire party and I
kind of ran into a tree and totaled it as
I fell asleep away from.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It. Was a bit of a party girl. Oh what
can I say?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, all right, God, I mean, I've got lots of
things in my head after all of this, but enough
they come together in a beautiful clear pitcher that can
hang in your kitchen.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
All right? So nat and audio going bald? Didn't like that?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Raise money leukemia pancake, Oh, sexy man on pancake, Oh yummy,
falling asleep. I had a nap in a master beautiful car,
but on the way back from a hell fire party.
All right, So there's lots of fun things going out, okay,
and crosstitch, Oh what is that pained for you? I
(07:19):
don't know's it's okay? And I are you a dominatrix close?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm a polyamorous, pan sexual, sadistic leather master who also
lived for a number of years as a full time
slave in a master slave relationship. I earned my cover
in twenty nineteen after twenty one years of actively practicing bbsm.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Oh Man, well done. We have a lot to go in.
I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I'm going to give myself a pattern the back for
that one, because I don't think I would have got
that so specific.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Ah, I'm going to take this one as a win.
I got a right, yes, oh, Renee. We have so
much to find out to do a leather master. Ah,
hydrids leather weather.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I'll go get.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Mine all right, So we are here with Renee, who
I got it pretty close, may not be a dominatrix,
but is a leather master amongst a whole amount of other.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Things as well.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Oh my goodness, let's let's go back to the basics.
To be a leather master, you have to be part
of the BDSM community. Can you tell me what BDSM is?
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So. BDSM is an acronym that came out in the
nineteen nineties to basically expand what was originally S and M,
which is cetamasochism. But it's a bit more than that,
so that sounds for bondage discipline cetamasochism, and the DS
can also stand for dominance and submission, which is power exchange,
so more the emotional side of things. And it's everything
(09:05):
from a lifestyle for some people to just a set
of activities. Some people's just a bedroom thing. Some people
it extends beyond that. Some people it's sexual, some people
it's not. So it's actually really deep and complicated and
has a long history, like eighty to ninety years of
history actually, which most people don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, I guess it's not like simply black and white
or one set of rules that apply to every single situation.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Right, No, No, absolutely not. The thing about BDSM is
that while we can have some general principles that we
say we apply and we say we apply broadly, it's
an individual thing. So anyone can actually do anything they want.
You know, if you spank your partner in the bedroom,
you're basically doing BDSM, whether anyone knows it or not.
Or you might be out at clubs, you might be
out at munches, which are social gatherings, you might be
(09:51):
running a business off of it. It's so wide and
so varied and so personal that you can't really, you know,
put it in a box and say it's just one
or two different things.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Now, how did you get involved into this world?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
How did it happen?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
By accident? Kind of? I had an internet relationship fall
apart in nineteen ninety six December in nineteen ninety six,
I was really upset and a friend of mine on
the internet. She said, come to these chat rooms with me.
You know, they'll divert you. So I went. One of
it was called Torture Chamber and the other one was
called Submission.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
And you said, oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I went in and she said, oh, oh, we have
to give you another name, oh, you know, and a
little bird and I was a little bird for years.
And I went in there and I said, Hugh, you
guys are really weird and I'm not like you, which
is really ironic now because my whole life has been
around that since. But yeah, it took a little while.
But they were lovely, lovely people, and they didn't care
(10:46):
what I thought of them, and they just said, yeah,
that's okay. You know you want to hang around, go ahead,
you don't want to hang around.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Leave So then you started in this chat room world,
and then how did you kind of branch off to
then what you do now, you know, or like in person?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, it was. And they like to say this because
a lot of people say, oh, if you're not doing
things in real life, you know, you're not really doing them,
especially now there's a lot of things about doing things
on the internet. But I made a lot of friendships,
a lot of relationships on the Internet that translated to
real life at some point. And so I spent about
five months playing around internet, six phone, six different relationships,
(11:26):
got some training from a guy in Seattle, and although
we didn't meet until later, and all kinds of things,
and after five months, I said, you know, I need
to see what this is really like. So I was
involved at that time with a cross dressing dominant in
New York and I lived in Montana, which is wait
far away, and he sent me a ticket and I
(11:47):
went spent a week with him, and after about three
days he said, nothing has to happen, and that was fine.
But after about three days something just sparked and we
got into it and it blew my mind and I
just never looked back. From there. I said, this is
my place, this is my people, this is what I needed,
This what I've been missing in my life. And I
came home and it was like, no, I have to
pursue this. So a year later I moved to Australia,
(12:11):
but I'd already met online the people here in the
community because they had their own chat rooms here called
Ospedism doesn't exist anymore. And so when I got here,
I was vetted by four women for two hours sake
sat together with me, talked with me, figured out who
I was, my ideas, my attitudes, what I knew, and
then they said, okay, you're all right, come to the
(12:33):
club on this night.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Wow. Really yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And I wait. My husband and I at the time,
we walked down an alley to a roller door.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Roller door went.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Up, big guys standing under a ball, you know, like
who are you? And then and then Belinda came out
and chained and nothing else and said, oh, they're with
me and that was our birthday party, and well be
bopped in and from then on, you know, we were accepted
into the community and invited to various things.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
So would you say the community is quite protective of
each other and themselves in terms of who they let
in to make sure they're the right fit or the
right vibe or what's that like?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Well, this is the problem. There was a place called
fet Life that came in almost ten years ago, I
guess now, And when we went on there, we thought
it was great because they had cleared out all the
chat rooms. The owners had come and stripped out all
the sex channels and the BDSM channels and we couldn't
meet there anymore, so we didn't have an online place
to go to. So we thought this was great, and
(13:33):
it was for a while, but because it was an
open forum and they wanted more people on and because
people started advertising events openly, we got flooded. We got
flooded and flooded and flooded, and we're still flooded. We
have thousands of people entering every year. Yeah, and that's
driven a lot of people underground.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Now.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
When I came in, Yeah, you had to be on
the list, you had to be known, you had to
have certain underlying principles that you accepted and agreed to
and worked with. We were very protective of each other,
even if we didn't like each other, because we needed
each other. Right. It was an underground and we acted
like an underground. You didn't know people's real name. That
was funny sometimes, what's that me being a drag queen?
(14:13):
I don't know half my friend's real names. I know
we went we were trying to get some credit. Once
my husband and I are like, oh, we should call
you know, we should call less and it's like, well,
what's their last name? We don't know? I didn't know, Well, yeah, hello,
you know, because it was very secretive, you know, it's
very about protecting people, not outing people, because it was
(14:36):
dangerous in the early days.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You're going to say, is that I'm sure there was
and they probably still is a bunch of stigma around
your community essentially.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Well, it's interesting, honestly because what I found being an
advocate and talking to what we call vanilla people, they
didn't like that much. Talking to them, I actually find
a lot more acceptance. Now that's not the way it
used to be, but a lot more acceptance now. On
some times, it's people within our community that are actually
less accepting than people outside. Where ten years ago, fifteen
(15:06):
years ago, Yeah, you couldn't really talk about it openly.
You could lose your job, you could lose your partner,
you could lose your family. There's still people who you'll
lose your family. There is still absolutely by some prejudice
out there. But there's a lot more acceptance than our
people sometimes understand. I mean, they're just too frightened to
find out earlier.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I use the term a mounch. Can you tell me
what a monch is?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Well, a monch is a non vanilla luncheon. Really, a
monch was actually created specifically in the old days to
encourage newcomers to come and meet us. So the rules
where you couldn't wear outrageous clothing or fetish style stuff,
you had to look very vanilla. You couldn't bring toys
(15:51):
and things. It was to encourage people to feel safe
with us, find out we're just people, you know, and
then go from there.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
It's good for people to meet the community and the
people around them.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
To get people out meeting real people. And I'm saying
we're not as scary as they say, at least not
outside ourselves.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
When consensual for everybody.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
When we're scary, up my dungeon scary.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So what is like, what does the scope of BDSM,
What does that look like for you?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Like, Oh, that's been a journey because I was very submissive.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I was.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
I found out that my sexuality was tied to BDSM
because for me, vanilla sex is just a no go,
no interest cirrial. I was nine years old, but after
my daughter was born, didn't miss it right. That was
before I found BDSM. So my sexuality is definitely around it.
But I also had submissive tendencies, so I did that
for a while. I served dominance. I was under contract
(16:50):
for a few months to one dominance.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
What does that mean under contract?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Well, we wrote up a contract, so we signed this
contract and then I served team. I served a few
others and then when I separated from my husband, I
decided to go for. I only wanted relationships within BDSM
because while he wanted to try it, it turned out not
to be his thing.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right, Okay, So I started.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Dating a man. We call it dating. I don't really
call it dating. We started to engage. We engage for
eight months. I said I was going to move out
of my house. He said, you'll move in with me.
I've signed the contract. Show Wednesday, I'll show you the place.
And so he became my master. He was my master
for seven years.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And in some of these scenarios, Amasa can have a
bunch of people, right, Well.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
If you're Polly, yes, right, So you can have monogamy
or you can have polyamory. And I've always been polyamorous.
I mean even when I was long before I met BDSM,
I was always had multiple dates and things like that.
So he really polyamory as a whole.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
She could open up, right.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
So we had agreements that, yes, there would be other people,
but the main thing was it was a true what
we call a total power exchange, which means that he
had all right and full control and he made all decisions.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, so I you know I went into that deliberately.
I wore a slave collar. I had a custom made
pendant when I had my hair done. The biggest thing
was that my collar in lock. Okay, I didn't realize.
I wasn't thinking about it until they shaved it off.
And then there were all of my colleagues were work there.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And so all the way Rise twenty four seven.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Twenty four to seven, it never came off.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Wow, you've cut your hair. People can see your padlock.
How does that go down? What's the situation there?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So there's forty consultants, you know, crammed into this little office,
too barbarous going, and I'm drinking wine, you know, get
my bravery up and my beautys and go for it,
go for it. And I sit in the chair and
he starts shaving them, thinking, oh my god, here's all
of my colleagues and I had long red hair, yes,
and it's coming off, and whether they've noticed or not,
they're definitely going to see this now. So I was
(18:53):
kind of expecting there to be some commentary. There wasn't
any commentary, but I heard a couple of years later
from one of the people that I used to work
with that one of the development guys wanted me fired.
But actually none of my colleagues ever spoke about it,
which I'm very appreciative.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
It's like, oh, that's an interesting locker you've got there,
it's around the wrong way. That's oh wow, maybe you
lost Tiffany, is it?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
So that lock was from your first relationship as a submissive.
So what was it like when you left that?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
So that was hard leaving that because a lot of
my life was around him and it took me five
months to leave my house besides like going to work
or groceries to break the mental bonds that I deliberately created.
And I knew what I was doing. I knew that
could happen.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
So when they're in charge of everything, is that everything
or is it just within the bedroom or scenario is
like that?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
No, it was everything, And that can make some people
don't understand that when you put yourself in that mental emotion,
you choose. That is a lifestyle. It's not like you
pick and choose. So even if something is really really difficult,
it is how do I serve? How do I maintain
this right? Because the old rules were that when you
(20:12):
stopped wying to do it, that ended the relationship. So
it's very serious stuff for some of us. A very
small proportion of the scene is went down that road,
and very few people go down that road now. But
I found a lot of value in it, and it
actually helped me in a lot of ways. I also
found things that you know, we think are so important,
I found really weren't all that important at the end
(20:35):
of the day, because I lived without them. After I
left him, I started training other submissives into the lifestyle
that sort of developed a dominant side. My first trainee
actually was trying to get into a relationship with me.
So three years after I trained her, I took her on.
She moved in with me. That was my first female
relationship in my fifties, and I was her master for
(20:57):
three years.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
What was that like from you know, that's full, that's
full full? It was really hard, Yeah, to start with.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I was actually angry to begin with, you know, because
like I was going to be a submissive slave forever
and I really really kind of angry at the change
for a while. But she really helped me. I mean,
she really loved my dominance and really encouraged me to
be the best I could be. And so I grew
into that a lot because of her, and I really
give her credit for that, but she decided to go
(21:27):
on another path down the road, and I don't switch back.
I don't have an interest in that, so I still play.
I have a polycule, so I have a primary and
two other partners.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So we kind of touched on this bit, like what
is the role of consent in the BDSM world?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Consent? See, I learned consent twenty five years ago, right,
which is wonderful you hear about it now. But that
kind of came because we became more open and we
started to talk about the things we did within. But
consent was what I was taught in the very beginning.
Nothing without consent. And the other thing I learned, which
is one of the things that really have focused me
(22:04):
on the lifestyle, is I had partners that cared about me,
that put the focus on what was happening to me.
So whether it was sexual or not, you know, it
wasn't like, oh, they got sex and they wandered off,
you know, it was no. Their job was to make
sure I had an amazing experience. But nothing ever happened
without discussion or talk. So I don't care what you
(22:27):
were doing if it wasn't on the cards or if
you said stop no, we had safe words. If that
came out, everything stopped. So being treated that way was
just eye opening and I could never go back, you know,
to vanilla life, because I know a lot of that
still happens in vanilla life. And I'm like, no, you
don't treat me that way. So we learned to really
(22:47):
stand up for ourselves and to say no, you're not
doing that. Yeah, right, no matter what the situation.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I feel like there's a lot more communication in the
BDSM world.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
There's so much community, Like.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Why would they shut up?
Speaker 5 (23:03):
Now?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Tell me about your dungeon. I didn't even know. I
couldn't think of a better way to say it. To
help me about your dungeon.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
The best part of my dungeon is this hidden Oh
I have a secret room in my house.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yes, doesn't everyone want a secret?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Everyone wants? Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I went on this like TikTok like like whole the
other day where it was all these hidden rooms that
people put in their houses, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
One of my play partners made me a bookcase because
in front of the door frame and it happens to
be on a wall that looks like it's very natural
there because the walls angled. Yeah, and so nobody else
is there. And it's a big room too. It's a
second living area, so large, and it's full of lots
and lots of things.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Cabinet of curiosity.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Oh hello, I'll go chest out the furniture, go for
a swing.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Maybe we'll get one of that. I love it, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Renee walked in here looking like a sweet little old lady,
and she was sweet, but she's also into some dirty things.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Go your good thing.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
You've been listening to an iHeart Australia production concealed with utsimone.
Listen to more of what you love on iHeart and
to see what two.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Very unvanilla masses of their craft look like. Check us
out on the socials.
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