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October 6, 2025 • 13 mins

Who wouldn't want to Art Simone on our tv screens again? Is it possible? Will she return? The short answer is yes, but under very specific conditions.

Everyone is a nepo baby in some sense of the word, Art benefits (kind of) form her nepotism in a very niche way, and like every nepo baby, she can't quite do it as well as Art Simone.

Is this the end? It's up to you... remember, mum's the word.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello, and welcome to the Palette Cleanser. My name is
Artsimone and it is over. Oh v a h, Yep,
it's over. It's the end of the season. Oh what
a wonderful season for it has been in all your
little e holes, you know, the pleasure is mine. But

(00:30):
I've had a really wonderful time bring you this new season,
this new style of episode with the Palette Cleanser. It's
been so wonderful to talk to new people, tell new stories,
and get a little bit more personal with all of you.
But the thing is, the thing that I want to
know is you know, as we plan a possible new season,
do you want us to come back? Do you want
to listen to more Palate Cleanser episodes? Do you want

(00:52):
more concealed people? I want to know what you the
listeners want, because I'll tell you what, as much as
I love talking to all of you, when I'm in
the studio, I can't see what you look like. I
don't know. I can't see you. There's no one to
talk back to, So I don't know if you've been
enjoying it, but I do imagine all your faces. You know,
there's a John over there there's a Sally over there,
and there's old Uncle Rick in the corner. Give me

(01:14):
the hairy eyeball. But that's the type of people I imagine.
But I want to know who is actually listening to
this podcast, who's enjoying it, who's listening to it when
they're on their morning walk, when they're driving to work,
when they're having sexy time. I don't mind different strokes
for different folks, emphasis on strokes. It's all up to you.
So what I want to do is I want to
give you a little code word, well code phrase, which

(01:39):
is Mum's the word. And I want you to head
into the comments on the Instagram. I want you to
go on to Apple and give a review. I want
you to go on to Spotify and you can do
reviews per episode, and please go and write mums the word.
Put a nice review in as well, be like, I
don't know, Artimona is really sexy and really talented and
so funny, Mum's the word, do you know? Just splice

(01:59):
it in there really now like that? And yes, you go, oh,
he's only get comments all the day, you know. It's
the comments are actually not just for me, because there's
a wonderful team of people that help make this podcast happen,
and a lot of powers that be that are higher
up in the world of podcasting who make some decisions
for certain podcasts, and if there's a lot of engagement

(02:20):
and love and appreciation, then they will happily possibly allow
us to continue, which would be really nice. I think
you can read between the lines or listen between the lines.
I don't know what the correct terminology is with the podcast.
I should have worked that out after four seasons. And
if you're listening and you're out there and you love
it and you want us to come back for another season,
please let us know. So. As we say in the industry,

(02:44):
Mum's the word. People often ask me out some mome,
When are we going to see you on TV again?
When is your big return to reality TV going to be? Well,
got some news for you, because I've decided I am
going to go back on reality TV. Yes, I'm going
to be back on TV. And what I'm going to

(03:04):
do is only return though if I can do The Bachelor,
and at that I want to do Celebrity Bachelor short
season five contestants and me because one I'm looking for love.
Two I'm not overly committed to being away for that long.
And three, I think a celeb would look nice on
my arm. So what I'm going to do is pitch
to you my dream ideal Bachelor season for me. Simone,

(03:28):
who am I gonna give my rosebud? Two I'll tell
you what the list goes as such. Number one, The
first contestant I would like on my season off the
Bachelor is Johnson from Johnson and Friends. You know, the elephant,
all the toy boxes that would come to love. I
did like the harmonica, no accordion, I did like the accordion,
and I did like the grumpy hot water bottle for

(03:50):
a while. But I think you know, I want a
leading man person. Elephant is Johnson A man, I don't know.
I don't ask their gender, but I want the non
binary elephant, Johnson from Johnson and Friends, big pink, fluffy elephant.
I think we'd have some great time. I've always wanted
to try of trunk. You know, the appendage could be
really fun to play with, but never know. And I've

(04:10):
been told I have a big nose, but it'd be
nice to have someone next to me with something slightly larger.
So you know, self conscious first, and number two on
my list for my ideal bachelor season would be Greg
Page from The Wiggles, The Yellow Wiggle, the og Yellow Wiggle.
There's just something about that, those fingers that do it
for me, and I think we'd have some great conversations.
He died once, and I think that's interesting. Maybe he's haunted.

(04:33):
I don't know. I haven't checked. Has anyone got a
Ouiji board around Greg Pages of recent Where's Dorothy? I'd
want to get the te too. You know, is Captain
Feathersword a little bit fruity? He looks it. I mean
it's the one hearing. Is it on the gay side,
I don't know. I don't know. There's rumors and I'd
like to find out. That's why I think it'd be
fun to at least go on a date with Greg Page,
the original Yellow Wiggle. He's also really tall and got
a deep voice. You know, it's kind of hot. I

(04:54):
never really thought of that as a child, but now
that I look back, Daddy Greg all right? Number three
for Gretel Colleen. Yes, I've gone rogue. I've gone for
a lovely lady. But Gretel is one of the most dominant, sexy,
powerful women, and I love her. I don't know, I
have some weird mummy complex around her. I've got the
hots for her. I don't know where it comes from.

(05:16):
I think she's so intelligent and smart. And I once
saw her play the narrator in the Rocky Horror Show
and she had a giant, big beehive and these like
hornroom glasses in a tight little leopard print skirt, and
I said, oh, Gretel. So I think Gretel has to
be there at least for a nice date, nice chin wag.
Next up is Huey from Huey's Cooking Adventures, the bil

(05:38):
King himself. I absolutely love him. I love a man
that can cook. I love a man that heavy breathes.
He loves to breathe heavily. And he's now on Instagram
and I love watching his reels or he cooks in
his little house on his little stove. And a man
who loves a te tail? What does he do with
that te tail? Which quite fun, wouldn't it? So? Yeah?
And the suspenders. You gotta love the suspenders. And they're

(06:00):
so fruity and fun, aren't they. They change around all the time,
you never know he's like wacky like that. You never
know what suspendeds he's going to put on for the day.
So I think they'd be fun just to mix it up.
And the final contestant I would like for my dream
season of The Bachelor Celebrity edition is actually a double entry,
but they'd be competing as one the home hardware dogs, Yes,

(06:23):
two for the price of one. One's yellow ones brown
might remind you of something, but I don't know. Polyamory
is really in let alone with a dog. Isn't that exciting?
A dog dog that can talk? I think you know
they've got and they're a bit rough around the edges,
rough rough indeed, And you know, I like people that
are good with hard things and wear things, and you know,
we don't see much of them, so I'd like to

(06:44):
find out this story, like what have they been up
to since they kind of got ousted from the home
hardware commercials? Like what is their life post fame? You know?
And in these Celebrities seasons, they always dig up some
celebrities that the public hasn't seen for a good ten, fifteen,
twenty years, So I'd like to know what they're up to.
I can't remember their names. I know they do have them,
but they're a duo entry, so it doesn't matter. So

(07:04):
I hope the producers are listening and you can join
me on my Celebrity Bachelor edition. And who knows? Who
do you think I'd go home with? Who would I
give the Ultimate Rose to? Is it Johnson? Is it Huey?
Is it Gretel? Is it Greg? Is it the Home
Hardware Dogs? You let me know which one you think
we'd get, my beautiful rosebud. Nepo babies, love them, love

(07:34):
to hate them. They're all around us and they're all
doing things that we wish we could do. You know
who are some famous NEPO babies. I've got Timothy Challomey, Oh,
Robert Irwin, he's a big NEPO baby. Lily Rose a
deep Marley Cyrus that's another one, Brooklyn Beckham of all
the Hadids. But I think that everyone is a little
bit of a NEPO baby, because everyone has been either

(07:56):
gifted something in life or a skill set or a
privilege for their parents. But it's just not on the
same scale as those really famous people. So what makes
you think of this is because I am a NEPO baby.
But I'm a nepo baby when it comes to entering competitions.
He's saying, what what do you mean? Well, my mother
loved and loves to enter competitions. If there's a chance

(08:19):
for her to win it, she will enter it. And
this was at its prime when I was a kid,
especially in my early teen years. Does anyone remember a
little publication called kazone magazine. It was for teen boys,
but there were so many prizes you could enter, and
all you had to do was write in twenty five
words or less a prompt and then mail it in

(08:39):
cost you fifty cents. Forty five cents at the time. God,
don't get me started. Dollars seventy to post a letter yesterday.
A stamp is a dollar seventy. I'm not going there today. Anyway,
it was a different time, forty five cents. Mum would
enter all these on behalf of the children. We'd also
do Coronella, which was the coloring in competition in one
of the newspapers. Mum would enter that on our behalf

(09:01):
as well. The morning Disney shows, Mum would enter those
competitions for US twenty five words or left center lock
bag three, four, five, six, Crow's Nests, New South Wales.
It's always something like that. And we'd enter these all
the time, and Mum would sit us down for like
a good hour of time and she was like, right,
you're going to write this and we're going to stick
some stickers on it. And then she's like, all right,
now use your left hand so you see them a

(09:23):
bit younger, and I write this. And we'd enter so
many times and then we'd we'd win. We would win
every time, and I tell you we would win. We
won so many things. I won a trip to the
Gold Coast to be the first ever person at Nickelodeon Central.
At dream World, I got to open it. I won
a game Boy Color game Boy with the Pokemon games.

(09:44):
I won like Harry Potter bed spreads, I won experiences.
I got to go to Locke selling Me Street on ice.
I wasn't the right age demographic for it, but I
want it. I used to go to movie premieres. I
used to get all this stuff and it was so sweet,
because you know, my family couldn't afford to give the
all these fun, cool hip things that all the kids had,
so instead we just throw a hat in the ring.

(10:06):
Enter these competitions and get to experience in that way.
So it was really really wonderful. But I think we
did push the limits to a lot of it, because
you know, when you're winning Kzone magazine competitions every single month,
it's been embarrassing. I can't believe they didn't block our
mailing address, but I think Mum would have had a
solution to that anyway. So I was definitely a NEPO
baby in that sense. You know, I got my passion

(10:26):
of competitions from my mother. But I think I am
true in the real sense of a NEPO baby because
I didn't quite get the skills and I haven't really
won a competition ever since. So Mum, if you're listening,
maybe you could enter drag race for me next time.
Arts advice it's advice from me. Yes, welcome back to

(10:49):
arts advice, where you get some advice from me. It
might not be good, it might be good. It depends
how you applied in your life. But I tell you what,
it's my advice and that's worth something you'll forgot. Hi,
it's Tom. I just wanted to know what the meaning
of life is. Oh, thank you so much for calling in.
Tom it's so lovely to hear you. The meaning of life?

(11:09):
That's a really simple question. Actually, I'm glad that finally
someone's asked that question. I don't think anyone actually has
asked that ever before in the history of the world,
the meaning of life? What's the meaning of life? Well,
don't worry. I've got you, because I've got three things
that will help you with that answer. So the first
thing is, don't think about death. I know it's scary,

(11:31):
but if you think about it, it's like a black hole.
You're going to be thinking about that forever, and it's
dark and it's daunting, and no one knows that there's
life after death. What's happening? Do I go to the clouds?
Do I go down into the pits of hell? I
don't know, but there's going to be a party there regardless.
Number two deep space. Don't think about deep space because
that literally is a black hole. You will get lost.

(11:52):
Don't go to space. Don't think about space. Maybe be
a bit of a space cadet. Sometimes that's a nice
way of living your life, a little bit up in
the clouds, but actually thinking about the space and how
small we are, absolutely not. And the third thing not
to think about is who the hell you are or
you know, essentially, what the meaning of life is like?
What's is it all worth it? No, it's not so

(12:14):
for your own mentality, and you're on safety within the world,
so we don't have to send you away. Just don't
think about it, and I think that is the meaning
of life. Don't think about it. Just live life, enjoy
the things around you, live your experiences. Some days are good,
some days are bad. Some people are good, some people
are really bad. But that's just it. Meaning of life

(12:37):
is there is none, and while that is hard to process,
it should be a little bit freeing to know that
nothing really matters. Okay, thank you so much. On that
really positive note, I'm going to go brush my wig.
Well that's the palate cleanser. And that is the final
episode of season four. I'm concealed with arts amone. Thank

(12:58):
you so much to everyone that has joined us over
the last four seasons of absolute tom Foolery. It's been
so wonderful that you've gladly invited me into your ehles
with such loving arms and adoration, and hopefully maybe we'll
be able to come back and see you for another
season of absolute fun. But don't forget. If you do
want to see more of us and hear more of us,

(13:20):
Mum's the word. So jump on to Apple leave a review,
Jump on to Spotify, leave some reviews on the different episodes,
Jump on the Instagram, leave some comments. Just send some
love our way, and hopefully, hopefully we'll be able to
come and entertain you once again. My name's utsimone. This
has been concealed with utsimone. Goodbye,
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