iiiiit's another palette cleanser!

What's happened since we last caught up? I've car jacked someone dressed as Kath Day-Knight, and had an awkward confession from an EX instagram follower.

But it's not just about me, no, I've pulled a lock of mangled hair for ARTifacts and giving you my fail safe tip to shade ANYONE without them realising.

One of you lovely people have turned to me for advice about social media etiquette, of course I deliver.

Want some advice? Just ask for it: https://www.speakpipe.com/concealedwithartsimone

Join me on the socials:
Instagram: instagram.com/concealedwithartsimone/
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@concealedwithartsimone

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello, it's art Zimone here and welcome back to the
Palate Cleanser. And what have I been up to this week? Well,
I recently carjack someone while I.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Was dressed as Cafday Night.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I thought I'd catch up with you and tell you
about what I've been up to recently, which was a
moment that I'm not very proud of, and I was
very embarrassed at the time and I can look back
on it and.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Laugh at it now.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
But recently I was in Sydney doing our Fountlakes in
Lockdown show. He had a return season there went splendidly,
thanks for asking everyone. But while I was there, I
had to go and do a bit of press. I'd
go out to another radio station. Can't say the name
here because you know, conflict of interest, Triple J. Anyway,
so I was at Triple J at the ABC studios

(00:57):
in Sydney and I did a Love Drive Time Live
cross and I was dressed as Cat Day Night at
the time because the interview was just before we had
our show for the evening. So I was like, look,
I'll do it in full drag, Cat drag, you know.
So I had my perm on, I had my knitche
to walk about one bat jumper, a nice Jenny Flatt,

(01:18):
and a white caperri from Miller's. So I was feeling
ultra glamorous and I had to get an uber back
to the theater and I ordered the uber and a
car drives up and it says my car's there, and
the number plate was like one XF, and I was like, perfect,
I looked one XF. So my wave with the guy

(01:39):
in the car gives me this look. But I'm used
to catching ubers in drag all the time and I
always get this look. Like every single time, I get
this weird like oh, like they're always scared that there's
a drag queen.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
So I was like, oh, well this checks out. Yes. Hello.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
So I just opened the door after waving at this
man and he still looks a bit confused. I'm like hi, yep,
and he's like no, no, no, no no, And I
was like ha ha ha ha ha because this happens
to me in ubers all the time.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
They freak out because they're.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Like, oh, do a queen all so scary and he's
like no, no, no, no no no, And I was like, no,
that's me, yes, yes, that's me, and He's like no, no, no,
no no, and I'm looking at him to be confused
because I'm cathay Night and he's not clearly enjoying the experience.
And I sit in the back seat and he's like, no, no,

(02:29):
no no. I was like Uber Uber for art, and
he's like, no, I'm not an Uber driver.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
And I.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Had to quickly step out of that car and apologize
profusely while just as cathday Night and look across the
car lot and there there is another car with exactly
the first three letters and numbers as the number plate
that I had just got into, and realized that he
was in fact correct, that he wasn't an Uber driver,

(03:01):
and I wasn't mean to be in his car. So look,
that was very degrading, and I'm sorry for tarnishing the
image of Cafe Night. I am really, really sorry, Jane Turner.
I think that would be the first time I've been
fairly kicked out of an Uber, because you know, I
get kicked out all the time because I'm a drag queen.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
They freak out.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
But I got kicked out of an Uber and it
wasn't even an Uber, and look, I will have to
apologize it did just describe and say what the model
and make of the car is. But I'm a gay person,
so if you expect me to understand what a Toyota
camera is versus a hold on something like that, I
don't even know what the symbols are, so of course
I got confused. Anyways, that's what I've been up to,
a carjacking people's car. So I hope you got some

(03:41):
joy out of that, because I am still a bit scarred.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Artifacts.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Okay, it's time for artifacts, which is show and tell
for big kids, and today I have brought in a
haunted wig to tell a story about for everyone here today,
and I'm very excited. Let's take you back to a
recent occurrence that happened, which was unfortunately the passing of
Jitterly Cally and Tay, who is a star of stage

(04:11):
and screen. You may know her from RuPaul's Drag Race,
you may know her from Pose, you may know her
from a stage near you, very very iconic and fun
and fabulous person who for a lot of us queer people,
we grew up watching her on drag Race and seeing
her shine and seeing her faux pas as well.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
We know that she.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Really couldn't pull together out if her position in a
competition depended on it, and I can relate to that.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
But yeah, we unfortunately lost her. But what it reminded
me of was that I was very fortunate to tour
with her across Europe. We lived in a tour bus together.
It was very, very fun. It was my first ever
international tour. I was green as they come, and she
was a very very wonderful person to work with and

(04:56):
kind of took me under it wing and was really
really really nice. And we got to the end of
this tour and it was a Halloween theme tour, but
it was in like March, don't ask, don't go there,
so she we all had like, you know, we're a
Halloween esque so for her Halloween meant that she was
going to dress as Jasmine from Aladdin. And she got

(05:16):
to the end of the tour and she had this
hair piece which I brought in for everyone here today.
It's this beautiful black wig with these bejeweled i'd say,
like clips that go through it.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
They look like little bracelets for ants, but not unlike,
of course Jasmine's ponytail from the cartoon. She is looking
a bit worse for wear. I will look, it looks
like I strangled Hagrid and put some crystals through his beard.
And I'm really sorry, but it wasn't a lot better
nick when it was in the bind. So but I

(05:46):
think that it's actually getting scragglier because Jiggilye is haunting
it and that's her souldest now the compossessed. No, it
does look like a ball of pubes. I'm sorry, but
very very beautiful. And she pulled this off out of
off the back of her head and threw it in
the beam and I looked at it. I was like,
what are you doing? Like why are you throwing this

(06:07):
in the beach, And she's like, I don't need it anymore.
I looked at this wig that had only been used
on this tour and still with the She didn't even
pull out the badazzled like jewels and things. She just
napped in the bin it goes and I said, take that,
and she looked at me and she's like, okay, I guess.
I was like, oh, thank you. You know, And this
is a natural process for me because I am a collector.

(06:27):
I will collect anything and everything. I am a complete
magpie of drag, whether it's dolls or whether it's drag paraphernalia,
or whether it's movies or horror items or collecting calories.
So I'm very grateful I did in that moment because
I now have this haunted Jiggly Cally and tape wig.
When I got it home, I pinned it up on

(06:49):
the wall in my office and sent her a picture.
And I don't think she thought I was any more
sane than what she thought on the tour. I do
have another story that I wish I could tell you
about Jiggily CALLI and te that happened. But the only
thing I'll say is when you go on a tour bus,
the first thing they tell you, because you're living on
this bus for a couple of weeks, do not take
a dump on the tour bus. It's for number ones only,

(07:12):
not number two's. And all I can say is that
I went down to do a number one halfway through
one of the evenings. I got out of my coffin
of a bunk and someone had forgotten to lock the door,
and I saw no name person can't say who squatting
over a toilet seat doing a number two in a
garbage bag so she could throw it out Because you

(07:33):
can't clog up the toilet.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, probably bleep all of that out anyway.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
I encourage everyone to collect drag droppings, haunt wigs, and
don't dump on a bus.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Concealed weapons.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Welcome to concealed weapons, where you get hacks from a hack.
And this week this one's from me. You sometimes certain
know what to say in a sexual circumstance. Are you
bad at lying? Are you bad at you know someone
comes to you and they go, oh, do you like
my dress? And you know you don't want to hurt
their feelings or you know, point out that they look

(08:13):
incredibly hideous. Well, I've got the tip for you. All
you need to say are these three words, and it
works every time. I'm telling you, I have used this
for my entire career, and I apologize to anyone that
has had these words.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Come out of my mouth. Now look at you, that's
all you say.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
You say, look at you, and instead of them going
oh oh, they go yes, look at me because they
think they look amazing. And you can use it in
any circumstance. And you don't know, I don't know what
to say. Someone goes, oh no, the world's ending, look
at you, and they look at themselves and they go, oh, yeah,
that's fun. They go, oh, no, my car, I just

(08:51):
crushed my car. Look at you and they go, oh,
go'stop it.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Look at me.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
It's really great for deflecting anything. It's really great for
you just feeling any silence. It is the ultimate form
of phrase, and I encourage anyone to use it whenever
they feel appropriate.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Try it today.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Put it into a sentence. Someone comes you at work
at lunch and says, do you want to taste this?
I bake this for the room, And you taste it
and you go, oh, it's not very good.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
You go look at you.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
I feel so proud because they baked and hopefully didn't
use mushrooms and a dehydrader.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
But anyway, feel free to use look at you whenever
you are in a social circumstance that you feel uncomfortable,
don't know what to say, or want to make someone
feel good even though they should really be feeling bad.
Arts advice. It's advice from me, all right, It's time

(09:43):
for arts advice. Where you ask a question, I'll give
you some advice, even though it may not be the
advice you're looking for.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
I have a question around social media etiquette. I've met
a friend of a friend a couple of times, but
I wouldn't consider as friends or someone that i'd even
want to be friends with. Really really hung out with
her because I had to. She's just started following me
on Instagram, and I don't want to follow her back.
But I have a private Instagram, so she'll see that
I've accepted her request and then realize I didn't follow
her back. What should I do? What are the rules

(10:12):
around social media etiquette?

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Don't follow her back? Don't pollute your timeline with bullshit
that you don't need to see. Don't I don't care
about the pleasantries anymore. Your time is sacred, Your timeline
is sacred, and who cares about her feelings? If it
was Facebook, you have to accept go for it. But
that's because no one uses Facebook and no one cares.
But your Instagram timeline is so so sacred. And also

(10:37):
I don't want to be rude, But don't be so
up yourself that you think she's like looking up to
see whether you follow her back, because she probably isn't.
I recently had a situation that happened with a man
friend that I have been seeing on and off for
three years, and I got a text from him literally
like two weeks ago, and he goes, this is really embarrassing,
but I have to follow you on Instagram now because

(11:00):
I accidentally unfollowed you three years ago and you obviously
didn't notice. And if you get a follow requests don't
make it fit bad. So I didn't even notice. But
the thing with him, though, is he replies to my
stories but doesn't follow me well at the time, so
he would have to be like searching my profile to
keep up the illusion. Anyway, don't follow her. I don't care,

(11:23):
or make a fake account.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
I don't know. It depends how much you care about
your timeline. But I wouldn't bother about it.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
So hopefully I've given you the advice that you secretly wanted,
which I think you did. That's the tone of that,
that you really just wanted someone to confirm that. Don't
follow her, and who knows. Maybe you'll become friends. It
doesn't sound like you will, And don't worry because when
you see each other in person, just be like, I
don't follow you because I don't like you. Maybe that'll
work for you. No, No, no, no, really, just don't

(11:55):
acknowledge anything. If there's one thing that I know is
if you don't acknowledge it, you can ignore it and
pretend it doesn't happen, and then you don't have to
feel uncomfortable in any social circumstances. Be oblivious to the world.
No one cares unless you're genuinely interested. Then go follow
her and leave her hate comments. Now, if you have
any questions that you need advice to make sure you

(12:16):
jump onto the socials or in the show notes and
send it an email or a voice note, and I
will give you my unsolicited and extremely helpful advice free
of charge. I'm that generous. Well, that has been this
week's palette cleanser. Thank you so much for joining me here.
Now don't forget. Next week we have a regular episode

(12:38):
of Concealed with a special guest who is Mark. And
the most interesting thing that I can say about him
is that he is a straight man. Yes, I'm risking
my life and I'm going to be in the studio
with a straight man straighty one eighty who is concealing
something that involves Samuel L.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Jackson, Who's that I don't know. I don't forget to
send in your most notes.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
If you want to jump on the soapbox, or if
you want some art advice, we're here. My podcast is
for you and you guys only, so we'll see you
next week. My name is Artsimone and you are fabulous. Goodbye,

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