August 25, 2025 • 25 mins
The luckiest drag queen alive is wrapping up a MAMMOTH four weeks in the fun, creepy, ugly Edinburgh! But it wasn't all smooth sailing, bird shit in wigs, a rush to hospital, and a beared Sharon.
Then, winner of Drag Race Down Under Season 4, Lazy Susan pops in to tell us about being ON FIRE... literally, with a few tangents of course.
We want to hear form YOU! Need some advice? Have a cursed hack to share? Want to plug something? I dare you to leave a voice message, go on, I dare you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello, it's artzimone here and I am officially the luckiest
drag queen in the entire world. Welcome to the Balot Cleanser.
Let's get into it. Yes, we are still here in
Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival. It is the tail end
of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. We've been here for oh
(00:29):
my goodness, four weeks now a bit longer than that,
and we have been through it. I have stories for you,
I have updates for you. It's been a really fabulous experience.
But a lot of things have happened, okay, and the
first one is that I am the most luckiest drag
queen in the entire world. I've decided because while I
was dressed as cath day night on the Royal Mile
(00:51):
where famously there's all the buskers during Fringe Festival, the
Raw Male, you know, you walk all the way up
to it, and there's Edinburgh Castle, but there's also all
the peaceeople that have to fly for their show. So
pre or post show performers will go out there with
flyers and sell their wares, try and get people bums
on seats, et cetera, et cetera. So we were there
(01:11):
a post show. We're actually there for a bit more
of a celebration one, but we said, you know, we'll
go out in our Kath and Kim Brigalia for fountain
Lags in lockdown our show, and we'll passive flyer, which
is a term we coined because you have to have
a lot of confidences to walk up to someone and
hand them a flyer and say come to my show.
So we decided if we just look like we're having
a great time, people might come up to us and
(01:32):
grab a flyer off us. So we decided that the
best place for us to have a good time would
be in a pub out on the street, drinking some
lovely prosecco and celebrating a wonderful show. And if people
came along and wanted a fly or a photo, we'd
do it then. And we were sitting at this lovely
year old Scottish pub. I mean it's probably been there
(01:54):
for three years, but it looked old. And I felt
something on my head and I said, what's that. Bear
in mind, I am dressed as casday night here, so
I've got a perm wig one, I've got a jumper,
but I feel something in my head and I touched
my wig and I pull out my hand and there
is neon green fluid on my hands, and I go, oh, no,
(02:15):
it's happened, hasn't it. Yes, that's right. A seagull, a
giant Scottish seagull, shat on my head while dressed as
catesday Night. And some people may go shock in horror
and be like, oh my god, that's the worst thing
that could ever happened to you. And sure, but the
good news is it's a week and I can put
it in the washing machine, so that's good. But it
was so random of all the people for a seagull
(02:35):
to poo on it was me. It even had little
seeds in it. It was fail but we did record it.
So if you want to see the aftermath of me
realizing I have bird poo in my hair dressed as
catthday Night, jump on the socials and you'll see it there.
But look, I think that is maybe a telling sign
of what the Edinburgh Fringe experience has been, because we
have had our ups and downs. I tell you what
the biggest thing, of course, is that our lovely Maxine
(02:58):
Laurie shield our Sharon in this sea and she got
sick at the beginning of the fourth week and was
rushed to hospital. It was very dramatic. There was blood,
there was fluids, there was an ambulance. It was all
very scary and luckily Maxi is stable and safe at
the moment, but there was drama a plenty because we
still had a week full of shows. After we got
her into the hospital and under some good care and stable,
(03:20):
we realized we've got five more shows and we don't
have a Sharon. And you know, although the show is
called Kat and Kim, there's also a Sharon involved. So
we had to dredge through the talent of Edinburgh Fringe
and luckily there are a lot of out of work
actually well they're in work, but they're gig hungry Australian performers.
(03:41):
So we luckily found a wonderful performer from another parody
show which is called Breaking the Musical, which is a
musical about an Olympian that may or may not have
a name that sounds like spray Gun ray Gun. They
did get sued by her so that they can't use
that name whatsoever. But we got this lovely pfomer named
Jaredy came in learnt the show within twenty four hours
(04:02):
and jumped on stage as Sharon's tressluckly and has been
doing an absolute fabulous job while we've been here. The
only thing is Sharon now has a beard, and I
don't know if that's on canon. We've just been telling
people that Sharon forgot to take her hormones over to
Scotland and that's why it's happened. But it's been absolutely crazy,
but we've had such wonderful audiences. I've been able to
(04:23):
do some nice tourism while I've been here, which has
been really cool, because you know, I did used to
make a Draculas and I'm a bit of an uky
spooky person. I got to go and do the Edinburgh
Dungeon Experience, which is basically where I would say very
young UNI students taking a class in acting would be working.
It was so camp. There was like rides in it,
(04:44):
there was uky spooky scenes, so just drama student galore.
But they didn't allow photos in it, so I couldn't
even show you any of it, but it was so
so much fun. I went to Mary's King's Close, which
is like an underground like street I don't know, and
then I also I went up to the Edinburgh Castle,
which was nice to be on top of the world.
But safe space here, it's safe space here. I was looking.
(05:07):
I was standing on at the castle looking over. They
did the one pm cannonball shop thing, all exciting, and
I looked over Edinburgh and I looked again, and I thought,
this place is kind of ugly, isn't it like lovely?
Like old and cool, but like kind of ugly anyway,
But it's been a really great experience. I am excited
to come home, though, because you know me, or like
(05:29):
to be at home. I locked it in a place
where I understand that understand me. And I did get
some really bad news while I've been here, and that's that.
And just like that, you know, my favorite show to
hate has been canceled. They're not renewing the season, which
has really upset me because I think the only reason
that they've canceled it is because I haven't been able
(05:51):
to watch it because I can't get bloody HBO Max here.
I'm't able to watch HBO Max. So I think they've
canceled it because I haven't been in the country. So
for everyone that loves to hate watch that show, I'm
apologizing because I think it's all my fault. I really
think it's all my fault. But anyway, I'm coming home.
I'm very excited to see you all, and I'm very
excited for this episode because we have a very extra
(06:13):
special guest.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Hi. My name is Lazy Susan. I am the winner
of Drag Race down Under and I once lit myself
on fire in the Kick on set.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hello, miss Lazy Susan. We're going to unpack that in
just a moment, because this is news to me on
the famed Kick on set. But if people don't know
you are obviously the current reigning winner of Drag Race
down Under, can't relate. I don't know how it feels.
Q sad Violey.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
If you want to taste so what, you can buy
Spanky Sceptor at the moment.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yes, Spanky Scepter is and that's not a euphemism. Her
sceptor is currently up for grabs at the moment.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Three thousand n z D. You could be part of
drag Race history.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Unfortunately I don't have enough money because I didn't but
the crown from me. That's true, I'll put on load.
But people don't know. We knew each other way before.
The world of drag Race connected us. Gosh, how long
ten years? Maybe it's been a long at least a
decade that I know, and the tables have turned today
(07:17):
because you're in full geiche and I am in goblin mode.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I know because we've worked on many projects that would
have worked on Amy.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
We've worked on the Wiggles for.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yes, or we did so to stream campaign together, the
Art Therapy series.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh my god, how could we forget? We've really done
it all.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
But traditionally you've been on the other side of the
camera in goblin mode as a wonderful rider, director, editor,
and just all around kook. Now people may not also
realize this, but if you have gone and watched Highway
to Heel, of which not many people.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Have the Presents app and you go into the d
do you arcove.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah, you have to search for it to actively go
out and find it. I do have a link on
my link tree, so you could go and look at there.
I think it still works. But if you do happen
to see it, you actually feature in every single episode.
It's true.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I'm the hidden MICKI.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah. People don't realize this because we shot this entire
mini series on the inside of a car during COVID
when it's all we could do, and it was a
crazy game show esca thing.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
We were like the conceit is like it's just you
driving to your gig and so and you're always taking
a different drag queen to go and perform at piano bar. Yes,
and we like each one had a theme. So it
was like a cooking show in arts car, a quiz
show in arts card show.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
We were just like doing a spoof of different reality
shows and be like what can fit inside of arts
Yaris and I would sit in the backseat of the car,
but we built this like faux wall, junk drag wall
that kind of looked like it was a pile of
stuff that was actually just a very thin veneer and
I would sit behind there in the heat of the
arras with like three human adult bodies sometimes four, just
(09:11):
like roasting, and I'd be monitoring the sound and dying.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And then every now and then a little goblin mode
hand would come out and as for a little snack
or a little tree.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I just want a little tree, but also batter is out,
Like we really didn't have the budget clearly I think
we got I'm sure we can say this now, but
like I think we've got like five thousand dollars for
that to make six episodes of that shah.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, and that wasps that we didn't.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I still have those.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, they're just on loan, yeah, because we're kicking them
for the season two. Yaway.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
You've got a new car now, though.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I know it wouldn't really match, but I still have
the mirror that film a box ripped off the side
of my car, and I still have your box enclosure.
I saved it to the case just the case well,
because they changed the laws in Victoria and you can't
film while anymore at all.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and we were not always the most conscientious drivers.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Some of those shots were getting those shots of the
car from the outside, and we had our videographer, Peter,
and it was literally like hanging out the side of
a car while someone else was it was.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It was the one. It was the eighties. I don't know,
it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
But we've both got a lot of things. Yeah, And
one of those shows is kick Ons, Yes, which is
above your garage lush atrium loft.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I am in like a you know, a north side chateau,
and like many North Side chateaus, it has places that
were clearly once inhabited by like a small orphan child. It's,
you know, kind of a ring situation. So there's this
weird loft garage that like is just musty and dust.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And it's unaccessible viral ladder and like, and it's big enough.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It's like a really high ceilings. It's got like three
and a half meter high ceilings. And so when it
came time, when season two of Drag Race down Under
was coming out, we were like we should do something,
and so then we set up a whole backyard in
the shed and shot it on like three pretty shitty
cameras and just two mics, and it was like it
(11:17):
became a kind of fabulous time.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Well, everyone said it was produced better than drag Raced.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Well, when people come up to that shed, because that
haunted backyard is still there, obviously because we're done three
seasons there, they're like, it's shot here.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And you're like, yes, it's very glamorous. You know, there's
a piece of black tarping that falls down and you
have to do a lot of day shoots. Last season,
the sunlight would just coming and hit.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yeah, and it's like corrugated iron, like it's not the
mod cons it has no air con, it has no
heating and what happened? Okay, so here we arrived? When
was this Ashneiko? Are you familiar with the artist Eshneiko?
She's one of the like kind of z here TikTok Like, sorry, Shneaker,
(12:02):
I don't want to come for your spot, but like yeah,
but like occasionally Warner Music Australia will reach out and
be like, will you consider doing like a list to
the song? Yeah, but this was like it predated like
the expensiveness of TikTok. So it was like, would you
consider sending us a video of you lip syncing to
Ashneiker's new song Daisy? And I was like yeah, and
(12:24):
they like to go into like a video yeah, and
then they'll.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Do a video.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
It was like, I want to Australia like attempting to
do something viral. But it's clearly like one in turn
who's like I like drag and I'm going to book
a bunch of drag queens to do this and pay
two hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Because you got paid. I once got offered to do
something similar. They're like, can you use this artist sound
on TikTok? And I was like, oh, I guess because
they're trying to make it a viral sound. And they're like,
we'll pay to sponsor the post and I was, oh,
You're like.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Wow, I get like three hundred you'll pay for the
advertisement of your so beautiful. That was the other thing
we worked on when during I think it was like
mid like a break between two lockdowns in Melbourne, you
were booked to do the Amazon release of Cinderella Picture Content.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The only reason that I know that film exists because
we had to really think about, like the worst adaptation,
what was it? Dina Monzelle and then it was that
little one Lavender marriage Sewn Mendees and Camilla Cabeo. Camila
Cabeo and James Corden was one of the main diva
(13:34):
that was haunted.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Okay, so let's preface this. So basically this movie was
coming out on Amazon Prime. They wanted to get people
to watch it. So some intern some in turn, was like,
what if you get three drag queens to transfer themselves
into different characters from the So I knew someone wouldn't
want to be like Cinderella. Someone want to be the beautiful,
you know, fairy godmother. So I was like to be
an ugly step sister and they're like okay, So I
(13:59):
was like, yeah, I canna do prosthetics, look really ugly
and everything. But what the idea was as we did
this makeup tutorial you can find it's online, but they
would ask you questions to talk about the film and
be like, I really loved how James Cotton did this,
and it was like full flashbacks of Drag Race sell
these things. And it was shot during lockdown and COVID
and everything, so I had like a video call on
(14:20):
and then two cameras running and then like trying to answer.
It was just so painful, but we had to watch
the film. We got to watch it earlier. It was
just so bad, so bad.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So the good people who paid us all paid you
to advertise that that was not a good movie.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I made you and our good friend Mum the Drag
Queen watch as well, to like try and come up
with some quips or jokes.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
What could the script be? And like that anyway, very funny,
But this was one of those situations. So once again
I enlisted Mum sage Queen Mum to come up, and
I was like, okay, this song is like this is
on the ninstance you like, and I was like yeah, okay,
And so I was like, you know, when, like I
(15:08):
don't know, a forty eight year old man shows up
at a kid's like schoolies event with a hat on backwards,
like that was the energy I was doing. And I
was like, I'm like, ashneiko a very cool like TikTok girly.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And so I was like, I'm gonna pull out this
like daisy from Bunnings Warehouse and then I'm gonna have
it like lid on fire and like holding it in
my hand as I'm like singing this like quite lyrically
complex song. And if you've seen the finale episode of
Drag racend Under, perhaps you know that I'm not the
world's greatest lip singer. And so this whole thing was
(15:42):
going on, and I was like, uh huh. Anyway, so
we're up in the shed, up in the kick on set, and.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Well, because it does, it ends up being like a
bit of a studio for you, yeah, you know when
we're darn Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It's like how they shoot the block in the down
Under bet if you don't know this. In Drag Race
down Under, they have this like set in New Zealand
or the Shed and they just put up like mask
seeming walls over the pink walls and then they shoot
the block, but it's still like haunted by Like imagine
just like the walls over RuPaul's smiling face in the
(16:15):
dusk and.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
The archaeologist that go back there to finally get ready
for season when it happens, trying.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
To feel it back and be like, whoa, these people
must have lived. But yeah, so I'm like, okay, I'm
gonna soak this in like a methylated spirit. Wouldn't I
I could have anyway, So Mum Drag Queen Mum is
filming and I'm like, for safety's sake, I'll have like
(16:40):
a like a milo tin metal beneath it so I
can just drop it if it like the fire is
going too crazy. And like I'm trying to remember the
lyrics this song and it's like I'm like quickly dousing
it in something and it's like metholated spirits running down
my arm and then I'm like light the match, lip
syncing singing on this green screen with a fan in
(17:02):
my face, just trying to like serve it, and then
you know, a metholated spirit flame is like so it's
like blue, it's almost invisible. And the second it hits
my hand, it drips down onto where there's like a
puddle of metholated spirits from where I've just poured it
casually and nonchalant, and then it like runs off my
head lights that on fire, and then it runs along
(17:24):
the stream of metholated spirits that are dripped down across
the wooden floorboards in the second story, one room, one
escape room.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
How do you get out of there? You can't, you die,
There is no safety, there is none.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
And then it runs across to the bottle of methylated
spirits that is full and the lid is off, and
immediately is around the bottom of this giant one point
two to five liter bottle of metholated spirits and it
melts the bottom and then the whole bottle tips.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
As quick as this happening, or it's like one of
those movie things where you're just watching one.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Everything. Then he's like, and the thing is, we have
footage of this and it's me going and then you
hear like we get up and I'm like, we're running
out of the room, out of the like one exit
trap door. Mom grabs the camera, picks it up, walks
(18:24):
five steps and just throws it into the corner and
like fuck that, we're out. And then we get out
and the camera just turns and you see everything is
engulfed in flame, and we're like and then we run
and we're also very drunk, like we've been dating. Yeah,
because I'm like, and there is like one hose that's
(18:46):
in the backyard looks down stairs, which is famously where
like a man named Greek Daddy on Grinder wants douched
in my backyard with.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That hose this story, I know, fuck.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
God love him.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
He was in my house.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Saints were asleep inside. He couldn't go in. We didn't
have the shower shot.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
No, I understand. I've got some very interesting stories about
tomato sauce bottles for another another day.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
But so we run the hose upstairs, but it like
does that thing where it like goes to the final
step and like you know, you're just not to the fire,
Like it's about two meters away from the fire and
the waters gushing out, but it's not getting to the fire. Also,
you don't spray water on a chemical fire kids at home,
oh like, because it just sits on top of it,
(19:31):
still on fire. It's a chemical fire. Anyway, everything is burning.
I'm spraying the fire with my little finger over the
nozzle like I'm doing a kid's fire, like you know,
water fire.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Now you're doing like a bachelorette.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I look crazy as well, because I looked so busted.
I had this like little ribbon wig made out of
blue ribbon because I was.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Like an actually.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Anyway, so like, and then like seemingly the fire is out,
I can't downstairs, Me and mam are just looking at
each other like, and they were like it was smoke everywhere.
Like We're just like, I'm just gonna go back up
and check because I think the fires are still going.
And then I go upstairs and it's like, you're still
(20:18):
on fire? Was it? Use store so much of your
drag up there, and it's all synthetic, so it's melting
into like a gooey pile. But then I remember that
my friend's mom had gifted me the woolen suit that
her ex husband had worn in their wedding day. You
know how mums will do these vengeful shit. Ye, take
this weird in drag fuck that guy, and I remember
(20:41):
it's one hundred percent wool, And I'm like, wool wool
versus fire always a good way because because like I
grew up in the hills and like there are fires
all the time, and they tell you like put on
a woolen jumper and soak it in water if you're
like ever in a fire.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh yeah, wow, you've missed your calling. I think you
need to start doing brand and best of a ship
for the bush firefety years. Yeah, you go into schools
and be like all up now, kiddies, Yeah you remember,
very knowledgeable.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
And so I throw this like seventies woolen suit over
the flame and like start like smothering it just with
my hands, and managed to get this entire large area.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Of island drag.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, well debatable. I don't think i'd call it drive now,
but I'm definitely in like make of a challenge shake,
and like it finally goes out and the smoke has
just got nowhere to go because the room is just
like completely sealed. And then we go downstairs and we
just stare at each other for a while, and I
think because it was like a chemical fire didn't actually
(21:42):
like get into the wood or anything like, it didn't
burn through the floor. Oh okay, Like it was like
sitting on top like a flombay kind of situation. It
was so over dramatic that fire. She was too much.
And then for the next few nights I just had
like moments where I'd wake up.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
And liked, now did you did you get the shot
in the end? Yeah? Oh good?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And then it went together and I was like, that
wasn't worth it.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Soapbox, all right, It's time for the soapbox Miss Lazy Suasan,
where you get to pitch whatever you want. You get
to use my airspace to promo whatever you feel like.
It's my gift to you. You've got thirty seconds on
the clock. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Okay. You can follow me now on Miss Lazy's Suasan
on Instagram and TikTok. You can also listen to no
podcasts sorry cross promotions, but here we are Death to Everyone,
which is on where other podcasts are found, and you
can also just go and find me out in the scene.
I'm going to do lots of you know, bingos with
Miss Gabrielle bouchie at the moment, that's hues. I'm going
to Edinburgh with my new show in the Fountain Legs
(22:52):
in lockdown. You know they don't know that yet, but
I have been cast in the roll of carry and
just come and see me in heaven.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
When you die. Time is Time is goddamn upset. Though
you didn't promo your film, I thought you give a
little plugged your film. Okay, well it's because we're doing
extra five seconds for the film because I'm gifting you
that cue.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We were like in the midst of securing funding for
a film that I'm trying to make, which is very exciting,
which has been now misreported in three gay publications, not
our greatest journalist as I went and had my film
premiere at the can Film Festival. And I love the
lack of research and I love that. Yeah, I guess
I did premiere at can this year and no one's
seen this film.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
That's all that it takes. It's incredible. These guys like, yeah,
I'm sure it happened over there. I didn't go there.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Maybe it exists. I'm like, do you think that? When
do you think I made the feature film during what time? No?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And what is a film called? You know, how can
we supportently?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I mean, I don't know. This is going to change
over the okay, but currently we're trying to get a
drag queen horror film, not starring myself, but written and
directed by myself. It's a horror feature called Skin Side
Up and where you know in the midst in the midst.
So hopefully there's more news to come there. And once
we kick off production, I'll stop being a human being
and start just being a riddled mess.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Hey, all things come back to normal. That's right, everything turns,
it's beautiful. Well, thank you miss lazy Susan popping in,
sharing some stories and being an absolute menace.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
This is the shortest podcast I've ever been on, and.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
It's nothing compared to your two hours and five hundred minutes.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, no, enjoy this. This is a gorgeous snack. This
is a fabulous snack to doing the gym.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
A little teaser.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, we'll see you in hell.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Art Simon, thank you so much for joining us here
you're at the Palate cleanser. It's been an absolute pleasure
being in your e holes once again. Don't forget We've
got a regular episode of concealed again next week, and
our special guest is someone called Tim, and for the
first time in a long time, I actually recognize this
(24:56):
person the minute they popped onto my screen, and maybe
you we will recognize him as well.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Tim was once an earring, wants to.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Be hit by a bus, and has contributed to some
of the most iconic imagery in Australian pop culture history.
Oh who could it be? Anyway, I don't forget. If
you want to send it in a soapbox or an
Arts Advisor voice note, jump into the show notes and
you can click a link there, or jump onto the
socials can steal with utsman. But anyway, I'm gonna go
(25:24):
by
Hello, it's artzimone here and I am officially the luckiest
drag queen in the entire world. Welcome to the Balot Cleanser.
Let's get into it. Yes, we are still here in
Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival. It is the tail end
of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. We've been here for oh
(00:29):
my goodness, four weeks now a bit longer than that,
and we have been through it. I have stories for you,
I have updates for you. It's been a really fabulous experience.
But a lot of things have happened, okay, and the
first one is that I am the most luckiest drag
queen in the entire world. I've decided because while I
was dressed as cath day night on the Royal Mile
(00:51):
where famously there's all the buskers during Fringe Festival, the
Raw Male, you know, you walk all the way up
to it, and there's Edinburgh Castle, but there's also all
the peaceeople that have to fly for their show. So
pre or post show performers will go out there with
flyers and sell their wares, try and get people bums
on seats, et cetera, et cetera. So we were there
(01:11):
a post show. We're actually there for a bit more
of a celebration one, but we said, you know, we'll
go out in our Kath and Kim Brigalia for fountain
Lags in lockdown our show, and we'll passive flyer, which
is a term we coined because you have to have
a lot of confidences to walk up to someone and
hand them a flyer and say come to my show.
So we decided if we just look like we're having
a great time, people might come up to us and
(01:32):
grab a flyer off us. So we decided that the
best place for us to have a good time would
be in a pub out on the street, drinking some
lovely prosecco and celebrating a wonderful show. And if people
came along and wanted a fly or a photo, we'd
do it then. And we were sitting at this lovely
year old Scottish pub. I mean it's probably been there
(01:54):
for three years, but it looked old. And I felt
something on my head and I said, what's that. Bear
in mind, I am dressed as casday night here, so
I've got a perm wig one, I've got a jumper,
but I feel something in my head and I touched
my wig and I pull out my hand and there
is neon green fluid on my hands, and I go, oh, no,
(02:15):
it's happened, hasn't it. Yes, that's right. A seagull, a
giant Scottish seagull, shat on my head while dressed as
catesday Night. And some people may go shock in horror
and be like, oh my god, that's the worst thing
that could ever happened to you. And sure, but the
good news is it's a week and I can put
it in the washing machine, so that's good. But it
was so random of all the people for a seagull
(02:35):
to poo on it was me. It even had little
seeds in it. It was fail but we did record it.
So if you want to see the aftermath of me
realizing I have bird poo in my hair dressed as
catthday Night, jump on the socials and you'll see it there.
But look, I think that is maybe a telling sign
of what the Edinburgh Fringe experience has been, because we
have had our ups and downs. I tell you what
the biggest thing, of course, is that our lovely Maxine
(02:58):
Laurie shield our Sharon in this sea and she got
sick at the beginning of the fourth week and was
rushed to hospital. It was very dramatic. There was blood,
there was fluids, there was an ambulance. It was all
very scary and luckily Maxi is stable and safe at
the moment, but there was drama a plenty because we
still had a week full of shows. After we got
her into the hospital and under some good care and stable,
(03:20):
we realized we've got five more shows and we don't
have a Sharon. And you know, although the show is
called Kat and Kim, there's also a Sharon involved. So
we had to dredge through the talent of Edinburgh Fringe
and luckily there are a lot of out of work
actually well they're in work, but they're gig hungry Australian performers.
(03:41):
So we luckily found a wonderful performer from another parody
show which is called Breaking the Musical, which is a
musical about an Olympian that may or may not have
a name that sounds like spray Gun ray Gun. They
did get sued by her so that they can't use
that name whatsoever. But we got this lovely pfomer named
Jaredy came in learnt the show within twenty four hours
(04:02):
and jumped on stage as Sharon's tressluckly and has been
doing an absolute fabulous job while we've been here. The
only thing is Sharon now has a beard, and I
don't know if that's on canon. We've just been telling
people that Sharon forgot to take her hormones over to
Scotland and that's why it's happened. But it's been absolutely crazy,
but we've had such wonderful audiences. I've been able to
(04:23):
do some nice tourism while I've been here, which has
been really cool, because you know, I did used to
make a Draculas and I'm a bit of an uky
spooky person. I got to go and do the Edinburgh
Dungeon Experience, which is basically where I would say very
young UNI students taking a class in acting would be working.
It was so camp. There was like rides in it,
(04:44):
there was uky spooky scenes, so just drama student galore.
But they didn't allow photos in it, so I couldn't
even show you any of it, but it was so
so much fun. I went to Mary's King's Close, which
is like an underground like street I don't know, and
then I also I went up to the Edinburgh Castle,
which was nice to be on top of the world.
But safe space here, it's safe space here. I was looking.
(05:07):
I was standing on at the castle looking over. They
did the one pm cannonball shop thing, all exciting, and
I looked over Edinburgh and I looked again, and I thought,
this place is kind of ugly, isn't it like lovely?
Like old and cool, but like kind of ugly anyway,
But it's been a really great experience. I am excited
to come home, though, because you know me, or like
(05:29):
to be at home. I locked it in a place
where I understand that understand me. And I did get
some really bad news while I've been here, and that's that.
And just like that, you know, my favorite show to
hate has been canceled. They're not renewing the season, which
has really upset me because I think the only reason
that they've canceled it is because I haven't been able
(05:51):
to watch it because I can't get bloody HBO Max here.
I'm't able to watch HBO Max. So I think they've
canceled it because I haven't been in the country. So
for everyone that loves to hate watch that show, I'm
apologizing because I think it's all my fault. I really
think it's all my fault. But anyway, I'm coming home.
I'm very excited to see you all, and I'm very
excited for this episode because we have a very extra
(06:13):
special guest.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Hi. My name is Lazy Susan. I am the winner
of Drag Race down Under and I once lit myself
on fire in the Kick on set.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hello, miss Lazy Susan. We're going to unpack that in
just a moment, because this is news to me on
the famed Kick on set. But if people don't know
you are obviously the current reigning winner of Drag Race
down Under, can't relate. I don't know how it feels.
Q sad Violey.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
If you want to taste so what, you can buy
Spanky Sceptor at the moment.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yes, Spanky Scepter is and that's not a euphemism. Her
sceptor is currently up for grabs at the moment.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Three thousand n z D. You could be part of
drag Race history.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Unfortunately I don't have enough money because I didn't but
the crown from me. That's true, I'll put on load.
But people don't know. We knew each other way before.
The world of drag Race connected us. Gosh, how long
ten years? Maybe it's been a long at least a
decade that I know, and the tables have turned today
(07:17):
because you're in full geiche and I am in goblin mode.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I know because we've worked on many projects that would
have worked on Amy.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
We've worked on the Wiggles for.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yes, or we did so to stream campaign together, the
Art Therapy series.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh my god, how could we forget? We've really done
it all.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
But traditionally you've been on the other side of the
camera in goblin mode as a wonderful rider, director, editor,
and just all around kook. Now people may not also
realize this, but if you have gone and watched Highway
to Heel, of which not many people.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Have the Presents app and you go into the d
do you arcove.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah, you have to search for it to actively go
out and find it. I do have a link on
my link tree, so you could go and look at there.
I think it still works. But if you do happen
to see it, you actually feature in every single episode.
It's true.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I'm the hidden MICKI.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah. People don't realize this because we shot this entire
mini series on the inside of a car during COVID
when it's all we could do, and it was a
crazy game show esca thing.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
We were like the conceit is like it's just you
driving to your gig and so and you're always taking
a different drag queen to go and perform at piano bar. Yes,
and we like each one had a theme. So it
was like a cooking show in arts car, a quiz
show in arts card show.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
We were just like doing a spoof of different reality
shows and be like what can fit inside of arts
Yaris and I would sit in the backseat of the car,
but we built this like faux wall, junk drag wall
that kind of looked like it was a pile of
stuff that was actually just a very thin veneer and
I would sit behind there in the heat of the
arras with like three human adult bodies sometimes four, just
(09:11):
like roasting, and I'd be monitoring the sound and dying.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And then every now and then a little goblin mode
hand would come out and as for a little snack
or a little tree.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I just want a little tree, but also batter is out,
Like we really didn't have the budget clearly I think
we got I'm sure we can say this now, but
like I think we've got like five thousand dollars for
that to make six episodes of that shah.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, and that wasps that we didn't.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I still have those.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, they're just on loan, yeah, because we're kicking them
for the season two. Yaway.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
You've got a new car now, though.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I know it wouldn't really match, but I still have
the mirror that film a box ripped off the side
of my car, and I still have your box enclosure.
I saved it to the case just the case well,
because they changed the laws in Victoria and you can't
film while anymore at all.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and we were not always the most conscientious drivers.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Some of those shots were getting those shots of the
car from the outside, and we had our videographer, Peter,
and it was literally like hanging out the side of
a car while someone else was it was.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It was the one. It was the eighties. I don't know,
it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
But we've both got a lot of things. Yeah, And
one of those shows is kick Ons, Yes, which is
above your garage lush atrium loft.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I am in like a you know, a north side chateau,
and like many North Side chateaus, it has places that
were clearly once inhabited by like a small orphan child. It's,
you know, kind of a ring situation. So there's this
weird loft garage that like is just musty and dust.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And it's unaccessible viral ladder and like, and it's big enough.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It's like a really high ceilings. It's got like three
and a half meter high ceilings. And so when it
came time, when season two of Drag Race down Under
was coming out, we were like we should do something,
and so then we set up a whole backyard in
the shed and shot it on like three pretty shitty
cameras and just two mics, and it was like it
(11:17):
became a kind of fabulous time.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Well, everyone said it was produced better than drag Raced.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Well, when people come up to that shed, because that
haunted backyard is still there, obviously because we're done three
seasons there, they're like, it's shot here.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And you're like, yes, it's very glamorous. You know, there's
a piece of black tarping that falls down and you
have to do a lot of day shoots. Last season,
the sunlight would just coming and hit.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yeah, and it's like corrugated iron, like it's not the
mod cons it has no air con, it has no
heating and what happened? Okay, so here we arrived? When
was this Ashneiko? Are you familiar with the artist Eshneiko?
She's one of the like kind of z here TikTok Like, sorry, Shneaker,
(12:02):
I don't want to come for your spot, but like yeah,
but like occasionally Warner Music Australia will reach out and
be like, will you consider doing like a list to
the song? Yeah, but this was like it predated like
the expensiveness of TikTok. So it was like, would you
consider sending us a video of you lip syncing to
Ashneiker's new song Daisy? And I was like yeah, and
(12:24):
they like to go into like a video yeah, and
then they'll.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Do a video.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
It was like, I want to Australia like attempting to
do something viral. But it's clearly like one in turn
who's like I like drag and I'm going to book
a bunch of drag queens to do this and pay
two hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Because you got paid. I once got offered to do
something similar. They're like, can you use this artist sound
on TikTok? And I was like, oh, I guess because
they're trying to make it a viral sound. And they're like,
we'll pay to sponsor the post and I was, oh,
You're like.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Wow, I get like three hundred you'll pay for the
advertisement of your so beautiful. That was the other thing
we worked on when during I think it was like
mid like a break between two lockdowns in Melbourne, you
were booked to do the Amazon release of Cinderella Picture Content.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The only reason that I know that film exists because
we had to really think about, like the worst adaptation,
what was it? Dina Monzelle and then it was that
little one Lavender marriage Sewn Mendees and Camilla Cabeo. Camila
Cabeo and James Corden was one of the main diva
(13:34):
that was haunted.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Okay, so let's preface this. So basically this movie was
coming out on Amazon Prime. They wanted to get people
to watch it. So some intern some in turn, was like,
what if you get three drag queens to transfer themselves
into different characters from the So I knew someone wouldn't
want to be like Cinderella. Someone want to be the beautiful,
you know, fairy godmother. So I was like to be
an ugly step sister and they're like okay, So I
(13:59):
was like, yeah, I canna do prosthetics, look really ugly
and everything. But what the idea was as we did
this makeup tutorial you can find it's online, but they
would ask you questions to talk about the film and
be like, I really loved how James Cotton did this,
and it was like full flashbacks of Drag Race sell
these things. And it was shot during lockdown and COVID
and everything, so I had like a video call on
(14:20):
and then two cameras running and then like trying to answer.
It was just so painful, but we had to watch
the film. We got to watch it earlier. It was
just so bad, so bad.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So the good people who paid us all paid you
to advertise that that was not a good movie.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I made you and our good friend Mum the Drag
Queen watch as well, to like try and come up
with some quips or jokes.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
What could the script be? And like that anyway, very funny,
But this was one of those situations. So once again
I enlisted Mum sage Queen Mum to come up, and
I was like, okay, this song is like this is
on the ninstance you like, and I was like yeah, okay,
And so I was like, you know, when, like I
(15:08):
don't know, a forty eight year old man shows up
at a kid's like schoolies event with a hat on backwards,
like that was the energy I was doing. And I
was like, I'm like, ashneiko a very cool like TikTok girly.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And so I was like, I'm gonna pull out this
like daisy from Bunnings Warehouse and then I'm gonna have
it like lid on fire and like holding it in
my hand as I'm like singing this like quite lyrically
complex song. And if you've seen the finale episode of
Drag racend Under, perhaps you know that I'm not the
world's greatest lip singer. And so this whole thing was
(15:42):
going on, and I was like, uh huh. Anyway, so
we're up in the shed, up in the kick on set, and.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Well, because it does, it ends up being like a
bit of a studio for you, yeah, you know when
we're darn Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It's like how they shoot the block in the down
Under bet if you don't know this. In Drag Race
down Under, they have this like set in New Zealand
or the Shed and they just put up like mask
seeming walls over the pink walls and then they shoot
the block, but it's still like haunted by Like imagine
just like the walls over RuPaul's smiling face in the
(16:15):
dusk and.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
The archaeologist that go back there to finally get ready
for season when it happens, trying.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
To feel it back and be like, whoa, these people
must have lived. But yeah, so I'm like, okay, I'm
gonna soak this in like a methylated spirit. Wouldn't I
I could have anyway, So Mum Drag Queen Mum is
filming and I'm like, for safety's sake, I'll have like
(16:40):
a like a milo tin metal beneath it so I
can just drop it if it like the fire is
going too crazy. And like I'm trying to remember the
lyrics this song and it's like I'm like quickly dousing
it in something and it's like metholated spirits running down
my arm and then I'm like light the match, lip
syncing singing on this green screen with a fan in
(17:02):
my face, just trying to like serve it, and then
you know, a metholated spirit flame is like so it's
like blue, it's almost invisible. And the second it hits
my hand, it drips down onto where there's like a
puddle of metholated spirits from where I've just poured it
casually and nonchalant, and then it like runs off my
head lights that on fire, and then it runs along
(17:24):
the stream of metholated spirits that are dripped down across
the wooden floorboards in the second story, one room, one
escape room.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
How do you get out of there? You can't, you die,
There is no safety, there is none.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
And then it runs across to the bottle of methylated
spirits that is full and the lid is off, and
immediately is around the bottom of this giant one point
two to five liter bottle of metholated spirits and it
melts the bottom and then the whole bottle tips.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
As quick as this happening, or it's like one of
those movie things where you're just watching one.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Everything. Then he's like, and the thing is, we have
footage of this and it's me going and then you
hear like we get up and I'm like, we're running
out of the room, out of the like one exit
trap door. Mom grabs the camera, picks it up, walks
(18:24):
five steps and just throws it into the corner and
like fuck that, we're out. And then we get out
and the camera just turns and you see everything is
engulfed in flame, and we're like and then we run
and we're also very drunk, like we've been dating. Yeah,
because I'm like, and there is like one hose that's
(18:46):
in the backyard looks down stairs, which is famously where
like a man named Greek Daddy on Grinder wants douched
in my backyard with.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That hose this story, I know, fuck.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
God love him.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
He was in my house.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Saints were asleep inside. He couldn't go in. We didn't
have the shower shot.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
No, I understand. I've got some very interesting stories about
tomato sauce bottles for another another day.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
But so we run the hose upstairs, but it like
does that thing where it like goes to the final
step and like you know, you're just not to the fire,
Like it's about two meters away from the fire and
the waters gushing out, but it's not getting to the fire. Also,
you don't spray water on a chemical fire kids at home,
oh like, because it just sits on top of it,
(19:31):
still on fire. It's a chemical fire. Anyway, everything is burning.
I'm spraying the fire with my little finger over the
nozzle like I'm doing a kid's fire, like you know,
water fire.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Now you're doing like a bachelorette.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I look crazy as well, because I looked so busted.
I had this like little ribbon wig made out of
blue ribbon because I was.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Like an actually.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Anyway, so like, and then like seemingly the fire is out,
I can't downstairs, Me and mam are just looking at
each other like, and they were like it was smoke everywhere.
Like We're just like, I'm just gonna go back up
and check because I think the fires are still going.
And then I go upstairs and it's like, you're still
(20:18):
on fire? Was it? Use store so much of your
drag up there, and it's all synthetic, so it's melting
into like a gooey pile. But then I remember that
my friend's mom had gifted me the woolen suit that
her ex husband had worn in their wedding day. You
know how mums will do these vengeful shit. Ye, take
this weird in drag fuck that guy, and I remember
(20:41):
it's one hundred percent wool, And I'm like, wool wool
versus fire always a good way because because like I
grew up in the hills and like there are fires
all the time, and they tell you like put on
a woolen jumper and soak it in water if you're
like ever in a fire.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh yeah, wow, you've missed your calling. I think you
need to start doing brand and best of a ship
for the bush firefety years. Yeah, you go into schools
and be like all up now, kiddies, Yeah you remember,
very knowledgeable.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
And so I throw this like seventies woolen suit over
the flame and like start like smothering it just with
my hands, and managed to get this entire large area.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Of island drag.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, well debatable. I don't think i'd call it drive now,
but I'm definitely in like make of a challenge shake,
and like it finally goes out and the smoke has
just got nowhere to go because the room is just
like completely sealed. And then we go downstairs and we
just stare at each other for a while, and I
think because it was like a chemical fire didn't actually
(21:42):
like get into the wood or anything like, it didn't
burn through the floor. Oh okay, Like it was like
sitting on top like a flombay kind of situation. It
was so over dramatic that fire. She was too much.
And then for the next few nights I just had
like moments where I'd wake up.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
And liked, now did you did you get the shot
in the end? Yeah? Oh good?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And then it went together and I was like, that
wasn't worth it.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Soapbox, all right, It's time for the soapbox Miss Lazy Suasan,
where you get to pitch whatever you want. You get
to use my airspace to promo whatever you feel like.
It's my gift to you. You've got thirty seconds on
the clock. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Okay. You can follow me now on Miss Lazy's Suasan
on Instagram and TikTok. You can also listen to no
podcasts sorry cross promotions, but here we are Death to Everyone,
which is on where other podcasts are found, and you
can also just go and find me out in the scene.
I'm going to do lots of you know, bingos with
Miss Gabrielle bouchie at the moment, that's hues. I'm going
to Edinburgh with my new show in the Fountain Legs
(22:52):
in lockdown. You know they don't know that yet, but
I have been cast in the roll of carry and
just come and see me in heaven.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
When you die. Time is Time is goddamn upset. Though
you didn't promo your film, I thought you give a
little plugged your film. Okay, well it's because we're doing
extra five seconds for the film because I'm gifting you
that cue.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We were like in the midst of securing funding for
a film that I'm trying to make, which is very exciting,
which has been now misreported in three gay publications, not
our greatest journalist as I went and had my film
premiere at the can Film Festival. And I love the
lack of research and I love that. Yeah, I guess
I did premiere at can this year and no one's
seen this film.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
That's all that it takes. It's incredible. These guys like, yeah,
I'm sure it happened over there. I didn't go there.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Maybe it exists. I'm like, do you think that? When
do you think I made the feature film during what time? No?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And what is a film called? You know, how can
we supportently?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I mean, I don't know. This is going to change
over the okay, but currently we're trying to get a
drag queen horror film, not starring myself, but written and
directed by myself. It's a horror feature called Skin Side
Up and where you know in the midst in the midst.
So hopefully there's more news to come there. And once
we kick off production, I'll stop being a human being
and start just being a riddled mess.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Hey, all things come back to normal. That's right, everything turns,
it's beautiful. Well, thank you miss lazy Susan popping in,
sharing some stories and being an absolute menace.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
This is the shortest podcast I've ever been on, and.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
It's nothing compared to your two hours and five hundred minutes.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, no, enjoy this. This is a gorgeous snack. This
is a fabulous snack to doing the gym.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
A little teaser.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, we'll see you in hell.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Art Simon, thank you so much for joining us here
you're at the Palate cleanser. It's been an absolute pleasure
being in your e holes once again. Don't forget We've
got a regular episode of concealed again next week, and
our special guest is someone called Tim, and for the
first time in a long time, I actually recognize this
(24:56):
person the minute they popped onto my screen, and maybe
you we will recognize him as well.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Tim was once an earring, wants to.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Be hit by a bus, and has contributed to some
of the most iconic imagery in Australian pop culture history.
Oh who could it be? Anyway, I don't forget. If
you want to send it in a soapbox or an
Arts Advisor voice note, jump into the show notes and
you can click a link there, or jump onto the
socials can steal with utsman. But anyway, I'm gonna go
(25:24):
by
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