Vegan Farts & Special Pants w/ Candice Thompson

This week, the guys are joined by comedian and writer Candice Thompson to tackle some non-romanic relationship secrets coviering roomates, neighbors, coworkers & friends with Benefits. And Candice reveals both her sqeaky clean and stinky sides. If "outside pants" means anything to you, then this is 100% the episode for you.
Candice performs regularly at The Comedy Store and is a staff writer for Netflix and Comedy Central. You may have seen her on Late Night With Stephen Colbert, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Lights Out With David Spade, Roast Battle and New Negroes on Comedy Central, Joe Rogan Experience, Harry TV, NBC's Last Comic Standing, Bring the Funny, E!'s The Comment Section and Just For Laughs. She is the co-host of Nosy Neighbors podcast on Spotify.
If you'd like a chance to hear your secret revealed on the podcast, you can submit your secret on our website: ConfessYourMess.us
IG: @_AJGibson / @EmileEnnisJr / @ConfessYourMessPodcast
Twitter: @AJGibson / @EmileEnnisJr / @ConfessPodcast
Watch on YouTube
From Straw Hut Media

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Media just f y I this morning, and by this morning,
I mean twenty minutes before we start taping this podcast.
You were sitting on the sofa and you were like,
you have the biggest pimple on your nose. Did you
notice I popped it?

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Oh, it's on the other side of ca see, okay,
it was white. You never get pimples on your nose.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I've been stressed with this wedding planning and everything. I
feel like my voice isn't up to Like there's a
lot going on. This guest that we have this week,
though this person actually fun fact, technically, out of people
who are in l A has known me the longest
out of anybody in l A. Wait, what yes?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
How did I not know this?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Because how have we not met? You have met? Oh?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
We know.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
He was trying to sell the TV. He was so good.
He was so good at his job. And we were like,
we don't need a TV, but sir, get a promotion.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, but did we go get a TV?

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Though?

Speaker 1 (01:02):
We did so he was good. That's why in West Hollywood,
that's where we ran to Candids. But let me tell
you something. So Candace Thompson is our guest. She is
a super talented comedian. You've seen her all over. She's
a regular at the Comedy Store. She has been on
so many different shows I can't even list them all.
And then she also is the host of the hilarious
podcast with Chinnado unaka Nosy Neighbors, So Good by the Way,

(01:27):
which is on Spotify. It's a Spotify exclusive, and I listened, Ajses.
I listened every single week. Our podcast comes out on
Thursdays too. I listened every single week and we're.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Just see in the car together week or so. Yeah,
so good.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
It's a fun listen because they put like sound effects
of music and stuff. Anyway, it's a flast. So check
that out on Spotify. Man. When I was doing my
internship in LA, which was the first time I kind
of came to LA at the time, my cousin Shenise.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Was out here and you were driving what car?

Speaker 1 (02:03):
I was driving a Toyota Corolla and you thought you
were so fun. I thought I was so I had
my my Drake going you remember the songs like during
that start like I had last and I was going
down Highland Avenue and I just thought it was so cool.
But Candace was my roommate she was my cousin, Shenie's roommate,
so then she was my roommate. They had like a
third room that was kind of like an office, but

(02:25):
it was a it was a sofa bed in there.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
For shelter animals, right right, And so that's.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Where I stay. And so because of that, Candace has
known me the longest. Now another fun fact. We've kind
of talked about this in the episode Terrell Grist. I
don't want to be a singer, but I have things
I wanted to check off my bucket list. One was
audition She's already least one was auditioning for the voice.
So when I auditioned for the he already knows when
I auditioned for the voice. You know, I didn't get to.

(02:53):
When I say auditioned, I don't mean like the people
who make it on TV with the.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Judges, there's nobody to turn the chairs around.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I mean there's an open call and you go there
and you stand in line. I was interviewed by NBC
for Los Angeles, which I was very happy, wow, and
I got my local. It was I'll put the outfit
on Instagram if I can find it. It was I
got it all from Express. I wore a red button
up shirt with a black tie and a carding the

(03:19):
Great Card again. And then you're trying to trying to
match the show. And I had some black and red superress.
You remember the superress. So I wore that outfit. And y'all,
let me tell you. My audition song was because campus
knows it, because I was singing all around the house
very She would come home from work and I was
at home and I was singing. I was born by

(03:41):
the river. When I tell you, I got to river
and they were like, thank you, They said that is enough.
But every single day CANDUs would come home and I
would be singing. I was like, I was like, is
it okay if if I practiced my audition. So eventually
I started practicing the car anyway, Welcome to the pod.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Can't what an intro?

Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh God, during that whole entire story, that's wild.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
That was very true. I was born. That was very true.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Listen. Early in our relationship, I would tell everybody like, yeah,
he auditioned for the voice, Like I was so proud
of that fact, Like that he's got gumption, he's he's
he's out there making it happen. And everybody's like, oh,
what how far did he make it? Is the first
question did people turn around their chairs? I'm like, Oh,
he didn't make it that far. And then the next
question is, oh, what do they sing? I'm like, I
don't know, some hymnal something to the south. I don't know,

(04:40):
I think, but I didn't know if I could.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
The wrong song. The wrong song is what the answer
should be, Candice. We are very excited to have you
on you know, on your podcast, you guys get submissions
and you you source the different website for what's going
on in the neighborhood, and you get all these crazy
stories from the internet, which is which is.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Wild because he's been listening to that stuff and getting
updates on his phone forever.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
He's always telling the Citizen app. I have the ring
app because we have our little ring door been what
the people writing there is crazy.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
I get so nervous. I don't want to know.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Woman brand right, there's always if you have to Sitizen
that in La there's always somebody brandishing the knife and
I haven't heard the word brandishing in years.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
And stuff like that app and also weapons, all types
of things.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
You can shame.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Somebody I'm also trying to do is hilarious and he's
low key been one of my straight crusts for many
many years. I'm a fan of trying to do. He's
e's easy to look at. His voice is good too,
so it's it's a win.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
And also shout out to Canelia because Cornelia is one
of our really good friends and she is a researcher
and writer on that show. So listen, we we love
the pod and we're so happy to have you on
and aj before we get into our segment, yeah, our
very first segment. We got to let the people know.
Go to iTunes, rate comments, that's right, subscribe also Spotify, Yeah,

(06:09):
you can rate on Spotify.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
Radis are going up. But we're not getting a lot
of reviews lately, so we immreciate a review.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
People.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
What's going on?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
What is going on, y'all are And here's the thing,
we're getting ratings. Yeah, but you're not actually writing a review,
so we're not going to tell you again. I told you.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's the committed levels just not quite there yet. Like
people like like enough to like click five stars, but
not enough.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
To say great jobs.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Just a little too much, just a little too much
our egos are fragile, so please please help us out. Okay,
so that's how you can help us, Canvas though, But
before we get into our actual the meat and potatoes
of this thing.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
You know we're gonna be revealing Kansas is vegan. She'll
eat me.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh yeah, that's right. Okay, we'll listen from hives. I listen.
I did a whole segment about veganis on my radio
show recently too, and I got dragged.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
So before we get into the kombucha and what else
you eat?

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah? What else?

Speaker 4 (06:59):
No? I oh, I know you guys don't understand.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I'm like the worst kind of like the nerdiest, healthiest,
Like I don't.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
Even eat me like they'll eat like those meats. I
don't do those fake meats. I don't do tofu.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Process Wow.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
No oh, I don't trust those No.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
I just try to avoid processed foods in general. So,
like most of my stuff comes from like whole foods,
like I'll do like lots of salads. I'll do like
actual food like sweet potatoes. Things are actually you know that.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
The potatoes.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah that's right, Okay, that's real. I thought I was
being healthy one time. I make myself an impossible burger
and I've died there's so much sodium in there.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
My stomach was yeah, bubble guts.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, unless they want to sponsor us, then yes, I
love It's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
But yeah, So before we get into the listeners submitted
secrets and confessions today, we just want to know that
you're like down to play, like you can hang right.
We can trust you with our listeners, with our messengers
because they're very important to us. So you brought us
a secret, a confession that you're going to share a
little bit later on the pod. This is not that moment,
so hold on to that one. Uh, this is like
a little teeny teeny tiny secret. Maybe it could be
maybe a vice, maybe a bad habit. That you have

(08:12):
something in your life that you know isn't necessarily great
for you, but you just haven't been able to let
it go up to this point. This is your mess.
But yeah, guess oh.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
Man, this is the thing is I'm so I'm usually so.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Transparent about everything, but I mean, I guess this ties
into the vegan stuff, but on occasion, I just have
a lot of gas.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
Same girl, I like, don't.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Mind, Like I enjoy it, enjoy it it sounds. I
enjoy the smell like sometimes I get impressed by it.
Sometimes I get disappointed if a daygo I didn't have
a good one, like I.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Listen, listen. Okay, I'm gonna say this real quick. It's
so good to have somebody else who is cute and
adorable and pass this gas. Because I'm also very guilty
of this. And I know we like to think that,
like like pretty people like us Candace, like pretty pretty people, like.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Somebody taking my past gas.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Let's tell you what I sometimes, Oh my gosh, I
started taking enzymes because I'm like, okay, something's wrong. And
it's when I eat healthy, if I eat anything green
or like a clean piece of chicken, like game over
every single time. And this poor man will come to
bed sometimes and I host some morning radio show, so
I have to go to bed earlier, and so I'm

(09:41):
in bed a couple hours ahead of him. He'll come
in there. Sometimes I'll be like, I'll wake up and
I'm like, why is there? Why is he lighting the
match right now? What's happening? And he's like lighting matches
all over the bedroom.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Let me tell you, let me tell you something so
my mom was just in town by the way. By
the way, she asked about She was like, how's Candace,
But also side note, are you still in the same
place that that we were?

Speaker 3 (10:00):
No, I actually just just moved in September.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
Last year, so it had been Yeah, it hasn't been
that long.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
But they finally got rid of me. The building got
I wasn't going anywhere. I was like, I'm in a
rank control place at three bedrooms and I had that
place all to myself.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
Yeah, yeah, after Shechanif left.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
After Shanise left, I had a roommate move in, but
then I kicked him.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
Out because he was trashed. And then so I had
that place.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
To myself for like almost three years, which was amazing.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
And then I had.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
The building got bought and then the new owners were
going to renovate, so they gave me a little bit
of money to lead. There wasn't that much money at
all for as long as I'd been there, but I
found a place literally walking distance three weeks away, which
was great.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
I wanted to stay in them.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
I was very nostalgic. So I drove by there literally
this past weekend and I saw they painted it like
black and white, and I was like, they should have
kept it what it was. But all that to say,
she was in town and I took the dog out
because we have a dog Kingston. I took the dog
out to use the restroom, and then at one point

(11:09):
I forgot what it was. She went to the restroom
and then she came back out and I was in
there talking to AJ because he had gone to bed.
And I came back out there and she was standing
and staring at the dog and she's like, did he
poop when you took him outside? And I was like, yeah, why,
there's just this smell. So I go to AJ and
I'm like, before you went to bed, when you walked
from the kitchen, did you fart? And he's like, oh god.

(11:32):
And I went back out and Mom was like, wait,
that was him. She's like it's lingering. She's like it's
lingering in the air. And I was like, now you
know what I do with I had to go to
the bedroom and get matches, bring them out there. I
just listen.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
We went. We Miss Sharon comes to town and she
requests Joe's crabshack, So we drove an hour to Rodondo
Beach to get buckets and buckets of crab.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Legs and messas stomach, so she hadn't have them since.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Two thousand and nine. So it our attempt to be
like good me a good son in law. Yeah, we
and my stomach was messed up.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Take the will, but also it's anything. It's anything. We
have matches on the ready.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Listen, you passed, you're ready to go.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
We trust you, and your stomach is always ready to go.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do you want to get into it our first profession?

Speaker 4 (12:17):
Yes, I love that it came from an animal. That's
that's the smell. It was like, that didn't come from
a human.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
And me, me living with him, I can decipher which
is which because they both think. But I know who
it came from, where it came from. It's either me,
him or Kingston. Okay. So every single episode we have
a different theme. So the theme for this episode these secrets.
Because of the Nosy Neighbors podcast we did roommates, neighbors, coworkers,
and friends with benefits all right, so we have a

(12:45):
little mashlash of secrets. So the first one comes from
anonymous female in Brooklyn. This could be some of my family. Yeah,
I have fear. Yeah, my aunties. Who knows.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
I how we always like to speculate, like the only
people in Brooklyn are the four people that we know?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Were the six people that we know there? Okay, she said,
married mom of three. Our bedroom is in the back
of the house, and our neighbors, a married couple's bedroom
is visible from our bedroom window when the blinds are open.
About a year ago, we caught our neighbors having sex
with the blinds open, clearly performing for us. I don't

(13:21):
know what came over me and my husband, but we
thought it was so hot. It had sex with our
blinds open and tandom. It felt so forbidden and exciting.
It's completely unspoken who wrote this. We never talked about
it when we see each other out and about it.
Only happened a couple of times since a couple of times,
but my husband and I talk about how we hope
it happens again. It's added a new spark to our

(13:45):
admittedly dull sex life.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yes, oh my god, I'm applauding this.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yeah, we're not.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
I guess I don't act like you are.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
No, I'm here for it. I'm just thinking, because you know,
we are in an apartment building, in La We.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Watched people one time after sex we think.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
They were they We looked out because we were going
to bed and we turned all lights out and then
we were closing the blinds and then we saw we
saw like two floors down they were just walking around naked,
and we were like, whoa, what's going on?

Speaker 2 (14:14):
So we duck down and we were peeking out, just
watching them all time. And this other guy, I think
in the same apartment but the different people living there.
Like a year or two ago, this guy used to
go into this room all the time and just like mask.
They saw it once, but we wouldn't see him like
he but he would do it like under the sheets.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
Yeah, it was weird or like under his underwear. But
with the windows open, because here's the thing. In our building,
it's like you can look in the people's apartments and
see what's going on in their lives, and it's very fascinating.
But also, like I understand, it's kind of like, oh,
should we be doing this?

Speaker 2 (14:45):
But yeah, Candice, what are your thoughts on this couple?

Speaker 4 (14:48):
I well, I mean.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
It's very exciting from for a single woman who like
having some hasn't had some in a little bit.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
This brought.

Speaker 4 (15:01):
This brought a little bit of excitement to me.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
I'm like, oh my goodness, I wish I had a
you like that outside of my window.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
I just have like some weird guy across the street
who has like, uh, garage sales every other weekend.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
And that's what I'm looking at.

Speaker 4 (15:15):
Mind.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
But for me, like if that was me and I'm
seeing like this, I'm seeing a couple across the street
having sex. And let's say I was in a relationship
and I was having sex with a guy. For me,
I feel like it would turn competitive on.

Speaker 4 (15:30):
I'm picturing like pitch Perfect, you know the movie pitch
Perfect one. They just have like the thing off and
they're like, oh yeah, look what we can do. And
I'll be like, look what we can do. And then
we next thing, you know, we have a sex swing.
I pull the hamstring.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Oh my god, my swing in this window.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Remember that what my ex had a sex swing in
this window? Remember that?

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Oh yeah, over Ane, Yeah, in the front window.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
People drive by, you drive by the seat hanging there.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Listen, we don't we don't judge your your your kings
or your fetishies or whatever. And you know the thing
is hopefully you and your partner, Hopefully you talk to
each other about what this could possibly mean. Maybe you're
into that, maybe you want to invite them over and
instead of but it could just be the thrill of
them being far away and it's like we know they
see us, but we don't know that they see us

(16:13):
type thing, even though they're secretly like they're like, Okay, Amy,
so we're gonna we're gonna have sex at six. So
if you guys want to, yeah, do it around that time,
just so we know we're on schedule.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, Because actually, if it's helping your relationship to do this,
I mean, you don't need to ever do it together
as a foursome. Right, maybe this is plenty because for
a while. Yeah, because for a lot of couples where
I come from, like, for instance, porn, Right, this is almost.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Like a you said that was so much like force porn.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
But this is almost like a version of porn. Ways,
it's not that different than watching like a webcam or
watching the video. It's just sort of in real time
and there's no interaction taking place. It's all completely safe
and obviously consensual. If they're looking back and forth and
the windows are open. Yeah, And I think something that
works for you and I is that because truth be told,

(17:04):
like we're both kind of into the idea of like
somebody seeing us or catching us. I think a lot
of people actually are, but they just don't want to
admit it necessarily. Yeah, but the thing that makes our
relationships so like we've been together ten years and like
the sex is still incredible.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
But before we before we like, whatever you're about, because
I don't know what you're about.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
He's just like sorry about it.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Good, you're good.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
But I think that the idea is the thing that's
actually very sexy, right, And for us, talking about things
and talking about scenarios is always what turns us on.
And then we have like wild sex or or I
or if one of us comes home from the gym
and maybe there was like a hot guy and we
saw him like naked for a moment in the locker
room or in a towel or something like that, or

(17:44):
maybe somebody grinned at us or gave us like a
little bit of a wink or a look at the gym,
and like, Okay, that's hot. It is hot. But then
we come home to the other person and have like
wild sex like I can. Yeah, I can tell if
he's had like a good gym session, and I can
tell if somebody hit on him, because I'll usually get
some of that, and then I'll be like, you see
something about the jim And usually.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Maybe that's not that's not necessarily the case, but does
it happen occasionally? Possibly? Possibly.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I love this couple. I think it's fantastic. And relationships
are hard, you know, maintaining like a relationship is difficult,
and especially keeping the spark alive.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
That's not well. The fact that they said are admittedly
dull sex life.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, at least self aware.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
That's all right, all right, So what's not dull is
the rest of these secrets. Even though I don't know
if we said this, we haven't seen any of these secrets.
We read them live for the first time, and we're
going to read some more in a second right after
this commercial break.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Welcome back to confess your mess. A lot of laughs today, Canvas.
You're hilarious, by the way, and I'm so sorry almost
sort of forgot meeting you invest by the second.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
I remembered that meeting.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
The second I said it, he was like, you have
those like, oh, You're best buy so many things ago.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
And it was me personally. I just ran into canvas
randomly around La like I definitely ran into in the
parking lot hole foods that one time she eats a
lot of letus tracks.

Speaker 4 (19:19):
I do. I live there, actually that I was doing.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
The lawn I go.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
I go there for local honey whenever our allergies flare
up every year. Although you're not, I found out recently
you can't have honey either if you're vegan because the
bees work too hard for it.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Oh that is that is a thing that a lot
of vegans don't do. I'm not one of those vegans
I do. I'm one of those vegans like health first,
So I do whatever my body tells me I need
to do, and if it's healthy for me, honey is
very good for.

Speaker 4 (19:46):
You good, and so I do the raw.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
I do do the raw local honey, but I usually
go to the farmer's market to get that. Bra honey
and bee pollen together gives like jam packed with so
many vitamins and minerals that like, it's so for you.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
I was like, why would I not want to put
that in my body?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Need to be listen, listen, that that part because we
need to talk actually about this, because I was looking
into about a month or so ago or a couple
months ago, our allergies really started to flare up really
really bad. And I woke up one morning, like a
Saturday or Sunday, and I was on a mission to
go buy him local be like local honey because his
were killing him. Mine were pretty bad too, And I
ended up getting a couple of different types of super

(20:24):
expensive honey at Whole Foods that were both local. But
the pollen, the bee pollen, I didn't think about that,
So I need to find out where you go? What
what what?

Speaker 4 (20:32):
Well?

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Our assaiy bulls that we had this morning have be
polgre so good.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah yeah yeah, But you know what's fun fact and
this is why I'm just a wealth of ridiculous information
that comes to health. But well, it's really hard for
us to digest bee pollen as it is, so you
need to take have enzymes with it. So that's why
if you mix the honey, the raw honey with the
bee pollen, the enzymes from the honey will make the
bee pollen more digestible and readily absorbable, readily absorbable absorbable

(21:01):
in our bodies.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
Jesus that word.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
But anyway, So I put the bee pollen in the
honey and I actually let it ferment for like a
couple of weeks, and then I just take a spoon
and eat it. And it's so full and it lasts
the shelf life. It's like amazing at last forever.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
And you can just take it whenever you want, put
it in your put it in your teeth.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's is so good.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Side note. I was staring at whatever this poster is
behind you for ever. I thought it said Oka, and
I was like, is that Nicki Minaj behind you? But
it says only you know that's me?

Speaker 4 (21:31):
That's me.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
You don't remember this poster hanging up in your bedroom
when you were staying in right over here?

Speaker 4 (21:38):
I remember this. I do remember that.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh Jesus, what is it? Okay?

Speaker 3 (21:51):
So sidebar, when this was years ago, I'm talking about
like this was probably in two thousand and eight. I
shot a pilot that was basically like thirty Rock, but
for black people. It was like it's thirty Rock was
about be et and I was playing a character that
was a co host of a show remember one Ye.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, it was This was sloughten in Krisshaw.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
This show Wow, I was a co host.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
It was me and Damon Wams Junior.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
We were the co host and so this was one
of the posters that was hanging in the hallway of
this fake b et off.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
All I could see was like the top part of
it this whole time, and I thought it looked like
an ad for like some hair product or something like that.
I was like, what is Look at those curls.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Oh my gosh, so good do you all do?

Speaker 4 (22:47):
Just for me? Ads on the side as a side, hey, listen.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
You gotta do what you gotta do to make it
out here in these streets saying too good. Okay, So
this next one is from anonymous male d C.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
After one of my best friends broke up with the boyfriend,
the X and I hooked up during a threesome situation.
We kept fucking for almost a year. The messy side
of me enjoyed knowing that my sex was better than
my best friend. Hashtag facts, hashtags sorry not sorry. Oh.
I experimented in the P and P scene with him also,
and it definitely made the hookups even wilder because of

(23:21):
the taboos. I eventually stopped fucking with him because although
my best friend put up with a lot of his
bullshit in their tea relationship, I don't deal with goofy
ass shit hashtag relaxed, bro, we just fucking what's wait? Wait,
Frank wrote something in the notes. Wait party in place
drugs and sex scene. Oh yeah, yeah, So like okay,

(23:44):
so like orgy parties.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Okay, so cool. I'm okay with like everything like the
party and play drug sex orgy. I'm okay with all that.
I don't mind any of that stuff. That's fine if
it's if that works for you and you're and you're
being safe and your consentual adults, fantastic. Great. Well, I
have an issue with the getting off on the fact
that you're a better lay in your mind than your

(24:07):
best friend. That part I have a problem with. I
don't like people going behind people's backs and doing stuff
like that. Yeah, and this person obviously knows that it's
not right because they're getting it off their chest now.
But then also like making a lot of jokes, using
a lot of hashtags and cursing every now and then
to act as if it's like calm down, bruh, Like,

(24:28):
well right, yeah, Cana.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Well I just think it's weird.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Why are you so like that doesn't sound like that's
your best friend.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
It sounds like that somebody you have some issues with.
And you're like, I knew I could put it down
better than you, Like, why are you even thinking about that?

Speaker 3 (24:50):
I'm thinking about my best friend, and I'm like, I'm
not comparing which one of us is better in bed,
Like that's.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Not even a fun Yeah, I set my best friend
flowers this week, Like, that's what I did for my
best friend.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yes, I think. I think there's a there's a layer
to it of yes, it's it shouldn't be competitive. But
also I think because if they are in let me
look at this again, Oh, I experien PMS with him also,
and it definitely if they are in the in the
the P and P scene, then maybe he's thinking that

(25:23):
as far as the sex goes, it's just sex, right,
So like their relationship aspect of the intimacy is one thing,
but he's just looking at if we're having sex with
all these people and we're doing orgies and stuff like,
that's just sex. I know for a fact that I
can put it down better than my best friend, and
maybe they've you sex differently. Then I'm just trying to,
you know, I try not to.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
The way this is worded, it doesn't sound like it's.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Just sound like a best friend casual sex.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
It sounds like they're trying to literally stick it to
the best friend better than you are at this thing
or something.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
But Candice, what are your thoughts? Because I'm always under
the pretense that if if I had a best friend
who broke up with their boyfriend, that boyfriend would be
off limits. So I'm confused like that too.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
It's weird because I'm so close with the people that
I consider my best friends that usually when they're dating somebody,
that person has also become part of our family, right,
So for me, it's like a lot of time I'm
not even attracted to that person because they feel like
a brother or a sister to me. So it's like
I would never do that, especially and if I were
in some weird world where I felt like that person

(26:28):
was just so happened to be the one person that
was for me, maybe that's my soulmate, that's it. I
would talk to my friend first and be like, is
this okay? Because that's just yeah, no, that's not in
my character at all to even want to be with
some It's kind of it's just like sloppy seconds, like
I don't that's not attracted to me at all.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, yeah, this is what I remember. I had my
best friend at the time. I lived in New York
City years ago, you know the story. And I found
out about six months after moving there with my partner,
who had been inferred that three years or so. He's
like my college sweetheart found out on his motorol erasor
flip phone that he was sleeping with somebody else, and
I confronted them about it. It didn't turn out well,

(27:08):
and we broke up. And the night that it happened,
I was devastated. And then my best friend shows up
and I'm like, oh my god, you're so because I've
been texting him and I was like, I love you
so much, Like we live in New York City. You
got on a train or gotten a taxi to come
do this for me. It makes me feel so loved.
I need you right now. Thank you, And he goes, oh,

(27:32):
you're ex and I were going out tonight, We're going
drink and he's really upset, and I'm like, wait, what
what do you mean? You guys are going out right now?
You guys are going out for drinks. You know him
because of me. I introduced you to and you're going
out for drinks. And that was fifteen years ago. They're
still best friends. They're still best friends. And I'm not
friends really with either of them. Like I'm like, I

(27:54):
talked to them from time to time. I'm kind but
I was like, wait, what, like he may, No, I don't.

Speaker 4 (28:02):
They were friends and have been friends ever since.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
No, they're both in Columbus now you know them both.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
But did they stay in New York longer?

Speaker 2 (28:10):
No? And I think that they I think that what
they both like to drink, they love the bar scene,
they love the night life scene. They're both they both
have a little bit of they're both good people, but
they're both a little bit like they have that Peter
Pan syndrome where like, I'm always a boy and I'll
never grow up fully, I want to stay in this

(28:31):
cycle forever and and.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Wait if I get that, But so, how long did
they stay in New York after you left?

Speaker 2 (28:40):
Well, my boyfriend left within like a couple of months.
Another guy, another couple of years.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Maybe Okay, well I don't know, because I was going
to say, maybe it's just because you moved away, but
it sounds like they just maintained that friendship.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
No, they've stayed friends for fifteen years and through all
of it, and the moment when I need my best friend,
he showed up to go drinking with the guy who
cheated on me.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
So yeah, the true colors shining through.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
I have thoughts on best friends acting way.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
That's so.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
I know, that's just so bizarre to be because I
could at least maybe understand that if if they were
interested in one another, you know what I'm saying, Like, oh,
because at least there's like a sexual attraction that they
want to explore. But to hurt your best friend to
then just become a friend with someone else is very
best very weird.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's but we found over the years
there's some weird people out there.

Speaker 4 (29:35):
Are you know, we're all in La too, Yeah, all
of them, they're all here. I dated all over them too.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
But also I feel like there's just there's a lot
of brokenness in people, and a lot of people don't
know what. We found this through the process of our
wedding and inviting family and friends who don't even RSVP,
won't have a conversation, won't respond to a text message.
You know, my own step brother and his wife are
supposed to come to the wedding, and I sent them
a text just to follow up, and all of a sudden,

(30:02):
out of blue apparently they're not coming, never rcped and
won't respond to my text. And I'm like, we're family,
so like, I think people just don't like confrontation, and
they don't have the tools in their toolbox even have
a conversation for sure.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
They don't know how to communicate. Most people don't know
how to communicate for sure.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
All right, the next secret uh is from anonymous Colorado Springs.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
You really get up on that mic?

Speaker 1 (30:24):
I just noticed that, well because it looks like sometimes
sometimes my back here it sounds, so I tried, I
try to like live on the mic.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Also turns it's kind of weird.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
I'm getting a headache because I put my hair up
and it's pulling, and like one of my locks is pulling,
like right on my scalp, and it's just and I
think the headphone is being pushed back. Y'all don't care anyway.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I just called you baby. As long as your hair
is up on our wedding day, you can know whatever
you want to.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Anonymous, Colorado Springs. We don't focus on these secrets. Colorado Springs, real, real,
fast story. We had a we were stuck on a
plane in Colorado Springs for like three hours because there
was bad weather. We were I'm to Denver and they're like,
we can't land in Denver. And after circling forever, they're like,
we're gonna go land in Colorado Springs. And we sat
there for three hours. It was miserable, terrible, tiny ass plane. Okay, Anonymous,

(31:12):
Colorado Springs. I find it weird visiting my place of
work on my off day. I remember I worked at Walmart,
and specifically going to the other Walmart in town to
avoid my coworkers or managers. It just feels awkward to me, Like,
y'all are seeing me my regular clothes.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
You what, that's adorable. That's the cutest, cutest confession. But
you're gonna start.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
Well, I love a Walmart, eh, do you?

Speaker 4 (31:39):
No?

Speaker 3 (31:42):
No, only reason to go to a Walmart is to
feel better about yourself, Like I'll go If not, I'm
like an elitist, but just like I'm on more of
a superficial physical like I am the hottest person in
this Walmart right now.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Like that.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
I used to work in a Walmart. I worked at
one in high school for like a month. They have
told the story.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
He knows.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
I give him the look. I'm like, you have to
tell you this story.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
That Candas does not know?

Speaker 4 (32:12):
Where are you from?

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Ohio?

Speaker 1 (32:14):
I don't Ohio a year ago. I left that you knew.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
I'm not even kidding about every third podcast or guests
somehow it's from Ohio. We're in Ohio.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
Cincinnati, no way.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
We were just there, like okay, so we went to
Jeff Ruby's steakhouse and took my dad there for seventieth
birthday and wherever because he you know it. Okay, what
high school? Did you go to?

Speaker 4 (32:44):
Princeton High School?

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Yancy? Okay, Okay, do you know?

Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yeah? We were.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Do you ever go back there?

Speaker 4 (32:53):
I go back every Christmas?

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Okay, there is uh, there's a sushi restaurant up on
a hill overlooking the water in that cute little neighborhood.
It was restaurants and bars there on the Cincinnati Shide
Park kind of by Hyde Park. It's called something else.
I think, Oh, it's called the restaurant. It's called Teak.
I don't know if it's still there. It's a sushi restaurant.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
I've been there.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
I would haven't been there since I like since before
I moved down the year so we're talking like.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
Two thousand and three.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Same, Yeah, I got food poisoning from the fish lord.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
She's like, yeah, I remember that Teak. Oh my love,
I haven't been there, and the reason I haven't been
back is because they poisoned my stomach. Full circle moment.
That's why I'm begging.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Now, circling back to the first thing I told you, Right,
it all starts in Ohio.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Hell again, listen back to the Walmart though the confession. Yes,
I don't agree with this person because you said that
you went to the other Walmart in town because you
didn't want your coworkers see you on your regular clothes.
I was the opposite. I'm shamed. When I worked at Like,
when I worked at AT and T in college, I would

(34:08):
roll in there when I had no like, I didn't
need to go there in my regular clothes, so you
used to see what I look like. Yes, side, when
I'm in my regular when I'm wearing my all doodoo browns.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
I used to wear all brown brown, so.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
You need to see me flossing in my all brown
so I'm blending in looking like a Snickers bar and
I walk in because everything was just the same color.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
So yeah, you did wear hell of brown when we met,
lots of I was the same mate. I would always
go into work on my day off just be like, yeah, like,
how cute I am?

Speaker 3 (34:37):
Right right, this is what I look like in real life,
while you guys get the broke down version of me.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
This is what I know. This is just a stunt
on people exact same son.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
I don't understand the logic because to look, it's better.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
On her at work than she doesn't hurt. That's shad.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
I mean, unless unless she didn't want to make her
coworkers feel bad or day, I don't know, unless they
want to make their co workers feel bad, Like, let
me just expose them to like the beauty and the
grace that I exhibit when I'm outside of my work clothes.
They can't handle it.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
Canvas, what a benevolent she's a humanitarian.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Well, I'm curious when did nosey Neighbors launch. How long
has it been going?

Speaker 4 (35:19):
E launched?

Speaker 3 (35:19):
It was so crazy, So it's hard for me because
it all happened during the pandemic. So we did the
pilot to pitch to to sell it as a show.
We recorded that the week weekend that we went to Lockdown.
Oh wow, So that was March of twenty twenty, and
then we didn't find out that it got picked up
for episodes until July of twenty twenty, and then I
think we started recording the episode's end of twenty twenty,

(35:42):
so I think it dropped officially episodes Like the beginning
of twenty twenty one?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Do you find yourself now now that you're like doing
a podcast, do you find yourself like less inclined? We
like do your hair and makeup and go step onto
a set? Like are you are you still like has
it changed the way you perceive? Like what the word
work means?

Speaker 3 (36:04):
You know, we all got lazy during the pandemic, Right,
we were all in sweatpants and just like I'm never
putting on makeup ever again. Right, I'm never doing my hair,
not taking a shower. But I find like now I'm
having to put in just as much effort because there's
cameras at you, but like there's video. It's not just
audio like with our podcast. Yeah, but like everyone else's podcast,

(36:27):
like you got like video. I had another podcast that
I was doing. There's video when I do my shows
at night. Now there's professional photographer's taking pictures. So I'm like,
what happened to us not having to put effort anymore?
Because I'd be like, I'm constantly putting on makeup and
having I didn't do my hair. I did put on
a little something for this, but I was like, I'm
not I'm not brushing my hair.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Luckily, if we just look over your shoulder, we see
your true potential, so we're good to go.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
I'm so good I was. That's Candace with effort. That's
a young Candace with not as all.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
We know that, we know that well, we see that,
we see the dream in those eyes. But you're doing it,
and we're gonna do uh, We're gonna do this last
secret before we get to your secret. This is anonymous
male California. This person could be somebody that we know.
I say it every time. It's in California. It's a male.
They're anonymous, but I'm just saying they listened to the pod.

(37:26):
So it could be a friend, it could be a coworker,
it could be and we probably don't know this person,
but let me go ahead. Okay, my roommate slash BFF
and I are secretly married. Wait a minute, whoa completely platonically.
We just did it for the tax breaks. We'll get
a divorce if we ever actually want to get married.
And because of that, we chosen not to tell anyone.
It's our little penny saving secret. If you're listening, If

(37:48):
you're listening, I need you to DM me because our
tax lady said that us getting married was the biggest
mistake that we could possibly make. She's been saying that
for years. She was like, don't get married. It's not
going to help you in your taxes. And we're like, wait, what, yeah,
is that an urban legend?

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Why she said that. It used to be that it
was good to get married you got all sorts of
tax breaks. But the way that our income is earned,
we have a combination of of you know, traditional income
that does get taxed was the W two nine ten
ninety nine, And so we're like a mixed and we're
also entertainers, so She's like, it's not a good idea
for you two to get married, and I was like, wait,

(38:24):
so huh so I'm we've been together ten years, we
can't get married. I thought I thought finally getting married
would like give us a tax break, and so they
so what happens You prove gay marriage and then a
couple of years later say, oh, there go the breaks.
I don't like it, right, I don't.

Speaker 4 (38:37):
Well, yeah, no, I mean that sounds that sounds about right.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
But that's good to know because the way I got
my I just paid my taxes and I'm like thinking
about should I just import a little tiny man from
Taiwan and just get fair?

Speaker 4 (38:50):
Like should I have a mail order husband? Because I'm like,
but now that you're saying that I don't, I can
throw that plan by the way.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
So I was really contemplating I just need to just
get married to somebody.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
Was ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
I feel like justice as a friend who just knows
you casually, I feel like that that that's probably a
bad game plan on many levels to begin with.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
However, wait, I mean, what's that show? You could be
one or married at first? There's plenty of options for you.

Speaker 4 (39:21):
You are corrected, man, I should probably do some serious.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Just to make before we pull the trigger. But I
understand because the man in la are trash. I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
I do.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
I do know some friend I remember, we have, We
do have friends that that one of them they're married,
the same sex couple, and one of them was not
an American. And I remember when I first met, I
was like, did you guys get married just so you
could have a so you could become a citizen? Is
that how it happened? Turns out they were very much
in love with each other, you know what we're talking about.
But yeah, listen, marriage is funny, and yeah, if you

(39:53):
want to use marriage as a tool to get something
better out of life, who's to say what who gets married?
My dad's married four times. I mean like she just
gets married for fun. So like, right, I'm cool with it.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, we're getting married. It's gonna happen, man. Apparently for love. Yeah,
we're doing it for love. Apparently we don't get any
tax bricks from it. Okay, So now we're going to
take a quick break and we come back. Kandas is
going to reveal her confession to us. That is going
to shock us all.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Welcome back to dress your message the moment evolve and
waiting for funny Girl kandas Thompson is about to reveal
her secret. You know, Okay, I just got to ask
you because are you anxious right now at all?

Speaker 3 (40:45):
No?

Speaker 4 (40:46):
I mean what I'm about to say.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
I've actually said like it's it is definitely something that
most people don't know about me, for sure, Like my
closest even some of my closest friens probably don't know that.
I'm really weird about what I'm about to say. But
I've also said some other very personal too. So you know,
I'm a comedian, so like I've very like, you know,
interesting things, personal things on stage.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
I'm used to sharing that part of my life.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
But there's a little part of it's like Henna's people
don't know about this now too.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
Oh so we already knew about the gas or now
we know about the gas and I'm about to find
something else.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Okay, it's time for you to confess your mess.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
So I have a little bit of OCD when it
comes to germs and dirt. So I have little weird
behaviors that I do that if somebody were to ever
live with me and see I mean, Emil, you did
live with me, what you.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
Never even saw?

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Because it's like it'll be in my bedroom. It's bedroom
behavior and it's also bathroom behavior.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
So so here's.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
Here's an example, but it is this is living room
behavior that I'm about to say. So I don't like
when people come to my shoes off immediately, shoes off immediately.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
I don't like shoes trek through my house. But also
it bothers me outdoor pants.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
I don't like outdoor pantsts. I'm saying it so casually
because this is how I speak, like, Yeah, everyone has
indoor pants and outdoor pants. There are pants that I

(42:34):
do not sit on my bed if I would. Let's
say I just came from outside and I was gone
for the day running errands, and I went to the
movie theater and I come home. I will not sit
on my bed. I honestly, I don't even sit on
my couch in these pants. Now, if I have other
people that come to my house, obviously they have to
wear their outdoor pants inside so they can sit on

(42:55):
my couch. But let's say if it was a guy
that I was seeing and I take him to my bedroom.
I would not want his outdoor pants on my bed,
Like I don't sit on my bed in my in
my jeans I put on, for example, what I'm wearing
right now, I have on my indoor. These are like
little sweatpants that don't see the light of day. They
are inside pants. They've never been like in my car.

(43:18):
They've never been on a bus, fish, they've never.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Okay, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait whoa whoa
whoa wa. I'm I'm not I'm judging you.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
Okay, So I'm here for all of us.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
You did say earlier is better than since you got
some do it that there's a chance that when a
man comes over and he knows you're you're okay with
like the d but not the jeans, like that might
be a bit confusing.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
Usually the pants are gone before he even comes to
the bed, so it's not really even a conversation.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Oh okay, So so men be thinking, you're like, I
can't wait to get your clothes off of you, and
you strip them down in the lifting ron only because
you don't want to. Jean's on the bed.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Right, So then they just said there were blue balls
because they're like, oh, no, we're not having sex. You
just can't. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Did you think that? No? No, no, no,
you just can't have your outside pants inside.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
That's okay, you don't think that sounds.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
A little fun your pants outside the front door?

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
You know he's not a man.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
A man coming over there? He's one freeball.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
And you're like, well, where did this come from? Like
where is this? Did you pick it up for your family?
Is this did it happen randomly in your twenties? Like
is there just something that led to this?

Speaker 4 (44:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
I've always been weird about just dirt and germs, Like
my mom is super clean, she cleans, but she doesn't
she doesn't behave, like she doesn't have a problem.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
I don't think sitting on the I've never asked her though,
so I don't know. I don't think she would have
a problem sitting on her bed in her jeans.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
But I was brought up in a householdhere my mom
like he's bleach on everything. She would always like, So
I think that's probably where it started. And then also
I was like a science major in college, so like microbiology,
and I took a lot of like, so I know
that that is probably a part of it. And I
have gotten better as I've gotten older. But to me,
the thing is, I just I see, I see, like

(45:17):
when people are outside, and I just I just think
about like on a roller coaster, and I think about
the subway in New York, and I think about all
those asses that have been in those seats and they
wipe down, and I think about people I think about
sitting there, and I'm like, I don't.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
Want that in my in my wow.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
I mean, it's logical, it's logical. You sound crazy, but
it's very.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
I do think about that. Yeah, I think about shoes.
People put their shoes on their couch. I'm like, what
are you?

Speaker 2 (45:46):
So there are certain things we won't do, like shoes
don't go on the couch. We don't wear shoes on
our rug and it's got a new white rug. We
don't do shoes on the bed. That's kind of stuff,
or like on the kitchen calendar. I've never set my
shoes up there, right said, maybe upside down. If I'm
getting dressed real quick, I might do that for a moment.
He's still traveling, but we have a dog, and our
dog is on the couch with us. All the time.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
He rolls around, he.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Smells every hoop and then comes up on that couch
like it's nothing.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Elevator sniffing everything. Here's the thing that helping.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
Me is that I have a cat now, So it's
she's helping me come out of my shell because she's
not an outdoor cat, so I don't have to worry
about her like.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
Another dog's poop.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
But like she's in a litter box, which is kind
of gross, you know, and so and she's got hair everywhere.
So it's helping me to come out of my shell
and just be like Hannis, you have to.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
Live in the world and be okay.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
And most of the time I don't let it affect me,
like in like relationships, like if a guy came and
sat on my I wouldn't be like get out.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
I would think about.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
It for a second, Like I'd be like, Okay, Cannas,
this is a nebroades, get over it. You're not gonna die.
Just worst case scenario, get your comfort or clean. That's
a conversation that I would have in my head. But
I wouldn't like lose the relationship over it, because I
know these are my issues, and I know that I'm

(47:12):
getting better, so I would just have to be patient
with myself.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
This literally makes so much sense. All these years I
thought that I had a dream. But I remember, back
when I lived with Candace, I used to walk around
the house of my shoes on. I remember there was
one time at midnight I went to get some water
and Candace was in the scarf and she was just
swifting away, and I was like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Are you lying right now?

Speaker 4 (47:35):
Did I do that?

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Can't you imagine? Like I go to bed and Candy's like,
damn it, he's always walking around these damn shoes on.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Well, listen, this man right here, this man right here
doesn't know how to close the toilet seat or like
aim in the middle of I have my own I
have my own bathroom.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
He does. No. No, I'm saying, when I lived there,
I have my own bathroom.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
I'm just saying, I can understand why you might have
kick his ass out.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
And one time, one time I got up to a
shower for work and the sewage had backed up into
the shower.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
It did wait wait, she's just hearing this for the
first time, and they had.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
To call the well she don't live there anymore, but
they had to call the people to but it was
like all black like at the bottom of the shower.
It was disgusting. It was discussing it did that.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
That was the thing about that old place. That place
was so old like.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
And the old manager she was an old lady and
she never took care of it and so like the
carpets were disgusting. So I actually I wouldn't care people
who were their shoes in that place because I always
had my own pair of flip flops the house shoes
that I wore, so my feet ever TechEd the ground.
So because that place was it was just old and
I was only we stayed there that long because it

(48:46):
was ran control that it was cute. It was huge,
but we had three bedroom we had a parking garage.
We had a lemon tree in the backyard. We had
parking all all day on that street.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Lemon yues. I feel like the house shoes, I can
get down with that, that makes a little more sense.
But the outside pants and the inside pants, that one
that's going to stick with me for the rest of
my life.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Listen, we're not we're not judging you, and really weird.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
She's like, I'm not nervous, but ever since she told
us the secret, she won't stop playing with her hair
right now, just pick it up on this. She's like,
I'm fine, I'm totally fine.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Listen. Candice would not be okay. She would not be
okay with when we were airbnbing and we had that
one Airbnb person who came into our bedroom and pete
on the carpet, So that's another story for another day.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
While we were watching Dateline terrified.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Yeah, well we'll tell that to you. One time we
called the cops. But this has been absolutely fantastic every
single episode. Before we we end the episode, we like
to ask you from this podcast, what was your takeaway
of the day.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
Oh, my takeaway of the day, I guess is that
I need hell.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
I think you're lovely. A little bit a little bit strange,
but that revealed, But I think you are lovely.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Listen. We just know you have a clean, and and
and and spotless home, so that is an attractive trait.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Yeah, guys, is still a little bit more normal.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Also, a reminder our listeners before we go where they
can follow you on your personal socials as well as
where they can listen to Nosey Neighbors.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Yep, you can follow me at Jokes by Candice and
that's C A N D I C.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
E not Ace and that's on social media.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
And then for the podcast, it's a Spotify original, so
you can go and only find that on Spotify.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
So good, so good, Here's so much fun. So it
was so fun hanging out with you somewhere other than
a TV asle at Best Buy, so in.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
At Whole Foods. So well to come see uh one
of your shows. Candace is always out here in l A.
She is an extremely talented comedian. Oh funny enough, Sorry,
last thing, but before we let you go, tell me
if I'm correct. I was telling you AJ Gerard Carmichael,
I believe. When I was living with y'all, we went
to see one of his shows at the Improv on

(51:18):
Mail Roads.

Speaker 4 (51:20):
Yeah okay. I was like, I know, I've known Gerard.
He's a friend of mine. I've known for years. Yeah
so yeah, he said, so he came out on his
last special.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah yeah killed and on SNL we watched.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Yeah, I know he had a show on NBC. But
I was like, I'm pretty sure. Back when I lived
with candas and nice we went and that was one
of the first comedy shows I saw here in.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
La not a bad one. That is full circle.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
Moment and now has all the money.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
He is doing fine now can we are doing you?
Thank you so much and we will see you soon.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Love you guys, thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Love. Confess Your Mess is a Strawhead Media podcast produced
by Ryan Tillotson and Frank Driscoll. Thank you so much
for listening, and don't forget to subscribe and share.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
And if you have a secret you want to share,
go to confessormess dot us to submit your secret could
end up in the show.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
Copy your Man