June 10, 2025 • 59 mins
This week, Ari Medrano delivers a powerful testament to the depth and complexity of caregiving. As a Mexican immigrant who came to the United States at age one, Ari's approach to caregiving is deeply rooted in her family's values of service, love, and compassion. Throughout the episode, she shares multiple experiences of caregiving, including caring for her cousin with bone cancer, a homeless woman named Teresa, her brother who was a victim of a violent crime, and her mother during critical health challenges.
Her caregiving journey is marked by a remarkable ability to love creatively and find joy even in the most challenging circumstances. Ari's approach goes beyond traditional caregiving, incorporating humor, sensory experiences (such as using specific scents to uplift spirits), and an unwavering commitment to supporting not only the patient but also the healthcare workers around them. Her personal experiences, including her health challenges like heart disease and a brain tumor, have shaped her perspective, allowing her to approach caregiving with empathy, resilience, and a profound understanding of both giving and receiving care.
What stands out most about Ari is her philosophy of "givers gain" and her conviction that we can experience both pain and joy simultaneously. Her stories illustrate how caregiving is not just a duty, but a calling that requires creativity, emotional intelligence, and a deep capacity for love. Whether it was bringing Santa Claus to her mother's hospital room, providing comfort to a homeless woman, or supporting her brother through his challenging health journey, Ari embodies the true spirit of compassionate caregiving.
About Ari:
Ari Medrano is a Mexican immigrant who arrived in the USA as a one-year-old, the middle child in a family of five. Her parents have been married for 58 years. Ari's caregiving journey deepened when she moved from Texas to California to care for her mother and youngest brother, who both became ill simultaneously. She provided home hospice care for her brother in his final weeks, following his brutal injuries from a bank robbery. Concurrently, she cared for her mother in the hospital for six months; her mother is now at home, receiving care from all siblings.
As a mother of two sons, Ari also acknowledges their caregiving role during her own extensive health battles, which included multiple tumors, heart disease, a brain tumor, and numerous surgeries. She refers to herself as an "Olympian patient" and serves as a go-to health advocate for her family, friends, and community. She is notably a "1% Medical Miracle" who regained full mobility after being paralyzed by a craniotomy for a brain tumor extraction. Ari's legacy is defined by her philosophy: "Love God, Love People...creatively."
Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver
Sisterhood of Care, LLC
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie (00:00):
Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the
(00:02):
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver. Podcast. On the show,
you'll hear caregiversconfessing the good, the bad and
the completely unexpected.
You're guaranteed to relate beinspired. Leave with helpful
tips and resources and, ofcourse, laugh. Now let's jump
right in to today's guestconfession. Good morning. Good
morning. It's great to see you.
(00:29):
JJ, good morning. What
Unknown (00:30):
was that song from they used to sing? It was
Natalie (00:33):
like a little show, I don't know, but we learned that
song in church camp. RememberRise and shine? Rise
JJ (00:39):
and shine was what my thought I was awful because she
was like, that's way tooexcited. Guess what?
Natalie (00:47):
We have a guest. I am super ready. You know what?
She's she's also my bestie.
Like, if we could have recordedour our pre interview session, I
don't know why I don't recordthem, because honestly, we had
the best time. And we just chat.
I think we talked for like, overan hour and a half. We were
(01:07):
besties. She
Unknown (01:09):
definitely hour and a
JJ (01:10):
half. She always gets the besties, and I usually end up
being the bestie Ari. So justhold on, I'll be your bestie by
the time we're done. Let me telleverybody about, hey, let's talk
about Ari. Let's talk about Ariinstead of talking about us. And
you're not going you're notgoing to sing anymore. Okay, so
today we have with us AriMedrano, and she is a caregiver,
and she has cared for a lot, andI would say that her caregiving
(01:35):
experiences are profound. When Iread through her bio, she has
cared for a mother in law, astranger, a brother who was a
victim of violent crime, a nieceand her mother, all in different
stages of illnesses and all withreally different outcomes. She
(01:55):
comes from a family ofcaregivers, including two sons
who cared for her duringmultiple illnesses, including a
brain tumor. If you ever, Ithink, listen to a show Ari has
got, I think, a story thattouches everybody. Yeah, so Ari,
we are so happy. So manydifferent scenarios, so many
different scenarios.
Natalie (02:13):
Love, love, love. We are so happy to have you.
Unknown (02:18):
Thank you so very much.
I'm very excited to be here, youknow, no hurt, no pain, no
laughter, no What the heck itgoes unwasted.
Natalie (02:29):
Well, you know, we always like to get started with
getting some backgroundinformation about you, and I
know that the first thing youwrote, and I love this because
my sister in law is Hispanic,and you said, I'm a Mexican
immigrant, and you came over tothe US at age one, and I'll let
you tell more about yourbackground, about your family, a
little bit more about you, sopeople have like line of sight
(02:51):
to understand a little bit aboutyour background. But I love
that, because I love differentculture. I do too, and I think
there's something to be said forculture. And today, we're
definitely going to talk abouthow backgrounds and culture and
that sort of thing impacts careand how that's impacted you. So
tell us about you miss Ari.
Unknown (03:11):
Thank you so much. You know, I think just so important,
especially for those of us whohave immigrated right from
another country, to be able tosay, hey, yeah, me too, right.
You're not alone. We're allhere, and I got you, I know that
for me, as you were talkingabout how important it is, yes,
for me to state that I'm animmigrant, I got a flash in
(03:32):
front of my eyes of all of thedifferent journeys that I've
been on. I mean, just instantlyin caretaking, and I hope being
an immigrant was a huge portionof what catapulted me to what I
believe be an excellentcaretaker. Because what I
remember very early on in myearly years and coming to
(03:54):
America, I remember there was aknock on on the door. We were
in, and we lived in anapartment. We were undocumented
at that time. We when peopleknock on the door for those
folks who are not documented,typically they open the door. No
problem. We were like, who's outthe door? Right? It's right. And
it was actually, it was actuallyour neighbor, and she just knew
(04:17):
that we were, you know,financially challenged at the
time. And so she came over withfood and all of these things,
and then she said to my mother,you know, the government gives
you money. And she my mother waslike, What do you mean? And she
says, yeah, they help supportyou. So I can, you know, talk to
you about that. And of course,what she meant was, you know,
the welfare system, you know,during that time, and my mother
(04:39):
was so taken back. And this isnot to say that anyone should
not be receiving, you know,additional services of any kind,
but the point was, my mother wasso taken back. She says, What?
No, we came to this country togive, not to take. Oh, wow. Can
I tell you that that mold? Inall of the children. Because
(05:02):
when I look at all that we do,each one of us, we are people of
service, and we've chosenservice industries. And when I
say that, you know, I'm going totie that into caregiving. We are
people who give. And so when youare in need, no matter what we
have, we are going to share. Andeven even if it means that I may
(05:26):
go without for a little bit, Iknow that my neighbor has me,
and so my neighbor will come toshare, just like that neighbor
did, yeah, she came to share herbread. Yeah, right. And so it
was such a beautiful moment whenI was so young in those multiple
years that I mold was moldedinto being a caretaker and to
being a giver. And what I'velearned all of these years is
(05:48):
that givers gain. So that is thebeginning of my my journey here
in the United States. Oh,
JJ (05:53):
I love that givers gain. Now you mentioned other family
members. How many brothers andsisters do you have? Oh, yes,
where are you in the birthorder?
Unknown (06:05):
So there are five?
Well, there were five of us.
Yeah, there. My mother actuallygave birth to six children. One
of them she lost when she waseight months pregnant. The
second one we just has left thisbeautiful earth here in a
(06:26):
physical body, and just twoshort years ago, and so there
were five of us here. I was thebeautiful, colorful middle child
that blessed everybody.
That's right, she was themiddle. Here we go. There we
are.
There we are. Our middle.
There's so much to be said forthat. Our delve
Natalie (06:44):
into that. We all know what happens when you're a
middle yellow mustard. And so JJis over there sitting in her
gray Poupon Ness. And so
JJ (06:54):
says the oldest. So you know how it is for an oldest. So,
Natalie (06:57):
so tell us. Let's, let's kind of walk through so
you grew up, you grew up in now,remind me, you grew up. You flew
I see you grew up in California,okay? I wanted to make sure,
yeah, grew up in California andand had your childhood had with
your siblings, that sort ofthing, and went off and flew the
(07:19):
coop and started life. Tell us.
Tell us how, but, but you hadcare sprinkled throughout your
entire life because I feel likeyou have a servant heart. I love
that you say that you're giver,but I'm also like, yeah, you're
another word for giver is aservant heart. And so you've had
multiple bouts of caregiving,and and you may not have even
(07:40):
really self identified as that.
So let's, let's talk about,where did, where did that first
caregiving, that first boutexperience of caregiving, begin
Unknown (07:54):
with, with my me taking care of my family, or was it
myself? I'm so sorry. Oh, no
Natalie (08:00):
with your family.
Unknown (08:02):
Okay, so it would be, I watched my mother really go
through a lot of medicalchallenges while I was growing
up. So with the fifth child,which is my youngest sister,
they were told that she had tochoose. My mother was told that
she had to choose between, itwas her life or the baby,
because she had a lot of just,you know, female challenges
(08:23):
going on. And my mother decidedneither like, we're both going
to live, we're both going tolive. And so they said, Well,
that wasn't going to bepossible. My mother did not make
a decision. They had my fathermake a decision. And they said,
we can only save one of them.
You need to choose. And myfather at Mo was a very, you
know, faith filled, man. I'm aproduct and daughter of two. A
(08:44):
beautiful word is going in myhead in Spanish. Excuse me, my
first language is Spanish, andI'm thinking of it in Spanish.
They were both two preachers.
Yes, I wanted to say prettygood. Otherwise, they are both
two preachers. And so we werevery faith built. And my father
says, No, I I choose both ofthem, and I choose God. And my
(09:07):
sister was born beautiful,healthy, and my mother, yes, she
lost a lot of blood during thetime, and she came home, and she
also needed, you know, care. Andso I believe I was in the, I
think, eighth grade. And so Isaw how my mother needed care.
(09:27):
And I think I was just beingkind of mentored during that
time. Was you're gonna have alife of caregiving, so look at
the details, right? And so Iwithout knowing, I was
definitely being shown how it isto care in love and in good
spirit. I don't ever rememberanyone coming in angry or upset
(09:48):
or or having a less than you gotthis, you know, the spirit.
There were always faith filledpeople, the rooms, the room was
always, and I say, do say rooms,because whether it was a living
room, the family. Room, thekitchen, my mother's bedroom was
always filled with great senseand a great sense of self in the
(10:08):
house. And so that was the firsttime that I had seen it done.
And then I saw my mother do itseveral times. So by the time
the time came for the very firstone was my cousin. And my cousin
at that time, I believe she wasdiagnosed at eight years old and
with with bone cancer. She livedin Mexico. There was a big
(10:30):
difference from where she lived,not only in location, but in the
home that she had. So in theirhome, she only had non carpeted
floors. In our home, fullcarpet. Why this is so important
is because the bone cancerstarted in her knee, and it got
so bad that it there was oneamputation of one leg, and then
(10:52):
the second amputation of thesecond leg. And she might, she
would always say she wanted tocome and stay with us during the
summer. And the reason shewanted to do that was because
here in our home, the only placethat she could actually just be
herself and have fun on thefloor was in our home. So we
were the only family that hadcarpet. So she would come and
(11:15):
spend summers with us, everysummer to roll around literally
on the floor and play with us.
Incredibly beautiful. Wow.
Natalie (11:25):
Well, and I know that you said that, that even though
she was not, she didn't qualifyfor, like, the Make a Wish
Foundation, they helped get youconnected to the right people
because she loved Disneyland andKnott's Berry Farm. It sounds to
me like you know, even thoughyou know, would you say that I'm
assuming that you helped, whenyou talked about helping to care
(11:47):
for her, care comes in manydifferent forms, and helping her
to feel included, helping her tofeel cared for, helping her to
feel giving her a sense ofnormalcy well,
JJ (11:58):
and giving her really as a child, giving her that she
deserves that childhood, and youreally made that possible, yeah,
during that time.
Unknown (12:07):
Thank you. Yeah, we definitely did. We Okay, so just
full transparency. I mean, wejust treated her like one of us.
We made fun of her Absolutely.
He joked like we're like, oh,really, come and get me. Oh, you
have no legs. Sorry, sorry, you.
And she would just crack upbecause she was so used to
(12:27):
people tip it, toeing aroundher, or didn't want to talk
about it. She's like, hello,this is my life. Like, I'm fully
aware I don't have legs. Stoppretending like I do or I don't,
or you don't know what to dowith that. So I have been very,
very early on my poor mother andfamily. Like, I give it to you
straight with a chaser kind ofperson, but I have such a huge
(12:48):
heart, like, I know that I do,and so you know that about me.
And so everything that I do, Ido in love. And then I hold you
capable of, if you think thatthere's something else going on
that you'll just ask me, and ifnot, then we probably shouldn't
be friends. She knew that it wascoming from love, right? And I
will tell you, she gave it rightback to me when she was 15 years
(13:10):
old, because this went on fromage eight to 15. So the last
time, and this is the time thatwe went to Knotts, very far into
Disneyland, she came out, and Iknow that was her dream. My
auntie called me and she's like,listen, I know that you're
involved in a lot because I Mycareer started in my early 20s
in the nonprofit world, workingwith marginalized people. I know
not a shock. So my auntie says,I know you're connected to a lot
(13:33):
of organizations of differentthings. This is what your cousin
wants. I don't know how to makethat happen. I don't have the
funds for this. And of course, Iknew she didn't have the funds.
Everything that they had wasgoing towards, you know, my my
cousin at this the time. So Isaid, auntie, like, don't worry.
I got this because I knew Iwanted her here with this. I
knew that these were the lastmoments. So I called the Make a
(13:57):
Wish Foundation. I had acollaboration with them, with a
nonprofit that I was workingwith, and they said, you know,
we don't work with internationalchildren. However, we will give
you the people that we areconnected to, and then you can
do the footwork. It'll be prettystraightforward. They will tell
you what you what you need togive them, and then, you know,
send that over. And they'll,they'll walk the steps through
(14:18):
with you. But I'm positive thatthese connections will will work
on for you and her. And sureenough, they did. They were
wonderful. Knott's Berry Farmwas great. Disneyland was great.
Think we also went to, we mighthave also gone to Sea World, and
there was another one. And Ican't think of the top of my
head right now, but they openedthe not only did they say yes,
but they said, how many tickets?
And I'm going, you know, we'reLatino, right?
Natalie (14:43):
You know we're Latino.
Unknown (14:46):
I love that. How do I sound grateful? And not just
like taking taking advantage ofthem, but it's like, no,
seriously, just alone. There's,you know. And so they gave us 10
tickets, 10 tickets. And. Andnot only was it just tickets,
they had a personal escort thatwe were given. They gave us
(15:07):
these VIP passes to amazingrestaurants and experiences. And
I mean, my gosh, they gave herthe most beautiful, beautiful
transition to heaven, like justmy gap between her being here
and her being in heaven. It was,it was wonderful. And by the
(15:27):
way, they also said to her, therides that you'll go on may
compromise you. So they didn'twant her to go in on go on any
of the water rides they shesaid, I don't care you. Realize
I'm dying, right? Like yourealize my time is limited. I'm
I'm gonna have fun regardless.
I'm gonna have fun. Yeah, andshe did. And by the way, that
did end up happening. Her allher filtration that she had
(15:49):
ended up getting infected, andshe graduated to heaven six
months thereafter. However,right before she graduated,
circling back to giving it tostraight with no chaser, and how
she gave it back to me. Shesaid, Hey, I really like your
boyfriend. I had a boyfriend atthe time. And she said, he's
really, really cute, you know, Ihaven't had sex yet, right?
Natalie (16:13):
Oh, my Lord, this is a G rated Ari.
Unknown (16:21):
She says, Do you mind if I borrow him? I mean,
seriously, cousin, like, like,I'm gonna leave a virgin.
Oh, my goodness, ourcaregiving just went like this,
like, five years ago. Oh, myGod, you know, I think we
Natalie (16:38):
do have to take a break. Take a break. We're gonna
take a break right there on thatone. So we'll be right back.
Unknown (16:44):
It's a new day for getting older, and a new day for
getting help along the way withcare. Scout, say goodbye to
aging care that makes olderadults feel invisible and family
caregivers feel alone. Say helloto a better path to finding,
choosing and feeling confidentabout aging care, whether you're
trying to understand what typeof care and which supports may
(17:06):
be right for your loved one, oryou need to find quality care
now, care scout can be yourguide. Learn more at care
scout.comcare forward is a technology
platform that connectsvolunteers with seniors, the
disabled and those with chronicor complex health conditions,
offering support liketransportation, home visits and
(17:27):
more detailsonline@careforward.io
JJ (17:33):
Okay, everybody, we're back here with Ari. We just got
through really a firstcaregiving experience. She did
it as a child, but she helped aniece. But you said you were in
your early 20s, which I foundthat to be really interesting.
You have another experience inyour early 20s, and at that
time, this was with a homelesswoman, because you were a street
(17:55):
outreach worker, which, youknow, I think is amazing. That
goes back to a lot of Yourservant heart. I want you to
tell me just a little bit aboutTeresa and really about how that
changed you, because there'ssomething you said that you took
away from that.
Unknown (18:10):
Oh, my goodness. And thank you for saying her name. I
think it's so important to saythe names. Yes, people, right?
And so, yes, beautiful Theresa.
I call her my little angel,yeah. So she was a woman who was
abused, and she was livingunderneath the five freeways. So
for those of you who are fromSouthern California, and you
know where that is, in East LosAngeles, down by Lorena street,
she lived there, and she had anabusive relationship that she
(18:33):
just could not find herselfgetting out of. She was also an
alcoholic. I would come and seeher anywhere between one to
three times a week under thebridge right to provide
services, to provide care, toprovide any resources that she
may need. And she got to a pointwhere she just looked very
jaundiced, the city kind of gotinvolved, because she would
(18:58):
always sit in front of a store.
People kind of didn't want herthere, and they were trying to
there was literally a wholetactical unit to get her off the
street. Yeah. So I said, Listen,give me a moment with her. Don't
do all the crazy stuff. I willget her to a hospital. I know
she's ill. I will get her to thehospital. She trusts me. I see
her all the time. Yeah, andtrue. So she did come with me. I
(19:21):
brought her in my vehicle. Itook her to the Los Angeles
hospital. There she ended up,yes, she had full jaundice and
kidney failure. I would see herevery day after work, because I
truly at that moment, I knew shewas alone. No one was coming to
see her. No one was asking abouther. I knew I was her only human
(19:45):
connection, and that just reallyweighed on me. And I remember
the my other, you know, outreachworker friends or people that
were going, what are you doing?
Like there's, there's millionsof
Natalie (19:54):
boundaries. The words you always hear is boundaries.
You must have boundaries. And.
And the reality is, is we're inHuman Services. And, yeah, you
know, boundaries. I thinkboundaries are really important.
So as a social worker, we bothknow we have to have boundaries,
but there's also compassion andempathy,
Unknown (20:15):
yes, and by the way, I wasn't being called to all of
them. It wasn't like I was goingmaking, you know, from 5pm to
10pm every single night, goingand seeing and visiting all now,
but I was definitely called toher and her situation, yeah, and
I went, and I would spend timewith her, and I would just hold
her hand. And I remember thefirst night that I was with her,
(20:38):
I said, Can I hug you? And tearsjust started falling down her
face, and she only spokeSpanish. So in Spanish, she
says, you know, get us at thatside of me, like she was
shocked. Like, what a hug. Yeah.
So I went in and I gave her thebiggest hug, and she just
remembering, as I'm telling you,she sobbed like a three year old
(21:00):
toddler.
I said, Dennis, I love you. Shesaid, Audie, I haven't been
touched like this in decades.
Oh, my goodness. How do you not?
How does that not change you?
(21:28):
How does that not burst yourheart open to being who God
called us to be, right? Love Godand love people. That's that
simple. You know?
JJ (21:38):
It is so interesting as caregivers, and we've spoken
with so many people that talkabout the importance of touch
and how impactful that can beand and how I think just, I
just, you know, don't be afraidto reach out and touch that
person, because that does reallyshow that compassion and that
heart. Now,
Natalie (22:00):
you know, I want to, I want to push because Ari has a
lot of different examples ofcare where she and people could
say, well, that's professional.
You got paid to do that. I thinkif you, if you really listen
into the tone, you're like, No,no, it's it. There's a, there is
a crossover. Because, you know,there's getting paid and then
(22:21):
there's getting paid like thiswas, feel like you won something
in that relationship, like yougot, you got as much as you gave
and and that's what I that'swhat I hear. Yeah, I know that
there was, I know that your yourfamily, your family has
experienced some challenges, andwith your brother and with with
(22:44):
your mom, and at one point,brother mom, at the same time,
two very different things. And Iwill say this because this could
be an entire episode. Is you hadyour own medical challenges. I
mean, own medical challengesthat really, I think, set you up
for the ability to, I think evenmake you a stronger caregiver,
(23:10):
because you have been a carerecipient. You have you have
received care, you haveadvocated for yourself, you've
had people love on you, and thatsort of thing. And so I think
there's a piece of that that'sthere and that you can I think
it's fine to weave that piecein, but I want to hear about
your brother, because yourbrother got injured earlier on,
(23:33):
and then I think there wereadditional complications later
down the road. So let's talkabout your brother.
Unknown (23:44):
Thank you. Yes, my little brother, Dwight or I call
him dwighty. Dwighty, the brat.
He was my little brother. Afterall, we still fight to this day,
he's in my head. So yes, it wasa early morning, and he was a
week away, or just three daysaway, actually, from going into
(24:04):
the sheriff's Academy. Mybrother is a serving sheriff. He
wanted to follow footsteps ofbrother, of course, so he was
putting in all of his time, andhe was working as a supervisor
for a were they called? Likethose people that drop off
money. Oh,
Natalie (24:25):
yeah. The what are they called? Oh, goodness, the still
armored trucks. Thank you, yeah,the armored the armored trucks,
where they deliver money frombank to bank. Keep going.
Brinks. Yes, correct. BrinkCorrect. Thank you. Brinks, you
can sponsor this. Yeah, and ifanytime we name somebody, we
always throw that out.
Unknown (24:46):
I love that. Oh, my goodness. Well, you know what?
The actually, the company wasthat Tron and they should
absolutely sponsor you. And sohe went, excuse me, one of his
employees called in and justsaid, You know what, I can't
make it today. I'm still sick.
My brother's like, no worries,it's my last day. I will take
your route. Oh no, no problem.
Wow. So the very first stop wasat a bank, and this robber who
(25:11):
was there was one, there wasactually five of them, just came
out and point blank, blasted himfrom head to toe, never even
asked for the money. Millionsand millions, and left my
brother on the street horribly.
I mean, parts of his brain wereblasted out his insides, his
leg, and so he was pronounceddead. At the scene, there were
(25:32):
some wonderful My heart goes outagain, to the police officers
and to the fire department. Theyhave when, when the scene is
hot, they call it, which meansthey there's no control of
anything. Fires are being shot.
They're definitely not supposedto enter the scene. There were
two firemen, paramedic firemen,that were having a coffee next
(25:54):
to Starbucks. Starbucks, goahead and sponsor them too. Yes.
And the scene was hot, but theyheard it, and they ran straight
into the scene while the chaoswas all happening. And they
they, as well as in on Walkersaved my brother's life. There
was an angel. His name was Joey,took off his shirt. And this was
during the time, by the way,when HIV was really, really big
(26:16):
and rampant, right? And so therewas just very scary time. There
was blood all over. He did notcare. He took off that shirt and
applied the pressure to mybrother's brain, where the part
that had been blasted out andthat that and the quick, the
quick attention from the the twofire men saved my brother's
life. And so he was pronounceddead about two or three times
that day. He clearly did not diestrong, strong, strong, strong,
(26:43):
strong. I mean, beyond a shadowof a doubt, the family, all you
know, came together, drove outthere, and that just started,
what was decades, you know, ofcaretaking. And so the first six
months at St Mary's Hospital,every single one of us took a
different day. They they had aroom for us there, you know, we
showered there. We stayed there.
But those six months, everyonehad their day to be there and
(27:05):
take care of dwighty, because wequickly knew that at any moment,
at any time, anything couldhappen to him, and if you
weren't there to causeawareness, you know, to the
staff, because he wasn't theironly patient. Yes, he was
critically, you know, in theICU, but he's still not your
only patient. We just knew thatit was so important in order to
(27:26):
make sure that we knew that wedid everything that we could for
him, we needed to be thereduring that time. And so
because, thank goodness we wereLatinos and we have such a big
family, we were able to spreadthe care. Yeah, was there
JJ (27:40):
ever a question about, okay, we're, we're gonna split up
these duties, or was it, youknow, was it like, hey, you need
to go to the hospital, or it wasjust a set we were all gonna do
it? Was it? There was noquestion about it at all.
Unknown (27:54):
There was no, there was never a question, yeah, that
never even crossed anybody'smind it was, What day do you
got? This is the day I got, thisis the day you got, this is the
day I got. Like, this is what wedo. I love that who we are,
yeah? I mean, even you askingthat question makes me go, what?
Yeah.
Natalie (28:14):
Well, for some families, they'd be like, Oh,
I'm busy, yeah? Or, Oh, I'd loveto, but there's the, you know,
everybody's always, I'd love to,but I
JJ (28:22):
think a lot of that, and I'll just, we always, we always
talk about culture, because alot of that does have to do with
culture. And, you know, we, wemet, you know, a lot of
different people that, and theysay that that is just the way
that our family was. And, youknow, it's just a culture of
that's why we do, yeah, that'swhat we do. That's how I was
raised.
Natalie (28:42):
So he gets out of the hospital and praise God, in that
sense, because that's, that'smiraculous, the fact that he was
pronounced dead, and then, andthen, you know, months later, he
gets out. But I know that he hascomplications, in the sense of
just his life is going to bedrastically changed. And I know
that he was left paralyzed andbrain damaged for over 20 years.
(29:05):
Was there? What was the carelike for him over those 20 years
and providing level of support?
Because a lot of people would belike, Oh, this is my
responsibility as a sibling,right? This is my
responsibility. What was thatlike? And especially as, uh, as,
and then two years ago, theprecipice that really kicked you
into full, full court press,
Unknown (29:29):
yeah, um, so the first two years he was married and he
had two children. Well, his wifewas pregnant at the time, and
she was, I mean, they, I believethey were only married for less
than than two years. So that wasa whole scenario in itself,
right? There came a divorce, youknow, quickly short thereafter.
I There's a lot of feelings inthe family that go around that I
(29:51):
just know that that was, she wasa, she was very, very young,
yeah, you know, very, veryyoung. And that's, that's a lot
just that grow. Own adult right,with some stability to take care
of, right? So they weredivorced, so the first two years
was really, really challenging.
The first six to eight monthswasn't as because my family was
my parents were the ones thatwere very, very involved. And
(30:13):
his wife, during the time, hadno problem. You know, with that,
she had been just given birth.
There were other she needed tobe cared of on a different level
herself by her family. So thatfirst year was was actually
okay. The second year was waymore challenging. He needed to
be transferred to a specialtyfacility that was very, very far
(30:35):
away. They actually moved there,and that's when the divorce
happened. And so my parents kindof had, they had a physical
break, but not an emotional one,because emotionally things were
very high, because he was sofar. So when the divorce came,
he had to live somewhere. He wasparalyzed all on his right side,
and he had the thinking ofprobably a third grader. At that
(30:57):
point, we lost the brother thatwe knew. Yeah, he lost the
family. He knew there was apoint in the hospital again. I
gave it to you straight with thetracer. I was like, Hey, do you
know who I am? Like, you knowme? And he was like, Uh huh.
It's like, oh, my name ischeese, right? Yeah, yeah. I was
(31:18):
like, Oh my gosh, you ding dong.
My name is not cheese. Like, Whyare you messing with him? I'm
like, No, he needs to alsounderstand like, no, no, let's
get this correct, right? So myname is so we would play that
little game. He He had to learnto trust us, to love us, that we
were there to support him, tosupport him, and care for him,
(31:41):
and that was a whole journey initself, right? So you you grieve
a brother who's still in frontof you, yeah, but he's brother
anymore, right? So flash forwardmany years. He came home to live
with my parents. My parentsbecame the ultimate caregivers
at the time. I during all ofthis, then ended up becoming
very ill, right? So I ended uphaving heart disease. I had no
(32:04):
idea I was 28 years old, and soI was pulled out of the
caregiving because now I neededcare being I had got married, I
was pregnant. I was given 30days to live at that time, so I
went through my own from 30 daysto 60 days to six months. I am
53 now, so I am okay. I'm nottoo shabby, by the way. So the
(32:27):
caregiving, I took a step out ofthat, because, again, I was the
one that needed to be cared for.
But my family continued on. Mysister was absolutely fabulous,
until the day he transitioned toheaven. My brother, we all
pitched in in different ways,right? But more than anything,
my mother, the stress that wesaw mom go through, and I think
(32:50):
that has a lot to not, I think Iknow has a lot to go through, or
speak to what she goes throughtoday, yeah, is she held all of
that in. It's when she sharedwith us. Yes, she there is.
There's almost like an exhale,but a very painful one, right?
That that he, she knows now thathe's safe and that he's in
(33:12):
heaven. But 24 hours, seven daysa week, my mom was feeling, is
this the moment that I lose myson? Wow, Is he breathing? It
she'd she'd give us stories. I'dgo in at 1am at 2am at 3am I
didn't hear him, like Russell.
If I didn't hear I had to go inthere. I just because at any
moment, any day, he could begone.
Natalie (33:34):
I'm going to pause this right here. Okay, and take a
break. All right,
Unknown (33:38):
looking for care in all the wrong places. Try care
scout. Our care finder helps youlocate long term care providers
in your area who are committedto quality, person centered care
with care Scout, you can alsoorder a personalized care plan
created by a licensed nurse justfor you. So say goodbye to a
path of aging care that'snothing but confusing, and say
(34:01):
hello to a more dignifiedjourney, including providers who
see you as you and a plan forquality care you can feel good
about. Learn more at carescout.com
care forward is a technologyplatform that connects
volunteers with seniors, thedisabled and those with chronic
or complex health conditions,offering support, like
(34:21):
transportation, home visits andmore details
online@careforward.io
JJ (34:28):
All right, everybody, we are back here with Ari Medrano, and
we've talked about her brother,who was a victim of a truly
violent crime, and we've talkedabout your Mom a little bit and
the care that she really tooklead for your brother. But I
know your mom became ill, andyou, after your illness, you
(34:50):
also became a caregiver for yourmom. She really carried a lot of
responsibility all those yearsas a mother. I really think it's
a little bit different caringfor a child, even though he was
an adult with some differingabilities, some special
Natalie (35:07):
how he had a ton of special
Unknown (35:10):
needs. Tell me about your mom.
My mom is this incrediblewarrior woman, just absolute
warrior. You ask her how she'sdoing, she's always fine. She
can have tubes coming out ofevery inch of her body, and the
woman will still say, I'm great.
And then she'll tell you whatshe needs and how she needs it,
(35:34):
and you absolutely need to giveit to her, like, because I'm
mom, right? And and because it'swhat I want, I mean, she's just,
she's amazing, and, and we alldo it. And even, even when she
was in the hospital bed and wewere losing her, she was still
giving do this and do that, andwe were still scared of her.
(35:55):
Well, it's a healthy fear ofmom. I think we should all have,
JJ (36:00):
like, a healthy fear. It is.
I but she came ill while yourbrother was ill as well. Is that
correct?
Unknown (36:10):
Yes, that's correct. So I had just come back from an
event that I was participatingin out of the state. I came
home, I get a call from mygodmother, who lives in Mexico,
and said, glad you're back, gladyou're safe. I need you on a
plane, and your mom needs you,and your brother needs you. And
I said, What are you talkingabout? And she says, Your mom's
in the hospital. And I said,Okay, now mind you, mom being in
(36:30):
the hospital wasn't like mom hasbeen in the hospital a plethora
of times, and so has my brother,right? So I just thought, Okay,
I'm the health advocate in thefamily. I'm going to get on the
plane. I'm going to be there fora couple of days. I packed a
little roll on and, you know,closed for 567, days. I thought
the maximum I'll be there is aweek. Got on a plane, went over
(36:52):
to devastation. And what Ididn't know that mom held to
herself, because, remember,she's fine. She had been living
with COPD for many years, andone of us knew. None of us knew,
and so now she had bronchitisthat turned into pneumonia that
is not as complicated by theCOPD. She's on 100% ventilation,
(37:17):
high flow. So for those of youwho may not know what that means
in the medical arena, that meansshe's never going home. Anytime
you're in any type of percentageof high flow that comes from the
wall, that's the oxygen thatcomes from the wall that your
your home cannot be capable ofdoing that right, right? So
she'll never go home. She'll endup going if, if they said, if
(37:39):
she survives this, which wedon't believe that she will, she
will have to be in a nursinghome for the rest of her life.
That is the one scenario that Iwent home to. The second
scenario was my brother was puton life support, exact like,
days apart from each other twodifferent hospitals. My brother
is now put on life supportagain, with all the
complications that he's alreadypreviously had the it will let
(38:02):
me add on to that the shelling,some of the shelling, scraps
from the bullets that he wasblasted with stayed in his body
all of his life. Thoseshellings, those particles
turned into cancer, into hisbody. And so, wow, his body was
infiltrated with with cancer. Sohis organs are now beginning to
shut down. He's being placed onlife support another you know,
(38:23):
he's on another hospital. So canyou just imagine, at that moment
you don't have time to thinkabout you like, I can't think
about me. None of the brothersand sisters were thinking about
each other in that moment. Weliterally were going, can you
imagine being dad right now? Canyou just imagine being dad
because he's losing his wife andhe's losing his son at the exact
same time. Like we don't havetime for emotions right now. We
(38:45):
have time to go into action,right so for me, because what I
had already been through notjust the heart disease, but I
had a bunch of tumors all overmy body. I'm a beautiful mosaic
masterpiece. Under all of this,I knew that I made a decision
when I was paralyzed from thebrain tumor that I was going I
wanted to walk, and I was goingto walk and I and I was going to
(39:07):
walk out here. That was adecision that I had made. So I
do a lot of talking about thosepersonal decisions and getting
the results of your life thatyou want. So I went to mom, and
I just said, What do you want,mom? Because it matters. It
matters what you want. Are youready to go home Jesus? And she
said, No. I said, have you hadthat conversation with God? She
(39:29):
said, Yes. I said, All right, sowe're going to do this, right?
We're living. She said, Yeah,teach me. Oh my gosh. From that
point, it was on, like, DonkeyKong.
Natalie (39:42):
No, I respect that, because we play Donkey Kong as
well, absolutely.
Unknown (39:46):
So, you know, you're taught,
JJ (39:49):
we were talking about that, but you're, you're saying that
all of this is going on, and youare strong. Is there any
emotion, though, in there foryou, like, at some point, you
have got to be exhausted.
Exhausted. And my other questionwould be, have you, I know that
you are a woman of faith, but doyou ever say, Lord, can you give
us a break? Can I just get abreak for just a minute? Like,
(40:10):
could somebody be healthy?
Unknown (40:15):
Absolutely. So when I said I went there for a week,
that week turned into sevenmonths. So you can imagine, I
lived in Texas. My mother livedin Southern California. I
thought I was leaving for aweek. What does that mean for
me? Financially, what does thatmean? Physically, what does that
mean? It it means all thethings. There was a point why I
don't even know if my car hadgotten towed. Where did I leave
(40:36):
my car? Did I leave it at theairport? I had no idea. No idea.
Wow. So there was a lot ofthings yes, right, that were
just they were just stacking.
They were just stacking. Andyes, to your point of, do you
ever have that moment to theYes, yes, yes. But I had to be
very cognizant of when thosemoments would come and where
(40:57):
those moments would come. What Imean by that is I had and also I
had to have the right personalongside of me to be able to
have that safe space, right.
There were moments where it wasjust me and Jesus, absolutely
that usually came in the car. Onmy way home, I was with my
mother from eight in the morningtill 8pm at night, sometimes
(41:18):
later, because I just gave thepeople that work there a little
bit of extra candy or candy, orwhatever it was, exactly,
Natalie (41:24):
I'm all about bribery,
Unknown (41:27):
100 Yes. So those moments were by myself. However,
I had my cousin, the one whosesister passed away. So my niece
ended up, excuse me, my cousinended up passing away at 15.
Right, graduated to happen. Andher sister was the caretaker
during that time in Mexico. Soher and I were connected all
(41:48):
throughout, right? And so I knewthat she had gone through many
challenges, and she also was thecaretaker to her father, who
graduated to heaven a few shortyears ago. And so she
immediately, you know, got on,got on a call with me when it
all happened, and so she let meknow, listen, I'm your phone a
friend. I'm telling you rightnow. I'm your phone a friend. I
(42:09):
know you've gone through a lot,I know you've been through a
lot, but this is a doublewhammy, and you're going to need
some more support. So what Iwould do is, when I my cup was
like, Oh, I John, I'moverflowing in so much
information coming in and noemotion coming out, that I would
(42:29):
go into a bathroom far far awayin the hospital, and I'd sit on
that bathroom floor. I know itsounds disgusting, but the floor
was actually clean in a corner.
Call my cousin in Mexico, andjust sob, sob, and talk about
how unfair it was, and talkabout my stinky siblings,
(42:49):
because it wasn't all cherry,you know, and flowers. There was
a lot going on when a brother isin a hospital and a mother is in
a hospital, then you have, youknow, the the Our Father, Who is
either falling apart or he's inla la land, like he's just going
everywhere, right? So how do wedeal with that? There were,
(43:11):
there were many moments where wewere not aligned. There were
many moments where there wasyelling. There was many moments
where there was a lot of loveand a lot of care. It was all
the things, all the things itfeels, all the emotion. And so
they weren't a place where I canheal and restore, right? So I
had to find a place, and I foundit with this one cousin who gave
(43:31):
me the safe space to just, youknow, emotionally and verbally
vomit and not hold me to thestandard that was coming out of
my mouth at the time. So there'syour answer, yeah, you know.
Natalie (43:45):
And I think that's so important, because I will tell
you. I mean, especially for me,I had a very small number of
people that I would be able toreally do that with. I mean,
clearly my sisters, the sisters,got it all that, and then we're
a safe place. And I hear yousaying to other caregivers,
(44:05):
especially when you're goingthrough really hard, but even if
you're not have your person, andif you get to have more than one
person, great, but have a personwho is a judgment free, safe
place where you can just wordvomit, all the thoughts,
feelings and emotions, withoutfear of rejection. And that's
really what it comes down to, isyou've got to have that. And
(44:28):
some people will say, Well, youcan have counseling, and
counseling is great. Don't getme wrong. I think clinical
licensed clinician has, theyhave their place in that, but,
but you're also that's one houra week, or, if you're lucky, to
and who is your person that isjust going to let you word vomit
like, spill out and and for alot of people, I think you
(44:52):
really have to ask permission.
Because I'm like, hey, I needpermission. Like, when I was
upset the other day, I calledyou and I said, hey. I'm really
angry. Can I? Can I just kind oflet it loose, and you're like,
and I'm ready, and then we're
JJ (45:07):
done. You were like, are you still there? I was like, I'm
here. I'm still listening, yeah.
And that
Natalie (45:10):
was exactly like, 10 minutes later. JJ, had not even
said a word, and and I was like,Are you still there as tears or,
you know, snot fest is comingthrough. And she's like, yes.
And I'm like, Okay? And I thinkthat is, that is anyone, I think
that comes down to, you know,whether it's caregiving or just
in life, having those peoplethat really lift you up and are
(45:33):
safe. I think that's important,and that especially in
caregiving. Oh, yeah, so I Jay,I don't, I can't believe, I
mean, like our time is our time,yeah, and it's time for sister.
Questions. I have
Unknown (45:45):
two. Is that okay? You can have as many as you want.
Okay, all right. Ari,
JJ (45:50):
do you feel you're going to be a caregiver for the rest of
your life? Like, are you okaywith that? With you? I know you
have both of your parents, Ibelieve. But do you see that in
your cars? And are you okay withthat?
Unknown (46:03):
I know that I was called to be that. Well, I do
know, or I feel that we're allcalled to care for people right
the now, the level that youcare, that the the investment, I
know that's different foreveryone. There are people that
actually shouldn't be caretaker.
Preach,
Natalie (46:19):
girl, preach.
Unknown (46:22):
Let's just be real. I'm like, I just need you to step
aside.
Love withlove. But here's the thing, when
it becomes about the patienthaving to now be emotionally
responsible for what you can'thandle on the other end of them.
That's right. Gotcha, you justsay goodbye. I walk out the
(46:43):
door. We're not doing thistoday. So I, however, know that
I do have a gift ofcompartmentalization and a gift
of bringing joy to a veryunstable, very hard situation.
So I will, literally, I willwalk in rooms of folks who are
not well. And I actually evenforgot there was a girlfriend
(47:06):
who I worked with, who Iactually care was the caregiver,
until she took her last breathtoo, because it was too hard for
her family. And I remember Iwould like go into the room, to
her room, to everyone, and belike, Oh my gosh, what are you
doing? You're so lazy. Get up.
Like, seriously,
Natalie (47:26):
I love how she infuses.
Humor is the best medicine.
Humor is medicine. Okay,
Unknown (47:32):
really is and so I do have the ability to just step
aside, like, put me aside, andit'd be just all about them.
Like, it's not like I don't havemy own stuff going on. I have a
lot of heavy stuff, but what Ihave learned throughout my life
and my journey is that I can dohard things. We can do hard
things together, and we can livewith pain and joy in the same
hand. Ilove that we can live in pain
and joy in the same
JJ (47:54):
hand. Okay, here's my sister question. You say that your
legacy, says my legacy love Godand love people creatively. Tell
me about creatively. Give me anexample of loving people
creatively.
Unknown (48:08):
Okay, so I will give you the example that my father
gave us during this time,because, as I said, Can you
imagine my poor daddy? So thevery month, this is when
everything was so heightened.
And by the way, because I'm justgoing to wrap this part up for
folks, my mother is now at homeat 2% low flow. Miracle. That's
right. So what daddy did thevery first month? It was during
(48:31):
Christmas when all of thishappened. Y'all so Thanksgiving,
Christmas, New Year's all thethings. Was in the hospital.
What did daddy do? ChristmasEve, Santa Claus comes to the
hospital. Santa Claus is givingcandy canes out to everyone in
the hospital. Comes into mymother's unit, right? Comes into
(48:54):
her room, comes over and kissesher. Mom is like, I mean, we
have this picture. First of all,mom's like, looking like, DOE
eyed, like a little girl, likeshe's happier one foot in, one
foot out, and then Santa Clausis there. She's looking up at
him so sweetly, and then hekisses her. And then we're like,
(49:14):
oh, it's dad. It's dad. BecauseI don't know what she was gonna
do, but it was so like, she waslike, her shit was very sweet,
and I was like, but it now,that's loving creative that is,
you know, being able to get outof self and go, who can I be for
others? And dad didn't just dothat for mom before he ended up
(49:34):
in mom's room. Dad was ineveryone else's room. And by the
way, never ask for permission.
Oh,
Natalie (49:43):
I love that. Like, Jack did not get permission slips.
Yeah, I
Unknown (49:47):
like that. Nope. He didn't care. He was like, well,
let them kick out Santa Claus.
Who kicks out Santa Claus? Ilove that. So,
yeah, creatively. So I have hadthat example all my life that
wasn't like the first. Time dadever did something like that? So
loving people creatively, lovingpeople where they're at, loving
them with joy, loving them withhumor, loving them, you know,
(50:08):
with candy canes.
We we wouldbring saunas like, Excuse me,
spa days into mom's hospitalroom, right? We would make sure
that she was oiled down, and wemade sure that the room, not
just that room, but the breakroom of the nurses, smelled
nice, so I had like a spritzerthat I would come in with, and I
(50:29):
would spray the room, or I wouldgo down the hallway. Actually, I
have one here. Again. Theyshould be sponsoring your all
Trader Joe's super lemon roomspirit. We this right here. I
think we probably spent at least$1,000
Natalie (50:48):
do you know it's so funny that you're talking about
the lemon the spray, because thesmell of orange actually lifts
your spirits. And lemon wouldmake sense. It's a fresh feel.
It is, it is a lift up. And ifyou think about, how do you use
lavender, how do you use I mean,think about that. Yeah. I mean,
Johnson's baby, that baby lotionfor babies, it's like crack. But
(51:12):
when those babies, there's areason babies smoke good because
they've got, they are bathed inlavender. And, you know,
peppermint. And you know, youthink about the sense that
really evoke and really helpstimulate and so, because when
we use all of our senses forself care, I think, and I hear,
you guys are caring for otherpeople in addition to caring for
(51:36):
your mom. And you know what Imean, you're caring for the
nurses because you're thinking,you're you're that insightful to
say we're going to care for you,because it goes back to when
caregivers need caregivers,right? Advocates need advocates.
Unknown (51:50):
Yes, they were so they were so worn, and you can see it
in their faces, right? I couldsee the switch, at least in some
of them. Thank goodness thatthey did switch it up. Others
just came in with some otherfaces, and then we're like,
yeah, like, yeah, we're notgoing to use that one anymore.
Yeah, by the way, y'all, youknow, you can choose who comes
into the room and who doesn't.
I'm just saying anything, anduse that power, yeah, positively
for the patient in the room. Butyes, I want them uplifted,
(52:14):
because if they feel good,they're going to give from a
good place, right? And sothey're human too, and they're
taking care of your human andeven though I go home at 10pm
who's watching her from 10pm to,you know, 7am when that's right,
when I'm not there, right? SoI'm going to care for you, and
I'm going to come with goodies,and I'm going to find out what
your favorite, you know, littlepick me up. Drink is, non
(52:36):
alcoholic, of course, that I canbring during the day. I'm just
gonna put that out. But, youknow, I can, I can bring donuts.
I can bring cookies. I mean, wedid that as a family. We would
be texting each other and going,all right, I'm bringing donuts
today. Oh, you're bringingcoffee today. The receptionist
the same thing, because poorthing had to deal with this
whole entire Latino family thatwould come in every day, all
day. Clearly, we were hidingwhen they were counting people
(52:59):
in the room. Oh, I support thatsupposed to be there. I said
those kinds of but yeah,creatively is, is all the ways,
all the scents, all the, youknow, the lotions, the oils that
the hair, washing mom's hair inreal products, right? Making
sure that those I broughtlocktane. You know, it mattered.
It mattered to be able to lookand feel and smell like a human
(53:20):
at that time. And so, yeah, andthen we had, you know, other
family members that were outwith my brother, which, by the
way, my brother did come homebefore mommy came home and we he
came home, home hospice. He cameoff the life support so wild
that God was like, yeah, no,we're gonna let him, you know,
go home to me at home. So we hadhim for three weeks at home
(53:41):
before he graduated to heaven.
And so I left mom stable. I wenthome to take care of my son.
Excuse me, my son. I did callhim my baby boy when I was there
with him to take care of him,because it was just too
emotionally taxing for my familyduring that time. And yeah, and
it was a very, very specialtime. And so he's now graduated
(54:03):
to heaven, but we loved himcreatively a lot. There we had
pillow fights with him. We werenamed Colleen, called him a jerk
so many times, told him he was abrat. Stop being the stinker.
Lakers suck, because he lovesthe Lakers. And so we just want
to get under his skin on purposeto get him to react. But loving
creatively, you know, as crazysiblings do, Wow,
Natalie (54:23):
I love that. I know. So here's my last question, here's
my last question. It's alwaysthe last question. And I always,
and I've been doing this. Imean, I think I've asked this
every episode for two and a halfyears now. You know what is your
favorite guilty pleasure? Butreally, a guilty pleasure is
really if I don't know why hasto be guilty, what's the thing
(54:45):
that you do for yourself? Likethere's so much fun you don't
want to tell you. Don't want totell anybody sharing with
anybody I'm not sharing likeI've had, we've had people say
everything from stopping atStarbucks and not telling
anybody that they were gettingit, they do drink it in the car,
just. For themselves, but whatis the one thing you do, just
for yourself, the one thing theway that you you fill your
(55:06):
bucket that you just love to doif you get the chance.
Unknown (55:13):
I don't even know if it's the guilty player. It's
just a pleasure, and it's whatfills my cup. And folks might
go, Oh my gosh, she's just tooChristian. She's just but I
listen. I did it before I cameon with you. I feel the
atmosphere with joy and praise.
And so I worship every morning.
And for me, as a faith filledwoman, it's in the only place in
(55:34):
the Bible that that it says heinhabits us, which is he lives
in us is he inhabits our praise,and so he like abides in us when
we praise Him. And so I am likethe praise crazy like Amen,
Lord, I was dancing around myplace before we started this
podcast. As a singer,
Natalie (55:54):
the atmosphere, you know, she's a singer, I feel
like she needs to come on thecruise with us. Because,
JJ (55:59):
are you a K love fan? Are you like dancing to Christian
music? Absolutely, I'm
Natalie (56:03):
gonna I am. I am a I will tell you if there had been
cameras in the room at MemorialSloan Kettering, when they would
take Jason out, I would listento Christian music while I was
waiting for his scans and stuff,and half the time and I and I
felt like I was sitting so much,and I would get up and I would
dance in the room. And there wasa time that he was gone, I'm
(56:25):
pretty sure I got 5000 steps infrom dancing in place and and I
felt so good. And I'd every nowand then I'd be like, I wonder
if one of those nurses come byto check in on me, and they
looked in the little doorwindow, and we're like, nope,
she's fine. She's crazy. I dolove me some dance into some
Christian music. I know itreally brings me joy.
JJ (56:47):
All right, thank you so much. Just for sharing, because
you have so many unique stories,but the way that you've
approached them truly is with aserving life. It's, it is, it's
a servant heart, and it's, it'sgive to gain. It
Natalie (57:00):
really is to gain. I like the love creatively.
There's a couple of phrases thatyou said that really stick with
me. Give to gain and just lovingcreatively, and it allows for
you to individualize that loveto that person. It doesn't just
have to show up in one way,because we are definitely we
love in multiple ways. Allright. Thank you so much for
(57:22):
being with us. We love you. Youare now officially an honorary
sister, and always be a sister.
And guys, thanks for being withus, and until we confess again,
we will see you next time. Bye,bye. Well, friends, that's a
wrap on this week's confession.
Thanks so much for listening into the podcast, but before you
(57:43):
go, please take a moment toleave us a review and tell your
friends about the confessionshow. Don't forget visit our
website to sign up for ournewsletter, as well as connect
with us on Facebook, Instagram,LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter.
You'll also find the videorecording of all our episodes on
the confessions website and ourYouTube Channel. We'll see you
(58:07):
next Tuesday when we cometogether to confess again. Till
then, take care of you. Okay,let's talk disclaimers. We are
not medical professionals andare not providing any medical
advice. If you have medicalquestions, we recommend that you
talk with a medical professionalof your choice. As always, my
(58:28):
sisters and I at confessions ofour reluctant caregiver, have
taken care in selecting thespeakers, but the opinions of
our speakers are theirs alone.
The views and opinions stated inthis show are solely those of
the contributors and notnecessarily those of our
distributors or hosting company.
This podcast is copyrighted andno part can be reproduced
(58:51):
without the express writtenconsent of the sisterhood of
care LLC. Thank you forlistening to The Confessions of
a reluctant caregiver podcast.
You.
Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the
(00:02):
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver. Podcast. On the show,
you'll hear caregiversconfessing the good, the bad and
the completely unexpected.
You're guaranteed to relate beinspired. Leave with helpful
tips and resources and, ofcourse, laugh. Now let's jump
right in to today's guestconfession. Good morning. Good
morning. It's great to see you.
(00:29):
JJ, good morning. What
Unknown (00:30):
was that song from they used to sing? It was
Natalie (00:33):
like a little show, I don't know, but we learned that
song in church camp. RememberRise and shine? Rise
JJ (00:39):
and shine was what my thought I was awful because she
was like, that's way tooexcited. Guess what?
Natalie (00:47):
We have a guest. I am super ready. You know what?
She's she's also my bestie.
Like, if we could have recordedour our pre interview session, I
don't know why I don't recordthem, because honestly, we had
the best time. And we just chat.
I think we talked for like, overan hour and a half. We were
(01:07):
besties. She
Unknown (01:09):
definitely hour and a
JJ (01:10):
half. She always gets the besties, and I usually end up
being the bestie Ari. So justhold on, I'll be your bestie by
the time we're done. Let me telleverybody about, hey, let's talk
about Ari. Let's talk about Ariinstead of talking about us. And
you're not going you're notgoing to sing anymore. Okay, so
today we have with us AriMedrano, and she is a caregiver,
and she has cared for a lot, andI would say that her caregiving
(01:35):
experiences are profound. When Iread through her bio, she has
cared for a mother in law, astranger, a brother who was a
victim of violent crime, a nieceand her mother, all in different
stages of illnesses and all withreally different outcomes. She
(01:55):
comes from a family ofcaregivers, including two sons
who cared for her duringmultiple illnesses, including a
brain tumor. If you ever, Ithink, listen to a show Ari has
got, I think, a story thattouches everybody. Yeah, so Ari,
we are so happy. So manydifferent scenarios, so many
different scenarios.
Natalie (02:13):
Love, love, love. We are so happy to have you.
Unknown (02:18):
Thank you so very much.
I'm very excited to be here, youknow, no hurt, no pain, no
laughter, no What the heck itgoes unwasted.
Natalie (02:29):
Well, you know, we always like to get started with
getting some backgroundinformation about you, and I
know that the first thing youwrote, and I love this because
my sister in law is Hispanic,and you said, I'm a Mexican
immigrant, and you came over tothe US at age one, and I'll let
you tell more about yourbackground, about your family, a
little bit more about you, sopeople have like line of sight
(02:51):
to understand a little bit aboutyour background. But I love
that, because I love differentculture. I do too, and I think
there's something to be said forculture. And today, we're
definitely going to talk abouthow backgrounds and culture and
that sort of thing impacts careand how that's impacted you. So
tell us about you miss Ari.
Unknown (03:11):
Thank you so much. You know, I think just so important,
especially for those of us whohave immigrated right from
another country, to be able tosay, hey, yeah, me too, right.
You're not alone. We're allhere, and I got you, I know that
for me, as you were talkingabout how important it is, yes,
for me to state that I'm animmigrant, I got a flash in
(03:32):
front of my eyes of all of thedifferent journeys that I've
been on. I mean, just instantlyin caretaking, and I hope being
an immigrant was a huge portionof what catapulted me to what I
believe be an excellentcaretaker. Because what I
remember very early on in myearly years and coming to
(03:54):
America, I remember there was aknock on on the door. We were
in, and we lived in anapartment. We were undocumented
at that time. We when peopleknock on the door for those
folks who are not documented,typically they open the door. No
problem. We were like, who's outthe door? Right? It's right. And
it was actually, it was actuallyour neighbor, and she just knew
(04:17):
that we were, you know,financially challenged at the
time. And so she came over withfood and all of these things,
and then she said to my mother,you know, the government gives
you money. And she my mother waslike, What do you mean? And she
says, yeah, they help supportyou. So I can, you know, talk to
you about that. And of course,what she meant was, you know,
the welfare system, you know,during that time, and my mother
(04:39):
was so taken back. And this isnot to say that anyone should
not be receiving, you know,additional services of any kind,
but the point was, my mother wasso taken back. She says, What?
No, we came to this country togive, not to take. Oh, wow. Can
I tell you that that mold? Inall of the children. Because
(05:02):
when I look at all that we do,each one of us, we are people of
service, and we've chosenservice industries. And when I
say that, you know, I'm going totie that into caregiving. We are
people who give. And so when youare in need, no matter what we
have, we are going to share. Andeven even if it means that I may
(05:26):
go without for a little bit, Iknow that my neighbor has me,
and so my neighbor will come toshare, just like that neighbor
did, yeah, she came to share herbread. Yeah, right. And so it
was such a beautiful moment whenI was so young in those multiple
years that I mold was moldedinto being a caretaker and to
being a giver. And what I'velearned all of these years is
(05:48):
that givers gain. So that is thebeginning of my my journey here
in the United States. Oh,
JJ (05:53):
I love that givers gain. Now you mentioned other family
members. How many brothers andsisters do you have? Oh, yes,
where are you in the birthorder?
Unknown (06:05):
So there are five?
Well, there were five of us.
Yeah, there. My mother actuallygave birth to six children. One
of them she lost when she waseight months pregnant. The
second one we just has left thisbeautiful earth here in a
(06:26):
physical body, and just twoshort years ago, and so there
were five of us here. I was thebeautiful, colorful middle child
that blessed everybody.
That's right, she was themiddle. Here we go. There we
are.
There we are. Our middle.
There's so much to be said forthat. Our delve
Natalie (06:44):
into that. We all know what happens when you're a
middle yellow mustard. And so JJis over there sitting in her
gray Poupon Ness. And so
JJ (06:54):
says the oldest. So you know how it is for an oldest. So,
Natalie (06:57):
so tell us. Let's, let's kind of walk through so
you grew up, you grew up in now,remind me, you grew up. You flew
I see you grew up in California,okay? I wanted to make sure,
yeah, grew up in California andand had your childhood had with
your siblings, that sort ofthing, and went off and flew the
(07:19):
coop and started life. Tell us.
Tell us how, but, but you hadcare sprinkled throughout your
entire life because I feel likeyou have a servant heart. I love
that you say that you're giver,but I'm also like, yeah, you're
another word for giver is aservant heart. And so you've had
multiple bouts of caregiving,and and you may not have even
(07:40):
really self identified as that.
So let's, let's talk about,where did, where did that first
caregiving, that first boutexperience of caregiving, begin
Unknown (07:54):
with, with my me taking care of my family, or was it
myself? I'm so sorry. Oh, no
Natalie (08:00):
with your family.
Unknown (08:02):
Okay, so it would be, I watched my mother really go
through a lot of medicalchallenges while I was growing
up. So with the fifth child,which is my youngest sister,
they were told that she had tochoose. My mother was told that
she had to choose between, itwas her life or the baby,
because she had a lot of just,you know, female challenges
(08:23):
going on. And my mother decidedneither like, we're both going
to live, we're both going tolive. And so they said, Well,
that wasn't going to bepossible. My mother did not make
a decision. They had my fathermake a decision. And they said,
we can only save one of them.
You need to choose. And myfather at Mo was a very, you
know, faith filled, man. I'm aproduct and daughter of two. A
(08:44):
beautiful word is going in myhead in Spanish. Excuse me, my
first language is Spanish, andI'm thinking of it in Spanish.
They were both two preachers.
Yes, I wanted to say prettygood. Otherwise, they are both
two preachers. And so we werevery faith built. And my father
says, No, I I choose both ofthem, and I choose God. And my
(09:07):
sister was born beautiful,healthy, and my mother, yes, she
lost a lot of blood during thetime, and she came home, and she
also needed, you know, care. Andso I believe I was in the, I
think, eighth grade. And so Isaw how my mother needed care.
(09:27):
And I think I was just beingkind of mentored during that
time. Was you're gonna have alife of caregiving, so look at
the details, right? And so Iwithout knowing, I was
definitely being shown how it isto care in love and in good
spirit. I don't ever rememberanyone coming in angry or upset
(09:48):
or or having a less than you gotthis, you know, the spirit.
There were always faith filledpeople, the rooms, the room was
always, and I say, do say rooms,because whether it was a living
room, the family. Room, thekitchen, my mother's bedroom was
always filled with great senseand a great sense of self in the
(10:08):
house. And so that was the firsttime that I had seen it done.
And then I saw my mother do itseveral times. So by the time
the time came for the very firstone was my cousin. And my cousin
at that time, I believe she wasdiagnosed at eight years old and
with with bone cancer. She livedin Mexico. There was a big
(10:30):
difference from where she lived,not only in location, but in the
home that she had. So in theirhome, she only had non carpeted
floors. In our home, fullcarpet. Why this is so important
is because the bone cancerstarted in her knee, and it got
so bad that it there was oneamputation of one leg, and then
(10:52):
the second amputation of thesecond leg. And she might, she
would always say she wanted tocome and stay with us during the
summer. And the reason shewanted to do that was because
here in our home, the only placethat she could actually just be
herself and have fun on thefloor was in our home. So we
were the only family that hadcarpet. So she would come and
(11:15):
spend summers with us, everysummer to roll around literally
on the floor and play with us.
Incredibly beautiful. Wow.
Natalie (11:25):
Well, and I know that you said that, that even though
she was not, she didn't qualifyfor, like, the Make a Wish
Foundation, they helped get youconnected to the right people
because she loved Disneyland andKnott's Berry Farm. It sounds to
me like you know, even thoughyou know, would you say that I'm
assuming that you helped, whenyou talked about helping to care
(11:47):
for her, care comes in manydifferent forms, and helping her
to feel included, helping her tofeel cared for, helping her to
feel giving her a sense ofnormalcy well,
JJ (11:58):
and giving her really as a child, giving her that she
deserves that childhood, and youreally made that possible, yeah,
during that time.
Unknown (12:07):
Thank you. Yeah, we definitely did. We Okay, so just
full transparency. I mean, wejust treated her like one of us.
We made fun of her Absolutely.
He joked like we're like, oh,really, come and get me. Oh, you
have no legs. Sorry, sorry, you.
And she would just crack upbecause she was so used to
(12:27):
people tip it, toeing aroundher, or didn't want to talk
about it. She's like, hello,this is my life. Like, I'm fully
aware I don't have legs. Stoppretending like I do or I don't,
or you don't know what to dowith that. So I have been very,
very early on my poor mother andfamily. Like, I give it to you
straight with a chaser kind ofperson, but I have such a huge
(12:48):
heart, like, I know that I do,and so you know that about me.
And so everything that I do, Ido in love. And then I hold you
capable of, if you think thatthere's something else going on
that you'll just ask me, and ifnot, then we probably shouldn't
be friends. She knew that it wascoming from love, right? And I
will tell you, she gave it rightback to me when she was 15 years
(13:10):
old, because this went on fromage eight to 15. So the last
time, and this is the time thatwe went to Knotts, very far into
Disneyland, she came out, and Iknow that was her dream. My
auntie called me and she's like,listen, I know that you're
involved in a lot because I Mycareer started in my early 20s
in the nonprofit world, workingwith marginalized people. I know
not a shock. So my auntie says,I know you're connected to a lot
(13:33):
of organizations of differentthings. This is what your cousin
wants. I don't know how to makethat happen. I don't have the
funds for this. And of course, Iknew she didn't have the funds.
Everything that they had wasgoing towards, you know, my my
cousin at this the time. So Isaid, auntie, like, don't worry.
I got this because I knew Iwanted her here with this. I
knew that these were the lastmoments. So I called the Make a
(13:57):
Wish Foundation. I had acollaboration with them, with a
nonprofit that I was workingwith, and they said, you know,
we don't work with internationalchildren. However, we will give
you the people that we areconnected to, and then you can
do the footwork. It'll be prettystraightforward. They will tell
you what you what you need togive them, and then, you know,
send that over. And they'll,they'll walk the steps through
(14:18):
with you. But I'm positive thatthese connections will will work
on for you and her. And sureenough, they did. They were
wonderful. Knott's Berry Farmwas great. Disneyland was great.
Think we also went to, we mighthave also gone to Sea World, and
there was another one. And Ican't think of the top of my
head right now, but they openedthe not only did they say yes,
but they said, how many tickets?
And I'm going, you know, we'reLatino, right?
Natalie (14:43):
You know we're Latino.
Unknown (14:46):
I love that. How do I sound grateful? And not just
like taking taking advantage ofthem, but it's like, no,
seriously, just alone. There's,you know. And so they gave us 10
tickets, 10 tickets. And. Andnot only was it just tickets,
they had a personal escort thatwe were given. They gave us
(15:07):
these VIP passes to amazingrestaurants and experiences. And
I mean, my gosh, they gave herthe most beautiful, beautiful
transition to heaven, like justmy gap between her being here
and her being in heaven. It was,it was wonderful. And by the
(15:27):
way, they also said to her, therides that you'll go on may
compromise you. So they didn'twant her to go in on go on any
of the water rides they shesaid, I don't care you. Realize
I'm dying, right? Like yourealize my time is limited. I'm
I'm gonna have fun regardless.
I'm gonna have fun. Yeah, andshe did. And by the way, that
did end up happening. Her allher filtration that she had
(15:49):
ended up getting infected, andshe graduated to heaven six
months thereafter. However,right before she graduated,
circling back to giving it tostraight with no chaser, and how
she gave it back to me. Shesaid, Hey, I really like your
boyfriend. I had a boyfriend atthe time. And she said, he's
really, really cute, you know, Ihaven't had sex yet, right?
Natalie (16:13):
Oh, my Lord, this is a G rated Ari.
Unknown (16:21):
She says, Do you mind if I borrow him? I mean,
seriously, cousin, like, like,I'm gonna leave a virgin.
Oh, my goodness, ourcaregiving just went like this,
like, five years ago. Oh, myGod, you know, I think we
Natalie (16:38):
do have to take a break. Take a break. We're gonna
take a break right there on thatone. So we'll be right back.
Unknown (16:44):
It's a new day for getting older, and a new day for
getting help along the way withcare. Scout, say goodbye to
aging care that makes olderadults feel invisible and family
caregivers feel alone. Say helloto a better path to finding,
choosing and feeling confidentabout aging care, whether you're
trying to understand what typeof care and which supports may
(17:06):
be right for your loved one, oryou need to find quality care
now, care scout can be yourguide. Learn more at care
scout.comcare forward is a technology
platform that connectsvolunteers with seniors, the
disabled and those with chronicor complex health conditions,
offering support liketransportation, home visits and
(17:27):
more detailsonline@careforward.io
JJ (17:33):
Okay, everybody, we're back here with Ari. We just got
through really a firstcaregiving experience. She did
it as a child, but she helped aniece. But you said you were in
your early 20s, which I foundthat to be really interesting.
You have another experience inyour early 20s, and at that
time, this was with a homelesswoman, because you were a street
(17:55):
outreach worker, which, youknow, I think is amazing. That
goes back to a lot of Yourservant heart. I want you to
tell me just a little bit aboutTeresa and really about how that
changed you, because there'ssomething you said that you took
away from that.
Unknown (18:10):
Oh, my goodness. And thank you for saying her name. I
think it's so important to saythe names. Yes, people, right?
And so, yes, beautiful Theresa.
I call her my little angel,yeah. So she was a woman who was
abused, and she was livingunderneath the five freeways. So
for those of you who are fromSouthern California, and you
know where that is, in East LosAngeles, down by Lorena street,
she lived there, and she had anabusive relationship that she
(18:33):
just could not find herselfgetting out of. She was also an
alcoholic. I would come and seeher anywhere between one to
three times a week under thebridge right to provide
services, to provide care, toprovide any resources that she
may need. And she got to a pointwhere she just looked very
jaundiced, the city kind of gotinvolved, because she would
(18:58):
always sit in front of a store.
People kind of didn't want herthere, and they were trying to
there was literally a wholetactical unit to get her off the
street. Yeah. So I said, Listen,give me a moment with her. Don't
do all the crazy stuff. I willget her to a hospital. I know
she's ill. I will get her to thehospital. She trusts me. I see
her all the time. Yeah, andtrue. So she did come with me. I
(19:21):
brought her in my vehicle. Itook her to the Los Angeles
hospital. There she ended up,yes, she had full jaundice and
kidney failure. I would see herevery day after work, because I
truly at that moment, I knew shewas alone. No one was coming to
see her. No one was asking abouther. I knew I was her only human
(19:45):
connection, and that just reallyweighed on me. And I remember
the my other, you know, outreachworker friends or people that
were going, what are you doing?
Like there's, there's millionsof
Natalie (19:54):
boundaries. The words you always hear is boundaries.
You must have boundaries. And.
And the reality is, is we're inHuman Services. And, yeah, you
know, boundaries. I thinkboundaries are really important.
So as a social worker, we bothknow we have to have boundaries,
but there's also compassion andempathy,
Unknown (20:15):
yes, and by the way, I wasn't being called to all of
them. It wasn't like I was goingmaking, you know, from 5pm to
10pm every single night, goingand seeing and visiting all now,
but I was definitely called toher and her situation, yeah, and
I went, and I would spend timewith her, and I would just hold
her hand. And I remember thefirst night that I was with her,
(20:38):
I said, Can I hug you? And tearsjust started falling down her
face, and she only spokeSpanish. So in Spanish, she
says, you know, get us at thatside of me, like she was
shocked. Like, what a hug. Yeah.
So I went in and I gave her thebiggest hug, and she just
remembering, as I'm telling you,she sobbed like a three year old
(21:00):
toddler.
I said, Dennis, I love you. Shesaid, Audie, I haven't been
touched like this in decades.
Oh, my goodness. How do you not?
How does that not change you?
(21:28):
How does that not burst yourheart open to being who God
called us to be, right? Love Godand love people. That's that
simple. You know?
JJ (21:38):
It is so interesting as caregivers, and we've spoken
with so many people that talkabout the importance of touch
and how impactful that can beand and how I think just, I
just, you know, don't be afraidto reach out and touch that
person, because that does reallyshow that compassion and that
heart. Now,
Natalie (22:00):
you know, I want to, I want to push because Ari has a
lot of different examples ofcare where she and people could
say, well, that's professional.
You got paid to do that. I thinkif you, if you really listen
into the tone, you're like, No,no, it's it. There's a, there is
a crossover. Because, you know,there's getting paid and then
(22:21):
there's getting paid like thiswas, feel like you won something
in that relationship, like yougot, you got as much as you gave
and and that's what I that'swhat I hear. Yeah, I know that
there was, I know that your yourfamily, your family has
experienced some challenges, andwith your brother and with with
(22:44):
your mom, and at one point,brother mom, at the same time,
two very different things. And Iwill say this because this could
be an entire episode. Is you hadyour own medical challenges. I
mean, own medical challengesthat really, I think, set you up
for the ability to, I think evenmake you a stronger caregiver,
(23:10):
because you have been a carerecipient. You have you have
received care, you haveadvocated for yourself, you've
had people love on you, and thatsort of thing. And so I think
there's a piece of that that'sthere and that you can I think
it's fine to weave that piecein, but I want to hear about
your brother, because yourbrother got injured earlier on,
(23:33):
and then I think there wereadditional complications later
down the road. So let's talkabout your brother.
Unknown (23:44):
Thank you. Yes, my little brother, Dwight or I call
him dwighty. Dwighty, the brat.
He was my little brother. Afterall, we still fight to this day,
he's in my head. So yes, it wasa early morning, and he was a
week away, or just three daysaway, actually, from going into
(24:04):
the sheriff's Academy. Mybrother is a serving sheriff. He
wanted to follow footsteps ofbrother, of course, so he was
putting in all of his time, andhe was working as a supervisor
for a were they called? Likethose people that drop off
money. Oh,
Natalie (24:25):
yeah. The what are they called? Oh, goodness, the still
armored trucks. Thank you, yeah,the armored the armored trucks,
where they deliver money frombank to bank. Keep going.
Brinks. Yes, correct. BrinkCorrect. Thank you. Brinks, you
can sponsor this. Yeah, and ifanytime we name somebody, we
always throw that out.
Unknown (24:46):
I love that. Oh, my goodness. Well, you know what?
The actually, the company wasthat Tron and they should
absolutely sponsor you. And sohe went, excuse me, one of his
employees called in and justsaid, You know what, I can't
make it today. I'm still sick.
My brother's like, no worries,it's my last day. I will take
your route. Oh no, no problem.
Wow. So the very first stop wasat a bank, and this robber who
(25:11):
was there was one, there wasactually five of them, just came
out and point blank, blasted himfrom head to toe, never even
asked for the money. Millionsand millions, and left my
brother on the street horribly.
I mean, parts of his brain wereblasted out his insides, his
leg, and so he was pronounceddead. At the scene, there were
(25:32):
some wonderful My heart goes outagain, to the police officers
and to the fire department. Theyhave when, when the scene is
hot, they call it, which meansthey there's no control of
anything. Fires are being shot.
They're definitely not supposedto enter the scene. There were
two firemen, paramedic firemen,that were having a coffee next
(25:54):
to Starbucks. Starbucks, goahead and sponsor them too. Yes.
And the scene was hot, but theyheard it, and they ran straight
into the scene while the chaoswas all happening. And they
they, as well as in on Walkersaved my brother's life. There
was an angel. His name was Joey,took off his shirt. And this was
during the time, by the way,when HIV was really, really big
(26:16):
and rampant, right? And so therewas just very scary time. There
was blood all over. He did notcare. He took off that shirt and
applied the pressure to mybrother's brain, where the part
that had been blasted out andthat that and the quick, the
quick attention from the the twofire men saved my brother's
life. And so he was pronounceddead about two or three times
that day. He clearly did not diestrong, strong, strong, strong,
(26:43):
strong. I mean, beyond a shadowof a doubt, the family, all you
know, came together, drove outthere, and that just started,
what was decades, you know, ofcaretaking. And so the first six
months at St Mary's Hospital,every single one of us took a
different day. They they had aroom for us there, you know, we
showered there. We stayed there.
But those six months, everyonehad their day to be there and
(27:05):
take care of dwighty, because wequickly knew that at any moment,
at any time, anything couldhappen to him, and if you
weren't there to causeawareness, you know, to the
staff, because he wasn't theironly patient. Yes, he was
critically, you know, in theICU, but he's still not your
only patient. We just knew thatit was so important in order to
(27:26):
make sure that we knew that wedid everything that we could for
him, we needed to be thereduring that time. And so
because, thank goodness we wereLatinos and we have such a big
family, we were able to spreadthe care. Yeah, was there
JJ (27:40):
ever a question about, okay, we're, we're gonna split up
these duties, or was it, youknow, was it like, hey, you need
to go to the hospital, or it wasjust a set we were all gonna do
it? Was it? There was noquestion about it at all.
Unknown (27:54):
There was no, there was never a question, yeah, that
never even crossed anybody'smind it was, What day do you
got? This is the day I got, thisis the day you got, this is the
day I got. Like, this is what wedo. I love that who we are,
yeah? I mean, even you askingthat question makes me go, what?
Yeah.
Natalie (28:14):
Well, for some families, they'd be like, Oh,
I'm busy, yeah? Or, Oh, I'd loveto, but there's the, you know,
everybody's always, I'd love to,but I
JJ (28:22):
think a lot of that, and I'll just, we always, we always
talk about culture, because alot of that does have to do with
culture. And, you know, we, wemet, you know, a lot of
different people that, and theysay that that is just the way
that our family was. And, youknow, it's just a culture of
that's why we do, yeah, that'swhat we do. That's how I was
raised.
Natalie (28:42):
So he gets out of the hospital and praise God, in that
sense, because that's, that'smiraculous, the fact that he was
pronounced dead, and then, andthen, you know, months later, he
gets out. But I know that he hascomplications, in the sense of
just his life is going to bedrastically changed. And I know
that he was left paralyzed andbrain damaged for over 20 years.
(29:05):
Was there? What was the carelike for him over those 20 years
and providing level of support?
Because a lot of people would belike, Oh, this is my
responsibility as a sibling,right? This is my
responsibility. What was thatlike? And especially as, uh, as,
and then two years ago, theprecipice that really kicked you
into full, full court press,
Unknown (29:29):
yeah, um, so the first two years he was married and he
had two children. Well, his wifewas pregnant at the time, and
she was, I mean, they, I believethey were only married for less
than than two years. So that wasa whole scenario in itself,
right? There came a divorce, youknow, quickly short thereafter.
I There's a lot of feelings inthe family that go around that I
(29:51):
just know that that was, she wasa, she was very, very young,
yeah, you know, very, veryyoung. And that's, that's a lot
just that grow. Own adult right,with some stability to take care
of, right? So they weredivorced, so the first two years
was really, really challenging.
The first six to eight monthswasn't as because my family was
my parents were the ones thatwere very, very involved. And
(30:13):
his wife, during the time, hadno problem. You know, with that,
she had been just given birth.
There were other she needed tobe cared of on a different level
herself by her family. So thatfirst year was was actually
okay. The second year was waymore challenging. He needed to
be transferred to a specialtyfacility that was very, very far
(30:35):
away. They actually moved there,and that's when the divorce
happened. And so my parents kindof had, they had a physical
break, but not an emotional one,because emotionally things were
very high, because he was sofar. So when the divorce came,
he had to live somewhere. He wasparalyzed all on his right side,
and he had the thinking ofprobably a third grader. At that
(30:57):
point, we lost the brother thatwe knew. Yeah, he lost the
family. He knew there was apoint in the hospital again. I
gave it to you straight with thetracer. I was like, Hey, do you
know who I am? Like, you knowme? And he was like, Uh huh.
It's like, oh, my name ischeese, right? Yeah, yeah. I was
(31:18):
like, Oh my gosh, you ding dong.
My name is not cheese. Like, Whyare you messing with him? I'm
like, No, he needs to alsounderstand like, no, no, let's
get this correct, right? So myname is so we would play that
little game. He He had to learnto trust us, to love us, that we
were there to support him, tosupport him, and care for him,
(31:41):
and that was a whole journey initself, right? So you you grieve
a brother who's still in frontof you, yeah, but he's brother
anymore, right? So flash forwardmany years. He came home to live
with my parents. My parentsbecame the ultimate caregivers
at the time. I during all ofthis, then ended up becoming
very ill, right? So I ended uphaving heart disease. I had no
(32:04):
idea I was 28 years old, and soI was pulled out of the
caregiving because now I neededcare being I had got married, I
was pregnant. I was given 30days to live at that time, so I
went through my own from 30 daysto 60 days to six months. I am
53 now, so I am okay. I'm nottoo shabby, by the way. So the
(32:27):
caregiving, I took a step out ofthat, because, again, I was the
one that needed to be cared for.
But my family continued on. Mysister was absolutely fabulous,
until the day he transitioned toheaven. My brother, we all
pitched in in different ways,right? But more than anything,
my mother, the stress that wesaw mom go through, and I think
(32:50):
that has a lot to not, I think Iknow has a lot to go through, or
speak to what she goes throughtoday, yeah, is she held all of
that in. It's when she sharedwith us. Yes, she there is.
There's almost like an exhale,but a very painful one, right?
That that he, she knows now thathe's safe and that he's in
(33:12):
heaven. But 24 hours, seven daysa week, my mom was feeling, is
this the moment that I lose myson? Wow, Is he breathing? It
she'd she'd give us stories. I'dgo in at 1am at 2am at 3am I
didn't hear him, like Russell.
If I didn't hear I had to go inthere. I just because at any
moment, any day, he could begone.
Natalie (33:34):
I'm going to pause this right here. Okay, and take a
break. All right,
Unknown (33:38):
looking for care in all the wrong places. Try care
scout. Our care finder helps youlocate long term care providers
in your area who are committedto quality, person centered care
with care Scout, you can alsoorder a personalized care plan
created by a licensed nurse justfor you. So say goodbye to a
path of aging care that'snothing but confusing, and say
(34:01):
hello to a more dignifiedjourney, including providers who
see you as you and a plan forquality care you can feel good
about. Learn more at carescout.com
care forward is a technologyplatform that connects
volunteers with seniors, thedisabled and those with chronic
or complex health conditions,offering support, like
(34:21):
transportation, home visits andmore details
online@careforward.io
JJ (34:28):
All right, everybody, we are back here with Ari Medrano, and
we've talked about her brother,who was a victim of a truly
violent crime, and we've talkedabout your Mom a little bit and
the care that she really tooklead for your brother. But I
know your mom became ill, andyou, after your illness, you
(34:50):
also became a caregiver for yourmom. She really carried a lot of
responsibility all those yearsas a mother. I really think it's
a little bit different caringfor a child, even though he was
an adult with some differingabilities, some special
Natalie (35:07):
how he had a ton of special
Unknown (35:10):
needs. Tell me about your mom.
My mom is this incrediblewarrior woman, just absolute
warrior. You ask her how she'sdoing, she's always fine. She
can have tubes coming out ofevery inch of her body, and the
woman will still say, I'm great.
And then she'll tell you whatshe needs and how she needs it,
(35:34):
and you absolutely need to giveit to her, like, because I'm
mom, right? And and because it'swhat I want, I mean, she's just,
she's amazing, and, and we alldo it. And even, even when she
was in the hospital bed and wewere losing her, she was still
giving do this and do that, andwe were still scared of her.
(35:55):
Well, it's a healthy fear ofmom. I think we should all have,
JJ (36:00):
like, a healthy fear. It is.
I but she came ill while yourbrother was ill as well. Is that
correct?
Unknown (36:10):
Yes, that's correct. So I had just come back from an
event that I was participatingin out of the state. I came
home, I get a call from mygodmother, who lives in Mexico,
and said, glad you're back, gladyou're safe. I need you on a
plane, and your mom needs you,and your brother needs you. And
I said, What are you talkingabout? And she says, Your mom's
in the hospital. And I said,Okay, now mind you, mom being in
(36:30):
the hospital wasn't like mom hasbeen in the hospital a plethora
of times, and so has my brother,right? So I just thought, Okay,
I'm the health advocate in thefamily. I'm going to get on the
plane. I'm going to be there fora couple of days. I packed a
little roll on and, you know,closed for 567, days. I thought
the maximum I'll be there is aweek. Got on a plane, went over
(36:52):
to devastation. And what Ididn't know that mom held to
herself, because, remember,she's fine. She had been living
with COPD for many years, andone of us knew. None of us knew,
and so now she had bronchitisthat turned into pneumonia that
is not as complicated by theCOPD. She's on 100% ventilation,
(37:17):
high flow. So for those of youwho may not know what that means
in the medical arena, that meansshe's never going home. Anytime
you're in any type of percentageof high flow that comes from the
wall, that's the oxygen thatcomes from the wall that your
your home cannot be capable ofdoing that right, right? So
she'll never go home. She'll endup going if, if they said, if
(37:39):
she survives this, which wedon't believe that she will, she
will have to be in a nursinghome for the rest of her life.
That is the one scenario that Iwent home to. The second
scenario was my brother was puton life support, exact like,
days apart from each other twodifferent hospitals. My brother
is now put on life supportagain, with all the
complications that he's alreadypreviously had the it will let
(38:02):
me add on to that the shelling,some of the shelling, scraps
from the bullets that he wasblasted with stayed in his body
all of his life. Thoseshellings, those particles
turned into cancer, into hisbody. And so, wow, his body was
infiltrated with with cancer. Sohis organs are now beginning to
shut down. He's being placed onlife support another you know,
(38:23):
he's on another hospital. So canyou just imagine, at that moment
you don't have time to thinkabout you like, I can't think
about me. None of the brothersand sisters were thinking about
each other in that moment. Weliterally were going, can you
imagine being dad right now? Canyou just imagine being dad
because he's losing his wife andhe's losing his son at the exact
same time. Like we don't havetime for emotions right now. We
(38:45):
have time to go into action,right so for me, because what I
had already been through notjust the heart disease, but I
had a bunch of tumors all overmy body. I'm a beautiful mosaic
masterpiece. Under all of this,I knew that I made a decision
when I was paralyzed from thebrain tumor that I was going I
wanted to walk, and I was goingto walk and I and I was going to
(39:07):
walk out here. That was adecision that I had made. So I
do a lot of talking about thosepersonal decisions and getting
the results of your life thatyou want. So I went to mom, and
I just said, What do you want,mom? Because it matters. It
matters what you want. Are youready to go home Jesus? And she
said, No. I said, have you hadthat conversation with God? She
(39:29):
said, Yes. I said, All right, sowe're going to do this, right?
We're living. She said, Yeah,teach me. Oh my gosh. From that
point, it was on, like, DonkeyKong.
Natalie (39:42):
No, I respect that, because we play Donkey Kong as
well, absolutely.
Unknown (39:46):
So, you know, you're taught,
JJ (39:49):
we were talking about that, but you're, you're saying that
all of this is going on, and youare strong. Is there any
emotion, though, in there foryou, like, at some point, you
have got to be exhausted.
Exhausted. And my other questionwould be, have you, I know that
you are a woman of faith, but doyou ever say, Lord, can you give
us a break? Can I just get abreak for just a minute? Like,
(40:10):
could somebody be healthy?
Unknown (40:15):
Absolutely. So when I said I went there for a week,
that week turned into sevenmonths. So you can imagine, I
lived in Texas. My mother livedin Southern California. I
thought I was leaving for aweek. What does that mean for
me? Financially, what does thatmean? Physically, what does that
mean? It it means all thethings. There was a point why I
don't even know if my car hadgotten towed. Where did I leave
(40:36):
my car? Did I leave it at theairport? I had no idea. No idea.
Wow. So there was a lot ofthings yes, right, that were
just they were just stacking.
They were just stacking. Andyes, to your point of, do you
ever have that moment to theYes, yes, yes. But I had to be
very cognizant of when thosemoments would come and where
(40:57):
those moments would come. What Imean by that is I had and also I
had to have the right personalongside of me to be able to
have that safe space, right.
There were moments where it wasjust me and Jesus, absolutely
that usually came in the car. Onmy way home, I was with my
mother from eight in the morningtill 8pm at night, sometimes
(41:18):
later, because I just gave thepeople that work there a little
bit of extra candy or candy, orwhatever it was, exactly,
Natalie (41:24):
I'm all about bribery,
Unknown (41:27):
100 Yes. So those moments were by myself. However,
I had my cousin, the one whosesister passed away. So my niece
ended up, excuse me, my cousinended up passing away at 15.
Right, graduated to happen. Andher sister was the caretaker
during that time in Mexico. Soher and I were connected all
(41:48):
throughout, right? And so I knewthat she had gone through many
challenges, and she also was thecaretaker to her father, who
graduated to heaven a few shortyears ago. And so she
immediately, you know, got on,got on a call with me when it
all happened, and so she let meknow, listen, I'm your phone a
friend. I'm telling you rightnow. I'm your phone a friend. I
(42:09):
know you've gone through a lot,I know you've been through a
lot, but this is a doublewhammy, and you're going to need
some more support. So what Iwould do is, when I my cup was
like, Oh, I John, I'moverflowing in so much
information coming in and noemotion coming out, that I would
(42:29):
go into a bathroom far far awayin the hospital, and I'd sit on
that bathroom floor. I know itsounds disgusting, but the floor
was actually clean in a corner.
Call my cousin in Mexico, andjust sob, sob, and talk about
how unfair it was, and talkabout my stinky siblings,
(42:49):
because it wasn't all cherry,you know, and flowers. There was
a lot going on when a brother isin a hospital and a mother is in
a hospital, then you have, youknow, the the Our Father, Who is
either falling apart or he's inla la land, like he's just going
everywhere, right? So how do wedeal with that? There were,
(43:11):
there were many moments where wewere not aligned. There were
many moments where there wasyelling. There was many moments
where there was a lot of loveand a lot of care. It was all
the things, all the things itfeels, all the emotion. And so
they weren't a place where I canheal and restore, right? So I
had to find a place, and I foundit with this one cousin who gave
(43:31):
me the safe space to just, youknow, emotionally and verbally
vomit and not hold me to thestandard that was coming out of
my mouth at the time. So there'syour answer, yeah, you know.
Natalie (43:45):
And I think that's so important, because I will tell
you. I mean, especially for me,I had a very small number of
people that I would be able toreally do that with. I mean,
clearly my sisters, the sisters,got it all that, and then we're
a safe place. And I hear yousaying to other caregivers,
(44:05):
especially when you're goingthrough really hard, but even if
you're not have your person, andif you get to have more than one
person, great, but have a personwho is a judgment free, safe
place where you can just wordvomit, all the thoughts,
feelings and emotions, withoutfear of rejection. And that's
really what it comes down to, isyou've got to have that. And
(44:28):
some people will say, Well, youcan have counseling, and
counseling is great. Don't getme wrong. I think clinical
licensed clinician has, theyhave their place in that, but,
but you're also that's one houra week, or, if you're lucky, to
and who is your person that isjust going to let you word vomit
like, spill out and and for alot of people, I think you
(44:52):
really have to ask permission.
Because I'm like, hey, I needpermission. Like, when I was
upset the other day, I calledyou and I said, hey. I'm really
angry. Can I? Can I just kind oflet it loose, and you're like,
and I'm ready, and then we're
JJ (45:07):
done. You were like, are you still there? I was like, I'm
here. I'm still listening, yeah.
And that
Natalie (45:10):
was exactly like, 10 minutes later. JJ, had not even
said a word, and and I was like,Are you still there as tears or,
you know, snot fest is comingthrough. And she's like, yes.
And I'm like, Okay? And I thinkthat is, that is anyone, I think
that comes down to, you know,whether it's caregiving or just
in life, having those peoplethat really lift you up and are
(45:33):
safe. I think that's important,and that especially in
caregiving. Oh, yeah, so I Jay,I don't, I can't believe, I
mean, like our time is our time,yeah, and it's time for sister.
Questions. I have
Unknown (45:45):
two. Is that okay? You can have as many as you want.
Okay, all right. Ari,
JJ (45:50):
do you feel you're going to be a caregiver for the rest of
your life? Like, are you okaywith that? With you? I know you
have both of your parents, Ibelieve. But do you see that in
your cars? And are you okay withthat?
Unknown (46:03):
I know that I was called to be that. Well, I do
know, or I feel that we're allcalled to care for people right
the now, the level that youcare, that the the investment, I
know that's different foreveryone. There are people that
actually shouldn't be caretaker.
Preach,
Natalie (46:19):
girl, preach.
Unknown (46:22):
Let's just be real. I'm like, I just need you to step
aside.
Love withlove. But here's the thing, when
it becomes about the patienthaving to now be emotionally
responsible for what you can'thandle on the other end of them.
That's right. Gotcha, you justsay goodbye. I walk out the
(46:43):
door. We're not doing thistoday. So I, however, know that
I do have a gift ofcompartmentalization and a gift
of bringing joy to a veryunstable, very hard situation.
So I will, literally, I willwalk in rooms of folks who are
not well. And I actually evenforgot there was a girlfriend
(47:06):
who I worked with, who Iactually care was the caregiver,
until she took her last breathtoo, because it was too hard for
her family. And I remember Iwould like go into the room, to
her room, to everyone, and belike, Oh my gosh, what are you
doing? You're so lazy. Get up.
Like, seriously,
Natalie (47:26):
I love how she infuses.
Humor is the best medicine.
Humor is medicine. Okay,
Unknown (47:32):
really is and so I do have the ability to just step
aside, like, put me aside, andit'd be just all about them.
Like, it's not like I don't havemy own stuff going on. I have a
lot of heavy stuff, but what Ihave learned throughout my life
and my journey is that I can dohard things. We can do hard
things together, and we can livewith pain and joy in the same
hand. Ilove that we can live in pain
and joy in the same
JJ (47:54):
hand. Okay, here's my sister question. You say that your
legacy, says my legacy love Godand love people creatively. Tell
me about creatively. Give me anexample of loving people
creatively.
Unknown (48:08):
Okay, so I will give you the example that my father
gave us during this time,because, as I said, Can you
imagine my poor daddy? So thevery month, this is when
everything was so heightened.
And by the way, because I'm justgoing to wrap this part up for
folks, my mother is now at homeat 2% low flow. Miracle. That's
right. So what daddy did thevery first month? It was during
(48:31):
Christmas when all of thishappened. Y'all so Thanksgiving,
Christmas, New Year's all thethings. Was in the hospital.
What did daddy do? ChristmasEve, Santa Claus comes to the
hospital. Santa Claus is givingcandy canes out to everyone in
the hospital. Comes into mymother's unit, right? Comes into
(48:54):
her room, comes over and kissesher. Mom is like, I mean, we
have this picture. First of all,mom's like, looking like, DOE
eyed, like a little girl, likeshe's happier one foot in, one
foot out, and then Santa Clausis there. She's looking up at
him so sweetly, and then hekisses her. And then we're like,
(49:14):
oh, it's dad. It's dad. BecauseI don't know what she was gonna
do, but it was so like, she waslike, her shit was very sweet,
and I was like, but it now,that's loving creative that is,
you know, being able to get outof self and go, who can I be for
others? And dad didn't just dothat for mom before he ended up
(49:34):
in mom's room. Dad was ineveryone else's room. And by the
way, never ask for permission.
Oh,
Natalie (49:43):
I love that. Like, Jack did not get permission slips.
Yeah, I
Unknown (49:47):
like that. Nope. He didn't care. He was like, well,
let them kick out Santa Claus.
Who kicks out Santa Claus? Ilove that. So,
yeah, creatively. So I have hadthat example all my life that
wasn't like the first. Time dadever did something like that? So
loving people creatively, lovingpeople where they're at, loving
them with joy, loving them withhumor, loving them, you know,
(50:08):
with candy canes.
We we wouldbring saunas like, Excuse me,
spa days into mom's hospitalroom, right? We would make sure
that she was oiled down, and wemade sure that the room, not
just that room, but the breakroom of the nurses, smelled
nice, so I had like a spritzerthat I would come in with, and I
(50:29):
would spray the room, or I wouldgo down the hallway. Actually, I
have one here. Again. Theyshould be sponsoring your all
Trader Joe's super lemon roomspirit. We this right here. I
think we probably spent at least$1,000
Natalie (50:48):
do you know it's so funny that you're talking about
the lemon the spray, because thesmell of orange actually lifts
your spirits. And lemon wouldmake sense. It's a fresh feel.
It is, it is a lift up. And ifyou think about, how do you use
lavender, how do you use I mean,think about that. Yeah. I mean,
Johnson's baby, that baby lotionfor babies, it's like crack. But
(51:12):
when those babies, there's areason babies smoke good because
they've got, they are bathed inlavender. And, you know,
peppermint. And you know, youthink about the sense that
really evoke and really helpstimulate and so, because when
we use all of our senses forself care, I think, and I hear,
you guys are caring for otherpeople in addition to caring for
(51:36):
your mom. And you know what Imean, you're caring for the
nurses because you're thinking,you're you're that insightful to
say we're going to care for you,because it goes back to when
caregivers need caregivers,right? Advocates need advocates.
Unknown (51:50):
Yes, they were so they were so worn, and you can see it
in their faces, right? I couldsee the switch, at least in some
of them. Thank goodness thatthey did switch it up. Others
just came in with some otherfaces, and then we're like,
yeah, like, yeah, we're notgoing to use that one anymore.
Yeah, by the way, y'all, youknow, you can choose who comes
into the room and who doesn't.
I'm just saying anything, anduse that power, yeah, positively
for the patient in the room. Butyes, I want them uplifted,
(52:14):
because if they feel good,they're going to give from a
good place, right? And sothey're human too, and they're
taking care of your human andeven though I go home at 10pm
who's watching her from 10pm to,you know, 7am when that's right,
when I'm not there, right? SoI'm going to care for you, and
I'm going to come with goodies,and I'm going to find out what
your favorite, you know, littlepick me up. Drink is, non
(52:36):
alcoholic, of course, that I canbring during the day. I'm just
gonna put that out. But, youknow, I can, I can bring donuts.
I can bring cookies. I mean, wedid that as a family. We would
be texting each other and going,all right, I'm bringing donuts
today. Oh, you're bringingcoffee today. The receptionist
the same thing, because poorthing had to deal with this
whole entire Latino family thatwould come in every day, all
day. Clearly, we were hidingwhen they were counting people
(52:59):
in the room. Oh, I support thatsupposed to be there. I said
those kinds of but yeah,creatively is, is all the ways,
all the scents, all the, youknow, the lotions, the oils that
the hair, washing mom's hair inreal products, right? Making
sure that those I broughtlocktane. You know, it mattered.
It mattered to be able to lookand feel and smell like a human
(53:20):
at that time. And so, yeah, andthen we had, you know, other
family members that were outwith my brother, which, by the
way, my brother did come homebefore mommy came home and we he
came home, home hospice. He cameoff the life support so wild
that God was like, yeah, no,we're gonna let him, you know,
go home to me at home. So we hadhim for three weeks at home
(53:41):
before he graduated to heaven.
And so I left mom stable. I wenthome to take care of my son.
Excuse me, my son. I did callhim my baby boy when I was there
with him to take care of him,because it was just too
emotionally taxing for my familyduring that time. And yeah, and
it was a very, very specialtime. And so he's now graduated
(54:03):
to heaven, but we loved himcreatively a lot. There we had
pillow fights with him. We werenamed Colleen, called him a jerk
so many times, told him he was abrat. Stop being the stinker.
Lakers suck, because he lovesthe Lakers. And so we just want
to get under his skin on purposeto get him to react. But loving
creatively, you know, as crazysiblings do, Wow,
Natalie (54:23):
I love that. I know. So here's my last question, here's
my last question. It's alwaysthe last question. And I always,
and I've been doing this. Imean, I think I've asked this
every episode for two and a halfyears now. You know what is your
favorite guilty pleasure? Butreally, a guilty pleasure is
really if I don't know why hasto be guilty, what's the thing
(54:45):
that you do for yourself? Likethere's so much fun you don't
want to tell you. Don't want totell anybody sharing with
anybody I'm not sharing likeI've had, we've had people say
everything from stopping atStarbucks and not telling
anybody that they were gettingit, they do drink it in the car,
just. For themselves, but whatis the one thing you do, just
for yourself, the one thing theway that you you fill your
(55:06):
bucket that you just love to doif you get the chance.
Unknown (55:13):
I don't even know if it's the guilty player. It's
just a pleasure, and it's whatfills my cup. And folks might
go, Oh my gosh, she's just tooChristian. She's just but I
listen. I did it before I cameon with you. I feel the
atmosphere with joy and praise.
And so I worship every morning.
And for me, as a faith filledwoman, it's in the only place in
(55:34):
the Bible that that it says heinhabits us, which is he lives
in us is he inhabits our praise,and so he like abides in us when
we praise Him. And so I am likethe praise crazy like Amen,
Lord, I was dancing around myplace before we started this
podcast. As a singer,
Natalie (55:54):
the atmosphere, you know, she's a singer, I feel
like she needs to come on thecruise with us. Because,
JJ (55:59):
are you a K love fan? Are you like dancing to Christian
music? Absolutely, I'm
Natalie (56:03):
gonna I am. I am a I will tell you if there had been
cameras in the room at MemorialSloan Kettering, when they would
take Jason out, I would listento Christian music while I was
waiting for his scans and stuff,and half the time and I and I
felt like I was sitting so much,and I would get up and I would
dance in the room. And there wasa time that he was gone, I'm
(56:25):
pretty sure I got 5000 steps infrom dancing in place and and I
felt so good. And I'd every nowand then I'd be like, I wonder
if one of those nurses come byto check in on me, and they
looked in the little doorwindow, and we're like, nope,
she's fine. She's crazy. I dolove me some dance into some
Christian music. I know itreally brings me joy.
JJ (56:47):
All right, thank you so much. Just for sharing, because
you have so many unique stories,but the way that you've
approached them truly is with aserving life. It's, it is, it's
a servant heart, and it's, it'sgive to gain. It
Natalie (57:00):
really is to gain. I like the love creatively.
There's a couple of phrases thatyou said that really stick with
me. Give to gain and just lovingcreatively, and it allows for
you to individualize that loveto that person. It doesn't just
have to show up in one way,because we are definitely we
love in multiple ways. Allright. Thank you so much for
(57:22):
being with us. We love you. Youare now officially an honorary
sister, and always be a sister.
And guys, thanks for being withus, and until we confess again,
we will see you next time. Bye,bye. Well, friends, that's a
wrap on this week's confession.
Thanks so much for listening into the podcast, but before you
(57:43):
go, please take a moment toleave us a review and tell your
friends about the confessionshow. Don't forget visit our
website to sign up for ournewsletter, as well as connect
with us on Facebook, Instagram,LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter.
You'll also find the videorecording of all our episodes on
the confessions website and ourYouTube Channel. We'll see you
(58:07):
next Tuesday when we cometogether to confess again. Till
then, take care of you. Okay,let's talk disclaimers. We are
not medical professionals andare not providing any medical
advice. If you have medicalquestions, we recommend that you
talk with a medical professionalof your choice. As always, my
(58:28):
sisters and I at confessions ofour reluctant caregiver, have
taken care in selecting thespeakers, but the opinions of
our speakers are theirs alone.
The views and opinions stated inthis show are solely those of
the contributors and notnecessarily those of our
distributors or hosting company.
This podcast is copyrighted andno part can be reproduced
(58:51):
without the express writtenconsent of the sisterhood of
care LLC. Thank you forlistening to The Confessions of
a reluctant caregiver podcast.
You.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.