Ever wondered how to blend joy, tradition, and modern pressures into your dream wedding? Steph, Rachel, and I have, and we're sharing all our secrets to navigating the wedding planning From venue hunts and dress dilemmas to bachelorette party shenanigans, you'll see it's about the journey as much as the 'I dos'—with all its laughs, sighs, and a touch of guilt.
Pour some bubbly and join us—this isn't just a podcast episode is for all those looking to kick off their bridal era!
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Stephanie Cardenas's Tiktok:
@stephhhcardenas
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@justbecauseitspretty
Rachel Schwab aka Just Because It's Pretty TikTok:
@justbecauseitspretty
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi guys and welcome back to Confessions of a Wannabe
it Girl, our bridal episodes.
I'm so excited to have mygirlies, steph and Rachel, back
for our second part of thisseries about all things wedding.
We are diving into the juicysecrets of your wedding, of who
you include in the planning,maybe who you don't.
All the good things we touch onpicking venues, how to know
(00:22):
when it was the right venue.
We even touch on picking venueshow to know when it was the
right venue.
We even touch on planning yourbatch.
And, of course, something I'mloving to see be talked about is
, like bridesmaids transparency,bachelorette transparency.
You know we're really diving into a little bit of what we
would say is some TikTok dramaabout the wedding industry and
(00:43):
how bridal era has gotten out ofcontrol.
And, of course, we talk alittle bit about our wedding
guilt and how you know being ina wedding or being a bride, we
see this huge controversy onTikTok and it really comes down
to just be a good freakingfriend.
So I am so excited to keepchit-chatting and gossiping
(01:04):
about all things wedding.
Welcome to Confessions of aWannabe it Girl.
I'm your host, marley Fregging,and I'm here to help you filter
out all the bullshit and becomethe next it Girl.
This podcast explores thereality of what it really takes
to make it out there.
As it turns out, it is way lessInstagrammable than I thought
(01:24):
it was going to be.
I'm still very much a work inprogress, but there's simply
nothing else I'd rather be doingthan chasing my dreams.
So let's learn from my mistakesand work together to achieve
our dreams with more confidence,clarity and direction.
Let's get after it.
We're back and we're talkingabout planning our weddings.
So, in the planning process,are you guys keeping this shit
(01:47):
very close to your heart, notsharing with anybody, or are you
, like, open to the committee ofsharing?
Because I have teeter-totteredbetween both and I have regrets.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I think the goal I set was to not tell anyone
literally anything.
So that's the goal.
That's a good goal.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I didn't think that much ahead?
No, but then I would teeter youdidn't make that goal for
yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
But I think everyone still teeters.
I would kind of push it to seewhat response I'll get, because,
as much as I'm a person who'svery sure about themselves, I
still have perfectionist,people-pleasing tendencies, and
there's nothing wrong with that,unless it starts, obviously
messing with your mental healthand your whatever.
(02:29):
But me and my fiance have keptour cards really close to
ourselves.
I would say 80% of everythinghas just been between us.
The only other times we've had,you know, ask some questions
here and there.
Based on that reaction, we'llbe like okay, so quite a few
people that you know, I alsothink you know just older
(02:51):
generations, tradition,non-tradition, like you just
don't know what people think.
Everyone has an opinion,literally everyone, even the
people you don't.
Everyone has one.
And like the worst thing youcould do is just like open up
that Pandora's box of opinions.
So, um, it's okay, I feel likeit's okay to ask here and there,
and then you learn your lessonand you're like I will never
(03:14):
fucking do that, ever again.
And then you back it up girl,and then you keep it to yourself
and your fiance, cause I'vebeen there yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I feel like we, from what I was picking up, from what
you were putting down.
I feel like we, from what I waspicking up, from what you were
putting down.
It's the people like older thanyou that you're scared to get
the opinion.
I'm struggling with the people,like of my peers, I'm like, oh,
I'm like I've had one yeah, foronce in this double episode,
(03:41):
we're not.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
that's like the thing .
We're not.
Why can't I use my words today?
The opposite, yeah yeah, yeahyeah.
So my mom opinion for everything, like there won't be one thing
at the wedding that she does notknow about.
Same with my immediate family.
Like one of my brothers willprobably be more involved than
the other brother in it, justbecause he loves this stuff and
(04:04):
that just yeah, it just he lovesit and so like, with the two of
them happy to share anything.
Same with my fiance's immediatefamily.
But, like, honestly, my mom andI are really the ones planning
it all.
I love my fiance so much he'sgoing to show up.
His one request was that we dodo the wedding cake so I share
(04:27):
it with him, but it would befine if I did so you're dealing
with the classic absent groom.
Exactly and you know what.
It's great because I'm going tomake it exactly how I want it,
with him in mind, and he's goingto be so happy and show up and
be like let's get married.
(04:48):
But what we were saying earlier, I feel like I haven't nothing
against my friends.
I haven't really shared muchabout like making decisions,
asking opinions and things forthe wedding from my friends.
I think half of it, because ifsomeone asked me this two years
ago, I wouldn't know anything.
So for friends who aren't goingthrough this, like I don't know
(05:11):
, I wouldn't know how to give aninformed opinion and also I
don't know, I kind of want it tobe a surprise and special and I
don't.
I keep it all.
I feel like when I plan things,I usually keep it to myself.
The only time where I feel theopposite about that is the
bachelorette, because people arepaying to go on it.
(05:31):
Like let's be realistic, likeyou want them to enjoy it as
well.
So I like even I I literallysent out a survey Would you
rather go here or?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
here Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I didn't do that I should have done that.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I got to stop people, but no, I think that's special.
Yeah, you're being considerateExactly Things that are
involving them and directlyimpacting them.
I'm asking their opinion,things that are about the
wedding, nothing about them.
They're going to show up andsee it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I love that.
I kind of feel like I'mactually maybe the blend of you
two a little bit.
I kind of I have it planned.
Let's get into how fuckingneurotic I am.
Really quick, I have sevenpages of TikTok notes.
Currently.
I have two collections saved onmy phone, part one, part two.
I will drop them after mywedding for the public.
I've decided that is my duty.
(06:25):
Yeah, um, to give people thesenotes Um cause I've spent hours
typing out the spark notes ofwhat's in the Tik TOK, and then
the Tik TOK is linked there forreference.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You should sell that on, I should sell that.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah, um, we'll talk Um, but so I'm giving um, every
bridesmaid one thing to kind ofbe involved in, but like that's
kind of only the one thing.
I love that and everything elseI'm kind of staying like
reserved with and I'm a chronicoversharer.
So like this is new for me.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's me, yeah, like this is.
These are waters I've neverbeen in because I share my own
life.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I even think with the wedding dress, like you want to
show everyone, but you don'twant to show anyone but you like
you just made the biggestpurchase, like you're never
buying that nice of a dressagain.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Wait, I struggle, okay, I'm, no, I'm really
struggling.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I'm actually struggling.
My fiance was literally soupset because I don't know who
it was, but I was like showingsomeone and he's like, stop
showing everyone your weddingdress.
And I'm like.
And he's like, stop showingeveryone your wedding dress.
And I'm like, but I don't care,like I'm so happy.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I love it.
It's so pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And he's like, but I mean, I haven't shown him Like I
know he's the most importantone.
I guess that's why I like kindof don't care, because I'm like
sure, social media and all thisstuff, but maybe I'm just I
don't know, I've just I want toshow you like I'm going to show
you guys.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So I'm just like, yeah, I'm going to show you guys
, because this feels likebathroom girl, of course, yeah
yeah, I feel like the rule is,if they're not there at the
wedding, they can see it,because otherwise it should be
the surprise, like walking downthe aisle.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Totally.
I feel like I've kept it tothat.
Yeah, I don't you know, butit's like the girl who I
frequent a coffee shop, likeshe's not coming.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
She's not coming, so I showed her I love that for you
, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
You have to get it out to someone To someone.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Someone's got to know .
Speaker 2 (08:12):
And like she'll see it on Instagram, but it's like
still Like I wanted to show herlike the moment I put it on.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I can't wait for her.
Not, I'd say we're 80% in.
It's going to be the dress.
I'm not showing anybody, but mymom, my future sister-in-law
she was at the appointment.
Yeah, and that's it.
Now I'm like we're cut.
I showed everybody elseeverything and now I'm done.
I learned my lesson.
I don't want anyone else to seeit.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I literally did the same thing.
Yeah, soon to be.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
That was just for the girls, but we talked about your
bachelorette, surveying thebachelorette.
You have 10 going to Columbia.
Where are you going?
How many?
What's the vibes we need totalk about?
Handling bachelorettes, budgets, feelings, sass, emotion, all
the things.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I'm nauseous saying it Same.
I invited 30, 30 people.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think I'm going to be like you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Like, and the thing is it wouldn't be right if I did
not invite any single one ofthose people.
That's why I said I had a lotof issues with the whole
bridesmaid things Back to that.
So I sent out a very long textbeing like this is a physical,
mental, financial commitment.
(09:29):
There is no pressure.
I know you all are coming tothe wedding no pressure.
I only got two no's and I waslike you guys really don't have
to do this.
I'm like I don't know how I'mgoing to plan this.
You really don't have to.
I'm like I don't know how I'mgoing to plan this, like you
really don't have to.
But decided on the Bahamas,going to do the SLS there,
(09:51):
partly because it's a pink hotel, partly because everything's
like in the hotel, easy to getto from New York, quick flight,
and I figured with that manypeople I tried finding houses
anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
There's no way.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Anywhere it doesn't exist.
Figured so with that manypeople, I tried finding houses
anywhere in the world.
Anywhere there it doesn't exist.
I I could not find a house for30 girls.
It's ridiculous and I thoughtit just like can you imagine
stocking a fridge for 30 girls?
I was like hotel you can calldown and ask for water,
literally true, so that's thecurrent vibes.
Um, I've booked it, but Ihaven't like done all the things
(10:28):
with everyone yet.
If that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, so far any wins or regrets with planning the
bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Wins or regrets?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
That's a good question, yeah it sounds like
you gave a lot of notice.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, yeah, I gave a lot of notice.
It was like almost a year.
It was really like 10 months.
I was like it's a lot and likepeople they won't really have to
travel to my wedding They'llhave to drive or take a train,
but like other than that it's alot.
And I have a lot of friends whoare teachers Like they don't
really get a lot of off days.
It's crazy.
(11:02):
So, like different things likethat, and I also, if you can't
tell, I love to plan in advance.
So I'm like, for my own mentalsanity, I need this weekend
picked and done, I'm going thatweekend and I will plan it for
that weekend.
But I'm also working with BatchBoss, if you've seen them on
Instagram.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yes, they were on the podcast.
Yay, oh, they were.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah, I didn't see them, just like the week they
launched oh my God, yeah, that'sso funny, yeah, okay, continue
Tell us plug Vatch Boss.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
We love Vatch Boss.
Friend of the podcast too.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
We love Vatch Boss.
They booked the rooms for meand we haven't gotten much
further with Rachel.
It's been so long and she wantsto plan it already.
I'm like I'm anxious, butthey're amazing.
I was like I don't know how I'mgoing to figure out like
payments and Venmos for thismany people and meals and
(11:53):
whatnot.
They handle it all and I'm sograteful and they haven't even
done it yet.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, so new to the podcast, batch Boss is an
amazing concierge service that,like, helps you plan your
bachelor or bachelorette.
They do both men and women, soRachel's using them Love that.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Amazing.
I'm using them, thrilled aboutit.
They're the best and I'm soexcited for all the fun stuff
we're going to do.
They're very detail-orientedpeople, which we love, love.
It's all about the detailsStuff spill about the
Bachelorette.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Okay, I regret.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Tips wins.
I was already talking about itpretty in advance, but I would
say I told everyone, like forsure, end of January of this
year and we went in May, and theonly reason why is because I
had already brought it up monthsbefore.
That was just more of likefinalizing everything Exactly,
and so I reached out to,honestly, honestly, I would say,
(12:47):
quite a few it was probablyaround like 20, 25 people,
thinking most people wouldn't beable to make it, because, same
I have a lot of teacher friends,um, a lot of friends that are
just like either in between jobsor like I don't know so many
life things that I was just like.
Let me just ask long, long textmessage asking all the things.
Also, no pressure, we're stillif you are on TikTok, if you're
(13:09):
on bridal TikTok and you'relistening, which we all are.
Yes, we all are.
But if you're on the side whereit's all the hating, all the,
hating on the side.
I personally think the issue isnot bridal culture.
Sure, it has gone a littlecrazy, but I don't think that's
the issue.
It's a rude issue.
You have shitty friends.
That is the rude issue, whetherbride or bridesmaid, because as
(13:32):
a bride, I made sure to ask,like, as did Rachel, if you can,
I would love, if you could, ifnot, don't come.
And if not, they said no and Isaid I love you, we'll still be
friends, we're still friends andI don't.
Nothing's going to change.
Exactly Like the only reason Icould think of to be like a
(13:52):
crazy person would be like ifthey committed and then, like
last minute, they were likesorry, yeah, that's literally
the only thing I could think of,but anyone would, bright or not
, bride, it happens.
Yeah, on a trip.
So yeah, I was veryunderstanding.
I had friends that were like Ican either go to the wedding or
I can go to this, and I saidcome to the wedding, I get it.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Sounds like you have good friends who are straight up
.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, the wedding is more important.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Exactly, straight up is the best part.
All my friends like I hope Icultivate a space where that is
allowed because there's for youto you know they didn't have to
tell me their life story.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
They didn't even have to tell me they couldn't afford
it or anything like that youcan just say no, they just.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Some were like.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Politely.
Oh my God, I had two friends,my bestest friends too.
I am a little heartbroken thatthey can't come, but they were
like.
We bought tickets to see TaylorSwift in Paris a year ago and I
went valid, it's okay, likewhat are you going to do?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I wasn't going to freak out and cry over it.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
They're going to be at the wedding, it's not like
they planned it afterwards andthey were like let's boycott the
bachelorette.
Sorry, exactly, let's go to thebachelorette.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Parents.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Taylor Swift is the real way to get back at her?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
No, I would.
Literally.
That would be the only reason.
So I feel like the root of theproblem is shitty friends.
So back to our point though, orwhat I was saying.
So for my batch yeah, leteveryone know and my family's
from Colombia.
I'm born here, but my cousin,born and raised in Colombia, and
one of the girls coming on thetrip, one of my best friends,
Laura, she's also born andraised in Cartagena Barranquilla
(15:16):
area, so she already knew thearea we were going to too.
So I was like great, two peopleI can reference.
My father also lives inColumbia, so, for like cost
purposes, I called him up and Iwas like hey, dad, me and the
girls will be there.
And he was like I'm bringingthe van, I'm driving you girls
everywhere You'll be fine, I'mso jealous, yeah, so I was like
(15:37):
great Dad's there.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I wish I had a family member in the house.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, my dad just yeah, he's been there for a few years
, so I was like might as wellhang out with my dad, who will
not be at my wedding, so I'll behappy to spend that time with
him too.
My friends are going to meethim, it would be.
I just thought it'd be a nicelittle moment.
But he was like I'll be there,don't worry guys, we got the
sickest mansion villa, oh my God.
Also, if you don't know,columbia is way cheaper.
(16:03):
Such a better price.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It's way cheaper guys , I'm going to a wedding there,
so we got to kiki about that, alot of people.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
You got to chit chat.
Cartagena is the place to beguys.
I'm not joking, it is soaffordable I'll show you.
But I'm staying in.
It's called Casa de Iglesia, soit's literally this.
It just fits the whole vibe ofmy wedding.
I love thinking about it, butit's like an old school,
catholic looking Spanish villaslash church vibe.
(16:30):
It's stunning.
So, anyway, I showed all myfriends.
They were all like immediately,yes, like the ones who could go
were like, absolutely, for howmuch we're going?
And it comes with breakfastincluded.
It came with private security.
I told them about my dad.
They were like, great, he'll bea part of this.
Like, we got him.
It is walking distance fromeverything.
Damn, because, guys, that issuch a luxury.
(16:52):
I went to Tulum for my bestiesbatch, love her, but the walking
killed us.
Like there was quite a, there'squite a lot of walking, I get
it.
I was like, guys, we areliterally two feet from
everything, like it is justright there at the door.
We just got to go to therestaurants or this.
Oh, I'm so jealous.
All the like luxury boat tourstuff.
I knew I wanted to do somethingfun and that's going to be my
(17:13):
gift to my friends for comingand committing to come to my
wedding and a bachelorette.
I was like I will cover thisboat day on Saturday Not that
like it was anything crazy,because Columbia has amazing
prices, so I was like, but stillit's the thought and like the
effort.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's very sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I was like Like all the goodies.
Thankfully I'm working withsome amazing brands too.
Like got some new things fromlike Vacation.
You know all their sunblockstuff.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That's on my list for that.
Oh my God, do it.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
The cutest little things and like I worked with a
lot of latino small businessestoo for my stuff, because I feel
like I wanted to amplify someof that.
So, yeah, goodies for all myfriends, yeah, and then, um, the
saturday will be like our boatday.
But, yeah, everyone seems superfreaking excited and they're
all like when are we ever goingto go to columbia?
Like you know, it's a girl'strip.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
With somebody who knows it.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
With someone who knows it.
Yeah, With a family memberwho's driving you everywhere.
You know you don't have toworry about all this stuff Not
have to plan a thing.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Exactly Just show up and have fun.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
And food's like already or Ali's.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
So the big takeaway is, I'm hearing is giving lots
of notice, yeah, throwing inlike maybe a little bit of a
thank you into it and reallyjust like you already had it so
figured out.
You had it so figured out viaBatch Boss Like this is where
we'll stay Presenting it, withpeople being like hey, not like
On.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Canva, are you free?
I?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
did it on Canva.
You want to pull it togetherfor me?
This is you.
You know like, don't push it onyour friends to plan it
completely.
It sounds like we're all have alittle bit of like we like to
plan.
We're in control it's very clear, all three of us are very in
control it's but thepresentation matters, like how
you pose it to your friends,like, please drop a lot of money
on me to go do this thing.
Yes, how you present that tothem is gonna matter, and it has
(19:03):
your name on it and like we'realso in the social media space.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So I feel like it's really hard to let go of that.
Like I can't, I literally can't.
I'm like my name is everywhereand I'm the least social media
out of this group and I'm likenope, no, yeah, I needed to be
in control.
I feel a lot better when I'm incontrol.
I think my cousin she justhandled the translation because
we needed WhatsApp and stuff andI was like I have it.
But I was like girl, can youjust do it?
And she was like I'll do it.
We love that for her.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
So did you help do the other stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I guess, like you found the Airbnb.
No, quite literally everythingelse has been me.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
That's going to be me .
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, yep, exactly I do it all.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
That's literally going to do all of that and I
don't know.
I would feel guilty Again.
The people-pleasing has got tostop.
I would feel guilty puttingthat on a friend, because it's a
lot to ask a friend to plan atrip for this many girls and
make it exactly how you want itand drop a lot of money and deal
(20:01):
with all the personalities andlike figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Tailor your expectations because I agree.
Like, if that, if you want tobe the friend to do that, that's
totally cool.
Like that's a way to do this.
But tailor your expectationsLike they can't read your mind,
they don't live in their brain,they're working a job too Like
so we kind of like pick yourpoison here.
Yeah, pick your poison aboutwhich way you're going to want
(20:26):
this.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I would, with the opinions For sure help, yeah,
with the opinions that we weretalking about earlier.
I would say there, uh, myfiance has an older cousin and I
remember she asked me about mybatch.
A week ago I saw her and shewas truthfully like baffled
because she goes wait, you'remade of honor, didn't plan the
whole thing and pay for it all,and that's where, but not in a
like bad way like she was.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
That was her experience, right, and I was
like wait people like actuallydo that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
And she was like no, that is the way it's supposed to
be.
I was shook, I went no way.
In hell, that's my cousin.
I would never ask that of her,and if you're doing it, don't
it's okay if that's your.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, but if you do it Relationship, it's a
different situation, exactly Inthe situation I'm dreaming of
that's not working.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You know, this is the one time in my life I was like
it's so unfortunate I don't havea sister, because I'm the one
person.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Because theoretically I would be like If I had a
sister.
I'm like I know how much youmake you better.
Sorry, sister, you're like youcan do it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
But I don't.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So we're stuck doing it ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
That is the one person.
I personally would be like gofor it.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I'll see you there no shame.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
See you there.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, I want to turn the conversation back to wedding
TikTok.
I don't know if you guys haveseen this wedding TikTok.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Sounds.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I don't know if you guys have seen this wedding
TikTok Sounds like it's kind ofclose to shitting on the bride.
On Bachelorette's, though, haveyou seen?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
the wedding guilt.
Tiktok, that's on me.
Yeah, it will be like.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Give a bit more info.
Yeah, sure, so it will be.
Usually it's a slide justsetting the stage.
Here they're talking aboutsomething they feel guilty about
having in their wedding.
Like I spent X amount on photoand you know, but like, or this
much on wedding.
Like, how are you navigatingany guilt or drama, negativity,
(22:16):
any things that you were?
Like I don't care how expensiveit is, I'm balling out on it
because it's important to me.
Minus photo and video, weballed out that it was important
.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Important memories.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
I'm not a flower girly, that's probably where I'm
going to juxtapose it.
So I want to hear your guys'.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Okay, the guilt.
So not only Like, let's getinto it.
Yeah, okay, guys, not only am Ia 2024 bride, but I'm also like
the eldest daughter in a Latinafamily trope.
So a lot of guilt.
Guilt is my middle name.
I am consistently filled withguilt, especially being a first
(22:50):
gen girl too.
So, yeah, all these titles I'llkeep going, but no, I think for
our wedding, kind of like howyou said, the beauty about
tradition sure is like there'sso much to it, right, it's like
history and all these thingswith your family.
But I also think the beauty ofgoing non-traditional or
traditional to you it's like youget a pick.
(23:11):
You're like I'm not that, soI'm not going to do that, and I
feel like for us, that was myvenue.
That was like one of the firstthings I can remember being like
, okay, I kind of notnecessarily ball out, but I was
like my venue, that I finallydecided the place.
I walked in and was like, oh, Ican get married, because before
the other venues I was like Idon't see myself getting married
.
We were this close to a lobby.
(23:32):
Because I was like it's pretty,but it ain't it.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Why am I spending so much money?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
on it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Literally I was just like okay, I don't get that
feeling that people get you knowkind of like with your dresses.
I didn't get that.
Just once again, I'm throwingit off.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
That's funny because I did for that.
I visited one venue.
That was it.
We'll go there, we're goingthere.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Next it was literally my last one.
And yeah, I got that feeling.
But the price was obviously itwas out of what we were
originally looking for.
But I was like this place is sobeautiful that I will have to
do the bare minimum foreverything else, because it's so
beautiful, because a lot ofplaces you have to kind of make
beautiful with the flowers, withthe chargers, with the
(24:14):
everything my dream guys like onmy Pinterest board was like I
wanted to give, like this is ourestate and we're just having a
backyard wedding.
That was the vibe I wanted.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
But it's still an estate.
Vibe, I was about to say I'veseen some photos on your story,
like it looks great, but I thinkthat's what I wanted to give
myself.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
So the guilt of that is because I have such like.
I'm such a creative person andwhen I had this vision and I
found the place and I felt Ireally fell in love with my
venue, probably more than mywedding dress.
I just loved it so much.
It felt like the thing youdream about, like I've got that
feeling for my venue.
Crazy, but it just feels out ofthis world.
It's only 30 minutes here, it'slike in Sierra Madre.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Wait, that's not crazy.
That's not crazy.
Don't say that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
But I never thought I would get to this point.
So, honestly, my whole processhas been very guilt trippy but I
just try to fight it becauseI'm like I am deserving of this,
regardless of the financialaspect of it.
But like within a realisticrealm, um, me and my fiance are
(25:21):
give this is a gift to ourselves.
Essentially, Like it is fully Iwould say, 90% on us.
Like we had some help here andthere, but it was definitely not
what most people get.
Um, and so, yeah, I think, whenwe sat down and we're like,
okay, are we going to do this?
Like I still feel the guilt butI keep telling myself like this
is kind of a gift to you,Stephanie.
(25:42):
I've never celebrated things inmy life, so I didn't have a
quinceañera or a sweet 16 likemost people do, Didn't celebrate
my college graduation.
It was kind of just expected,Like we had a little thing, but
it wasn't like good, Like that'show it should be you want to be
a child.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, you graduate in college.
Yeah, as you should, or elseyou'll be in history.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
And I'm the only girl and the middle child, so I'm
just like forgotten right at alltimes.
And so for this wedding, like Ithink I've definitely been on
that side of TikTok I do cry alot and there's a lot of moments
where I'm like, what are wedoing?
We love the wedding cry, yeah,but I think like at the end of
the day it is cheesy but it's sotrue, like I'm so excited for
(26:23):
that day because I know, likeour hard work that we put
towards it.
Oh my God, yeah, like I'm likethis was blood, sweat and tears.
But it was also like, also likethank you to my fiance for being
like you've always been putsecond or last.
And he was like this is yourtime to shine, babe, like we're
doing it.
Cause I was like I'm fine withthe low pain, I'm fine with
being invisible, I'm fine withnot doing anything.
(26:44):
And he was like hell, no,you're doing it.
So, anyway, but still very muchskilled, like I just try to not
ask anyone any questions or askfor their opinions because you
like my mom with the cake.
I'll never forget it.
Also, like I said, my mom nevergot married guys Like she has
no idea, she just is going basedoff of like telenovelas or
(27:05):
something, but she was.
I was like I want like a littlecake, simple, small cutie, just
for us.
And she's like you're not doinga 10-tier classic.
I go girl, girl, show me yours,show me the one you got.
And then maybe I'll think andshe was like well, I didn't get
married.
I'm like exactly so, we're notgonna do that, we're gonna do
(27:26):
the BB one.
I love you so much, but she'slike, but you know so, and so
did I'm like, girl, it's a cakeyou gotta let it go and now I
was like looking at her cake andI'm like, am I doing something?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I feel like no one gives a shit about the cake.
Who cares?
No one gives a shit.
And I'm so excited.
I think I was already investedin your wedding through my
eyeballs on the cell phonescreen.
You're so sweet.
Now I'm doubly invested, thatis.
I'm just, I'm beyond with yourfiancé.
That is so sweet and I'm justso happy for you and are we
(27:57):
going to cry?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
No, I'm not going to cry.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I don't think I've ever cried on the podcast Okay
good, we're not going to saytoday.
I'm sure he's like maybe I'vecried because the audio has
gotten deleted.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You know what?
I would cry over that too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Rachel, give us your wedding guilt, icks or any of
the navigating drama, any of thethings.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yes, okay, I would say I haven't felt that way
about anything until I found mywedding dress, because when I
was trying to rationalize it inmy head, I was like I mean, this
is the dress.
There's no other dress that Ilike, not that I like that.
I mean this is the dress.
There's no other dress that Ilike, like, not that, I like
that, I love, like that, I feelthis way in, but it's so much
(28:43):
money to wear it once.
For how many hours?
Four, five, six, and then I'llprobably change into like a
short little dress to dance,like what, and then it just sits
in a box until, hopefully, Ihave a daughter and she wants to
see it, and then it goes backinto the box.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
And then you're like so I don't really like that or
she might hate it Right.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I am actually wearing my mom's dress to our rehearsal
dinner, but I'm changing it alittle, but.
I'm like there we go.
That is the one thing I havefelt guilty about, because I
cannot wrap my mind around it.
But I'm like there we go.
That is the one thing I havefelt guilty about, because I
cannot wrap my mind around it,but I guess I did not feel
guilty enough not to do it.
Yeah, you still got it.
I got the dress Because I gotthe dress.
But that is the one thing thatI was like holy shit, like this
(29:32):
makes no sense.
Yeah, like the venue, that's avalid one.
You're there the whole time.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Like yeah, like, like the venue.
You're there the whole time.
Like you need that, like youneed the venue.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, the venue, everyone's in it.
You need the food, you needthat.
People gotta eat.
Yeah right, I'm a flower girly,so, like that's.
And going back to before, whereyou were saying how, like,
you're not as much of a flowergirl so if you spent it, this in
versus that, I'm kind of facingthe issue where it's all
seeming to be important, valid,valid.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I've yet to run into that one.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, like, yeah.
So I've got to work on that,but I actually posted something
on my not my TikTok, myInstagram.
I reposted it.
I have to get the exact same,but it was like I'm a simple
bride, like a bride who justwants it Everything.
Yeah, that feels right.
That's funny, but yes.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
If you had to coin yourself guilt only with the
dress I'm.
I'm giving guilt into the photobecause I think it's ridiculous
.
But again, coming fromproduction, acting social media,
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
And then I'm like are your memories?
I can't, I'm taking away yourguilt.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, I have a little bit of guilt because it was
ridiculous and I super did notexpect it to be as expensive as
it was compared to otherpeople's.
I'm walking away with a steal,but I still gasped.
Oh she gasped.
I mean all of the vendors arecrazy, they're crazy.
I'm getting an 8mm film.
It's all crazy.
What am I going to do?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm getting Super 8 as well.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Oh, you are, you're getting Super 8?
Yep.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
No and I.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah, I would say, because yours was dress right
and yours was your photo video.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
The price of video and photo.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I honestly would is like I feel like you, I would
say.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
both of you come from families who do weddings often,
yes, very much so Liketruthfully, the only Like yeah,
my brother's getting marriednext week.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
He's exactly Like the only other weddings I've been
to that I would say were likesimilar would be my fiance's
sister.
He comes from a big likeSouthern, traditional Christian,
like family and weddings arebig deals, yeah, but for my side
this is like, and the pressureis there because my cousins, you
know, my aunts, they're like,they're all making an effort to
come, because they're like wenever do this.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, and they want to stay yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
They're like you got a villa for what?
What Huh?
Oh, you're getting married likethis.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So I think in general , but that's important to
acknowledge, but that'simportant to acknowledge like,
yes, like I'm your child, youboth still have siblings.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I'm an only child.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
They're like ball out , roll out, you know whatever,
like we got one kid, no, butthis is our time, but this is
very real, like expectations arevery different because of how
you grew up, and literallyeveryone's different, and that's
why you know I wanted to makethis.
A round table is really getlike a little bit of I love all
the perspectives.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
it's been so I know to just hear everyone's like
different perspective.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I agree that being said, I got it Cause, just cause
.
I feel like we got to touch onhow you felt a certain way about
your venue.
You felt a certain way aboutyour venue and I was kind of
like maybe I'm just like tooneurotic and when I'm at peace
means we're good.
I don't have these like I had avenue break my heart too, so I
had a venue.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
You had a low, not a high.
I had a deep, deep low and Iwas like you want how much?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Literally, go fuck yourself Same thing Just
opposite feeling, oppositefeeling Anyway.
So I want to know the feelingof the venue real quick.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I've said it 10,000 times my brother's getting
married next week.
So I was very lucky.
My mom, kind of, was involvedin planning their wedding as
well.
So she went on a lot of tourswith them in the area where we
grew up with.
Our fiances grew up nearby aswell, so like she knew what was
happening and she went to oneplace with them and when they
(33:12):
were there they were like oh,rachel should get married here,
like not us.
And I was like and whatever?
For a second I thought I wasgoing to get married here, not
us.
I was like whatever.
For a second I thought I wasgoing to get married in Florida.
Ended up not happening.
Then my mom and I went one dayand we were like, yep, this is
it, we're going to get marriedhere.
It's like 50 minutes from myhouse.
(33:34):
My fiance is middle of nowhere.
Everyone can sleep there.
It's like an old castle mansionaesthetic that they redid
recently, like they just builtDo you?
Why?
Would you know a Philly?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
venue.
Oh, it's a Philly venue.
I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Oh, it's not, because I looked at that You're like
girl.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I almost got that one , that one's beautiful.
Taylor Swift filming a musicvideo there.
I know it's exactly what I wasthinking of that continue.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Um, I know I did look but I was like but it's in new
york.
I don't have family, like noone lives in new york, like that
makes no sense, and I thinkthat the inside wasn't I don't
know.
But so, yeah, I saw it.
I was like cool, let's do it.
But so, yeah, I saw what.
I was like cool, let's do it.
And did you cry.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
It was chill.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
It was chill.
It was chill.
We were just like I'm going toget married here, I love that I
was like.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
this is it.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
We don't need to look again.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Oh, that's sweet.
And you, when you found it, youobviously had this huge like
this, is it?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I did, yeah, which is I feel like I'm more like you,
Like sometimes I'm so like go,go, go, go go, Let me get this
shit done.
Like I don't have time toprocess emotion.
So then I'm like I look verycold and stale, and then when
I'm alone, like by myself, I'mjust like, and then, but it's
(34:59):
like after everything's likegood.
Yeah, but I would say, yeah, Iwas so on the like elope train
and we had just finished ourengagement party.
We had it last year in February, I believe, and then we started
looking at venues like rightafter.
But it was a lot of pressurefrom my fiance's parents because
they were kind of like is thatgoing to happen, is it not?
Speaker 3 (35:09):
And on my side like are you not getting married?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, I was just like , well, we just give us a second
.
We just got engaged, so we werekind of taking our time and
then we saw two and I was likethey're great, they're fine, um,
and then, yeah, I was with myfiance when we went to go look
for it.
I found it like it was.
It's not an actual like weddingvenue, um, so, fun fact and a
good hack for my brides to bees,don't always search up
(35:33):
something that is a weddingvenue.
Mine is actually a school thatso happens to do weddings on the
weekends, or I guess, likeGreystone Mansion, could be one
of those considered it's like ahistoric landmark, but not
necessarily.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
There's a bunch of libraries you can get married at
, exactly.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
They turn out to be the prettiest school.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
No, it literally is.
It's used on I would have neverknown it was a school.
It's literally used on set forso many things.
I actually saw it on theMorning Show.
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
It's.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Oh wow, if you guys watch the Morning Show, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Steve Carell's Italian villa Is the Shut up.
No way, that's where you'regetting married.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yes, and you know, the price was me thinking they
went to Italy to film thatthough.
Literally, and I was like thisisn't Sierra Madre and I, I
fricking booked it Cause youcan't just book it Like homegirl
does not answer her phone inorder to contact them.
It's like, strategically,through email, you got to find
like the right email and so Ijust so happened to do it, so
(36:33):
much so that people werecommenting on Tik TOK, going how
the hell did you even get anappointment?
I haven't even been able to getan answer back.
I was like oh wow.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I really did something.
Yeah, I was like oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
So yeah, when I walk and you roll in, you don't even
hear the outside neighborhood.
It's in a neighborhood andthat's where my fiance said the
whole thing he goes we need toget married here.
You need to have this moment.
I want to have this moment withyou.
I want to have this moment withyou.
I want to have my moment too.
And when you just see it, wewere like that's our ceremony
area.
I cried and he is an emotionalguy, but he looked at me, guy,
(37:07):
and he was like, oh my gosh,this is it we're doing.
We're having a wedding.
That was, like I would say,probably the most special moment
we've had so far, cause I waslike it's just, the place was
overwhelming's so pretty.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah, we looked at a lot of venues in my thing and my
oh, it took us.
I remember talking about thatwith you.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
I had texted both of or dm both of you being like
what fucking venues are you guyslooking?
Speaker 3 (37:31):
at because I was.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I was looking at new york at this point that's how
desperate which I do have familywho lives on the east coast.
You're, he would have been likemarley you've never lived in
New York, but like okay, no, Iwas going to do the same.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I thought the Plaza Hotel, like I was going straight
up like Bride Wars.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I really went up and down with venues.
I had one break my heart.
I thought it was in, I couldsee it, I could vision it and
the like I don't.
I was looking at a lot ofhotels, hotels like a lot of
them package if they're biggerhotels like Hilton's or whatnot
that hot name brand, they'llpackage it.
So it's like you get thisceremony site with this cocktail
hour and then this ballroom,and you can't a lot of them.
(38:09):
You can't mix and match and ifyou do, you have to basically
buy them out.
And we saw this ballroom atthis one hotel and I'd seen
influencers and people getmarried there.
Which one?
It's?
The Waldorf Astoria Laguna.
Yeah, I know what you're tryingto tell me that ballroom is the
ugliest thing I have everfucking seen.
Every luxury, I don't even care.
(38:30):
Come at me, you were rude to me.
I mean they were and they were.
But like every luxury likewedding Is there, is there.
Every luxury like wedding isthere.
I put is there.
They completely recarpet itlike they bring in carpet it's
so ugly I know someone doingthat like yeah, but they make it
into a whole new room, the, butto have this shit ballroom and
(38:53):
the price.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I was like that's my entire yeah, budget, yeah yeah,
yeah, that's all of it, just forthe carpet, I'm coming naked
Just for the carpet.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm coming naked for that carpet.
So we had to walk away from it.
But yeah, so it did take me aroller coaster, but when I did
find the venue, I will say Icouldn't shut up about it.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I was like I can't shut up about it.
I love that for mean anything.
But the weirdest part is I'm anemotional girly.
I keep thinking I'm going tocry.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
I don't cry.
I don't know.
I'm a sad girl, but there'stimes where I get emotional.
Maybe not.
I think you are.
I think you're lying to us,okay, all right.
Well, wait till you get thosevoice memos at 3 am, when I'm
having a bride breakdown and Ican only talk to you two.
We're like, let's hear it,we'll save it for then.
All right, I want to leave on anote of giving our brides to be
, or brides who are stressingout, planning Like if you were
to start the whole processdifferent, steph.
You are so close to the finishline.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Rachel and I are eking in with these engagements.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
What would you maybe do differently?
Or, you know, something youwish you had done earlier, just
like for the girlies gettingstarted.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Okay.
So I think I would have saved.
If you know for sure you wantto have a wedding and if you're
in the position I can only speakfor myself If you're in the
position of where it's just youand your fiance paying for it,
or some situation close enoughto that, I would have said I
would save.
I wouldn't do this whole thingagain and be like, oh my God, I
(40:19):
regret everything.
No, I'm happy with it.
I just wish, with the firstyear, just put some money aside,
just a little thing.
I've also picked up side gigsin order to cover things.
I would say, just start savinga little bit, if you know it's
all on you and your partner.
And maybe I don't know, thisone's tough because I feel like
(40:41):
I've had my Pinterest boardready since I was like, since it
came out, you know like I'vehad my dream one.
But like also, don't give up onwhat you want unless it's
something out of your control,like that carpet, like girl that
had nothing, you know.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
What was I going to do?
Yeah, but I think for I lovethat.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Don't give up on what you want just because people
are like why would you spendthat much on that dress, why
would you spend that much onwhatever?
At the end of the day, it'syour money and people buy stupid
shit every day for no reason.
So, like, if you want to spendit on your wedding, do it.
I would just really like commitand hone into that.
(41:20):
Sometimes I felt like I wasbeing swayed to fit someone
else's expectations, but I'm sohappy that in two months,
everything that is going to beat my wedding is exactly what I
wanted and I didn't budge or,like you know, sway because of X
, y and Z.
Like my venue, my dream place.
I couldn't get married in Como,I found it in Sierra Madre.
Like you know what I mean, Ididn't budge, I budged the
freaking, you know country.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
But I was like it's fine, that's okay.
Yeah, I was like you weregetting the same aesthetic, same
vibe Same vibe, it was Italy,literally.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Exactly.
So I feel like that I wouldprobably just save a and like,
just commit to it.
If you're having the wedding,just fully commit.
Everyone's going to tell youit's a stupid idea.
But, girl, I think having kidsright now is kind of dumb.
So so, like you know, I'd belike in this economy.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
I'm just going to our wedding.
We can cut that great.
I respect it.
Love kids, we love kids, butlike not everything, but not
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm not having them so and I'm not planning on
buying a house in LA Likethere's no way right now, Pick
and choose, so I'm like I'lljust throw a party.
Wedding venue, child yeahexactly.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
And, rachel, what about you?
I'd say, if you are in themental mind space before, like
you know, you're maybe going toget engaged, whatever it is, and
you're okay doing this.
I didn't do this, and I wish Idid.
Start pinning on Pinterest,start thinking about what you
(42:51):
might want, start, like, justthinking about it in general.
I did not think about it onebit and then I was like, oh my
goodness, I need to think aboutthis and I don't know what I
want, and you would think I wasthe person who had it planned
out my entire life.
So I don't know.
Just give yourself a leg up inthat way so that you're not like
whoa, let me figure it out.
That being said, though, do iton your own timeline, like we
(43:16):
all are having longerengagements.
If someone might want to getmarried in six months, great, do
whatever works best for you.
I didn't book my venue untilmonths after I got engaged, like
I couldn't think about it, sothat would be my advice in that
regard.
I'd also say do whatever makesyou and your fiance happy.
(43:39):
Regarding the actual proposaland engagement, if you're in a
situation where you don't needto tell anyone right away, of
course, tell your parents, yoursiblings, whatever.
Keep it to yourself for alittle, like it's such a nice
little bubble.
We didn't tell.
I didn't tell any of my friendsfor 24 hours.
They were like texting me, likehey, what's up, how's it going,
(44:00):
and I was like I can't answer.
But it was so nice because it'sso sweet.
Everyone's calling you andtexting you.
Whatever you want to be like inthe moment, in that moment,
literally, you don't want to beon your phone, as nice and
amazing as that is.
Later on, I think that was oneof the best things that we did
not tell a soul.
I mean, granted, no one waswith us, so it was easy to do.
(44:24):
They were all in a differentcountry.
If your fiance planned asurprise engagement party for
you after, you can't do that,but I would say, if you can,
it's really magical.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I love that you said that, because I haven't been
able to relate with someone withthat.
You know, I feel like it's beenso.
That's exactly how I feel aboutthe engagement part.
It was perfect.
Also, you have like the rest ofyour trip to enjoy.
So, like, imagine like I was,like I don't want to be texting
people.
Yeah, I'm still have 10 days.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
I also keep the good vibes going.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I'm on vacation Literally.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, not only will you have engagement and in your
guys' both chances vacation,then you get to tell everybody
and then you get a whole newwave over again.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I'm all about milking this for all it's worth,
literally.
I remember hiding photos of myring because people were DMing
me going.
They were like there's no way,it hasn't happened yet and I was
like I'm not telling anyone.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Good for you, but I love that for you.
You held on longer than I did.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I put emoji.
Yeah, I didn't hang on at all,no, but I People showed up after
at the engagement party?
Yeah, no, they were there.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Well, I was going to say we were abroad.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
You can't always it depends on the situation.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
If you're on vacation and you're not with anyone,
then do it.
It was a little secret likebetween us.
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Yeah, yes, exactly you just get to be in this bliss
of like no one literally knowsbesides mom, dad and whoever,
but I feel like that would.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
yeah, that is the best advice if you're having
this, or the people at the hoteloh my gosh and the concierge is
so happy.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
And they're like, they're engaged, they just got
engaged, we got engaged at ourhotel, so they were fully like
immersed.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It's the same thing with the wedding dress.
Tell the strangers.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Yeah, well, that's so funny because that's kind of
going to be my takeaway or thetip I was going to say is like I
kind of got like and I don'treally regret it because my
people really did come and bewhat I needed them to be.
But there was a moment I likekind of overshared and I tried
on dresses a little bit earlier.
If your mom isn't leaving for atwo month cruise, maybe I don't
recommend trying them on thatearly, because it kind of like
(46:27):
creates a weird like do I?
do I pull or do I not?
This would be my takeaway.
It's okay to change therelationship about what you're
going to share with your weddingor what you're not Like.
At first I was super openEverybody's involved.
Now I'm a little bit moreclosed.
It's totally okay to change howyou're doing it and maybe I'll
have a breakthrough moment andbe like I need everyone involved
(46:49):
again.
So I would just say that, andthen also like the pressure
isn't the right word, but maybeit's like the yeah, expectations
overseeing, like hear it, butlike learn how to hear it.
And then like be like, okay, inthis room I can hear that, and
when I go to the bathroom it'sgone and if you want it back,
(47:10):
you can open it back up.
That would be my takeaway.
I mean, I still got a lot to go.
I'm actually the furthestbehind.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
So, oh my gosh, not that far behind have got a lot
to go.
I'm actually the furthestbehind, oh my gosh.
Not that far behind have zeroexpectations.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Well, guys, I freaking love you both.
This was exactly my dreams forthis podcast and more Yay.
Thank you both so much forbeing here and thank you, guys,
so much for listening to ourlittle bridal era round table.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Thank you for having me for us.
This was so fun.
We get to yap about the thingswe've been wanting to yap about.
I know I've been dying to talkabout this stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
I was like I was waiting to say it all to someone
.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, I've been waiting, and I just feel bad for
everybody who can't hear whatwe're going to talk about off
mic.
So peace out, bitches.
Thank you so much for listeningto Confessions of a Wannabe it
Girl.
Don't forget to rate andsubscribe to the show.
As always, we'll see you nextTuesday.
Hi guys and welcome back to Confessions of a Wannabe
it Girl, our bridal episodes.
I'm so excited to have mygirlies, steph and Rachel, back
for our second part of thisseries about all things wedding.
We are diving into the juicysecrets of your wedding, of who
you include in the planning,maybe who you don't.
All the good things we touch onpicking venues, how to know
(00:22):
when it was the right venue.
We even touch on picking venueshow to know when it was the
right venue.
We even touch on planning yourbatch.
And, of course, something I'mloving to see be talked about is
, like bridesmaids transparency,bachelorette transparency.
You know we're really diving into a little bit of what we
would say is some TikTok dramaabout the wedding industry and
(00:43):
how bridal era has gotten out ofcontrol.
And, of course, we talk alittle bit about our wedding
guilt and how you know being ina wedding or being a bride, we
see this huge controversy onTikTok and it really comes down
to just be a good freakingfriend.
So I am so excited to keepchit-chatting and gossiping
(01:04):
about all things wedding.
Welcome to Confessions of aWannabe it Girl.
I'm your host, marley Fregging,and I'm here to help you filter
out all the bullshit and becomethe next it Girl.
This podcast explores thereality of what it really takes
to make it out there.
As it turns out, it is way lessInstagrammable than I thought
(01:24):
it was going to be.
I'm still very much a work inprogress, but there's simply
nothing else I'd rather be doingthan chasing my dreams.
So let's learn from my mistakesand work together to achieve
our dreams with more confidence,clarity and direction.
Let's get after it.
We're back and we're talkingabout planning our weddings.
So, in the planning process,are you guys keeping this shit
(01:47):
very close to your heart, notsharing with anybody, or are you
, like, open to the committee ofsharing?
Because I have teeter-totteredbetween both and I have regrets.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I think the goal I set was to not tell anyone
literally anything.
So that's the goal.
That's a good goal.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I didn't think that much ahead?
No, but then I would teeter youdidn't make that goal for
yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
But I think everyone still teeters.
I would kind of push it to seewhat response I'll get, because,
as much as I'm a person who'svery sure about themselves, I
still have perfectionist,people-pleasing tendencies, and
there's nothing wrong with that,unless it starts, obviously
messing with your mental healthand your whatever.
(02:29):
But me and my fiance have keptour cards really close to
ourselves.
I would say 80% of everythinghas just been between us.
The only other times we've had,you know, ask some questions
here and there.
Based on that reaction, we'llbe like okay, so quite a few
people that you know, I alsothink you know just older
(02:51):
generations, tradition,non-tradition, like you just
don't know what people think.
Everyone has an opinion,literally everyone, even the
people you don't.
Everyone has one.
And like the worst thing youcould do is just like open up
that Pandora's box of opinions.
So, um, it's okay, I feel likeit's okay to ask here and there,
and then you learn your lessonand you're like I will never
(03:14):
fucking do that, ever again.
And then you back it up girl,and then you keep it to yourself
and your fiance, cause I'vebeen there yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I feel like we, from what I was picking up, from what
you were putting down.
I feel like we, from what I waspicking up, from what you were
putting down.
It's the people like older thanyou that you're scared to get
the opinion.
I'm struggling with the people,like of my peers, I'm like, oh,
I'm like I've had one yeah, foronce in this double episode,
(03:41):
we're not.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
that's like the thing .
We're not.
Why can't I use my words today?
The opposite, yeah yeah, yeahyeah.
So my mom opinion for everything, like there won't be one thing
at the wedding that she does notknow about.
Same with my immediate family.
Like one of my brothers willprobably be more involved than
the other brother in it, justbecause he loves this stuff and
(04:04):
that just yeah, it just he lovesit and so like, with the two of
them happy to share anything.
Same with my fiance's immediatefamily.
But, like, honestly, my mom andI are really the ones planning
it all.
I love my fiance so much he'sgoing to show up.
His one request was that we dodo the wedding cake so I share
(04:27):
it with him, but it would befine if I did so you're dealing
with the classic absent groom.
Exactly and you know what.
It's great because I'm going tomake it exactly how I want it,
with him in mind, and he's goingto be so happy and show up and
be like let's get married.
(04:48):
But what we were saying earlier, I feel like I haven't nothing
against my friends.
I haven't really shared muchabout like making decisions,
asking opinions and things forthe wedding from my friends.
I think half of it, because ifsomeone asked me this two years
ago, I wouldn't know anything.
So for friends who aren't goingthrough this, like I don't know
(05:11):
, I wouldn't know how to give aninformed opinion and also I
don't know, I kind of want it tobe a surprise and special and I
don't.
I keep it all.
I feel like when I plan things,I usually keep it to myself.
The only time where I feel theopposite about that is the
bachelorette, because people arepaying to go on it.
(05:31):
Like let's be realistic, likeyou want them to enjoy it as
well.
So I like even I I literallysent out a survey Would you
rather go here or?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
here Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I didn't do that I should have done that.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I got to stop people, but no, I think that's special.
Yeah, you're being considerateExactly Things that are
involving them and directlyimpacting them.
I'm asking their opinion,things that are about the
wedding, nothing about them.
They're going to show up andsee it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I love that.
I kind of feel like I'mactually maybe the blend of you
two a little bit.
I kind of I have it planned.
Let's get into how fuckingneurotic I am.
Really quick, I have sevenpages of TikTok notes.
Currently.
I have two collections saved onmy phone, part one, part two.
I will drop them after mywedding for the public.
I've decided that is my duty.
(06:25):
Yeah, um, to give people thesenotes Um cause I've spent hours
typing out the spark notes ofwhat's in the Tik TOK, and then
the Tik TOK is linked there forreference.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You should sell that on, I should sell that.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah, um, we'll talk Um, but so I'm giving um, every
bridesmaid one thing to kind ofbe involved in, but like that's
kind of only the one thing.
I love that and everything elseI'm kind of staying like
reserved with and I'm a chronicoversharer.
So like this is new for me.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's me, yeah, like this is.
These are waters I've neverbeen in because I share my own
life.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I even think with the wedding dress, like you want to
show everyone, but you don'twant to show anyone but you like
you just made the biggestpurchase, like you're never
buying that nice of a dressagain.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Wait, I struggle, okay, I'm, no, I'm really
struggling.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I'm actually struggling.
My fiance was literally soupset because I don't know who
it was, but I was like showingsomeone and he's like, stop
showing everyone your weddingdress.
And I'm like.
And he's like, stop showingeveryone your wedding dress.
And I'm like, but I don't care,like I'm so happy.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I love it.
It's so pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And he's like, but I mean, I haven't shown him Like I
know he's the most importantone.
I guess that's why I like kindof don't care, because I'm like
sure, social media and all thisstuff, but maybe I'm just I
don't know, I've just I want toshow you like I'm going to show
you guys.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So I'm just like, yeah, I'm going to show you guys
, because this feels likebathroom girl, of course, yeah
yeah, I feel like the rule is,if they're not there at the
wedding, they can see it,because otherwise it should be
the surprise, like walking downthe aisle.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Totally.
I feel like I've kept it tothat.
Yeah, I don't you know, butit's like the girl who I
frequent a coffee shop, likeshe's not coming.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
She's not coming, so I showed her I love that for you
, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
You have to get it out to someone To someone.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Someone's got to know .
Speaker 2 (08:12):
And like she'll see it on Instagram, but it's like
still Like I wanted to show herlike the moment I put it on.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I can't wait for her.
Not, I'd say we're 80% in.
It's going to be the dress.
I'm not showing anybody, but mymom, my future sister-in-law
she was at the appointment.
Yeah, and that's it.
Now I'm like we're cut.
I showed everybody elseeverything and now I'm done.
I learned my lesson.
I don't want anyone else to seeit.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I literally did the same thing.
Yeah, soon to be.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
That was just for the girls, but we talked about your
bachelorette, surveying thebachelorette.
You have 10 going to Columbia.
Where are you going?
How many?
What's the vibes we need totalk about?
Handling bachelorettes, budgets, feelings, sass, emotion, all
the things.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I'm nauseous saying it Same.
I invited 30, 30 people.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think I'm going to be like you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Like, and the thing is it wouldn't be right if I did
not invite any single one ofthose people.
That's why I said I had a lotof issues with the whole
bridesmaid things Back to that.
So I sent out a very long textbeing like this is a physical,
mental, financial commitment.
(09:29):
There is no pressure.
I know you all are coming tothe wedding no pressure.
I only got two no's and I waslike you guys really don't have
to do this.
I'm like I don't know how I'mgoing to plan this.
You really don't have to.
I'm like I don't know how I'mgoing to plan this, like you
really don't have to.
But decided on the Bahamas,going to do the SLS there,
(09:51):
partly because it's a pink hotel, partly because everything's
like in the hotel, easy to getto from New York, quick flight,
and I figured with that manypeople I tried finding houses
anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
There's no way.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Anywhere it doesn't exist.
Figured so with that manypeople, I tried finding houses
anywhere in the world.
Anywhere there it doesn't exist.
I I could not find a house for30 girls.
It's ridiculous and I thoughtit just like can you imagine
stocking a fridge for 30 girls?
I was like hotel you can calldown and ask for water,
literally true, so that's thecurrent vibes.
Um, I've booked it, but Ihaven't like done all the things
(10:28):
with everyone yet.
If that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, so far any wins or regrets with planning the
bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Wins or regrets?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
That's a good question, yeah it sounds like
you gave a lot of notice.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, yeah, I gave a lot of notice.
It was like almost a year.
It was really like 10 months.
I was like it's a lot and likepeople they won't really have to
travel to my wedding They'llhave to drive or take a train,
but like other than that it's alot.
And I have a lot of friends whoare teachers Like they don't
really get a lot of off days.
It's crazy.
(11:02):
So, like different things likethat, and I also, if you can't
tell, I love to plan in advance.
So I'm like, for my own mentalsanity, I need this weekend
picked and done, I'm going thatweekend and I will plan it for
that weekend.
But I'm also working with BatchBoss, if you've seen them on
Instagram.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yes, they were on the podcast.
Yay, oh, they were.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah, I didn't see them, just like the week they
launched oh my God, yeah, that'sso funny, yeah, okay, continue
Tell us plug Vatch Boss.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
We love Vatch Boss.
Friend of the podcast too.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
We love Vatch Boss.
They booked the rooms for meand we haven't gotten much
further with Rachel.
It's been so long and she wantsto plan it already.
I'm like I'm anxious, butthey're amazing.
I was like I don't know how I'mgoing to figure out like
payments and Venmos for thismany people and meals and
(11:53):
whatnot.
They handle it all and I'm sograteful and they haven't even
done it yet.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, so new to the podcast, batch Boss is an
amazing concierge service that,like, helps you plan your
bachelor or bachelorette.
They do both men and women, soRachel's using them Love that.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Amazing.
I'm using them, thrilled aboutit.
They're the best and I'm soexcited for all the fun stuff
we're going to do.
They're very detail-orientedpeople, which we love, love.
It's all about the detailsStuff spill about the
Bachelorette.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Okay, I regret.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Tips wins.
I was already talking about itpretty in advance, but I would
say I told everyone, like forsure, end of January of this
year and we went in May, and theonly reason why is because I
had already brought it up monthsbefore.
That was just more of likefinalizing everything Exactly,
and so I reached out to,honestly, honestly, I would say,
(12:47):
quite a few it was probablyaround like 20, 25 people,
thinking most people wouldn't beable to make it, because, same
I have a lot of teacher friends,um, a lot of friends that are
just like either in between jobsor like I don't know so many
life things that I was just like.
Let me just ask long, long textmessage asking all the things.
Also, no pressure, we're stillif you are on TikTok, if you're
(13:09):
on bridal TikTok and you'relistening, which we all are.
Yes, we all are.
But if you're on the side whereit's all the hating, all the,
hating on the side.
I personally think the issue isnot bridal culture.
Sure, it has gone a littlecrazy, but I don't think that's
the issue.
It's a rude issue.
You have shitty friends.
That is the rude issue, whetherbride or bridesmaid, because as
(13:32):
a bride, I made sure to ask,like, as did Rachel, if you can,
I would love, if you could, ifnot, don't come.
And if not, they said no and Isaid I love you, we'll still be
friends, we're still friends andI don't.
Nothing's going to change.
Exactly Like the only reason Icould think of to be like a
(13:52):
crazy person would be like ifthey committed and then, like
last minute, they were likesorry, yeah, that's literally
the only thing I could think of,but anyone would, bright or not
, bride, it happens.
Yeah, on a trip.
So yeah, I was veryunderstanding.
I had friends that were like Ican either go to the wedding or
I can go to this, and I saidcome to the wedding, I get it.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Sounds like you have good friends who are straight up
.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, the wedding is more important.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Exactly, straight up is the best part.
All my friends like I hope Icultivate a space where that is
allowed because there's for youto you know they didn't have to
tell me their life story.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
They didn't even have to tell me they couldn't afford
it or anything like that youcan just say no, they just.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Some were like.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Politely.
Oh my God, I had two friends,my bestest friends too.
I am a little heartbroken thatthey can't come, but they were
like.
We bought tickets to see TaylorSwift in Paris a year ago and I
went valid, it's okay, likewhat are you going to do?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I wasn't going to freak out and cry over it.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
They're going to be at the wedding, it's not like
they planned it afterwards andthey were like let's boycott the
bachelorette.
Sorry, exactly, let's go to thebachelorette.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Parents.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Taylor Swift is the real way to get back at her?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
No, I would.
Literally.
That would be the only reason.
So I feel like the root of theproblem is shitty friends.
So back to our point though, orwhat I was saying.
So for my batch yeah, leteveryone know and my family's
from Colombia.
I'm born here, but my cousin,born and raised in Colombia, and
one of the girls coming on thetrip, one of my best friends,
Laura, she's also born andraised in Cartagena Barranquilla
(15:16):
area, so she already knew thearea we were going to too.
So I was like great, two peopleI can reference.
My father also lives inColumbia, so, for like cost
purposes, I called him up and Iwas like hey, dad, me and the
girls will be there.
And he was like I'm bringingthe van, I'm driving you girls
everywhere You'll be fine, I'mso jealous, yeah, so I was like
(15:37):
great Dad's there.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I wish I had a family member in the house.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, my dad just yeah, he's been there for a few years
, so I was like might as wellhang out with my dad, who will
not be at my wedding, so I'll behappy to spend that time with
him too.
My friends are going to meethim, it would be.
I just thought it'd be a nicelittle moment.
But he was like I'll be there,don't worry guys, we got the
sickest mansion villa, oh my God.
Also, if you don't know,columbia is way cheaper.
(16:03):
Such a better price.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It's way cheaper guys , I'm going to a wedding there,
so we got to kiki about that, alot of people.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
You got to chit chat.
Cartagena is the place to beguys.
I'm not joking, it is soaffordable I'll show you.
But I'm staying in.
It's called Casa de Iglesia, soit's literally this.
It just fits the whole vibe ofmy wedding.
I love thinking about it, butit's like an old school,
catholic looking Spanish villaslash church vibe.
(16:30):
It's stunning.
So, anyway, I showed all myfriends.
They were all like immediately,yes, like the ones who could go
were like, absolutely, for howmuch we're going?
And it comes with breakfastincluded.
It came with private security.
I told them about my dad.
They were like, great, he'll bea part of this.
Like, we got him.
It is walking distance fromeverything.
Damn, because, guys, that issuch a luxury.
(16:52):
I went to Tulum for my bestiesbatch, love her, but the walking
killed us.
Like there was quite a, there'squite a lot of walking, I get
it.
I was like, guys, we areliterally two feet from
everything, like it is justright there at the door.
We just got to go to therestaurants or this.
Oh, I'm so jealous.
All the like luxury boat tourstuff.
I knew I wanted to do somethingfun and that's going to be my
(17:13):
gift to my friends for comingand committing to come to my
wedding and a bachelorette.
I was like I will cover thisboat day on Saturday Not that
like it was anything crazy,because Columbia has amazing
prices, so I was like, but stillit's the thought and like the
effort.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's very sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I was like Like all the goodies.
Thankfully I'm working withsome amazing brands too.
Like got some new things fromlike Vacation.
You know all their sunblockstuff.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That's on my list for that.
Oh my God, do it.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
The cutest little things and like I worked with a
lot of latino small businessestoo for my stuff, because I feel
like I wanted to amplify someof that.
So, yeah, goodies for all myfriends, yeah, and then, um, the
saturday will be like our boatday.
But, yeah, everyone seems superfreaking excited and they're
all like when are we ever goingto go to columbia?
Like you know, it's a girl'strip.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
With somebody who knows it.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
With someone who knows it.
Yeah, With a family memberwho's driving you everywhere.
You know you don't have toworry about all this stuff Not
have to plan a thing.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Exactly Just show up and have fun.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
And food's like already or Ali's.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
So the big takeaway is, I'm hearing is giving lots
of notice, yeah, throwing inlike maybe a little bit of a
thank you into it and reallyjust like you already had it so
figured out.
You had it so figured out viaBatch Boss Like this is where
we'll stay Presenting it, withpeople being like hey, not like
On.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Canva, are you free?
I?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
did it on Canva.
You want to pull it togetherfor me?
This is you.
You know like, don't push it onyour friends to plan it
completely.
It sounds like we're all have alittle bit of like we like to
plan.
We're in control it's very clear, all three of us are very in
control it's but thepresentation matters, like how
you pose it to your friends,like, please drop a lot of money
on me to go do this thing.
Yes, how you present that tothem is gonna matter, and it has
(19:03):
your name on it and like we'realso in the social media space.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So I feel like it's really hard to let go of that.
Like I can't, I literally can't.
I'm like my name is everywhereand I'm the least social media
out of this group and I'm likenope, no, yeah, I needed to be
in control.
I feel a lot better when I'm incontrol.
I think my cousin she justhandled the translation because
we needed WhatsApp and stuff andI was like I have it.
But I was like girl, can youjust do it?
And she was like I'll do it.
We love that for her.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
So did you help do the other stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I guess, like you found the Airbnb.
No, quite literally everythingelse has been me.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
That's going to be me .
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, yep, exactly I do it all.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
That's literally going to do all of that and I
don't know.
I would feel guilty Again.
The people-pleasing has got tostop.
I would feel guilty puttingthat on a friend, because it's a
lot to ask a friend to plan atrip for this many girls and
make it exactly how you want itand drop a lot of money and deal
(20:01):
with all the personalities andlike figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Tailor your expectations because I agree.
Like, if that, if you want tobe the friend to do that, that's
totally cool.
Like that's a way to do this.
But tailor your expectationsLike they can't read your mind,
they don't live in their brain,they're working a job too Like
so we kind of like pick yourpoison here.
Yeah, pick your poison aboutwhich way you're going to want
(20:26):
this.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I would, with the opinions For sure help, yeah,
with the opinions that we weretalking about earlier.
I would say there, uh, myfiance has an older cousin and I
remember she asked me about mybatch.
A week ago I saw her and shewas truthfully like baffled
because she goes wait, you'remade of honor, didn't plan the
whole thing and pay for it all,and that's where, but not in a
like bad way like she was.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
That was her experience, right, and I was
like wait people like actuallydo that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
And she was like no, that is the way it's supposed to
be.
I was shook, I went no way.
In hell, that's my cousin.
I would never ask that of her,and if you're doing it, don't
it's okay if that's your.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, but if you do it Relationship, it's a
different situation, exactly Inthe situation I'm dreaming of
that's not working.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
You know, this is the one time in my life I was like
it's so unfortunate I don't havea sister, because I'm the one
person.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Because theoretically I would be like If I had a
sister.
I'm like I know how much youmake you better.
Sorry, sister, you're like youcan do it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
But I don't.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So we're stuck doing it ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
That is the one person.
I personally would be like gofor it.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I'll see you there no shame.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
See you there.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, I want to turn the conversation back to wedding
TikTok.
I don't know if you guys haveseen this wedding TikTok.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Sounds.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I don't know if you guys have seen this wedding
TikTok Sounds like it's kind ofclose to shitting on the bride.
On Bachelorette's, though, haveyou seen?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
the wedding guilt.
Tiktok, that's on me.
Yeah, it will be like.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Give a bit more info.
Yeah, sure, so it will be.
Usually it's a slide justsetting the stage.
Here they're talking aboutsomething they feel guilty about
having in their wedding.
Like I spent X amount on photoand you know, but like, or this
much on wedding.
Like, how are you navigatingany guilt or drama, negativity,
(22:16):
any things that you were?
Like I don't care how expensiveit is, I'm balling out on it
because it's important to me.
Minus photo and video, weballed out that it was important
.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Important memories.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
I'm not a flower girly, that's probably where I'm
going to juxtapose it.
So I want to hear your guys'.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Okay, the guilt.
So not only Like, let's getinto it.
Yeah, okay, guys, not only am Ia 2024 bride, but I'm also like
the eldest daughter in a Latinafamily trope.
So a lot of guilt.
Guilt is my middle name.
I am consistently filled withguilt, especially being a first
(22:50):
gen girl too.
So, yeah, all these titles I'llkeep going, but no, I think for
our wedding, kind of like howyou said, the beauty about
tradition sure is like there'sso much to it, right, it's like
history and all these thingswith your family.
But I also think the beauty ofgoing non-traditional or
traditional to you it's like youget a pick.
(23:11):
You're like I'm not that, soI'm not going to do that, and I
feel like for us, that was myvenue.
That was like one of the firstthings I can remember being like
, okay, I kind of notnecessarily ball out, but I was
like my venue, that I finallydecided the place.
I walked in and was like, oh, Ican get married, because before
the other venues I was like Idon't see myself getting married
.
We were this close to a lobby.
(23:32):
Because I was like it's pretty,but it ain't it.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Why am I spending so much money?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
on it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Literally I was just like okay, I don't get that
feeling that people get you knowkind of like with your dresses.
I didn't get that.
Just once again, I'm throwingit off.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
That's funny because I did for that.
I visited one venue.
That was it.
We'll go there, we're goingthere.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Next it was literally my last one.
And yeah, I got that feeling.
But the price was obviously itwas out of what we were
originally looking for.
But I was like this place is sobeautiful that I will have to
do the bare minimum foreverything else, because it's so
beautiful, because a lot ofplaces you have to kind of make
beautiful with the flowers, withthe chargers, with the
(24:14):
everything my dream guys like onmy Pinterest board was like I
wanted to give, like this is ourestate and we're just having a
backyard wedding.
That was the vibe I wanted.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
But it's still an estate.
Vibe, I was about to say I'veseen some photos on your story,
like it looks great, but I thinkthat's what I wanted to give
myself.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
So the guilt of that is because I have such like.
I'm such a creative person andwhen I had this vision and I
found the place and I felt Ireally fell in love with my
venue, probably more than mywedding dress.
I just loved it so much.
It felt like the thing youdream about, like I've got that
feeling for my venue.
Crazy, but it just feels out ofthis world.
It's only 30 minutes here, it'slike in Sierra Madre.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Wait, that's not crazy.
That's not crazy.
Don't say that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
But I never thought I would get to this point.
So, honestly, my whole processhas been very guilt trippy but I
just try to fight it becauseI'm like I am deserving of this,
regardless of the financialaspect of it.
But like within a realisticrealm, um, me and my fiance are
(25:21):
give this is a gift to ourselves.
Essentially, Like it is fully Iwould say, 90% on us.
Like we had some help here andthere, but it was definitely not
what most people get.
Um, and so, yeah, I think, whenwe sat down and we're like,
okay, are we going to do this?
Like I still feel the guilt butI keep telling myself like this
is kind of a gift to you,Stephanie.
(25:42):
I've never celebrated things inmy life, so I didn't have a
quinceañera or a sweet 16 likemost people do, Didn't celebrate
my college graduation.
It was kind of just expected,Like we had a little thing, but
it wasn't like good, Like that'show it should be you want to be
a child.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, you graduate in college.
Yeah, as you should, or elseyou'll be in history.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
And I'm the only girl and the middle child, so I'm
just like forgotten right at alltimes.
And so for this wedding, like Ithink I've definitely been on
that side of TikTok I do cry alot and there's a lot of moments
where I'm like, what are wedoing?
We love the wedding cry, yeah,but I think like at the end of
the day it is cheesy but it's sotrue, like I'm so excited for
(26:23):
that day because I know, likeour hard work that we put
towards it.
Oh my God, yeah, like I'm likethis was blood, sweat and tears.
But it was also like, also likethank you to my fiance for being
like you've always been putsecond or last.
And he was like this is yourtime to shine, babe, like we're
doing it.
Cause I was like I'm fine withthe low pain, I'm fine with
being invisible, I'm fine withnot doing anything.
(26:44):
And he was like hell, no,you're doing it.
So, anyway, but still very muchskilled, like I just try to not
ask anyone any questions or askfor their opinions because you
like my mom with the cake.
I'll never forget it.
Also, like I said, my mom nevergot married guys Like she has
no idea, she just is going basedoff of like telenovelas or
(27:05):
something, but she was.
I was like I want like a littlecake, simple, small cutie, just
for us.
And she's like you're not doinga 10-tier classic.
I go girl, girl, show me yours,show me the one you got.
And then maybe I'll think andshe was like well, I didn't get
married.
I'm like exactly so, we're notgonna do that, we're gonna do
(27:26):
the BB one.
I love you so much, but she'slike, but you know so, and so
did I'm like, girl, it's a cakeyou gotta let it go and now I
was like looking at her cake andI'm like, am I doing something?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I feel like no one gives a shit about the cake.
Who cares?
No one gives a shit.
And I'm so excited.
I think I was already investedin your wedding through my
eyeballs on the cell phonescreen.
You're so sweet.
Now I'm doubly invested, thatis.
I'm just, I'm beyond with yourfiancé.
That is so sweet and I'm justso happy for you and are we
(27:57):
going to cry?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
No, I'm not going to cry.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I don't think I've ever cried on the podcast Okay
good, we're not going to saytoday.
I'm sure he's like maybe I'vecried because the audio has
gotten deleted.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You know what?
I would cry over that too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Rachel, give us your wedding guilt, icks or any of
the navigating drama, any of thethings.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yes, okay, I would say I haven't felt that way
about anything until I found mywedding dress, because when I
was trying to rationalize it inmy head, I was like I mean, this
is the dress.
There's no other dress that Ilike, not that I like that.
I mean this is the dress.
There's no other dress that Ilike, like, not that, I like
that, I love, like that, I feelthis way in, but it's so much
(28:43):
money to wear it once.
For how many hours?
Four, five, six, and then I'llprobably change into like a
short little dress to dance,like what, and then it just sits
in a box until, hopefully, Ihave a daughter and she wants to
see it, and then it goes backinto the box.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
And then you're like so I don't really like that or
she might hate it Right.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I am actually wearing my mom's dress to our rehearsal
dinner, but I'm changing it alittle, but.
I'm like there we go.
That is the one thing I havefelt guilty about, because I
cannot wrap my mind around it.
But I'm like there we go.
That is the one thing I havefelt guilty about, because I
cannot wrap my mind around it,but I guess I did not feel
guilty enough not to do it.
Yeah, you still got it.
I got the dress Because I gotthe dress.
But that is the one thing thatI was like holy shit, like this
(29:32):
makes no sense.
Yeah, like the venue, that's avalid one.
You're there the whole time.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Like yeah, like, like the venue.
You're there the whole time.
Like you need that, like youneed the venue.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, the venue, everyone's in it.
You need the food, you needthat.
People gotta eat.
Yeah right, I'm a flower girly,so, like that's.
And going back to before, whereyou were saying how, like,
you're not as much of a flowergirl so if you spent it, this in
versus that, I'm kind of facingthe issue where it's all
seeming to be important, valid,valid.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I've yet to run into that one.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, like, yeah.
So I've got to work on that,but I actually posted something
on my not my TikTok, myInstagram.
I reposted it.
I have to get the exact same,but it was like I'm a simple
bride, like a bride who justwants it Everything.
Yeah, that feels right.
That's funny, but yes.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
If you had to coin yourself guilt only with the
dress I'm.
I'm giving guilt into the photobecause I think it's ridiculous
.
But again, coming fromproduction, acting social media,
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
And then I'm like are your memories?
I can't, I'm taking away yourguilt.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, I have a little bit of guilt because it was
ridiculous and I super did notexpect it to be as expensive as
it was compared to otherpeople's.
I'm walking away with a steal,but I still gasped.
Oh she gasped.
I mean all of the vendors arecrazy, they're crazy.
I'm getting an 8mm film.
It's all crazy.
What am I going to do?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm getting Super 8 as well.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Oh, you are, you're getting Super 8?
Yep.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
No and I.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah, I would say, because yours was dress right
and yours was your photo video.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
The price of video and photo.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I honestly would is like I feel like you, I would
say.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
both of you come from families who do weddings often,
yes, very much so Liketruthfully, the only Like yeah,
my brother's getting marriednext week.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
He's exactly Like the only other weddings I've been
to that I would say were likesimilar would be my fiance's
sister.
He comes from a big likeSouthern, traditional Christian,
like family and weddings arebig deals, yeah, but for my side
this is like, and the pressureis there because my cousins, you
know, my aunts, they're like,they're all making an effort to
come, because they're like wenever do this.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, and they want to stay yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
They're like you got a villa for what?
What Huh?
Oh, you're getting married likethis.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So I think in general , but that's important to
acknowledge, but that'simportant to acknowledge like,
yes, like I'm your child, youboth still have siblings.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I'm an only child.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
They're like ball out , roll out, you know whatever,
like we got one kid, no, butthis is our time, but this is
very real, like expectations arevery different because of how
you grew up, and literallyeveryone's different, and that's
why you know I wanted to makethis.
A round table is really getlike a little bit of I love all
the perspectives.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
it's been so I know to just hear everyone's like
different perspective.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I agree that being said, I got it Cause, just cause
.
I feel like we got to touch onhow you felt a certain way about
your venue.
You felt a certain way aboutyour venue and I was kind of
like maybe I'm just like tooneurotic and when I'm at peace
means we're good.
I don't have these like I had avenue break my heart too, so I
had a venue.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
You had a low, not a high.
I had a deep, deep low and Iwas like you want how much?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Literally, go fuck yourself Same thing Just
opposite feeling, oppositefeeling Anyway.
So I want to know the feelingof the venue real quick.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I've said it 10,000 times my brother's getting
married next week.
So I was very lucky.
My mom, kind of, was involvedin planning their wedding as
well.
So she went on a lot of tourswith them in the area where we
grew up with.
Our fiances grew up nearby aswell, so like she knew what was
happening and she went to oneplace with them and when they
(33:12):
were there they were like oh,rachel should get married here,
like not us.
And I was like and whatever?
For a second I thought I wasgoing to get married here, not
us.
I was like whatever.
For a second I thought I wasgoing to get married in Florida.
Ended up not happening.
Then my mom and I went one dayand we were like, yep, this is
it, we're going to get marriedhere.
It's like 50 minutes from myhouse.
(33:34):
My fiance is middle of nowhere.
Everyone can sleep there.
It's like an old castle mansionaesthetic that they redid
recently, like they just builtDo you?
Why?
Would you know a Philly?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
venue.
Oh, it's a Philly venue.
I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Oh, it's not, because I looked at that You're like
girl.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I almost got that one , that one's beautiful.
Taylor Swift filming a musicvideo there.
I know it's exactly what I wasthinking of that continue.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Um, I know I did look but I was like but it's in new
york.
I don't have family, like noone lives in new york, like that
makes no sense, and I thinkthat the inside wasn't I don't
know.
But so, yeah, I saw it.
I was like cool, let's do it.
But so, yeah, I saw what.
I was like cool, let's do it.
And did you cry.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
It was chill.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
It was chill.
It was chill.
We were just like I'm going toget married here, I love that I
was like.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
this is it.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
We don't need to look again.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Oh, that's sweet.
And you, when you found it, youobviously had this huge like
this, is it?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I did, yeah, which is I feel like I'm more like you,
Like sometimes I'm so like go,go, go, go go, Let me get this
shit done.
Like I don't have time toprocess emotion.
So then I'm like I look verycold and stale, and then when
I'm alone, like by myself, I'mjust like, and then, but it's
(34:59):
like after everything's likegood.
Yeah, but I would say, yeah, Iwas so on the like elope train
and we had just finished ourengagement party.
We had it last year in February, I believe, and then we started
looking at venues like rightafter.
But it was a lot of pressurefrom my fiance's parents because
they were kind of like is thatgoing to happen, is it not?
Speaker 3 (35:09):
And on my side like are you not getting married?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, I was just like , well, we just give us a second
.
We just got engaged, so we werekind of taking our time and
then we saw two and I was likethey're great, they're fine, um,
and then, yeah, I was with myfiance when we went to go look
for it.
I found it like it was.
It's not an actual like weddingvenue, um, so, fun fact and a
good hack for my brides to bees,don't always search up
(35:33):
something that is a weddingvenue.
Mine is actually a school thatso happens to do weddings on the
weekends, or I guess, likeGreystone Mansion, could be one
of those considered it's like ahistoric landmark, but not
necessarily.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
There's a bunch of libraries you can get married at
, exactly.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
They turn out to be the prettiest school.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
No, it literally is.
It's used on I would have neverknown it was a school.
It's literally used on set forso many things.
I actually saw it on theMorning Show.
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
It's.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Oh wow, if you guys watch the Morning Show, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Steve Carell's Italian villa Is the Shut up.
No way, that's where you'regetting married.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yes, and you know, the price was me thinking they
went to Italy to film thatthough.
Literally, and I was like thisisn't Sierra Madre and I, I
fricking booked it Cause youcan't just book it Like homegirl
does not answer her phone inorder to contact them.
It's like, strategically,through email, you got to find
like the right email and so Ijust so happened to do it, so
(36:33):
much so that people werecommenting on Tik TOK, going how
the hell did you even get anappointment?
I haven't even been able to getan answer back.
I was like oh wow.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I really did something.
Yeah, I was like oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
So yeah, when I walk and you roll in, you don't even
hear the outside neighborhood.
It's in a neighborhood andthat's where my fiance said the
whole thing he goes we need toget married here.
You need to have this moment.
I want to have this moment withyou.
I want to have this moment withyou.
I want to have my moment too.
And when you just see it, wewere like that's our ceremony
area.
I cried and he is an emotionalguy, but he looked at me, guy,
(37:07):
and he was like, oh my gosh,this is it we're doing.
We're having a wedding.
That was, like I would say,probably the most special moment
we've had so far, cause I waslike it's just, the place was
overwhelming's so pretty.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah, we looked at a lot of venues in my thing and my
oh, it took us.
I remember talking about thatwith you.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
I had texted both of or dm both of you being like
what fucking venues are you guyslooking?
Speaker 3 (37:31):
at because I was.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I was looking at new york at this point that's how
desperate which I do have familywho lives on the east coast.
You're, he would have been likemarley you've never lived in
New York, but like okay, no, Iwas going to do the same.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I thought the Plaza Hotel, like I was going straight
up like Bride Wars.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I really went up and down with venues.
I had one break my heart.
I thought it was in, I couldsee it, I could vision it and
the like I don't.
I was looking at a lot ofhotels, hotels like a lot of
them package if they're biggerhotels like Hilton's or whatnot
that hot name brand, they'llpackage it.
So it's like you get thisceremony site with this cocktail
hour and then this ballroom,and you can't a lot of them.
(38:09):
You can't mix and match and ifyou do, you have to basically
buy them out.
And we saw this ballroom atthis one hotel and I'd seen
influencers and people getmarried there.
Which one?
It's?
The Waldorf Astoria Laguna.
Yeah, I know what you're tryingto tell me that ballroom is the
ugliest thing I have everfucking seen.
Every luxury, I don't even care.
(38:30):
Come at me, you were rude to me.
I mean they were and they were.
But like every luxury likewedding Is there, is there.
Every luxury like wedding isthere.
I put is there.
They completely recarpet itlike they bring in carpet it's
so ugly I know someone doingthat like yeah, but they make it
into a whole new room, the, butto have this shit ballroom and
(38:53):
the price.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I was like that's my entire yeah, budget, yeah yeah,
yeah, that's all of it, just forthe carpet, I'm coming naked
Just for the carpet.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm coming naked for that carpet.
So we had to walk away from it.
But yeah, so it did take me aroller coaster, but when I did
find the venue, I will say Icouldn't shut up about it.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I was like I can't shut up about it.
I love that for mean anything.
But the weirdest part is I'm anemotional girly.
I keep thinking I'm going tocry.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
I don't cry.
I don't know.
I'm a sad girl, but there'stimes where I get emotional.
Maybe not.
I think you are.
I think you're lying to us,okay, all right.
Well, wait till you get thosevoice memos at 3 am, when I'm
having a bride breakdown and Ican only talk to you two.
We're like, let's hear it,we'll save it for then.
All right, I want to leave on anote of giving our brides to be
, or brides who are stressingout, planning Like if you were
to start the whole processdifferent, steph.
You are so close to the finishline.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Rachel and I are eking in with these engagements.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
What would you maybe do differently?
Or, you know, something youwish you had done earlier, just
like for the girlies gettingstarted.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Okay.
So I think I would have saved.
If you know for sure you wantto have a wedding and if you're
in the position I can only speakfor myself If you're in the
position of where it's just youand your fiance paying for it,
or some situation close enoughto that, I would have said I
would save.
I wouldn't do this whole thingagain and be like, oh my God, I
(40:19):
regret everything.
No, I'm happy with it.
I just wish, with the firstyear, just put some money aside,
just a little thing.
I've also picked up side gigsin order to cover things.
I would say, just start savinga little bit, if you know it's
all on you and your partner.
And maybe I don't know, thisone's tough because I feel like
(40:41):
I've had my Pinterest boardready since I was like, since it
came out, you know like I'vehad my dream one.
But like also, don't give up onwhat you want unless it's
something out of your control,like that carpet, like girl that
had nothing, you know.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
What was I going to do?
Yeah, but I think for I lovethat.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Don't give up on what you want just because people
are like why would you spendthat much on that dress, why
would you spend that much onwhatever?
At the end of the day, it'syour money and people buy stupid
shit every day for no reason.
So, like, if you want to spendit on your wedding, do it.
I would just really like commitand hone into that.
(41:20):
Sometimes I felt like I wasbeing swayed to fit someone
else's expectations, but I'm sohappy that in two months,
everything that is going to beat my wedding is exactly what I
wanted and I didn't budge or,like you know, sway because of X
, y and Z.
Like my venue, my dream place.
I couldn't get married in Como,I found it in Sierra Madre.
Like you know what I mean, Ididn't budge, I budged the
freaking, you know country.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
But I was like it's fine, that's okay.
Yeah, I was like you weregetting the same aesthetic, same
vibe Same vibe, it was Italy,literally.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Exactly.
So I feel like that I wouldprobably just save a and like,
just commit to it.
If you're having the wedding,just fully commit.
Everyone's going to tell youit's a stupid idea.
But, girl, I think having kidsright now is kind of dumb.
So so, like you know, I'd belike in this economy.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
I'm just going to our wedding.
We can cut that great.
I respect it.
Love kids, we love kids, butlike not everything, but not
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm not having them so and I'm not planning on
buying a house in LA Likethere's no way right now, Pick
and choose, so I'm like I'lljust throw a party.
Wedding venue, child yeahexactly.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
And, rachel, what about you?
I'd say, if you are in themental mind space before, like
you know, you're maybe going toget engaged, whatever it is, and
you're okay doing this.
I didn't do this, and I wish Idid.
Start pinning on Pinterest,start thinking about what you
(42:51):
might want, start, like, justthinking about it in general.
I did not think about it onebit and then I was like, oh my
goodness, I need to think aboutthis and I don't know what I
want, and you would think I wasthe person who had it planned
out my entire life.
So I don't know.
Just give yourself a leg up inthat way so that you're not like
whoa, let me figure it out.
That being said, though, do iton your own timeline, like we
(43:16):
all are having longerengagements.
If someone might want to getmarried in six months, great, do
whatever works best for you.
I didn't book my venue untilmonths after I got engaged, like
I couldn't think about it, sothat would be my advice in that
regard.
I'd also say do whatever makesyou and your fiance happy.
(43:39):
Regarding the actual proposaland engagement, if you're in a
situation where you don't needto tell anyone right away, of
course, tell your parents, yoursiblings, whatever.
Keep it to yourself for alittle, like it's such a nice
little bubble.
We didn't tell.
I didn't tell any of my friendsfor 24 hours.
They were like texting me, likehey, what's up, how's it going,
(44:00):
and I was like I can't answer.
But it was so nice because it'sso sweet.
Everyone's calling you andtexting you.
Whatever you want to be like inthe moment, in that moment,
literally, you don't want to beon your phone, as nice and
amazing as that is.
Later on, I think that was oneof the best things that we did
not tell a soul.
I mean, granted, no one waswith us, so it was easy to do.
(44:24):
They were all in a differentcountry.
If your fiance planned asurprise engagement party for
you after, you can't do that,but I would say, if you can,
it's really magical.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I love that you said that, because I haven't been
able to relate with someone withthat.
You know, I feel like it's beenso.
That's exactly how I feel aboutthe engagement part.
It was perfect.
Also, you have like the rest ofyour trip to enjoy.
So, like, imagine like I was,like I don't want to be texting
people.
Yeah, I'm still have 10 days.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
I also keep the good vibes going.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I'm on vacation Literally.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, not only will you have engagement and in your
guys' both chances vacation,then you get to tell everybody
and then you get a whole newwave over again.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I'm all about milking this for all it's worth,
literally.
I remember hiding photos of myring because people were DMing
me going.
They were like there's no way,it hasn't happened yet and I was
like I'm not telling anyone.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Good for you, but I love that for you.
You held on longer than I did.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I put emoji.
Yeah, I didn't hang on at all,no, but I People showed up after
at the engagement party?
Yeah, no, they were there.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Well, I was going to say we were abroad.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
You can't always it depends on the situation.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
If you're on vacation and you're not with anyone,
then do it.
It was a little secret likebetween us.
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Yeah, yes, exactly you just get to be in this bliss
of like no one literally knowsbesides mom, dad and whoever,
but I feel like that would.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
yeah, that is the best advice if you're having
this, or the people at the hoteloh my gosh and the concierge is
so happy.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
And they're like, they're engaged, they just got
engaged, we got engaged at ourhotel, so they were fully like
immersed.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
It's the same thing with the wedding dress.
Tell the strangers.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Yeah, well, that's so funny because that's kind of
going to be my takeaway or thetip I was going to say is like I
kind of got like and I don'treally regret it because my
people really did come and bewhat I needed them to be.
But there was a moment I likekind of overshared and I tried
on dresses a little bit earlier.
If your mom isn't leaving for atwo month cruise, maybe I don't
recommend trying them on thatearly, because it kind of like
(46:27):
creates a weird like do I?
do I pull or do I not?
This would be my takeaway.
It's okay to change therelationship about what you're
going to share with your weddingor what you're not Like.
At first I was super openEverybody's involved.
Now I'm a little bit moreclosed.
It's totally okay to change howyou're doing it and maybe I'll
have a breakthrough moment andbe like I need everyone involved
(46:49):
again.
So I would just say that, andthen also like the pressure
isn't the right word, but maybeit's like the yeah, expectations
overseeing, like hear it, butlike learn how to hear it.
And then like be like, okay, inthis room I can hear that, and
when I go to the bathroom it'sgone and if you want it back,
(47:10):
you can open it back up.
That would be my takeaway.
I mean, I still got a lot to go.
I'm actually the furthestbehind.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
So, oh my gosh, not that far behind have got a lot
to go.
I'm actually the furthestbehind, oh my gosh.
Not that far behind have zeroexpectations.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Well, guys, I freaking love you both.
This was exactly my dreams forthis podcast and more Yay.
Thank you both so much forbeing here and thank you, guys,
so much for listening to ourlittle bridal era round table.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Thank you for having me for us.
This was so fun.
We get to yap about the thingswe've been wanting to yap about.
I know I've been dying to talkabout this stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
I was like I was waiting to say it all to someone
.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, I've been waiting, and I just feel bad for
everybody who can't hear whatwe're going to talk about off
mic.
So peace out, bitches.
Thank you so much for listeningto Confessions of a Wannabe it
Girl.
Don't forget to rate andsubscribe to the show.
As always, we'll see you nextTuesday.
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