April 29, 2025 • 19 mins
Why You're Always Anxious (And How To Regulate Your Nervous System)
Welcome back to The Confident Sober Women Podcast! I’m your host, Shelby John, sober therapist, EMDR therapist, and fellow woman in recovery. In today’s solo episode, we’re diving into a topic that comes up constantly with my clients, friends, and even in my own life: nervous system regulation.
You might say, “Why am I always anxious?” or “Why do I feel overwhelmed when nothing’s even wrong?” If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We’ll explore why your anxiety often seems to appear out of nowhere, what’s really happening in your body, and the powerful science-backed tools you can use to feel calm, clear, and in control—especially in sobriety.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
✔️ What your nervous system actually does (think of it like your body’s operating system)
✔️ How trauma, stress, and addiction keep your system in fight-or-flight—even when you’re safe
✔️ Why nervous system regulation is crucial to sustainable sobriety
✔️ Three simple tools to use TODAY to reduce anxiety and regain calm:
- The Physiological Sigh (a proven breath technique straight from neuroscience)
- Orienting to Safety (a quick somatic practice to ground your body)
- Name It to Tame It (a powerful brain hack to reduce emotional reactivity by 50%)
Plus, I share how EMDR therapy and remote neurofeedback go beyond talk therapy to retrain your brain and heal anxiety and trauma at the root. These tools are especially helpful for women who’ve been sober a year or more and are craving deeper healing and emotional freedom.
If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your day and finally feel peace in your body—this episode will show you exactly how to start.
🔗 Want to try remote neurofeedback from home?
Learn more about my program and see if it’s right for you at shelbyjohn.com
💥 It’s available to women worldwide—no license limitations!
✨ Share this with a sober sister who needs to hear it, and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast so we can reach more incredible women just like you.
You are not alone. You are not broken. And you don’t have to stay stuck in anxiety. 💛
Support the show
Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!
If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.
And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello and welcome to the Confident Sober Women
podcast.
I'm your guide, shelby John.
I'm the mother of three, wifeto one, and sober since July 1st
2002.
As sober women, we havesomething huge in common, and
when we share our lives and ourstories with each other, we feel
that sense of belonging andconnection.
(00:30):
So we know we are no longeralone.
In this podcast, you will hearreal life talk about building
confidence and transforming yourlife beyond recovery.
So come on, let's talk.
Hey, it's me, shelby.
Have you ever wondered what'sreally happening in your brain
(00:51):
during recovery?
Are you ready to take controlof your anxiety, sleep better
and finally feel focused andconfident?
I want to introduce you to agame changer that's transforming
women's recovery remoteneurofeedback therapy.
I want you to a game changerthat's transforming women's
recovery Remote neurofeedbacktherapy.
I want you to think of this asa personal trainer for your
brain.
It's helping you build newneuropathways right from the
(01:14):
comfort of your own home.
So if you're dealing withanxiety that just won't quit, if
you have ADHD that's makinglife chaotic, or sleep issues
that leave you exhausted,neurofeedback could be your
missing piece.
It's science-backed braintraining that works with your
natural healing process, helpingyou regulate emotions and build
(01:37):
lasting confidence.
The best part is, you don'tneed to add another appointment
to your busy schedule.
My remote neurofeedback programbrings professional guidance
and support right to your livingroom.
Do you want to learn more aboutneurofeedback therapy?
You can go to my website,wwwshelbyjohncom to download my
(01:58):
free guide.
Is Neurofeedback Right for you?
Together, we'll create the calm, confident future you that you
deserve.
That's wwwshelbyjohncom.
Take the first step towardstraining your brain for lasting
change.
Well, hey there, sober ladies,thank you so much for joining me
today for the Confident SoberWomen podcast.
(02:19):
I am Shelby John and, as always, I am honored to be here with
you today to spend a few momentstalking about your growth, your
healing and your continuedjourney in sobriety.
Today you just get me.
I'm going to share a little bitabout something that comes up
very often, probably daily, inmy conversations with clients in
(02:43):
my private practice, as well aswith friends, colleagues and in
the world, because in my ownpersonal experience, it seems
that everybody is strugglingwith nervous system regulation.
Usually, what people say whenthis is happening is that they
have a lot of anxiety.
(03:03):
You might be able to relate tothis, because it is a topic that
is ever prevalent in our worldtoday.
So if you've ever said you know, why am I so on edge, or why
does my anxiety feel like itcomes out of nowhere, or why
can't I calm my own body down,then this episode is going to be
for you.
(03:24):
So I want you to hang in there,grab a notepad and a pen.
There's going to be some reallygood practical tools, maybe a
big glass of water to kind ofhelp you work through as you
listen to this.
So let's talk about nervoussystem regulation.
Well, what is the nervoussystem?
It's truly like, I would say,like an operating system for
(03:44):
your body, kind of like yourcomputer has an operating system
.
Maybe you are an Apple personor a PC user.
It has an operating system.
So it's always scanning yourenvironment to decide if you are
safe or if there's any dangeraround.
And remember, this is happeningautomatically, right under the
(04:06):
surface, and it's happening allday long.
Your brain is consuming datafrom your environment and many
of us, especially those whoexperience trauma, stress,
addiction, any kind of long-termwhat we call dysregulation then
our nervous system gets alittle, I'd say, overprotective.
(04:28):
It's kind of like we get stuckin a pattern of hypervigilance.
Does this sound familiar to you.
Maybe you can relate.
You might also notice thatyou're always feeling rushed or
overwhelmed that's a word I heara lot If nothing is actually.
Or overwhelmed that's a word Ihear a lot If nothing is
actually urgent around you, butyou still feel this kind of
(04:53):
overwhelming sense that you havethings to do or that it's too
much right.
You feel like you kind of getsnappy, maybe emotional, really
out of nowhere.
You might notice that you havetrouble focusing or sleeping, or
even just being present in themoment, like kind of doing
whatever you're doing in thatmoment.
All of these signs are thingsthat let us know that your
(05:14):
nervous system is dysregulated.
But here's the good news youcan change that and you can
learn to regulate your nervoussystem and bring it back to a
calm and grounded state.
So, no worry, there is hope.
So why does this matter in oursobriety journey?
Well, regulation is essentialto sobriety.
(05:36):
If you've been sober for anylength of time now, you probably
already realize this, even ifyou haven't been able to put
words to it, because when wedon't feel safe in our bodies,
when we're stuck in anxiety orreactivity, it's really hard to
stay connected, confident andclear right.
We end up defaulting to our ownold patterns or we feel like
(06:01):
we're kind of white-knucklingour way through the day.
But when we do learn toregulate our nervous system, we
experience more peace andpresence and empowerment.
We make better decisions, weshow up as the mom or the
partner, friend or the leaderthat we want to be and we stop
(06:23):
feeling like we're being run byour stress.
Right, probably you can relateto this.
There's times when you feellike kind of your stress or
overwhelm is happening andyou're just kind of living in it
.
Right, you're not in charge.
So there are some simple toolsto regulate your nervous system
that I really want to share withyou that you can start to
implement literally today.
So let's get really practicalhere.
(06:45):
There's three super effectivetools you can start using right
now to help regulate yournervous system and reduce
anxiety.
The first one is thephysiological sigh.
Yes, I said sigh like thiscomes straight from neuroscience
.
So this isn't just me makingthis stuff up, this is science.
(07:05):
It's two inhales followed by along exhale.
So here's how to do it.
So you're going to inhalethrough your nose.
Let's, let's try it togetherReady.
Inhale through your nose, thentake a short inhale at the top
of that and then exhale slowlythrough your mouth.
(07:26):
Did you get it?
So inhale through your nose andthen take another short inhale
at the top and then exhaleslowly through your mouth.
You can do an audible exhale, asigh, kind of out loud.
(07:48):
If you've ever been in yogaclass, you might have
experienced this already.
Really kind of lets that all go, and what this tells your brain
is that hey, you're safe, it'sokay to slow down.
Oxygenating our brain literallyis a strategy for calming our
nervous system.
So that is the physiologicalsigh.
Remember how to do this.
(08:10):
You're going to inhale throughyour nose, take a short inhale
at the top and then exhaleslowly through your mouth.
Okay.
Number two is orienting tosafety.
This is, I think, a beautifulsomatic practice.
So take a moment, wherever youare, and just look around the
(08:32):
room or, if you're in your car,look around you in your car,
look, look around outside inyour surrounding, wherever,
wherever you are, and then namea few things you can see that
bring you comfort.
Maybe there's a plant, or thesunshine or blue sky.
Maybe there's a cozy blanket ora picture or a specific chair
(09:01):
or anything that makes you feellike your body is supported
underneath of you or around you.
It tells your nervous system,hey, I'm here, I'm grounded, I'm
safe right now.
So these orienting to safetytechniques are just literally
(09:21):
letting your nervous system,your operating system, know that
you are grounded and that youare safe and that you're present
in this moment.
Okay, got it.
And then number three is name itto tame it.
It's a catchy phrase, but whenyou feel a wave of anxiety or
(09:43):
maybe irritation or overwhelm,try saying out loud or just
quietly in your mind.
If you're somewhere where youcan't say out loud, I'm noticing
, I'm feeling anxious right nowor I feel tension in my chest
You're basically just callingout what you're feeling and
noticing in your body.
(10:04):
The simple act of naming thefeeling actually helps shift it
from the reactive part of thebrain to the frontal lobe, that
cognitive thinking part, andthat alone can reduce the
intensity by up to 50%.
Isn't that incredible, likeit's amazing, what our brain is
(10:24):
capable of doing by simplynoticing what is happening in
your body, using feeling wordswhere possible and naming it.
I can feel my stomach isgetting a little tense or upset.
I'm noticing that my heart isstarting to race.
Just begin to say those thingsout loud or quietly in your mind
(10:47):
.
You can even jot them down andreally see how this helps to
shift your brain from thatreactive to a more responsive,
calm place.
Okay, you got these practicaltools now in your toolbox, which
is amazing to have, and you cancarry these with you anytime,
and they're also very private.
So if you happen to be sittingin a meeting or in a family
(11:11):
event or someplace where thereare a lot of other people it's
kind of a public space you canstill jump into these tools and
utilize them without anybodyeven knowing.
Or you could easily slip into abathroom or into your car and
just sort of take thesepractical tools with you and
jump right into them to calmyour nervous system wherever you
(11:32):
are.
Let's talk about deeper healingNow.
There are two modalities I wantto share with you.
You've heard me mention thembefore and you may be familiar
with them just from your ownexperience or from social media
or the world.
The first is EMDR therapy, andthat stands for eye movement,
desensitization and reprocessing, and the second is
(11:55):
neurofeedback, which is a verysimilar neurologic modality,
just done a little bit different.
So for many women that I workwith, especially those who are
more than a year sober, thesetools become very helpful
because they want deeper, morelasting healing and they are
kind of craving.
(12:16):
They're really waking up,they're becoming aware of the
opportunities to dig in a littlemore.
Perhaps they've been utilizinga 12-step program and really
working hard on their recoveryand that's wonderful.
And then they start to realizeI want a little bit more.
I want to start working onthese negative beliefs that are
really glaring and they're kindof shining a light in my life on
(12:40):
a daily basis.
So they start seeking thingsout like EMDR therapy and
neurofeedback.
So that's where these twothings come in.
So if you've ever felt like talktherapy has helped but it
hasn't really cleared the rootof your anxiety or your trauma,
emdr and remote neurofeedbackcan be a real game changer
(13:04):
because it really helps toprotect your healing process and
process through the unresolvedtrauma in a safe and efficient
and empowering way.
And that's kind of all donewithout really reliving it all.
And if you're more of a I wantto do this at home kind of girl
(13:24):
like I like to sit in my couchin my PJs then that remote
neurofeedback option would be anincredible resource for you.
Remote neurofeedback trainsyour brain for calm, focus and
resilience.
It's kind of like going to thegym, but it's for your nervous
system.
So we're building thatresilience, building that brain
(13:47):
muscle.
You literally feel thedifference, with less anxiety,
better sleep and more emotionalflexibility.
So if you're kind of picking upwhat I'm putting down here, this
is speaking to you and you'recurious about how it works.
I would really love to sharemore.
I offer a remote neurofeedfeedback therapy program in my
(14:08):
practice for people just likeyou, and what's great again is
it's done right from the comfortof your own home.
The other part that's amazingand why I wanted to add it, is
it can be utilized and offeredto people all over the world.
We're not bound by licensurewith remote neurofeedback like
(14:29):
we are with things like EMDR orbrain spotting or talk therapy.
So if you live in Idaho orCanada, I can still talk to you
and be the provider for you forremote neurofeedback, which is
an incredible option, becausethere are other forms of therapy
are limited to the states thatwe're licensed in.
(14:49):
So if you do feel like you areready for more, if you've been
kind of on that edge whereyou're like, ah, there's
something else that you know I'mdoing great, I'm feeling really
good, but there's just anotherthing left.
Or maybe you're not doing good.
You know you're, you're reallyare struggling, you're in.
You know that kind of placewhere life is hard and you
(15:12):
aren't sleeping well and youdon't know where to go next.
Either place EMDR therapy orremote nerve feedback would be a
great way to help you make theshifts quickly and powerfully.
I also offer EMDR intensives,and powerfully.
I also offer EMDR intensivesand if you haven't heard about
(15:33):
that, you can read more aboutall of these things on my
website, shelbyjohncom.
But EMDR therapy intensives areliterally just multi-hour to
multi-day EMDR therapyexperiences where we come
together for either three hoursor six hours one day, two days,
three days, and we dosignificant work on your healing
(15:54):
using EMDR therapy.
It's really nice because iteliminates the kind of time loss
that comes with traditionalweek-to-week therapy.
You know how we have like theopening time, we have a closing
time.
You know, by the time we kindof get over the pleasantries,
we've, you know, used up some ofthat time and we're only left
with, you know, maybe like 35minutes to work, and that's
(16:16):
great, you know, it's still.
It's still wonderful, butsometimes it's really powerful
and much faster when we can workin an intensive format.
Think of it kind of as like atherapy retreat Although I use
that word and it's notnecessarily relaxing.
It's not like a vacation.
At the end you'll feel betterbut it is emotional work, but
(16:41):
it's the work that you would bedoing in therapy anyway, without
it dragging over many months.
So if that feels like somethingyou would like to do,
definitely reach out.
You can go to my website,shelbyjohncom, to learn more
about all three of thesemodalities EMDR therapy, emdr
intensives and then also remotenerve feedback and then you can
(17:03):
even schedule a freeconsultation call with me.
We can chat about your needsand what's going on going on
with you and you know what wouldbe the best fit.
And if I can help in any way oreven refer you to somebody who
might be a better fit, I'm happyto do that.
So I want you to know you don'thave to stay stuck in the cycles
of stress or survival mode oroverwhelm.
(17:25):
You can feel calm, you can movethrough your day with clarity
and confidence, and you don'thave to wait for everything in
your life to change in order tofeel better.
Why not start now?
Your body already holds thekeys to peace.
You just have to learn how toaccess them.
So I encourage you to pick oneof these tools and try it today.
(17:47):
Just set a little reminder onyour phone to pause and breathe,
go to my website and explorehow we might work together.
Either way, do something, makea commitment and stick with it
for several days.
Give yourself an opportunity toreally stay committed to one of
these tools, or multiple tools,and just notice how you feel
(18:10):
after a period of time.
We all know that tiny changesdone consistently over time is
what leads to dramatictransformation.
You are worthy of healing andyou're never, ever alone in this
journey.
Thanks so much for spending thistime with me today.
If this episode was helpful foryou, I would encourage you to
(18:32):
take a moment and share it witha friend.
Also, if you could leave areview and a rating.
It only takes about 15 seconds.
It really helps other women tofind our space and to become
part of our community.
Thank you so much and I'll seeyou next time.
Part of our community.
Thank you so much and I'll seeyou next time.
Thank you for joining me forthis week's episode of Confident
(18:55):
, sober Women.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, hit the subscribe
button above so you won't missany upcoming episodes.
And hey, if you really loved it, leave me a review.
You can learn more about theSober Freedom Inner Circle
membership atwwwshelbyjohncoachingcom.
Forward slash inner circle.
See you next time.
Hello and welcome to the Confident Sober Women
podcast.
I'm your guide, shelby John.
I'm the mother of three, wifeto one, and sober since July 1st
2002.
As sober women, we havesomething huge in common, and
when we share our lives and ourstories with each other, we feel
that sense of belonging andconnection.
(00:30):
So we know we are no longeralone.
In this podcast, you will hearreal life talk about building
confidence and transforming yourlife beyond recovery.
So come on, let's talk.
Hey, it's me, shelby.
Have you ever wondered what'sreally happening in your brain
(00:51):
during recovery?
Are you ready to take controlof your anxiety, sleep better
and finally feel focused andconfident?
I want to introduce you to agame changer that's transforming
women's recovery remoteneurofeedback therapy.
I want you to a game changerthat's transforming women's
recovery Remote neurofeedbacktherapy.
I want you to think of this asa personal trainer for your
brain.
It's helping you build newneuropathways right from the
(01:14):
comfort of your own home.
So if you're dealing withanxiety that just won't quit, if
you have ADHD that's makinglife chaotic, or sleep issues
that leave you exhausted,neurofeedback could be your
missing piece.
It's science-backed braintraining that works with your
natural healing process, helpingyou regulate emotions and build
(01:37):
lasting confidence.
The best part is, you don'tneed to add another appointment
to your busy schedule.
My remote neurofeedback programbrings professional guidance
and support right to your livingroom.
Do you want to learn more aboutneurofeedback therapy?
You can go to my website,wwwshelbyjohncom to download my
(01:58):
free guide.
Is Neurofeedback Right for you?
Together, we'll create the calm, confident future you that you
deserve.
That's wwwshelbyjohncom.
Take the first step towardstraining your brain for lasting
change.
Well, hey there, sober ladies,thank you so much for joining me
today for the Confident SoberWomen podcast.
(02:19):
I am Shelby John and, as always, I am honored to be here with
you today to spend a few momentstalking about your growth, your
healing and your continuedjourney in sobriety.
Today you just get me.
I'm going to share a little bitabout something that comes up
very often, probably daily, inmy conversations with clients in
(02:43):
my private practice, as well aswith friends, colleagues and in
the world, because in my ownpersonal experience, it seems
that everybody is strugglingwith nervous system regulation.
Usually, what people say whenthis is happening is that they
have a lot of anxiety.
(03:03):
You might be able to relate tothis, because it is a topic that
is ever prevalent in our worldtoday.
So if you've ever said you know, why am I so on edge, or why
does my anxiety feel like itcomes out of nowhere, or why
can't I calm my own body down,then this episode is going to be
for you.
(03:24):
So I want you to hang in there,grab a notepad and a pen.
There's going to be some reallygood practical tools, maybe a
big glass of water to kind ofhelp you work through as you
listen to this.
So let's talk about nervoussystem regulation.
Well, what is the nervoussystem?
It's truly like, I would say,like an operating system for
(03:44):
your body, kind of like yourcomputer has an operating system
.
Maybe you are an Apple personor a PC user.
It has an operating system.
So it's always scanning yourenvironment to decide if you are
safe or if there's any dangeraround.
And remember, this is happeningautomatically, right under the
(04:06):
surface, and it's happening allday long.
Your brain is consuming datafrom your environment and many
of us, especially those whoexperience trauma, stress,
addiction, any kind of long-termwhat we call dysregulation then
our nervous system gets alittle, I'd say, overprotective.
(04:28):
It's kind of like we get stuckin a pattern of hypervigilance.
Does this sound familiar to you.
Maybe you can relate.
You might also notice thatyou're always feeling rushed or
overwhelmed that's a word I heara lot If nothing is actually.
Or overwhelmed that's a word Ihear a lot If nothing is
actually urgent around you, butyou still feel this kind of
(04:53):
overwhelming sense that you havethings to do or that it's too
much right.
You feel like you kind of getsnappy, maybe emotional, really
out of nowhere.
You might notice that you havetrouble focusing or sleeping, or
even just being present in themoment, like kind of doing
whatever you're doing in thatmoment.
All of these signs are thingsthat let us know that your
(05:14):
nervous system is dysregulated.
But here's the good news youcan change that and you can
learn to regulate your nervoussystem and bring it back to a
calm and grounded state.
So, no worry, there is hope.
So why does this matter in oursobriety journey?
Well, regulation is essentialto sobriety.
(05:36):
If you've been sober for anylength of time now, you probably
already realize this, even ifyou haven't been able to put
words to it, because when wedon't feel safe in our bodies,
when we're stuck in anxiety orreactivity, it's really hard to
stay connected, confident andclear right.
We end up defaulting to our ownold patterns or we feel like
(06:01):
we're kind of white-knucklingour way through the day.
But when we do learn toregulate our nervous system, we
experience more peace andpresence and empowerment.
We make better decisions, weshow up as the mom or the
partner, friend or the leaderthat we want to be and we stop
(06:23):
feeling like we're being run byour stress.
Right, probably you can relateto this.
There's times when you feellike kind of your stress or
overwhelm is happening andyou're just kind of living in it
.
Right, you're not in charge.
So there are some simple toolsto regulate your nervous system
that I really want to share withyou that you can start to
implement literally today.
So let's get really practicalhere.
(06:45):
There's three super effectivetools you can start using right
now to help regulate yournervous system and reduce
anxiety.
The first one is thephysiological sigh.
Yes, I said sigh like thiscomes straight from neuroscience
.
So this isn't just me makingthis stuff up, this is science.
(07:05):
It's two inhales followed by along exhale.
So here's how to do it.
So you're going to inhalethrough your nose.
Let's, let's try it togetherReady.
Inhale through your nose, thentake a short inhale at the top
of that and then exhale slowlythrough your mouth.
(07:26):
Did you get it?
So inhale through your nose andthen take another short inhale
at the top and then exhaleslowly through your mouth.
You can do an audible exhale, asigh, kind of out loud.
(07:48):
If you've ever been in yogaclass, you might have
experienced this already.
Really kind of lets that all go, and what this tells your brain
is that hey, you're safe, it'sokay to slow down.
Oxygenating our brain literallyis a strategy for calming our
nervous system.
So that is the physiologicalsigh.
Remember how to do this.
(08:10):
You're going to inhale throughyour nose, take a short inhale
at the top and then exhaleslowly through your mouth.
Okay.
Number two is orienting tosafety.
This is, I think, a beautifulsomatic practice.
So take a moment, wherever youare, and just look around the
(08:32):
room or, if you're in your car,look around you in your car,
look, look around outside inyour surrounding, wherever,
wherever you are, and then namea few things you can see that
bring you comfort.
Maybe there's a plant, or thesunshine or blue sky.
Maybe there's a cozy blanket ora picture or a specific chair
(09:01):
or anything that makes you feellike your body is supported
underneath of you or around you.
It tells your nervous system,hey, I'm here, I'm grounded, I'm
safe right now.
So these orienting to safetytechniques are just literally
(09:21):
letting your nervous system,your operating system, know that
you are grounded and that youare safe and that you're present
in this moment.
Okay, got it.
And then number three is name itto tame it.
It's a catchy phrase, but whenyou feel a wave of anxiety or
(09:43):
maybe irritation or overwhelm,try saying out loud or just
quietly in your mind.
If you're somewhere where youcan't say out loud, I'm noticing
, I'm feeling anxious right nowor I feel tension in my chest
You're basically just callingout what you're feeling and
noticing in your body.
(10:04):
The simple act of naming thefeeling actually helps shift it
from the reactive part of thebrain to the frontal lobe, that
cognitive thinking part, andthat alone can reduce the
intensity by up to 50%.
Isn't that incredible, likeit's amazing, what our brain is
(10:24):
capable of doing by simplynoticing what is happening in
your body, using feeling wordswhere possible and naming it.
I can feel my stomach isgetting a little tense or upset.
I'm noticing that my heart isstarting to race.
Just begin to say those thingsout loud or quietly in your mind
(10:47):
.
You can even jot them down andreally see how this helps to
shift your brain from thatreactive to a more responsive,
calm place.
Okay, you got these practicaltools now in your toolbox, which
is amazing to have, and you cancarry these with you anytime,
and they're also very private.
So if you happen to be sittingin a meeting or in a family
(11:11):
event or someplace where thereare a lot of other people it's
kind of a public space you canstill jump into these tools and
utilize them without anybodyeven knowing.
Or you could easily slip into abathroom or into your car and
just sort of take thesepractical tools with you and
jump right into them to calmyour nervous system wherever you
(11:32):
are.
Let's talk about deeper healingNow.
There are two modalities I wantto share with you.
You've heard me mention thembefore and you may be familiar
with them just from your ownexperience or from social media
or the world.
The first is EMDR therapy, andthat stands for eye movement,
desensitization and reprocessing, and the second is
(11:55):
neurofeedback, which is a verysimilar neurologic modality,
just done a little bit different.
So for many women that I workwith, especially those who are
more than a year sober, thesetools become very helpful
because they want deeper, morelasting healing and they are
kind of craving.
(12:16):
They're really waking up,they're becoming aware of the
opportunities to dig in a littlemore.
Perhaps they've been utilizinga 12-step program and really
working hard on their recoveryand that's wonderful.
And then they start to realizeI want a little bit more.
I want to start working onthese negative beliefs that are
really glaring and they're kindof shining a light in my life on
(12:40):
a daily basis.
So they start seeking thingsout like EMDR therapy and
neurofeedback.
So that's where these twothings come in.
So if you've ever felt like talktherapy has helped but it
hasn't really cleared the rootof your anxiety or your trauma,
emdr and remote neurofeedbackcan be a real game changer
(13:04):
because it really helps toprotect your healing process and
process through the unresolvedtrauma in a safe and efficient
and empowering way.
And that's kind of all donewithout really reliving it all.
And if you're more of a I wantto do this at home kind of girl
(13:24):
like I like to sit in my couchin my PJs then that remote
neurofeedback option would be anincredible resource for you.
Remote neurofeedback trainsyour brain for calm, focus and
resilience.
It's kind of like going to thegym, but it's for your nervous
system.
So we're building thatresilience, building that brain
(13:47):
muscle.
You literally feel thedifference, with less anxiety,
better sleep and more emotionalflexibility.
So if you're kind of picking upwhat I'm putting down here, this
is speaking to you and you'recurious about how it works.
I would really love to sharemore.
I offer a remote neurofeedfeedback therapy program in my
(14:08):
practice for people just likeyou, and what's great again is
it's done right from the comfortof your own home.
The other part that's amazingand why I wanted to add it, is
it can be utilized and offeredto people all over the world.
We're not bound by licensurewith remote neurofeedback like
(14:29):
we are with things like EMDR orbrain spotting or talk therapy.
So if you live in Idaho orCanada, I can still talk to you
and be the provider for you forremote neurofeedback, which is
an incredible option, becausethere are other forms of therapy
are limited to the states thatwe're licensed in.
(14:49):
So if you do feel like you areready for more, if you've been
kind of on that edge whereyou're like, ah, there's
something else that you know I'mdoing great, I'm feeling really
good, but there's just anotherthing left.
Or maybe you're not doing good.
You know you're, you're reallyare struggling, you're in.
You know that kind of placewhere life is hard and you
(15:12):
aren't sleeping well and youdon't know where to go next.
Either place EMDR therapy orremote nerve feedback would be a
great way to help you make theshifts quickly and powerfully.
I also offer EMDR intensives,and powerfully.
I also offer EMDR intensivesand if you haven't heard about
(15:33):
that, you can read more aboutall of these things on my
website, shelbyjohncom.
But EMDR therapy intensives areliterally just multi-hour to
multi-day EMDR therapyexperiences where we come
together for either three hoursor six hours one day, two days,
three days, and we dosignificant work on your healing
(15:54):
using EMDR therapy.
It's really nice because iteliminates the kind of time loss
that comes with traditionalweek-to-week therapy.
You know how we have like theopening time, we have a closing
time.
You know, by the time we kindof get over the pleasantries,
we've, you know, used up some ofthat time and we're only left
with, you know, maybe like 35minutes to work, and that's
(16:16):
great, you know, it's still.
It's still wonderful, butsometimes it's really powerful
and much faster when we can workin an intensive format.
Think of it kind of as like atherapy retreat Although I use
that word and it's notnecessarily relaxing.
It's not like a vacation.
At the end you'll feel betterbut it is emotional work, but
(16:41):
it's the work that you would bedoing in therapy anyway, without
it dragging over many months.
So if that feels like somethingyou would like to do,
definitely reach out.
You can go to my website,shelbyjohncom, to learn more
about all three of thesemodalities EMDR therapy, emdr
intensives and then also remotenerve feedback and then you can
(17:03):
even schedule a freeconsultation call with me.
We can chat about your needsand what's going on going on
with you and you know what wouldbe the best fit.
And if I can help in any way oreven refer you to somebody who
might be a better fit, I'm happyto do that.
So I want you to know you don'thave to stay stuck in the cycles
of stress or survival mode oroverwhelm.
(17:25):
You can feel calm, you can movethrough your day with clarity
and confidence, and you don'thave to wait for everything in
your life to change in order tofeel better.
Why not start now?
Your body already holds thekeys to peace.
You just have to learn how toaccess them.
So I encourage you to pick oneof these tools and try it today.
(17:47):
Just set a little reminder onyour phone to pause and breathe,
go to my website and explorehow we might work together.
Either way, do something, makea commitment and stick with it
for several days.
Give yourself an opportunity toreally stay committed to one of
these tools, or multiple tools,and just notice how you feel
(18:10):
after a period of time.
We all know that tiny changesdone consistently over time is
what leads to dramatictransformation.
You are worthy of healing andyou're never, ever alone in this
journey.
Thanks so much for spending thistime with me today.
If this episode was helpful foryou, I would encourage you to
(18:32):
take a moment and share it witha friend.
Also, if you could leave areview and a rating.
It only takes about 15 seconds.
It really helps other women tofind our space and to become
part of our community.
Thank you so much and I'll seeyou next time.
Part of our community.
Thank you so much and I'll seeyou next time.
Thank you for joining me forthis week's episode of Confident
(18:55):
, sober Women.
If you enjoyed thisconversation, hit the subscribe
button above so you won't missany upcoming episodes.
And hey, if you really loved it, leave me a review.
You can learn more about theSober Freedom Inner Circle
membership atwwwshelbyjohncoachingcom.
Forward slash inner circle.
See you next time.
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